Adam? Yes, Matty.

By the third afternoon of the new school year creeping along the pick-up lane at Franklin Middle was already getting old. I liked it a lot better the previous year in elementary school, when Matty took a bus straight to the Park District after-school program and stayed there until I came to pick him up after work. Matty had tons of fun and it was convenient as hell. He didn't "age-out" of the Park District program, mind you. They accepted kids twelve and under so he still had a year and a half on that score. No, it was the middle school that messed it up by not providing a bus to take the kids there. It wasn't the only way the school fouled up my life, but it was a major one.

Over the summer the school had mailed us a packet of information about their many and myriad policies, including the fact that there was no school bus service for children living within a one-mile radius of the school. There was a map showing the school's location at the center of a bright red circle defining the so-called "walk/bike zone." Our house was a half-block inside the line.

Now, Susan and I were confident that Matty was mature and responsible enough to bike or walk a mile by himself, even if the vast majority of parents now subscribed to the idiotic notion that children allowed out of sight for five minutes were dead meat. There wasn't a safety concern for us at all, but simply that Matty didn't currently have a bike since he'd crashed his old twenty-incher over the summer and broke the main weld where the seat post meets the crank housing. We hadn't bought him a new bike because he wanted to save up for a twenty-six-inch ten-speed racer -- for which he was still a bit small -- plus it was important to him that he pay for it himself and he couldn't yet afford it. I thought of buying a cheap used bike just to get him by but he didn't want it, and besides he couldn't ride it to school once winter came, anyway.

OK, you say, then why not walk in the meantime? Well, the distance to school was just under a mile as the crow flies, but Matty was not a crow. In between our house and the school there was a creek, a fenced Catholic church and school complex, and the municipal rose garden, also fenced. By the time he diverted two blocks to the bridge over the creek and circumnavigated the church and rose garden the walk was close to two miles. That's a lot of steps for an undersized eleven-year-old with a sixteen-inch stride.

When we realized there was no choice except to drive Matty to and from school every day we scrambled to make arrangements. Getting him there was no problem as I could easily drop him on my way to work. Picking him up was a whole other matter.

I arranged with my boss to ditch out of the office at a quarter to three every afternoon, with the understanding that unless there was some compelling reason to come back to the office I would just finish my day from home, making my phone calls and setting the next morning's schedule. It was incredibly generous, and I appreciated it, but the physical act of picking Matty up was already getting on my nerves.

So there I was wedged between a giant pea-green SUV and a garish yellow mini-van, crawling up to the pick-up zone and feeling aggravated. My mood instantly elevated when I finally reached the front and Matty came running to the car grinning happily.

"Hi Adam!" he chirped, in a great mood for a change from recent days. He threw his backpack across the back seat and buckled himself in next to it. That was another small annoyance to me, that the school insisted that children under eighty-five pounds had to ride in the back seat. At least they didn't insist on a booster seat. To be fair it was the state law, and undoubtedly safer, so I grudgingly accepted it.

"Hey kid," I said fondly. "Good day at school?"

"Yeah!" he enthused. "I met two of David's friends that he fools around with sometimes, and they're both real nice and real cute."

"That sounds good," I said.

"Yeah, but he says neither one knows about each other, and they're both real nervous about anybody finding out that they do gay stuff, so he doesn't know if we can ever play together."

"Well," I said, "you know the rule."

"Nobody should do anything they don't want to do," Matty said. "Oh, and at lunch today I introduced David to Jason and Jeremy and Mike."

"Now those guys aren't nervous," I chuckled.

"Nope," he said, "except Jeremy a little. Oh, that reminds me. Did you know that we only have half a day of school on Friday?"

Boy, did I know it. First week of the new arrangement with the boss and already I had to ask to get out even earlier.

"Yes, I remember," I said. "Teachers' meeting, I think."

"Yeah, something like that. Anyway I was thinking, could we maybe do a swim party at the condo? It's supposed to be, like, ninety degrees or something."

"I'll have to see about work," I said, "but if I can get away sure, we can take David to the condo."

"Not just David," Matty said. "All the guys. I already told them we could have a big orgy."

I frowned in tiny annoyance. "You should have checked with me before you told everybody that," I said. "It's possible I won't be able to take off of work. Also, we're going to have to put in an appearance in the actual pool. One of these days somebody's going to notice that I walk in with a bunch of boys carrying towels and swimsuits and we never show up at the pool!"

Friday came and I was able to take the afternoon off, and so the Big Condo Swim and Orgy Party was a "go." Jeremy was unable to attend, his Mom having declined permission "Just to be mean" according to the boy, although I suspected she may have had an actual reason. The other parents provided the necessary permissions and secret code words so that the school would deign to release three happy boys into my custody.

It was a beautiful, hot September day and, orgy anticipation notwithstanding, we all relished the cool water. David looked magnificent in his tiny Speedo, spectacularly revealing of his very athletic little body. I'll never forget the sight of him standing at the pool gutter after just climbing out, the water running off of him and glistening in the bright sun, clinging to his glorious contours as it cascaded down. His pre-teen abdomen had the hint of a future six-pack and his slim shoulders and chest were just beginning to widen into what promised to be a classic "swimmer's build." We found out that David was in fact an avid swimmer and competed on the Park District's relay team, as well as the individual Butterfly. He was a sight to behold as he sliced through the water like a porpoise. It was too bad Jeremy wasn't there, as he would have finally had some racing competition.

I shot a glance at Matty who was also drinking in David's glory. He was even more transfixed than I had been, mouth slightly agape in disbelief that any human boy could look that good. Then beyond Matty I saw Jason, mouth also open in disbelief, but he wasn't looking at David. He was staring at Matty staring at David, and the look in his brown eyes was pained. He noticed me looking at him and turned away, swimming over to Mike.

When the two or three other tenants left the pool, swimming turned into wrestling which turned into groping. I kept a wary eye on Jason and except for a bit less exuberance than usual he seemed OK. It helped when Matty turned on Boss mode and firmly suggested that Jason have a good grope of David's obvious bulge. The brown-haired boy held that thick protuberance and couldn't suppress a grin.

"Whoah!" Jason exclaimed, turning to Matty in delight, as if to say, 'OK, now I get it.' He looked up to meet David's eyes and I watched jealousy turn into longing in one second.

"I know what you're going to do when we get upstairs," David said slyly, and shared a glance with Matty. I realized then that Matty had told David about Jason's sparkly reaction to being bossed. He leaned in and whispered into Jason's ear, whose expression turned quickly into delighted, naughty excitement.

"Can we go upstairs now, please Adam?" Jason said, but not taking his eyes off of David.

So up we went, and if anyone had been paying attention they couldn't have missed our collective ardor. No preliminaries were necessary and the instant the door closed behind us it was pretty much "Ready, set, go!"

Matty didn't like it much when David grabbed Jason's hand and took him first into the shower, but when Mikey and I joined Matty for a shower afterward he brightened and had a lovely time with our three-way wash-up. After drying we emerged into the bedroom and found David and Jason already engaged.

The two boys sixty-nined an absolute storm for a long time, Jason savoring David's unusually-thick hairless prick. Matty, Mikey and I followed suit with a "triangle" daisy chain, though I noticed Matty glancing over at David and Jason every few seconds. I couldn't tell if he was admiring their coupling or annoyed by it.

"OK, stop now," David suddenly ordered, and Jason reluctantly, but instantly, obeyed. "Do that same thing with Matty now," David commanded. "I want to see it."

I didn't care for the suspicion that was rising inside me, that David was getting off a little too much on being the Boss. I really liked the kid, and I really liked him for Matty, and I didn't want him to turn out to be a selfish jerk. We all looked to Matty for his reaction.

"Come on, Jason," my boy said, gesturing him forward. "Let's suck our brains out!"

Jason happily fell into Matty's embrace and they quickly kissed, then spun around into the sixty-nine position I had taught Matty, with their bottom thighs forward as a pillow. If either boy felt badly about David's bossiness they sure didn't show it.

"Adam?" Mikey said.

"Yes, Mikey.

The boy rolled to one side and pulled open his narrow butt cheek. "You see anything that looks tasty?"

Now it was David's turn to gape with uncontained lust, for the second he got a look at little Mikey's tiny, tight butt hole his excitement rose to maximum. When I got in there and began to lap at the little pink pucker and Mikey started moaning and begging me to probe deeper and deeper David could only watch and masturbate with abandon. After five minutes or so he said with no trace of bossiness in his voice, "Mike? Can I, maybe, have a taste?"

I chuckled to myself. The signals were mixed as hell, but I thought I was zeroing in on David's horny little nature. While getting his rocks off would always be his number-one priority, I think he really wanted to please his partners as well. He bossed Jason for the same reason Matty did, because Jason liked it, and now he was quite the opposite of bossy, begging Mike for the gift of his little butthole.

I relinquished my position behind Mikey, who was on his knees with his face pressed down to the mattress. David gave me a shy grin as he moved into place, opening Mike's cheeks with his thumbs and taking a shy swipe into the cleft with his tongue. David pulled back for a second and grinned up at me, then dove in and began tonguing the tiny portal with vigor.

Mike sighed and moaned, gasping out little pleasured exclamations and exhortations to go deeper and harder. In sudden inspiration I slipped behind David and parted his muscular cheeks to reveal the dark pink orifice that Matty had plowed so powerfully the first night they met.

"Do it, Adam!" David implored, and plunged back into Mike's sultry passage.

I pressed my face into his sweet-smelling, incredibly beautiful backside. His hole was pliant, ready and open, and I swirled my tongue around and around before plunging it inside just a bit. David moaned into Mike's cavern, and I amused myself imagining that it made an echo. I probed deeper and deeper, David relaxing himself even more if such a thing were possible. Minutes went by, and I became aware of Jason and Matty watching intently.

"David?" Mike said imploringly, "Can you fuck me now? Please?"

I pulled back and said, "Go for it, David. He fucking loves it." I turned to Matty expecting his usual excited voyeaur's anticipation, but instead I saw a look I couldn't quite identify. Whatever it was it wasn't entirely happy.

David may have noticed it, too, because he looked concerned for a moment before brightening with an idea.

"I know a really cool thing for all five of us to do."

We all looked to him, intrigued.

"One time last summer my folks went out for the evening with Mr. and Mrs. Foster. My brother Donny is best friends with their son Andy, so Andy came over to our house and Danny baby-sat for all of us."

"But that's only four," Jason observed. "Danny, Donny, David and Andy."

"Yeah, but I thought of a way to make it work with five. The four of us," David said, will fuck like we did that night, Adam with Matty and me with Mike."

"What will I do then?" Jason asked, a bit wary of being left out.

"You have a very important job, Jason," David intoned seriously. "Do you think you can handle it?"

"How do I know? I don't know what it is!"

David smiled somewhat evilly and said, "You get to lube everybody up, Mike and Matty's butts and our two dicks."

Jason looked crestfallen. "That doesn't sound so important."

"Oh, but there's more," David said. "Adam and I are going to fuck our boys right next to each other, and we're going to do it exactly the same way, the same speed, everything. Then, when we get going, you're going to get behind us with both of your hands all greasy and you're going to put two fingers in my butt and three in Adam's butt, and you're going to finger us the same way we're fucking Mike and Matty! It will be like all five of us are having one great big giant fuck!"

The four of us looked to one another in amazement. Whatever else you might say about it, this was certainly inventive. Jason was sparkling like crazy.

David instructed Mike and Matty to lay on their backs next to each other, their butts up on pillows. Jason lubed everybody up, then David and I knelt between the boys' open legs, and they wrapped them around our waists. I eased my cock into Matty like I had so many times, and as always it felt like the first time. There's nothing more satisfying to me than my boy's velvet tunnel. I glanced to the side and David was settling his thick cock to its deepest place within little Mikey. The small boy looked slightly pained and wonderfully content at the same time.

"It feels different from everybody else," Mike said. "It really opens me wide, almost like Adam, but it doesn't go as deep."

"Does it feel good?" Matty asked.

"Yeah, man! Wait till you feel it!"

"OK, Adam," David said. "Let's start to move. Pull out slow."

I complied, watching David and trying to match. It was hard because I was moving nearly seven inches and he was moving less than four, but in a couple of pumps we hit a nice rhythm.

"Oh, man!" Mikey exclaimed. "It's just touching that button inside me, just a little. I just know I'm going to cum!"

I looked down into my boy's beautiful eyes. "How are you doing, Matty?" I asked.

He smiled and sighed loudly. "Really good, Adam. Really good."

"Jason," David said. "We're going to kiss hard now and really, really fuck. You get those fingers in and give it to our butts just as hard!"

David leaned down and locked lips with Mikey, who engaged with him with his usual surplus of excitement. I hurried to catch up, pressing down on Matty's lips and fucking him with all the passion our love could produce. I could have forgotten the other boys crowded around us and focused only on my sweet lover, but then I felt the sudden intrusion of Jason giving me the three-fingered salute.

It didn't hurt, not exactly, but it was a bit clumsy and not precisely aligned. I heard David's muffled exclamation as he, too, was impaled, but his sounded a lot more like pleasure. In a few seconds we all synchronized our strokes and damned if it wasn't just like a big, giant five-way fuck, all of us moving and panting and grunting our way toward ecstasy.

I think Mikey came first. It sounded like his cry of joy muffled by David's searching mouth. Then I recognized Matty's convulsive bucking and knew he was there, too. I drove my hips in lock-step with David's and felt my own rush beginning, and then lost track of everything else as my cum spewed into my lover's twitching body. I can only assume that David came, because he never said he didn't. Jason rode out all of our orgasms, then slowly eased his tired fingers back and out. We all fell to the bed in random directions.

Jason roused first, rolling off the bed and heading for the bathroom. I heard the water running in the sink, and in a few minutes he was back with a wet washcloth.

"Oh, that's sweet of you, Jason," I said, "but I think we're going to need showers to remove this much lube."

"And one of us has to clean up cum!" Matty said, getting a laugh.

We all started organizing ourselves for cleanup when I noticed a slightly unhappy look on Jason's face. I saw that he still had a raging hard-on and realized that he had gotten pretty short schrift on that cluster-fuck. I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and bent down to speak directly to him.

"How about if I do something special for you, Jason?" I said. "Tell me what you think would be really good."

Jason looked to Matty, as if seeking permission, and Matty just smiled encouragingly.

"Could I maybe have a nice blow job?" he asked a bit sheepishly. "Not fancy, nobody hanging from the rafters or anything," he said in a small dig at David's elaborate setup. "Like maybe I could just sit on the couch and you could get on your knees and just give me a nice blow job?"

"You've got it," I said, and you know, it pleased me to no end to perform that simple act for him. I sucked him slowly and sensuously, feeling every tremor within him and reacting in the way I thought would please him best. It lasted a long time, the whole time everyone else was showering, and he writhed and ran his fingers through my hair and bucked his hips up from the sofa until I really thought he was going to get there, but then with a sigh he lost the momentum and once again failed to reach the summit. I felt bad for him, but he smiled happily and carressed my cheek.

"It's OK, Adam," he said. "I love your blow jobs, and that was a great one."

As the afternoon waned David had one last request, something he wanted to do with me. I had no idea what it might be, but I put myself in his devious, capable hands. He had me sit on the edge of the bed, then lay back so that my feet were still on the floor, my cock straining upward. I pulled up my knees as Matty lubed my asshole and Mikey lubed David's cock. David then stepped between my legs, angling his hips under me like he was doing a not-very-deep Limbo dance and pulling my hips a little more off the bed. Before I knew it his short, thick stiffness began to enter me. It wasn't like the men who had been in there, certainly, but the very head and perhaps a little more made it just inside and his tiny thrusts very pleasantly titilated my anus.

David thrust and thrust, a trouper if nothing else, until he was panting and sweaty. It was awkward and physically uncomfortable, but also inventive, exciting and memorable. Even though neither of us came by the time muscle fatigue forced him to extricate himself, we agreed we were glad we tried it.

Once.

Hours later I was putting a very tired Matty to bed after a very subdued evening at home. We had discussed the afternoon's sex, and I was gratified that he seemed to genuinely appreciate our extremely passionate fuck side-by-side with David and Mike.

"I really felt our love," he said. "I mean, I always feel it, like even right now, but it was really special today."

I kissed him tenderly. "It's always special with you, my love."

He smiled, but with some uncertainty in his eyes. "Adam?"

"Yes, Matty."

"Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at the same time?"

I smiled indulgently, knowing where this was going. "Yes, of course," I said. "A prime example is how I love you with all my heart, and I also love your Mom with all my heart. There's no such thing as too much love."

"And you love the guys a little bit, too, right?" he asked. "Jason and Mike and Jeremy... and David?"

"Yes," I said, but I hastened to clarify. "It's different, though. I'm very fond of the boys, and it certainly is a kind of love, but it's not the same as the way I love you and your Mom. That's the kind of love that takes over your whole heart, and you feel like you couldn't live without it. You love so hard it hurts."

He was silent for a moment, then he said, "David still didn't fuck me today. I thought he would."

"You could ask him to," I said. "Let him know how you feel."

Matty didn't answer for several seconds, then said,"He was sure hot to fuck Mike. Heck, he even fucked you."

"Sort of," I said. "But it was like you always say, a kiddie fuck. He really just tickled my hole with his dick head."

"But you liked it, right?"

"Well, yes, as far as it went," I said. "To be honest it made me wish I was with a grownup who could really fill me up."

"It made me wish I was the one he was fucking and not you," Matty said. "Is that bad? Am I a bad boyfriend for you?"

I hugged him reassuringly. "No, baby, of course not," I said. "I know you have a crush on David, and that's OK. You're allowed. He's great, and besides you get to feel what you feel and want what you want."

"But he doesn't seem to care," Matty said, the longing rising in his voice. "It could be me or Jason or Mike, or Gene or Patrick."

"His two friends you met the other day?"

"Yeah. It's like we're all the same to him."

My heart melted for my sweet, hurting boy. "And you want to be special, I know," I said. "Look, it hasn't even been a week yet. He's probably overwhelmed with all the new friends and all the attention he's getting from everybody. And you know he likes you big time, the way he latched onto you the first second in Home Room."

"Yeah, I guess," Matty said, brightening a bit.

"Why don't you give it some time?" I said. "Be there for him, be his friend, and see where it goes. After all, it's pretty cool being David's friend, isn't it?"

Matty smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"OK, go to sleep now. I love you."

"Love you too, Adam," he said, and we kissed one of our better goodnight kisses.

By the time we were three weeks into the daily grind of the school pick-up nonsense something had to give. Fortunately just before the villagers marched on the school with torches and pitchforks everybody received a note sent home with their child. There had been so many complaints about the half-hour daily ordeal in the pickup lane that the school was begging parents in the walk/bike zone to organize car pools, providing detailed instructions and pre-printed calendars to help parents keep track of whose turn was when, while the school took on the record-keeping of which parents had permission to pick up which children. (Remember, this was two decades before a smartphone app would have made such a thing a piece of cake.)

By then Matty and David had become undisputed best friends, to some consternation on the part of Jason, but he was happily submissive to both of them so it was actually fine. We four parents got extremely close as well, building on the friendly co-worker rapport Susan and Phil already had and the shared misery of the pickup lane for Arlene and me. We had already done a backyard barbecue and group outings to an amusement park and the movies, and even had plans for the four adults to go out on a double-date while the oldest Walker boy Danny sat for his brothers and Matty.

This foursome also made an obvious core for a car pool, since David, Jason and Mike were walk/bike kids as well. Barbara Quinn and Mary Edwards were quickly recruited, but Jeremy was a bus kid and we couldn't think of a fifth, which would have meant each parent only had to drive once a week. The boys decided that they didn't want any non-swimmers horning in, a reference only I realized was to our "swim parties" at the condo. They argued to the Moms that a car could not safely seat five boys plus an adult driver, so they had to keep it to four, and the grownups bought it.

It was further decided, since Matty and Mike had been Park District after-school kids and both said they missed it, that David and Jason would join, too, and the day's designated car pool Mom would pick all four boys up at school and take them to the Park District, and the same car pool Mom would pick them all up again at six o'clock and distribute them to their various homes. Despite being two pickups in a day instead of one, it was only every fourth school day, and there were far fewer cars in the pickup lane, and thus it was more tolerable.

I good-naturedly accepted the title of "car pool Mom" as well.

This arrangement was very flexible for us parents, too. One afternoon I had a meeting run late and turn into a working dinner. Unlike the debacle when I was late picking Matty up, it was Arlene's car pool day she just kept Matty at her house after the Park District. He had dinner and did his homework with David, and everybody was happy. I gratefully told Arlene I looked forward to returning the favor someday. That day came on her very next turn at car pool.

I was going over some new contract language at my desk when my cell rang and I saw the name on the display.

"Hi, Arlene," I said. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm sorry to impose, Adam," she said in a harried tone, "but can you possibly cover car pool this afternoon for me."

I knew my calendar was clear. "Sure," I said quickly, thinking of her mother. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine," she said. "I just forgot it was my day when I agreed to help my cousin Alice address the invitations to her husband's surprise birthday party. There are nearly a hundred of the damn things. I think Alice invited everyone the man ever met."

"Happy to help," I said.

"Not done being a pain yet," she said. "I don't know exactly how late I'll be and Danny has his after-school job until ten, so can you just take David home with you for dinner and I'll pick him up later?"

"Absolutely," I said. "Matty will be thrilled. What about Donny?"

"He was already scheduled to have dinner with his friend Andy's family. They live just on the next block."

"Sounds like a plan," I said. "Call me when you're on your way and I'll have David ready and waiting."

"Thanks, Adam," she said. "It's so great to have somebody I can absolutely trust with my kid."

I felt a small pang of guilt, since the real reason I wanted her to call before arriving was so that we'd have time to pull our cocks out of each other's mouths and throw some clothes on.

The guilt passed.

As predicted Matty was thrilled to have David over for dinner. I put some cheeseburgers on the backyard grill, sliced a couple of fat beefsteak tomatoes and boiled the last of the late-summer sweet corn from the farm stand, which was devoured in record time by two ravenous boys and one amazed man. After dinner David excused himself to the bathroom and Matty spoke to me quietly.

"Adam, is it OK if David and I go up to my room alone?"

I wasn't surprised. Matty had been crushing hard on this boy for three weeks and as far as I could tell got only friendship and casual sex play in return. Maybe some alone time would help move things along.

"Sure, sweetheart," I said. "I understand. You guys have fun."

Matty kissed me sweetly, expressing thanks with his eyes, and when David returned Matty silently took him by the hand and led him up the stairs. David looked back at me, surprised I wasn't following.

"You guys go ahead," I said. "I have some work to do."

An hour later my phone rang. It was Arlene telling me she was on her way, so I went upstairs and knocked softly on Matty's bedroom door. "David, your Mom will be here in ten minutes."

"Um... OK Adam," came David's voice through the door, but it was not the strong and confident alto I was used to from him. I smiled as I imagined the two beautiful boys locked together in unprecedented intimacy, never wanting to break such a bond but knowing it had to be done. I went back down the stairs because even through a closed door I felt like I was intruding.

A few minutes later I heard the two quick toots of a car horn in our driveway. I opened the front door and waved to Arlene, holding up my index finger in the "Just one minute" gesture. I went to the bottom of the stairs and called up loudly, "David! Your Mom's waiting outside!"

I heard Matty's door open and then sharply close again, and I was surprised when a clearly agitated and confused David hurried down the stairs. He made worried eye contact as he passed and grabbed up his backpack.

"Tell Matty I'm sorry," David said, looking imploringly into my eyes. "I didn't mean to make him upset, honest!" He pushed open the front door and turned to look back to me as he stepped through. "Tell him he's the best friend I ever had and I hope he still wants to be."

I stood there agape as the door closed behind him and watched through the sidelight window as he forced a smile and climbed into the back seat of his Mom's Toyota. With an obliviously happy wave to me Arlene drove off and I scowled in wonder of what might have happened. Whatever Matty had wanted privacy for had gone horribly wrong.

I paused outside Matty's door and tapped. "Hey Matty, can I come in?"

"Go away," Matty said with no conviction whatsoever.

I opened the door enough to poke my head inside. Matty was lying on his bed facing the wall, nude, his torso heaving and little whimpering sounds escaping him. I stepped inside and approached carefully. I said nothing as I sat on the bed next to him and placed a comforting hand on his bare shoulder.

"Oh, Adam!" he said heavily as he turned and crushed himself against me, his head on my shoulder and tears leaping from his eyes. He cried openly, his vulnerable little body wracked with sobs. I simply held him and patted his back, whispering into his ear the meaningless reassurances we give when there's nothing we can really say to help. He cried and cried, harder than I'd ever seen. Oh, he had cried before from physical pain, most notably the time I ravaged his poor virgin butt hole in the name of love, but I'd never seen him like this.

His tender little heart was broken.

"Why doesn't he love me?" my poor boy wailed. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Matty," I said softly, cuddling him to me like a toddler. "You're an amazing, wonderful boy, and I love you more than you can ever know."

"But why doesn't he love me?" he cried. "I love him so much it hurts!"

"I know, baby, I know," I said, stroking his blond hair and kissing his forehead. "Sometimes love is hard."

Matty pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "It isn't hard for you and me," he said, the tears still streaming freely. "And me and David are so perfect together."

"I know, honey," I said, trying to smile. "Love is a tricky thing. You can't figure it out. You can't make it happen. The best you can do is recognize it when it comes around and give yourself to it."

"I did!" Matty blubbered, losing it again. "But he didn't!"

I let him empty his tears ducts for a minute. "Come on," I finally said, sitting him upright and wiping his wet cheeks with my fingers. "Tell me what happened."

Matty took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down enough to talk. "I did what you told me. I told him that I wanted him to fuck me. I said he'd fucked everybody else, even you, and I really wanted him to."

"And he didn't want to?" I asked in surprise.

"No, he did," Matty said, "and it was amazing just like I thought it would be. We did it three different ways, and ended up with me on my back with my legs wrapped around his waist, and we were kissing and kissing and he fucked me really hard. And he came first but I begged him to keep going `cause I was almost there, and he did, and when I was cumming I told him over and over that I loved him and I wanted to be his boyfriend."

"And that's when he said he didn't want to?"

"No," Matty said. "He kissed me and kissed me some more and kept his dick in me a long time, and I was super happy that he loved me too."

"I guess I don't understand, Matty," I said. "It sounds wonderful to me."

"It was, but then you know how it goes; you come down and your dick goes soft and the sex is over," he said sadly. "And we were lying there saying how great the sex was and everything, and I said I was so happy he was going to be my boyfriend and I couldn't wait to go out on dates with him, and he looked at me funny and asked me what the heck I was talking about."

"He didn't know you were serious about it, huh?"

"No," Matty said, his eyes threatening to flood once more. "He said he thought it was just what guys say when they're cumming, and that two boys can't be real boyfriends, that boys have girlfriends, and someday him and me will have our own girlfriends." Matty looked down at his hands. "He probably thinks I'm weird now, that I'm a queer, and he won't want to be around me anymore."

I took Matty's hands in mine and made him look me in the eye. "That's not true," I said, smiling. "On the way out he said he's sorry he made you upset and that he hopes you still want to be his best friend."

A flicker of brightness appeared on Matty's face, then dimmed. "But not boyfriend."

"It kind of sounds like all he wants is a best friend he can fool around with," I said. "And in fact he has a right to want what he wants even if it doesn't match up with what you want."

That was not the answer Matty was looking for, but he nodded resignedly.

"Remember the first time we took Jason to the condo to swim?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Remember when we were dropping him off at home, and he kissed you? Remember what he said?"

"He said he loved me," Matty reluctantly admitted.

"And did you love him back?"

"No, not that way."

"And did you think he was a queer and not want to be his friend anymore?"

A sly smile turned up just the corners of his mouth. "I knew he was a queer, but that was OK with me."

I smiled, glad that Matty at least tried to joke. "Sounds to me like all you wanted was a best friend you could fool around with."

"Oh, Adam!" Matty cried in sudden realization. "Do you think I made Jason feel as bad as I feel now? I never meant to do that!"

"I don't think so, sweetheart," I said, giving his hands one more tight squeeze before letting go. "He never acted mad at you, did he?"

"No," he said. "We kept on being friends, just like before."

"And so will you and David, if that's what you want," I said. "You have a decision to make, because you have just as much right to want what you want as he does. If it will really be too painful to be around David and mess around with him, and watch him mess around with other boys then you can be the one to choose not to hang out together anymore."

"No!" Matty cried in alarm. "I still love him, no matter what."

"OK, then," I said. "You have to learn to live with the amount of love he's willing to give back. He does love you, you know, like a best friend. If that can be enough for you, then it'll be OK."

Matty thought about it for a while, saying nothing. Finally he said, "Adam?"

"Yes Matty"

"I don't want to do sex tonight, but I really really want to feel every bit of your love."

I smiled at my sweet, adorable boyfriend.

"Tonight," he continued, "can you give me a bath like I was a little baby? You do everything for me, but no fooling around. Put me to bed naked, and you be naked too and spoon up behind me. I know you'll get a boner and that's OK. I want to feel it against me, because that's part of how I feel your love. Don't move, don't hump, just hold me tight and press your boner against me until I fall asleep, OK?"

God damn it was hard not to fuck him.

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Next time:

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