The Boy was there, standing in front of him, silent.
He didn't know his name, but he knew he was there for him. It was the first time he had seen him, but he felt they had known each other forever. They had been created for each other. The Boy wore a wide shirt and soft trousers hiding his shape, and yet he felt, or better he knew, that they hid a perfect body. A ripe virility, still untouched but ready to be picked. He would now taste the fruit, he would be the first to savor it. And he would show the Boy a new world, new and unknown pleasures, that would make the Boy, at least, a man.
He slowly lifted his hands to the Boy, looking at his beauty. A perfect face, framed by thick black hair, soft and curly. He looked at his dark eyes, bright like stars, deep like wells and saw a rainbow of emotions pass in those eyes: awe, waiting, acceptance, desire, wavering.
His hands reached the Boy and quivered and his feelings washed over him, wrapping him like a warm and sweet wave. Quietly, his feverish fingers started to unbutton the Boy's shirt and the entire universe seemed to hold its breath. Together, they both, in an absolute and deafening silence, waited for the miracle to be accomplished. Now, just those two deep dark eyes existed that seemed to attract him like a magnet. His fingertips lightly brushed the fresh skin of the Boy and that made him vibrate like harp strings. The shudder reverberated in the Boy's body like in a sound box and the sun shone more bright and warm.
He heard his voice murmur to the Boy, warm and sensual:
"Come... nobody will disturb us, come..."
Just at that moment, the doorbell demandingly rang many times. He knew that it was Them. They knew. They were coming to separate them, to prevent it from happening, to keep him away from him.
His heart was in his mouth, (he knew that he didn't have a way out)...
FIRST
He opened his eyes and realized that it was the telephone ringing. Dazed, he pulled an arm out from the cover.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Carla."
"Oh, Carla..."
"What happened? Did I wake you up?"
"What? Yes... I was dreaming."
"But, good grief, it's five P.M.! Was it a nice dream?"
"Yes, wonderful..."
"Sorry... what were you dreaming?"
"I was close to making a conquest..."
"Oh, what a pity... well, happily it was just a dream. Then, casually, I'll never forgive myself... Was she gorgeous?"
"Yes, a dream!" Piero answered, smiling to himself, and asking himself what would his friend have said if she knew he was dreaming a "he" and not a "she".
Carla giggled, "Listen, Piero, what are you doing tonight? Do you have any plans?"
"I don't know... No... why?"
"I want to invite you for supper. Beppe called me from Bologna saying he cannot come back tonight. He's coming tomorrow. So... would you have supper with me?"
"Well, yes, thank you."
"Then I'll pick you up. We are going to Villa Sassi, is that OK?"
"Goodness! But it's very expensive!"
"It's on me, come on."
"OK, thank you, but..."
"We have to celebrate."
"Celebrate? I hope it isn't your birthday today. Did I forget it?"
"No, no. I'm an Aquarius, you know that."
"Your saint's day?"
"No, no... come and I'll tell you. I'll pick you up an hour, at six. OK? Do you think you can be ready?"
"All right... You made me curious..."
"Well. See you soon, then. I'm sorry about your dream..." his friend's joyful voice said and he heard her hang up.
He hung up the receiver and got out of the bed. Lazily stretching, he looked at his image reflected in the mirror. He smiled at his erection that was just starting to subside, and looked with pleasure at his bare body. Smiling at his image, he said, "Hello, Narcissus!"
He went to shower. A short yell at the first jet of cold water, then he adjusted the faucets until he obtained the right warmth, then started vigorously to wash. He recalled his dream. Who could that boy be? Beautiful, however! Too beautiful to be real. If only he could meet someone like that... He tried to recall his shape, but he discovered that he didn't even remember where they were, if in his flat or elsewhere...
"He was a virgin, but he desired me..." he said to himself in a low voice.
He finished his shower, toweled off, and blew dried his hair, arranging it with his fingers. He put his watch back on and looked at it. Yes, he was on time. He got on the scale - seventy two kilos. Perfect. He went back to his room and chose his clothes. If they were going to Villa Sassi to "celebrate", perhaps Carla expected him to wear formal, elegant clothes... He chose his pearl gray suit with a sports cut, a shirt of light lilac, and a necktie that was just a bit darker shade of lilac. He dressed, checked his tie in the mirror, and re-arranged again his hair with his fingers. Pleased, he emptied the pockets and transferred the content to his suit, verifying how much money he had in his wallet before putting it back in his pocket.
Carla rang the bell and Piero answered speaker and went downstairs immediately.
"So, Carla, what are we going to celebrate?"
"Curious man. Get into the car, come on!"
They started off.
"First we are going to drink an aperitif at Baratti's."
"Wow! Full course, then! But... so, what's the matter?"
"Beppe made up his mind, he's going to marry me." Carla answered trying to give a casual tone to her voice, but not really succeeding in that.
"Hey, wonderful! You succeeded in making him decide, at last!"
"No, no. It's more than a year since I mentioned it to him. I knew that by insisting, I was risking losing him. No, he came to that decision on his own. On the contrary, when he told me, and I understood that he was really serious; I took the luxury of asking him to think it over well, that there was no hurry..."
"Ah! And he?"
"Nothing. He asked, 'Did you change your mind?' And I said, 'No.' He then said, 'Let's get married'."
"And when is the ceremony?"
"In three months, in June. And, I would like you to be my best man."
"Me?" Piero asked sincerely, pleased but surprised, "Why me?"
"And why not you? You are my dearest friend and we know each other for more than ten years, right? You are the most handsome of all my male friends..."
Piero smiled, "More than your Beppe?"
"Yes, at least for me. Anyway, I will never ever marry you!" Carla said with a playfully solemn voice.
"And why?"
"Because... Well, I feel you are too much of a brother to make follies in bed with!"
"And... with Beppe you do follies?"
"You can bet!"
"After three years that you lived together? No routine?"
"Absolutely not, but... would you please tend to your own business? Are those questions to ask a colleague? What a rude person!" Carla answered and both burst into laughter.
"Well..." Piero said justifying himself, but continuing to joke, "... perhaps at the bottom of my soul I'm a little bit of... a voyeur."
"I never asked you what you do in bed with your girls, right?"
"No, that's right..."
"And if I asked you, would you tell me?"
"Well, no, I really think not..."
"You see!"
Piero thought, 'No, even though I never fucked a girl. I don't know how you would react if I told you that I fuck only with men like myself'.
He liked a lot Carla. They had been school mates in High School and later at the University. After graduation, they had lost contacts, but two years before, they found themselves as teachers in the same High School, Piero was a taught Italian in sections E and F and Carla in sections G and H. From that day on they started to meet and their friendship had cemented. Carla often told him about her relation with Beppe, a thirty two years old barrister with whom she lived, but Piero never found the courage to tell Carla that he had discovered that he was gay.
Piero had a strange sexual life. He had been a late bloomer, reaching puberty around his fifteenth year. Growing up in a protected and middle class milieu, until that age he didn't have either a sexual drive nor experiences. His first nocturnal ejaculation had shaken him a little, he clearly remembered it. It had happened one month before his fifteenth birthday, in March.
This summer, at the seaside, a cousin the same age, but more developed than him, taught him to masturbate. But, each one by himself. After that Piero didn't have any more contacts with other boys or men, but continued to masturbate some two or three times a week. Normally he did it in his bed, before falling asleep. But while doing it, he didn't have any sexual fantasy, he simply enjoyed the sensations he was giving himself and the final pleasure of the orgasm. After that soon he fell asleep, satisfied, sated.
The fact that he wasn't attracted to the girls (but neither to the boys, at that time) didn't worry him. When his friends were talking about their experiences, their conquests, he played the game devising plausible stories, so as not to be judged strange by the others.
The second year at the University, when he was twenty years old, quite suddenly he understood he was gay. It was May, he was going to fetch his mother, who had gone to Viverone, to visit her father. Along the way, he suddenly felt the need to go to the toilet. Afraid that he couldn't wait until he reached his destination, he stopped the car on the side of the road and got out of the car. Entering the nearby grove to do what he needed far away from indiscreet eyes, he had advanced between the trees and freed himself.
Returning to the road, he heard a breaking branch. Thinking he was being followed, he stopped to see who it was. He turned around, looked everywhere but nobody was in sight. He was about to resume his way, when he heard a voice saying something in a whisper. The tone made him curious, again he looked around, more carefully. Then he noticed that on his right, in the thicket, some low branches were waving in a funny way. Still, silent, he waited in curiosity and soon he heard the voice again. This time, he could distinguish the words, "But, be careful... I never took it, you know it!"
At first, Piero didn't understand. A second voice said, "Yes, yes, come on... widen your legs more and bend more... You'll see, I'll make you like it even more than you like it in your mouth..."
Now Piero started to guess what was happening and also noticed that they were two male voices. Never having had sex before didn't mean he wasn't without knowledge about those things. From his friends talks, he understood that they were two "pederasts" (as they were called at that time) that were coupling there, in the midst of the trees and bushes in full day light, sure that they were alone. He smiled to himself and was about to go back to his car, when he heard the first voice murmur,
"Take it easy... Use more butter!"
Piero smiled, he knew that Vaseline was used, he never heard about butter... Then the same voice said, "Shit, it seems bigger than ever! Go slow, please..."
Piero decided that he wanted to see them. Trying not to make any noise, he approached, lead by the rhythmic waving of the branches. Was it luck or skill, but he succeeded in approaching the two males without a single cracking to betray his presence, and without them realizing they were being spied upon. He crouched between the bushes, near enough and with very few obstacles in the way to watch the two young men that were joined in an energetic embrace.
He was fascinated. One was a young man around twenty five years old, wearing Agip Gasoline Stand overalls, open and half lowered. He had a strong but lean body. The other was a boy between seventeen and nineteen. His trousers lowered to his ankles, his T-shirt raised under his armpits. He was bent over and leaning on a tree with one hand. Piero saw the muscles darting, the hands groping and fumbling. The young man's rod hammering, hard and in rhythm between the firm buttocks of the boy that he was meanwhile rapidly masturbating with one hand. But what held his attention most, was the intense expressions of pleasure on both to him. Piero couldn't move his eyes from the scene, so unexpected and new for him. When he saw the two bodies tense, and both reach in rapid sequence an orgasm; the expressions of intense pleasure on the two faces (the youngest one his mouth opened in a silent yell, the eldest enraptured in bliss) he felt his body shake. He felt like he too was reaching such a peak of pleasure.
The two separated (quite like in a slow motion movie) and cleaned each other's organs, still erect and throbbing. In silence, they put their clothes in order. Then they French kissed for a while, then the older man asked the other, caressing his hair, "Did you enjoy it?"
"A lot."
"Did I hurt you?"
"A little bit, but who cares!"
"That way it's better than just sucking it, right?"
"Yes, you were right."
"Will you come again, tomorrow?"
"Yes, but... I'd like to do it in a bed..."
He watched them leave, whispering, still half embracing. When they were out of sight, Piero let out a deep sigh and stood up. He felt a little stunned and he realized, with a slight surprise, but with a smile, that he had a remarkable hard-on. He shook his head and went back to his car.
He went to pick up his mother and went home with her, but his thoughts were filled by the scene enacted in the afternoon between the trees The two young and well built bodies (it was the first time he had seen an erection since that of his cousin five years before!) and the two faces in ecstasy, the tenderness of the after coitus (ah, that long kiss deep into the mouth!). He guessed that the two youths were lovers, that what he had seen was not a simple adventure...
So, that same night in his bed, for the first time he immersed himself in erotic fantasies, fancying being together with one of the two lovers, or perhaps with both at the same time. He masturbated... and reached an orgasm before he usually did and with a lot more pleasure and intensity.
He fell asleep at once and slept till morning. When he woke up, he didn't remember having any dreams. But a thought, for the first time, clear and precise arose in his head, I am a faggot! I, too! I want a male! It wasn't a shock nor a surprise, it was a simple and plain acknowledgment he accepted as soon as he expressed it.
"But, how can I find a friend, a partner who... a man to help me live my sexuality, helping me express it, wanting to try that with me? I don't know any faggots..."
For the moment he set aside that problem and prepared to go to the University. But yet on the way he realized that now he was looking at boys, at males at large, his schoolmates with completely different eyes. A Copernican revolution had happened in him, he had realized that it is not the sun turning around the earth, but vice versa. The world didn't appear to him any more to be composed of men and women, but by desirable men and... others. The others were women, children, old people, uninteresting men.
But amongst the desirable men, who, like him, was a faggot? How to understand that, how to know that, how to discover that? They must exist, of course, he thought. Once he had read, without a real interest, but now he was recalling that, that for sure one man in ten is a homosexual.
So, he thought during the lesson, in this classroom there were about eighty, and about thirty five are males, of those, twenty have a quite nice body... so at least two... (no, not two, just one besides himself...) must be a faggot among the desirable ones. And in all the Faculty, dozens of faggots!
For about a month, those thoughts, or very similar ones, accompanied him almost constantly. And every night he masturbated, each time thinking of a different male, a school friend, or an actor, or just a passerby and, at times, of those two he has seen there in the bushes.
During the day his eyes caressed the bodies of handsome males he saw, stopped on their trouser flies, trying to fancy the hidden shapes, and he was heightened with desire and was excited by thousands of erotic fantasies (at that time more or less limited to what he had seen those two doing...)
He had difficulties with his studies, his head was full of his new discovery. At home, his family realized he had become absentminded, but they didn't worry too much, because they saw him merry, or at least serene. Piero was serene indeed, but he had the feeling he had wasted a lot of time, a part of his life, and he felt the urgency to make up for lost time, even if he didn't know where to start.
One day he saw a small ad on the Outpatient's bulletin board of the hospital where he had gone to have X rays taken for a suspected broken finger (after a bad fall while playing tennis). The small poster advertised an association, or a group, and there was a telephone number, it was for Info-Gay. Piero at once felt excited, electrified. He memorized the telephone number then later wrote it on his notebook intending to call as soon as possible to get information. He collected the X ray results, no broken bones. As soon as he was outside, he looked for a public phone and dialed the number. His heart was beating loudly and when he phone was answered, he barely managed to say, "I'm twenty, male, I would like to meet other men like me, but I don't know how to do..." and became silent.
"Are you gay?" the voice at the other end asked.
"Uh?" Piero asked in confusion.
"Yes, are you a gay man?"
"Yes... I think so..."
"You think, you say?" the anonymous voice asked, vaguely amused.
"Well, I... I haven't have any experiences, but I believe... I think I'll enjoy it..."
"Yes, I see. Do you have paper and a pen? Can you write?"
"Just a moment... Yes, go on."
The voice started to dictate names and addresses, bars, discos, saunas, associations, newsstands selling gay magazines, etc. Piero was writing all, fast, more and more astounded at the list's length. At the end the voice said, "We don't give the addresses of parks or toilets where to cruise, but if you are interested in them, you can find them in two very good guides, one in English is called Spartacus, and the other in Italian is called Guida Gay Italia. You can buy those in the newsstands where I told you. And, he even was given addresses of gay porno video shops. Anyway you can call again, if you like..."
"Thank you, thanks a lot."
"Bye-bye, and best wishes. You have a sexy voice... who knows if one day we can meet..."
"What? Ah, yes, sure. What's your name?" stunned Piero asked, but the other end, with a last "Bye-bye," had hung up!