Chapter 10

Please go to www.crushedcrown.com to read ahead and leave feedback for the author.

“You ok?”

The others were practicing kissing seduction techniques. Romance was kissing Allure. Passion was kissing Craving. It was awkward and silly. I hadn't been doing it even though the moderators had come in the room to start their scoring process at this point. Love was sitting next to me.

He had barely gotten dressed from when he made Urge cum on himself.

I nodded, “I'm fine. I'll probably work on the whole seduction thing later.”

“No worries. No rush. You guys have a lot of time to perfect it. But I do want to let you know the scoring for this is all going to be based off one performance.”

“Performance?”

“Yes. You got to seduce someone in front of the moderators and make them think that person really wants you. Whenever you are ready you just tell the moderators that you want to be scored. That's just the seduction part though. That is just for infiltration part though. You still have to pass espionage and sabotage. Seduction is the hardest. It'll take the longest to perfect.”

“Like you did I'm sure.”

“It was my specialty. I got past rank 3 back in my day well enough, but infiltration and espionate...that is where I shined,” he smiled, “Today was easier though. I had to admit. Lust told me Urge was attractive but the last time I saw him he wasn't like that. He had a growth spurt this year. He is hot...”

“Yeah...”

“Oh am I stepping on your toes. Are the two of you an item?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“You got this long face on like you're upset.”

“I'm not fucking upset.”

I didn't have to respect this Love guy. He wasn't the team leader. Just because he was already on the team didn't make it that I had to respect him. I was annoyed.

“Ok if he's yours, I apologize. You should take it as compliment.”

I knew I was acting like some crazy jealous lunatic, “He's not mine.”

“Good. I never had a crush on someone. As soon as I saw him. Man.”

“Should you be talking like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don't know. Just figured you should be you know. Teaching. I just didn't think you wanted to have small talk with me.”

I was annoyed. I didn't want Love around me. I didn't want him in my face or even in my vicinity.

“I think it's important to get to know you guys if you'll be on my team. Four of you at least. Is that ok? I don't mean to rub anyone the wrong way or nothing.”

“It did rub me the wrong way because I think Urge is embarrassed,” I explained, “He asked you to stop several times.”

“Well he seemed to enjoy that nut...never had someone moan so loud...maybe he would thank me...”

I couldn't believe this guy was talking like this. He was crude and unrefined in the way he was speaking. I shook him off that point. He kept trying to make small conversation but I just kept walking away. It was clear that he thought Urge was attractive. I figured that was ok. I didn't understand how everyone didn't find Urge attractive despite his standoff personality. He was an extremely attractive guy. I was just irritated that the first time I met Love he had to do something like that. Even if you did like someone was that how you go about showing that you liked them?

It irritated me even more that Urge did have an orgasm right in the middle of the floor. Maybe he couldn't help it.

Maybe Love was his type.

Rank 4 seemed different than Rank 3. Rank 3 we learned how to fight like assassins but Rank 4 was a little harder. Rank 4 we had to learn to think like assassins. It wasn't enough to just know how to kill your target. You had to know how to get close enough to kill your target.

Everyone seemed to struggle. Sabotage involved a lot of coding and things like that. I don't think anyone except maybe Allure was good at it. Then there was Espionage that involved a lot of sneaking around. There was a special room where we had to do a lot of acrobatics. There was also a room that measured the amount of noise you made. The moderators stayed in these rooms watching how we performed. If we made a noise the moderators would immediately start writing on their notes.

Rank 4 was about going undetected. That was what this was all about. The art of getting close. Love was a pro at this as well. Lust had stopped showing up to our infiltration training classes and so had Urge. The next day was we had more training on seduction and the day after that was more of the same. I knew the moderators weren't keeping score of this but it was important if Urge was ever going to do the performance. I started to get worried about him.

“Can anyone explain what love is?”

It was day 3. We were in class. Love was standing in the front of the class. He had on a tight black body suit. Romance and Craving seemed to love it. Love definitely seemed comfortable with his body.

“You are Love,” Romance stated smiling.

“Anyone got an answer who isn't trying to be a smart ass?”

Allure nodded, “Love is an emotion. An intense feeling of deep affection.”
Love just stood there at the front of the class. He sighed. Allure was the type to get all the answers right in class. We were so sure that she had gotten it right.

“It's more than that,” Love stated.

I raised my hand. It wasn't really my thing to try to outshine the others in training classes. Most of the time it was because I was on the lower half of the class when it came to certain things. For some reason his questions seemed to me to be less of a trick question and more of a question about how you actually feel.

“It's...it's um...” I started.

I had been interrupted. I had been interrupted by Urge at the door. He hadn't entered. The others hadn't seen him standing there. He was quiet. Maybe he was lost or something. He had been intentionally not showing up to training all week.

“Go ahead, spit it out,” Love stated.

Urge was listening in. For a moment I felt as though I was speaking to him. Maybe he wouldn't listen. Maybe it didn't matter to him at all. I still felt like I wanted to talk to him though.

I crossed my arms and closed my eyes, “Love is not being able to close your eyes without thinking about that person. Love is knowing there is nothing you wouldn't do without that person. Love is not being able to breathe when that person walks into the room. So you know what you do? You hold your breath. You hope that they are looking at you in the same way you are looking at them. You just keep holding your breath until they turn...and they leave; then all of a sudden your life starts all over again. But that memory that they left you with. That feeling that made you think you were dead inside for a quick moment because you never felt so alive; that's love.”

Urge had left the room again right after I had spoken. Maybe he hadn't meant to come in here at all.

“Holy shit,” Craving said, “You make love sound kinda serious huh?”

“He's completely right,” Love told me, “Desire seems to understand what love is. Love is extremely serious. It's a weapon. It's a devastating weapon that you can use against your enemies. You tap into their weakness, you can destroy them. From the inside...out.”

“That's not what I meant.”

They all turned to me at that moment. They all turned to me and looked at me as though I had three heads. I didn't care though. Love had it all wrong.

“Excuse me?”

“I meant that love was a serious thing but I didn't mean it was a weapon,” I stated shaking my head, “It's a blessing. You know? I just don't believe it's the best technique to use.”

Love laughed at me at that moment, “You think you know more about this subject than I do? I've been on dozens of missions. I'm just 22. Would you like to know how many men and women have fallen in love with me in all of those missions? Dozens. That's right, rookie. I know a thing about love.”

The others were looking at Love and I. Things were heated between us. It was clear there was tension between us. I didn't think anyone was surprised by it though. They had all seen how he made Urge nut on that chair a few days ago. They had all seen his seduction techniques. Personally I didn't want anything to do with them.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“How many of those men have you fallen in love with back?”

“Those were my targets. I don't fall in love with my targets...”

“Exactly. So what do you really know about love?”

Love stood there laughing. I knew the others had found this completely awkward. Luckily there were no moderators standing around in this class or else I was sure I'd be failing the course right now.

“You think you can do better?” Love asked me, “How about you go? Go put on a performance without my training.”

“I just might.”

I didn't know what I was saying until I got up out of my seat and walked away. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt immediately stupid that Love was basically kicking me out of the his training. I still didn't forgive him though. I didn't forgive how he embarrassed Urge and I wasn't going to.

I found myself back in the dorm and threw myself on the bed. I hadn't even noticed that I wasn't alone until I heard heavy breathing. I looked towards the wall of the dorm to see that Urge was there. He was standing there shirtless. He was doing push-ups with one hand. If he had noticed me walking in he definitely didn't want to say anything about it.

I walked over to him noticing the sweat dripping off of his sexy body. This man was sexy and every part of me wanted to just watch him exercise all day long.

“Working out isn't going to help you pass infiltration...”

“I'm not doing it.”

He just kept working out. He was one of those guys who had this perfect body and just always seemed to keep working out even when he obtained the body that most people dreamed of having.

“Not doing it?”

“I'll get... high scores.... in espionage... and sabotage,” he replied taking his time to answer as he took heavy breaths between push ups, “Do me a favor. Sit on my back.”

“Seriously.”

“What you scared I'm going to sweat on you princess? Sit on my back,” he replied.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Urge. He was still dripping sweat. It was amazing how his body glistened in the way that it did. I had no problem doing what he said though. I went over to him and sat on his back. He continued to do push ups with me on his back. Urge was so fucking strong. He was so powerful.

“Is this supposed to be proving a point?”

“Not unless you want it to.”

I got off his back, “Look you're not superman. You failed twice and there is something you aren't telling me. You aren't telling me that you never passed Rank 4...”

Urge shot me a stare. I knew I had hit a sensitive spot as soon as I said it. I watched as he stopped doing pushups and walked to the back. I followed behind him making my way to the bathroom. As soon as I got in the back he pinned me to the wall with one hand.

“Stop following me.”

“I'm not about to let you shut me out like you do everybody else,” I told Urge.

He rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I never passed Rank 4. Is that what you wanted to confirm? Who told you? My brother or my father?”

I just shook my head, “You didn't think that was kind of important to let me know?”

“No. Had nothing to do with you.”

“It does.”

“Why?”

“If you don't pass. I die.”

I had broke the news to him without really thinking. I knew I didn't want to put the added pressure on him but I thought that Urge would just shut me out if I didn't let him know that. Urge's eyes got serious all of a sudden.

He sat on the sink and just stared at the ground. There was tension in the room. It kind of made me feel special that Urge was reacting like this. Urge didn't care about anyone or anything but somehow the idea of me dying over something he did seemed to get to him.

When he finally spoke his voice seemed apprehensive, “It's my dad...isn't it?”

“He says that he'll kill me if you don't pass this. He's scared that I might be distracting Wrath and a part of me thinks he's scared I may be distracting you as well. Am I distracting you?”

He stared at me.

“A little bit.”

“Wow...”

“But it's a good thing!” Urge quickly responded shaking his head, “Just you are making me care a little bit more. Maybe I need to care a little bit more. I don't have the same motivation as you guys have. My father isn't going to kill me if I fail.”

“Well he'll kill me. So can you not fail? Pretty please...”

I laughed at the idea that I was taking this so lighthearted. Urge hadn't even smiled a little bit though even though I had a wide smile on my face. He wasn't looking at my face. Urge was still looking at the ground.

“Look, I can't do Infiltration. It's not who I am.”
“Why not?”

“That test is about seduction. It's about being social. It's about getting someone to trust you. It's about being sexy. I'm not sexy. Ask me to shoot someone. Ok. Ask me to arm a bomb. Ok. Ask me to seduce someone...that's not my thing. I failed over and over just because of Infiltration.”

“You don't think you're sexy?”

Urge rolled his eyes as feeling like the idea of being sexy was below him, “People like Lust are sexy. People love Love are sexy. I'm not sexy. I'm a killer, gdam it.”

“You're pretty sexy,” I replied, “Hate to break it to you.”

“Stop.”

“Are you...are you getting red?” I asked Urge, “You are! Why are you so nervous? A little seduction is normal. I'm sure that you've seduced a couple people in your life. I'm sure that you got into some panties or underwear or whatever you felt like getting into at the moment...”

“I'm a virgin.”

The world stopped at that moment. Urge was a virgin? I was beyond shocked. I didn't know how to respond to that. I just looked at him. I could tell he was embarrassed when he was telling it to me. Urge didn't look like a virgin. Not to say virgins had special looks but Urge looked like the kind of guy who walked into a club and girls just came flocking. Then I thought about it. Has Urge even been to a club before? He was so sheltered away from that kind of stuff. He had been trained all his life for one reason. He was trained to be a killer.

I sighed quietly, “I had no idea.”

“Now you see why I'm so awkward,” Urge replied shaking crossing his arms, “I had no social life. I didn't go on dates. I didn't have friends. I damn sure didn't have sex. I'm like those moderators out there. I don't have a soul...”

“You do have a soul.”

“What makes you so sure?”

He was really asking me as though really wondering. It was kind of sad to see someone like that. It made me hate Tom even more. Tom had robbed his son of any bit of normalcy. Urge didn't even know what normal was. Urge was so confused and lost. It was all Tom's fault.

“How many times have you saved me?” I asked Urge.

“A lot...you can't seem to stay out of trouble,” Urge replied.

“Exactly. How many times has a moderator saved someone. You aren't a moderator. You have emotions. And if you have emotions you have the ability to seduce and be seduced. It's still there inside of you. I'm going to help to bring it out.”

He smiled.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok. I trust you.”

I smiled back knowing that he trusted me.

The thing was I had no clue how I was going to get him to pass Infiltration.

“Hold me closer...stop being so damn awkward.

Urge didn't want to go back to train with Love for Infiltration. I didn't want to go back either. I know stacked the odds against us for passing the test but instead I tried to figure out ways to find Urge's intimacy as well as intensify my own.

“This is so fucking weird,” Urge stated.

“Being able to hit your mark dead center with a pistol 30 feet away isn't weird for you but slow dancing is just out of character.”

Music was playing. It was the only way I could think of to gain intimacy. No one was around and I had borrowed a radio from Craving that he'd taken from the gym. The radio was playing an old song. 'Kissing you' was the name of the song. It was an old song from the Romeo and Juliet movie but this version was sung by a man.

“Fine. Ok. Where do I put my hand?” Urge asked.

“Here.”

I grabbed Urge's hands and put it around my waist. I stepped closer to him. We were in each other's space at this moment. We were so close.

“Man, I don't know how to dance.”

“It's not about knowing how to dance,” I replied, “It's about feeling comfortable next to someone and feeling that intimacy with someone.”

“Ok, how's this?” he asked.

“Better. Hold me tighter. Pull me closer.”

“Fuck Desire. We can't get any closer than this.”

“We can always get closer.”

He pulled me in. Both of his hands were around my waist. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes but he was staring away at the door. I could tell he was nervous. We swayed back and forth in the room dancing to the slow song.

“This is soooooo weird,” he said, “What if someone walks in and sees us? They'll think we are easy targets.”

“This is training remember?” I told him, “Relax. Listen to the song. Just lose yourself for once in the moment. Lose yourself with me.”

“Should I fake it?”

“No. Love fakes it. I'm not going to use his tactics. I want it to be real.”

He finally looked me in my eyes. Urge was finally trying at least. I could tell he was trying hard. We kept going back and forth. Our eyes were intensely staring at each other. I could feel this connection between us even if he was resisting. I knew that this was where I belonged. Even if we were just training for a mission it meant the world to me to be so close to him. It meant the world to me that he trusted me enough to let me close to him.

Urge NEVER let anyone close.

“What's the song about?”

“I'm not 100% sure. He's saying that 'pride can stand a thousand trials, the strong will never fall'. I guess it's about loving someone but not being able to be around them. You know? It's the theme song from Romeo and Juliet. The one with Leonardo DiCaprio.”
“Shakespeare right?” He asked.

“You're joking. I hope you're joking.”

“I know it's Shakespeare, I just never really seen the movie,” he replied.

“It's beautiful. The classic story retold in a new way,” I stated, “When I was young I used to love this song so much. I danced to it at my senior prom with my boyfriend. Yeah. I know. I went to the prom with a guy. That's so weird.”

“I don't think it's weird. Not for you at least,” Urge smiled grabbing me up, “You the bravest dude I know. You'd throw knives if anyone fucked with you.”

“Not back then. Back then I trusted the world. I'd let anyone close. It's how Wrath kidnapped me. I let my guard down.”

“Well I'm here now. So your guard is up.”

“Thank you.”

We continued to dance. The music kept going slow and it was on repeat. We moved around the room. I thought he was going to tell me when it was going to end. After a while I knew this was more about me and less about training. I just wanted Urge to touch me. I just wanted Urge to be close to me. He was letting me in too. He was letting me close to him.

The feeling was amazing. I couldn't help but to just keep falling in love with him.

“Are we intimate now?”

It was an awkward question. It was an Urge question. I could tell he was never going to win Mr. Congeniality or anything. He was the most socially awkward person in the world and I loved every moment of it. It felt like he was all mine for whatever reason.

“Yup, dangerously so...”

“Hopefully we are Romeo and Juliet close now,” he said smiling but quickly looked away awkwardly before adding, “I meant...that way we'll get high scores with the moderators.”

“Well Romeo and Juliet die.”

“Shit. They do? That sucks.”

“No it's beautiful.”

“You think? I don't see how...”

“We'll watch it one day. Somewhere far away from here,” I told him, “Just you and me. We'll rent it. We'll eat popcorn with extra butter and watch it on surround sound. Like normal people...”

He hands had moved. It was a slow move. I hadn't even noticed it was happening until it had happened. His hands were now on my ass now. His eyes were staring at me. I just kept looking at Urge. Every moment that passed with this slow music made me fall in love with him. I was desperate. Every part of me was desperate for him.

I had never known a love like this before.

“You think we'll ever be...like normal people?” he asked.

I smiled, “That's what I want for you. I want you to be normal. One day we won't have to train. We won't have to worry about death all around us. We'll just be normal. Me and you. Just us two...”

There was a kiss.

The kiss was strong. It was a powerful kiss that took my breath away. I just found myself stuck there as Urge held my head close. He was kissing me with open mouths. It was awkward at first and sloppy. His tongue was wildly licking at my mouth and my lips.

It was clumsy making me aware he had never done this before, but soon I guided him. I showed him to kiss slower. He was a fast learner. He followed my lead. He slowed down. His lips were pressed up against mine.

“I've been wanting to do that for a while,” he told me.

“Me too.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Because I love you.”

Shit! I hadn't even noticed the words coming out of my mouth until they came out of my mouth. Urge was looking at me shocked in a way that I had said what I had just said. He took a step back. I had scared him off. What the fuck was I saying admitting to something like that at that moment? What the fuck did I expect him to do? Did I expect him to say it back to me?

It scared him all of a sudden.

“Desire...”

“You don't have to say it back. It's just. I thought you should know.”

Urge nodded his head, “I see. I understand. Desire. I have seen some horrible things in my life. That part of me...I don't think it exists anymore. I'm not sure if it ever existed in the first place.”

“I get it. You don't have to explain.”

“But Desire. If I could love. If it were possible. You'd be the person I would have wanted to love...”

I'm not sure what it meant. I wasn't sure how to take it but I knew that I had to take it. I had understand where he was coming from. Urge had never lead me on. He had never made me think he could possibly give me anymore then he had said he would in the first place. He had never made me believe he was possible for love.

That was all me.

“Love will take you back if you apologize to him,” Craving had been telling me that night.

I turned across the room to look at Urge. He was working out. I knew the others were getting a different kind of training in infiltration from Love. I knew they were probably getting exactly what they needed to pass. Personally I didn't think it was possible for me to have to go through all of that though.

“Urge and I are doing just fine.”
Craving laughed giving me a look of disbelief, “Urge? The only male moderator is doing fine at seduction?”

“He's not a moderator. He has passion in there. I just got to find it.”

“Man you got better luck of finding a way out of this hell hole,” Craving stated shaking his head, “At that. I'm going to bed.”

The others were going to sleep soon after. Allure, Passion and Romance had all gone to sleep. Urge was laying down getting ready to go sleep. I decided that I would go hop in the showers at that moment while everyone was asleep.

In the showers all I could think about was Urge. All I could think about was how he was holding me when we were dancing. It was almost like he wanted to let go fully but he was just still so afraid. He was so afraid of getting hurt.

Footsteps.

“Hello?” I asked.

I looked at the curtain as the water flowed over me.

More footsteps.

I was confused. They were really light footsteps though, extremely light. I hardly heard Urge but when I did his footsteps sounded like this. Light and quick on his feet. I was compelled by them at that moment. I turned back to the water sure that it was Urge.

Then something happened. The curtain pulled back and he stepped into the shower with me. At first I was stunned.

Then I felt the kisses on the back of my neck.

“Oh my god...” I stated, “That feels so good...”

My eyes were closed as Urge started to kiss me. We were in the water. We were in the warm water and it ran over us. I could feel my body engulfed in it. Everything felt so right. He had that desperate awkwardness of a boy who wasn't raised around sex and things like that. It was clear by the way he kissed me that he wasn't used to it, but I could feel the desire in him.

He kissed loser and lower licking my ass crack. His tongue ran up the side of my buttcheek. He separated it just enough to lick in the hole. I found myself under the water leaning over. The water cascaded down my back.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Was this a dream?

“Yes....god...yes...I love this!” I stated and it only made him stick his entire tongue down my ass at that moment, “Ugh I love you!”

“I love you too.”

The words sounded muffled. They sounded muffled based on the fact that his head was stuffed between my asscheeks. I couldn't make them out but I was so sure. I was SO sure he had told me he loved me too. My heart began to melt. Every part of me seemed to be there right now.

He was jerking my dick as he ate me out in the shower. His tongue went deeper. Deeper. Deeper. I moaned louder and louder. He kept licking in my ass taking full advantage of my body.

“Yes more...more...” I couldn't even last, “I'm about to cum, URGE! I'm about to cum!”

“Urge?”

The voice seemed confused!

That voice wasn't Urge!

I panicked tossing myself to the side of the shower wall so hard I almost cracked my back!

I turned around horrified. That voice wasn't Urge. It was someone much darker. I let out the scream at the top of my lungs that moment. Urge wasn't there behind me.

It was Wrath...

Please go to www.crushedcrown.com to read ahead and leave feedback for the author.