Story One. A LIFE IN THE CLOSET by AARON THE AUSSIE.
If you are under 18 you should NOT be here, so DO NOT read on. Just EXIT NOW.
"A Life in the Closet" is total fiction, but it is very largely based on my life experiences, so quite a lot of it is an attempt at recording in a slightly changed way, some of the significant events in my life. And of course, names etc have been changed.
Each Story that I have written, ( and I have used that word rather than the word Chapter ) can be read quite independently of all the others, because each is a complete, stand-alone story. Some are longer than others and each will have varying degrees of sexual activity some even having minimal, if any sex. But, all the stories revolve around the `Gay / Boy Lover' basic theme. Occasionally, a character will be in more than one story...
( Thomas is the first example – He is in both this Story and Story 2 )
However, they are all written from my point of view and I have tried to keep them basically in an order of chronology. So, they can be read in number order giving, an overview and flow to a significant number of the things that have happened to me over the years.
I have also tried to make each story interesting and as sexy as possible, whilst keeping them all as REAL as I could. In this story, STORY ONE for example, where the chronology begins, it's about 1960 and I'm 8/9 years old. In that era and in the place where I grew up anyway, unlike many of the stories I have read, kids of that age just didn't run around sexing it up with every other kid every other day. Most didn't use the language of today either, just saying "Bloody" could get a kid into trouble. I don't think I actually ever uttered the word FUCK aloud, until I was a young adult. Further, in the circles in which I moved, Homosexuality was a very, very taboo subject, very rarely discussed let alone openly, until well into the 1970's. I did not even try to come out to my Parents until I was about 25 and then, they just would not believe me, let alone accept that I was Gay.
All of my Stories are completed and I don't plan to make any changes to them, but I would still very much appreciate and be interested in your comments and feedback. As others have stated, feedback is a form of payment for us and indicates the level of reader interest.
Please email me at: aarontheaussie@bigpond.com
So... Here goes I hope you find these stories OK.
Aaron.
WORSHIP AND ABUSE - MY VERY EARLIEST SEXUAL RECOLLECTIONS.
My cousin Laurie was tall and slim, with a dark "young Elvis" style swept back sides, flat top forward crew cut, which was very "in and cool" back then in the early 1960's and which I thought made him look really "groovy" just like the idol he was to me, should look. At the time he was 16 and I had a very serious "Hero Worship" type crush on him. He only lived a few doors down the road from us and I saw him often. The really good thing was that he was always nice to me and seemed happy to spend time with me, even though I considered myself something of a nerdy ( had such a word existed then ) little kid. I was only 8, but already I was a bit into reading and I really liked arithmetic. I was not into sport and had no real friends so I was something of a loner.
One night Dad came into the kitchen and sat at the table beside me. He saw that I was reading a book and said,
"I think it's time we got you doing a few more physical things, don't you?"
I was not very impressed at his suggestion. But, then he said,
"What say that this weekend we get that really old push bike of mine out of the shed and see if between us we can get it into working order. If we can, the bike is yours and I'll be happy to teach you the basics. Once you can ride a bit, I'm sure Laurie will take over and spend some time with you, developing your riding skills."
I was a bit apprehensive at first, but did actually get to like the idea, especially if Laurie was to be involved as my real riding instructor.
The bike was in an even worse state than Dad had feared and he had to do most of the work, whilst I watched, and surprise, surprise, enjoyed it and learnt quite a bit ! By the end of the weekend the bike was rideable and I had been through some basics with Dad, who seemed really pleased with me for a change. I felt some exhilaration and felt that bike riding might just be something I could get right into.
Initially Laurie and I stayed fairly close to home, as he started to put me through my paces. But as my confidence grew and my skills improved, despite the limitations of the old bike, we broadened our horizons.
Of course, Laurie had a superb racing bike and was quite a dare devil, which I wanted to emulate, but he took his teaching role seriously and would not let me do anything stupid. It was not that long before I was more confident and started to consider myself quite a good rider.
Laurie was popular, with loads of friends and social involvements and at 16 he also had lots of homework and study to do, so he spent more time with me after school each day than he really should have. Because I loved being with him as much as I could, I was very careful not to become too good a rider too quickly ! But as the weeks passed, we ventured further and further afield.
There were lots of hilly and even quite steep roads in our area and Laurie challenged me ( and my old bike ) on some of them. We also explored a lot more parkland with bike tracks than I ever imagined existed. I had a few spills, but nothing too serious and Laurie tended to my minor injuries. If I was upset at all, I got cuddled, which I enjoyed so much that I feigned upset quite a few times. A number of my spills resulted directly from failures of the old bike, which was constantly in need of repairs.
As I approached my 9th Birthday I began to notice waking up often in the mornings with a little stiffy. I didn't understand it and it worried me a bit, but it felt nice when I rubbed ( humped ) it on the mattress a bit, so I decided to ask Laurie about it.
We were wheeling our bikes through a park one day after a particularly tough ride for me, which included a big hill climb, when Laurie said he needed a piss. Apart from my early morning stiffies, I had never had one before, but as we wheeled towards the public toilets I was suddenly aware of being quite hard.
We stood side by side at the urinal and Laurie peed, I didn't seem able to. His cock was huge and I could not help staring and I saw that once he'd finished, it started to stiffen too. By the time it was fully erect, it was mammoth and I thought really beautiful. It jutted up in front of him, straight and proud with a huge bulbous head and it even seemed to me to throb a bit.
"You've got a little tiny stiffy" he said "and see what happened to me as soon as I saw it !!"
"Laurie" I said "I've been getting them a bit lately, but I don't really understand what it's all about"
He replied, indicating that its normal and I shouldn't worry. "All boys start to have them from about your age or a little older, as the growing up process starts" he said "as you can see" he continued, indicating his member which was now starting to wilt a little, "by the time you are my age it becomes a big part of your life and you will be thinking a lot about girls".
Nothing more happened that day, but I know my feelings for Laurie were weird and changing in a way I still didn't understand at all.
My Birthday came during the School Term Break before Laurie's big final exams for that year and so we only had a short time together before the end of that break, during which I could exult with him about my fabulous and exciting present. Yes... of course, it was a brand new bike !
Once school resumed I was pretty much back on my own after school and on weekends. But, I had my new bike and loved the freedom it gave me. I'm sure Dad was pleased and neither he nor Mum unreasonably restricted me at all, so I was off on my bike exploring at every chance.
One afternoon about a week after school started I was on my own and a few miles from home. I tended to ride in that direction so I could come down my very favourite really steep hill. I knew it well by then and could get up a pretty good speed. It had an S Bend in the middle of it and it curved sharply at the bottom. You came out of that curve into a very ordinary straight and level street, with houses on one side and a park on the other. Riding it was like being on a roller coaster and I loved it ( especially when Laurie was with me ) On this occasion unfortunately, I took the sweeping curve at the bottom just a little too wide and was briefly airborne before hitting the gutter and sort of, coming off.
I had some abrasions and bleeding on my left side where I had hit the road surface hard. But, my serious pain was in my upper thigh and groin area where I had apparently been caught by the bikes cross bar. Even worse, it must have also caught my balls and the pain from them was excruciating. I kind of went into a foetal ball and started bawling my head off.
I was still in severe pain and really crying when I became aware of a man who I found out later, had apparently come running from the park. He picked up my bike, examined it briefly and lifted it over the fence into the front yard of the house which was in front of us. Then he carefully picked me up in his arms and carried me into the house.
He took me into a bedroom, put me on the bed, straightened me out and then he started to undress me.
My first reaction was to resist, but he told me in a quite gentle voice, that he needed to check out my injuries. He took absolutely everything right off, which I was still a bit uncomfortable about, but he was helping me and had been gentle, so I let him.
He saw what was already angry bruising on my upper thigh and groin and asked if my balls were OK as I was still holding onto them. I told him they were aching like I couldn't believe, so he went and got 2 lots of tea towel wrapped ice cubes and carefully placed one over the bruising and the other over my balls. Then while I held the tea towels, he tended as best and as quickly as he could to my other injuries.
Having done what he could, he got a chair and sat beside me to talk. While he talked, he took the ice packs back, one in each hand and moved them around a bit, which embarrassed me a little because it seemed to involve a fair bit of touching in that fairly private area.
What I learned from him was:
His name was Monte Maxwell, but he would prefer me to call him Monte rather than Mr Maxwell
He lived here alone and was usually close by, so I picked a lucky spot to have my fall
He worked at night, so was mostly around during the day and spent a lot of time over at the park.
He felt that I was very shaken up and really needed a sedative, but he didn't have anything like that at present to give me.
I asked about my bike and expressed some fear about what Dad and Mum might say since it was quite new. Monte said it was a bit knocked about, but did not seem to be badly damaged, other than for the front tyre which was shredded making it unrideable.
"Anyway" he said having asked where I lived and went to school, "you are in no condition to ride any more today, so I'll take you home in the car. Tell you what" he continued, "Leave the bike here tonight and I'll fix it up for you. Then I'll pick you up from school tomorrow, so we can come back here and you can ride your bike home"
It seemed an extremely generous plan, coming from a virtual stranger. But, I really had no option but to trust him and agree, after all, he had been very nice to me and in those days slogans like "Stranger Danger" did not exist.
I had a thought and expressed it:
"if you drop me at my cousin Laurie's , I could ring home from there and arrange a sleepover. Then there will be no awkward questions about where my bike is, because I'll have it when I get home tomorrow night".
"Good Thinking" Monte said.
Eventually, as the pain in my balls started to subside, I got dressed and he drove me to Laurie's. But on the way, he stopped at a Medical Drug Dispensary ( what we call a Pharmacy ) and he got me that sedative. While we were there, the pharmacist called out "Thomas" and a boy who looked to be just a little older than me came out from the back of the shop. He paused and nodded to Monte, who said "Hi Thomas" Then he turned to the pharmacist, who asked him to hop on his bike and make a special and urgent delivery of medicines. He was not a boy that I knew, but it was interesting that he knew Monte. The incident was minor and I soon forgot about it, but it turned out to have some real future relevance.
I successfully negotiated my sleepover at Laurie's house, not that I saw much of him, because he was busy with study and exam preparation. But, my balls eventually stopped hurting, my Aunt again bathed my abrasions, etc and she sent me to bed fairly early with more of the sedative Monte had purchased.
So, the next day Monte collected me from school as promised, and took me back to his place. He had fixed up the bike so well that it looked new again and I couldn't thank him enough. He had obviously spent money on it, but he said it was nothing and that he was glad I was happy.
I was about to get on my bike and go, but he said, "You better come inside and I'll have another quick squiz at your injuries and I've also got some coca cola and sweets if you would like" I was a bit reluctant, but again felt I had to agree, given all he had done for me.
To me, Monte was old, but he was probably only about 40. He was tall and thin and a bit stooped, but sinewy and strong. He was clean shaven but his hair was longish, straggly and always seemed unkempt.
In particular, he wanted to look at the bruising on my thigh and groin, so again the pants and undies came off. He fingered the area carefully noting the very sore spots
Then without warning, he grasped my dick and said gruffly, "You have a very nice little cock"
I decided that it was time to resist and began to struggle, knowing that this was very wrong and wanting desperately to get away. But of course, I was no match for his strength and he soon had me subdued.
I was not by any means stimulated, so he had to spend a lot of time on my cock just to eventually get it hard, whilst at the same time ensuring that I couldn't make a break for it. Once it was hard, he wanked it for a very long time, until I finally had the new experience of a massive dry cum. I didn't know what it was called, only that the feeling was unbelievably good.
"There" he said, "That wasn't so bad was it ? In fact I bet it felt really good at the end there" I tried to put on a sulky face and made no response, but I had to admit to myself that he was pretty right.
He gave me some sweets and we shared a bottle of Coke.
He then said, "I really like you a lot Aaron and I want you to come visit me here regularly. If you do we can have lots of fun together, but don't forget, I know where you live and go to school and if you don't cooperate, I could make it very difficult for you and you could be in big trouble with your Parents. You could also be in big trouble if you tell anyone at all about what we do together. It's our little secret"
He looked at me closely and added, "But I think deep down you really liked what we did, so you'll be happy to keep coming back. Just don't ever tell anyone...you sure you've got it ?"
I nodded and knew that I was trapped
So I became a regular visitor at Monte's. I'm embarrassed to say that I went back only once or twice because I was scared not to. After that it was more and more because I wanted what he was doing to me. It felt just sooo good ! I was soon getting more and more stimulated and became hard quickly. Then he would wank me to a dry cum. I was still worried that what we were doing was very wrong, but, I was getting insatiable, wanting more and more. Then one day my little cock went into his mouth and he sucked me off. It was fabulous and became my regular super highlight.
It occurred to me one day that despite all this, I had never seen Monte other than fully clothed and so I said straight out to him, "I want to see your cock, will you show it to me please ?"
Reluctantly he took his trousers and his boxers off and I can only say that I was totally revolted just by the look of it. It was semi hard, hugely thick and long, with something of a curve to it, covered in thick pubic hair and criss-crossed with ugly heavy veins. His balls were also huge and hung really low. I reached out and put my hand around the dick and began to stroke it. It only took a couple of strokes when it started to spew this awful glutinous greasy white stuff everywhere, and it still wasn't even properly hard !! It was horrible and I never asked to see it again.
However, this did not affect his success in soon having my every waking moment consumed with lustful thoughts about boys.
He had quite a few pictures of nude young boys, some even with hard-ons and they really stimulated me, to the point where I starting to look at and daydream about lots of the boys at school.
I discovered too, that much of the time he spent in the park opposite, was around the Public Toilets, on the lookout for potential new boy cocks. He even took me in a couple of times and showed me the glory holes and all the graffiti. I was impressed and whenever I could, whilst out riding I started looking for different Public Toilet Blocks to explore on my own.
It was obvious that I was not the only boy Monte was involved with and one day I arrived at his place to find him with another boy. We did not get to see or speak to each other and I found that he always went to some trouble to keep all his boys apart.
I had been going to Monte's for nearly the full School Term and I was thinking about Laurie and free holiday time ahead to spend with him. Now, as a Monte convertee, I was also regularly thinking about Laurie's beautiful big cock. The one I had seen just that once and which, as compared to Monte's revolting one, I now adored and regularly daydreamed about, and I wondered if it was wise to try to get even closer to Laurie my idol, than I had previously been ?
So I went round to see Laurie one late afternoon. My Aunt told me he only had 3 more exams, so in 3 days he would be free. "But" she said, "At the moment, he and his friend Lee are still working hard on preparation, up in his room. Go up and see him by all means, but don't stay very long".
At the top of the stairs I saw that Laurie's bedroom door was closed, so I turned the door handle and charged in !!
Laurie was shocked and he jumped up from where he had been, on his bed on top of Lee, going at it full tilt. You see Lee was actually a girl and they were madly fucking, not that I fully comprehended that at the time. I didn't even think to look at my cousins dream cock. All that I could take in was Lee still spread eagled on the bed with her thighs wide so that my focus was on her cunt winking right at me together with her covering of wet pubic hair.
Just as when I saw Monte's genitals, I was totally and absolutely revolted by Lees display and looking back now I think that if I was not already naturally so, it was from that moment that I started becoming a confirmed boy only lover for life even though I was still only 9. Adult cocks and girls in general were gross and seemed to totally turn me right off !!
There were major, major embarrassments and red faces all around, with apologies flying everywhere. Eventually I broke the tension a little, when I said, "An interesting Study technique" Laurie responded by saying, "Please don't ever say anything to my Mum or Dad" He also commented on the need in the future to lock and not just close his door.
As I made my way home, my main concern was that I was losing my lovely Laurie to girls. Of course I understood basically that this was normal and my developing interest in boys was not. I was upset and I didn't know what to do. I was not going to hold this against Laurie, I hoped we would still be friends, but our relationship would be a bit different. Laurie had always been the one person I felt I could talk to about my intimate problems. Now I had no idea, what the future might bring.
To make matters even more difficult for me, the very next time I went to Monte's, there was a "For Lease" sign up and a man told me that the tenant had gone quietly and suddenly, without leaving a forwarding address.
I was devastated because nobody made beautiful love to my cock like Monte and now I had even lost Mr Sleaze. At the same time I was very relieved that I was not going to be able to keep wallowing in this evil anti-social stuff, which I had been for close to 3 months now.
The one thing I did have again now, was time and I thought, I'll get back into riding my bike ( and my new interest in exploring Park Toilet Blocks )
I was riding along a few days later, when another kid on a bike came up fast beside me and motioned for me to pull over and stop. I did and then realised it was Thomas, the Delivery boy for the Pharmacy. When I looked more closely at him, I thought he looked kind of like a miniature version of Laurie.
First he asked me if I had any idea where Monte had gone. I said, "No".
He then said, "He was having it off with you wasn't he?" I blushed but admitted that he was. Thomas then said,
"Don't worry, he was doing things with a few kids. He wanked me a couple of times and I liked it. But, when he wanted to start sucking me off and started to threaten me because I wouldn't let him, I told him in no uncertain terms to GO AND GET FUCKED ! and I haven't been near him since".
I was really shocked by his language. In those days the worst most kids used was a few "Bloodies" But Thomas clearly had a very self-confident and aggressive personality and didn't seem to care.
"I bet you let him suck you off, ah?" he said and again I had to confess that he did.
Thomas confided in me that he thought Monte might be in a bit of trouble, because he tried to get up the arse of a couple of slightly older kids and Rape them.
He said, "As a result, they have ratted on him to their parents and I hear the Cops might get involved". Again I didn't understand exactly what the hell he was talking about or just what it meant, but it sounded dreadful and I wouldn't blame those kids for ratting
I was somewhat frightened by all this, but Thomas surprised me then by just changing the subject casually, but abruptly.
"Hey, listen" he said "If you want to make some pocket money, the Pharmacy is looking for an extra delivery boy, a few days a week afternoons for a couple of hours. You've got a good bike and you look reliable, so I could put a good word in for you, if you're interested. But remember, I'm kinda the boss kid, so you'd have to do what I say"
I was intrigued thinking, this kid must have mates of his own, yet here he is offering this to a virtual stranger !! But, he seemed genuine and he told me to go see the pharmacist.
I thought I'd talk to my Dad first, which I did and as a result I was soon working with Thomas at the Pharmacy on deliveries, 3 afternoons a week after school. It was great because I was actually being paid, just for the enjoyment of riding my bike all over the place !!
But then the day came when I was so upset that I was in tears and just knew that I had to talk to someone. There was just nobody else so I went to Laurie. He hugged me and comforted me, but having read the newspaper story I had been shown by Thomas, he asked quietly,
"Did this man assault or interfere with you?" I said, "No" and admitted to nothing. I don't think he fully believed me, but the conversation which followed was nice. It helped me relax and it cemented my lifelong good relationship with my Cousin Laurie. ( It continues today, just as strongly 50 years on )
YESTERDAY MORNING ONE MONTE MAXWELL JUMPED TO HIS DEATH FROM THE BALCONY
OF THE 4TH FLOOR UNIT WHERE HE WAS STAYING.
MR MAXWELL HAD A POLICE RECORD AND A HISTORY OF ASSULTING YOUNG CHILDREN.
HE HAD CURRENTLY BEEN UNDER FURTHER POLICE INVESTIGATION CONCERNING SEVERAL NEW COMPLAINTS AND AN ARREST HAD BEEN EXPECTED SOON.
AUTHORITIES ARE SATISFIED THAT THERE ARE NO OTHER SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES AND THAT HIS DEATH WAS DEFINITELY AT HIS OWN HANDS.
Looking back now, 50 years on, I can still feel for Monte. Because he was a Boy Lover back then, in much the same way as I have always been and still am. The only difference being that I largely remained just a "Boy Lover". I pretty much managed to avoid progressing to active paedophilia and got by, with the exercise of a lot of personal self-control he obviously did not have, combined to a very large degree I guess, with some luck !!
Today fortunately, there is far greater acceptance of the fact that we have no actual control over our sexual orientation, at least amongst those educated enough to think about it and not just be homophobic. But I still wonder even now, after all the years that have passed, as to just what effects my experiences as a totally naïve 9 year old might have had on the development of my sexual orientation and personality ??
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