Date: Sun, 25 May 2008 16:05:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: Steven Saunders <mafukkinsoljah@yahoo.com>
Subject: Boxy Grove 1

I looked around for an escape route. Through the alley I could hear their
footsteps pounding on the street. They were right behind me. If I didn't
move they would catch me. I thought about my chance if they did catch me.
I'd be done for. I hadn't looked back while I was running but I knew there
had to be at least four of them. And one of them niggas was big.
Linebacker status. I wasn't fucking with him.

I peered back one more time and saw their shadows on the wall adjacent of
the corner. I was facing the street. Traffic was pretty heavy right about
now. It was 3 AM and everybody was leaving Nipsy's about this time. I had
no choice. I bolted in the street.

	Cars honked as they tried to stop before hitting me. I jumped
backward before almost being crushed by a bright red Suburban. It kept
going. I laughed to myself for a second. My blood wouldn't have shown if he
hit me. He could have hit me, driven off, and probably gotten away with it.

	"Get his ass!" Oh shit! They were behind me. I had been standing
here too long. I finished crossing the street and ran down the sidewalk. I
could hear them behind me. Four, no, five sets of feet chased behind
me. They sounding like rampaging bulls. I had no idea how I was going to
survive this.

	I saw a fence. I hopped it and landed smooth enough that I kept
running without breaking my stride. That fence would put some distance
between us. But not enough. I continued following the alley into another
street and turned right. I was hoping to circle behind them and hoped they
were confused enough that they lost me. I hoped. I turned right again at
the next intersection and recrossed the street where I was almost killed by
the Suburban. I ran down the alleyway and saw a crowd of people up ahead. I
tried my hardest to blend in.

	I realized that I was back at Nipsy's. I never thought I'd be so
glad to see this place. I made my way inside and sat at a booth in the
corner. I was sure they wouldn't come back here but, just in case, I wanted
to be able to see them coming. I took my jacket off and got comfortable. A
waiter came by and offered me a drink. "SoCo and Lime," I told him. "And a
glass of water." I leaned back against the soft pleather of my seat and
closed my eyes. What was I gonna do next?

	This is all started because of some nigga. If I hadn't gotten
involved with him I wouldn't be in this shit now and I wouldn't have boys
chasing me down the street like some low class hoodlum. I was not about
this at all. His name was Wesley. He was light skinned. Muscular. He had
that down-home good boy look to him. He looked like the kinda man that
always respected his mama and any other woman. It was obvious the girls in
high school had chased this boy down for some attention. Too bad the man
was gay.

	He approached me at the bar. He asked me for directions to an
apartment complex across town. It was innocent enough. Of course I realized
that he was on his way to see some other nigga. I didn't want that. I
wasn't exactly horny or anything but I do live for sex. I crave it. I don't
think I'm an addict or anything but I really just love having sex. I do it
for recreation. I know its probably terrible but fuck it. Any body that
ever judged me obviously had their own dirt. Plus I believe that everybody
loves sex as much as I do but they won't admit it. Everyone is too
concerned with what the neighbors might think.

	Anyway, Wesley was telling me how he just got into town and he had
no clue on how to get anywhere. I looked him up and down and watched him
blush. I gave him directions to where he wanted to go and then asked him.
"What you wanna go there for?" It was obvious he was thinking "Who the hell
is this nigga?" but he didn't say it. Instead, he politely said "I'm
meeting someone. They want me to get there ahead of them."

	I smirked. "So you bout to be fucking?"

	He shook his head.

	*No you're not.* I thought. *You're about to have conversation with
me and by the time I'm done my legs will be wrapped around your waist.* I
laughed to myself. "What's funny?" he asked me.

	I ignored the question and asked another one instead. "Are you a
top or bottom?" He looked at me obviously caught off his guard. "Neither. I
don't sleep with men."

	"You do realize that Nipsy's is a gay club?"

	He shook his head. "I know but...I...uh." I smiled at him. I made
sure to be cute about it. "It's okay. You can tell me." He sat down. "I
like transsexuals."

	On the inside, I was pissed. Another fine nigga wants to fuck a
chick with a dick. I didn't let my feelings show, however, because this man
was coming home with me.

	To make a long story short, the man-bitch he was supposed to be
fucking was still around and she peeped me as I made a move on ol' boy. She
approached with an attitude and started cussing at me and asked me what the
fuck I thought I was doing. Without even looking at her I said, "Bitch get
lost." The funny part was that Wesley didn't even move. He was captivated
by me.

	She slapped me and I retaliated (of course) by snatching the bitch
by her extensions and wiped her face across the bar. Next thing I know,
three other guys got up and come after me. I grabbed my jacket and ran.

	My drink arrived. I took a long gulp. The stress of running around
had gotten to me. I was in perfect shape but I realized that I hadn't done
any running since high school almost four years ago. I continued to look
around. I was anticipating that someone might come after me any second. I
was nervous. I hated being nervous. I polished off my drink and order
another one. "Make it a double," I told the waiter.

	By my third drink, I was relaxed and feeling back in my element.
Men were smiling at me but I wasn't paying them any attention. Some had
even slipped me their number. Each time they did, I made sure to let them
see me tearing it up. *Silly boys.* I thought.

	On drink number four, I decided it was time to go home. All the
sexy niggas had already left and it was almost 4 AM. I got up and stumbled.
*Oh shit.* I hadn't realized that I was even tipsy. I walked outside and
looked around. I could tell where I was, but just barely. I started walking
down the street. I was doing fine for awhile. It wasn't until I was about
halfway home that I bumped into a street vendor setting up his cart. It
happened in slow motion for me. I watched in shock as I saw the cup of
steaming coffee fly out of his hand and into the air. It arced high and
fast. Too fast for me to get out of the way. It turned over in midair and
came down on top of me.

	The coffee burned me across my face, chest, and shoulders. I
screamed at the top of my lungs. "You son of a bitch! I'm gonna fucking
kill you!" He ran around to the other side of his cart to protect himself
and I chased him around and around it repeatedly. He kept screaming "Help!
This nigga is trying to kill me!" I did in fact plan on killing him. I
planned on pouring an entire pot of coffee over his face then beating him
with the first thing I got my hands on. He was about to die.

	I was violently yanked by my arm and slammed on the hood of a
car. A police car. I was sober now. And afraid. "You're under arrest for
assault." I started to plead with the officer but he ignored me and
continued to read my rights. He sat me in the back seat and I looked though
the rear windshield at the street vendor. He continued to set up his cart
as if nothing happened. I was tired and the last thing I needed was to get
fucking arrested.

	I heard the door slam shut as the police officer entered the
car. He looked back at me and shook his head. "What the hell were you doing
back there?" I didn't know what to say. I just looked at him for a second.
He looked familiar to me. I couldn't place where I met him, but he was
cute. His face was a deep brown complexion and it was soft, but still
firm. I almost-expected to smile at me. I knew him from somewhere. But
where? I couldn't think of it for anything. Regardless of where I knew him
from, I needed a way out of this. I knew pleading with him wouldn't work
and I didn't have any money to even try to bribe him. What could I do? I
racked my brain answers and gave myself a headache. It was hopeless.

	*Wait!* I thought. *He's gotta be gay! Especially if I know him
from somewhere!* I admit that it was desperate thinking but it had merit to
it. He might have been straight but I didn't know very many straight boys.
I didn't like to associate with them. This man had to be gay! I kinda
laughed at him on the inside. *A gay police officer. *This was a first for
me. But how could I exploit this? I couldn't just open my mouth and say "I
know that you're gay. You wanna fuck around in exchange for letting me go?"
And yes, I was going to fuck this police officer so I could get away from
going to jail. I didn't have a choice. Call it classless. Call it
whatever. I didn't care.

	"Hey. Do I know you from somewhere?" It was a cheesy pick-up line
and a bad start but I what did I have to work with? I hoped this worked.

	He ignored me.

	"Hey." I said louder. He continued to ignore me. I slumped back in
my seat. I was going to jail.

	"You know it was fucked up for you to ignore back at Nipsy's?"

	My jaw dropped in shock. That's why he was do familiar. He gave me
his number at Nipsy's! *Oh my God!* This couldn't get worse than it already
was. But I could still get out of this. I needed an explanation. Quick.

	"Oh I was drunk and going through some shit. You gotta forgive me
for that." I said.

	He looked at me through the rearview mirror and raised his eyebrow.
"Oh really? What kinda shit were you going through."

	"You won't even believe it."

	"Try me."

	I sat upright, trying to make myself comfortable in the handcuffs.
"I was talking to this boy. He was tryna fuck and I was too. But some
tranny started talking shit and one thing led to another."

	"One thing led to another?"

	I laughed. "I was getting chased around town by all her niggas.
Eventually I made it back to Nipsy's and started drinking to ease my
nerves."

	"And then you tried to assault a street vendor on your way home?"
He asked.

	"He spilled coffee on me."

	He pulled over and then started laughing at me. I couldn't imagine
what was so damn funny. I was tired and pissed off and here this nigga was
laughing at me. I decided that if I got out of this then I was going to out
his ass. He turned around in his seat and looked at me. "You had a rough
night, huh?" Fuck his sarcasm.

	"Too bad, though." I said. "I was tryna get some dick."

	He stopped laughing and looked at me.

	"What?" I looked back at him.

	"I was tryna get some ass." He came right out with it.

	"Oh forreal? So what's good?" I bit my bottom lip and crossed my
legs. I had a nice little phatty and I made sure he saw it. My legs were
perfect. I knew that men fantasized about throwing my legs in the air.
Sometimes I wished I could do it to myself. My waist was perfectly slim and
I small v-cut. I wasn't muscular but I was toned well. I saw him looking at
my ass. I smiled. I looked away then slowly returned my gaze to him. "So
what's good nigga? You tryna hit this or what?"

	He turned around and started to drive again. He made an illegal ass
U-turn. "We going to my place."