Almost Heaven

Part 6

From that weird fucking guy

Eric Murphey

When I wake up I'm so excited I can hardly not jump up and down with anticipation. I go pee quickly and see its just dawn so I know the boys will sleep a bit longer. Shoot Oliver is a teenager he might sleep until noon or later. But not today. No sirree Bob. I get dressed and I smile at my t-shirt. I put on the hat I see on top of my dresser and go and punch coffee into the IGM. It is perfect as always. I take a sip then punch in bacon. I never knew a boy that wouldn't wake up to the smell of bacon. Even I wake up to the smell. I think my goodness what wreaks Oh bacon. But I'm weird as I have mentioned. But most people will smell that and their tummy will get all excited after their olfactories kick in. I take it out and put it on the table and wait. Colt is first followed by Oliver. Who actually runs into him because Colt stopped to look at what I did.

"What the.…"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Santa came and brought you boys some presents."

Last night I put up a tree and got it all decorated. I then asked God to give me what the boys biggest wishes for presents had been so he could give them to them. I punch in cinnamon rolls so the boys can eat something. I figure while one is opening a present the other can be munching on a roll. I also get two glasses of milk.

The entire time they are just staring at the tree.

"Micah isn't it June?" Colt asks me.

"Nope its Christmas. Now you boys sit your cute buns on the couch and lets get this gift giving going."

They both keep staring at the tree. It does look really great. Its like a professional did it. But I imagine I had divine intervention seeing as how my abilities to decorate are how to make my bed. So not great for sure.

They sit down and I hand Colt a present.

"I figure since hes youngest he goes first."
"Makes sense." Oliver says. But I can see hes pretty worried that once again he has no presents.

"Oh my gosh. I never got a present before." he says excited and looking from me to it to Oliver and back again.

"Well, open it up or your gonna be the Goofasuarus."

"Nu uh." he says and starts ripping the paper off.

"Man this is so cool. I always wanted a PlayStation. I heard all the kids always talking about them and always wanted to try it. Do you know how Ollie? Can you teach me?" Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Sure. I would love too." He tells him catching his happiness.

"Oliver this one is for you." I tell him handing him his present.

He opens it up and starts crying. He tries it on.

"I always wanted to play baseball. I got to hear my brothers tell me how much fun it was. How I was missing out. Will you play catch with me later Colt?"
"I don't know how."
"Micah can you help me?"
I cant help but grin.

"Buckaroo I would love too."
"Uh oh hes starting with the names for you." Colt tells him.

"You calm down there potato pants."
This gets us all laughing a minute.

After a while the presents get too far away for me to just grab so the boys run and grab the next one for the other. Let me tell you they got one heck of a haul. There's one gift left and Colt runs to grab it. Even though he just got the last one. He figures grab his last one himself.

"It says its for you Micah." he says looking at it as he is walking towards me.

"There must be some mistake."
"No says it right there." he says pointing at the tag and hands it to me.

"What in the world could this be?"
"Ya gotta open it to find out. He says I'm the Goofasuarus." Colt says bumping his elbow into Oliver's side. Making them both laugh.

I take the paper off and then open the box. I smile and cry at the same time as I pull out the puppet.

"Its Pinocchio right?" Colt asks.

"Yes. Yes it is. I always wanted one because I never felt like a real boy either."
They both know what I'm feeling and both without hesitation come to me and wrap their arms around me. Hugging me so tight. I can feel the love from them radiate into my soul healing that part of me just a little bit more. These things take time. Even in Shamallah someone as broken as me takes a while to heal.

"So I guess you boys are going to video game it for a while?" I ask.

"Nah we can do that later. I never wanted a baseball mitt before I heard Ollie saying how he wanted one. Lets go play catch Micah."

Oliver grins ear to ear and breaks from me and hugs Colt.

"I love you Colt." he tells him.

"I love you too Ollie." he tells him and kisses him on the cheek.

"And I love you both." I say and wrap my arms around both of them and lean over pulling them on the couch.
"OH NO ITS TICKLE TIME!!!!!!!"
"Noooooo." Colt halfheartedly tries to get away and I start in tickling both boys. Working back and forth when one starts to calm a bit I move back so I am going back and forth quick and we are loving it. I finally stop when they swear they are going to pee for the second time and I say I don't care.

They do actually rush off and go pee. I take off my Santa hat because I think it will be hot outside.

They come back out both in shorts and t-shirts. One for the Rangers the other for the Cardinals. I grab a mitt and a few balls from the closet. HM How did I know they would be there? Love this place.

So for the next couple hours I guide two boys that are clueless about baseball other than they want to know how to play. They are eager students for sure. They listen and do as I explain. We go through the basics and soon they are throwing more on target then not. I notice Colt is a little afraid of the ball.

I walk over to him.

"I used to be afraid of the ball. You know how my father taught me to catch it and not be afraid of it?"
"Nu huh."
"He took me behind a building he was working on. It had a brick wall he put me against that wall with a glove. Then he threw balls as hard as he could at me for what seemed like forever. But what I learned was that sure it hurts if it hits you. That's why you catch it instead."
"He sounds like my fathers brother or something." Colt tells me half stunned by my revelation.

"Besides I also learned that the ball hurt. But not nearly as much as my father punching me. So I knew I could take it after the first couple. Then I wasn't scared anymore."
"That makes sense." he smiles at me and tosses it back to Oliver.

They throw it back and forth a good while. Tossing them high in the air even on purpose most of the time. But sometimes one would get away from them and some chasing was involved.

"Alright boys. I know that you are having lots of fun. But you are new to this and your arms will be sore later. I shouldn't have let you play this long I don't think."
They both smile at me and bring it in to the porch.

"You guys have fun?" I ask them.

"Yeah." They both tell me with words and their smiles.

"You are such good boys. Now go play your games for a while."

Grins and mutual "Cools." was what I got. I sit down on the porch and look upward and smile.

"Thank you. I know it was something really special for them." I say and rock gently for a little while. I'm not 13 or 9. I'm just a smidgen older. I'm thinking its about time for lunch seeing as how my tummy is rumbly. I head in and have the machine make hot dogs and Cheetos. I figure it will be easy for them to eat while they play. That and I like a good wiener once in a while. Pun most assuredly intended. I set the plates on the counter then get some ice cold Texas juice. MM Dr Pepper and some dogs and Cheetos. Life doesn't get better unless we had chili dogs. But they are messy and they boys would have a real mess if I did that. They grunted at me to acknowledge the food. Which makes me happy because they are becoming normal boys. I go sit at the table and eat my lunch. Man is it good too. I haven't had a good hot dog in years In prison I don't want to think about those. I shiver thinking about them. But you ate them or be hungry. I have learned there isn't much I wont eat. Except bacon. I usually got a pretty good trade for that. Like a few slices of toast. Bread fills you better than bacon. I get done with my lunch and clean up my mess. See they are done and get their things and then refill their sodas. I head to the porch and am thinking about just how amazing and odd it is at the same time here. Its amazingly perfect. At least for me anyway. I hope so for the boys. I think that its important for them to bond and if doing those games does it. I'm happy about it. Because I know Colt didn't have friends. Oliver did kind of. He had his boyfriend. But they really only got to see each other at school and on occasion other times. So its important they learn the social skills that their peers have. I'm thinking how wonderful it is the boys are so happy now. After years of just misery a time of merriment is richly deserved. I hear the door open.

"We figured we rotted our brains out enough with the games for today." Colt informs me.

Oliver behind him nodding.

"Can we take Ollie fishing?"

"You know what?"I ask really excited.
"What?" he asks back catching my excitement.

"Lets go ride the Ferris wheel then go fishing?"
"YEAH!!!" Oh man Ollie you are gonna love this. You can see the farm and every stuff. Hey I wonder if we can see the fishing spot from there?"
"I don't know I guess we will find out. Go get on some stronger shorts for the woods and your hiking boots." I shout the last part after they take off.

I think they were feeling sorry for me not playing the games. But I really have no interest in them at all. I would rather have a nice book or story to read.

I figure I best get changed too. I do and come out with a new t-shirt on.

"Fisher boys helper?" Oliver asks.

"You will see." I assure him.

A moment later here comes Colt his shirt of course reading Fisher boy."
Oliver looks at the shirt and smiles.

"But why are you fisher boy?" he asks Colt.

"Because I'm not a man so I cant be a fisher man. So I'm fisher boy."
"That makes sense, I think." Oliver says laughing.

"Aw you changed your shirt. I liked the one that said ever day should be Christmas. But that ones funny."

"Come on fisher boy and fisher boys friend." I tell them.

We hike to the Ferris wheel which isn't that far because we take the short route.

"Wow." is what Oliver said when we got to the opening in the woods to the park.

"Yeah its real high. Micah is afraid of heights. But he went on it with me anyway. Its lots of fun." Colt says grabs Oliver's hand and drags him to the Ferris wheel. I make it over as they are strapping in.

"You don't have to come Micah. I know you don't like it." he informs me then. He wasn't being mean saying these things. He was just stating facts. No judgment in his words I think about it.

"I enjoyed it with you. But, you are correct its not my favorite thing. Ill meet you at the swings when you are done. Don't forget to see if you can see the fishing spot."

He giggles and the wheel starts moving. I step away and go sit on a swing and watch them. Its so great even from this distance when they are at the top I can hear their laughs. So I know they are having fun. They ride a good while then Colt stops it and they hop off and Colt drags me to ride to big merry go round. Its so cool I think. Its like one you would think you would see in the 1930s its so elaborate with the designs. Its truly a beautiful work of art. We go round in circles on horses for a bit then the boys grow tired of this and we start walking to the fishing spot. Once we get there Colt has Oliver help him get the chairs and poles from the little shed that's here now. We sit and fish for a while and both boys catch a mess of fish. They decided that's what we should have for supper. I'm in agreement it was so good last time. As we are walking back with the catch in our hands. OK I'm carrying the fish. Three very nice ones that will fill us up well. Colt tries to console me.

"Micah you will catch a fish."
"I'm not remotely worried about it string bean. Like I told you before I get so much enjoyment out of you catching them I don't even care if I catch one or not."
We get back and have supper, watch a movie, go to the porch and I play some music while they burn off the last of energy they have for the day. They go and shower again. They also decide to change things up tonight and sleep in Oliver's room. I tuck them in as I have Colt since he arrived. I don't know if they appreciate it. But when I was little I would always see parents tucking their children in at night. It just seemed so loving and that the parents cared. I wanted that and I figure they will too. Its just a nightly reassurance that they are loved. I give them kisses goodnight and tell them I love them. I head to bed as its been a very long day for me. I missed out on a few hours of sleep last night. But it was so worth it.

As I'm laying in bed thinking about the day I'm pleased that Oliver is coming out of his shell some to me. But seems to be all the way to Colt. I knew that Colt was the key to his recovering. I knew and know that its going to be hard for him to open up to me. I get that completely. How can a boy trust a man that has never had one in his life that he could trust. His father although in the home seemed to just let the wife do whatever she wished. Does the term pussy whipped mean anything? I find sleep easily. I know, go figure right?

However in the early morning hours I am awakened by the screams coming from Oliver's room. It sounds like hes being murdered. OK not really sure about that. I mean it would depend on how you are murdered. A gunshot to the back of the head you wouldn't really scream. So fine it sounds like he is being tortured. As I'm racing in Colt is racing out.

"Micah its Oliver."

"I see that."

What I see is a boy sitting up in bed his mouth open so wide the dentist would be happy. Screaming bloody murder. His eyes are filled with tears and terror. I rush to him and wrap my arms around him. He pulls back and hits me hard in the face. I grab his arms and pin them to his sides because that hurt. I hold him tight and he is trying to fight and pull away from me.

"You are OK. You are safe. You are loved." I keep repeating those words over to him softly in his ear. It takes what seems like nearly eternity but he starts to calm down. My poor heart is breaking and Colt is at the side of the bed looking on in horror. Seeing his friend in such a state is not an easy thing to see. Especially since we know exactly what he is going through. It so upsetting that even in your sleep you cant avoid the horror that is your life. But for him now it was his life.

I let loose of him and start running my fingers up and down his bare back.

"You are going to be OK. Was a terrible dream. But you are fine now and safe."
Colt climbs up on the bed and he starts touching Oliver giving him a loving and reassuring touch. He climbs onto Oliver's lap and touches his face gently.

"Are you OK now?"
"Yeah." he answers in a shaky response. He does wrap his arms around Colt.

"I was real scared." Colt admits to him.

"I'm sorry I scared you."
"Its not like you meant too."

This seems like a moment they need alone together. I get up and let myself out of their room. I go and get three glasses of water and carry them back to Oliver's room. I set them on the nightstand and hand one to Oliver which I'm sure is needing some at this point. Screaming tends to make your throat raw.

"Thank you." he says and takes a drink. He sits it down and he leans back with Colt on his chest.

"If you boys need me you know where I am."
"Thank you sir."Oliver says.

"Its OK. Been there." I kiss his forehead and the back of Colts head and pad back to my room, lay down and pull the covers back up. I'm laying thinking about poor little guy in there all scared. OK little guys because Colt looked pretty frightened as well. I hear someone enter my room and don't open my eyes.

"Um Micah I think we should sleep in here tonight." Colt informs me.

I don't even answer and slide over pulling the covers back as I do.

"Now you get in the middle Ollie. So that way you are surrounded with love and stuff. That way you can sleep knowing people love you. That they will protect you. Micah would do better. But I would try too."

"You sure?" I hear him ask him.

"Come on Oliver. Climb in its alright."
I watch them climb in and cover us up. I can feel the heat from Oliver close to me. But he isn't touching me and I imagine hes worried about doing so. With his life so far can you blame him? I know I cant.

I wake up at dawn as it seems I have been. I guess its my new thing. No idea. I just know I don't mind it. I slip out of bed carefully crawling over Colt because I figure he would be easiest. I cover them both back up because they kicked the covers off. No wonder I woke up. I like covers when I'm asleep. I did notice though that Oliver is hard and I can see the outline of it in his undies. It looks about 5 inches and not fat. Not skinny either. But I wouldn't mind sucking him off. But he is no way near that yet. At least not from me. He would probably wake up and be terrified if I did. So I wont. I go pee and head to the kitchen, then make myself some coffee. I grab my book I have been reading sit at the table and enjoy my book for about an hour. I hear the toilet flush and then see two boys staggering out like a couple drunks at closing time.

"What would you two like for breakfast?"
"An omelet and toast please." Colt informs me of his desire.

"So would that be a veggie one or meat in it?"
"HM veggie and patty sausage on the side."
"Sounds nice, and you Oliver?"
"Sounds good to me too."

I make three of them like that mine without sausage. I get them milk and juice. I get me another coffee. We all start eating.

"Micah can we go fishing today?" Colt asks.

"Oliver do you want to go fishing today?"
He looks up at me.

"Um sure it was fun."
"OK well I tell you boys what. You go and have fun, I have a project I want to do this morning."
"We can help if you want." Colt volunteers them both.

"I appreciate it. But I can handle it. You two go have fun."
"You sure?"
"I'm positive. You boys go have fun. When you get hungry come back for lunch. Or would you rather I make you one to take with you?"

"I don't know. Oliver you think lunch or not?" Colt asks him.

"Maybe something for later but not lunch. I don't know if I want to fish all day or not." is his response to Colt.

Thing is if I ask him something half the time he looks down. Not with Colt he has some confidence with him now. I just need to draw that out. I just have to figure out how Wax on. Wax off. No I don't think so. I think that might give him some confidence having karate skills. But I would have to teach him. I know that I know it now. If I need it to teach. But as far as actually knowing it. Not so much.

"So what are you going to do?" Colt asks me.

"I'm going to see a man about a horse."
"Micah there ain't no men here. If you want a horse just ask God and it will be in the barn." Colt answers back.

"He meant it wasn't any of your business." Oliver informs him.

"Oh. Well, that's mean." he tells me.

"I am mean."
"No your not. Every day here is funner than the one before."
"That's not a word."
"Whats not a word."
"Funner."
"It should be. But, Ollie the thing is every day here is just better and better. You will see its funner every day."
HM I can see I went on his pay no mind list and i agree funner should be a word.

We finish breakfast and I make them something to munch on. I made a couple peanut butter and jellies and some chips. A few cans of soda. I figure they will be alright with that.

I see them when they come back out dressed. Both in basketball shorts and t-shirts.

Colts reads. Fishing isn't a hobby. Its a way of life.

Oliver's reads. Not a Goofasuarus.

I just smile at them and hand them the bag.

"Have fun boys."
"We will." Colt tells me and gives me a hug. I pick him up so I can get a better one and I kiss him on the cheek.

"You catch lots of fish."
"I will. But I'm putting them back today. We had fish last night."

"Oliver you have fun too."
He looks at me and I can see something in his eyes. I don't know what it is. But as soon as he hugs me I figure it was indecision.

"Oh Oliver you are such a good boy." I tell him as I hug him tight. I can feel his tension dissipating like the morning dew.

"You sure you don't want us to help. We don't mind." he says when he pulls back.

"No its just a little thing. I think you boys will have more fun without an old man tagging along."
"I liked you coming." he tells me.

"I tell you what. When I get done with my project I will come join you boys. Hows that?"
"Shoot yeah." Colt shouts.

"Calm down hurricane."

I see Oliver smile a bit as he is turning to head out the door.

I watch them as they walk to the river to fish. I see Colt push Oliver and he laughs and pushes him back. I'm so happy they are becoming good friends. I head inside and start my project. Taking down the tree and the decorations I get done with that and it really didn't take as long as I thought. Maybe an hour.

I think I will wait another hour or so until I head down there. Give them some more time to themselves. It makes me happy I saw Oliver playing back with Colt. Those two could be brothers. No wait I haven't seen them fight yet. Maybe not brothers. I think I will grab my book and read on the porch for a bit. Then head down. Maybe make some cookies for them. No granola bars. Colt seemed to enjoy the cereal. No apples and carmel sauce. That's always tasty. I grab an iced tea and my book and head to the porch. I'm reading about an hour and hyper focused on my book. I feel something wet against my leg.

"What the fu..........." I shout as I jump up and see a little Dachshund there.

"Where did you come from buddy?" I ask the little brown dog. Yeah like you will answer. But this is an interesting place. The dog is all hopping around and acting as excited as oh Colt. I bend down and pet his head.

"You're a good puppy aren't you?" I ask and he is just panting and enjoying the attention.

"You got a collar lets see if you got a name." I turn it around. "Sure nuff says you are Roscoe."
He barks his yes. I guess that's what it was. Kind of a random bark otherwise.
"I tell you what Roscoe I got two boys that are going to love meeting you. Are you hungry or thirsty or anything? Why do I keep asking you questions? Come on Roscoe." I tell him and I walk in the house. I punch in dog food and bowl of water. I open the door and its there. I set it on the floor and Roscoe is doing the happy doggie dance. He starts eating and its gone pretty quickly. So either he was hungry or hes the typical dog that will eat until they cant. Not sure which but he does drink half the water. I get some apples and cut them up and get carmel sauce. I put the apples in a reusable bowl and the carmel sauce is in a bowl I put it in a reusable bag. Sorry not making trash in Shamallah if I can help it. I hate seeing those plastic bags blowing all over the place. Not happening here.

"Come on Roscoe lets go meet your boys."
He his dancing around his ears flopping and I swear hes smiling. We head down the path to the fishing spot. I see the boys and they wave at me. I start walking across the water and Roscoe isn't there.

"Come on!!" I shout. He comes racing out of the woods ears flying in the wind. I'm half way across and he stops at the edge.

"Come on."

He looks at me like I'm crazy. I sigh and go back and pick him up.

"Chicken shit." he licks my face. "Whatever." I tell him and roll my eyes. We get across and I'm walking towards to the boys and he is right by my side. "Where did he come from?" Colt asks.

"I have no idea but his name is Roscoe." as I say his name he barks. "Go say hi to the boys Roscoe."
He does he races around them up to them and back. He sticks his nose in crotches and sniffs as they giggle and pet him.

He and they finally settle down and he lays in front of me as I've taken a spot on the grass.

"Brought you guys a treat." I say holding up the bag.

"What is it?"Colt asks.

"Look and see." I look at Roscoe. "And I'm the Goofasaurus."

"You are." Colt says giggling.

"Yeah well, you know."
"Cool." he says as he takes out the apples and carmel. He opens them up and sits it between him and Oliver.

"Thank you sir." Oliver tells me.

"Anytime Master Oliver."
He gives me a funny look.

I hear him say something to Colt but cant hear it.

"I don't know ask him."
mumble mumble

"He wants to know why you called him Master Oliver."
"Well, you refer to a boy as Master until they are 13. Not sure if its as they are or not so I may be mistaken on that."

Colt and Oliver look at me.

"You never called me Master Colt."
"You don't call me sir all the time. I figure if hes going to be formal I should too."

"I cant call you by your name you're a grown up. That's disrespectful and my mother will tan my hide for that." he says quickly.

"Colt you see his mother?"
"No I don't."
"HM I don't either. So its either Micah or sir. Its Oliver or Master Oliver your choice. Now I'm not saying that showing respect is a bad thing. But I don't want you to think of me as a grown up. OK well I do but, I would rather you think of me as a friend or a mentor. I'm here to help you become the boy you are supposed to be. But I cant do that if you don't trust me enough to call me by my name. I know that it will take time to trust me. I know its hard. I know its scary as can be. But in your life you will have to trust someone, and to be honest can you think of a better place to be then here to trust someone?"
"No sir."
"OK now let me clarify this for you. When you answer a question and say yes sir or no sir. I'm good with that. Ask Colt I do that to him and hes not a sir yet. Its a habit and not a bad one. But when you want something from me. Instead of saying excuse me sir. Say Excuse me Micah. OK?"
"Ill try sir. I mean Micah."
"Habit I know. But when you are friends you don't have to have the courtesies. OK?"
"Kay."
"I'm going to head back now. I just wanted to bring Roscoe to his boys and bring you a treat. Have you eaten the sandwiches yet?"
"Yeah like 5 minutes after we got here." Colt says giggling.

"Alright Ill pack more next time. Should have put in carrot sticks too. Didn't think about it. Boys need vitamins and stuff."
"Ill remind you I like carrots."
"Me too." Oliver tells us.

Cool he is joining a conversation with me without having to be drug into it. As I get up Roscoe does too. I start walking to the river to cross and hes next to me.
"Don't you want to stay with the boys?"

He looks at them and then back at me.

"Alright. But, I'm sure they will be more fun than me." I tell him and start to walk across. He whines at me as I start.

"Come scaredy cat." I tell him while I pick him up. Half way across I sit him on the water and he looks down like. Hey this isn't right. Lifts paw and looks at it. I just start walking and he is beside me in a second. When we get across and halfway back to the house I tell him.

"I don't get it either. But we can walk across the water here. Or we can swim. Its weird but you will get used to it."

He just races ahead and bounces back and forth. When we are almost to the house he races up on the porch and lays down in front of the chair I usually sit in.

"Alright I will play some songs for you if you like."

I pick up the guitar and start playing some soft songs. He just goes to sleep. I put the guitar down and grab my book. I get back into it when I hear the boys coming. OK I didn't hear them yet but I heard Roscoe's collar jingle when he lifted his head.

"Looks like they are hungry. Go welcome them home."
The dog is off like a shot. Grass flying behind him. He races around the boys. Both bend down to pet him a few times before he takes off again. Racing back and forth between them and the porch.

The boys make it to the porch.

" I think Roscoe is the Goofasuarus." I tell them.

"RUFF"
"See he agrees."

"I don't think so Micah." Oliver tells me. He does look to gauge my reaction.

I laugh at his comment.

"No probably not. Come on lets get you boys some lunch."
"Yeah then we got to shower so we don't smell like women." Colt tells him.

"What? Oh....You're nasty." Oliver tells him laughing. Then he smells his hand. "But you ain't wrong."

I nearly piss myself laughing at him.

"Come Stinky and Stinky Jr."

Colt sticks out his tongue at me and races inside. I just keep chuckling away and Oliver and I follow him in.

"So what strikes your fancy gentlemen?"
"Um Micah. Can we have pizza?"
"Absolutely. What kind?"
"Is just cheese OK?"
"Sounds perfect. What do you think Snagglepuss?"
"Sounds great to me."
"Thin crust or thick?" I ask.

"Gee I never really thought about it. Just whatever the school had. I guess its medium."
"Oliver I'm going to ask you a question and I don't want you to think I'm being mean about it. But have you had pizza other than at school?"
He looks down at the ground.

"No. At home I'm only allowed to eat beans. On Sundays mother makes cornbread and I get it too."
I reach out and lift his chin up so hes looking at me.

"I understand. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Shoot half the time I was growing up I wish I had some beans to eat. Beans are good for you. But I bet it will be a while before you eat another one."

I hug him tight.

"You know you are such a good boy. I cant believe how good you are. You helping Colt with fishing and teaching him how to play his game. Your learning to play baseball. All good things from a good boy."

"You say that like you really mean it." He says as I'm hugging him. Though hes not hugging me back.

"I do. I mean it with all my heart. I don't see anything bad in you."
"But I'm gay and that's awful."
"No that's just part of who you are. Like your skin color or your eyes and hair. Its how you are made. Its just one very small part of the entire you."
He hugs me back at this point, and hard too. Let me tell you this boy is strong.

While we are doing this Colt has made the pizza and set it on the table. He is getting plates and sodas now.

"Come on lets go have pizza. I bet it will make you see pizza in a whole new light."
I drape my arm over his shoulders as we walk to the table.

While we eat lunch Colt is chattering away telling me about the million fish they caught. I think he might be exaggerating a little. But its really fun to listen to him. Because he is so excited. His hands are flying everywhere. Which Roscoe seems to enjoy when he has pizza in his hand and pieces fly off. The dog is polishing the floor. Now I know how to mop here. A paint brush, pizza sauce and Roscoe. I haven't said anything but. Mhm, Uhuh, and really. Oliver hasn't said a word. But he has inhaled four large slices of pizza and a glass of Texas Juice. He reaches out and grabs for his fifth slice, the last one. He looks up.

"I'm sorry did either of you want this?"
"No I'm stuffed."
"Me too." Colt says showing his fat belly and rubbing it to prove he is indeed full.

He smiles and takes a massive bite. I cant help but smile. Yeah pizza is a new word for him. I cant imagine having beans all the time. But like I told him lots of times I wish I had some beans to eat. Too many hungry nights for me. I didn't ask but I knew that the others ate other things. That it was just him eating beans every day. Cheap cunt of a mother. I swear people like that should be shot. If I believed in the death penalty. I don't because it isn't justice. Its revenge. But you kill a child I think revenge is justified then. But if you rob a guy and kill him. I think life without parole would be a worse punishment then death. To know that you will never be free again and you have no idea how long you have to suffer in this life until your sentence is over. Because believe me I would rather get the needle than life without parole. Then whats the point of life? I see he finishes his piece.

"Do you want more?"
"Yes. But it wont fit." He says grinning

"It was a good idea. I think we all ate a little more than we should have." I turn to Colt. "Cake?"

"Oh no." He says giving me this look that's saying are you kidding me.

He leans back and pats his belly.

"Looks like time for some games so food can settle huh?" I ask.

"Yeah." Oliver answers for them.

Good he is starting to speak for himself with me. He needs to stand up for himself and allow himself to be heard. No longer should his voice be stifled. "Do you really believe that?"
"Believe what?" I ask.

"That me being gay isn't my choice. That I was born this way."
"Yes."

"I don't know."
"I can call Gabe and he will tell you the same thing and hes an angel. You would believe him wouldn't you?" I ask him.

"Well, sure."
"Want me to call him?"
"No hes probably busy."
"OK How about this. Next time he pops in you ask him."
"OK." he answers.

"OOOO KAY." I say drawing it out. "Colt you look like a lazysaurus.

"I feel like a lazysuarus."

I say this because he is leaning back in his chair. One naked foot up on the chair, his hand on his tummy.

"Oliver's ideas are too good." Colt says making us laugh.

"Come on lazysaurus lets get this cleaned up so you can kick some alien butt."
With that thought he gets to moving as does Oliver.

"What game you want to play Ollie?"
"I don't care. They are all fun to me."
"Want to play the racing game?"
"Sure. But, I'm gonna kick your butt."
"Yeah right in your dreams. Only person you can beat is Micah."
"Hey, I resemble that remark." I tell Colt.

"Nu.....wait what?" he looks at me and smiles. "You are almost funny."
"Almost huh?"
"Yep almost."

"You are soooo lucky I've got my hands full or I would tickle you until you did pee."
He grins.
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." he tells me and sticks his tongue out again.

I run to the sink and put the dishes in them and have him over my shoulder in a second.

"Eww you smell like a girl." I tell him laughing.

I take him and toss him on his bed and start tickling him. I'm working up and down his body and he is laughing so hard tears are coming out of his eyes. I hear laughter from behind me, leaning on the door frame.. I look back and see Oliver.

"Oh you want some of this?" I say giving him an evil grin.

He takes off from the frame and tries to make it to his room. I push him on the bed Colt behind me and we both gang up on him.

"Hey this isn't fair." he cries out in his laughter. I tickle him a minute or two and look at Colt and stop.

"What?" he asks seriously.

"Aren't I supposed to tickle you until you pee?"
His eyes get huge and off he goes and both of us give him chase. I tell you what when we got done I was laughing so hard I was crying. Those boys are something else.
"You boys go get that girl smell off of ya. Play your games because we got some baseball to learn and play after that."

"Really?" Oliver asks excited.

"What you think last night was it. Baseball takes time to learn and lots of practice. Lots and lots and lots of practice. But its fun and worth it."

"Did you ever play in a real game?" Oliver asks me.

"Yeah lots. My father owned a construction company. I guess he still does really. But He had a team and how would it look if his kid wasn't playing for his team. Not only that I had to be the best at it too. So I would practice all the time. But that was before he got too far into the drugs. Someone told me he got cleaned up and is doing great business again. But yeah kind of a long answer huh?"
"Your father used drugs?" Oliver asks.
"Yeah a lot of them."
"He would hit you too?"
"That and much worse. Now go get a shower so we can get this road on the show."
The boys go and get their showers and I get the equipment ready for when they are done. They both come out later with just shorts on no shirts. I don't mind this at all. Nope. I'm sitting in my chair reading and I look from one to the other admiring the differences in their bodies. Colt with his lovely slender boy body. Hardly any muscle definition. Then Oliver a new teen with his muscles starting to form. His biceps are starting to show. He is wider on top and tapers to his waist. Oh my is all I can think. I'm starting to get hard. I decide I need to read on the porch because I've read the same paragraph at least 20 times and I still have no clue what it says.

I grab my glass and head outside and Roscoe follows me.

"You are one nutty dog. Rather be with me then two little guys that will spoil you rotten. I saw all the pizza you got. I also saw Colt slipping pieces he wasn't throwing all over the place."
When I sit down he hops on my lap.

"Oh I guess that's alright." I tell him and open my book and gently stroke his soft fur as I read. I read a while and look out into the landscape that lays before me.

"You know Roscoe when I was in prison. Actually before that. I would dream of a place just like this. A little farm with me. Hopefully a few boys to love and a little happy dog just like you. Of course even what I had dreamed wasn't anywhere close to as wonderful as this is."
I look out as I gently pet him. Thinking of my life and how it was. What it could have become. I was smart. I did well in school without trying. I bet if I tried I could have gone to college gotten a fancy job. But I was always told I wasn't worth anything. That I would never amount to anything. I guess you hear something enough you accept it as truth. I have to stop doing that. Because I cant help these boys stop thinking they are bad if I don't think I'm worth anything. But I tell you what. Those boys are really giving me some self worth. I love teaching them things. They seem to love learning them too. I know they are coming because only a herd of buffalo or two boys can be that loud. Roscoe lifts his head and turns it so he can watch them walk out the door.

"You boys ready?"
"Yes sir." They both say and salute me.

"Smart alecks." I say grinning.

They giggle at me. The audacity I tell you.

"Alright boys we are going to go over what we learned yesterday and I think we need to get warmed up a bit first."
I have them do the same exercises my coaches used to have me do. It gets you loosened up so you don't get hurt. I know they cant be hurt here. But when you go back to earth and rejoin humanity they can be there. So I want them trained right.

"Now remember boys baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical." I tell them.

"Wait that's 140 percent." Oliver tells me.

"Its what Yogi Berra used to say. He has lots of funny saying about baseball. My point is that you boys need to run to get into shape. Matter of fact I think I will join you. I could use a little shaping up. I have them running up to the river and back for today. I figure that's enough to start probably half a mile or so. I do join them and their breathing was a lot less labored then mine was when we stopped. I'm not wining any races but I did OK. Funny thing is Roscoe ran right along side of me just a panting his ears flopping. It was pretty cute.

"OK boys now start tossing the ball around."
"We had to do all that to toss the ball?" Colt asks.
"We will be doing more today." I inform him.

"Cool."
So I have them warm up a while doing that. Then we play pickle with me in the middle. These boys are catching on quick. I have ran it about 5 times now and Oliver throws the ball over me and it catches the tip of Colts glove and beans him in the forehead. I know that shit hurts. He has his face planted in his hand I run over to him.

"You OK buddy?"

He looks up at me and grins.

"Your right. It hurts but I can take it." He picks up the ball taps me with it."Oh and your out."
How can you not laugh. He said it so calmly.

"You know this made me think of a coach I had once. I swear you could have a bone sticking out the guy would say." I change my voice. "I know it hurts boy. Just walk it off."
"Walk it off?"Oliver asks as hes next to us now because he ran over as I did.

"Yeah. Thing is if you get hit by a pitch in the ass. It hurts and walking it off makes sense. But this guy. Everything was walk it off."
"Silly."
"Yes he was. You guys are doing great. You both have great eye hand coordination and I can see you have tossed a ball around some before. Not the right way but your learning the right way. I'm really proud of you boys."
"When do we get to hit?" Colt asks me.

"Never hitting is bad." I tell him grinning.

He rolls his eyes at me. I take the ball and hand it to Oliver.

"He cant be trusted with this. Getting me out like that."

He smiles at me. He turns around and just like a coach would do I smack him on the butt.

"Doing great."

He lets out a hiss.

"Oh I'm so sorry. I forgot. Really I'm sorry."
He looks at me.

"Its OK you were doing what coaches do." Then he grins.

"Yeah just wait until sliding lessons. Your ass will hurt then too."
Afterwards I explain the basics of hitting. Then we call it a night and head in for supper.

"Alright Colt. Oliver picked lunch you pick supper." I tell him.

"Lasagna?" he asks.

"Sounds good to me. Oliver what do you think?"
"Sure."
"Garlic bread you think?"
I get nods of approval.

"So after supper you boys need to get a shower. Me too for that matter. We all worked up a good sweat."
Colt looks at me serious.

"You know I take a lot of showers here."
"You can be stinky if you want." I tell him.

"No. I wasn't complaining. I was just saying. Cuz we do so much that we got to take showers a lot. Its kinda nice really. Cuz before I never did nothing."
"Me neither." Oliver shares.

"I'm glad you're both happy about it. Because I really don't want you stinky." I tell then and ruffle their hair.

We have our supper and chat about baseball. Have our showers and they come out in undies and that's all. I got on sleeping pants and no shirt.

I sit on the couch in my regular spot and Colt is on my lap in seconds Oliver surprisingly sits right next to me and kind of leans in. So I wrap my arm around him and pull him in.
"So what do you boys want to watch tonight?"
Can we watch a baseball game?" Oliver asks me.

"I don't mind. Colt?"
"Cool."
So that's what we did. After the game we head to the porch I play a few songs and I'm feeling sleepy.

"Boys I'm heading to bed. You can stay up if you like. But not too late. Like Colt pointed out to me the other day. It ain't like you got school or nuthing."

"Night Micah." They both tell me. I kiss the tops of their heads and Roscoe follows me in. I climb into bed and hes whining at the edge of my bed.

"Get up here if you are going to do that."

He hops up and settles at my feet.

I find sleep easily and only awaken when I was surprised by the boys got into bed with me. I think about kissing them on the heads. But I fall back asleep before I can.

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