Date: Mon, 23 Feb 2004 14:38:34 -0800 (PST)
From: gaymormonwriter@yahoo.com
Subject: Born To Be A Missionary Chapter 9  adult/youth,  relationships

Born To Be A Missionary
Chapter 9

(Author's notes: This story is the property of the author. Distribution or
reproduction is strictly forbidden without the expressed written permission
of the author. This story features homosexuals and may contain sexual
activity between men.  I have received some really nice emails from happy
readers and please keep those coming. Thanks.)


Jim's perspective:

I had gotten a call from Tyler telling me that he and Gary were on the road
back to Houston. Tyler told me they were together. I am so glad that worked
out.  I told Tyler that we still had some work to do if he was going to
reconcile with his family. I didn't' know how Gary was going to work in
that mix.

I received a call about a week ago from a father who wanted me to see his
son. The son's name was Terry Alberts. He said his son was nothing but
trouble and wanted me to fix him. I asked if he was into drugs or alcohol
and he said no. He said the boy needed his personality adjusted. I asked
him if he did well in school and he said yes. The father said that Terry
didn't get along with anyone, shy and withdrawn. I asked if his son was
homosexual, and the father said no, he didn't think so since there had
never been one in his family^Åever.

Today is my first session with Terry.

"Have a seat where ever you like, Terry"

This will be the extended evaluation appointment. Terry takes the rocker
recliner. I have taken the other rocker recliner.

"Terry, tell me why you think you are here?"

"Well, my parents wanted me to get some^Å.help with a problem I may have."

"What is that problem, Terry?"

Terry closed his eyes, his eyes then bunched up and he began to cry.

"I don't know what is wrong with me, I don't belong anywhere. I have no
friends. I don't even feel comfortable in my own home. I feel so different
from everyone else. I cry all the time. School is torture for me. No one
hardly speaks to me and that includes the teachers." Terry wiped his face
off with his shirt sleeve.

"Terry, do you know what kind of doctor I am?"

"I know you are a psychiatrist. That is all I know."

"Who sent you to me?"

"My father decided he had enough of me. He found you in the phone book."

"Terry, yes, I am a psychiatrist. My specialty is working with young men
who are having trouble with their sexuality. Do you know what your
sexuality is Terry?"

Terry started to cry again.

"I am not sure."

"How old are you Terry?"

"I just turned 18."

"You said your father had had enough of you, what is that about?"

"I haven't been the son he wanted. I don't like the things he does. Sports,
cars, hunting, I have always been a major disappointment to him. I believed
he wanted an exact duplicate on him. I'm not."

"How do you know you are a disappointment to him?"

"He says so in so many words or lack of them. Nothing I have ever done has
been good enough for him. I have tried and tried. I would've been on the
Honor roll at school, but I always have trouble passing phys ed. I tried
playing baseball. He managed my team. I was terrible at it. He always got
mad because I didn't want to work on cars. I tried the Cub Scouts. I hated
it. I joined DeMolay. I didn't fit in. I could just not please him. I gave
up talking to him because he doesn't listen to me."

Terry just shook his head. The poor guy looked so lost. Terry isn't a bad
looking young man. About 5'10, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes. His
finger nails look like he chews them pretty good. His right foot his
shaking a mile a minute.

"How do you get along with your mother?"

"Okay, at least we can talk. But as far as my father is concerned, she is
indifferent."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes. 2 brothers."

"How do you get along with them?"

"I don't."

"Why?"

"They are my Dad's best buddies. They see how is with me and they are the
same."

"So, you feel so alone. At home, at school."

"Yes."

"Have you thought of about ending it, Terry?"

Terry stiffened up. He wouldn't look at me. His foot stopped shaking. His
hands were are on the arm rest of the chair. He was holding on so tightly
his knuckles looked white.

"Terry, you think about it a lot don't you?"

Terry started crying again. I moved to the end of the couch near him.

"You have never told anyone before have you?"

Terry just shook his head.

"Have you tried?"

Terry shook his head no.

"Does the pain feel that bad, Terry?"

"Yes."

"Terry, do you feel different because you believe you are gay and you don't
want to be?"

Again, he started crying, nodding his head yes.

"Are you on any medication at all, Terry?"

"Medication ?"

"Medication for depression."

"Oh, no, that wouldn't be acceptable to my father."

"Being gay wouldn't be acceptable either to your father, would it?"

"Oh, no. He doesn't like gays. Especially the politics. You should see how
he reacts when he sees the gay weddings going on in San Francisco now."

I wonder how dear old dad would feel if he knew his son's new psychiatrist
was gay.

"When did you realize you might be gay?"

"I really not sure. I always liked watching SAVED BY THE BELL and I
couldn't take my eyes of the guy who played Zach. I have always looked at
boys, never girls."

"Have you done anything with another guy? It is okay. What you say to me,
stays with me. Your father will not know."

Terry looked up at me. His eyes searching mine, looking like he was trying
to find trust there. When I thought he did he spoke.

"Yes. I few times."

"How old were you the first time?"

"I was 16. I was working at the Loew's Cineplex. I was an usher
there. There was a dressing room there since we had to wear uniforms. There
was another guy who worked there. I lusted after him, he looked so
perfect. Tall, handsome, sweet smile. We had finished a shift and he and I
were the only ones there changing. He was in his underwear. He caught me
staring at him. He asked me if I was interested it what he had there. I
stammered about saying I didn't know what he was talking about. But I was
in my underwear too. I guess my ^Åah^Åexcitement gave me away. He came over
to me and touched me. I was scared. He took my hand and placed on him, I
had never felt another guy before." Terry looked at me, "Do you want to
hear this?"

"You can tell me whatever you want to. I am here to help you understand and
to accept whatever you need to."

"Okay" he said," Well, Ted, that was his name, asked me if I had
ever^Åmasturbated with another guy. I told him no. He slipped his hand
inside my underwear and pulled me out. He started pulling back and
forth. He took my hand and pushed it inside his underwear. I wrapped my
hand around him. So we did each other. After that, every time we worked
together, we would play around like that."

"How did you feel about what you were doing with Ted?"

"Like I said I was scared at first. I wanted to do more with him, but I
wasn't sure he would go for it."

"Did it go further, Terry?"

"We discussed oral sex. He said I could do him, but he wouldn't do me. I
said I would. So I did. I like doing it. After that he wouldn't touch me
anymore, he just wanted me to take care of him orally. Then he told some of
the other guys and I did them as well. Someone told the manager and I was
fired."

"Why did you have oral sex with the other guys?"

"Because, they were paying attention to me, even in my mind I felt I
belonged even though I knew I didn't, I was willing to do anything just for
that attention that I never got anywhere else."

"You feel desperate enough to give guys oral sex just for attention?"

Terry eyes got big, the anger was evident as he went off.

"YES, AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN, SUCK ANY GUY'S COCK JUST TO FEEL
THE TOUCH OF ANOTHER GUY, TO FEEL ALIVE^Å" and then he began to cry again,
"I LOVE SUCKING COCK, I LOVE WHEN A GUY COMES IN MOUTH AND I SWALLOW EVERY
LAST DROP BECAUSE HE GAVE IT TO ME, HIS GIFT. I DON'T CARE IF THE GUY IS
CUT OR UNCUT, BIG, SMALL, FAT OR THIN, I'LL SUCK IT. EVERY COCK IS ANOTHER
PUNCH IN THE FACE AT MY FATHER^ÅFUCK HIM." Terry than doubled over sobbing
his heart out.

I waited for him to cry it out. I had tissues on the table next to him, but
he used his shirt sleeve to wipe his face and nose.

"Does anyone in your family know that you are gay?"

"My brothers have always asked me over and over again, but I just denied
it. At school I am usually called all the usually names, that is if anyone
actually speaks to me."

"You have a lot of anger towards your father.  You want him to find out
don't you?"

"There will be a time when I will probably let it slip when he and I are
arguing. It's his face I want to see when it sinks in."

"Do you feel like hurting your father, physically?"

"I want him to feel the emotional pain I have."

"How many guys have you had oral sex with?"

"I have had about 7 guys in my mouth."

"Terry, you need to be tested for STD's."

"I know, the internet has all kinds of helpful information for guys like
me."

"You can go down to the Gay Teen Center in Montrose and be tested. If you
are going to be sexually active, like you have been, you need to make sure
you are healthy. It is confidential for the HIV, for the other popular
STD's, they are reported to the Health Department only if positive."

"Doctor, what's really wrong with me?"

"I think you are clinically depressed and I would like to see you on
medication. You are apparently have anger issues with your family,
especially your father. I think you have some self image problems, maybe
some self loathing. You have social anxiety. Coming here is a start in
helping you. You said you were 18, is this your senior year?"

"No, I am a junior. I have another year of hell in that house before I go
to college. I was held back in kindergarten."

"I am going to call your family physician and get a prescription for you
for depression. I want you to come see me at least twice a week. We have a
lot to work through. Are you willing to come back?"

"Yes, I can do that, I am tired of feeling this way."

"You know, you don't have to have sex with guys like you are doing. Finding
someone to be close to is easier than you think. At the Gay Teen Center,
you will find information about being safe and it is also a place where
other gay teens go to socialize. You need to be around people that you may
feel more comfortable with."

"Okay."

"See you on Wednesday, okay?"

"Yes, I will be here."

"Terry, are you okay, really okay?"

"Yeah, I am okay."

**********************************************************************************************


>From Jamie's (Jim's son) perspective:

I knocked on his bedroom door. Steve's mother told me to go on up as Steve
was in his room. She knew Steve and I were best friends now since early
grade school. I come here often.

"Come in."

I opened the door and walked in and closed it. Steve came over and we got
into a hot kiss. His lips were on fire as his passion for me was always so
constant. My hand found his zipper and I pulled it down and moved my hand
inside his jeans. Steve found my zipper and reached inside and found my
cock and brought it out and started sliding my skin back and forth. I found
his cock and brought it out and squeezed and pulled on it.

We stood there stroking and kissing, I love having him touch me and I love
holding his cock in my hand. Steve is about 5'10", has blond hair, green
eyes, solid muscled body. He has a lot of hair on his chest that I
love. His blond hair runs from his chest down his legs. His cock is 6
inches and cut. I too am 6 inches, but uncut. I have brown hair, brown eyes
and I am pretty smooth.

We are both 18, Mormon, and are planning on going on our missions next
year.  Both our Dads went on missions. My Dad is gay and his Dad is
straight. Steve and I discovered masturbation together at 13 and oral sex
at 14. I told him I loved him when I was 15, he told me when he was 16. We
have been very discrete with our sex life.

I pushed Steve to his bed and I toke his hard cock into my mouth. I sucked
him all the way down to his pubes. I love the smell of his pubes, I love
the taste of his cock and I love running my tongue up and down his cock. I
took the head and smothered it with my tongue and pulled on his shaft. He
loves that. When we are like this with his mother in the house, we usually
do this quickly, with our clothes on. I took in his cock on the way down
again and slowly brought my lips back to his gland. I have my hand on his
shaft and I am pumped him for his cum and he did. He filled my mouth with
his boy seed. I licked him clean and I put his cock back into his jeans and
zipped him up.

"Your stud," Steve says as he pushed me down on the bed and took me into
his mouth. He swirled his tongue under my foreskin and around the sensitive
gland, then he slid his lips down my shaft, down to pubes. He flicked his
tongue all over the underside of my cock. Then he slowly pulled back the
foreskin and took my gland to his lips and worked it like I did him, he
grabbed my foreskin and jacked me for all he's worth and I exploded into
his mouth five or six times. He licked me clean and kissed my cock head
before he slid my foreskin back over it and stuffed me back into my jeans.

Steve brought his mouth up to mine and then we savored the taste of our
mouth's flavor of cum.  We heard footsteps coming up the stairs and we
separated. The footsteps went down the hall.

"You know we only have a year left before we go on our mission, I want us
to go together to the temple."

"I know, Steve, we will."

"You know, the family is going to my grandparents this weekend, will you
spend the weekend with me?"

"I will have to ask but probably won't be a problem."

"Good, we can run around naked for two days and I can suck on you all the
time." Steve just loves to suck my cock.

"How much cum do you think I have?"

"Well, Jamie, I sure image I have had gallons of your stuff."

We both laugh at that.

"Steve, I bought some KY, maybe we can try "that' this weekend."

Steve looked me in the eyes with a wicked grin on his face, "Oh yeah."

This would be the first time Steve and I would try anal sex and it is just
the next level for us as lovers. We had agreed to wait until we were 18
before trying anything else. We have been able to keep our sexual activity
private for 5 years. We agreed that no one needed to know, just us. We
agreed to go ahead and take our mission callings and hope that we would get
sent to the same place, but we both realize that might be asking too much
in our prayers. Steve and I are going to complete our freshman year in
college before we go on our missions. Yes, we lie to our bishop about being
chaste, but it is the only way to keep what we our doing secret and still
keep our faith and each other.

We were still laying on Steve's bed. My head was on his shoulder. My hand
reached down to his crotch and felt for his cock. I started rubbing and he
started growing. I am so bad, because I knew we can't do anything more
today.

"Jamie," Steve said, "I know you love me and I love you, and we have made
plans for college and our missions, are you going to want to be with me
after we graduate college?"

"Steve, I want what my Dad has with Rick, only I want it with you. When I
am at Dad's, you can feel the love they have for each other. I see my Dad's
eyes when he looks at Rick and I see the look in Rick's eyes when he looks
at Dad. I see the same look in your eyes. Rick has made my Dad so happy. I
worried about him when he left my mom, and I didn't understand then, but I
know he left her because he loved her and didn't want to hurt her by
staying with here like he was. I know she was hurt, but it gave her a
chance to be with someone else. My step dad had been good to us and he
hasn't said anything bad about my Dad and Rick." I continued to squeeze his
cock through his pants.

"I just hope that our love will survive being separated for two years."

I was really starting to get into what I am doing to Steve's cock, it is
hard and I was running my finger nails along his shaft.

"You keep that up, Jamie, and I am going to mess my shorts there."

"Oh, is this feeling good, my love?"

"Yes it is, are you going to leave me hanging?"

"I don't know, how close are you."

"Almost there."

I reached for his zipper and yanked his rock hard cock out and stuffed into
my mouth, seconds later he exploded in my mouth. I didn't swallow, yet. I
went up to his mouth and shoved my tongue, full of his cum, into his
mouth. Our tongues dueled for the his cum. I had my hand on his cock as I
gently pulled on it. When we had finished kissing and sharing cum, I went
back down to his cock and licked it clean.

"Jamie, I swear, you are addicted to my cum aren't you?"

"Well Steve, I think you are addicted to my cock, you miss having a
foreskin so you make up for it with mine."

"Hmmm, I do like your cock, Jamie."

"I knew, more than me."

"Jamie," he said bringing my face up to his," There is no one I would
rather spend my time with than you. I love you Jamie, your cock is just the
bonus that goes with."

"By the way, how is your cock there Jamie?"

Steve reached for my crotch and felt me up.

"Just as I thought^Åsoft^Åhmmm"

"You know I have to get going, buddy."

"I know, here take some tick-tacs so your `dick breath' isn't obvious."

I grabbed the container and dropped some tick-tacs into my
mouth. Spearmint. Steve walked me to his bedroom door and took me into his
arms.

"I can hardly wait for this weekend, Jamie. I want to feel you inside me."

"I want to feel you inside me too, Steve."

We kissed and I was out the door, his house. Got into my car and drove
home.


End of Chapter 9