Any characters portrayed in this story are fictional and not representative of anyone living or dead.
This is a story about the love between a twelve-year-old boy and a twenty-seven-year-old man and it contains graphic details of sexual contact between them. If you are under age and if this is illegal where you live or where you're accessing this site, then I suggest you leave immediately. For those who wish to stay, then this story is a long one of sixteen parts and an epilogue, which deals with a relationship rather than a brief and sexually stimulating read, although there are parts when the sexuality of the liaison is paramount to the story and I've done my best to leave nothing out.
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Boys can be lovers, too.
When Henry spoke to me, I was petrified.
"Dean. I reckon you're feeling pretty shitty at the moment. You shouldn't really because what you said to Janice was a lovely thing. Yes, I know, it also gave away your feelings about Matt, but we already knew that anyway. I know it doesn't make it easier to know you've been found out, but now it's out in the open, we can all deal with it properly."
My head was down while he was speaking, and I didn't lift it when I spoke. "Do you want me to leave? I will if you want me to."
"No, neither Janice nor I want you to leave. Perhaps I need to explain a few things to you. We know our boy and everything about him because we love him dearly. We've been his shoulder to cry on when he's needed it and also protected him from stuff he didn't even know existed at times. He's our life. Janice and I have discussed his sexuality many times. We knew he was gay and we pretty much knew his preferences were males older than himself, especially when we discovered the gay magazines he hides around his bedroom." Henry giggled softly, as if to himself. "Oh yes, Matt knows the gay scene. He'll probably learn you a thing or two. But, we love him no matter what he is."
I was almost in tears. "But I'm more than twice as old as he is."
Henry was a while answering. "Dean, I'm going to say a few things and you might think I'm putting you down, but I'm not; I'm telling you how it is. Matt is only twelve, but in many ways he's more mature than you are. I don't suppose he and you have spoken about much apart from what you have. He goes to a special private college which deals with highly intelligent kids because normal schools can't cater for him. Matt doesn't think like a twelve-year-old, he thinks like a young man in his early twenties. Of course, mind and body are two different entities. His body is that of a beautiful child and I reckon it's that that attracted you to him in the first place. It's the one seriously worrying thing about this whole affair. I've been around a bit and I know how it works. When he gets older, you won't want him because you're not gay in the proper sense of the word as its defined today, meaning consenting adults of the same sex You're a lover of boys. Am I right?"
I nod and mutter that I am, and I'm feeling utterly humiliated now.
"Have you had an affair with a boy before?"
"No. I was beginning to think I never would."
"Would it have bothered you?"
"I suppose it would, but I do have morals even though you might think I don't. I don't go chasing after boys."
"No, most of you don't. In fact, my experience of people like you is the majority live their lives as voyeurs. It's only the few who deliberately seek boys out for sex. Sometimes, people like you get lucky and come across a `Matthew'. Maybe Matt has hit the jackpot and found someone who loves him for himself as well as for his body beautiful. Am I right?"
"Yes you are. I love him because he's Matthew and not just because he's a sexual object. He's a very special boy, but I don't think I'd want just a loving relationship. The temptation might be too great and I think I'd rather not have a relationship than one where I might do something he didn't want. That's what I was thinking about when I was at the cove the day after we met while you were dragging him around Tintagel. I decided I would play it by ear and I was quite prepared to make up an excuse and leave rather than risk temptation." Henry was quiet and didn't interrupt me, which pleased me. I needed to say exactly what had gone on in my mind so far and I decided not to withhold anything from him. "When I got back from my day at the cove, and when we went to the phone box to book the table at The White Lion, we talked about what we both wanted. Even afterwards, I still had serious reservations because of his age. But that's when it became mutual and I decided not to leave. Since then, Matthew has been driving the agenda and I've had very little say in it." I managed a shy grin. "Not that I'm complaining."
Henry laughed. "I'm sure he has. He's sex on two legs is that boy. What did you think when he sat on my knee and we kissed on the lips? I'll bet it surprised you didn't it?"
"I thought it was beautiful. Strange; but beautiful."
"Ahhh. I'll explain the strange bit to you. Despite what the media and the do-gooders like you to believe, in actual fact, many kids are sexually active and some who are overactive will get their kicks any way they can to fulfil their needs. If I told you that Matthew's kiss was part of his sexual needs, what would you say to that?"
I looked at Henry. "I don't know what to say."
Henry was looking down and fiddling with a flaky piece of slate. "It's not because he wants sex with his father, it's because he wants sex any way he can get it. He's into men and I'm a man. Now you've come along, both his mother and I can breathe a sigh of relief in that regard." Henry fanned his hand out. "There are some awful bastards out there and our biggest worry was that he might end up with somebody he met in the public toilets. So, in a way, thank goodness, he's found someone like you." Then Henry changed tack and shocked me again. "Where do you think I've been today? You don't need to answer; I'll tell you. I've spent much of my time on the phone looking into what you are. Don't be offended if I tell you that you're one of the most boring individuals I've ever investigated. That's good. Boring is good. You're a fine, boring young man."
I didn't know whether to be offended or grateful for his comments. I looked Henry straight in the eyes. "Who are you?"
Henry laughed. "Let's just say I'm one of the good guys who ensure you sleep peacefully in your bed at night. Don't ask anything else because you won't get an answer. By the way, you fancy Janice, don't you?"
Again I'm shocked. Is there anything about me this man doesn't know, and that's only in a relatively few short hours. "She's beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful. I've never met a woman like her. I didn't think I could ever fancy a woman, but she's sort of special in a strange way I can't fathom out. She's made me a bit mixed up about who and what I am. No woman has ever done that to me before."
Henry gurgled with laughter. "There's hope for you yet, Dean. Not a lot, but just a chink of light in that boy-loving armour of yours. I doubt you'll ever meet another woman like Janice though. I never have. Right, are we all settled now? Can we get on with things?"
I looked at him. "What happens with Matthew and me now?"
Henry laughed again. "He's a control freak. Like you said, he'll drive the agenda. He'll make your tent his own now and you'll have little say in it. He bosses me and his mother about something awful at times. When you'd gone off to the surf, he said it was his fault and gave us a real mouthful." Henry's voice took on a sort of steely tang. "Thank you for being honest with me Dean, but there's just one more thing. If you ever harm our son, seriously I mean, and it doesn't include you two parting when the time arrives for that to happen, you won't live to regret it. Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly, but that will never happen, and you know it won't."
"I'm pretty sure it won't, but all your actions regarding our boy from now on will always be done with my words in mind. That's why I said them. Oh, and this conversation has never taken place. If Matthew asks you what we were talking about, just tell him that you can't tell him. Don't worry, he won't push it. He will probably understand better than you. In fact, I could lay odds now he won't even ask. Knowing you and he are ok with Janice and me will be enough for him. Shall we go back to the others now?"
"I'm a bit nervous."
Henry smirked. "I'll tell you what we can do to ease the nerves, let's dive in off the rock together and then join them. They'll know then everything is ok before we get there."
I broke into uncontrollable, relieved laughter. Henry was laughing with me, but he was puzzled. Tears were running from my eyes when I told him he wasn't a very good secret agent. His questioning look needed a reply. "If I wanted to bump you off, all I would need to do is let you dive in first. The tide has gone out and it's not deep enough now. You'd probably break your neck."
Henry roared with laughter. "I need to get on that phone again. They've made a mistake. You're not such a boring young bastard after all."
Together, and still giggling, we made our way back to Matthew and Janice. They were sun bathing on the flat rock. I noticed they both had plenty of sun cream on. That was good. Even during our conversation, I'd been worried about Matthew getting burned.
Dad and Dean had been sitting on the rock by our diving place for almost half an hour. I was getting more and more worried. Mum and I had plastered ourselves with sun cream and because I could talk easily to mum about anything, we both chatted about the situation while we relaxed on towels to get a tan in the hot sun. I never took my eyes off the two of them. Occasionally, they laughed. That was good. Other times, they were serious. That was bad. I'd decided whatever the outcome of their conversation, nobody was going to part Dean and me now. When I saw them get up and begin to make their way towards us and they were laughing, I knew everything was going to be ok. I told mum they were coming back. She got up and tidied herself. She didn't need to, she was only wearing a swimsuit, but it's what she always did. When they reached us, Dean spoke first.
"Thank goodness you've put some sun cream on. I was worried about you both. Anybody fancy a swim? I need to cool down."
We all agreed it was a good idea and strolled down to the sea, which was now receding out into the bay. We got about thirty yards from the sea and I told them all to stop. "Right, let's have a race. Last one in stinks." I shot off and heard them all laughing as they raced to the sea. I don't know who was last, but when I surfaced after diving into the surf, they were still laughing. Whatever problems had existed before had now gone and I knew Dean and I were not to be parted. I was treading water a few yards from Dean. He looked at me, swam a few powerful strokes, came up beside me and I was in his arms. We didn't kiss. That would have been stupid. Mum and dad were not far away and they, too, were together. I was as happy as I'd ever been in my life. Heaven was four people in the sea in Cornwall. Mum and dad; both lovers: Dean and I; both lovers.
As we walked up the steep path from the cove with mum and dad quite a way behind us, because it was the first chance we'd had to talk alone, I asked Dean if everything was ok now.
"Yes. Everything is fine now. It's all sorted."
"Good. I'll be sleeping with you tonight."
Dean looked amused. "I might fall asleep before you're done with me."
I giggled. "You're a wuss. I'll have to get you some stamina tablets, old man."
Dean chuckled and flipped me on the side of the head. "Oi! I'm the normal one here. You're the sex mad fiend."
"How would you know? You've never been with a boy before. All boys are like me."
"No they're not. I was a boy myself once upon a time and I certainly wasn't like you."
We looked at each other and burst out laughing. I let the matter of our different sexual needs drop. "Dean, if we hadn't made it together, I would have gone back home and missed you like hell. In fact, I'd have made dad do his stuff and find out who you were and got to you some other way. I really would. What would you have done?"
Dean shrugged his shoulders. "I would have just got on with life. I wouldn't be the only one. There must be a lot of boy-lovers out there who've fallen in love with you and done just that. I'll bet dozens have secretly taken your photo and had fantasy sex with you when they got home. I mean, you don't exactly hide your beautiful butt, do you?"
I laughed. "No. I'm glad I don't. It caught you. Would you have taken my photo and had fantasy sex looking at it?"
Dean laughed. "No. I've got a confession to make; I haven't got a camera."
That amused me. "You haven't got a camera?"
"I don't need one. I can remember all the boys I've been in love with without having a picture of them." Dean realised what he'd said and turned to me. "I'm sorry, I meant all the boys I fancied, not been in love with. I'm sorry. Did my words hurt you?"
"A bit, but I think I knew what you meant. Have you ever really fallen in love with another boy? I mean really fallen in love and not just fancied."
Dean was reflective for a few moments. "Just one. It was a long time ago when I was about twenty."
"Tell me about him."
"There's not much to tell really. I was walking through a large shop and a boy came towards me with his mother. He was about your age. He had brown eyes like you. Our eyes met, just like yours and mine did, and I fell in love with him. When we'd passed, I turned and he was looking at me. Later, I went into a coffee shop for a drink, sat down, looked up and there he was sitting at the table next to mine and he was looking directly at me. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't keep our eyes off each other. Then he went to the toilet, and when they left, he made sure he was behind his mother and he looked at me in a sort of pleading way and threw a piece of paper on my table as he passed."
I was really intrigued now. "What was it?"
"It was a note. It said: `I really like you. If you like me, ring me and we'll meet.' It had his name and telephone number and a kiss on it."
"What was his name? What did you do?"
"It didn't have his surname, just `Harry' and the telephone number."
Dean shrugged. "I rang it three times. Twice it was his mother who answered and the third was probably his father. All I could say was `can I speak to Harry?' and when they asked who I was, I had to try and bluff my way, but just saying I was his friend wasn't enough. On the last occasion, the bloke said he'd get the police onto me if I rang again, so that was it."
"The stupid sod! Why didn't he put his address on the note? You could have hung around there and perhaps met him that way. I was feeling sorry for him, but now I'm angry." I couldn't help what I did next. I took Dean's hand and held it tightly.
Dean pressed it back. "Steady on fella, it was just not to be. I'm a great believer in fate."
I was still angry. "Fate my arse! He did my Dean out of a special kind of loving because he was as thick as pigshit. He didn't deserve you, the thick sod. I hope he ended up with the ugliest bloke on earth."
Dean was laughing now. "There is one good thing that came out of it, I was never anyone else's but yours. Can we leave it now, please?"
I was about to retort that we couldn't bloody well leave it, but decided not to say any more. Perhaps it was best, I was still very angry at what Dean had told me. We reached his car and waited for mum and dad to catch up with us. I went with Dean and we all met on the site car park, walked to the caravan and tents together and then showered and went for a meal and a few drinks at the clubhouse. When we walked back behind mum and dad, I linked Dean's arm. Dean said good night and I kissed them both and they went in. I didn't even bother going to my own tent. I'd already chucked my pillows and sleeping bag and airbed in Dean's tent before we went to the club.
I lay back and watched my lover zip up the tent and he came beside me, put an arm under me and drew me to him. I put my arms around his neck and our lips came together. The kiss was long and soft and searching. Dean broke the kiss and I felt his fingers following the contours of my face.
"What are you thinking Dean?"
"I was just thinking how much I love you Matthew Lloyd. When I first saw you at the shop, I was thinking how sexy you were, but now I've got to love you, there's much more to it. I can't describe in words how I feel about you. I can only express it when I kiss you or by doing what I'm doing now."
Dean's words echoed my own thoughts. "I know. I feel the same. The thing that's surprised me most is we're not just about sex. I always thought that's what it was all about: just sex. Really, if I'm honest, that's all I wanted. But it isn't like that with you and me. Would it be better if it was just sex?"
"It wouldn't be so complicated if it was."
"Is `complicated' bad?"
"No. It's just complicated."
I giggled. "I know, but I like it being complicated. Do you?"
Dean kissed my nose. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, it's too late now. I've fallen in love with you and complications can go to hell. Shall we make love?"
I thought about Dean's question for a short while. "Do you mind if we don't. I want to make love with you without having sex. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes, I know what you mean. Can I kiss you?"
For an answer, I offered my lips to him and he caressed them with his own. More soft kisses: exploratory kisses. Dean sucked the saliva from my tongue and swallowed it. I did the same to him and then I gathered as much saliva as I could and fed it to him slowly. He swallowed it all and then did the same for me. We drank in the love we had for each other. It was such a beautiful moment that I began to cry. Dean didn't speak: he kissed away my salty tears and let me sob my love for him.
When the worst was over, he whispered softly to me. "Shall we go to sleep like this, in each other's arms, knowing we love each other?"
"Yes please. That's exactly what I want. I love you Dean Sorrenson more than you'll ever know, and in the future, whenever we think about each other, I want this to be the moment we remember. This will be our shared memory above all others. Will you promise me that?"
I felt Dean's body begin to shake. My words had touched him deeply. He didn't speak, but I felt his head nod in acquiescence to my request. I snuggled into the man I loved. It had been a long day, but without doubt, the best day of my life.