Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2019 11:59:25 +0000 (UTC)
From: bidaddy5@aol.com
Subject: A boy's reflection................

Duthie Park; a boy half remembers

I am sure many readers have half remembered events which seem significant
in their sexual history. I have very few, but the second, which would have
been when I was about 7 is exciting and mysterious in equal measure.

We lived in Aberdeen at that time, and for some reason I was staying with
my granny in the southern suburbs, close to the River Dee. Her bungalow
stood high and looked over the river valley. A main road ran between it and
the park in question. The walk to the park was quite long, down a narrow
park between wild hedges, under the main road in a narrow tunnel, and then
the gates of the park were in front of you. My memory is that I was allowed
to go there that day on my own.

It was a large Victorian park, and it had a fantasy gothic cottage, as one
would expect.

My memory is that I slipped and fell on dog muck, and having righted
myself, stood crying in distress. A kind old man came and said he would
help to clean me up, and took me to the cottage to do so. This is where the
memory begins to merge into fantasy. I can recall vaguely that there was at
least one other man there. I remember my pants becoming wet, possibly as
they were sponged down.

Then I can feel, more than recall, that I was standing at the urinals, and
one of the men was pissing, and that he directed it at me. Perhaps that was
why my shorts were wet.

The story about falling in the dog muck seems implausible to me. The
possible story was that I went in to the cottage (innocently or not), and
that the men got me involved in sex play. The shit, which undoubtedly
featured, may in fact have been acquired during those games, perhaps
because my pants were taken off me and discarded on a shitty floor, or
perhaps they wiped my arse on my pants after they had played with it. The
wetness could have been a mixture of piss and semen and a clumsy attempt to
wipe me up.

Whatever happened, it was exciting, and as I write about it some 70 years
later, it sill brings sex adrenalin rushing through me.

Perhaps I stood there looking at the pricks around me, and even reached out
to touch. An earlier memory involves a neighbour, his two sons, and an an
air raid shelter during the war, but is much less vivid. I also have a
sexually charged memory of another air raid shelter, by this time disused,
in my school playground after school, and a school porter.

Could I in fact have been initiated into gay sex with men long before I
visited the park? Could I have been a frequent user of parks and cottages?
Certainly there were two other parks close to my Aberdeen house in the
north centre when the Duthie park incident happened. I have no memory of a
sexual encounter there despite cottages certainly being present and used..

When I eventually got home, and I seem to recall that I was late and my
granny was anxious, my mother was there too. I told the dogshit/kind man
story, but somehow they were angry with me. Did they suspect the real
story? If the wet was piss and cum they would have smelled it?

I wonder if others have similar experiences of half remembered encounters
as a child?

Also I wonder if most men who read stories involving young boys and men
identify with the boys? I certainly do, despite having been a top for most
of my gay sex life. I am a happily married bisexual