Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:24:41 -0400
From: preecherdave@gmail.com
Subject: What a Difference a Year Makes: Paul

What a Difference a Year Makes    Paul

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This document contains homosexual themes and acts. If you are underage or
don't like the subject, then don't read it.

The story is not autobiographical and is a product of the writer's fertile
imagination.


Comments welcomed                    preecherdave@gmail.com


Author's Note

If you have not read What a Difference a Year Makes, Nifty, Adult-Friends,
May 17, 2012, you might want to read it before reading this story. It is a
story that ends with the Prologue below.

In fact, this story also involves a main character in Surprised, Nifty,
Adult-Friends, January 14, 2012.  It has been interesting bringing the two
stories together.


This story is going to take a little longer to set up. The beginning is
sombre but it sets the scene. It does deal with some interesting issues. It
does lighten up. There are some good scenes in it! Stay with me.

Prologue from What a Difference a Year Makes

Brian was diagnosed with cancer in his mid sixties and recovered, only to
have it recur two years later in a virulent form. It was the saddest day of
his life, with Robbie's arm over his shoulder and his hand held by Susan
that Paul left the chapel, glad that Brian's suffering was over but feeling
totally bereft and internally almost inconsolable. But he too put on a
strong front for the grandchildren who really mourned the passing of
Grandad. It was Jason, Robbie's oldest, who almost broke his enforced, calm
front and almost moved him to tears when he came over to him at the
reception. He put his arm over Grandpops shoulder and whispered to him that
he knew how much Grandad meant to him but he still had them. But it was
Robbie and Susan that came and just sat with him later, reminiscing about
the crazy, wonderful experiences they had had together. That, and seeing
all his family around him, gave him the courage to follow Brian's last
words to him. Celebrate our wonderful time together and get on with your
life; you have so much to offer. No ghosts my love.  He would always
remember that kiss.

Later that day

He assured everyone that he would be OK when the time together after the
funeral at Robbie's house came to an end. He had left by himself. The first
shock, no Brian by his side to go over the events of the day. He
concentrated on driving trying desperately not to dwell on why he could not
go over the events of the day with Brian. Finally, when he was at home by
himself with the house filled with memories, he finally broke down. He
grabbed a couple of fingers of their favourite scotch and sat in the living
room. He raised his glass.

"Brian ... my love."

He felt the tears come and he just let them flow. They didn't stop for
quite a while and then the sobs started. Flashes of memories passed quickly
through his mind. Their meeting at the health club and that first meal
together. Their first time at the cottage, that wonderful time of
discovery. Times at the cottage with the kids. The family that they had
gathered around them. The marriages and the births they had celebrated. The
passionate love that had been a part of their entire life together. Only
the cancer had diminished that but there was still the close times together
as the inevitable end neared. He had made a promise to Brian that he would
get on with his life, no ghosts. How?

He finally fully realized what Brian had gone through when his wife had
died so many years ago. The emptiness, the lack of direction, the
loneliness, the feeling that nothing would be right again. Brian had
managed and he was so grateful that he had. After a few hours of
contemplation and wandering around the house, touching mementos and
remembering things, he heard himself talking to himself.

"Paul, enough! You are strong and you are tough. You have your wonderful
family and your friends. They have surrounded you with their love and
comfort. They will get on with their lives; you have to do the same. As you
once told me, love, you will always be with me in my memories and heart,
now I have to start making new memories without you." There were a few more
tears especially when he got into their bed, alone. Finally, he slept with
the promise that he would get to work on his duties as executor
tomorrow. He needed actions and things to do. He had promised Robbie he
would be at his house for supper tomorrow. Those were his last thoughts as
he finally drifted off.

He woke the next morning, knowing that there would be no cuddling or soft
words to or from Brian. He managed to put that aside and found himself
putting on the coffee, only one cup. It really was the little details that
hit him. As he ate breakfast, he read the Globe and Mail on his iPad,
determined to concentrate on the editorials and the business
section. After, he forced himself to sit down and go through the package
that the funeral home had given to him. It was very good with suggestions
of what had to be done to settle the estate. He saw a paper with
information about grief sessions. He was certain that his son and daughter,
his grandchildren and his friends would get him through. That information
sheet went in the trash can.

Supper that night was interesting to watch. Robbie and his sister Susan
were actually Brian's children from his marriage with Margie. Paul had
ended up adopting them as young adults. He thought and felt that they were
his children. Everyone was acting as if there was glass on the floor,
trying to step around him. They avoided any mention of Brian. Paul asked
his grandkids about their day. The kids were subdued but he managed to get
them excited about their sports and some of their activities. The mood
changed and even Robbie and Maria came out of the shell and supper became a
more typical supper. At the end of supper, Paul looked at them.

"Thanks guys I needed that. You are my rock bottom support. I read a poem
once that said it all. It was written in the voice of the one who had
died. He tells his listeners to always speak his name, to yell it out in
every room. He says that he is with them. Using his names means that he
lives in them. Brian, I love you. You told me to get on with my life. I'll
do that with you in my memory. I miss you terribly but I shall honour your
wishes and with this bunch I know that I can do it." There were moist eyes
all around. "Thus ends my sermon. Guys talk about him. Honour him with your
thoughts and voices. He loved you all, more than you can ever imagine. Do
you remember the time at the cottage when we all threw each other in the
lake ...." They were off with funny stories. Even Paul felt better when he
left. Robbie and his wife, Maria, saw him off and both gave him their
thanks for what he had said and done for them and the kids that evening. It
had been memorable. No ghosts.

He spend the next couple of weeks doing the mundane paper work of settling
an estate. There were still times of sad reflection and moments of moist
eyes. He started back at the health club and went through the well wishes
there. He had a little, quiet meltdown when he went to the concert with the
empty seat beside him. He made a mental note to find someone to go with at
the end of the month.

He sat down with his financial advisor. Amazing, he was still a wealthy
man. He had made certain that he was not included in Brian's will. All the
estate was to go to Robbie and Susan. The house was his as a joint
owner. Brian had insisted. He had decided that it would be his until he
sold it and then that money would be added to the education investments and
trusts for the grandchildren and the rest to Robbie and Susan. He most
definitely did not need the money.

He spent some time with Kevin and a lot with James. Kevin was a young man
who had been a friend of Robbie in high school. They had to come to know
him separately. He had become their friend and they were his mentors as
well. Paul had invested money in Kevin's start up company. Wow, what a good
investment that had been. He was still on the Board and that was a function
that he had attended this week.

James was his nephew. Paul and Brian had taken him in when his parents and
grand parents had discovered his major character flaw; he was gay. He was a
lawyer, a partner now in the firm of his lawyer and friend, John. Both
Kevin and James had partners that he and Brian really liked. He went for
supper at Jame's house on Sunday night and had a good time. They had talked
about Brian just as he had done with the kids the other night. Kevin, James
and their partners were both part of the 'family' that he and Brian had put
together. In fact, Paul had adopted James in his twenties as he came to
really care for him. There had been the nightly calls with Robbie or Susan
although they started to diminish as the weeks passed

He decided to contact his lawyer and friend, John, about the probate of the
will. Before he could get around to it, the phone had rung and it was
John. They chatted as they always did about everything under the sun. John
was not reticent about talking about Brian. John's partner, Mark, had died
of cancer 2 years before. They had been together longer than Paul and Brian
and had been hopelessly in love from start to end. So there was no pitying
tone. He knew that John had gotten his life together and on track. John
asked if he could drop over on the weekend to talk about the will and
probate.

"A lawyer who does house calls. How much do you charge for that service?
I'm not that rich!" There was a chuckle from the other end of the phone.

"Tell you what, if you throw in some of your best scotch and supper, I'll
do it pro bono. That's ...."

"OK smart ass, I know what that means in lawyer talk. Free for now but a
favour at another time." There was another chuckle over the line. "Come on
over in the afternoon about 2:00. We can talk estate matters and I'll cook
something nice for supper."

"You are going to order in aren't you?"

"You'll only know when supper is served."

Paul was pleased. He really liked John and now he had something to plan
for. He had become not a bad cook over the last years. He would do
something special, just to do it.

The next day he went shopping for his Daube de Beouf. It was a simple but
delicious recipe. He got a lovely roast and declined the butcher's offer of
cutting it up. He wanted to do it all himself. He saw some lovely
aubergines (eggplants) and decided tonight would be a night to make
ratatouille; so he bought the onions, tomatoes, red and green peppers,
zucchinis and garlic. It always tasted better the next day, hot or cold. He
chose to just make some rice in broth. He bought salad ingredients. He went
to the baker and bought some baclava that would keep nicely. They had decaf
coffee at home. He gave himself a little wan smile at the 'they'; his
stomach had lurched a bit. It didn't hurt quite as much as 3 weeks ago.

He opened a nice bottle of wine and had a wonderful time making the
ratatouille and cutting up the beef in cubes. As he was about to leave the
kitchen, he could smell that the house was redolent with smells of oil,
onions and garlic. He took what was left in his wine glass. "Cheers, love."
They had loved doing this together. His eyes were only a little moist.

He had been correct. He rose the next morning filled with energy and
purpose. After a quick coffee and cereal, he started on the Daube. By 11:00
it was in the oven to start its 3 hour slow cook. The broth was measured
and in the pot with the rice measured beside it. He put together a salad
and he made a vinaigrette for the salad. He and Brian always liked a
classic French vinaigrette made fresh on the day of a party. He set the
table with the good plates and cutlery. A quick trip to the local
supermarket and he had a handsome bouquet of flowers. The final task was a
trip to the basement for a good wine from their wine cellar. He chose
something special. This was his first solo entertaining. It was a good
bottle.

As John entered the house, he stopped and sniffed the air, "I take back
anything that I said or implied about the meal."

"Smart move counsellor and your abject apologies are accepted. Come on
let's start on the first of several scotches." They moved into the living
room. "Let's start with a Speyside first and then move over to the
highlands and then into the Isles."

"Good thing that this estate is fairly simple and straight forward; we
wouldn't want the scotch to mess it up. Well the financial aspects and
evaluation may be a bit more difficult but I think we call in the financial
people for that and that is not this afternoon."

Paul handed John a whiskey glass with just a finger of Cragganmore in
it. John sniffed it and then tasted with a look of pure pleasure on his
face. He looked at Paul knowing full well what was probably in his
mind. "Just this once." He paused looking squarely at Paul, "Brian."

"Thank you John. Brian." Paul had small wistful smile of thanks but no
moist eyes.

They went over what he had done in the way of notifications and
cancellations, letters sent to government agencies. There were a couple of
suggestions from John but he ended by saying that as he expected a good,
thorough job had been done. Then came the legal papers to sign. They worked
slowly but steadily. Paul took a break to get some highland whiskey, a
beautiful bottle of Dalwhinnie. Again the sigh of pleasure from both of
them. He brought out some interesting cheese and crackers to take the edge
off the appetite. When they were finished, they celebrated with just a wee
dram of Langavulin, one of their favourites he said as he handed it to
John. That did bring a bit of moisture. John put his glass down and gave
Paul a long hug. No words were needed. More sighs of pleasure as they took
another sip.

Supper was in John's words, unbelievable. Paul said that he took that as
backhanded compliment. John had replied that however he took it, it was a
wonderful meal. An idea came to Paul as John was getting ready to leave.

Again with a rueful little smile, "It appears that I have a ticket for a
vacant seat beside me for an upcoming concert. Would you be interested?"
Times, dates and a restaurant were set for the night and Paul gave John a
hug for an invigorating afternoon and evening.

The next weeks were filled with all the small things of life. Time with
Robbie's family and some time with Jason. It did include a regular schedule
of workouts. Paul noticed that he looked very fit for a guy his age. He saw
a lot of the family and even made a quick trip out of town to visit Susan
and her family outside Toronto.  He had dropped in briefly to see his
parents. They were still distant. He knew that would never change but a
least, they now accepted him and he enjoyed his visit. There were some
suppers with friends. He suddenly realized that his concert with John was
coming up. Emails were exchanged and arrangements verified.

As he went to bed on the Sunday evening, he realized that his libido was
beginning to return. He had awakened that morning, hard but he figured that
he just needed a morning trip to the bathroom. That night he realized that
he was definitely feeling more. He finally knew that he would only get to
sleep if he got relief. He found some lube and had some very randy thoughts
about a couple of the younger guys he had seen in the shower at the club
the other day as he climaxed fairly strongly. He realized that he and Brian
had been active in one way or another up to a few months before the
medications and the pain had changed that for Brian. Several times Brian
had used his hand to finish Paul off even though Brian couldn't get
hard. It appears that time does begin to heal.

They had an excellent meal at the restaurant in the Centre for the
Performing Arts and they were obviously very good friends. Even without the
business of the estate, they had a wide ranging, interesting
conversation. It felt good. They both enjoyed the performance and Paul
accepted an invitation to John's downtown condo for a drink of his scotch.

They had a very relaxed time which both were enjoying immensely. There was
a short break in the conversation while John was giving Paul another
scotch. John looked at Paul with a bit of a strange look. "Paul I am going
to raise a topic that you may find a little strange and stop me immediately
at any time. Our friendship is really valuable to me."

Paul looked him. "You must have something on your mind Counsellor. Hope it
is not a problem?"

John had the biggest grin with a hint of mischievousness in it. "I am going
to ask a very personal, almost funny question. Has your libido started to
kick in?"

Paul started to laugh. "That was not one of the topics that I expected but
strange that you should ask."

John just looked at him, saying nothing. The old lawyer trick. Let the
other guy make the move.

Paul looked at him still smiling. "I had my first erection the other day
and couldn't get to sleep that evening until I ... took action."

It was John's turn to laugh at his turn of phrase. "Do you remember my
visit a couple weeks before Brian passed? You left the room for a while to
get some food and do some chores. Brian and I had an interesting chat. He
asked me to do something. Made me promise."

Paul used the old lawyer trick himself. "And?" Paul couldn't believe the
topic but he could believe that his lover would do something crazy behind
his back.

"Let me tell you a little story about me after Mark's death. Brian knew
about it, somehow." It turned out that Graham and Robert had arrived one
evening with food and drink about 6 weeks after the funeral. In short, they
had convinced him to act on his returning libido with them and to rejoin
the world. It was a one time thing for them. As friends they took him to
bed and had had a night of friendship and passion. "It helped
immensely. Brian asked me to offer the same thing for you as a friend. It
can be a one time thing or more or you can say no, not at all." John came
over and put his arms around Paul. "No tears now. They can come later."

Paul was dumbfounded. Random thoughts were shooting through his mind. Brian
was still giving. John was obviously a little nervous. He, himself, was
horny and had been since his hand job a couple of days ago. Would it hurt
their friendship? He knew that Graham and Robert were still close friends
of John. Was he ready?

John broke through his thoughts. "Paul, it doesn't have to be tonight or
any night. Can I just hold you for a time?"

Paul let himself relax into John's embrace. John felt it and was happy that
their time together had not been ruined. They just sat silently in the
embrace.

Paul could feel the warmth and strength of John. He could smell his
masculine scent. Shit, he was feeling turned on. He was reacting to the
kindness, to Brian's unending care for him and to his own growing need for
closeness. Shit, he was reacting to a very sexy man. He let his hand rest
on John's leg. In a minute, John started to rub his shoulder and run his
fingers along his arm. Paul turned his head to look at John. There was an
instant connection made and John moved his head towards Paul and their lips
met. It was not a passionate lover's kiss but a slow gentle kiss that was
still as erotic as hell.

Within a minute, Paul broke the kiss and John saw a wicked smile
start. "John it looks as if my body is telling me what to do." They looked
down at his very enlarged package. Seamlessly John stood up allowing Paul
to see that he was in the same state, extended his hands and pulled Paul
up.

"In the famous word used around the world, let's go somewhere more
comfortable?" It was a question. In answer, Paul smiled and put his arm
around John's shoulder and led the way.

In the bedroom, not knowing what to do next, Paul started to unbutton his
shirt. John stepped in front of him and stopped his hands. "My job." He
took off his shirt and stood back and admired what he saw. He indicated
that Paul should reciprocate. They did this in turn, shoes, socks, pants,
underpants until they stood naked. Both were very erect. Both were admiring
what they saw.

"Paul this is your night. Will you stay the night? I like to cuddle and
wake with someone beside me." Paul nodded yes.

John reached out with his hands. "Paul you have a really magnificent body."
He started to run his hands over his face, down his neck and over his
chest. He ran his fingers through Paul's light hair and then over his
nipples. Paul sighed and John smiled, thinking that this was a man after
his own heart. He stroked the nipples, lightly fingered them and then
suddenly pinched. Paul threw his head back in pleasure. At the same time,
as his cock spasmed slightly, a drop of pearly liquid appeared.

Paul muttered, "Oh, that feels fantastic. I think you deserve the same." He
reached forward and after repeating his actions, ended by pinching John's
nipples with his fingers fairly hard. John was obviously in a world of his
own.

John slowly came back and gently pushed Paul so that he was sitting on the
side of the bed. He knelt and very soon after was running his hands and
tongue over Paul's legs, balls and red, hard cock, he took the head in his
mouth. As he sucked and used his tongue around the head, he could hear
little moans and noises coming from Paul's mouth and throat. His eyes were
closed and his mouth open.  John felt Paul's hands clench his hair and head
as he slowly took his whole cock to the base and then start to move up and
down.

John continued his efforts, until, "Been a while, too close!" As Paul
gently moved John's head up and off him, Paul looked at John with an look
of satisfaction and pleasure. He immediately took him all the way into his
throat. Two guys who had had lots of practice. It was John's turn to be
transported to another level. He finally moved Paul's mouth off of him.

"Looks as we have both decided to participate completely." John commented
with his wonderful smile. "Now for the main course and it is under my
direction. He got up and came back with lube and a condom. He handed them
to Paul and knelt down on the bed with his hands and knees on the bed.

There was quick decision that condoms were not necessary, given their
history. John, over his shoulder at Paul, "Big guy, you know what I want
and I assume you know what to do."

Paul marvelled at his lightness of tone. It was a contrast with the vigour
of the execution of his promise to Brian. Paul could tell that they were
both enjoying themselves to the full.

He put lube on his fingers and put one finger in John who moaned his
appreciation. When he had three in and was going over and over the
prostate, and had John thrashing back and forth, he finally withdrew and
put lots on himself. He put the head of his cock at the entrance.

"To use an old school yard chant, ready or not."

"Ready big guy. Do your best. In fact, get to it."

His very inflamed head slipped in. He stayed still, feeling the gentle
contraction around him; it was so erotic to feel the heat, tightness and
reaction of John's body. He put his arms around John and slowly ran his
hands over his chest and hair and slowly brushed the nipples.

"This is not supposed to be a torture session. I need you in me all the
way. You may be big but I can take it."

Paul slipped slowly in until he could go no farther. He had not stopped his
work on John's chest and nipples.

"Fuck me, dammit!" John crooned.

Paul chuckled, "With pleasure."

What followed was pleasure and pain for both. But the pain came from the
electricity flowing through them and the heightened sensation of bodies
that were on fire. They swore, they directed, they talked and they moaned a
lot. Finally, they could both feel the change in Paul's strokes and the
urgency in his breathing.

"Paul, finish! Fill me with yourself!"

Those words inflamed him more. He took two more stokes and went all the way
in and held. Paul came with gasps of pleasure, one, two and then he started
to stoke again in rhythm to his pulses As usual, he came a lot. He yelled
out his pleasure. He came out, turned John onto his back and sucked him
hard. He looked up as John's urgency was obvious. "Do want to share the
treat I am about to have."

John's eyes were wide. "Wouldn't miss it for a moment." He managed to gasp.

Paul renewed his efforts. John shouted and Paul felt the first shot that
the back of his throat. There was enough that he had to swallow a bit. When
John was finished, Paul leaned over and kissed John sharing with him. Paul
had his eyes shut as they kissed. John hugged him tightly.

Paul opened his eyes and took one look at John and the tears started.

John grabbed him tightly in the hug. "I did exactly the same thing. Just
let it work itself out. There are so many different emotions running
through you now but you have done the right thing."

"I know."

"We can talk about it tomorrow. Welcome back big guy."

"You did say that it can be a one time thing or more or I could say no not
at all?" John nodded yes. "Good, just as long as you know that tomorrow
morning is your time, my friend. I have plans for you." He said this with a
smile and with tears streaming down his face. The word cathartic came to
his mind several times before he fell asleep.

True to his word about cuddling, Paul woke feeling John's arms around him
and an erect cock pressing on his ass. There were no words spoken. Paul
reached around and gently stroked John's erection. They slowly aroused each
other. Finally, Paul reached for the lube, turned over on his back and
spread his legs.

"Big guy you know what I want and I assume you know what to do?" This time
it was an innocent, devilish grin with a bit of question in it.

"Smart ass, hold on for the ride of your life."

"Do your best, big guy and I do mean big." He was looking pointedly at
John's almost purple, hard, pulsing cock.

It was gentle but intense. John actually took them both to edge a couple of
times. Paul put him over when he reached up and worked his nipple with one
hand and fingered his balls with the other, pulling them. John sucked him
dry and they shared. As John ended the kiss, they were staring at each
other.

"Thank you, John. I feel reactivated, rejuvenated, every 'ated' you can
come up with. To use the vernacular, I also feel well fucked."

John laughed loudly. "You know that it was my pleasure." He paused and
grinned. "Paul you really are a special man. It was my privilege. Now
practical matters. I suspect that you need a shower." He smiled and wiggled
his eyebrows. "I shall make the coffee and put out some of the things I
bought for breakfast. Yes I was expecting you for breakfast. Well,
hoping. Then while you have your coffee, thinking back to last night I
think that I might need a shower. Actually, I can still feel you in me."
Again the smile and the eyebrows.

John got up. They could still see the glistening on his flaccid penis. "You
are a very hot man, John."

Breakfast was a delight. There was no embarrassment and no hesitation in
the banter. They discussed their reactions to the same situation. John's
experience and reaction with Robert and Graham was very similar to Paul's
reaction to what had happened with John.

"I have come to know a small group of guys our age and with our
interests. We meet for drinks, dinners, play cards, workouts, ride our
bikes etc. We help each other out in many ways. We don't do the helping out
in groups. Individuals find others who are compatible. Interested?"

"Yes. Anyone ever dropped out of the group?"

"Yes, for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes we are active; sometimes less
active. It is pretty loose."

That led to his first break with his past. They used a different gym and so
it was agreed that Paul would go on Tuesday as a guest with John for a
workout and see what he thought. He joined. He made his first break with
his past. He ended up leaving the club at which he had met Brian.


Author's Note

There are 3 more chapters in various stages. They will be published over
the next weeks. Hope you enjoyed the start. I am making the chapters a
little shorter than several of my other stories.

Comments			mailto:preecherdave@gmail.com


If you liked this story, you might want to read the others that I have
published on Nifty. In particular, Unexpected Change has had the most
positive comments; one of my favourites is Getting My Act Together. What a
Difference a Year Makes has taken me by surprise with the number of
positive and constructive comment. Thanks to all who have commented.

Unexpected Change, Nifty, College, April 16, 2011
Friendship, Nifty, Adult Friends, May 20, 2011
Surprising Last Year at University, Nifty, College, June 9, 2011
Murder Changed My Life, Nifty, Beginnings, July 8, 2011
What is Love?, Nifty, Beginnings, August 31, 2011
Getting My Act Together, Nifty, Adult-Friends, November 10, 2011
Surprised, Nifty, Adult-Friends, January 14, 2012
Surprised Eric and Dave, Beginnings, February 10, 2012
Surprised Graham and Robert, Nifty, Adult-Friends, March 22, 2012
What a Difference a Year Makes, Nifty, Adult-Friends, May 17, 2012