Date: Fri, 26 Jan 2007 13:58:03 -0800 (PST)
From: Mickey S <njmcmick@yahoo.com>
Subject: Wrong Turn, Chapter 14

If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include
sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story,
please leave. This is a fictional story that takes place in a world where
everything is safe. In the real world where many things are not, the
characters would take precautions. Please respect yourself and others
enough to always play safe.

If you have read any of my previous stories you will know that I tend to be
a romantic with a bent toward happy endings. This story starts out as a
potential romance but is one that takes a wrong turn, or so it seems. And
as for the ending, you'll just have to read on. The author retains all
rights.  No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the
author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.

Chapter 14

All the way home from Syracuse I couldn't stop thinking about the all too
brief conversation Carlos and I had had after his stunning admission that
his feelings for me involved more than sex, fun and domination. He was
obviously still grappling with his feelings and hadn't come to Syracuse
prepared to talk about them. I on the other hand had realized quite some
time earlier that I was falling in love with him but had pushed that idea
to the back of my mind because I couldn't see how anything could come of
it. Aside from telling him that I was thrilled by his news because I also
felt strongly for him, I didn't know what else to say. Neither of us could
envision a life with the other, especially given our starting point. We had
spent more time just holding each other than talking, grateful that we'd
shared our feelings, and parted determined to think about our lives and try
to figure out a way to work things out together.

That was easier said than done. Anne again spent a good part of the trip on
the phone which allowed me to think. For the first time I let myself try to
think about a future with Carlos. Of course, that meant a future without
Anne. My entire life I'd planned for the kind of life I had with her. It
had been a given for me, a life that really didn't require much
thought. College, marriage, a career with financial and social
success. Anne had fit right in with that. While we didn't have specific
plans for children we had both always assumed that would happen when the
time was right. But a life with Carlos^Å That would be so totally different
in every way. I couldn't even imagine it.

And how would I even begin? A divorce would certainly be the first
step. How would others react to that? My parents, friends, coworkers? My
parents' opinions mattered a lot to me. They had accepted Anne into the
family, but she was definitely their daughter-in-law, not the daughter they
never had and I knew they wouldn't be crushed if I decided my marriage to
her wasn't working. As far as friends went, did I actually have any of my
own, anyway? Since Anne was in charge of our social life she was the
contact person who initiated our friendships. Only recently had I begun to
think of Matt and Sara as my friends, and that was mainly because of our
secret sexual relationship. My association with my coworkers was strictly
business and while the right wife could help my career, a divorce wouldn't
necessarily hurt it. So divorce wasn't out of the question there.

But while shedding Anne from my life wouldn't cause me problems, adding
Carlos to it certainly would. No one who knew me even suspected I might be
anything but heterosexual. A new partner who was male would definitely
shake people up. One who was male, black and Puerto Rican would have quite
an impact. Maybe my parents would understand and accept. I knew they'd try
but I wasn't sure how well they'd succeed. I wasn't sure about Todd. He'd
surprised me by being pretty accepting about the whole affair concept, but
even he was convinced it was with a 'babe.' I wanted to believe that having
a gay relationship wouldn't hurt me at work but if the affair was with a
guy in the mailroom it might.

There was also Anne to think about. In spite of our differences and the way
she'd gotten on my nerves recently, I was fond of her. She'd been a huge
part of my life since college and we were partners. While our life wasn't
my idea of perfection and wasn't exciting, it had been comfortable for the
most part. It was what Anne wanted and to take it away from her would be
cruel on my part. Of course staying with her for that reason would be wrong
for both of us. But if I was going to tear her world apart, I had to be
sure.

And none of that took into account how I would deal with all of that. In
all my life I'd never given a moment's thought to coming out. Was I ready
to do that, to tell the world I was gay, or bi at least? It was clear to me
that I had a lot of thinking to do. So did Carlos. He had no problem being
out. Apparently everyone in his life knew he was gay even though his family
wasn't accepting. But at twenty-three he wasn't in any hurry to settle
down. As he'd so often told me, he wanted to try everything in
life. Falling in love just wasn't in his plans, at least not for a long
time.

So our exchange of feelings in the hotel room Sunday morning ended not with
any decisions about where to go next, but with the hope that somehow we'd
figure it all out. In the meantime we would just go on the way we had,
hoping some answers would come to us. For the next two weeks we did just
that, keeping our Thursday afternoon schedule with only one change - after
a drink or two at Rick's we went to a small hotel a few blocks away for our
roll in the hay.

Most of the social engagements Anne and I had over that time were holiday
parties, including a couple connected to my office, but toward the middle
of December Anne told me about a Friday night gallery show in Soho we were
going to.

"I'll ride into the city with Matt and Sara. You can meet us at the
restaurant after work. Chaz will be joining us as well."

Oh well, at least I'd enjoy having Matt and Sara along.

"And what kind of show is this going to be? Something with a holiday
theme?"

"Hardly. It's erotic photography. Some artist named Alan Anderson. I never
heard of him."

"Erotic photography doesn't sound like your kind of thing, dear."

"Well, to be honest I have no idea how I got on the mailing list for it but
Sara knew about it and said she'd heard he's good. Definitely art, not
porn, but just as definitely erotic. I figure it will be a change of pace
if nothing else."

After work on Friday I took the subway to West Fourth St. and walked to one
of our favorite restaurants. Anne, Matt and Sara were already there. We
were all having a drink when Chaz arrived. I usually didn't enjoy his
company but together with Matt and Sara and with the help of a couple of
drinks and good food it was a tolerable meal. We walked the eight blocks to
the gallery through a cool, crisp December evening.

The gallery wasn't all that large. It was two adjoining storefronts, each
with a front and rear room. There was no coatroom so we took off our coats
and carried them over our arms. A scantily clad young woman greeted us and
handed out programs. I folded mine and stuck it in my coat.

"That's the photographer over there. He'll be happy to answer any questions
you might have." She pointed across the room to a tall slim blond man. I
recognized him immediately as Spike, the photographer from the master-slave
contest. I pulled the program out and looked at it. Sure enough, he was on
the cover as Alan "Spike" Anderson. While the contest had been several
months before and I was sure there was no way he'd remember me, much less
recognize me in my business drag, I decided to stay as far from him as
possible all evening.

As we began inching our way through the gallery, following the crowd, a
waiter passed with a tray of champagne glasses and we helped ourselves. The
outer walls as well as temporary partitions were covered with white panels
that were maybe five feet by five feet. Each panel had nine photographs in
a series. The pictures in the first room were mainly black and white nudes,
some solos, some pairs or more. There were all kinds of subjects of every
age, size, race and gender. He was a good photographer and while the
subjects were all nude, I didn't find it especially erotic.

The next room had several series of pictures that looked like something out
of a Victoria's Secret catalogue although the photography was better and
the poses more provocative. Lots of sexy underwear and nightclothes,
featuring both men and women. Considering where I'd met Spike, I was
surprised that the scenes were almost entirely heterosexual. There were two
female couples featured and one trio consisting of two men and a woman, but
other than that it was all straight couples.

The third room contained pictures that were obviously meant to be erotic
and many were. The poses were more provocative, the men were generally
somewhat aroused and some of the women had looks of impending orgasm on
their faces. There was also a lot more body contact in most of the
series. But with what I had seen and experienced the past several months, I
found it all quite tame. Matt and Sara enjoyed this room but Chaz and Anne
seemed mildly offended by some photos and bored with others.

The exhibits in the last room were more like what I expected from
Spike. The first series featured a dominatrix that reminded me of the S&M
porn video I'd seen in college. There were others with strange outfits, one
with cross-dressing, one with sex toys. No sex, but lots implied, and all
kinky. Matt and Sara were closely examining each photo but Anne had a sour
look on her face like she'd eaten something bad. Then we turned a corner
and I saw the first picture in another series and my heart stopped.

It was Carlos, in his harness, chaps and codpiece, with me a step behind
and to the side of him wearing only nipple rings and the pouch, my head
slightly bowed and my hands behind my back. Carlos was holding the leash
that was attached to my collar. There followed eight more pictures of us
from the contest, each one worse than the one before. Me bent down in front
of Carlos licking his boot, kneeling kissing his codpiece, behind him
kissing his black ass, standing leaning in to him with my tongue touching
his nipple. The last two were the worst because I was totally naked in them
and he wasn't wearing the codpiece. There wasn't a picture of me sucking
him or even the one with his dick head on my tongue, but a photo of his
dick inches from my eyes, a look of hunger on my face, said it all.

Anne had gasped at the first picture and put her hand to her mouth, but
continued down the line, inspecting each photo. When she got to the last
one she turned to me with fire in her eyes. She brought her hand back and
slapped my face so hard she nearly spun me around, then turned and stormed
out of the room without a word. Chaz gave me a look of disgust and hurried
after her.

I was too stunned to move. My brain was functioning, but barely. I knew
that I had to go after her, that I had to explain. But what explanation
could there be? There was no lie I could make up that would make those
photos look innocent. At least nothing came to mind. I was screwed, plain
and simple. Anne had found out everything and in the worst possible way and
there was nothing I could do about it. But I had to try. I pulled myself
together and started for the door, with Matt and Sara trailing
behind. People were staring at me, wondering what they'd missed. To them
Anne's slap had come out of the blue and then she'd run off without any
kind of explanation.

When I got out onto the sidewalk I looked both ways but there was no sign
of either Anne or Chaz. They only had about a minute head start but that
was enough to disappear.

"Fuck! Where could she have gone?"

"Relax, Ryan." Matt put an arm around my shoulder. "She rode into the city
with us so she doesn't have a car here. I'm guessing Chaz took her
someplace where she could have a drink and calm down. Which is just what
you should do right now."

"But I've got to talk to her!"

"Not tonight, you don't. I can't imagine that you could have anything to
say that would make a difference right now anyhow. You can talk tomorrow
after you've both had a chance to settle down. Now let's have that drink,
shall we?"

We found a bar around the corner and sat at a table in the back. I ordered
a strong Absolut and tonic while Sara asked for wine and Matt had a mineral
water.

"So do you want to talk about it, Ryan?"

"No I don't, Matt. I'm sorry but I just can't right now."

"That's okay. But I think maybe you'd better come home with Sara and me
tonight. Anne probably wouldn't let you in the house anyway."

"Thanks, Matt. I just can't think."

I sat in the backseat of their car and didn't say a word all the way
home. Those pictures kept flashing through my head. I tried to think of
something that would explain them to Anne, something innocent, but I didn't
have Carlos' talent for lying. Maybe I could call him in the morning and
see what he could come up with.

I tossed and turned most of the night, not getting much sleep. That last
picture, the look in my eyes as I gazed at Carlos' cock, had shocked me. It
shouldn't have because hunger was exactly what I felt for him, but I didn't
realize it was so obvious. I wondered if I looked like that all of the time
I was around him. Probably not or everyone at work would suspect
something. Although Anne had taken an instant dislike to him and that might
explain it. I dozed off and on as I wondered what I was going to do. By
morning I had come up with a story to tell Anne and decided to try it out
on Matt and Sara over breakfast.

Matt and Sara just made small talk and didn't pry as they fixed the meal
but once we sat down to eat Matt asked me about the pictures.

"Even knowing about you and Carlos and having done all kinds of fun things
with you, those pictures were quite a surprise, Ryan. How did they come
about?"

I explained about the master-slave contest, trying to make it sound like a
whimsical night out. They had to realize from the way Carlos had talked and
directed me that he was more than a little dominating in our relationship
but I didn't want them to know the full extent of it.

"I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with an explanation for
Anne. I mean, nothing is going to make the pictures look innocent. They are
what they are. But I think I have something that will make them look less
like Carlos and I are having an affair, and a kinky one at that. I was
thinking I could tell her that Spike is a friend of Carlos and one night
after lots of drinking we agreed to model for him as a lark. I could say he
dressed us up and told us how to pose. That would at least take the sexual
aspect away from it."

"I don't know, sweetheart," Sara said. "You didn't look drunk in those
pictures. In that last one you definitely looked sexually obsessed. And
don't forget those nipple rings. You said Anne didn't know about the
piercing."

"Yeah, that would have involved prior planning. Besides, that story doesn't
mesh with what's in the program." Matt slid the program from the night
before across the table to me. I hadn't even looked at mine.

I opened it and saw that for each series of pictures Spike had written a
one or two sentence description. I scanned down the list to Exhibit 24,
Carlos and His Slave. 'While this couple may have only placed third in the
S&M contest I photographed, they definitely took the best pictures.'

"Fuck! There's no getting around that." I thought for a minute. "Maybe I
can just tell Anne that the whole thing was done as a joke, maybe on a dare
or something."

"She might buy that but she'd still be plenty pissed, and rightly so
considering how humiliating that must have been for her." Matt shook his
head. "I just can't believe you'd be so careless. First to allow pictures
to be taken and authorize their release, but especially to let Anne go to
that guy's show. It's almost like you subconsciously wanted to be found
out."

"I never knew Spike's real name so I didn't know it was his show. And the
limited release I signed would never have covered something like last
night."

"Well, if he put up those pictures without your okay we can take legal
action against him but that isn't going to help you with Anne."

"I'm just gonna have to call her and beg her forgiveness. Make it out to be
an innocent but incredibly stupid bit of fun."

I went to the guest room and called home but got the answering machine. I
left a sniveling, groveling message and then tried calling Anne's cell
phone. I got her voice mail but didn't leave a message on that. Matt drove
me to the train station to pick up my car and I headed home with much
trepidation.

I was relieved to find Anne wasn't there. The light was blinking on the
answering machine, of course. I decided to play back my message to see if
it was appropriately contrite. I was surprised to find the only message was
from Anne. She must have called in to retrieve mine. Her voice was icy.

"Ryan, I'm not in the mood to listen to any excuses. I can't even think
about the horror of last night, much less talk about it. I need some time
and don't want to see you right now. We were supposed to leave for my
parents' on Thursday but I'm going early, probably Monday. You can forget
about going. I want you to stay away from me and the house until
then. We'll talk when I get back."

I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to confront her for a
while. We'd planned on coming home a couple of days after Christmas but
that was due to my job. She'd probably stay longer now which didn't help
matters any but would give me some breathing room. Maybe she'd be less
upset after she'd had time to calm down. Or maybe if she talked to her
parents about it things would be ten times worse. At any rate, I had to
make plans for the rest of the weekend.

I debated as to whether to call Matt. He would understand and take me in
with no problem but I wasn't sure I wanted to have to talk about what had
happened any more. The other option was Carlos. I really needed to talk to
him but again, I just didn't want to think about it. Maybe if he'd had his
own place I would have called, but with Jose at the apartment there was no
point. The hotel where we'd spent the past couple of Thursdays was clean
though shabby but I just couldn't imagine spending a couple of nights
there. So in the end I tossed a few things for the weekend in a bag, put
together an outfit to wear to work on Monday and drove to a motel near the
train station, stopping at a liquor store for some vodka to anesthetize
myself. I planned on spending the weekend in my room, drinking and feeling
sorry for myself, but by two in the afternoon I'd had enough and called
Carlos.

"Hey, babe, I didn't expect to hear from you over the weekend. Wassup?"

I told him about the scene at the gallery the night before.

"Fuck! Where are you now, man?"

"At a motel in Middletown."

"I'm coming down as soon as I can get on a train. I'll call you when I get
to the station."

As soon as I got Carlos into the motel room we stripped and tumbled into
bed. It wasn't so much that I was horny; I just desperately needed
comforting. I would have been very happy to have just cuddled for hours on
end but once our naked bodies were together we of course went much further
than that. After nearly an hour of extremely physical sex I practically
passed out.  I awoke to the smell of a pizza that Carlos had had delivered
to the room. We ate, cuddled for a while and then went back to sleep.

We were up early on Sunday, having slept ourselves out. I felt much better
but still had no idea what I was going to do. Carlos suggested a workout at
the gym so we spent a good part of the morning there, working off
stress. Afterwards, we changed back at the motel and went to our favorite
restaurant in Asbury Park for brunch. We'd both avoided talking about Anne
and my problems up until then, but I was finally together enough to try to
deal with it all.

"You know, it's funny, but right from the minute it happened at the
gallery, my instinctive reaction was to try to come up with some kind of
excuse to give Anne that would make the whole situation seem more innocent,
to make it okay, to somehow get past it and go on like before. But as soon
as I saw you yesterday, I realized that wasn't what I wanted. I don't like
that I've hurt Anne, but given what is going on with us, something was
bound to happen sooner or later. With all that I've learned about myself in
the last six months, there was no real future in my marriage anyway. So now
I have to deal with it."

"You're thinking about divorce?"

"Well, I don't know what Anne is thinking, but I can't see her forgiving me
at this point. And why should I want to be forgiven? I shouldn't have
cheated on her and I'm sorry I hurt her, but I don't want to go back to a
monogamous life with her either. I'm going to offer her a divorce and see
what she says."

Carlos didn't say anything for a minute and just toyed with his food. "I
hope you're not doing this for me, Ry. I have very stronger feelings for
you, maybe even love, though I'm not really sure what that feels like, but
like I said in Syracuse, these feelings have taken me by surprise. I just
don't know how to deal with them which is why I don't want you turning your
whole life upside down for me."

"I know, Carlos. I don't want to put any pressure on you over this. It's
something I have to deal with, something inside me, something between Anne
and me. Sure, what you and I have experienced together and what I feel for
you has changed me, but it's still my life that I have to figure out."

"I want to be there for you, babe, and to be honest I don't think I could
handle it if you weren't in my life right now, but I'm just not ready to
make a commitment."

"That's okay, I'm not asking for one just yet. I've reached a point where I
know the kind of life I've had with Anne isn't what I want, so it isn't
fair to me or her to go on like this." I smiled at him. "Don't worry, I'm
not gonna ask you to marry me the minute the divorce is final. I think I'm
gonna need some time to adjust to things, too."

"What we've got is really good, Ry, and I hope we can have more, but it's
probably good for both of us to go slow."

The waiter cleared our plates and took our dessert orders, then brought us
another round of drinks. He'd been good about leaving us alone, probably
sensing the serious nature of our conversation.

"So, Ry," Carlos smiled, "how about taking me to see our pictures at the
gallery this week? I'd really love to see them."

"Don't hold your breath. When I told Matt I hadn't signed a release for
them to be shown he said he was going to call the gallery immediately and
threaten them with a lawsuit. I'm sure they've taken them down by now. Of
course, the damage is already done."

"I just can't believe that guy Spike or the gallery would have put them up
based on those limited releases we each signed. They were pretty
worthless."

"I know, I read it carefully. It sure wouldn't cover them for a public show
like that."

"Spike said he was going to send me full releases in case we changed our
minds but he never did. I would have just thrown them out anyway, 'cause
neither one of us wanted those pictures to go public."

"Well, what's done is done, Carlos. I wasn't ready for it but maybe he did
me a favor, making me face what I was going to have to in the near future
anyway. Not that I think I'll ever feel like thanking him for it."

Carlos spent the night again on Sunday and took the train into the city
with me in the morning. He had to swing by his place to get ready for work
so I was in the office very early and had a lot of work done before the
rest of the staff showed up. The way the weekend had started I wasn't even
sure I'd be able to physically or mentally function by Monday, but the time
spent with Carlos had made me feel like this was a fresh start, not a
tragic ending.

Matt called just before lunch to see how I was doing. On Saturday I'd told
him about Anne's phone message but that was the last time I'd talked to
him.

"I've decided not to try to make excuses to Anne, not to try to make her
think it was some bizarre fluke or joke. I'm not going to lie to her. When
I do have a chance to talk to her I'm going to suggest a divorce."

Matt was silent for a few seconds. "So you think Carlos is the one?" he
asked gently.

"Well, yes, I do, actually, but this is more about me finally realizing
that Anne is not the one. With Anne I was trying to do what I thought I was
supposed to do. That wasn't fair to either of us. Now it's time for me to
do what I want to do, what's right for me. Time for me to be an honest man,
however that turns out."

"Have you told Carlos about this?"

"Yes, he spent most of the weekend with me. We're both trying to take this
one step at a time. So it looks like I'm going to need a lawyer. Are you
any good at divorces?"

He laughed. "I've handled one or two. Hundred, that is. I think I can take
care of you, buddy. And speaking of legal things, I called the gallery and
reamed them out over not having authorization to exhibit your
pictures. They insisted they have a copy of your signed release on file."

"That's the limited release I told you about. Private showings only. It's
very specific."

"No, they said the one they have is a complete blanket release. No
limitations or restrictions. The photographer has the original, which they
saw, and they have a copy. They have one for you and one for Carlos."

"No way! I only signed the limited one and so did Carlos. We never even saw
the other ones."

"Well, someone signed them for you then. We're going to have to get a look
at them."

To be continued.