Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 16:36:55 -0800 (PST)
From: gaymormonwriter@yahoo.com
Subject: Born To Be A Missionary Chapter 3

Born To Be A Missionary 
Chapter 3

(Author's note: I want to apologize for "errors" in my writings of the
first two chapters. My mind runs faster than my fingers on the keyboard and
sometimes I miss "words". Even though I proof my writing, I still missed a
couple of "word errors" and caught them after the chapters were posted. I
want to make it clear that in Chapter One, the Gay Teen Youth Center does
NOT provide "safe sex". It does provide "safe sex advice". I have received
some really nice emails from readers. I love hearing from readers, so
please email me. Thanks.)

>From Rick's perspective:

I got home about an hour before Jim walked through the door. I love Jim
with all my heart. He has been a wonderful friend and lover. I thank
Heavenly Father everyday for Jim. Jim gives so much of his love to helping
people. I am so proud of him.

Jim walked into the kitchen where I am preparing dinner. I haven't put the
steaks on the grill yet, as I have plans before that. I tought I would love
to tease Jim by wearing only an apron when he got home. I heard him stop at
the door way and I turned around to see his reaction to my state of
dress. I wish I had a camera, it was priceless as his eyes went wide and
then the lust became very evident as he approached me.

"Hi honey," I said as he came near me.

"Hi you beautiful man," he said as his mouth closed over mine in a wet and
seductive kiss.

Jim's hands were all over me, rubbing my back and squeezing my ass
cheeks. He untied the apron and it fell to the floor and I was totally
naked before my lover. He is so turned on and I loved it.

"How was your day, Jimmy", I only call him "Jimmy" when I am in a playful
mood and he loves it. His response to my question was to bury his mouth on
my neck and made the sound, "Hmmmmmmm". My cock was hard as soon I has as I
heard his key in the lock. It was pressed against Jim and I could feel his
hardness thourgh his clothes. Jim's mouth left my neck as it moved to my
nipples. His hands were still squeezing my ass checks with a firmness that
only Jim has when he is in his "tiger" mode for sex.  When Jim is like
this, there usually isn't a lot of foreplay. Even though Jim and I usually
have a passionate and romantic style of lovemaking, we both enjoy it when
one or the other gets into the "tiger" mode and the other goes for a wild
ride. My body is naturally smooth, though in my mid-twenties, a beautiful
"treasure trail" appeared that Jim just loves as he is was now flicking his
tongue through the hair as he moves down to my pubic hair. He burys his
nose into the hair and inhales, as my cock comes to rest under his jaw. I
know what is coming, his wonderful mouth on my cock. I am so excited that
my foreskin as slid off the head of my cock, Jim starts swabbing his tongue
over the sensitive head. His tongue works in a fury, touching every surface
of my cock, he rubs his tongue around the edge of my foreskin and this just
drives over the edge sometimes. Then he takes me completely in my mouth,
not only sucking but savoring his moments on my cock.

"Is that the steak you wanted for dinner tonight, dear, " I ask in a
devilish tone.

Jim's response was to gently graze my cock with his teeth. Suddenly Jim
stood up, grabbed his belt and says, "I want you NOW, inside."

Who I am to argue, I grab some butter off the counter, Jim's pants and
underwear are down at his ankles, he is bent over the kitchen table as I
apply butter to my cock. "NOW." he pleads as I step up and aim by cock
between his wonderful ass cheeks. My cock slips, all buttery, into his
sweet ass. "DO IT HARD" he demands and I comply. Jim was being very vocal
about my thrusts into his nice tight ass. He was clamping down hard on my
cock that told me he wanted me to cum quickly. I did. As soon as I slid out
of him, he turns and says, "I WANT YOU NOW," with such urgency that he
reaches for the butter and pushes me towards the table.  Jim lathers his
cock and than shoves into me. I love it. Jim hasn't been this randy in
quite awhile. His thrusts are delibirate and forceful. Jim's cock was
beating my prostate intensely. My cock is so hard, I feel each bounce off
my prostate and it sends the vibes faster towards my orgasm. I clamp down
on Jim's cock, knowing his great sexual need at the moment, I know he will
be cumming very quickly. I was lost in his frenzy as my cock erupts all
over the kitchen floor, with my climax it sent Jim over into his orgasmic
conclusion as I felt shot after shot of cum filling me up. After his orgasm
dies down, he stopped his thrusts and just held me in a sexual embrace. His
face pressed against my back. His arms wrapped around me. His hands spread
out on my chest.

"I love you," he whispers to me. "I love you".

Oh how I love this man. "I love you, too, Jim."

Jim held me for a few minutes and after he recoved he lifts off me, his
cock slipped out of me. I turned around and wrapped myself around him. We
held each other tightly. It is this intimacy we share that makes our
relationship and love for each other so unique and special. The warmth of
love between us is felt so strongly as we hold each other. No words need to
be spoken. Neither of us seems to want to break the embrace. I think if we
could have stayed together like that forever, I wouldn't mind it at all.

Finally I said to Jim, "Hey tiger, you were something else."

I could feel him smile against my cheek.

"I dont' know what came over me, Rick, I just love you so much."

"I know what it was. It was that young, good looking Mormon missionary
wanna be who fired you up...didn't he?"

Jim pulled back and looked me in the eyes. Ah, those beautiful eyes.

"Hey, I thought I was the shrink here."

"I am just glad you came home and took it out on me."

With that he kissed me so tenderly, softy, I felt my knees weaken.

"Are you hungary, Jim?"

"Yes, we should clean up now."

"Us or the kitchen?"

"Both."

We broke away, for the moment and he gathered his clothes as I used the
apron to clean up my cum off the floor, I wiped off the table and followed
him into the bedroom and we showered together. After the shower Jim layed
down for a nap as I went about fixing dinner. I threw the steaks on the
grill. My thoughts went back to when I met Jim.

My Mission President called me and told me I was being transfered to North
London. My companion would be Elder Haines, he would be my senior. I had
only been on my mission for 3 months. Elder Haines would be ending his
mission in about nine months.  I had been a 14 year old convert to the
church, my parents were not that religious and had no objection to me
joining. The young missionaires came to my home and taught me the church
lessons in preparation to my joining the church. I am from a small town in
Ohio and the membership wasn't big enough yet for a ward, so I attended a
branch for church every Sunday. I loved it. It felt so right. But, I was
gay. I knew it. I never admitted it to anyone for a long time. I hadn't
done anything about my gay urges other than masturbation. I was too scared
to try anything with anyone and being in this small town, there was no one
I could trust to help me out. Joining the church redirected my interests
and I simply push my urges aside. I soon became an Aaronic priest. I had
decided that I would want to go on a mission when I turned 19. I told my
parents and they were fine with it. But I had to pay for the mission
myself. So, when I turned 16, I got a job and saved all my money for the
next three years for the mission. I was ordained an Elder and received my
mission calling to England. After saying goodbye to my parents, I flew out
to Provo, Utah for the Missionary Training Center where I learned how to
give the lessons. After about six weeks I was ready and then flew to
England. My first companion was a nice guy, but seemed too distracted about
going home. We got along well. We did everything that we supposed to do, he
even let me give a few lessons. The lessons are memorized and I had to try
and make it sound like it wasn't. I slipped a couple of times referring to
the "investagators" as Mr. or Mrs. Jones, which is in the lesson script. I
forgot to subsitute the real names. Boy was I embrassed when my companion
told me about it.  He went home when I was transfered. Up to this time, I
had been very diligent in keeping my homosexual feelings surpressed. I
loved the church, my testimony was strong and I really felt l like I
belonged. I felt proud of myself. Then I met Elder Haines. When I looked
him into his eyes, I fell immediately in love or lust, I wasn't sure which
it was. All of my repressed homosexual feelings surfaced so quickly. I felt
myself in trouble.

I hid my feelings for Elder Haines as closely as I could. He was a
hunk. But it was his personality that hooked me.  He was caring.  He worked
with me, studied the scriptures with me, he would always hug me (of course
in a non-sexual way) in the morning before we went out and at bed time
right after our nightly prays. He became my mentor, my best friend. After a
couple of weeks he began to show me affection as a "best friend" would. He
told me he loved me as his friend and companion. Elder Haines was making it
so hard for me as I was sure I was falling in love with him. I had never
felt this way about anyone in my life. On P days, the day we cleaned our
flat and washed our clothes, we were best buds. The more I felt I was
falling in love with him, the more my prayers to Heavenly Father to help me
keep myself together. I wrote in my journal everynight about Elder Haines
and our day's activities.
 
Elder Haines and I taught and baptized many investagators. I got to see him
naked at the baptisms. The baptisms required a full submersion under
water. Usual an Elder was chosen to do this as Investagators tend to get
close to the missionaries. Elder Haines, being the senior missionary,
usually got picked. I stayed with him, even in the changing rooms. When he
came back from the baptism, he would be soaked. He had to bring a change of
clothes. The first time, I watched with trepidation. I knew I would be
seeing him naked. I hoped my own cock would behave itself. I didn't need to
get a hard on over Elder Haines. He came back in with the now, new member
of the church, a young man about 18. They both started taking their clothes
off. Elder Haines and now Brother Newell took off thier shirts, Brother
Newell had a white T-shirt on and Elder Haines had his white garment
top. They both removed thier pants. Brother Newell had on regular white
briefs and Elder Harkins had his bottom garments which today would be
called boxer briefs since they reach to his knees. I was trying so hard not
to be paying attention. No one was speaking. Then they we both naked and
drying off. Brother Newell was the first one I looked at. He had a nice
athletic body, no hair and a very pronounced uncut cock. I am uncut too. I
learned later that England doesn't circumcise thier males rountinely like
they do in the U.S. Then I turned to Elder Haines, he was beautiful. He was
so hairy, I loved it. His cock was about 4 inches soft and cut. I knew my
masturbatory fantasies in the shower every morning were going to be all
about Elder Haines. My cock became very hard standing there. No one seemed
to notice, thankfully. I did get the calling to do baptisms and if it were
couples, then both Elder Harkins and I would do the honors. And, yeah, then
we would be both naked together afterward. It was such a turn
on. Thankfully my cock didn't give me away but I did get a little puffy
there. A couple of times I could have sworn Elder Haines was puffy himself,
but I figured it was just my imagination.

We did maintain our personal modesty. We never showed our nakedness to each
other in the pit (missionary slang for apartment or flat). I don't think I
could have dared been naked in front of Elder Haines alone. I knew I would
have lost it. If he found out I was gay and attracted to him, he would have
called the Mission Prez and I would have been sent home. Then probably
excommunicated for being homosexual.

Each month came along and neither of us were transfered. I always sighed
with relief that I would have another month with Elder Haines. Elder Haines
was soon going home. He stayed my companion for all nine months until he
left, we were a great team together. It broke my heart to lose him. When we
hugged for the last night before his leaving, we held each other for quite
awhile. We talked about how we felt for one another. He said he loved me as
his best friend and he never wanted to lose contact with me. We agreed to
write and when I went home we would call and meet as often as we could. He
told me that the months with me were the best of his mission. I told him I
felt the same way. I told him I would miss him greatly. Some missionaries
get close to a companion, some can't stand each other, but for me and Elder
Haines...we bonded. The morning he left me, he came over to hug me. He
placed his arms around me and kissed my cheek and said he loved me. It took
everything I had not to breakdown and cry. Then he was gone. While my new
companion settled in, I went for my shower and I cried my heart out. I had
thoughts I would never see him again.  For the rest of my mission, I was
faithful and deligent in my duties. I received my first letter from Elder
Haines after he got home. He told me he was going into medicine and he had
met this really nice girl. He thought he would marry someday. I had six
months left on my mission when he wrote he was getting married. They were
going to wait until I got home so I could be his best man. I was so
honored.  Then my mission was over.

I went home to Ohio and started back at the community college. I wanted to
be a social worker so I studied for a degree. Jim paid for my flight to
Houston for the wedding. It was great to see him again. At the airport, he
hugged me and kissed on the cheek. I nearly fainted. He introduced me to
Sara and off we went. The wedding was great and then I went home to
school. The calls became less frequent as he had school, a wife and a child
on the way. As the years passed and the lonliness was incredible. At
church, everyone tried to set me up with a girl. A big scandal broke that 2
missionaries from the ward had been sent to the same mission home for their
mission and returned as lovers. Soon after that I drifted away from church
and became inactive.

Jim called to tell about the birth of his son. He told me he named him
James Richard, after us. I was overwhelmed. His life went on. I got so
tired of being alone. I started driving to Columbus to the gay bars, I
needed to find someone like Jim. I fooled around with some guys for awhile,
then I got tired of it, got tested and stop having sex. Meanwhile Jim had
two more sons. I thought Jim would follow Mormon tradition and have a large
family. He already had 3 missionaries in the making.

I was working for Clark County in the childern protective services
division. I still had my faith, I prayed, but I was so lonely. I kept
working to keep myself occupied, but I knew I would have to change
something soon. Two weeks before Thanksgiving in '91, Jim called me.

"Hi Rick, it's Jim." I could tell by the tone of his voice that something
wasn't right.

"Hi Buddy, you are a little early with your annual Thanksgiving Day
call...what's up?"

Jim was quiet for a couple of seconds, and then what seemed like a hushed
voice he said, "I left Sara."

That blew me away, never in a million years did I ever think that Jim
wouldn't be with Sara and the kids, just no way.

"Jim, I am here for you, I am your friend, you can tell me anything."

"Rick, I know you are my friend. I thank God everyday that you have been in
life. But, I am not the man you thought I was. I'm not the man I thought I
was."

"Jim, tell me what it is."

Jim was so quiet. I had the impression this was really had to do. I
couldn't imagine what would take Jim away from Sara. They seemed so perfect
together.

"I have had some...ah, feelings and desires that I have finally reconciled
myself to accept. Rick, I am homosexual."

OH SHIT, I thought. I ton of bricks couldn't have been much worse to knock
me on my ass when he said that.

Apparently I was quiet too long. "Rick, are you still there."

"Yes." I said. I knew in the next few minutes I was going to say have to
tell him that I was gay.

"Jim, what is going on now?"

"I told my bishop a couple of weeks ago that I was struggling. He gave me a
blessing and told me to pray about it. I did. Then 2 days ago I told
Sara. Rick, the hurt on her face was devastating for me. I told her I would
take care of everything. I packed my clothes and went to a
motel. Yesterday, I rented this apartment I am in now. I called an attorney
today so I can start taking care of Sara and the boys. I just got back from
a meeting with my bishop where I gave him a letter to remove my name from
the church membership rolls. I do not want any embarrasment for Sara and
the boys, so I resigned from the church to avoid any disciplinary action
and excummunacation. I love Sara too much to hurt her anymore then I
have. Rick, I hope you are still my friend."

I was blown away by all this. I was having mixed emotions.

"Jim, you are my best friend. I am here for you always."

I couldn't see him, but I sensed just by his breathing that he was
relieved. I knew what I had to do.

"Jim, I have an idea."

"Yes."

"You have a two bedroom apartment, right?"

"Yes."

"You don't need to be alone right now, how would you like to have an old
room mate move in with you?"

Now my thoughts were not carnal, this offer was from friendship.

"How?"

"I don't have a lease on this place. I haven't been happy in my job. I hate
it here in Ohio. I will pack my clothes up tomorrow in my car and I will
drive to Houston and be with you. I can't in good conscience not take care
of you in your present situation."

"You would give everything up you have known all your life to come here for
me?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what to say, I am so touched."

"Look buddy, if I was in trouble, I always figured you be here for me,
somehow."

"Yes, you're right, I would."

"But you won't feel uncomfortable being around me since I am gay?"

"Jim, I could never feel uncomfortable around you and besides..."Here it
comes, I have to tell him,"...I am gay, too."

There was complete silence on the phone. I could tell Jim was trying to
rationalize it.

"Rick, did you just to me that you're gay?"

"Yes."

"Rick, how long have you known?"

"Since before I joined the church. I was gay when I was baptized, I was gay
when I was on my mission, I am gay now."

"I am stunned, Rick, I had no idea, none."

"Only my parents knew and I only told them after I got back from my
mission."

"Wow."

"Jim, will you have the room ready for me when I get there?"

"You're actually going to come to Houston?"

"Without a second thought."

I called my parents that night, told them I was leaving town, packed my
stuff and drove to Texas. It took 2 days. I got to the apartment and Jim
opened the door for me I just stood there, I couldn't move. I was afraid to
move. Jim seemed to be feeling the same way. So, I dropped my bags took him
in my arms, kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear,"I love you". His
arms tightened around me and he began to weep. I moved into the spare
bedroom. It would be six months before Jim and I became intimate. I didn't
rush him because I didn't know if he felt that way about me. On our first
anniversary, I gave him my mission journals. I wanted him to know how I
felt about him while we were together. When he was done, we had a long talk
about what he had read. We laughed about my getting hard when I saw him
naked for the first time...he knew. He figured it had to do with teen
hormones than anything else. I was so happy to be with him to help adjust
to his new life. He missed his boys so much. I was glad to be there for him
because I felt without me or someone, he would have been lost
completely. Even though he is a psychiatrist, he couldn't heal himself.

The steaks were ready and the table set, so I went in to wake Jim from his
nap. He looked so peaceful. It took quite a bit to wake him, the sex must
have worn him out. He got up. We had our dinner and a very quiet
evening. That night, in bed, I held him close to me. I love him, I just
plain love him.

I got up early the next day as I had an early appointment at the Gay Teen
Youth Center. Jim had told me that he gave his patient my card and that I
might see him today. I so wanted to see who this hunk was that sent my Jim
to be so horned up.


The end of Chapter Three.