Date: Fri, 05 Feb 2021 15:09:19 +0000 From: 29Oct <29Oct@protonmail.com> Subject: Box of Nutters (Revised) Box of Nutters The following text is fiction. Fiction describes activities happening between imagination and a keyboard, not in real life. Nothing below is intended to encourage unsafe, illegal or violent liaisons. Revelations of salesmanship and scouting. Box of Nutters Untoward events happened in a large organization teaching boys the wonders of nature through camping. The boys were called scouts. They opened their grand club to girls and along with the gals came an annual cookie sale. Scout management welcomed the income as donations had fallen off drastically when their escapades were exposed. *** Two neighborhood scouts, Phillip and David, find themselves selling the cookies door-to-door late one evening. They pull a wagon with their supply and one lad carries a book of blank receipts and a grubby pencil: "Only ten boxes left, we got to get rid of these. Mom doesn't want them around." "Same here. Dad says he won't take them to work for me either." *** They ascend a few steps to a porch where lights shown from the windows and rung the bell. A balding, heavy man opened the door. "What's this about?" "We're selling scout cookies so we can campout." Phillip stated, "They're only four dollars a box, and you get a receipt." He stood tall in his green uniform. "We've got Cocoanut Smiles, Peanut Butter-Nutters and Chocolate Divines." David added, he pushed a fast sale. "Hm." The man eyed the boys and their wagon. A large, Labrador-mixed mutt loped to the door, poked his head out by the man's leg, sniffing. "Let me get my wallet. Stay right here." He moved the boys to the welcome mat which lay off-centered, near the door. "Don't you move an inch." His footsteps went down a hallway. "Maybe he'll buy all of `em." David hoped. The big dog stepped forward, sniffing the boy's hands and shirts, gave their fingers a few licks then rudely shoved his nose into David's crotch taking deep breaths, then snorted. His muzzle moved to Phillip's pants duplicating the same olfactory inspection. Let me remind you, reader, that these boys are scouts--helpful, courteous and brave. That dog didn't scare them. They petted the beast and enjoyed his nuzzling. "I think he likes my moby." David's four-foot-tall body quivered, "Look, he's licking my pants. Hey, we could lose a box of cookies and put a few nutters in our briefs and see what he does." "Moby. Stupid name." Phillip answered, "Why are you always so, so... itchy? Wait till you get home, horndog." "Itchy is my personal normal." Strident whisper as he decided he liked that dog. Back and forth the dog went, sniffing, bumping, nudging the boy's pants. Dog nose-prints and canine saliva dampened their zipper areas. David had his hand down his pants, enjoying himself. Seemed they'd stood there almost an hour but, it was only five, maybe ten minutes when they heard the footsteps nearing the door. "I'll take two boxes. All the cash I've got." He opened his wallet, counting out the bills. "Which kind?" David asked, hand hovering the boxes. "Which do you like best?" The old man was smiling, noting the damp spots on the scouts. "Nutters." David grabbed two boxes and handed them to the buyer. "Shoulda known." He muttered. "If you boys come back tomorrow night, I'll take five boxes. Have to go to the bank." "Wow. Thanks mister." Phillip felt his budding professionalism and neat cursive handwriting on the receipt earned the sale. Phillip and David marched back home proud. David suggested selling the rest of their stock late on the convenience store parking lot to people suffering with munchies. *** That next night, David had to wear his shorts. He was a messy boy; said he couldn't find his uniform pants. Phillip, a stickler for consistency, changed into his shorts as well and off they went pulling their wagon for their big sale. Porch, doorbell, all the same, yet they heard the dog bark once, he was right inside the door. Again, it took a while for the man to arrive, open the door, "Oh, yes. Cookies. Let me get my wallet. Stay right here, don't move." Again, he placed the boys in the exact spots they stood the previous night and left the door open. Again, the big dog came out and began sniffing and nuzzling the boys' crotches, appreciating their pee-droplet scents. Phillip was put-out, he pushed the dog away yet David petted the dog and lifted the leg of his shorts, "I didn't wear my underwear." He whispered to Phillip. Phillip rolled his eyes, "That's unscoutly. Remember, "...physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight? You're bent." That dog shoved his muzzle up the leg of the boy's shorts, began licking and snorting while David pulled his short twig through his shorts, lost in juvenile joy. Only a few moments later, Phillip's head tilted back, "Oh, man. That was a good one." He grinned at Phillip. As he brought his head down, he noticed an eye. In the opening between the door and the jamb was an eye. The old man had been peeking from behind the door. "Hey! You watching me?" David called out. Phillip was startled to attention and looked to see no one, but noticed a camera by the door. They were filmed, that's why they had to stand exactly where told. They heard shuffling, the man stood at the door, face reddened and fly open. "Here you go, boys." The dog immediately began sniffing the damp spots on the man's pants, "Go on, Bud. Enough for now." He pushed the dog's head away from the damp spots on his slacks. "Did you train your dog to lick privates?" Phillip was no dummy. "What I do with my dog is my business." The man answered, and offered his cash. "You pick out cookies you like." He zipped his pants as his dog licked the floor. Carefully writing out the receipt, Phillip considered how to handle this exchange effectively, "You filmed us with your security camera." Now Phillip knew he stood proud and straight in his uniform, a model of decency, but he stood alongside another scout who was jerking while a beast licked his nuts. The situation didn't have a satisfactory remedy he could find. "Why would I do anything like that? I want my cookies." Faking indignancy, the man blurted. By this time the dog had wandered behind the boys and was enjoying David's rear end, sniffing a more pungent aroma with his super-sensitive snout. Snorting and licking, he caused David to chuckle as he gathered the boxes of cookies, "Here `ya go." Did David just wink? The man took the boxes, smiled and offered his hand to shake. David pumped the man's hand heartily. Phillip turned to the wagon, stuffed his reciept book in his pocket and walked to the sidewalk quietly. *** Our proud, brave scouts sold all their cookies, turned in their reciept book and cash at their next meeting. On their way home, Phillip announced he was going to work toward his Chess badge. "Dad got me a fancy chess set from the Mexican market, it's made of real striped rocks." "Chess? Boring." Phillip replied, "I'm going for Pet Care badge." "You don't have any pets." "Gonna ask that old man if I can borrow his dog. I bet ol' Bud can do some real fancy tricks if I smear some peanut butter on my junk. Wonder what he'd do if I rolled up a slice of balogna and shoved it half-way up my butt." "Disgusting." Phillip replied and by comparison, his Chess merit badge seemed dull. "You better not tell." Phillip glanced at his friend, "A scout is loyal, remember?" For any enjoyment you've had, make a donation to Nifty. https://donate.nifty.org/