You Don't Want To Know

By Mickey S

Chapter Four

After locking up the store Steve and I stopped at the Thai restaurant down the block and picked up take-out for dinner. I continued my story as Steve and I ate at home.

* * * * *  

By the beginning of my sophomore year I was enjoying my split life. For the most part I was having a pretty normal time in college, for a closeted, asexual-appearing student anyway. I enjoyed my classes and was involved in several theatrical productions. Socially, I had made a few friends who I hung out with, but I didn't date. That was mainly because, although I wasn't ready to come out, I couldn't bring myself to fake it with a girl either. I didn't want to deceive anyone so I just acted like I wasn't interested in dating. Of course, that didn't stop my friends from fixing me up now and then although I usually ended up making friends with the girls they set me up with. Looking back I realize my friends had probably figured out that I was gay - theater major, not interested in dating, making friends with girls - but at that point I had no idea I was that obvious.  

All of my need for sex and affection I poured into my Tuesday afternoons with Richie. There wasn't really any affection but there was companionship of a sort. We grew more comfortable with each other although I was still careful what I said and did around him. I made sure I arranged my class schedule each semester so I'd have Tuesday afternoons off. I didn't want Richie to have to change his routine for me. While he didn't open up completely with me, I think enjoyed my company beyond the sex. He was very personable and could be charming when he tried. He also loved to tell amusing stories about what he called 'his associates.' I could tell he was carefully editing some of his stories but I still enjoyed them.

The week before Thanksgiving as we were getting undressed in the motel I got up the nerve to ask him if we could make a change in our fucking style.

"Do you think that maybe we could, um, try it a little differently for a change?"

"Different? What do you mean?"

"I was wondering if we could try it with me on my back. You obviously get off on what we're doing but I'd like to see the expression on your face when you fuck me."

He thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, sure, why not? As long as you realize we're not 'making love' here. It's fucking, pure and simple."

"Of course, I know that. Maybe it's a little egotistic, but I just want to watch you get off on me."

"Nothing wrong with that. You're a good fuck and you should be proud of it."

I wasn't sure being 'a good fuck' was something to be proud of but I was pleased that Richie clearly enjoyed me and was open to my suggestion. As soon as we got into position I realized something else that was different about doing it with me on my back. For the first time, we were in bed together. In over a year of doing it doggie-style, I had always knelt near the edge of the bed, my rump in the air, and Richie stood while he fucked me. I supposed that we would still do it that way, only with me flipped over, but instead he positioned me in the middle of the bed with my head on the pillow and knelt between my legs. I spread my legs and bent my knees up to give him access to my hole. He applied lube to both my anus and his dick and used one hand to finger fuck me while he stroked himself with the other. From the look of his hard, massive tool he wasn't turned off by the sight of my balls hanging low toward my stretched pucker or my hard, oozing cock hovering an inch or so over my belly.

He pressed my knees to my chest and scooted forward until his mushroom head was against my eager hole. He pushed gently, prying me open, carefully stretching me for the invasion of that enormous rod. I kept my eyes on his face as he sank deeper and deeper into me. His eyes were glued to his disappearing cock but it was fascinating to see a wave of relaxation pass through him as he entered me. It was as if his entire face was sighing with pleasure. Once he was completely inside me he shifted position a bit, putting my legs over his shoulders and then began to slowly fuck me. At first he was slow and gentle and he still kept his eyes on my ass, watching his dick piston in and out of me. But that meant he was also watching my dick, smacking against my abdomen with each thrust, so as he picked up speed he looked up into my eyes.

I gasped as our eyes linked and I saw the fire in his. It was frightening and a total turn-on at the same time, seeing how into it, into me, he was. For the rest of the hard, driving fuck, he didn't take his eyes off mine, not even when his entire body tensed up, signaling the onset of his orgasm. As he exploded inside me his eyes opened wider and I felt my balls pull up and I shot stream after stream of cum all over my chest and belly. Once his orgasm was over he pulled out of me and rolled off to one side to catch his breath. After a minute he got up and went into the bathroom to clean up, coming back with a damp towel for me to use.

Then I discovered another improvement in our new position. Usually as soon as the sex was over and we had cleaned ourselves up, he started getting dressed to leave. This time he lay down on the bed next to me and rested a while. We didn't touch, but compared to the aftermath I was used to it was almost as good as cuddling.

For the next couple of months this became our new routine. Occasionally, one or the other of us would doze off for a few minutes after our strenuous workout. One afternoon in February, he appeared to be sleeping and I lay on my side, watching him. His smooth, hard, muscular body was so hot. I stared at his nipples, standing up like pencil erasers. I carefully reached over and touched one with the tip of my finger. Richie's eyes flew open as his head turned to me. I jerked my hand back and my whole body seemed to jump back an inch or two. Richie frowned at first but then his expression changed to a smile. He turned on his side and leaned on his elbow, propping his head up with his hand.

"You're still afraid of me, aren't you, Tommy boy?" He sighed.

"No! I mean, well, maybe a little. I know I was doing something I shouldn't, touching you like that. It's just that you looked so perfect lying there, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I never said you couldn't touch me. Having a hand caress me, play with my nipples, dick or balls, feels as good to me as it does to you. There's no reason why you shouldn't touch me."

"But you're not gay like I am. I thought you didn't want to get into things like that."

"No, I'm not gay like you are, but that doesn't mean I'm not into you. I like you a lot, kid, and not just your company or your hot ass. Everything about you appeals to me and that includes your body. Like I said before, I'm not usually into guys but I'm definitely into you."

Richie then shocked the hell out of me by leaning over and kissing me very lightly on the lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just a chaste, closed-lips one, but it was a kiss nonetheless. He sat up and lightly slapped the side of my hip.

"Time to get going, Tommy boy. I've got work to do and I'm sure you've got studying." He looked down into my eyes and got serious for a minute. "I hope you'll stop being so afraid of me. I know I come across as a tough guy, and I am, but I'd never hurt you. Believe that."

Over the next few weeks our fucking rapidly evolved into lovemaking. The chaste kisses became openmouthed, tongue wrestling ones. We were all over each other's bodies. He still avoided my dick and I made sure to keep my hands away from his asshole, but other than that it was anything goes and totally mutual. I was having the time of my life and so was he, apparently. As much as I'd enjoyed the mechanical fucking we'd done for so long, it was amazing how much better it was when passion and personalities were involved.  
Near the end of the school year I got some bad news from home. The hospital was having a financial crunch and wasn't taking on summer help that year. While I had some money in my savings account and my parents were helping me with school as much as they could, I still had two years to go and needed a summer job.  The hospital job was the only one I'd ever had so I had no idea where to begin to look for another one. I mentioned it to Richie the next time we got together and asked him if he had any ideas. I'd finally relaxed with him to the point where I could talk to him like a friend. He asked me about my financial situation and plans.

"Are you going to live in the dorm again next year?"

"Probably. I don't see any other options. My friends who have paired off into couples are shacking up in off-campus housing and most of my unattached friends have joined fraternities. I'm feeling a bit alone on campus right now but that's my only choice."

"Well, as far jobs go I have lots of connections. Most of them you wouldn't want to know about and I wouldn't want to get you involved in, but I'm sure I can come up with something. Give me some time to think it over."

"I wasn't expecting you to find me a job, just maybe give me some ideas on where to look."

"No problem, kid, I'm happy to have a chance to help you."

The next week after sex we lay in bed talking and Richie brought up the subject.

"Would you have any problem getting to a job in Morristown? I know you don't have a car."

"It's only ten miles from home. I'm pretty sure there's a bus I could take. I don't know the schedule but I could find out. What kind of job?"

"I occasionally do business with a guy who has a secondhand store there. He's getting too old to do any heavy work himself and needs a hand with other things around the shop as well. He's looking for someone he can trust who won't ask questions."

"What kind of questions? I'd have to ask him what to do."

Richie thought for a few seconds and seemed to come to a decision. "Okay, the nature of the business is this. People bring Sol used goods. He buys them, maybe cleans them up a bit and then he sells them in the store. Sometimes if he thinks it's something that won't move at his shop he sells it to a place in the city. Now when somebody brings in a table or a lamp or a watch or a television, they don't have a deed to it proving it's theirs to sell. Sol just has to take their word for it."

"You mean he's a fence?" I didn't mean to blurt that out and bit my lip as soon as I had.

"Now that's an example of the kind of question you're not supposed to ask, Tom. I'll just say this. The cops know Sol's business can be a bit tricky so they keep an eye on him. He gets a list of stolen goods from the cops every week so he doesn't buy anything he knows is hot. That way he doesn't get caught with stolen merchandise, or at least stuff the cops are aware of. That's the best he can do to stay clean. He doesn't ask a lot of questions and neither should you if you work for him."

"I'm not sure. It all sounds pretty shady to me."

"It's a legit business, kid. Sol does what he can to stay clean. I'm sure some of what he buys and sells is hot but if no one knows, what can he do about it? He's not a mind reader. Besides, if there's ever any trouble, it's Sol's hide, not yours. He's a good man and he'd treat you well. It's your call though."

I thought about it as he drove me back to campus. I was nervous about taking a job that might be connected to illegal activity but I didn't want to say no to Richie. We were getting along better than ever and it was the first time I'd asked him for help of any kind. I didn't know how he'd react if I turned down the job. Even so, I didn't know what to do.

"Look, kid, I know you're afraid I'm getting you involved in something you don't want to be involved in. In the nearly two years we've known each other I've been very careful not to even mention some of my activities to you because they have nothing to do with you and me. I know you're a good, decent guy and I don't want you mixed up in anything underhanded. I wouldn't have suggested this job to you if I thought there could be any trouble attached to it. You're clean and I want you to stay that way."

That decided it for me. He was right. Whatever shady business he was involved in, he'd never get me mixed up in it. Maybe it was because he cared about me; maybe it was because he didn't want his 'associates' to know about me. Either way, I would be okay, so I told him I'd meet with this guy Sol to talk about the job.  

I went home for the weekend and met with Sol Abrams at his shop on Saturday. It wasn't a very big place but it was crammed full of stuff. The storeroom in the back was even more packed. Sol himself had to be 75. He was short and chubby, bald on top with wisps of white hair sticking out from the sides of his head. He seemed to be a sweet old man and I was at ease as he showed me around. I decided there was no way he could be involved with the underworld. He explained what I'd be doing and how much he would pay as we went through the store.

"So you're Dick's cousin? You don't look Italian." That was the cover story Richie had come up with, explaining who I was, but he hadn't told me Sol knew him as Dick.

"Second cousin. I'm only a quarter Italian. The rest is WASP."

"Well, Dick's always been a friend to me. If you want the job, it's yours."

"I wasn't sure when he first told me about it but it sounds like a pretty good summer job."

"Summer? I told Dick I needed someone year-round. Part-time would be okay, but for more than just the summer."

"But I'm going to school in New Brunswick. I could probably handle a part-time job during the school year but not this far away."

Sol frowned. "Well, I suppose you can work the summer and then maybe we can figure something out. I haven't got anybody else and the summer is better than nothing. I don't understand what Dick's thinking, though. I thought I made myself clear."

I wondered what Richie had in mind myself. He had already asked me about my probable living arrangements for the next year and knew I didn't have a car. Why would he set me up with a year-round job over thirty miles from campus? I had to wait until Tuesday afternoon to ask him and I brought it up as soon as I got in the car.

"I know, kid. I talked to Sol already. I probably should have said something to you first but I wanted you to meet him and see the store. I was thinking that maybe I could get you a place in Morristown. You could commute to school and work at the store during the year. You sounded like you weren't in love with the idea of another year in the dorm."

"I'm not, but I can't afford a place of my own and I can't commute without a car."

"Don't worry about what a place would cost. I'll take care of that. And for what the dorm would cost for the year you could buy a decent used car. The job with Sol would cover gas and insurance."

"You mean I'll be your kept boy in a love nest you're paying for?"

"Don't look at it that way." He scowled at me. "I've got plenty of money so it's no big deal. Besides, I'm already paying for the motel every week and you haven't been complaining about that."

He was right. I hadn't given that a second thought. He'd made all the decisions and arrangements right from the start and I'd taken it all for granted.

"So what's in it for you, aside from more control over me?"

"I don't want to control you, baby, just spend more time with you. If you were living up there I could see you a couple of times a week. And a place like that could be a nice escape for me, a getaway no one knows about."

"And what do I tell my parents? How do I explain why I'd want to live so far from campus and how I found a rent-free apartment?"

"It depends on what kind of place we find. If it's a studio apartment you can pretend you're making enough at the store to pay the rent yourself. If it's larger, which I'd prefer if it's also going to be my getaway, we can come up with a story for them, like it was my place and I travel a lot so you're just there to keep an eye on things."

"You mean that you'd meet my parents?" I was horrified at the idea of the gangster who was fucking me meeting them.

"It might work out that way." He grinned at me. "Don't worry, I'd be on my best behavior."

"Well, I don't have to make a decision on the dorm until the end of June. I'll start work at Sol's as soon as finals are over and think about it." I smiled. "So what's with Sol calling you Dick?"

"It's my name. I told you that most of my friends and associates call me that, though many of them call me Big Dick. I can't imagine why."

I rolled my eyes. "Neither can I, but if I think about it a while I might come up with an idea."

"You just think about your classes and exams and I'll start looking around for a place for us."

Us? How strange was that? For over a year we'd been impersonal sex partners, with very one-sided sex at that. Then we started to become friends and Richie gradually warmed up to me physically. Only for the last couple of months were we having passionate sex and even at that I couldn't think of us as a couple. But all of a sudden there he was talking about a place for the two of us.

We didn't talk about it any more until the semester was over. I was back home with my parents, commuting by bus to Sol's store for about a week when Richie picked me up at our old meeting place behind the supermarket to go to the local motel. Instead, he went right past it and headed for Morristown.

"What's up? Where are we going?"

"I found the perfect place for us, babe. A condo, actually a townhouse. It's on the edge of town with easy access to the interstate for your commute."

"Whoa! A townhouse? Are you nuts? I thought we were talking about a studio apartment."

"I know, it's not what we were thinking of, but keep an open mind until after you've seen it. I know you're just gonna love it."

For the next ten minutes we rode in silence. As we came into town Richie pulled into a new townhouse community right alongside the highway. As he parked the car a middle-aged blonde woman got out of another car. He introduced her as Barbara McGill, a real estate agent. She unlocked the door of a townhouse and stood aside to let us go in first. As she gave us a tour of the place she spoke mostly to Richie. I was totally dumbfounded. The condo was brand new, spotless and huge, with wall-to-wall carpeting throughout. Downstairs was a living room, dining room, kitchen, den and half bath. Upstairs, three bedrooms and two bathrooms. When we came back down to the living room, Richie asked me my opinion.

"It's fantastic, but you've got to be kidding. This place is nicer than my parents' house. It's huge and must cost a fortune. What do we need all this space for?"

Mrs. McGill had wandered into the dining area to give us a chance to speak privately. Even so I kept my voice down.

"It's not really too big. We each need our space, not that I'll be here as much as you. As far as the cost, it'll be a good investment."

"So what do you think, Mr. Messina?" I raised an eyebrow at the name she called Richie as she came back over to where we were standing. Do you still like the place the second time through?"

"I love it, but as I told you before, it's not going to be my place. Tom's buying it so he's the one who has to love it."

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when he said that and I'm sure my mouth dropped open, but Richie gave me a warning look so I tried to compose myself.

"You're a lot younger than I expected when Mr. Messina said he was looking for a place for a friend. Are you sure you can afford something like this?"

"Like I told you, the price is fine and he'll be paying cash," Richie interjected.

"Well, if you're sure." Mrs. McGill shrugged. "So what do you think, Mr. Webber?"  

"Um, it's really nice, but I'm not sure. I've got to think it over."

"Of course. Buying a house is a big decision. Why don't you look around a few more minutes and then take your time thinking it over. We have several units left so there's no rush."

Richie and I went back upstairs and I stopped as soon as we were alone. "What do you mean, I'm buying the place? And what's with Messina? How many names have you got?"

"Relax, Tommy boy. I can't have my name connected with this place in any way, so your name has to go on the deed. I don't even want anyone to know who I am here but don't worry, I'm putting up the cash. You're just the front man."

"I don't know. It's all too much for me to handle."

"Don't worry about it. I'll buy the condo as an investment. We can both use it, you as a home, me as an escape, together as a love nest, as you called it. The only things that are important are that I think it's a good investment and you like it as a home. Do you like it? Do you think you'd be comfortable living here?"

"Sure, it's a great place. But what would I tell my parents?"

"I've got an idea for that. I'll tell you in the car on the way back."

We looked the place over for another ten minutes. It really was fantastic and I'd fallen in love with it by the time we left, but I was still a bit dazed. We said goodbye to Mrs. McGill in the parking lot, promising to call her in a few days. On the way home, Richie told me the story he'd made up for my parents.

I'd already lied to them about how I'd found the job with Sol. I said that his store supplied props and furnishings for the school theater department and I'd met him that way. It wasn't hard to believe. His shop would have made a great prop room for any theater. Richie said we could expand on that lie, saying I'd met him through Sol. He would pretend to be a very successful businessman who traveled a lot and was looking for someone to take care of his home while he was away. We could say I was keeping an eye on the place, maybe doing some cleaning and taking messages for him in lieu of paying rent.        

I thought about it for a couple of days. At first all I could think about was the condo itself, how beautiful and spacious it was. But then I started to wonder what it all meant. What kind of relationship was I getting into with Richie? What was he going to expect of me and what could I expect of him? He was a married man and sure couldn't make any kind of commitment to me. But as a closeted twenty-year old I wasn't thinking in terms of long-term relationships anyway. I was more worried that I was getting myself into something I didn't understand and wasn't ready for. I wasn't even sure how to discuss the subject with Richie but when he picked me up Thursday I tried.

"So what does all this with the condo mean, Richie?"

"Mean? I don't get you. It means a place for you to live while you go to school and work for Sol. It means a place for me to hang out, to rest, to get away from everybody. And it means no more motels for us."

"I understand that, but what does 'us' mean? You're married and bisexual at most. I'm gay and single. But we're practically going to be living together. What kind of relationship is this?"

"Relationship, that's a pretty heavy word and I don't want to get bogged down talking about it. I'm not asking you to marry me and I'm not making any kind of commitment to you. You know I can't. But I'm offering you a place to live, to share with me, where we can enjoy each other. I know you haven't been with any guy but me and I'd love to keep it that way but I can't make any promises to you so I don't expect any from you. I do ask if you're gonna be with another guy, though, I don't want to know about it."

"You know I love sex but I'm not out looking for it so that's not a problem. I just don't want to feel like I owe you too much, like you're running my life."

"Well, I kinda like the idea that you owe me, baby, but I don't think you have to worry. Between school and work you won't have that much free time and I don't have that much myself, so we're not gonna be interfering in each other's lives too much."

I knew he was right. While I still wasn't sure it was a good idea I'd decided to go ahead with it by the time he dropped me off later that evening.

* * * * *

"Jesus! I can't believe this, Tom. You had a gangster boyfriend and he bought this house for you? It was this townhouse he bought, right? All these years I've been living in a house paid for with mob money?"

Steve and I had gone into the den after dinner and were cuddling on the couch as I continued the story.

"Well, since he was buying the place as an investment for himself I didn't really care where the money came from. And I'd never seen the gangster side of him. He was just a tough guy who treated me well and was very good in bed. Of course, I knew he was involved in some way with the Mafia but he didn't talk about it and I sure wasn't going to ask, so it was pretty easy not to think about it."

"So how did you end up with the place if he bought it as an investment? I mean, he said it was going to be in your name but that was just a formality. I'm sure you wouldn't have taken advantage of that and crossed somebody like him."

"No way, but it's a long story and you've got a class in the morning. I'll continue my tale tomorrow, Steve."

To be continued.