DISCLAIMER: This story contains adult content.


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"A bizarre sensation pervades a relationship of pretense. No truth seems true. A simple morning's greeting and response appear loaded with innuendo and fraught with implications. Each nicety becomes more sterile and each withdrawal more permanent."

-Maya Angelou


A Bizarre Sensation




"Mother what is he doing here?" Wednesday asked.

I could see she was bothered. I didn't understand what was going on at all. I looked over from her to the boy. He was a tall man, with a very intimidating look. He looked like he was capable of breaking someone to pieces if he wanted. He was real muscular and even through under all those clothes I could tell he had a wrestler's frame.

"I traveled the country after I graduated," Ethan explained, "Hell. I came back. Why not?"

There was so much tension between the two.

"Mom, come on," Wednesday offered. She grabbed her mother and started to take her mother down the hall.

Ms. Sania looked back, "What about my special tea?"

"I already made you some tea," Ethan stated, "It's in your room."

He shot Wednesday a look. It was such a cold look. He seemed like he was such a bitter person. What was there to be bitter about? I had no idea what was going on.

They continued to talk as they walked away. Sania seemed so helpless. I waited there and exchanged looks with this man named Ethan. He was obviously her full brother. They favored each other extremely He looked over at me and stared for a minute. Then he walked past, crossing his arms with these really dark eyes.

"Watch yourself," he stated.

I didn't say anything back.

Was it a threat? I couldn't believe this boy had just threatened me. He disappeared down the dark hall and it was almost for a minute as though he had never existed. I didn't understand what that was about, but the entire aura about this boy was freaking me out.

Wednesday had come back out and we decided to go down stairs and drink some tea on the patio. The patio was a place of extreme beauty. It was lined up with flowers and in the darkness the soft dew of rain reflected the moonlight. It illuminated the garden making for a beautiful scene. Wednesday stared out into it as though she was just as blown away by it as I was.

"He's my older brother," she stated, as though she could read into my concern, "He's did some things...some very bad things. My mother caught him. I became the heir to everything. Since then he disappeared and now he's back, since my mother is sick. I guess he's come back for the money thinking that she is gong to die...who knows..."

I cross my arms, "God, you've been with her all this time and he just comes back for the money?"

She nods, "Crazy how people are huh? He's the worse kind of person. He's a liar. He's sneaky. You can't believe a word he says..."

"The worst kind?"

"The very worst," she stated and looked away, "Oh well. Mother is just going to have to hang on. She can't give in. She'll just have to stay alive. Hey, I have another brother. Would you like to meet him?"


"Good. He's out at the pool, come on."

We walked through the beautiful garden. Wednesday had a thing about holding hands. She was so simple. I loved it actually. As we walked through the garden, we made our way to a pool.

Lights illuminated the pool making it look like an underwater paradise. I looked over at Wednesday. How could she be so humble living in such a fucking mansion.


That was when I saw someone. He was standing there, dripping wet, with a little towel in his hand that was barely enough to wipe his face. He wasn't just dripping wet...but he was naked. The water soaked down his short hair onto his face. It ran from his face to his chest. Beads of water formed all over his muscular frame.

Then there was his dick. It was beautifully shaped. I couldn't help but to stare at it. His body really was just everything. His thighs were strong and capable looking. As though he knew I was watching him, he flexed his body stretching as he wiped himself off. He turned to the side exposing an ass that was rounded, hairless and the most beautiful sight at this mansion.

"Oh...damn...company," he stated, noticing us, "Does skinny dipping offend you? I always do it. It feels so much better."

"He's a model, Vince, he's used to seeing people naked," Wednesday stated and smiled.

Wednesday led me over to him. It was so hard to believe they had an Olympic size pool in their backyard just for the sake of going skinny dipping.

As I approached him, I could feel my nerves rattling as I noticed up close how big his dick was. It tried not to look but I couldn't help it. His dick was huge. He reached his hand out for me.

"I'm Vince," he stated.

My mouth remained wide open. I didn't know how to respond. How do you respond shaking the hand of a man who was naked, beautiful and wet!

"This is Tatum," Wednesday stated, "Mind if we join you?"

"I don't have a bathing suit," I stated.

"Isn't that the point?" Wednesday stated.

She giggled her same little schoolgirl giggle and started to undress. Vince just looked at me, still naked, still wet and still having the little towel in his hand.

"Oh...sorry, you want me to look away or something?"

He handed me the little towel. I looked at it. What the hell was this going to hide? However he ended up diving in the water.

I stood there for a minute. I trusted Wednesday for seeing my body, but I got nervous about letting this boy Vince see my body. His was so much better than mine. It caused me to rush. I threw off my clothes hoping to make it into the pool before he got back to the surface from swimming underwater.

Before I knew it, I jumped into the water, butt naked, before Wednesday could even turn to see me.

That was when Wednesday tip toed into the water... "Damn its cold, hey you guys...I'll go turn up the temperature...I'll be right back."

She walked away. Fuck! I couldn't believe she was leaving me in this pool with just her brother. I turned around and looked over at him. He was looking at me. He wasn't hiding the fact that he was looking at me either.

I dipped my head into the water, trying my best to take away from the awkward moment. The water made things a little bit blurry but it really didn't hide my nude body like I thought it would. I could see my dick swinging in the water, wading just like I was. I had always loved swimming, but this was the first time I'd done it naked. It was a different feeling something better.

I came up above the water.

"Hey," he stated.

Vince had gotten closer...real close. We were at a more shallow part of the water and I ended up tip-toeing a few steps away from him. He made me nervous. He wasn't a model...but he still was so fucking attractive. He was like the boy next door...the one you always had a crush on but never said anything.

"So...how does it feel to be rich," I explained, "Your mother is the editor of vogue, Wednesday told me your father played basketball, your brother-in-law Rich..."

"Don't say that. I hate Rich Montague. He's so damn annoying," Vince told me and took a few paddles after me.

"Oh...wow...you're the first person I knew that hated Rich."

"He runs his agency like an idiot. Are you in his modeling agency?"

"No...I'm in Bella Verino."

"Oh," Vince said. He was still getting closer and closer, "I never heard of it. See, if Rich was a smart business man, he would have a model like you."
As his body, approached me and I waded away, I realized I was running out of room to wade away. God...he was so fucking sexy. His wet body moved with such grace and yet masculinity through the water. His arms separated the water with large, long swoops.

"It's not that big out on the east coast," I explained.

"Well why aren't you with Ford? You're fucking sexy as hell," he told me and suddenly as I ran out of room he continued in a lower tone, "Do you know that? God...I love how your skin looks out here. You're so damn gorgeous. You know that?"

I didn't understand what he was talking about. He advanced even more. He had gotten so close that I had to put my hand out, blocking him from coming closer to me.

"I appreciate it. It's cold in this water...maybe I should get out for a while."

As I turned around to try to climb out of the pool, I felt him behind me. He grabbed me from behind and pulled me close to him.

I could feel his dick pressed against my ass. Then he started to kiss me softly on the back of my neck. God damn...why wasn't I moving? Why didn't I just move when he grabbed me? I had to break away...somehow.

He wasn't keeping me there...not physically at least. I could easily have moved away, but everything about him felt so good.

"You're so sexy Tatum," Vince whispered in the back of my ear.

I didn't have time to question what he was saying. My hormones were raging. Vince licked the back of my ear slowly. His wet tongue went from behind the ear to the earlobe and then inside of ear. He enjoyed licking my ear. He was moaning and his dick was getting so hard that he had to move his body back a little bit.

"Oh...fuck," I stated.

The water had suddenly gotten warm as hell. I moaned as it surrounded me and his dick pressed up against my ass. Then all of a sudden his dick brushing up against my ass more, with slow yet aggressive humps. It kept missing my hole, hitting one cheek and then the other.

I couldn't stand the games he was playing. My ass was so hungry for him, but then all of a sudden when it touched my hole. All he had to do was push a little more to enter me...I pulled away.

"No, I can't. I have a boyfriend."

"I'm sorry," he said backing up, "I lost my cool...see I have something to admit. When I saw you talking to my sister at that industry party, you blew me away. I asked if she could introduce me to you one day..."

That was when I heard footsteps. It turned hoping to see Wednesday but instead it was the other brother. Ethan. He was dressed all in black as he walked to the pool.

"Ethan...you...you're back?" Vince asked.

Ethan just walked around the pool, eyeing both of us down. He crossed his arms. He seemed like a very unhappy person. His presence was heavy draining almost as though he didn't want to be around him. The sexiness of Vince or even the innocence of Wednesday I didn't mind too much but Ethan seemed to be so...negative.

Ethan sat on a lawn chair, "Oh...what? Looking for love in all the wrong places yet again huh Vince? It must be a thing with you."
"Look Ethan, me and you have no problems, I don't want to argue...I just liked him..." Vince stated.

"You...gay? Yeah right. Quit playing games boy," Ethan stated.

I moved away from both of them. Damn...there was no way of me getting out of the pool without Ethan and Vince seeing me fully naked. It was damn embarrassing really.

"You don't know who I am anymore."

"People don't change. You don't change nor does that stupid bitch sister of yours. You are all still dolls. You are little worthless dolls after all this time. And who is this boy...the newest worthless piece of shit?"

I looked at him. He was speaking the same words that they spoke all that long time ago. He was calling me worthless. He was looking at me and I could feel my emotions breaking. Just another person who was looking at me with this disgusted look.

"Leave him alone. Tatum, don't listen to him...you..."

"I can see the ugliness in him."
"Maybe I should leave," I stated, getting out of the pool.

Ethan and Vince were both staring at my naked body. Hell. It was pointless. It was pointless to try to hide my body from them. He already saw me as useless...what was the point of trying to hide it? Besides I rather have done that then sit at the pool and listen to his rantings.

Vince looked over at his brother, "You're an asshole you know that. Tatum, you don't have to leave. I'm sorry about earlier, I really want to get to know you..."

"No...he wants to fuck you and send you on your way," Ethan stated, "Tell the truth Vince."
Ethan was laughing again. It was a cold drawn out laugh. I couldn't believe it. I looked over at Vince. He kept shaking his head like he was denying it, but how could he deny it. I looked at myself in the reflection of the pool.

"Useless," my reflection told me.

Ethan shouted as I walked away from the pool trying to put on all my clothes, "I already called the ride. He'll drop you off to wherever you want to go."









I'd gone home and I started to cry. I'd thrown up the lunch that Wednesday had bought me earlier in the day by force. I couldn't have that shit in my system. Now after throwing up I just looked at myself in the mirror. Africa had followed me to New York. It had crept in my suitcase and had attached itself to my back. It was never going to leave. The memories...they came crashing down over and over and over.

I kept trying to tell myself, "It's not that serious. That boy doesn't know you...Ethan doesn't know you."

Then the mirror devil appeared. He looked over at me.

"It isn't just Ethan. They all think the same way. Kendall was the only one good enough to admit it. Look at Caprio...he knew you looked horrible in the pictures but he told you otherwise so he can look so much better next to you. That way he'll sell more."

"What can I do..."

"Get it over with."

The tears were falling down my eyes. My room had been completely dark. It was in the middle of the morning.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

My eyes in the mirror became the eyes of all those kids...all those victims. Why should I have been the one who survived? Why was my past creeping up to me so slowly so slowly and even when I tried to forget the horrors, I couldn't! Those unspeakable things refused to be forgotten. They refused to be let go of.

The eyes looked over at the knife that I always used to slice my raw meat. I'd been eating raw meat lately. It was called the Paleolithic diet. It promised to make me look healthier and look like I had more vitality.

"Go ahead, Baas," the African voices in the mirror told me all in unison, all in one, "Finish yourself before the Boer finds you."


It was silence. I was in Africa all over again. The room was dark. The room was always dark. I could smell blood. The taste in my mouth. It was the Boer. The Boers were the white men...the Afrikaans.

Then the nun walking past me, "Useless. Get your ass from here. Stupid goffel! Go to di kitchen. Get your ass!"
Disappointment on her face.

I'd run to the kitchen. The knife right there.


I reached for the knife. I felt the knife under my fingers. I led the knife to my wrist. Musu told me when I did it, I should cut down. I should cut down. It was the plan.

But then I could see the lights...the fucking lights. The meddling lights pierce into the area. They surrounded me moving all around me.


I flashed back to the present. Someone was knocking on the door. I dropped the knife. A drip of blood was where I had pressed the knife. I hadn't even realized what I was doing.

I opened the door.

"Caprio?" I asked.

"I had a nightmare. It was about you...I just had to wake up and see that you were ok..."

I was complexed. I didn't know what to say. The tears were dried out of my eyes but my eyes were red still. I could tell by how his face was changing that he was realizing something.

"Let me see your hand."


"Give me your fucking hand, dickhead!"

I shut the door in his face and locked it. I heard him knocking but I ran to the bed and covered myself with the pillow. I muffled out the sounds. Caprio was such an asshole. I was pissed off. How the hell did he know? How the hell did he know I had been sitting here upset?

What the fuck was Caprio, psychic or some shit?




I had woken up early. I planned on sneaking out the house so I wouldn't have to deal with Caprio in the morning. I'd gotten dressed and everything. I took my toothbrush and comb, opening my bedroom door and trying my hardest to sneak out without making too much noise.


As soon as I opened the door, Caprio was laying right there. He had been asleep against the door, but as I opened it he stumbled awake.

I tried to leap over him, but he caught me!


He grabbed me and tossed me back into the room. My body landed hard against the floor and I struggled to get up. He walked inside of my room and locked the door behind me. He looked pissed off. Asshole. I hated him. I hated him with everything that I had.

"You are going to tell me what the fuck happened to you to make you like this," he ordered me.

"You wouldn't understand," I stated.

I tried to get up, but he actually walked over to me and pushed me back on the floor. He must have had a thing about doming over me the way he was, with that look in his face. That look that said he was trying to probe into me.

"Try me."

I crossed my arms, "Caprio you would be the last person I would tell."

"Well you are going to have to change that," he stated, coldly, "I'm also the only person who isn't just going to sweep it under the rug."

"Why are you sitting here pretending, am I a joke to you?" I asked, "You find everything so fucking hilarious. You find everything so funny. You think I'm here for your entertainment?"

He grabbed me off the floor.

He took me onto the bed and sat on the bed as well. He sat Indian-style looking at me. He took my wrist and looked down. It was clear to see that I had injured myself there, even though it was just a slight wound that I could easily dismiss as something else. It seemed pointless though. He had this knowing look on his face.

"You really think I get on you for entertainment?" He asked, with a serious look on his face, "You don't know how far from the truth you are. Natalie and I haven't always been close. No one in my family was really close to me. There was a reason I escaped LA. In LA everyone was so beautiful...I'd fallen in love with a girl. Her name was Tiffany. No matter how beautiful I told Tiffany she was, she didn't believe me. She always looked at skinnier girls and she got uncomfortable."

"Was she overweight?"

"She was a little thick but..."

"Then how could you fault her?" I stated, "She was bigger. Look at you. Your perfect. You probably could get those skinny girls. Why fault her for wanting to lose weight. Be truthful, isn't that what you want."
"No! God, you sound JUST like her!" Caprio stated and pointed at my chest, "That is the only thing I care about. The heart. That is the only thing that matters. A few pounds is pointless. You want to know what the hell happened to her!"

He sounded as though he wasn't arguing with me. He sounded for a minute as though he was arguing with her. It was really spooky as though he had been haunted by this for such a long time.


"She took diet pills to lose weight. She lost alright. She went from 160...to 130...to 100...to 80...she weighed 60 pounds. She was so beautiful when she slept. She was so beautiful...but one day she didn't wake up."

He stopped talking.

For a minute it felt as though time was frozen in place. Caprio was crying. He was sitting there tearing up. I NEVER could have imagined seeing Caprio cry. It seemed like he just never that type.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

It was the only thing that I could think about saying. I rubbed my hands across his back. I couldn't help moving closer. I moved closer and I wrapped both hands around him. He was reliving his horror just like I had relived mine.

"I joke a lot because I don't want anything to have that effect on me again," he admitted, between whimpers, "Now you know..."

I rubbed his back some more. A part of me wanted so bad to tell him about the things that I had gone through. A part of me wanted to admit it but the other part of me refused. He did release a part of himself to me. I could see that now, but he was still Caprio. I was still so afraid of him for some reason.

"I don't hate you," I stated and looked away. It was awkward. It was out of place, but it was something that I had to tell him for some reason.

He turned his face. Our eyes glanced at one another. We looked at one another with this extreme look. God he was so beautiful. His eyes were windows to something so much deeper. The deepness was in his heart.

"You're beautiful..." he told me, "That is without doubt but being beautiful and believing you are, are two different things. You're true worth isn't in how symmetrical your face is. You're worth isn't wanting to look like someone else. You know I like quotes. Well...someone once told me that to wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are. You're very special, Tatum...to me."

We stared at one another in complete silence. His presence was so strong. I felt myself leaning into him, uncontrollably. It was a force that I couldn't control and honestly didn't want to.

I could smell him as I leaned in. He put his hand up and his hand ran across my face. It was as though he was luring me in as well. Did he want this as much as I did?

Was he moving closer as well? I couldn't tell. It was almost like we weren't moving at all but still ended up closer. I could almost feel those sweet, juicy lips against mine. I could almost feel how soft they were as we got closer and closer.

So many questions in my head, as I closed my eyes, ready to receive the kiss of a lifetime.

"Mauricio's here!" I heard Angelo said. He hadn't just knocked on my door but he had peered in.

I pulled away from Caprio just at that moment as Angelo looked in the door. The excited smile he had on his face disappeared with one of an embarrassment. He was so young, but I wondered if he thought he was interrupting something.

He apologized and closed the door back again.

"Mauricio...I won't tell him about the whole wrist incident," Caprio stated, breaking out of the moment and getting up from the bed, "Just don't do it again."

The way he said Mauricio's name seemed to hold more to it. It seemed more like a reminder then anything. A reminder that there was a Mauricio and I was with HIM. Caprio looked at me for a minute and licked his lips. Who knew if we would have actually kissed in that lonely room, with our emotions high and a certain level of trust that floated between us? Perhaps it was my imagination.




I sat in my room for a while. I was thinking about Caprio. Who else did I know that would lain outside my front door all night just because I didn't open it when he wanted to come in? How long had he been banging? I bet it was a long time.

Now I knew why he cared so much. He had someone close to him die from anorexia complications. I wondered if thought that would happen to me.


I walked out of the room and into the hallway finally. I walked past Angelo on the way. He still had that strange look on his face, as though he found something amusing. I didn't get it. What the hell did he find amusing?

"You're weird kid," I stated, playing with his hair as I walked by.

He just continued to smile with his cheeks getting red and didn't say anything at all. Then I saw Mauricio and Caprio. They were both in the living room. They were laughing at something that was on the huge flat screen television against the wall that faced away from the huge glass wall.

I turned back to Angelo. He was standing by the door watching and smiling. He was entertained. He raised an eyebrow and let out this knowing glare. Shit...what the hell did he see exactly?

"Hey baby," Mauricio stated.

I could feel Angelo's eyes on me. I looked over at Caprio. He looked so awkward. He didn't look at me. It had to be still a little awkwardness from the moment we had just had in the room. His face diverted mine completely.

Why did it feel like everyone in the room had this huge tension besides Mauricio?

"I'm cool, baby. You?"

Caprio looked up. I guess he was surprised that I had called Mauricio baby. I never called Mauricio baby. We exchanged a short glance and then he looked away.

"I was going to take Caprio out shopping for the go-sees he has next week. I heard you two squashed the little beef you had. You want to come along?"

"I don't think it'll be such a good idea...I was going to the gym."

"Oh come on...please. We don't spend anytime together."
Mauricio gave me a cute look. I looked at Caprio but he wasn't giving me any type of clue on what I should say. He just looked away, silent, seeming to ignore me completely.

"Ok, I'll come."

"Getting my coat," Caprio stated.

He walked away slightly rudely to his bedroom. I just crossed my arms.

"You guys sure you squashed it?" Mauricio asked.

I nodded at him, "Yeah...we squashed it."

"Can I come too? I need to get some things as well," Angelo stated with such a sneaky intent that I found obvious.

"Yea sure. Why not?"




We left and headed to the Macy's that was near Madison Square Garden. It was huge mall, bigger then I thought was even nearly necessary. Caprio and Mauricio had a lot in common. They talked almost constantly, leaving Angelo and I just sitting there wondering a little bit about what they always found so funny. I guess it was because they had grown up together. I had no idea.
We lagged behind and it was the perfect time to talk to Angelo. I watched Mauricio look back, smiling at me with his perfect smile. He cared about me so much.

"Whatever you thought you saw...you didn't see," I told Angelo.

He hummed, "Huh? Oh...ok."

He was giving up to easily. I looked over and saw his little sneaky look. God, he was really acting like he'd just caught me red-handed doing something I wasn't supposed to.

"Ok...Angelo, stop acting weird."

"How am I?"

I pushed him, almost pushing him into the wall, "Come on. Stop joking around. What's on your mind?"

He finally snapped to himself, "Ok...you two...I don't know what you have going on. I didn't see anything, but the way you looked at each other was crazy."

"Caprio's straight."

"It's 2008...he's a model...people don't have the same rules as they did before. Who knows what he is. Who knows what he likes?"

"Angelo can you please stop trying to pretend like you are some old man...cause you're really not. You're 14."

He got quiet and started to whistle. God, this was annoying that this boy thought he knew about something that didn't even happen.

"Did you guys have sex?" he asked randomly.

"No...we didn't kiss. We didn't do anything, we were just talking."

"I think you guys had sex."

I grabbed him by his neck and squeezed a little until he let out a short hard yelp of pain. It kind of felt good to know I was so much stronger than someone.

"That's what you get."

"Ok ok...well the only time I see Caprio serious is when he talking to or obviously thinking about you. Any other time he can't keep a serious face for anything. Now why is that?"

I knew why. Even now Caprio turned around. Our eyes met. Yes, he had gone from joking with Mauricio to having a serious face as soon as our eyes met one another.

It wasn't because he was attracted to me. It was because he thought he saw into my future. He thought I was going to end up just like his dead girlfriend. Was I so pathetic to him?

When we kissed...was it his girlfriend he saw?

Mauricio's voice broke through, "Hey look..."

We were passing the electronics place. There were televisions everywhere piled up on one another for sale. They were all on the same channel. It was a breaking news announcement.

"News just in, CEO owner of Ford Modeling and reknowned socialite Rich Montague was killed this morning outside of his New Jersey mansion estate by an unknown gunman. His wife and the heiress to his estate Wednesday Montague was spotted this afternoon morning for her husband's death after being told about it while taking care of her ailing mother."

Fuck...Wednesday. I couldn't believe that her husband just died. I crossed my arms a little upset. They showed a video capturing of her. The new reporters didn't give a damn about pain or anything of that sort of thing.

She looked so upset. She was sitting there crying and all I knew was that I felt so bad for her.

She looked so...alone...just like me.


Please join us at the Yahoo Group...for discussion of the story and to give some feedback about what you think about the story, as well as other stories by this author.