Chapter 3

I was throwing up. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I crept in the back room later that day and I was throwing up. I kept thinking about Yearn. I kept thinking about all those young people who were just shot. Shit had gotten so real now.

"You should do that more quietly."

I turned my back to see Urge standing there. He didn't have a shirt on. He was leaned up against the wall of the bathroom stall. His hands were stretched over him and rested on his head. He stared at me curiously with his constant cool personality. He was so calm and so focused. How could he not be panicking after he saw what we saw.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you."

I was embarrassed. I couldn't stop throwing up though. I let it out in the toilet. Every part of me wanted to tell this boy to get away from me. I didn't want the boy I'd been crushing on this entire time to see me like this. It couldn't have been attractive to be gagging over a toilet in the way that I was doing.

"You don't want the others to look at you as weak."

Was Urge having an actual conversation with me? I was shocked by it. He had gone around ignoring me and pretty much everyone else this entire time but now he was actually having some sort of conversation with me. It was strange to see him standing there talking to me in the way that he was.

"Did you not see what happened out there?"

He nodded, "I saw. No need to sit around and feel sad for them. Look at it this way. Those kids are probably better of than we are."

It was a sad idea that he was saying. He had no sadness behind his eyes though. He seemed cool and collected. If anything the emotion that came to mind was annoyance. He seemed annoyed at this entire situation.

I wondered about Urge. Who was he? Where had he come from? What was his name before this and how had he been kidnapped. He was such a strange and captivating person and I didn't know anything about him.

The only thing I could manage to say to him was a weak, stifled, "I suppose..."

"Good night Desire..."

He knew my name. It was the first time I had heard Urge speak to me. He was short as usual not holding much of a conversation but at the same time I was blown away by him. That was all it took . I wondered if his short conversation was Urge's way of providing some sort of comfort to the situation we were in. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered.

I was woken up early in the morning. It wasn't by Passion like I usually was though. It wasn't even by a moderator. I was woken up by Lust. She was standing over my cot with slanted eyes. I almost jumped out of bed when I saw her there. My heart beat. I don't know why I got so nervous and so afraid when she stared at me. It was still darkness. The sun was just now rising in the sky.

"Come with me."

I didn't say anything else. I just followed Lust down the hall. I noticed the way she walked as I followed her. She had so much confidence in her walk. We walked outside of the dormitory and into the hallway. There were moderators passing back and forth. They all looked busy. None of them seemed to call into question the idea of Lust walking me through the hallways. It was almost like she had free reign of this place.

Lust took me to a room. It was similar to one of the rooms that I had seen before. A part of me was scared. Would I be beaten? Would I be killed?

Her smile spread across her face. I didn't know if the smile was full of deceit or not.

"Desire."

"Yes ma'am."

"How did you sleep last night?" she asked, "I hoped you slept well. I would understand if you didn't, especially with the deaths. Witnessing death is especially hard for the new recruits. I still remember the first time I saw it. Again...it won't get better, but you'll get used to it."

"OK ma'am."

I didn't know what else to say. Was this some sort of fucking psychiatric breakdown or something? She was responsible for the deaths of ten people because they failed a test! I didn't feel like having a conversation with her. I was nervous. My stomach turned in the chair I was sitting it. It kept going.

"Let me get to the point," she stated, "That stomach of yours. I can tell your nervous. I wish I could tell you that you shouldn't be but I'm not sure yet. Maybe you should be very, very nervous. It all depends on how you answer this question I'm about to ask. You ready?"

My stomach turned again.

My eyes stuck on her. I dug a hole into her forehead. I had never felt so afraid in my life. What the fuck was about to happen to me?

"Yes ma'am."

"Then here it goes. Did you cheat on the test I gave you yesterday?"

My stomach turned again. It was louder now. I wanted to throw up again. I wanted to use the bathroom. I didn't know where she was coming from with this but she seemed to intense with her eyes.

"Absolutely not," I told her.

She had papers on the table. She was looking at them. I looked down only for a second to notice what the papers were. They were the test that I had taken. It was all 20 pages of that extremely hard test.

"Interesting. You received a perfect score."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Perhaps," she stated crossing her arms, "You see there have been many people that have taken the test. Getting to the second level or training isn't an easy thing. However there has never been someone who got a perfect score before. How did you do it?"

I didn't know. I didn't think I had gotten a perfect score. The test was hard. I was sure that I had gotten some of the questions wrong.

"Um..."

"Desire."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Do not lie to me. I will know if you are lying to me."

At that moment she moved her hand under the desk. When she brought back her hand she had a gun. The gun was pointed at me. It was a pistol. Lust looked at me. It was almost as though she was trying to read my facial expressions. I was sweating. I was sweating so much at this moment. This lady was going to kill me. She was going to kill me just like she killed Yearn and the others.

I paused, "Ma'am. There must be a mistake. There were a few of those answers that I didn't know. I didn't receive a perfect score."

I was being honest. It was the only thing that I could think to do.

She moved her hand towards the gun. I held my breath as she grabbed it. I was going to die here! God I was going to die here!

I crossed my hands over my eyes.

"OK," was all she said.

I turned to her, "Ma'am?"

"The tests are graded by the 7 deadly sins. I believe that your test may have been somehow tampered with."

I was confused. Lust no longer had the gun out there. Her eyes weren't as intense as they were before. They had softened a lot. She looked different now.

"Why?"

"Someone wants you alive. I'm assuming there was a good chance that you would have failed the test. Otherwise it wouldn't have been tampered with. For reason I believe Wrath is responsible for this."

Wrath. Sandy. I shook my head. I didn't know whether to be thankful or freaked out. He had kidnapped me and brought me here. Now he was cheating on tests for me.

I felt sick all over again really. I would have died if he hadn't cheated on me. I kept thinking about Yearn. I kept thinking about Enthrall running for that door. I could have been one of those people laying in a pool of my own blood. I wasn't ready to die.

"Are you going to tell the Moderators?" I asked.

I was afraid of the answer. For some reason I was under the assumption that we were all disposable. Maybe they would test me again. Maybe they would cut their loses and just kill me right at that moment.

"No. I won't. Don't tell anyone about this," she stated, "Go get dressed and join the others in the courtyard today. Your training begins."

I wanted to thank her. I wasn't sure how she would respond to that. I felt like this lady was doing me a huge favor somehow. However there was something about this Wrath guy that was unnerving. It seemed to be unnerving her and I didn't know why.

"Where's you been?" Passion asked me.

I had joined the others in a courtyard. It was cold outside after all this time kind of felt good. I didn't mind the cold really. Passion, Ardor and Craving were standing in a circle waiting for me. Everyone was grouped up with their usual friends. Not too far I could see Urge. He was standing by himself as usual playing too cool to really get along with everyone.

"I had a meeting with Lust."

The look on Passion and Craving's face made it clear that it was odd. Hell I knew it was odd myself.

"We thought you were a goner," Craving stated.

"I don't know how to respond to that? Sorry to disappoint, I guess," I stated.

Craving laughed. I was trying to sound confident but honestly I was scared out of my mind just a few minutes ago.

"Here she comes..."

We all got extremely quiet as we heard the bells. It was Lust. The moderators were walking up with her. There were ten moderators. It made me nervous every time I saw them. They were all pushing wheelbarrows. The wheelbarrows were full of these rocks. I looked down at them and I could feel my heart.

"Congratulations to all of you for moving on to the second round of training. The physical training starts today. I know most of you are nervous. It's OK. Use those nerves. Take hold of your fear. Use your fear of death to push you further than you've ever gone before."

"She sounds like Abe Lincoln or something," Craving whispered in my ear.

"Shh!" I elbowed him.

Craving shut up. At that moment Lust was in my face however. She stared me up and down. I wondered what she was thinking.

Her mouth opened and she screamed so hard that I jumped back, "Three times! Three times a day you are all to carry your weight up the path and back. Do not leave the path. You are all preparing yourself. Not all of you will make it to the 3rd ranking. Good luck."

The first two days were the hardest. By the end of the third week it had become a little easier. Each day we walked up a path that lead through a mountainous area. I figured we had to be somewhere in the North. I wasn't sure if we were in America though. I saw no signs of civilization anywhere around us. We were cut off from all of it. The rocks were heavy as fuck. We only had book bags to take them up the mountains and our shoes weren't really worth much of anything.

I could tell there was a huge difference in the group. It seemed a lot more competitive. Before we all seemed to want to help each other out but now it seemed like everyone had split themselves up into four groups. You helped your friends. That's how it worked.

I had become close of course to Passion and Craving. Craving's boyfriend Ardor was our fourth. Ardor tended to slow us down most of the time. He wasn't as physically strong as the rest of us.

"Today is the test. The last two of you that come back will be cut," Lust had announced at the end of the first week.

I had to admit that we were prepared. I had done the path so many times. My legs had become conditioned to it.

We started out. Moving fast. The path was several miles through woodland. We would have to climb rocks and everything. We weren't given water by the Moderators until we completed the task. We were in the middle of the pack as we moved. I felt like we would have been in the front of the pack if it wasn't for Ardor once again.

"Get your boyfriend moving," Passion stated.

Ardor was close enough to hear Passion's words. I knew that people were changing. I remember when I first met Passion she seemed much kinder. Lately she had been getting antsy. She was changing and she was changing for the worse. I think we all were actually at this point.'

"He's moving as fast as he can," Craving stated.

Another group of four passed us in the next few minutes. It wasn't a team game but for the most part we all knew that only four of us would survive all of the training. I wanted my friends to survive.

"If you don't move, I'll fucking leave," Passion stated.

"Then leave! We don't have to stick together."

"Everyone calm down," I stated shaking my head, "There are still others behind us. We need to stay calm and keep moving forward."

As though someone was testing me I could hear thunder clap in the sky. Passion and I exchanged looks. A part of me was wondering if I should probably leave with her. Life and death was different from friendship. I liked Ardor but was I willing to risk my life for him? No I wasn't. I wasn't willing to do that at all. Passion looked like she was having the same thought.

"Rain..." she stated.

In the next moments as she said that the rain started to come down on the path. The woods were thick but somehow when it rained they seemed to get so much more miserable. I had only walked the path once in the rain and it was the hardest time I'd done it. The rain beat up against us as we made our way through the woods.

"What's the point of this anyway?" Craving asked, "When do we get to shoot a fucking gun or something?"

I think he was making small talk because of the fact that it was his boyfriend that was slowing him down. Passion didn't seem the least bit interested. She was leading us up the hill.

"Maybe that's next," I told him.

I turned back. Ardor was struggling as usual. He was going extremely slow. It was so odd to me. The rest of us had gotten so strong but he hadn't. How the fuck do you do a task three times a day and still not be good at it. I could feel so much frustration in my blood as I looked back at him.

"Do you think there is a way through these woods?" Craving asked me, "Maybe we drop this load. Maybe we run off. The moderators are miles back. By the time they catch up to us. We'll be dead."

Passion rolled her eyes, "Can you concentrate on keeping your fucking boyfriend moving and stop with the chit-chat?"

"It helps us," Craving stated, "Hope. You know?

"Where would we go? We don't even know where we are," I replied, "It just doesn't make sense if you think about it. You got to be reasonable."

"I suppose your right. They probably have cameras in these trees watching us right now. Who knows when they are watching us."

I wouldn't be surprised. The Moderators were so comfortable in the fact that we wouldn't try to run away. Maybe that was a test.

"We should keep moving," I told Craving.

The conversation was getting on Passion's nerves. We kept up the hill. Craving would start talking every once in a while though as he usually would. Passion would be annoyed as she usually was. Ardor was still struggling behind us but we we had made our way to the top of the path and were heading back already.

As we made it back we saw two people walking up. I recognized them. "How many people do you think are behind us?"

"Two...Carnal and Sensuality," Passion stated.

I recognized the names but I had never had a conversation with the two of them. It was strange to know they were behind us. Besides Craving they were two of the bigger guys in the group. They were always together but again I hadn't had much to say about them.

"We're cutting it close," Craving stated.

"Are you prepared to leave Ardor...if you have to?" Passion whispered to him.

I looked back to see where Ardor was. He was about twenty feet behind us. He was just dragging by his side.

"He's fine. I won't have to leave him. Carnal and Sensuality are strong but they are dumb as rocks," Craving stated, "Trust me. I work out with them at night. I know them. They'll probably get lost in these woods five times over."

Craving shook his head. The look on his eyes that he was giving Passion was something different. Things were definitely changing. Everyone was on edge. I thought about trying to make an intervention again but more and more I began to realize that it wasn't the time nor place. It was clear that Passion and Craving were getting on each other however. They were clearly not getting a long.

"We aren't here to fall in love," Passion explained.

"Relax OK. Look. There goes a third person we passed. We'll be fine..."

"Urge...ain't that funny. I could have sworn he was number 1 before," Passion stated, "Funny how the tables turn...I guess Ardor is going to make it after all."

It was Urge. He was alone as usual. He was the only one who didn't belong to a group. He was down on the mountain path. I could see him struggling with something but I didn't know what it was. He noticed us walking past him but he didn't call out for help. He just continued to struggle with whatever he was struggling with. I was confused. What the fuck was he doing down there?

"I got to go help him," I stated.

"What?" Passion asked, "Are you fucking crazy? Help him. This is a competition Desire. What the hell is wrong with you people. Am I the only one who wants to live?"

"She's right. Desire leave him. Sensuality and Carnal aren't that far behind. You remember that the last two don't make it. You know what not making it means don't you?"

I was being stupid. I knew I was being stupid. I had no idea what Urge was doing. He was off the path in a ditch. There was a boulder right next to him. How the fuck had he gotten down there? The rain was beating faster and faster. It was just coming down heavily.

"You wouldn't leave Ardor would you?" I asked Craving.

Craving looked at me with a strange look, "Ardor is different. Urge is a fucking asshole. Don't you see the guy working out all the time? Plus he doesn't talk to anyone. He thinks he's above us. We all have a better chance of getting to the final four if he's gone anyway."

"I'm going back."

I stopped and started going back.

"Wait. Wait we'll come with you," Craving stated.

"Come with him?" Passion asked, "Fuck that. Desire grow up. Stop thinking with your dick. He doesn't want you. He straight up has said that he isn't interested. Leave him a lone. We are running out of time!"

Time.

"Go. Leave me."

"We aren't going to fucking leave you."

"Go all of you. Get Ardor out of here!" I told them.

Craving was hesitant. He definitely had a heart. I guess that is what I liked about him. He talked a lot. He joked around a lot but under all that muscle and power there was a heart. Passion shook her head and said something about being disappointed but I didn't hear what she had to say. I was already headed towards Urge.

When I looked back I realized that Craving, Passion and Ardor had gone on ahead. I figured if I was doing something stupid I was glad that I wasn't going to let it affect my friends as well.

As I got closer to Urge he seemed surprised that I was there.

"Are you stuck?"

"Are we the last two?" he asked and when I thought about it he quickly screamed out in a louder stronger voice, "ARE WE THE LAST TWO!"

"No. No we aren't," I stated shaking my head, "There are two others behind us. They aren't that far back. Do you need some help? I came back for you..."

He gave me a suspicious look almost like a wounded animal cornered somewhere. He seemed like he didn't trust me. His eyes squinted. Even while he looked like that I had to admit this boy was fucking beautiful. I had never seen someone so beautiful before. He was so resistant however. Even while I was trying to help him he seemed like he didn't trust me at all.

"Stay back!"

"What? Are serious?" I asked shaking my head, "I came over to fucking help you. What the hell is the matter with you?"

Urge paused for a moment. He was stuck between that rock and looking up at me. His eyes were gleaming at me with this strong distrust. He watched every one of my movements even as I put my hands up to show him that I meant peace.

"What's your motivation?"

"Motivation? This isn't a goddam Broadway musical," I said shaking my head, "I don't know who hurt you in your past. I don't know what you been through. Hell I don't know ANYTHING about you. No one does. All I know is that I'd like to help you but that is up to you. I can help you or you can sit here and be a dickhead."

His face calmed down. The look of panic seemed to slowly drift away. He still seemed cautious but instead of watching me he had gone back to struggling. I realized what he was struggling with as I got closer. His leg was stuck between two boulders.

"I fell..." he stated, "I was running. I was trying to make it back first...I was in the lead. I got a little fanatic and slipped."

"What's the point of making it first?" I asked confused, "You just had to make sure that you weren't the last two...here let me help."

"I need to be first...always."

I didn't know what he meant by that. It was a strange comment. Did he take some sort of pride in this? I had no idea. I didn't take any pride in it.

"Personally, I am fine with just getting by. You're a strange one Mr. Urge," I told him shaking my head, "You think you going to win an award or something for being first? I don't think the Moderators are really much into huge praises. But what do I know..."

"Are you going to chat me up all day or are you going to actually help?" Urge asked, "We can't be the last two."

I sighed but reached over to help him. He handed me his hand and I started to pull. I pulled a couple times hard. I pulled one time really hard and I could feel him starting to wiggle free. He put his other foot on a boulder and pushed thoroughly.

He tossed his body forward, knocking me over with him!

His body tackled me to the ground. He was free but now he was pinning me down.

He was on top of me. God this boy was beautiful. I was obsessed. He smelled like cinnamon or something like that. The soap they gave us to bathe with was the cheap shit. How the fuck did he smell so good. His blue eyes looked down on me. A part of me wanted to lean up and kiss him right here and right now. Hell, if I died today at least I would have gotten a kiss from my dream boy.

"You smell so good," I said.

Really? Was that the best I could think of? I used to have so much game before I met Urge. There was something about him that just made me corny. If I wasn't puking around him I was saying stupid corny compliments in the absolute wrong time. No wonder he looked at me like I was a waste of space.

"You're ridiculous," he replied coldly pushing off of me.

"And you're welcome."

"Look. Let's get moving. I do NOT want your blood on my hands."

We started up the hill at that moment running as fast as we can holding the rocks in our book bags. I was sure the others had probably made it mostly there by now. As we made it up the hill I felt like Urge was literally dragging me behind him.

"Are you OK?"

Urge was bleeding. His foot looked like it was sprained. Every step that he made his face grimaced a little bit. It had to have been bad but there was no slowing him down. He was actually pulling me behind him as we crossed through the trees.

"I'm fine," he stated, "There. Two others."

He was limping from his foot but somehow he still managed to move fast. What the fuck was this boy made out of?

"Those are the last two," I warned him.

They were ahead of us. They weren't far ahead of us but they were ahead of us. The way that Urge was moving though and dragging me along I was sure we'd probably pass them.

It was Carnal and Sensuality. Carnal was the bigger of the two. He was built like a mountain. Sensuality was about the same size and Craving. They were really big guys and had that whole football player thing going for them. I was sure just like Craving that they had to have been in some sort of sport before we came here. Maybe they were off to do college football or something when they were kidnapped. I'd never asked.

I could see the end.

It was about a quarter of a mile down the hill. I could Passion. I could see Craving. They were screaming out. I knew they weren't damn well rooting for Urge. They were screaming for me.

"Keep moving. Don't slow down. No matter what don't slow down."

"We're going to pass them...we are!"

"Shut up. Don't slow down."

My feet felt like they were glue. I had never run the path before. There was something about Urge driving me though. It was almost like he was guiding me to push myself to my limits. I wondered if this was what Lust had meant. The fear of death made me do something inhuman. I was moving so fast and soon we were neck and neck with Carnal and Sensuality.

Carnal made eye contact with me on the path.

The finish line was close. My friends were screaming out for me. Hell, I think Craving was about to break his vocal chords or something. He was screaming that loud.

"Get them."

I thought I misheard for a second but then I realized I was wrong. It was Carnal that came at me first.

He hit me on the path tackling me on the ground. My hands slipped from Urge. I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I just felt myself going down. I banged hard on the ground from when Carnal tackled me.

My head had hit a rock below me. There was blood gushing out of it. The cold chilling rain was falling over me and that was probably the only reason that I didn't black out.

"What the fuck? What the fuck? You fucking HIT ME!" I told Carnal.

He hit me again. This time he kneed me in my rib cage. I let out a strong bellow. I had no idea what the fuck this was about. The world seemed to go gray. All I heard was the screaming of Passion and Craving. Lust and the Moderators were there. They were watching me get attack.

I saw Carnal pick up a rock. It was a huge rock. He lifted it in the air about to smash my head in! What the fuck was going on!

Didn't anyone see him? Why was Lust and the Moderators letting this happen!

"I'm sorry," Carnal stated as he was about to lower the rock over my head.

Just as he was about to smash my head open he struggled. I noticed why immediately. It was Urge! Urge had jumped on Carnal's back. Urge was wrestling him now. Urge was almost half Carnal's size but he had managed to start choking him. Urge managed to take him down. Urge pushed him to the ground and Carnal was gasping for air.

I watched behind me as Sensuality joined in the fight. Sensuality tried to go after Urge. They squared off for a minute. I was so dizzy from Carnal's surprise attack that I hadn't even noticed.

I knew that Urge had come back for me though.

He could have crossed that line without me. He didn't though.

"Urge. Be careful!" I screamed out.

"Get back now!" he instructed me.

I tried to get up. As I pushed off of the ground I felt a hand grabbing at my feet. It was Carnal. This big motherfucker wouldn't stay down. He was still gasping from air from being chocked out by Urge but he managed to be able to grab my feet.

I did the only thing I could. I kicked him, stepping my foot as hard as I can into his face. I brought my foot back. I delivered another kick to his throat.

I watched as he started to choke. I kicked him one last time for good measure.

"Urge!" I screamed out.

He wasn't listening to me. I had realized that him and Sensuality were now in a boxing match of some sort. Urge was fast. He had raised his foot off the ground and was only standing on one foot. I had never seen someone fight like that.

Sensuality flailed wildly at him, "Stay still motherfucker!"

Urge kept moving around, winding his body back and forth with the wind. He jabbed Sensuality twice and Sensuality seemed to be taken off guard by Urge's quick punches. Sensuality made a noise of frustration.

"Come on. Come at me," Urge told him.

It seemed to push Sensuality over the edge. He started towards him. At first I thought he was going to tackle Urge. I even screamed out for Urge. Urge managed to get free through, reversing Sensuality's grasp. Then he did something that I didn't expect. He got behind Sensuality. He kicked Sensuality in the back of his legs.

Sensuality fell to his knees facing out towards the woods.

Urge put put one hand on the back of Sensuality's head. His other hand was on Sensuality's chin. Then he did it. He snapped his neck.

Sensuality's cold dead body hit the ground at that moment. Urge didn't pay it any mind. I looked at him realizing what had just happened. Urge was breathing heavily. He started towards me but didn't stop.

Sensuality was dead and Carnal was still too weak from getting attacked to stand up.

Urge was limping on one food. He was walking past me.

I didn't know what to feel. I guess the first feeling was shock. The second feeling was not much different from the first. Urge had just killed someone.

As he walked past me he stopped just long enough to say, "Now we're even..."

For more from this author and to read ahead please go to www.crushedcrown.com