Chapter 7

Urge's voice was fierce and his command was loud.

“Again.”

I threw the knife. Perfect target.

“Again.”

I threw another knife. Perfect...

“Again.”

Perfect.

“Again. Again. Again. Again.”

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Shit...off target.

“What the fuck was that?” Urge asked me, “Are you joking me right now...that is almost an inch from the target. Since when do you miss by an inch?'

It had been months. I wasn't sure how many but if I had to guess I would have said eight. It kind of scared me to ask for the date. The date meant time. It meant time in the outside world that I was losing. It meant time that I would never get back. We were still in rank 3 and still mastering our weapon skills. Sometimes I thought Rank 3 would last forever. I didn't think it was possible that I could get any better with my knife skills. I didn't think it was possible that anyone was better than me...anywhere. When you do something over and over again everyday you tend to be the best at it.

“I'm sorry,” I told him.

“You think the moderators care if you're sorry? You know who else is sorry? Yearn is sorry. Carnal is sorry. There are lot of sorry-ass dead people. And you know what? Don't think an inch doesn't matter. It does. Everyone is getting better. Not just you. Do you want to make it to Rank 4 or not?”

The moderators were right behind us taking notes on my performance. I had been throwing knives across 20 feet distances all day at wooden target with an extremely tiny target outlined by it. Urge had removed the regular targets and hung up the expert level targets. I could have mentioned that to him. I also hadn't missed in weeks even by an inch in weeks. I could have mentioned that point to Urge as well but I knew it wouldn't matter to him.

“I'll be better,” I corrected myself.
“Better?”
It wasn't good enough for Urge.

“I'll be the best.”

He nodded. He put a comforting hand on the back of my neck. Every once in a while he would touch me...even a little bit. It meant the world when he did though. Just a soft touch that let me know that he cared. It was more then he gave anyone else in the world.

A soft touch was all that I needed from him.

“C`mon let's hit the showers...”

He had gotten out of the showers at the same time as me. We spent a lot of the day together. Craving was pissed about it. The most I saw Craving was in the mesh hall. I spent most of my day training intensely with Urge. I felt stronger. I could do anything now. I was living weapon and I knew it.

“That water never gets fucking warm,” I complained and turned around to see him, “It's like---”

Urge was drying off his skin. Seeing him naked never got tired. My mouth dropped. My eyes just stared at him. I just watched his carved torso and his round ass. He had the deepest V's everywhere over his body. There was a deep V right above the arch of his ass. There was a deep V in his back when he flexed. There was deep V in his abdomen area. His dick was beautiful. It had a slight bend to it that I always thought was the cutest thing in the world.

Yes I was still in love with him even after all these months. I was more in love with him than ever and I didn't know if that was possible.

Urge caught me staring.

“What?”

“Huh?
“You said 'it's like'. You just stopped talking mid-sentence.”

Yeah. He still didn't care about how I looked at him. He had to have noticed. I wasn't the type of person who was scared to look. He had to know by now how I felt by him. He had to know I worshiped the ground he walked on. Urge wasn't an idiot. He knew.

“Sorry.”

“What did I say about apologizing?” he asked shaking his head, “Just finish what you were saying. C`mon. It's like...like what?”

“Winter.”

“Huh?”

“It's like winter and the water is so cold. What is the date?”

“You never ask the date,” he noticed shaking his head clear all of a sudden before squinting his eyes in deep thought, “It is December 12^th.”

I smirked.

December 12^th.

Urge didn't think anything about it. He went over to the sink. He was about to brush his teeth. I was obsessed with him. I loved the way his teeth were so fucking bleach white. I loved just watching him brush his teeth. The more I thought about it the more I realized I was become obsessed with Urge. It made me think about Wrath sometimes. Wrath was obsessed with me in the same way. Luckily I hadn't seen Wrath in months. Maybe he was over it and would leave me alone.

Something was off.

Immediate action.

My feet moved faster then my brain. My left hand jerked forward to slap Urge's wrist but he caught me. I managed to be faster moving my other hand knocking his toothbrush out of his hand.

Urge seemed pissed. As soon I slapped his wrist and knocked his toothbrush out of his hand he grappled me up. He put me up against the wall. His naked body was pressed up against my naked body. My legs were parted. I could straddle him just like this. I wanted to. I wanted to make love to him just like this.

“There better be a good fuckin' reason you just did that.”

“Is your life a good reason?” I asked him.

“What?”

I took my time answering. I didn't mind this position at all. Hell I would needed to smack Urge more often when he was naked if this is the reaction I was going to get. I was so turned on right now. “The toothbrush. It was laced in Belladonna. It's a poison plant used the middle ages. A single leaf is lethal if consumed.”

He paused. He still held me up against the wall.

“You're sure?”

I didn't know much about being an assassin other than two things. I knew my knives and I knew my poisons. I had spent months focusing on just the two. I couldn't help but smile.

“I was a chef, remember? My sense of smell is second to none.”

Urge dropped me. I thought he was going to examine the toothbrush but he just reached into the storage cabinet that was in the back of the bathroom for a brand new one. The moderators stocked the storage cabinets from time to time so people wouldn't have to keep bothering them for supplies.

Urge wasn't going to thank me. It was ok. I didn't do it for thanks. I was just glad to see his face when he realized I had noticed something that he completely missed.

He rolled his eyes muffling off an accusation as he brushed his teeth, “Allure.”

“She's still trying to kill you?”

“Sure is. Everyday.”

That Russian bitch had resolve. I had to give it to her. She had kept trying to kill Urge every chance she got in the first month after she found out that he was Tom's son. I thought she had finally given up though. I thought she'd realized that Urge wasn't the type to just lay down and die. I guess I was wrong...

“Why didn't you tell me?”

He continued brushing his teeth. He didn't seem too worried about it. He was even taking his time to answer me as though looking for a good enough reason. When he was done brushing his teeth he rinsed his mouth out with water. He smiled in the mirror. A perfect smile. It was a shame he hardly ever used it.

“What's the point?” he asked, “What were you going to do about it?”

“Maybe help save your ass like I just did.”

Urge rolled his eyes, “I didn't want to bother you about it. Allure has her reasons to want to kill me. It's understandable. Maybe one day she'll succeed. Maybe not. We'll see I guess. I'm not going to stress over it though. I'm not going to let it rule my life.”

“That's not normal. You know?”

“What killing people?”

“Yeah. I mean I know your dad is some psychotic madman but being an assassin isn't normal. You shouldn't get used to it.”

“What's normal then, smart ass?”

I shrugged.

I hadn't thought that deep into it.

“Look. Whatever. Let's not get off topic,” I stated shaking my head, “Allure is trying to kill you. Gdam it. We should go do something. We should kill her first.”
“Oh please...”

“We can take her, I'm stronger now.”
“And so is she. Look. I'm not interested in her. I'm interested in me being the best and you know you I'm interested in you being second.”

He didn't smile or anything like that. I knew he was trying to be a smart ass. A few months ago I didn't think Urge had a sense of humor. That wasn't the case. Urge did have a sense of humor but he was just socially awkward. He was REALLY socially awkward. He had no idea how to communicate with people. I was the only one he really ever talked to even now. No one else really heard him say more than a few sentences at a time.

I smiled at his teasing, “I saved your life. You know what this means don't you? You know what this means?”

“No... I don't know what this means.”

“We're even!”

He rolled his eyes.

“Jesus Christ, I forgot about that.”

“How can you forget? That's our thing. Now it's your turn to save me. You have to save me again. I'm glad cause hell maybe I'll need it. It's my birthday after all.”

He turned to me. He raised an eyebrow confused.

“It's your birthday.”

“Yep. December 12^th. Crazy huh?”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“You didn't tell me about Allure killing you, which is a little bit more important,” I told Urge, “Besides. I'm not that guy anymore. I can hardly remember that guys name. You know my name? My name is Desire. Plain and simple. No last name. No birthday. Just my knives and my poison. And on a good day a knife dipped in poison.”

He winked at me, “You're getting dangerous aren't you?”

I smiled.

“You have no idea...”

=========================================================================

The day was going by relatively quickly. Poisons training was my favorite really. People hated poisons so it was a lot of time to myself. I rather would have preferred Urge to be around. Usually he never left me alone too long. He'd even come to my poison training and he would sleep in a corner. He wasn't there today though. I felt lonely a little out of it.

I dove into my poisons though. I loved natural poisons more then the chemical derived ones. I liked to mix poisons together from nature and come up with new poisons. It was interesting...sort of like finding new recipes for meals. More and more it kind of made sense why I was chosen to be here in a sick way. Even though I wasn't trained in battle, knowing how to cook to the level I did gave me some unique skills.

I was dug in that day, cutting through poisons and using the scapel to dissect leaves to get out the poisonous parts. I had become very good at it. It was chemistry really. I had to understand everything about these poisons. Urge thought it was super boring.

Footsteps. Not moderator. Not familiar footsteps. Nor Urge. I never heard Urge coming.

Sneaky footsteps.

Someone was sneaking up on me!

I grabbed my scalpel. I dipped it in poison. I slid across the table turning around at the same time. I was across the table away from harms way and I sent the scalpel flying across the room in one quick toss.

The boy was cut across his cheek and the scalpel ended on on a back wall barely missing a moderator scoring me in the back who didn't flinch even a little bit when the scalpel lodged in the wall next to her head.

“I missed you on purpose,” I told him, “I could have sent that scalpel right into your esophagus if I wanted to. I'm not the one, bitch boy.”

I recognized him but only barely. He had a sneaky face. He had a face that couldn't be trusted. I hadn't been introduced to him before but I had seen his face in passing. I scanned my memory. Where? I wished Urge was here. Urge had a great memory. He never forgot things. I wasn't Urge though. I forgot things all the time.

“I know. I've heard amazing things about your skills,” he stated.

“That scalpel was dipped in a lethal poison,” I told him, “In 2 and a half minutes your throat will close up. You will begin to gag. You will lose your sight at 3 minutes. At 4 minutes most of your major organs will collapse. At 5 minutes you'll be dead. All this unless I give you the antidote.”

He smiled in a sick way. It was super sick.

He wasn't attractive like most of the assassins here. His face looked like he had been somewhat disfigured. His smile didn't go all the way up. The fact that he was smiling after I told him what was on the scalpel pissed me off.

Did he think I wouldn't let him die?

His eyes twinkled a little bit, “You're so impressive. I'm so glad I'm talking to you. You are as good as he thought you would be...special...”

There was something so odd just about the way he was talking. There was something so odd about the way he was looking at me. It was almost like he was...obsesssed. It started to click who this boy was all of a sudden.

I crossed my arms. I was NOT the one to be fucked with. Not anymore. I was not a victim in this.

My face was serious. The most serious face I could make.

I smiled back at him, “2 minutes until it begins. Do you feel the tightness in your throat? Now do you plan on telling me who you are, why you were sneaking up on me and why your hands are behind your back?”

“To surprise you silly. It's your birthday! Duh! My name is Temper.”

Temper? I was able to pair that up with one of the 7 sins almost immediately. I would have known who he was even if he didn't tell me. There was something familiar about the sick way that he spoke.

“Wrath sent you. You're one of his students...”

“The last of his students. The others didn't make it past rank 3,” he said laughing.

He thought it was funny. It was rare to see another student in these parts. The moderators had separated the training teams out completely. I guess if he was the only one to make it though he wasn't just a regular student anymore. Temper had made it on Wrath's team. Wrath had a protege in Temper. Temper seemed to be like Wrath Jr. or something. He had that same twisted stare. He had that same scary, disgusting look etched on his face.

He made me just as nervous.

“You answered two of three questions. Answer the last and I'll let you live,” I told him, “What's behind your back.”

He smiled.

“Roses SILLY. It's your birthday,” he stated and smiled calmly, collectively, “My throat is closing up. It would be an honor to die to the man that loves Wrath so much, but Wrath wanted me to return, see...”

It freaked me out how kept calling me silly. It freaked me out that he had been poisoned and was about to die but his main concern was the fact that Wrath wanted him to come back. He was sick. He was twisted. He sounded just like Wrath. He was using the same words as Wrath. I could only imagine how sick he could have been to be the only one to survive Wrath's training class. I didn't want to be near him.

“Leave the roses. The antidote is on the desk I was working on. Green syringe. Take the entire thing.”
He smiled. He kept his eyes on me with this almost loving look. It was almost a look of admiration. This motherfucker was crazy and Wrath was STILL stalking me.

He pulled flowers from behind his back. They were red. Roses.

Temper took the antidote, turned and walked away smiling the entire time like he was someone who had just gone on a impressive date instead of someone who was just minutes away from losing his life.

I looked down at the roses when Temper had left the room. Something was off about the roses. Something was DEFINITELY off about them. I touched one of the leaves. It seemed as if they were soaked in something. They seemed a little too red.

Blood!
I dropped the roses immediately, breaking the vases underneath me.

“You ok?”
I turned. I hadn't even seen Craving walk in at that moment. My guard was down. That wasn't good. I had let the blood soaked roses get to me. Craving was standing behind me. Out of everyone I knew Craving had heavy footsteps. I should have heard him coming. Urge would have been pissed if he knew I was slipping like this.

“Yes...”
I stood in front of him. Blocking the flowers. The last thing I wanted to do was having Craving worry about me.

“You sure?” he asked.

I nodded smiling intently, “I'm great. Look. What did you need?”
“Urge wanted to see you.”
“He sent you.”

“Yeah.”

“That's a little odd. You hate Urge.”

“Look you going to come or not. Geez.”

I laughed. I trusted Craving with my life and more. I followed behind him glad that I was leaving the room. I wanted to be far away from any thought of Wrath.

We made our way back to the dorm room. I kept wondering what the hell Urge would have wanted with me really. I didn't question it though. It wasn't until I got to the dormitory that the lights flickered on and I realized what was going on.

“SURPRISE!”
I had put my guard up and tripped Ardor who was running towards me.

“Wow. You almost killed my boyfriend,” Craving replied, “Remind me never to throw you a surprise birthday party.”

“Oh my god.”

That was exactly what this was. It was a surprise birthday party. I was shocked. I immediatley helped Craving pick up Ardor off the floor. His nose was bleeding. I had tripped him really hard. It made sense now that he was just running towards me to give me a hug.

Everyone who I knew was there. Passion, Allure, Romance, Glamour, Craving and Ardor were around me. They were waving streamers around in the air. Glamour even had blow horn. I had idea how they got these things.

Where was Urge?
“Look at this...it's a cake...” Ardor stated, “I cooked it up in the kitchens behind the mesh hall. I didn't even know I could do it but the moderators didn't stop me so I just kept going! I know it's not up to your standards...you being a chef and all but you know. It's ok.”
I hugged Ardor. He was the sweetest guy.

“Craving is lucky to have you man.”

“He's lucky to have you too. AS a friend. Don't get no ideas trying to steal my man.”

I laughed. He was standing there with a huge chocolate cake. It had candles it in already with the numbers 19 written out. I was shocked. I almost wanted to cry really. I had birthday parties before. I had surprise birthday parties before but this was different.

The craziest year of my life and I still managed to get a birthday cake. I felt like that old Jonathan...the one who wasn't trained to be an assassin.

For the first time in almost a year I hadn't felt like Desire.

Craving came upt o me next, “Ok. My turn. This is for my best friend in the whole wide world. I want you to enjoy your birthday. I want you to turn up tonight and forget about where we are. I want you to be happy. You hear me. Tomorrow we are assassins...but tonight we are teenagers...”

Teenagers.

The idea seemed like such a foreign concept to me.

He handed me his gift. It was wrapped up sloppily in only a way that Craving could wrap something up. The funny thing is was that it was pretty good for craving.

“Did you eat the packaging baby?” Ardor asked.

Craving pushed him, “Shut up. It's the thought that counts.”

“You're right,” I stated unwrapping the gift, “The thought...is....really Craving? Porn?”

They were porn magazines. There were male and female in there. A lot of them had both. Bisexual porn with the guys fucking the girls while sucking another guy's dick. I couldn't take this. I laughed so much that I started to cry at that moment.

“Now you can stop beating your dick to Urge in the showers. They are starting to get really fucking sticky.”

“You KNOW about that?”
“I'm your best friend dummy...”

I felt embarrassed but at the same time, fuck it. It was my birthday. It didn't matter. Everyone knew by now that there was nothing I liked more than a little bit of Urge. I sure did beat my dick to him every time I got the chance. And I loved it too. His memory of seeing his tight body was way better than any porn that I could ever watch.

I had noticed that the girls were laughing at everything but they seemed a little standoffish. I guess it was the fact that there had been this huge tension between us all. I was protecting Urge. Craving was protecting me. Ardor was, well...Ardor was on our side trying his best, I guess.

Allure came over to me. She had a present. She had it wrapped up, “This is from me and the girls. You know we may want to kill your boyfriend but we believe it or not...we actually like you kid...”
I couldn't help but laugh. Allure stood with her cronies behind her. Glamour, Romance and even Passion were just smiling on watching as I started to open her gift. I opened the gift to reveal that it was weed.”
“Really? Drugs?”
“We got it from poisons. We told the moderators that we needed it to make some very potent poisons,” Romance laughed.

“Hey. It's for all of us. We deserve something to take our mind off of this shit.”
I was smiling hard. I missed weed, “Well fuck it. Light it up!”

They didn't even wait for me to say another word. They started lighting up the weed. The blunts were already rolled. The stuff was potent. They had put a wet towel under the door to hide the scent. It was definitely some potent stuff.

“Smoke! SMOKE! SMOKE!”
I heard the chants.

I took a big puff of the weed. It went straight into my nostrils and into my brain. Fuck. Yeah. I needed that. I felt an immediate high come over me. I started coughing my lungs out at the minute and watched as everyone else around me started to laugh.

“That's that Cali Kush,” Romance said.

We passed it around in circles. We were immediately getting high and everything seemed funny. I hadn't seen Craving and Passion share a laugh in a minute but all of a sudden they were all joking around.

And I was happy.

I was more than happy.

My heart felt warm. I felt like even in times of sadness. Even in times of tribulation there was still that one glimpse of hope. There was still those people who would go through it all with you. They would battle you. They would argue. In our world they would even try to kill you, but the struggle was real. The struggle brought the relationships. The struggle brought the respect. I respected these people. I respected everyone, even Allure. Even Passion. Even Ardor.

These people may have not all been my friends.

But these people were my companions in this fucked up place called the Assembly.

And sometimes that meant more.

“Bring your mouth over here,” Craving stated, “I want to try something.”

“Don't let Ardor kill me,” I laughed.

Ardor laughed. He knew that Craving was far from my type though. Craving took a hit of the weed held it in his mouth and then blew it into my mouth. There was laughter again. I found myself doing the same thing to Ardor next.

“You're worried about my boyfriend being jealous...” Craving whispering while laughing, “You might want to take a look over there.”

Urge was on the other side of the wall. He was leaned up against it. His eyes were intently watching me give and get shotgunned. Urge didn't get jealous though. Did he? As usual you didn't even see him walking in. You didn't know he was there. The perfect assassin. When he noticed me staring he turned and walked back towards the locker rooms in the back.

“I'll be right back.”'

They hadn't even noticed I was leaving. It was cool with me. Everyone was having a good time. They deserved it. We all deserved a party once in a while.

I walked over to Urge who was sitting in the back. He had a ever so slight smirk on his face. His shirt was off and his pants were a little too big. They sagged right underneath the V line etched into his torso. He was so fucking sexy. He had this quiet, awkward SWAG about him that just drove me crazy every time I saw him.

“You having fun kissing your friends?” he asked me.

I almost wanted to tease him about him being jealous but I knew that was impossible.

“It wasn't a kiss. It was a shotgun.”

“What?”

“Jesus. You never did a shotgun.”

He seemed confused, “What are you talking about? You know I use shotguns all the time. You watch me use the Semi-automatic shotgun and the M500 Pump Shotgun almost every...uh, oh shit. Wait. You didn't mean an actual shotgun, did you?”

I laughed. He was too cute. I was pretty sure that he'd never done drugs in his life.

“No, Urge. No. Not at all.”

“I'm not good at those things.”

“What things?”

“Those social things.”

“You seem fine to me. You just need to get out there and communicate with people more. Stop being so damn shy.”

He shook his head, “I'm fine with talking to you. Just you.”

I smiled. It was flattering and sad at the same time. I didn't know how Urge was raised but I could only imagine that it had to be difficult. He probably never knew a world like I knew. He never got to experience that normal life that the rest of us did. I could tell by how he was so awkward even though he never went into great detail.

“You can get out there. You know how to dislocate an arm in 20 ways. Having a conversation isn't hard. You do it with me all the time.”

“You're special.”

Urge wasn't trying to flatter me. I knew he wasn't. I wish I didn't take it as that though. I wish I didn't hear him say something that was just a flat out fact in his mind as him him trying to flirt. I sighed. I was so in love with this guy it was kind of pathetic.

“I'll take it.”

“Look behind you. To the right. I got you something,” he stated.

“Are you serious? Oh my god. I wasn't expecting it. I mean I probably would have expected it from the girls who wanted to kill us even before I expected it from you.”
“You're pushing it...” he said bluntly.

“Sorry. Sorry! Oh my god. I'm so excited.”

I couldn't even imagine what it was. I opened the box.

“A knife...”

I didn't know why I was surprised. I didn't know why I thought it would have been something a little bit more personal like the others. Immediately I felt like I was snapped back into the world of an assassin.

“It's a Kyoketshu-Shogei knife made from one of the bests blacksmiths in Japan. The blade material is 440 stainless steel with a gut hook. If you keep digging in the bag you'll find the black satin sheath and a chain.”

“A knife.”

“Don't worry you won't get in trouble for having it. They don't get mad unless you take one of their inventory. I was able to bring this here with me. I wasn't kidnapped...well not in the same way as everyone else was. I was able to bring a few items with me from my personal life.”

“Oh...ok...”

He got me...a knife.

“There's a chain too. 20 foot long chain. So when you throw it, stab somebody all up real good, you can bring it back. Adds that level of complexity. You know.”

I was out of it, “Oh. Yeah. Complexity.”

“What's wrong? Do you not like it?”

I smiled. This was Urge. What had I expected? This was his way of showing affection. This was his way of showing that he cared. I let go of the feeling of disappoint immediately. It was the thought that counts was what Craving had said earlier.

“I love it.”

He smiled, for real this time, “Good. To be honest it was hard to part with. It was the only physical thing in this world that I ever cared about. But I guess I'm giving it to the other only physical thing I ever cared about...you. Maybe you can keep each other safe. You see, it means a lot. It was the only thing my mother ever gave me before my father killed her.”

He had no emotion. Just fact.

“Oh my god.”

Bells.

I hadn't even had the time to think about what he had just said. The fact that Tom had killed his mother or the fact that he was giving ME the only thing his dead mother ever gave him. All of a sudden I was holding onto this blade a little harder than before. It had sentimental meaning. This wasn't just any knife. This was everything to him.

We were back in the room now. As we looked at the other side of the wall we noticed who was standing there. It was Lust. At first I thought we were going to get in trouble. The weed smoke was still in the air. The moderators were with Lust. Had someone reported us?

No.

Lust had that face. She had that face of sadness which I had come to know to well.

“No. Not now,” I started to say under my breath.

It was useless.

Lust had a gun in her hand, “It's time to make eliminations for the next rank...”

To read the next chapter please go to www.crushedcrown.com