Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2019 05:14:25 +0000 (UTC) From: Justin Balancier Subject: Big Boys Don't Cry "Big Boys Don 't Cry " Jbalancier9@yahoo.com Everybody wants to be relevant, so if I don 't talk about it, then it is not worth knowing about, even though this story is hardly movie time news, I was there. ********************** Autumn brings several glorious days to Vermont. About the second or third week of October, the fall color is specular, but things change quickly to gloom and a lot of rain. In Vermont, there just is not any in between. My first experience with being gay; was what happens to most young boys in their teens. It is typical, chicken hawk preying on young stuff; but understanding little about anything, I think of it as being unique. I was sixteen, and he was thirteen years older. Everything comes with problems, and a thirteen-year gap is a potential problem. Time has moved on and after all these years, with all the lovers and all the tricks, that have come and gone, I still remember everything. "Sigh " – It is not the game, it is the players that plague my very soul. ********************* Every boy remembers the very first time, a man 's hand touched their junk, as a record of accomplishment, and it is something that belongs strictly to memory. However, it is not the same as remembering where you were when the planes hit the towers. For me, it didn 't happen that way. I was lonely in the summer of my 16th year and the younger of two children. Being lonely is not unique to a school kid. It is what folks call "growing pains. " and seldom lasts that long. Even so, my loneliness came from my lack of friends. Being gay and stuck in a farm community in rural Vermont, only added fuel to an already hurtful existence. It wasn 't even a community; it was space – wilderness and space. We lived on a non-working farm five miles from the nearest neighbor. It was hardly downtown Bennington. Mom and dad were the ideal couple if one lived in hell. I always thought they were married by the devil because living in our house was pure hell 90% of the time. Dad was a drunk who hated his job, but loved to play poker, drink and big chested women. My brother Danny was good looking, but a poor student who drove around in his junky old Ford sedan, looking for girls and whacking off to naked women pictures. He had just graduated from High school and helped out at a country gas station pumping gas. It was not much of a job, but Danny wasn 't much of a worker, so I guess it balanced out okay. He spent time combing his hair and pushing his crotch out as if he was some gift to humanity. I was two years younger than Danny with a bigger dick, but I didn 't like girls. Then there was mom, who tried to hold the family together, however she had a terrible temper, so everything erupted into an argument followed by tension or a fight. I am Tommy, withdrawn, shy, and afraid of my own shadow. On top of being a genuine mess, I am gay. What could be worse than having a "whoo " gay boy, for one of your kids? Finally, the proverbial manure hit the fan for good. It became unbearable having nothing in common, so mama moved into town with Danny and me while dad stayed on the farm with condoms, booze and his poker-playing friends... We moved into a small apartment, with living room, kitchen and bath. It was not much of an apartment house, but since we didn 't have much money, it had to do. There were four such apartments in the house. Two apartments were downstairs and two apartments were on the second floor. We lived downstairs and had access to the garage. Danny had a car, and I kept my bike in the garage out of the weather and off the street. Danny and I shared the bedroom and had twin bed, Mom slept on the sleeper sofa in the living room. The place was small but peaceful and an absolute blessing, to be away from the war zone we used to call home. My Mom landed a sales lady position in a large department store. My dad sent a small support check for me until I was eighteen under Vermont law. I was sixteen, in my senior year, about to turn seventeen. I may have acted on the delicate side, but I was husky and all boy. My brother was already nineteen, and pretty much on his own. Being in town, he got a job at a genuine service station and behaved much better. Things were finally good; and I could walk to school, leaving behind the torturous ride, on the school bus, that I face everyday living in the country... On the bus, I would be bullied, called names and sometimes have my lunch stolen and thrown away. I never told my mother. I just went hungry. If she knew, with her temper, she would wipe the ground with these bullies and we would all land in jail. The only thing I did for entertainment was bike riding whenever the weather was nice. Television was a luxury, in our house. Turning the knob on the antenna motor trying to get the best picture on the second hand black and white set still lingers in my memory. It was not much, but I thought it was great. I was the only one allowed to touch the magic knob. 'Ooooh...YES! YES!!!" I was the communication manager, "can you imagine anything so ridiculous? " We got to watch Tonto grunt `kemosabe ' - Sky King Fly, and Bozo be a clown. Chips raced down the freeway in Los Angeles, and Lucky Strike meant fine tobacco. Oh, yes, "those were the days. " Just ask Archie Bunker. I didn 't make friends very well; many boys/girls, called me names like sissy or fairy. If that isn 't enough to make a big boy cry, I don 't know what is. I met someone at school, that I called a friend. His name was Nick and gay. We never did anything sexual together, not so you would know it. He would make everything into a big deal. I will admit, that quite often, Nicky had a good reason to growl. Once, the Gym coach called him by a girl 's name. We were bowling and Nicky bent over, with a feminine wiggle, before throwing the ball. "C 'mon Nancy, roll the ball before you rip your panty hose. " The coach yelled out allowing the boys on the team to laugh. After that, it was "Hello girls, " wherever we went. It was greatly weird, but nobody cried. We told ourselves it was just noise, along with certain words not fit to print. I was so relieved when it finally stopped. I walked a few blocks towards the business section, and Nicky caught up to me. We would go to Tony's Luncheonette quite often. Neither of us had much money, so we shared snacks. "Watch it Nick, that car almost hit the curb." I yelled out to him. Nicky stepped back to the sidewalk. "Whoo! - Where did he learn to drive? -He probably got his license at the carnival. " Nick blurted out. "I wouldn 't doubt it, " I replied. "You gotta watch everything coming at you I guess." The car spun around the corner and pulled into a parking place next to Tony's luncheonette. Nick remembered that he had band practice, so he ran off. I went into Tony 's, and sat alone at the end of the counter. "Hello neighbor, " a man I did not recognize said quietly, as he took the stool next to me. He looked rather old to me, probably around thirty. "You go to the High School on Perry Drive, don't you?" he asked trying to start a conversation. "Yep, I do. I am a senior and I graduate next June. I'll be seventeen in a couple of weeks." "You're a friendly kid for sixteen, " he said looking down between my legs. "Nah, I 'm really a shy jerk straight from the farm. " I said "Farm boys aren 't jerks, " he replied. "They are nice – real nice. " He emphasized and you qualify. "Thanks, but that is not rooted in truth, it 's labeling. " I told him as if, I really knew what I was talking about. "I suppose that is possible, still, you can 't fake delicious. My name is Jack. " "I 'm Tom " I replied "Yeah, I know it is. I am your neighbor. " He said to me "No you 're not. " "Yes, I live down the street, from the apartment building where you and your brother live. It 's the yellow house with white shingles and the big oak tree out front near the road. " "I know that house, I gotta go, " I said "Can I give you a lift neighbor? " he said "No, I don 't have far to go, and I have to make a stop first " "Okay " Jack made me nervous and I wanted to get away. He wasn 't creepy or anything like that. He was nice with a sexy body and I like him. I just didn 't know what to do, so I ran away as usual from things that frighten me. A green Buick pulled alongside of me as I was nearing the corner. I recognized the car as almost running into Nick about an hour ago. It was Jack 's green Buick with New Hampshire license plates. "C 'mon Tommy, get in, " Jack yelled as the car came to a stop. I started to say `no ', but like a magnet, I opened the car door and slid in next to Jack. It was like a Holy Grail approach to the hunt. "I can 't let my neighbor walk all the way home when I am going the same way. " Said Jack "Thanks " "What should we talk about? " Jack asked "I don 't care " "Wanna talk about girls? Jack asked "No " "How about boys? " "No " "Okay then, you talk and I will listen, " Jack said Sometimes I don 't I don 't feel like playing it smart; "let 's talk about you. " I said losing my shyness. Jack began telling me about things he didn 't care for, and things that he liked. "Your likes really interest me, when I have a dream. It is difficult to wait. " "What are you waiting for? " Jack asked "I don 't know, I 'm not even a bit player. " I confessed lowering my head. "Pay no attention to me. " "Let 's go for a ride, I 'll get you home in no time. " Jack said, touching my knee. His touch thrilled me beyond compression. It was a simple jester, for a farm kid, with big dreams, a big imagination and hefty junk between the legs. There had to be something there that somebody wanted. Charged with energy, I said "okay " Imagine my surprise when Jack drove past my house, then pulled into his own driveway. The car went into the garage and the electric door came sliding down. It was dark, so I got out of the car and so did Jack. Nobody was home, and we went inside. Jack was standing in the doorway, with his hands on his hips, his legs far apart and smiling. He wore a sweaty tee shirt and jeans. His hair was messed a bit and he looked hot to me. He was aroused and his dick swelled like a cucumber on the right side of his crotch. "C'mon on in buddy" - Jack said and closed the door behind me. Like a space capsule taking off from a rocket site - he held my face with both hands and kissed me. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and kissed and kissed. He went to the side of my face and licked my cheek and neck. It was so wild that I was trembling. Wow, I loved it, but I was nervous. I always thought I would be effective at being who I am; but this was a gift. Being with Jack, was like putting a ski mask on my balls and my junk twitched in my pants. "You're so nice - you're so nice," he kept saying repeatedly as he continued to kiss me. He took my hand, placed it on the bulge in his jeans then led me to the bedroom. The curtain was pulled back from the Great and Powerful OZ, only this time the wizard was not phony. Jack, the wizard, was real. We stood beside the bed and he ran his hands over my chest, under my shirt and down the front of my pants. I was getting hard and thought my dick would bust through the zipper. "Oh buddy, you are so nice," he said again. "Damn, but you 're a hot kid. You're getting excited Jack mumbled. "That 's a big dick you have there; is that for me? " He asked joking "I suppose so, " I answered. "I don 't have much experience, but I like my junk played with. "How about squirting off for me?" Jack said "How do you want me to do that?" - I asked. "This way - Jack answered - He pulled my cock out of my underwear and sucked it into his mouth." I was excited and it didn't take long for me to send sticky stuff up the tube and blast off. It hit Jack on the face and he opened his mouth pushing that stuff onto his tongue and swallowed. "That was good, he said. - "This is a treat." "Yuck, I didn 't know that people ate that stuff. I couldn 't see myself doing that; I always put it in a tissue and flushed it down the toilet. "Whoo that was wild" I said, pulling up my pants. Nothing more was mentioned and Jack acted as if it was all in a day 's work. Every degree of affection and touching stopped. I left a few minutes later and walked home. All I could think about was the kiss and the blowjob. I wasn't use to doing this sort of thing, but I liked it. I wondered if this was a joke designed to look real. Jack 's words came back to haunt me. You're so nice - This is a beautiful treat. " I wondered what all that meant, and how many boys heard the same line. " I wasn 't the most popular kid when it came to experience, however nothing mattered anyway. I knew Jack would come sniffing around my crotch again; working on me as prey for his ultimate goal. A goal to keep me naked and used by somebody I could really worship, starting now. Jbalancier9@yahoo.com Please remember Nifty – Comments appreciated /