Chapter 4
Urge's POV


If you guys care for me at all, you would leave me here. You would leave me in peace. I don't want to do this but I'll fight. I'll die if I have to.”

Desire wasn't afraid. I had seen him so many times. The soft fearful eyes were something that I had known back in the day. He had changed however. He wasn't afraid. He held the knife to Craving and he was willing to go all the way. Lust knew it and so did I.

Maybe that is why Lust nodded.

You are free to leave...”

The order had come directly from Lust. Allure's hand was on the rifle. She wasn't going to do anything crazy. This wasn't an assassination and I wouldn't let her assassinate Desire even if she wanted to. She didn't want to though. Desire knew the thing we all did. The team all cared about him. He was our weak spot. Desire backed off of Craving. He put his knives away.

He backed up and looked up before he left the room. I knew what he was looking for. He was looking for my eyes. He loved to stare at me. I wished I could have smiled or given him some sense of comfort when he looked up at my eyes...but I couldn't. It wasn't because I didn't want to but because his face was so beautiful. I was still in love with him and I was shocked by the fact that he still looked exactly the same.

Lust, are you serious?” Allure asked as soon as Desire had left the room, “You just let him leave? We had him. We had him!”

Lust leaned up against the front desk in the auditorium.

He would have killed Craving.”

He wouldn't have killed me,” Craving said shaking his head, “He's just scared. That's my best friend. He wouldn't have.”

Craving was an idiot if he thought that. I didn't say anything. I crossed my arms and kicked my feet up. Craving was too emotional. He was too sensible for my liking. I was always the cold one I guess. I didn't understand where all the emotions came from some times. As much as I loved Desire I would never put it past him. Desire would kill Craving if he tried to bring him back. Desire would kill us all. I watched as the idiots argued over the matter, but I knew better.

Allure wasn't giving up. She was one of those girls that didn't like to fail at a mission. She was an overachiever. The fact that Lust let him go just didn't make sense to her.

She started dismantling her rifle while gnawing at Lust's decision, “We could have knocked him out. We can dragged him back to the Assembly.”

I smirked. I didn't say anything. I was always quiet when they started their nonsense. If Allure thought it would be so simple then she really didn't know Desire. Desire had a will that was more powerful than any weapon we can throw at him.

It would have been a blood bath,” Lust stated.

Allure shook her head. She had no idea that Lust had just saved us from having to fight someone that we all really cared for dearly. I knew Allure had a soft spot for Desire. I knew a part of her wanted him to be free but now that he was found it was a little too late. Things could only be bad or they could be worse. What happened next was up to us.

Allure shook her head, “We need to attack again.”

He will be expecting it. He'll be ready. We've lost the element of surprise,” Lust stated shaking her head, “No...no that's not going to work. Would it be possible for all of us to overpower Desire. Yes. However, it will be messy. I'm trying to avoid that.”

It was rare to see Lust perplexed but she was now perplexed. Like the rest of us her emotions were getting to her. I knew she cared about us in her odd way. She acted sometimes like some sort of mother hen, guarding the nest.

Can't we just let him go?” Love asked.

I was surprised he said that actually. I would have expected that from Craving but not him. He was the only one in the room who didn't have a personal relationship with Genesis. Love was rolling his eyes. I always thought he was an interesting person and to be honest he had a sex appeal about him. Love however just seemed so much like a child to me always needing attention. Maybe that is why he said something so ignorant.

Lust shook her head, “If we don't bring him back. Tom will send the Cleaners.”

What are the cleaners?” Allure asked.

Allure hadn't had to deal with the Cleaners. Even with the saboteur trying to screw up all our missions, she still managed to always succeed in every mission she was sent on.

You don't want to know,” Lust stated.

She didn't. The Cleaners were the name for another assassination group lead by a man named Envy. I had only seen Envy a few times. His team was very mysterious. They were never in the assembly and they never socialized with anyone. They were in charge of going in and cleaning up after botched assassinations. There were whispers about them and people weren't too sure what they were, but we knew one thing. You didn't want the Cleaners to come into town.

Allure shook her head, “So what? We are at a stalemate? We don't want to fight him but we can't just leave him alone to his life in the suburbs.”

She had summed it up right. I had to admit it was amusing to see that Desire had gotten the whole team in a frenzy like this. He had definitely come a long way.

I was proud...

My little pup had become a wolf...

Lust seemed lost for words, “I honestly don't know what options we have.”

We can talk to him,” Craving stated, “Let him know that he's in danger if he doesn't come back. I can go do it.”

Craving had a point.

No,” I said however.

They all turned to me. It was weird for me to be talking to them. I hated the attention. I hated how they all looked at me as though realizing how rare it was for me to give my opinion in these sort of things. I never was good at speaking. The way they looked at me though was almost like I was ghost that just appeared in the room. I wondered if maybe at times they forgot that I even existed.

Lust turned to me. A part of her had to know that I was the best shot at getting Desire back.

Do you have something to offer, Urge?” she asked me.

I nodded.

I got up off of my seat, “I'll take care of this. Alone. I let him go. I'll bring him back.”



Days had passed. The others seemed to be counting on me to bring Desire back. I thought it would have been so easy. I thought it would have been a peace of cake. But it wasn't. This had to have been the hardest mission that I had ever gone on. I hadn't even shot my way through a government agency or hijacked a computer mainframe yet but I was more stressed out than ever.

The killing was easy. It was the emotions that got to me.

So you know that we have to make plans for the wedding right.”

I was spying on Desire. It was the end of the week. I had planted a bug on him and was listening to the conversation that he was having. He was having the conversation with this guy. The guy's name was Grayson. They were sitting on a bench right outside of the cooking school. I was standing about a block away underneath the school's guard post. With normal people I would have gotten closer but Desire was smart. He would see me if I had gotten too close. I kept my distance just watching.

We should just...elope,” Desire had told the boy.

No. I want a big wedding. The whole nine. I finally want to be able to take pictures with you...”

No pictures...”

The boy was looking at Desire with these eyes. He adored him. He was literally begging Desire. This Grayson guy wasn't ugly. As a matter of fact he was extremely attractive. I would have thought he had gotten reconstruction from the Assembly. He was that attractive.

I had wanted this for Desire. I had wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to go off and live a normal life. I guess a part of me just completely forgot that he would move on at some point in his life. He would find someone that he loved at some point in his life.

Ok, whatever you want,” the guy Grayson stated.

He looked like he was mixed with Asian. He had leaned over and at that moment he started to kiss Desire right there in public. Desire kissed back.

A shiver went up my spine. I couldn't watch. I found myself breathing heavy and putting down the binoculars that I had in my hand. Fuck.

Yes. This was worse than any mission I had ever been on in my life.

How's it going?” a voice said.

I looked up. The voice was coming from above me. It was Love. He was standing at the top of the guard post about 15 feet above me. Normally I would be wondering how the person got up there but I never wondered with Love. In the next moment he was swinging down the guard post like some ape in the jungle. When he finally got down there he stood close to me...closer than I would have liked and smiled.

I'm still doing reconnaissance...”

For what?” Love asked confused, “We don't know when Tom is going to send in the Cleaners remember? How long you just going to be spying on him?”

I shook my head. The others had all been wondering the same thing. They had started to lose confidence in the fact that I could get it done. The truth was that I was losing confidence in the fact that I could do this too. Desire was my biggest weakness. He was my Achille's heal. I didn't want to admit it though, not to Lust or Love or any of the others. I wanted to let them know that I had this taken care of.

I put on the same brave face that I always put on.

I'll talk to him tonight.”

He looks happy,” Love stated.

Love was saying what I was thinking. I knew that Desire looked happy. He had started a new life. He was living in a world where he wasn't forced to kill and he didn't have a tracker implanted in his body. He didn't have moderators giving him manila folders of random people that you had to kill. He was worried about cutting ducks and making this guy Grayson happy.

I crossed my arms. I couldn't think like that. I couldn't.

I made my face solid making sure I showed no emotion when I replied, “This isn't about happiness. Tom is going to send the Cleaners if we fail at this.”

Whose to say that Desire won't kill the Cleaners?”

I thought about it. Desire was competent. If I warned him about the Cleaners maybe he could stand a chance. But what happened then? I knew Tom. I knew my father. He was a sick man. He set his mind on something and nothing got in his way. Nothing scared him. Nothing at all.

We can't risk it. It's our mission.”

This isn't about the mission is it?” Love asked.

I turned back at him confused, “What are you even saying?”

This is about the fact that you are still in love with him and you miss him. This is about the fact that you want him back for yourself. Isn't it?”

God.

I hadn't even thought about that. The idea swam into my mind of having Desire back. The idea of holding him again and making love to him was a dream that was too sweet to dream. It was the only thing I wanted. I could protect him. What would this pretty boy model do for Desire when he was in danger? Nothing. Desire was the love of my life and I should have been there to protect him. It was simple as that.

I remained quiet.

I ignored Love and pretended like I didn't hear him.

It wasn't until he was behind me leaning up against my back that I paid attention to him. He rubbed my back and made his way to the front.

He rubbed the side of my cheek. Love was attractive. I had to admit. He knew ways to communicate with his body that I could never master. The way he touched my cheeks sent shivers through my body. He was smaller than me and slim. He had a sandy complexion and when he got in his ways he would break out into a sultry Hispanic accent.

The accent was happening now. His voice was cool and seductive, “We don't have to do this. We can just leave. We can give Desire a fighting chance. I can take your mind off of him. I can...I can be your Desire. Don't you see? I can be anything that you wanted.”

Love was trying to kiss me. His lips were so close to mine. It hadn't been the first time that Love had come after me. When we had sex in the middle east I had even thought about it if it was possible for me to be with him. For the smallest second I was considering it. Then I found out that Desire was located.

I backed up.

My voice was cold, “My mission is Desire.”

Love seemed upset. I knew he was upset when I walked away. I did feel bad but I wasn't going to show it. Love was sexy. He was sexy all day. He wasn't Desire though. The connection that I had with Desire was something that I never had to force. I never had to think about it like I thought about with Love. This was going to be the hardest mission that I ever had to do but it was up to me.



I had gotten dressed that night. Everyone seemed to think I was really attractive but I didn't see that sometimes. When I got dressed sometimes I just still saw the killer. I saw the killer in the mirror. I saw the killer that I was raised to be. Still today I attempted to look really good. It was the night that I was going to really try to have my time with him.

I drove to the house in the black Cadillac that Lust had rented. I had left the others behind. I would need to be alone for this. I rolled to the front of the house that belonged to Desire. It was a friendly looking house. Desire had really gone all out trying to be the normal “House husband”. The house had a white picket fence and everything. It was one of those neighborhoods that was so quiet that you didn't want to slam your door too loud.

When I walked up to the front of the house my hands were sweating. I checked to make sure I smelled good. I had bought the most expensive cologne. I had picked out a fly shirt that I bought when I traveled to Milan. I knew I looked good.

My heart was beating heavy.

My breathing had quickened.

Calm down- Urge...he's just a boy. He's just a fucking boy.

I knocked on the door. I knocked twice. Then all of a sudden I turned to leave. Who was I kidding? He wasn't just a boy. He was Desire. He was the boy who I had loved for years. He was the person that had stolen my heart and made me feel like something more than just some psycho's son.

Urge.”

I hadn't turned around back to the door but I could hear his voice. The deep, low tone that was Desire's. He was looking at my back now. I turned back. Our eyes connected. Fuck. It was everything that I imagined. His dark brown skin was like hershey. There wasn't a mark in sight. At times I thought his perfect skin tone had to be because of make up but he never wore anything like that. He just had completely flawless skin. He had the skin you wanted to just lick for hours. His eyes were dark. Being that my eyes were this blue I could really appreciate his dark eyes and heavy pupils. He had this perfect face with this look on his face that just screamed out attraction. Desire was the perfect code name for him.

It was almost those fireworks all over again like the first time I saw him. No one else in the world made my heart quicken like this. No one else in the world made me feel so vulnerable.

I smiled.

I took a step back towards the door. I could kiss him. I could kiss right here in front of this door. Every part of me just wanted to rip his clothes off and make love right on his perfectly mowed lawn behind the picket fence and next to the garden gnome.

We have company?” another voice said.

It was his boyfriend...no his fiance. The guy put his hand on Desire's arm. He didn't matter at first though. The look that Desire was giving me was all worth it.

I've missed you...every day; every fucking day,” I told Desire.

I meant it. I didn't care that his fiance was standing there. I didn't care who knew. I had to let him know that at least. I had to let him know. His eyes hadn't even blinked yet and neither had mine. I felt like if I blinked he would disappear and I couldn't have that.

Um...” his fiance interrupted.

His fiance must have noticed the stare. He must have noticed something because all of a sudden he seemed threatened. He should have. I loved Desire more than he could know.

Desire seemed to finally break the glare we had.

Grayson, this is...this is...” Desire started out and then just said something, “My brother...”

Brother?

His fiance seemed just as shocked as I did, but unlike me he showed it. He raised his eyebrows and gasped a little bit.

Your family? Wow. I had no idea,” he stated.

I'm Ur...Urin...”

The fiance seemed too excited. He offered me his hand, “I'm Grayson man. It's really nice to FINALLY meet someone related to Dez.”

Dez?

I looked at his hand. I didn't smile. It was hard for me to fake shit like this. I wasn't Love. I wasn't some actor or something. I hated this man. I wanted to break his fucking hand for ever touching Desire. I wanted to smash his face on the traditional hardwood doors until not even his mother could recognize him.

I shook his hand...not for him but for Desire.

I was in town and I just had to check up on my little brother,” I told Grayson but my eyes were back on Desire, “I just missed him so much.”

Well why don't you come in and have dinner with us?” Grayson stated, “Dez just made dinner. I'm sure you know how much of an excellent chef your brother is.”

Desire shook his head, “Grayson, my brother probably has a ton of other things to do.”

Actually I don't.”

Aight then! That settles it!” Grayson replied, “Come on in.”

I followed Grayson into the house. The house was too neat. It was too perfect. There was a china cabinet and everything seemed antique. It was amusing really. I knew Desire wanted the homestyle feeling but he had definitely gone overboard with it. You would have never thought he was who he was by looking at this house. Grayson lead us into the dinner room area.

The table was mahogany. I watched as Grayson pulled out Desire's chair for him like he was in some fucking Christmas special. He gave him a kiss then. I had to look away. I couldn't bear it.

Nice house you guys have,” I told them.

Thanks, we definitely appreciate it Urin,” Grayson stated, “Let me go get the turkey and give you guys some time to catch up.”

Desire watched as Grayson walked out of the room. I hated Grayson. I hated him because he was handsome. I hated him because Desire seemed to really like him. I crossed my arms. I couldn't take this. I looked at the dishes in front of me. The plating was perfectly set up. I could never give Desire this. I could never give him a house in the suburbs. I could teach him how to kill all day. I could never give him what Grayson could give him though and that is why I hated Grayson so fucking much.

He's handsome. Are you more attracted to him than me? Do you think he looks better than me?” I asked.

I knew that I was attractive to the eye. I knew that I could get any man I wanted if I really tried, but I didn't want to try. I had no reason to. The only person I wanted was sitting across the table from me and he was loved up with someone else. That shit was killing me.

Are you going to start some shit around him?” Desire asked.

Relax. I'm not going to put you on blast in front of your fiance. How could I? Brother. I wouldn't want to break your garden gnome.”

Then why are you here?”

You know why I'm here.”

Desire shook his head. I hated to see him upset but he was smart enough to realize the reason behind my visit. He knew that I was here to bring him back.

You helped me escape. You wanted this for me.”

He was right. He had a point. I knew he would bring up that point as well.

I still do, but you've didn't hide well enough. Your boyfriend enjoys taking pictures of you when you aren't looking and posting them publicly online. You had your chance Desire. I wanted this for you but my father knows. It's over.”

The hell it is.”

Please just come back home.”

am home.”

Just at that moment Grayson walked back in with a turkey. He put it on the table. I hated how close he sat to Desire. I hated the fact that he kept fucking touching him. It was almost like this dickhead was looking for reasons. Is this what Desire wanted? When we were together maybe I didn't pay him enough attention. I wasn't all touchy like this guy was. Every fucking second he was looking for another reason to touch Desire and the shit was making me sick. I gave him a death stare.

Would you like to cut the turkey Urin?” Grayson asked me.

I'll do it!” Desire quickly stated.

He took the chef's knife from Grayson and started to make slices into the turkey. I tried hard not to smirk. What? Was he scared I was going to go after Grayson with the knife or something?

He's amazing with the knife, isn't he?” Grayson stated.

Desire made quick work of the turkey cutting it into sections and then serving it up to us on plates in no time.

I nodded, “He is. Shit. Damn good. The best actually. I gave him his first knife...remember that Desi---I mean Dez? You remember that knife I gave you back in the day. I still have it. I saved it for you. I have to give it back one day.”

Wow. So are you a chef too Urin?” Grayson asked.

He was eating his food. The small talk wasn't really my thing.

Naw; more like a butcher,” I replied.

Desire choked on his turkey. Grayson rubbed him on his back. Desire was giving me the hardest stare imaginable. I was trying to behave but Grayson was literally just so ignorant of who we are. It was kind of annoying. It was annoying to see how he always tried to come to Desire's rescue. This bitch boy wasn't a hero. He was weak. He wasn't on our level. If he thought a piece of turkey could kill Desire than he had no idea just how powerful Desire was.

Are you ok baby?” Grayson asked Desire.

Desire nodded taking a long gulp of water, “I'm fine.”
Grayson turned me right after that and his eyes connected smiling again, “So what city do you work? Maybe Dez and I can come visit you sometime.”

You know what. I travel a lot for work.”

A traveling butcher. Interesting.”

I know right,” I said shrugging my shoulders, “Animals just have to be slaughtered everywhere nowadays.”

Grayson gave me a weird look. It had gone over his head. Desire seemed to be getting antsy though. I was making him uncomfortable. That wasn't what I wanted. I just hated this Grayson guy with a passion.

Well I'm glad you could make some time to come up and see Dez,” Grayson stated.

I nodded. My eyes were on him.

I'd do anything for him.”

Desire lifted his eyes. Our eyes touched. How could he ignore the chemistry that we had? I know he had moved on but I was here now. I was back. How could he ignore that for this clueless model idiot?

Grayson smiled at that moment, “So I take it you'll be coming to the wedding.”

Desire looked nervous. My eyes darted to see Grayson once again using the wedding talk to move his hand over and touch Desire. This motherfucker kept touching my Desire and I hated it. I hated him. I had a fork in my hand. I wanted to drive the shit right into his wrists and watch him bleed out. I knew that is what my brother Wrath would have done. Wrath was a sick individual. I had more calm though. I fought off the bit of crazy that was inside of me and just smiled.

Do you guys think you are ready for marriage?” I asked.

Grayson seemed confused at the question, “Of course.”

I'm just saying. Like do you really know my brother like you say you do. I mean you haven't even met the family.”

I wanted to. It's just---”
“Don't you think it's important to get a blessing from the family?” I asked.

I was digging into him but I was doing it on purpose. Desire shuffled in his seat uncomfortably. Grayson looked like he should have looked. I was staring directly at him. I was looking into his eyes. I wanted him to see my burning anger towards him. I wanted him to see the fact that I hated him touching Desire. I wanted him to see that I hated the idea of this stupid fucking marriage.

Maybe it's not a good idea for the family to come to the wedding,” Desire stated.

They will insist, brother. You know they will.”

Is there something that I'm missing here?” Grayson asked looking confused.

Yes.”

Desire quickly rebutted what I said with, “No.”

You see Dez ran away awhile ago.”

I didn't know that,” Grayson seemed worried, “He never mentioned that.”

Oh it's ok. And he probably had good reason too. I'll be honest Grayson, I didn't just happen to come into town. I lied. Sorry. My fault. Forgive me. I came into town to bring my brother home. My father really, really, really needs him back.”

Desire dropped his napkin.

I looked across the table. It was awkward. Luckily for me I was used to awkward. Grayson wasn't smiling anymore. He was confused. Grayson looked at Desire as though trying to understand what was going on. Desire wasn't returning his look though. Desire was looking at me. Desire's eyes were just full of this anger. I knew he was pissed at me but it was for his own good.

If I didn't get him out of here something worse was coming.

Suddenly the phone in the kitchen started ringing. We had been sitting in there awkwardly waiting for the next person to talk.

Excuse me,” Grayson stated getting off the table.

Grayson was in the kitchen talking and Desire seemed like he was beyond pissed.

It was awkward even more when Grayson left. Desire wasn't looking in my eyes anymore. He was looking down at the table. He was looking at the knives. I didn't want to fight him though. I didn't come here to threaten him or forcefully bring him a long. I knew that wouldn't work. I knew that Desire wouldn't be brought in without a fight and there was no way I was going to hurt him or allow anyone to hurt him for that matter.

I'm not leaving,” Desire stated.

Desire you don't understand. People are coming if we fail.”

I'll take care of them,” Desire replied bluntly, “If anyone tries to ruin my life here I will kill them. Do you understand that, Urge? Does that sink in?”

Even me?”

Urge...”

No I want you to say it. I want you to say that you will kill me. I want you to say that you love this fucking guy more than you love me. If you can say that I will walk out of this door and I will never come back. Just say that shit. I swear to God.”

He paused.

He couldn't say it.

I knew he couldn't say it. He put his head down. There was a time that Desire would cry at the drop of a hat. That time had passed though. Now he was fighting off tears. He was fighting them off with everything he had. He was trying to stay strong.

I don't know if I liked this side of him. I missed the vulnerable Desire. I missed the Desire that let me close to him. This Desire wanted me far away from him.

Grayson ran in the room. The look on his face was one that shocked the fuck out of me.

Oh my god!” Grayson stated, “My mother got shot...”

What?” Desire asked shaking his head.

My grandfather doesn't know. Some car just ran up on her. She was going out for dinner and they shot her! They don't think she's going to make it. She's being rushed to the hospital.”

Fuck. We need to go. I'll walk my brother out and we'll run over.”

My mouth was wide open. Who had ordered this? I was more than confused at this point. It had to be a hit. People just didn't get shot at in the suburbs. People didn't just shot at in this side of town. Grayson was definitely panicking. I could tell it was the first time he dealt with something like that. I watched how Desire comforted him. It made me sick to see them that close. It made me sick when Desire was trying to calm him down.

Desire cared about him...

Desire made sure he calmed Grayson down enough before he started to walk me out.

Did you have anything to do with this?” Desire asked me at the front door.

I swear to God I had no idea. I'll find out though.”

Desire looked at me. He gave me a hard look then he did something that I didn't expect. He leaned forward and he hugged me.

Desire hugged me and the world seemed to end. I didn't ever want to let him go. I wasn't sure what the hug meant. I wasn't sure but I didn't care. I just loved the feeling of having him in my arms. I wanted it to last forever and I never wanted it to end.

It lasted longer than it should have. It lasted longer than I imagined and when I let go it felt like I was letting go a piece of myself.



LUST!”

I was back at the house that we were using as our local base.

Can you lower your voice?” Craving stated, “Some of us have company...”

Craving was with some local boy. The boy had his pants down to his knees and they came out of the bathroom. It was no doubt that the boy was getting fucked or something in the bathroom. I wouldn't put it past Craving. The boy was young, cute and dumb and that was the kind of shit he liked. His ex boyfriend was just as useless. He seemed to go for the easy ones.

Where is Allure?” I stated, “No...Allure couldn't have done that. The woman would have been dead on the spot. Where's Love. LOVE!”

Love came from upstairs. It wasn't Love either. Who the fuck could have done the shooting? Who the fuck was targeting Grayson's family. And why? What the fuck did this have to do with the fucking mission? This wasn't an assassination mission.

Just at that moment Lust finally came out of the bedroom. She had a suitcase in her hands.

You must have heard...” she stated.

Heard what? Why do you have a suitcase?” I asked, “No...better yet, why are people going after the family of Desire's fiance?”

Lust shook her head, “It's time for us to leave.”

We can't just leave Desire. What are you talking about?”

If we don't leave now we'll be caught up in the cleaning.”

Fuck.

Craving pushed at his little date, “Time to go buddy.”

He literally pushed the boy out of the house at that moment. In the next few minutes Allure had joined us and we were all in the common area.

What's happening?” Allure asked, “We are leaving without Desire?”

I didn't even have a chance to explain that someone had shot at Grayson's mother. From the look of things this was just beginning.

All hell was about to break loose in this suburban town!

It's too late to save Desire. He doesn't stand a chance now. Desire will be taken by force or killed; every single person that Desire has ever known will murdered. It's already begun. They want to make sure he didn't say any secrets about the Assembly.”

Already! We didn't even have that much time!” Love asked.

Lust nodded, “Yes. I received a message from the moderators. Tom sent the Cleaners. They sent Envy...