Date: Wed, 27 Mar 2019 11:16:01 +0000
From: tom <amias09@fastmail.fm>
Subject: Bog Off - Chapter 13

Bog off!

Authors note: All the usual caveats and dire warnings apply so you read
this at your peril. Naturally, no representation of any person, animal,
vegetable or mineral is intended, yet should you recognise yourself at some
point in the story in conjunction with any of the aforementioned just think
yourself very, very lucky to be included!

As ever all comments, ideas, suggestions, good bad or indifferent always
welcome and my apologies in advance for any typo's you may spot.

Tom
email: amias09@fastmail.fm


>>>>> Health Warning: I feel obliged to point out that under no
circumstances can this story be described as subtle, it is written very
much tongue in cheek and relies on humour, if not decidedly black humour
for it to deliver - so beware, some situations and characters will
undoubtedly appear quite gross!

Ergo, should you desire something of a far more erudite and sophisticated
nature, I can but recommend my highly acclaimed "Brief Encounters" and "The
Lab Technician" series.
___________________________________________________________________

Chapter 13 – The lubricant of choice


Having attended to matters in the only way that any frisky,
self-respecting, barely fifteen year old boy could during a prolonged
Saturday morning lie-in, Dave was now up in both senses of the word and
relatively mobile. In fact he had been sent by his mother on an errand to
the infamous Packers corner shop to get some milk and on leaving the shop
had literally bumped into Luke who it transpired had also been despatched
on a similar mission for a loaf of bread.

"Oh, so yer was sent shopping as well then!" Luke looked at the carton of
milk he was clutching. "I gotta get this bleeding loaf."

"It's all bollocks innit, why's I's gotta do the bleeding shopping I's
thought that's wot mothers was for, like doing housework and that stuff!"
was Dave working up to gain his junior male chauvinist badge at the scouts
or was it simply that he was not in a good mood for being made to wear some
new clothes?

"Fuck knows, it's only for a bleeding loaf innit?" replied Luke starting to
look Dave up and down. "Hey, yer looks a bit smart, wot's they, is they new
jeans yer got on?"

"Yeah." replied Dave without showing too much, if any enthusiasm. "Our mum
went to that shitty Guptha's place didn't she, I's knows she goes there
`cause it's cheap, but bleeding look at 'em, one leg's about two bloody
foot longer than the other!"

"Still they pockets seems to work though don't they?" Luke grinned and
pointed to Dave's hands which were quite obviously very active inside the
pockets.

"Bog off!"

Dave flushed, decidedly shy when it came to matters of the flesh yet
guessing Luke was in a similar situation he tried to be very brave and
hoped to further the conversation by letting him into a secret, he lowered
his voice. "Don't yer fucking laugh, but she bought us some new pants and
they's too tight under me balls!"

Luke's heart skipped a beat, having been sexually liberated only days
before when with Kelvin and Bogbrush, he had thought of little else except
dreams of communal masturbation since. Consequently he was already
wondering if he could persuade the shy Dave to join him in some sort of
sexual act however bland to put his newly acquired skills to the test.

"Oh, so is they white or coloured?" he asked casually adjusting his
glasses, it seemed to be an appropriate subject with which to prolong the
conversation and so keep it on a sexual track.

"They's a sorta bleeding horrible bluey, greeny colour." Dave pulled
face. "Why can't us choose me own clothes."

"Cor, they sounds different, I's like to see they." Luke, hoping that by
starting to very obviously feel his own growing erection through his
pocket, it might bolster the rather blatant invitation.

"Yer really wants to see 'em?"

It had been accepted, Dave looked flushed having noticed the activity and
was already halfway to agreeing, for this could be his chance to actually
do something, in fact do anything with another boy. Luke was certainly a
gentle enough soul to engage with and also someone who Dave guessed, rather
like himself was not particularly well endowed or would laugh at
him. Besides the possibility of the meeting with Bogbrush the previous
afternoon had been postponed till the following week and this could well be
a less frenetic introduction.

"Yeah, see I's only gets them bleeding boring white ones that our mum
buys."

"Wot, do she gets 'em at that shitty Guptha's place do she?" Dave flushed
as he concluded. "See these is so fucking bad I can't even get me willy out
fly hole!"

"Oh, I'd like to see that!" Luke giggled. "Cor, funny that yer can't get
yer willy out!"

"Ah.." Dave continued looking very flushed and focused on Luke's pockets.

"Anyhow, I thinks mine is Marks and Sparks.. have to see the label I `spose
and... or yer could read it... if, if yer wanted too.." he paused looking
equally flushed, then having just thought of an offer that Dave probably
would not want to refuse continued, "so I's, I's `spose Dave, well, if, if
us was to find somewhere maybe us could have a butchers at each others,
wot's think?"

He nodded vigorously. "That be a larf wunnit...but, wot just our pants
like?"

"Yeah.. uumm.. so where could us do it?" asked Luke nervously, desperately
racking his brains and not wanting to loose the opportunity. "Course, just
our pants then.."

"Uumm.. yeah.. did yer means today?" Dave's mouth was going dry, this was a
situation he had often dreamed of and like Luke did not want to pass up on
the opportunity, "don't think our place is any good, `cause me brothers
about."

"Yeah today.. uumm.. wot about, well after dinner time, well `spose yer
comes round to our place?" Luke had already worked out that would give him
time for one more orgasm when he got home and he could be recharged and
ready to another by early afternoon. "See, our dads working till four and
I's pretty sure our mums gonna go and see our gran in the afternoon so,
so.. we'd uumm.. be.. be alone.."

"Well I knows where yer lives, so... uumm.. `spose I calls, wot about
half-past two?"

Luke's very hard cock twitched affirmatively. "I `spose us could do it
couldn't us?"

"D'yer.. uumm.. well I means, Luke uumm...I's wondered.." Dave was very
unsure of how to phrase the next question, "I means... well d'yer really
like looking at boys pants and that then? Have yer done it sorta before
with anybody?"

Now it was Luke's turn to blush and blush he did, Dave had inadvertently
discovered his fetish. The truth was Luke was obsessed by underwear and
through detailed observation had gleaned enough information to know what
each boy in the class wore. Not only that, he was the one who chose to wear
traditional white briefs even thought his mother had bought him coloured
items which remained unworn.

"Dave, yer won't say nothing will yer?" Luke looked quite worried.

"Nah, `cause see uumm.. now and again I's looked as well," mumbled Dave,
"I'd better get back, so I's see yer later then?"

"Yeah." turning away Luke felt his cock through his pocket, it was wet at
the end!





"They's gone then? `cause I see's the car's gone?"

"Yeah, only just, anyhow let's get in me shed quick before bloody Jase
comes back," Kelvin slammed the front door behind Bogbrush and pushed him
though the hall and kitchen towards the rear door, "I thinks we got about
an hour at most."

"Talking about Jase, so wot d'say after I went yesterday and he'd found out
it were me he was up?"

"Well, bit bleeding surprised, `cause he ain't realised it weren't me had
he?" Kelvin laughed as he bolted the shed door behind them. "But, then said
he'd do it again."

"He would? He weren't angry like then?" said Bogbrush fiddling excitedly
with the button on his jeans. "So's we could all do again then?"

"Well that's wot he said and I don't think he were pissed off or that and
uumm.. well I's means, the little sods now been up two holes and I ain't
even been up one!"

"Well it's `cause yer too willy's too fucking big ain't it?"

"Yeah, I `spose," said Kelvin, "and, I'll tell yer wot else he said, cheeky
little git.."

"Wot's think?" interrupted Bogbrush pushing his jeans down to the floor to
expose his erection escaping from the side of some tired pale blue
briefs. "Sorry, wot else d'say then?"

"I loves yer cock!" said Kelvin looking down. "Wot else? Oh yeah, he says
that yer bum was probably cleaner than mine anyway!"

"D'yer think he was right?" flattered Bogbrush laughed.

"Dunno.." still staring at the blue briefs Kelvin blushed. "Might be, but
he shouldn't bleeding say it!"

"But is it clean? Now?" asked Bogbrush having suddenly realised what the
logistical aspect of the act of buggery actually entailed. "I don't wanna
get no shit up the end of me willy, so when's d'yer last have a bath?"

"Uumm.. oh uumm.." Kelvin stalled knowing full well that Sunday was bath
night whether he wanted one or not, today was Saturday.

Unfortunately, lately he had developed a craving for baked beans eaten cold
from the tin in his shed, so between that and overdosing on greasy fried
onion rings a' la Doreen, certain intestinal pressures had led to near
emergencies of the anal kind. Yet even he had to admit if it weren't his
own bottom, he certainly wouldn't want to even contemplate going anywhere
near it without a pair of Marigold rubber gloves!

"Yer's a dirty fucker ain't you," Bogbrush grinned, lateral thinking had
just prevailed, "alright don't bleeding say nothing then and I'll pretend
it's clean `cause I wants it up yer! Don't `spose yer dirty bum ain't
really gonna make no difference is it?"

"Not really I `spose." he blushed. "Sorry, I's should have thought about it
like."

"Yeah, well, It'll wash off won't it!" joked Bogbrush.

Still blushing Kelvin blinked, this was indeed the sign of a true
friendship, yet even so Bogbrush really ought to be wearing said yellow
Marigold gloves. "Look Bogs if it helps, I's found some gert special soapy
stuff that we could use then that'll sorta lube me hole and clean it out
while yer does yer thing won't it?"

"Yeah, good idea. So's I gotta push a gert lump of soap up it or wot then?"
all lateral thinking having been abandoned he grinned, the situation was so
typically Kelvin.

"Nah, it's a sorta jelly stuff, see our dad uses it when he's got dirty
hands and that," Kelvin looked up to the shelf, "I's wanked with it so I
knows it's fucking gert slippy stuff like so, so that luvly willy of yer's
will fucking slip up us a treat!"

"Sorta like washing up liquid stuff then is it, sounds alright, yer got it
there?"

"Yeah, it's just the fucking job... hey Bogs, d'yer like me pants?" jeans
around his ankles Kelvin stood there in a pair of very tired and slightly
too small white briefs that had obviously very recently received a large
infusion of semen. "Thought I'd try these, I found 'em in the drawer I
thinks they looks a bit like Luke's don't 'em?"

"Kelv, you is stupid sod, poor fucking Luke couldn't make that much cum in
a bloody month!" Bogbrush grinned. "When d'yer do that then?"

"When I's finishing me dinner under the table, I were thinking about yer
doing it and I couldn't help it, don't think nobody noticed," he grinned,
"see `cause our mum was having a good go at our Jase 'cause he'd just upset
a cup of bloody tea or something and she were right pissed off, so I does
it gert quick under the table while they's arguing... I pretended it were
yer hand in me pocket and all!"

"Yer cum thinking of me like, oh shit!"

For Bogbrush it was something of a turning point for he rightly sensed they
were moving into deeper waters from friends to lovers, somehow he managed
to refrain from reaching out and kissing him.

"Now don't get all bloody sloppy now!" Kelvin blushed, every bit as
embarrassed and unable to express his feelings.

 "Hey, hey is that a hole in the back bit of they white pants?" Bogbrush
suddenly pointed, hoping to move away from the tricky subject of emotional
involvement so allowing his heart rate to reduce down even if his cock was
right up.

"Oh.. fuck, yer noticed," Kelvin flushed, smiled and flushed, not for the
first time had he been anally invaded when wearing the briefs, even if only
by a lonely carrot, "it might be."

"So instead of yer poking yer carrot through it, can I fuck yer though it
and wank yer off in 'em so they's filled with cum?" the inspired guess of
anal implement was quite correct and quite a common substitute for a finger
or two.

Kelvin's voice was beginning to crack, he turned away and reached up to the
shelf aiming to grab what was currently his lubricant of choice, a tub of
Swarfega! "Bogs yer don't have to fucking ask, just fucking do it... here
I's got that gert slippy, soapy stuff our dad uses, just get some up me
hole before I's cums!"

"Cor, it is gert slippy stuff innit?" said Bogbrush rubbing his fingers
together. "Wot's it called, Swarfega? I never fucking heard of it, feels
good though don't and it's gotta nice sorta smell, sorta medical like... I
wonders if they uses it in fucking hospitals?"

By the time the fingers were lubricated Kelvin was in the time honoured
position, leaning against the shed wall and supporting himself on his arms,
he looked behind and smiled. "Don't fucking hurt me will yer, start with a
finger and work up like."

"Just fucking shut up, course I won't hurt yer and, and.." Bogbrush leant
forward and kissed him on his neck, "and.. and.. well just bleeding shut
up!"

"I's told yer not to get all fucking sloppy." said Kelvin who was doing a
very fine imitation of getting very sloppy himself as his hoarse voice
immediately confirmed.

"Wot's going on Kelv, I don't understand?" croaked Bogbrush from behind,
blinking rapidly and unable to rub his eyes since his hands were liberally
coated in Swarfega.

"I dunno... we's felt this before ain't us... oh fuck, just get started
will yer!"

All of three minutes and impaled on two fingers later Kelvin was hopping
excitedly around on tiptoe and that wasn't to say Bogbrush wasn't exactly
excited either! His left hand was pushed down the back of the Kelvin's
briefs, between his buttocks where the fingers working independently had
burrowed their way deep inside, well lubricated with excessive dollops of
Swarfega or as they termed it, the gert soapy stuff. Everything both inside
and out of the white briefs was now smothered in it, Bogbrush's right hand
massaged yet more slippery handfuls all around Kelvin's pubic region and up
the entire length of his quivering shaft leaving the tub virtually empty.

The fact was that Kelvin was so aroused and over excited that he was
becoming a gibbering wreck, Bogbrush's roving hands continued coating all
below his waist in a mixture of precum and Swarfega. However, on the plus
side the normally repulsive cheesy area around his cockhead had been so
rigorously cleansed that all aging deposits had been banished as a
testament to the true power of Swarfega.

Bogbrush though was feeling the strain both physically and emotionally, it
felt almost as though he were going suddenly burst into tears. His thoughts
were to conclude matters in the only way he could which was to smother
Kelvin's neck with kisses, withdraw his three fingers and immediately
replace them his aching cock. The seat of the briefs was torn in the
process, yet the entry was carried out so swiftly due in part to the
abundance of lubricant that Kevin didn't immediately realise it, although
what he did realise was that Bogbrush had brought him to an immense climax.

Understandably Bogbrush's own orgasm followed very soon after which
entailed hammering himself as deep as possible inside Kelvin whilst
ejaculating for what seemed several minutes whilst continuing to furiously
rub Kelvin's throbbing organ until he too climaxed for a second time. The
strain of it all was too much, Kelvin's arms began to fold under the strain
and unable to take his weight any longer he sank exhausted, slowly to the
slippery floor. Fascinated, Bogbrush watched to see his slimy cock twitch
when it finally popped out of the gaping hole that was Kelvin's sphincter
and now plainly visible through the seat of ripped briefs.

Only semi-conscious, yet still on a sexual autopilot, Kelvin was lying on
his side moaning with one hand inside his sodden briefs trying yet to
induce another a climax, only this time his abused cock was refusing to
rise fully to the occasion. To Bogbrush it appeared as an invitation not be
refused and he dropped to his knees by his side, reinserted his fingers
inside the gloriously slimy mess and kissing him on his neck began where he
had left off!




All of some two hundred yards away to the west, albeit with a slight bend
to the right as a knackered old crow might fly, further sexual activity of
a far more timid and genteel kind was under way in another house on the
estate.

Surprised on his entry, Dave looked around for it was quite the tidiest
house on the estate he had been in, it appeared Luke's mother kept a tight
hold on things. Indeed she did and she didn't approve of Luke bad grammar
or swearing, whereas in fact he only did for effect, for being a little
brighter than his peers and with the smarter clothes he felt it made him
more acceptable.

"Our mum thought since yer was coming she'd leave a couple of little
fucking cake things." said Luke leading the way through to the sparkling
kitchen.

"She do that with all yer mates who comes round then?" asked Dave unaware
that it was a rarity for anyone to come round to see the only child,
bespectacled Luke.

"Yeah." he grunted fielding the truth and fiddling with his glasses. "Don't
yer mum?"

"Well.. sorta, but our house can be a bit of tip wot with me messy brother
and that."

"Oh look at they, cor she left 'em all on plate like," said Luke as he
produced a plate with four fairy cakes beautifully arranged, "well help
yerself."

The two cakes were a mere drop in the bucket in relation to Dave's stomach
and immediately disappeared, he looked hopefully at the remaining one.

"Well fucking go on then," Luke giggled, "one's enough for I, yer go on and
eat it!"

"Luke.. d'yer think, well d'yer thinks I's a bit fat?" said Dave quietly,
standing now so close to the trim Luke that something had touched a nerve.

"Uumm.. well.." Luke smiled, having been well brought up he wondered how to
put it tactfully, when the answer was plainly obvious, perhaps a jokey
answer might suffice, "I's have to see yer without yer clothes on to answer
that!"

"Alright, if yer promises not to larf..." he flushed, he blushed, he looked
at the floor, "yer could help undress me if yer wants!

"Oh... uumm.. oh shit! Well alright if yer wants... I, I promises, I won't
laugh." Luke was quite taken aback for it seemed Dave really was as
desperate as he was for some boy on boy intimacy, the offer was not to be
refused.

"Yer can see me pants then as well! I's still wearing the same ones just
for yer." said Dave awkwardly, then paused before adding with a voice that
sounded as though it were now about to crack. "Oh fuck.. Luke.. I don't
knows wot I's doing... I ain't never done nothing with nobody before.. oh
shit, don't laugh will yer, promise?"

"Nah, I won't honest.. uumm... see I's ain't done nothing with nobody other
than one quick wank.. I.. I's.. I's just wanks by meself all the time!"

Luke dried up, the last twenty-four hours had marked quite a change in his
life and he knew only too well how it felt to be so shy where it was far
easier to refuse a proposition than to accept. For the likes of Kelvin and
Bogbrush who were only too happy to display their wares it was almost a
daily event, yet for those more of a more conservative nature it really did
require an enormous amount of courage where even just the thought of
getting changed for games could be very traumatic.

"Oh!" Dave was surprised, but delighted for he had been under quite the
opposite impression, as portrayed and fostered by Luke. "But I always
thought yer did a bit?"

"Nah," Luke looked at the table, he blinked behind his glasses, "that's wot
I wants others to think innit `cause, 'cause nobody ain't really asked me."

"Oh.. fuck.." Dave suddenly did a very surprising thing, albeit very
tentatively he put his hand on Luke's arm. "Well, I don't know wot we's
gonna do, but lets go up to yer room.. yer can and... well, yer can look at
me willy first if yer wants, I knows it ain't very big, but, but I's don't
minds cause now I see's yer shy like wot I's is!"

"Oh fuck!"

Luke was really touched by the offer especially coming from Dave who from
his girth would be hard pressed to find anybody else to experiment with,
unless he were to turn into some form of rabid sexual exhibitionist
overnight.

"Yer looks a bit.. uumm... oh bugger, wot's I said now?"

"Nothing, yer too fucking nice!" blinking Luke looked up. "Sorry.. it's
just me, don't worry, come on upstairs quick."

Having thundered upstairs and been ushered into in the bedroom Dave looked
all around to see that it was as clean and tidy as the rest of the
house. There were no piles of dirty washing, the bed was made and
remarkably there were actually some books on a shelf, even if they were
Enid Blyton's The Famous Five series.

"Cor Luke, is it always like this?" asked Dave. "`cause our house ain't
very tidy."

"I `spose." Luke was staring at Dave's Guptha's International badly fitting
jeans trying to work out if he was erect or not. "Tell us, have yer done it
today?"

"Wot?"

"Have yer had a wank today?" Luke flushed as he asked the question, then
taking a deep breath he unzipped his St Michael jeans. "Dave, look I knows
we's both a bit embarrassed, but lets get on with it before somebody comes
back."

Slowly, Dave nodded. "When I wakes up, I always does... d'yer do it as
well?"

"Yeah and.. and I did when got back after meeting yer earlier.. I were so
excited!" Luke didn't know what to do, at first he grinned then went rather
red and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"Oh fuck... is yer hard now, `cause I is?"

"Course." nervously Luke pushed his jeans to the floor to expose his
tenting white briefs. "And, I cum in me pants then, thinking of yer wanking
in yer's."

"Will yer, will yer take me jeans down?" Dave's voice was rather faint.

Luke immediately waddled over and stood facing Dave, with trembling hand he
reached out for the button on the straining waistband. The button soon
popped and with the zip pushed quickly down revealed the Guptha
International turquoise briefs with contrasting sperm coloured edging.

"Horrible colour ain't they?" said Dave not really sure what to say next.

"Yeah, I'll stick with white!" Luke smiled and decided to take control even
if it meant behaving like shy eleven year olds. "Listen, I wants to feel
yer willy, so yer gonna feel mine and then we's gonna pull our pants down
and have a look at each others."

"We is?" Dave gulped.

"Yeah, ready... go!"

For all his reticence Dave soon had hold the front of Luke's briefs and was
happily groping around trying to ascertain if his cock were actually
smaller and amazingly enough it appeared to be of a similar size.

"Right, pull `em down and let's have a look." Luke excitedly made a grab at
the waistband of Dave's briefs.

"Yer won't laugh?" Dave's question was too late for his erection was
already on display nestling in the generous folds of his stomach.

Inches away Luke pushed his glasses back up his nose as he studied Dave's
offering. "Looks like we's got the same size."

"We have? We is?" stuttered Dave, who was so shy that he hadn't dare look
to see what Luke had, instead he had mentally geared himself up to be in
possession of the smallest organ.

"Yeah," smiling Luke looked up, "I ain't laughing at yer, have a look
yerself."

"Oh," Dave nervously looked down, whilst neither broached the five inch
mark he was delighted, his years of penile paranoia had just been
dispelled, "oh fuck!"

"So shall us wank each other or do our own?" Luke's hand trembled as it
reached out. "`cause we'd better get on with it before somebody comes
home."

"Uumm.." Dave's middle name was indecision. "Do our own... maybe this
time?"

"Be easier wunnit, but when yer's about to cum pull yer pants up, `cause
yer'll enjoy walking about with 'em all sticky!" Luke grinned. "Let's get
started."




Meanwhile all of some two hundred yards away to the east, albeit with a
slight bend to the left as another knackered old crow might fly, things
were neither looking nor feeling too good for Kelvin and Bogbrush who were
in a very, very sticky situation.

The banging on the shed door finally roused the incumbents, the aurae of
buggery now a distant memory along with their collapse onto the shed floor.

"Is yer in there wanking again Kelv?"

"Fucking hell! It's fucking Jase innit!" cried Bogbrush shaking himself
awake.

"Fucking wot?" grunted Kelvin, who it has to be said was in a far worse
state and feeling sexually debilitated like never before.

"I can hear yer in there, yer two's been wanking again ain't yer?"

"For fucks sake Jase, bleeding shut up!" cried Bogbrush scrabbling to get
to his feet and heading for the door. "Don't tell whole bleeding estate!"

Kelvin was only now opening his eyes, he looked around. "Oh no... oh fuck!"

"Jase, I's opening the fucking door so just shut up before yer tells the
whole bleeding neighbourhood!"

Jason stood there grinning, this time he really had caught them at it. A
fact very easily confirmed by the trouserless Bogbrush and Kelvin still on
the floor in his torn underpants with everything around splattered with
spunk and Swarfega.

"Have yer been fucking him?" he asked excitedly, his hand was already down
the front of his jeans.

Bogbrush didn't know what to do. "If yer ever tells anybody wot yer seen,
us'll fucking murder yer!"

"Yer's been up our Kelv then has yer?" Jason's hand quickened.

Before he could reply there came a large groan from Kelvin who by some
miracle had managed to crawl to the vertical and was leaning against the
wall. Looking very much the worse for wear, his normally proud erection a
mere wrinkled painful shadow of it's former glory, the torn briefs sagging
under the weight of Swarfega now tinted a strange green colour.

Even Bogbrush looked alarmed when he saw him. "Fuck! Yer looks fucking
awful!"

"I feels fucking awful," agreed Kelvin, "I thinks there's something wrong
with me..."

"With yer wot?" asked Bogbrush unsure whether to be sympathetic or laugh.

Kelvin's reply came by way of extreme anal flatulence. "Me bum!"

"Yer bumhole?" enquired Jason with superb timing before collapsing in
laughter.

"Fuck! Did that hurt yer bum?" asked Bogbrush, now unable not to laugh?

The truth was far simpler, the pot of Swarfega ingested anally was in fact
a very stringent enema and having had a few minutes to work was now
working, fast. Extremely fast in fact.

"Oh shit!"

They watched in amazement as Kelvin face contorted through the full
spectrum from deathly white, to sweaty pink and finally to a look of
absolute horror. Grabbing at his pimply buttocks to the strains of further
uncontrollable postern blasts he looked wildly around in
horror. "Fuck... oh fuck... I'm gonna shit meself I needs the bog!"

"Bleeding hell!" said Jason. D'yer think it's they fucking beans he's
always eating?"

"Dunno."

Bogbrush glanced at Jason who still appeared to be rubbing himself, for a
moment they both stared in amazement, they both burst out laughing as the
hapless Kelvin suddenly rushed out of the shed towards the house without
his jeans, the briefs falling down and being left on the path behind him as
he ran.

"Oh shit! D'yer think he'll make it to the bog?" asked Jason.

"Dunno, I hopes so or he'll make a bleeding gert mess on the stairs!"
Bogbrush laughed.

"Ooh shit!" Jason giggled.

"Anyway's, so wot happened to yer football?"

"Ah, the bleeding ball were half flat and Billie weren't there, so I
thought sod it like!"

"Oh," there was glint in Bogbrush's eye, "yer cock ain't flat though is
it?"

For a moment Jason flushed, then he grinned and looked beneath Bogbrush's
shirt. "Nah, and yer's ain't neither is it?"

"Nah, he'll be in the bog for a bit won't he, so why don't yer toss me off
quick like?"

"Yer won't tell him will yer?"

"Nah."

================================================================

Chapter 14 to follow