Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 07:48:11 +0000 From: Cal Nowl Subject: catching-the-coach 3rd instalment Hi guys, thanks again for all your support. The last segment was pretty straight forward and purely sex based. This segment has no sex in it but for all you readers who are longing to get more out of the characters, this is for you. This taps into a few revelations on what Drew, the narrator, is going through at this point. It also has expands slightly on Vance and Peter. I just continue to write and I feel like after 6 pages of text and dialog I still have nothing more than I did when I started. But this is a good stopping point and very dramatic. I call this chapter "Breaking Points" in the Catching the Coach series. I hope that you people enjoy this as much as the sex. I feel like the story is getting to be pretty complex and found it unfair to not to build the dynamic complexity of the characters as well. Please continue to give me feedback. Thanks so much, Calbin Life was out of control. What had I become?...... At first, confusing as this all was, it was kind of an adventure. It was really hot and mildly dangerous, now it was becoming a reality I was all too uncomfortable with. I felt like a drug addict trapped in a world I had somehow managed to create. I was numb and somber walking the 5 blocks home. It was just now 4 o'clock. My brain was swimming around in my head. I felt a little numb, form shock, form doubt. See what they don't tell you is that sex, sex can fuck you up. I had always been a good kid. Abstaining from sexual activity, and taking pride in the fact that I did so. I wasn't easy. I realize now that It made me feel almost better than everyone else. Of course I had fantasies and behind a locked door and in front of a computer screen, I was probably nastier than the worst of them. But somehow that didn't count. Somehow my clean image more than satisfied any longing to feel special. I was intelligent and charming and that was enough. Now that I had crossed the barrier between fantasy and reality, I realized, fantasy was much better. Because after the fantasy was over, you could still sleep each night and wake up in the morning and live with your self. I had become somewhat of a whore. Now I know that in most of your minds I was just a teen experimenting with sex: Innocent and simple. But I had higher standards for myself. I was better than that. And this situation was far from innocent and simple. You see. Lurking behind my poise and charming exterior was something far less put together and sure. I was insecure. I was very out there but also had some inner bits that never showed and this level of mystery made me feel more ok with myself. This experience it seemed had ripped a huge hole in me and all my mysteries were leaking out. Numbness is all I can feel now. Thinking about it. I didn't really enjoy the sex. I just wanted to feel like a success. Like I was desired and that I was good in the sack. If I was going to loose something it had better be worth it. I had better be the best fuck anyone had ever had. It was true. I was a whore. And I saw no end in site. Now it seemed the fun was over before it started. I was feeling shitty about my actions and more than that. I may not even have time to heal on my own. I had a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realized once again that there was another party involved. And the worst part was I didn't know who or what terror it might cause. I made it to my house and just threw my bag in the porch and sat on the swing. I had no idea where to go from here. I needed to tell someone so bad. I thought I was going to explode. I began to cry. Every tear felt like cold wet knife slicing my face up. I wanted to badly to just let them roll, but they began to itch as they neared my chin. Wiping off the pain so obviously expressed on my skin. I began to once again feel the numbness creep over me. I just wished I could hold coach Wells have his strong embrace tell me that things would be ok. This was so fucked up. I managed to momentarily gather my senses and lift myself off the swing and go inside. "Honey?" "Yea, mom" "Your father is working late tonight, and I don't feel like cooking. Will you go pick up pizza." I just wanted to collapse and sleep for a year. "Yea, I guess so mom" "What's wrong, did everything go ok at school today?" "Yea mom, I'm just really tired." "Are you sick, you are acting so stranger." "No mom, I'm fine, just call the pizza place so I can get home" "O K, I can tell everything is just fine. I'll leave you alone though." I hopped into my super ultra cool 1995 navy caddy. My grand mother gave it to me and my parents decided that it was best for me to drive around a dependable yet ugly car for a few years just so that I would appreciate a new cool car when the day came. I rarely drove it, only when I had to. Not because it was ugly. After all high school is the only time you can have a terrible car and still be cool, it was almost expected. I rarely drove it because I lived only a few block from the school and these days were filled with school and football practice and sleep accept for on the weekend in which I was out with friends in their car if we were going anywhere. And there were a lot of places around town I could walk easily and rather enjoyed it when the weather was nice. And September was the perfect time to walk during the afternoons. Morning and nights were cold but for 5 blocks not unbearable. I drove the 2 miles to the pizza place where we always ordered pizza. The Pizza Joint, haha, that name always made me laugh because most of the guys who worked there were pot heads so it was such a fitting name. One of those workers was none other than Vance. "DREW DOG!" "Vance dog!" "What up buddy?.... hey u missed practice today." "Yea, detention!" "right, right" It was almost 5 now and Vance had just arrived at work for the evening shift after practice. "You know coach is gonna tear your ass up tomorrow during practice!" My heart stopped. I looked at him for a couple of seconds before I realized what he was talking about. Coach makes us run if we miss practices. Especially for detention. "Yea, I don't care... I'll be fine" "Dude, what's your deal you are so bummed and pissed acting lately." "Nothing man, I just have a lot going on lately." "Ok man, well you should think about going out to the lake Friday night like I said. The cheerleaders are doing some stupid sleepover shit. I would stick around and see if I could get Tess to sneak out but im kinda pissed at her right now, im not sure what we are. She so freaked out on me the other night. I wanted to do it and she said she didn't feel like it and when I tried again she so punched my in the side and called me a dick. She totally left me there all horny and sad. Bitch!" "Yea, Totally" I said with a sarcastic tone "Fine then Drew make fun of me. All I know is that the boys are going out to have a good time full of testosterone and no estro...a... " "Estrogen Vance, its Estrogen" "yea that stuff... And we are going with or without you." "Ok man look, ill probably go but I'm not making any promises." "Yahooo, yea... its gonna fuckin rock." "What ever, just give me the damn pizza I ordered." "Gladly sir, One sausage and one Pep. Extra cheese on both, medium and hand tossed will there be anything else." "NO!" "13.06" "Thanks" "See ya Drew" It was always so rude to Vance. I liked him really I did, but he was the type that you almost had to be rude to just to keep from punching him in the face. He was an idiot, and that was fine, but I can be so patient with an idiot before I really get annoyed. Most days he was cool though and he never seemed to take offense to my bitchiness, I think he knew that I really like him and also that he was way too much for most people to handle. I pulled into the driveway. Walked inside and threw the keys and pizza on the table. Opened up the box and took 3 slices. "MOM!... THE PIZZA IS HERE." "OK hun, just leave it on the table... Oh your coach called and said that you need to comeo down to the school as soon as possible, he needs to see you. I told him you would be right along." "Which coach mom?" "Im not sure, I think it started with a W" "Uahh... Coach White or Wells" "Yea hon" "Mom which one?" "I dint know just go see" Great! I had no idea what this was about or what I was about to get myself into. I robotically shoved the rest of the pizza down and walked out the door. Arriving at the school I saw no truck, but the coaches office light was on. I entered the gym and once again walked to the end where the coaches door was shut. I knocked. "Yes?" "It's a ...Drew Miles..." "Come on in" I shut my eyes for a sec and then pushed open the door and say no one... I walked in and around the corner. "Drew!" I nearly shit myself. It was Peter. "Pete,... What the hell." "Sit down Drew." "Whats going on?" "Sit the fuck down!.... now!" I did as I was told, almost instinctively. And what else would I have done. Instinct was all I had left. My head sure as hell was not there. "Care to explain to me what the fuck is going on Drew?" "I... uh... " "Yea" "Peter you are the one calling me up here pretending to be a coach. You tell me what the Fuck is going on" "Oh now were are getting brave... look I was here today" shit I thought... It was peter "Don't even try to make an excuse... I know what I saw... it was steamy in here but I know what I saw" "Look Pete!" "Fucking save it... I watched you fuck the shit out of someone and I want to know who it was." I was floored... Relieved... but only for a moment... Pete saw enough to know it was me but Coach White was so close to our ages that he could have been any of the other guys at our school. "And why the hell didn't you tell me you were gay... Dude we have been tight for so long now... I would have been totally cool with it. Hell... I've even thought about jerking one out with you a time or two." I couldn't believe what I was hearing... It was too much to process... all too weird and too fast... I was relieved that half of my secret was safe but I was having to deal with the other half and wait... did he just was he wanted jerk off with me. "Pete, look. You have to understand that you just scared the shit out of me and now you are outing me and telling me that you want to jerk off with me. You have to understand how odd this is for me." "Ha ha, I have a gay friend, its pretty new and odd for me too." "Look Pete. I'm not ready to talk about this now. Please please keep all this a secret. I will fill you in on it soon I promise but I cant right now." "Well that's just not going to do" Peter said as he stepped closer. Face to face with me. I was sitting on a tale backed against the wall with no where to go. "Pete, ... I" "What's the matter you don't want me. Common man, your gay that's cool. I'm kinda toying with the idea myself. We're both hot and there's no one else here... tell me you don't want it." "Pete it's not that... I just can't do this right now." "What... Too tired from fucking that guys brains out today... common,... who was it?" "Pete, look... you are hot ok and we can talk about all this later, but right now I just can't" "Fine, Drew, ... what good is having a gay friend if you can't get a little action when ever you want huh...?" I was stunned, confused, and a bit outraged at that statement. I leaped up from the table and pushed Peter against the lockers behind him. "Pete you don't know fucking anything. You don't know me. You don't know what is going on here. Don't fucking act like you do." Terror swept Pete's face... We both stood there me holding him by the shirt collar. I let go and all of the sudden I felt my nose burn and my eyes start to glaze over. They began to swell. I fell into Pete and slid down him onto the floor. Pete had no idea what was going on. He had called me there assuming he would get to mess around a little. What he got was to see one of his best friends have a break down right there in front of him; right there at his feet. "Drew I ... " He knelt down and awkwardly placed his hands on my shoulder. All I could do was sob. I then pulled him close and wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. "I'm so fucked up man... My world is falling apart around me... Everything is so complicated." Peter could find words to save his life. He just held me there and he realized that this was serious. This was not a game. His attempts to play around with me had brought on a melt down that he was not prepared for. His eyes began to fill with tears as well and still no words came. Pete rested against the lockers with my arms wrapped around his torso and my face in his chest for several minutes. I slowly rose to my feet wiping the tears from my face from the second time today. I just left him there stunned in the floor and walked out to the office, then the gym, them home. No doubt Peter stayed there on the floor until her was sure I was gone. I'm sure at that point he knew that he was unready for the information that he so desperately wanted to know earlier. He had gotten a taste of how fucked up I was and was not so ready to dive into that just yet. Pete would know in time the fullness of the tangled web that had been woven over the past week. But before that, the web would grow much larger and complex.