Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2007 04:22:03 -0400 (EDT) From: Pear III David Subject: Crash Survivor Chapter 5 CRASH SURVIVOR By Drake General Disclaimer and copyrights: This is just a fantasy work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons or places is a coincidence. If you aren't old enough to read this in your country, don't read. If it's a criminal offence to read this in your country, don't read. If male to male relationships and sexuality offend you, don't read. If you think the story will be lame and boring, don't read it. All rights reserved. NOTE: All right folks, we're near summer holidays! Things are a little hectic here and I'm busy as hell trying to conclude some projects at work before leaving for the short vacation. I hope you all readers won't mind if I get behind schedule with the story. I'm leaving for more than two weeks for a wild camping trip, kind of survival one... I'll continue the story as soon as I get back. I'd like to thank everyone who wrote me about this story. Your sweet comments really touch my heart. That's the pay you gave for the poor little author I am! ;-) I really appreciate. I hope you'll still like the story as I took a particular attention to avoid falling into an easy tale. I would like to thanks readers who have suggested some very interesting ideas, I'll probably use them. Since we are in the "thanks" area, I would like to "thanks" David of Hope my editor. He's doing a great job, correcting my crappy English, suggesting some modifications for the text and wrapping everything's up so you have a wonderful story to read. (Oh my... I'm so conceited... sometimes it's scaring me!) I could tell that he's doing a lot of great work on the story. I wouldn't be able to do it without him. So, I think we should applause him for everything he did so far. So until I'll get back, I wish all of you good holidays! Don't forget to take some time to be with your friends and relatives. Cheers, Drake >From last chapter: Slowly, each with our minds in an invisible turmoil, we drifted quickly into a sleep we really needed. Before I opened my eyes again, I awoke, first by a loud screech that vibrated through my body, then by the movement of Wil as he disentangled himself from my left side, then a piercing squawk, and finally by Wil's yelling. "GREG! MATT! WAKE UP! FUCK! WAKE UP!" It only took an instant, before my eyes popped opened to this barrage of new sounds and I bounced up to the sitting position pulling Matt up with me. We'd just rubbed against a rock. My panic mode set in. I jumped to my knees quickly; almost tossing Matt aside, brushed by Wil, and grabbed the paddle to push us away from the jagged rock that protruded from the water. Once again, a bit of luck was on our side - the rock hadn't ripped the skin of the raft. I kept twisting my torso back and forth slowly, looking at the area around the raft, raising my eyes slowly with each turn of my body, looking for more rocks, until I was finally looking at the horizon. The sun was huge as it started its morning rise above the water. Then I slowly twisted to the opposite direction listening to the chorus of squawking seagulls. "Oh my God..." I whispered. At first I wondered if the bright sun was playing tricks on me or was I still having a dream that just came into my conscious mind. "Wow!" Matt exclaimed quietly as he too stared in the same direction. It wasn't much to look at, but there, just barely visible on the horizon, still many miles away, was a long green line. I whispered again, "Boys, we have hope...." -------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5 "God I wish Jake was here to see this," Matt said as his lower lip trembled. I grabbed him quickly, because I knew he was going to go into a crying jag again, and I didn't want him to be sick to his stomach again. The three of us held steadfast in a group hug as we tested our stamina against the guilt that each of us felt. Wil was the first to break the embrace and start yelling for Jake. We joined him in a flash, yelling until we were out of breath, but didn't get any answer. We were staring at each other, I could feel the tension between us, because no one really wanted to choose between going back to find Jake, and going as fast as possible to the safety of the land. It was obvious that the right choice was to go to the land, but I wasn't the one that should appear to make that decision. I wondered for a little time, being unable to decide to leave Jake out there. I'd have been ashamed to look Matt; into the depth of his beautiful eyes if I had to announce the right decision. With the sad look he already had, it would have killed him little by little. No one was saying anything until Matt started to speak slowly, being aware to choose the right words for the circumstance. Curiously, instead of talking to us, he spoke to his friend, lost in ocean. "Jake... I dunno if ya can hear me or not..." he started. Then through some sobbing in his voice, he continued, "I don't even know if you're still alive. I hope you'll forgive me. It's clear that we won't be able to find you." Pointing toward nowhere in the ocean, he exclaimed, "It's too huge, we don't know where to start, where to go..." He tried to calm down unsuccessfully and started to cry, trying to speak between each sobs. "Jake... forgive me... I hope you'll still... still love me... I wanna be with you... You're the only one I... I ever... The only way I can be with you is to join you where you are..." Then without warning he stood up, climbed over the raft's wall and jumped into the water, swimming away from the raft. "Hey YOU STUPID ASS, what the fuck are you doing!!!!!" I heard Wil yell at Matt as I jumped into the water to pull him back. I tried to get near Matt as quick as possible, but this kid was strong and a fast swimmer, even if he was exhausted like I was. "MATT!!!" I yelled. "Wait for me, MAAAATT!!!" Then I understood why he was so fast when I came across his flotation vest. Shit, this was getting frightening, he was already too worn out to withstand this pace for long. If I couldn't reach him within a few moments, he'd sink like a stone. I don't know what happened, but I think the fear of losing him more than anything gave me a kind of superhuman strength I never knew I had because with all the strength I could muster, I was able get near him in a second! I grabbed him just as he was about to choke with the water curling into his mouth; he was unable to keep his head out of the water to breath properly. I grabbed him under his armpits, bolt locking my hands in front of his chest, and pulled his head out of the water, just enough so he would catch his breath. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!" he yelled me after a couple of coughs. "MATT!! Don't even think it!" I replied. "Let me go!! Lea... Leave ME you fucking asshole!! I wanna d... DIE!!!!" he told angrily, trying to extricate himself from my grip. "No, you won't young man!! That angered me. All the adrenaline I had grabbing Matt was now directed to enforcing that anger. "MATT! JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled. I hung fast with a near death grip around his chest. Then I started to swim, kicking only with my legs. Matt tried to swing his legs to stop mine, but I just gave a little squeeze to his chest with my arms to make it clear that he wasn't going to get away from me. "Ouch, that hurt you fuckin' bastard! Stop it!!" He spat. That enraged me more. If my hands had been free, I'd have swatted him across the face. I couldn't waste any strength talking - I had to get him back in the raft. I knew he was in a real distress, but I'd never let him talk to anyone like this. There was lesson to be taught and learned, but first I had to get to the raft. I didn't answer him, and acted like I hadn't heard anything. I turned my head over to see where I was going. I saw Wil in the raft, paddling toward us, so I started kicking my legs with as much strength as I could, causing Matt to whine again. "No... I don't wanna go!" "JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled in his ear; I was getting exhausted and the pain in my legs was increasing. Matt kept his mouth shut, but I could see that he was mad at me. I think he was mad about everything. Since the crash, all of our whole life has changed, we were tired, eating and drinking only to survive, but probably not enough to keep our minds clear and balanced. It was showing on all of us. I was too stressed by this last event to be able to talk to Matt intelligently, so I made it a point to wait and see, then to talk with him calmly when we'd recouped some strength. I swam for a couple of minutes when I heard Wil near me. "Here Greg, I'm here" I looked in the direction of the voice to see a relieved Wil gently smiling with tears in his eyes. We were about five feet from the raft, just a few more kicks and we were there. "Matt... Mattt... Maa-aat!" Wil said. "What!!!" he raged out. "Come on, dude, give me your hand, I'll pull you in." "In your dream..." "Hey! Quit bein' a prick! What the fuck is wrong with you? Get your fuckin' ass in here. NOW!" Wil sounded just as angry as I'd been when I was trying to swim back to the raft. "Gimme your hand!" ""Sorry guys, but I'm starting to be a little tired here and I don't want to be a shark's TV Dinner so... NOW Matt!" I exclaimed. "You take Wil's hand and you climb in the raft, period. I don't want anymore whining or arguments, is it that clear?" Matt nodded his head as I released my grip slightly. "We'll talk about this later, when we're safe and relaxed." Then Matt raised softly, his hand in the air, without making too much effort. Wil took his arm in a firm grip and pulled him inside as I pushed him out of the water. Wil wanted to comfort his friend as soon as he was safe in the boat, but instead, Matt turned his back to him and went to the opposite side of the raft, rolling himself into a fetal position then closed his eyes. With one last heave of strength, I swung myself out of the ocean and into the raft, where Wil grabbed my waist with a death-grip embrace. "Thanks Greg, I wouldn't want him to die too... even if he's actin' and thinkin' crazy," he said with a sad, but relieved look. Then he added, "Sorry for bad mouthing Matt... I'd never have said those things to him normally, but I did it on purpose to give him a taste of his own medicine..." "Shhhhh... That's OK William... You did very well." I released him from our embrace, stood up and walked over to Matt. With renewed anger, I grabbed his arm and lifted him until he was standing before me. Holding both of his upper arms, I spoke firmly with an emphasis on each word. "Don't ever try to call me asshole or bastard again or I'll rip you apart then roast your butt piece by piece AND I MEAN IT! Is it clear Matt?" "Whatever!" he replied in a devilishly off-handed manner. "WHAT!!!??" I howled back. "Ok... Please Greg, let me go..." "NO! Not until you realize the value of the love and caring that it takes to live in this world." Although I wanted to shake some sense into his head, I didn't - I just held fast to his arms. "You're not the only one who liked Jake," Wil interjected. "It's a big loss for all of us. It doesn't give you the right to kill yourself and treat us like shit, dumbass!!! Look, I'm angry too, I wish that nothing had happened to Jake, that he'd be in this raft tickling our toes like he always did, but it's not gonna happen. We have to get over it, which means continuing to stay alive and being able to remember him!" "That's easy for you, you NEVER liked him in your whole fucking life!!" Matt retorted with disgust in his voice. "You're so wrong!! I never expressed anything toward him because I never expressed anything toward anyone before. I was too shy, you should know that by now!! You were the only one I was able to rely on, only because you never judged me. Not until today, you piece of shit!!!" I could tell that Wil was mad about Matt's recent attitude, but he was right. Matt was too depressed to work his mind into rational thought. Normally, they'd have never said those things to each other. The tension was palpable, so to try to put everyone at ease, I said, "Matt, I don't want any apology for the things you said; I know that you're sad and angry, but trying to kill yourself won't solve anything at all. It's just putting all of us in a dangerous position. Right now, I don't want you to talk, but I do want you to take Wil's advice because he's right. You're being a little selfish here. You're not the only one that loved Jake! I might add that if Jake was ever your lover, it doesn't give you the right to shit on everyone who's caring about you..." Matt nodded silently, unconscious of the big slip I just made. "Matt, I'm not kidding.... we ARE in a dangerous predicament. If I were alone right now, I doubt I'd be able to survive because I only have two eyes. If it were only Wil and I, we'd have double the chance of survival because we'd have four eyes and energies to make use of. With the three of us, our chances are triple what they would have been if it were just one of us. Matt, you see how much we need you." I released his arms and pulled him into a heart-felt embrace. His response told me I was getting through to him. "Matt, I love you and selfish as it sounds, you and Wil are the most precious people in my life. What you have to realize is that the taking of your own life is the denial of that love. Think about it..." My legs started shaking from the aching strain of standing and I fell to my knees, still holding Matt. "....what love does a terrorist have for himself or anyone else when he goes into a restaurant and blows himself up together with a lot of other innocent people? God? I doubt that was God's choice. Maybe that's why I'm not a deeply religious person... man isn't using the intelligence, love and ability to love that God endowed him with. Maybe that's why I love you and Wil so much. You cared enough to save my life, rather than let it be taken." "I love you too Greg," Matt said resting his head against my chest, "and I love Wil too. Without Jake, I have such a pain." He yawned and closed his eyes. I rolled him off me and laid him against the wall of the raft. I rested back on my haunches as I watched his breathing settle to a shallow deep sleep. Suddenly, I too felt the exhaustion. "Greg," Wil said quietly, "what you said... I didn't realize it until you said it... suicide is never the answer. When you guys were in the water, I realized that I wouldn't have made it on my own. I was really scared. You gotta know... I love you too." "I know you do Wil. I meant every word I said. Now, let's get some rest, I'm so exhausted!" I replied. I took a quick glance to Matt who was now snoring. God, it would give us some time to recover! "You can rest if you want, but I think I'll keep a eye to him." he said pointing in the direction of Matt." And I need to inflate the raft before we sink and I think I'll paddle toward the land. I don't want the water current to push us away!" "You're so sweet Wil, I really thank you... You're sure you have enough energy to paddle?" I started to be concerned about his physical strength because between all the kids, Wil was the one who had the more baby fat on his belly and right now it was showing a significant sign of undernourishment, his rib bones starting to show a little more than usual. "Yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, you two are too weak to do it, so I will, then you can have the next turn..." "Ok Wil... I'll take a short rest... Really thanks!" I added in a relieved voice. I sure wanted to paddle to the land, but because of the swimming session I just finished, I was too exhausted for any task that needed some muscular effort. "Hmm, Greg?" Wil started. I started to think with a panicked mind, "Now, I'm in a deep shit. He knows... He'll ask it. Ok, I just have to fake sleeping. No... he'll ask one day or another... Shit, me and my big mouth! What should I say? Oh, I just have to say... No.. I just... If ever he... Damn, what the hell will I say?" "Gre-eg?" he said cutting my thinking. "Y... yes?" I said hesitantly, a little embarrassed. "Hmm, you said Jake... I mean Matt... uh... that Jake was Matt's... hmm?" "What do you mean?" I tried to reply, nearly avoiding the real question. "You said that Jake was Matt's lover... Is it true?" "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It just slipped out..." I told him ashamedly as I felt. "Oh... I knew it!! I was pretty darn sure about them!" he said happily. "Shit, it just slipped out of my mouth. You shouldn't have known it from me. Matt was supposed to tell you. But now..." "Don't be worried... I won't tell him that you told me or that you let it slip out. I don't think Matt even noticed.... he was too far out of it. I don't think he'll have a clue. I'll just bring up the subject on the sly some time. He won't suspect you'd talk to me..." "You don't hate gays like you always say you do?" I asked. "Naaaa!" It's just that I was unsure about Matt and Jake, so I tried them to come out by pushing a little. The trick I tried was to talk dirty about the gays and everything, hoping that it would get them mad and they'd start talkin' about it. But, as time went on, they didn't do or say anything, but I got used to saying those kind of remarks for no reason at all. Then I just never thought it was true!" He added chuckling. "Glad to hear it!" I said a little relieved. Then sadly, he added, "It's just not fair that they have to be separated forcefully just at the moment they'd have been able to live openly without being harassed..." "Yeah, I had the same thought... But..." then I was cut short. "Greg..." "What kiddo?" "Why can't I cry for Jake? I like him a lot too, even if it doesn't looks like it. But I can't cry... is it because I'm still sure he's alive?" "You think he's still alive?" "Yeah Greg... I'm pretty sure. I dunno why, but I can feel it." "It makes sense. I think that's the right attitude to have. Maybe the fact that you think he's probably alive, may prevent you from being as sad as Matt is." "Yeah...?" "Talking of Matt, we'll have to be careful with him. I think he may try again to do something stupid. We'll always have to keep an eye to him. Plus, the way he acted with me... shit. I really don't want him to know that I told you about..." "Greg, don't worry." Wil reassured me. "I won't stand in the way of what you have with Matt. He's pretty fragile right now. I know it's kind of special for him and I know he needs you. He told me that his father had been in prison for beating him. I don't know why his father beat him like that, but I'm sure it's about Matt's sexuality. I've always been sure about that fact... Matt was too vague with that episode of his life every time I'd introduced the subject, so I suspected it could be related. Now, you're the only father figure he can count on since the death of Mr. Jackson. In the short time we'd been all together, I can tell Matt changed a lot because of you." "You're nearer the truth without knowing anything about it Wil... I could say you know Matt better than if he was your real brother!" "Yeah, Matt's like my brother sometimes... but right now, he scares the shit out of me!" "I can understand that Wil... right now, Matt is overwhelmed with the lost of his lo... lover." I hesitated... but I continued, "however I think a good talk with him will help both all of us." "Yeah, I might talk to him too... I'll try to think of something to let him know how I feel." Wil replied. "Ok then! Now, if you don't mind, I'll take a short nap to recover a little." "Yeah sure, I'll do the motoring in the meantime!" Wil added. "Funny, very fun-ny..." I said with my best discouraged look, but hiding a whole grin inside. I was relieved that Wil showed no concern about Matt's sexuality. Wil's surprized me each time I talked with him. He's so different inside from the outside. He always seems to be the odd one out in the group, but when you grow to know him, he's really a sweet kid. Another thing good for us was that he seemed to care about Matt's condition. Jake was his friend too, but Wil put his feelings aside so he could be of any help with Matt. Maybe it was his way to express his compassion. Anyway, as I pushed those thoughts around in my brain, I drifted again to sleep. Damn, despite the fact that we are trying to survive, sleeping in a raft is an experience, it's always rocking back and forth and from side to side. The light gurgle and splash caused by the waves moving under the boat is hypnotizing. You feel always like you have to sleep. I slept for a while until I was awakened by something abnormal again. I might say that there was something missing. Is it Jake? No, I already knew he'd disappeared, so it's not him. More and more, I became aware of the situation, but I was still too sleepy and muscle-numb to be able to think properly. Then all of a sudden... "ROCKING!!!!" I exclaimed loudly. "The raft isn't rocking!!!" then I opened my eyes wide. We were on the land! I looked around to see that Matt was still asleep in the raft, but Wil was nowhere to be found. I jumped to a standing position, pausing to gain some equilibrium. I could tell that I was walking with a bit of a stagger when I got out of the raft. It was as if I expected the ground to move up and down like the water had been doing for the past four days. I fell on my knees and grabbed a handful of sand in my hands. Then I started to laugh uncontrollably. I was so relieved to be touching the solid earth again, wherever it is! I gave another look around. The raft was beached under the shadow of a small bush from an unknown kind right in front of me. Many of our things were laying on the sand around me. That meant that Wil had probably placed them there. I wondered if we had landed on an atoll, an island or maybe with some luck, in a populated area. The landscape was amazing. From the way it looked, I was pretty sure we were still in a tropical area. From what I could deduct from the discoloration of the sand, we were on a sandy shore that was about a hundred feet deep at low tide and a little more than thirty feet from the forest line at high tide. If there was no population nearby, it would give us enough room to install a base camp. When looking in the direction of the ocean, we had a big rocky formation that protruded into the water at the left; our raft was located near it on the sand. The rock would come handy to cut the winds and act as a breakwater if we ever needed it. To the right, the shore continued almost flat without any interruption to a vanishing point near the horizon. Behind us was the edge of a large tropical forest. The botanical diversity was unknown to me. We were surrounded by some bushes, small bamboos, and big tall trees, some were palms, with a bunch of nuts on them. For sure we were still in the tropics. I didn't know if the nuts would be edible because they were too high to be recognizable, but at least I'd give a try. Would we be able to eat something from the nature here? Is there a way to get some drinking water? My mind was at a loss as it scrambled through our ability to exist here. Then I felt the presence of a small happy boy near me. "Hey Greg! We finally did it!" Wil said clinging on my waist. I returned the hug and then, looking at me with his puppy eyes, he added, "Sorry if I didn't wake you. You were sleeping so soundly... It was a piece of cake getting here. The closer we got to this place, the faster the current and the waves carried us. For the last five minutes or so, all I had to do was steer the raft into this little cove. I'm kinda glad it beached itself.... I don't think I could've dragged it on the sand with both of you in it. It seems like a bit of a shady spot so we won't get too exposed to the sun. Oh, and I unpacked the raft so everything will dry..." "Thanks Wil but... where were you just now?" I asked. "Oh, sorry... I had to pee so bad so I went in the woods. I kinda looked around the place a bit at the same time, but I didn't think it had taken that much time..." "That's OK Wil, I just want everyone to tell the others when they go to somewhere and where they go. I think the safer thing to do is to stay all together. This land is wild and strange to us and so far we don't know what dangers we may be in. We should expect to encounter some danger at anytime." "Oh, I didn't think about that..." "That's why I want us to always stay together." "Ok, it's fine with me..." Then he asked, "Is Matt's awake?" "Not yet. I think we'll let him catch some more sleep. He had a hard time, so he needs to recoup a little, I think it'll help him get into a better mood too!" "I can sure agree with that!" Wil giggled while he continued his walk toward the water. I started to think about how we would eat, drink, or protect ourselves from the elements. I contemplated the trees again; maybe some of their leaves would be big and strong enough to use as a roof on a man-made shelter. There were some bamboos all around us, it would provide us the wood to make the structure of a small refuge. The problem was to find some kind of rope to tie everything's together. We'll have to figure out something about that. I knew by for sure that clean water would be found just under my feet - otherwise, the trees wouldn't be able to survive here. The sand is a natural filter to remove the salt and impurities from the water. We'd just have to dig in the sand until we could see it, catch it with a bottle, and filter it with a sock. Problem solved, at least in theory, but not yet tried! Since we were already running out of water, I figured that the first thing to do was to try to get the theory to work, so I went near the boat, where will disposed all of our belongings, to get a couple of small plastic bottles and a sock, then I came back to where I thought would be a good spot to dig. I started to dig a hole with my bare hands until I was two feet under ground level. It was tough going as the hole got deeper, but some water appeared, so I dug a little more, then removed the cap of two bottles and put one of them in the hole to fill it up. The water was mostly brownish, but the odor seemed to be ok. Once the bottle was filled up, I removed it from the hole carefully to avoid spilling it. I put a sock over the bottle neck and started to fill up the other one with the contents from the other bottle. The water was becoming clearer! So I did the process a couple of times, cleaning the bottles and the sock each time with the ocean water. Wil had joined me during the operation to watch how I was doing and we were able to produce a full bottle of almost clear water within five minutes. I tasted it and it was very good; not even fishy tasting, warm, but good. After I gave him the heads up, Wil took some too. "God, I was thirsty!!" he exclaimed. "Yeah, me too. I'm relieved to know that we have drinkable water." "Hmm yeah..." replied Wil, a little bothered. "What's wrong son?" I asked. "I'm sooo hungry. But we have almost nothing to eat... Just a couple of cookies and that's it." "Maybe we should try to figure out if those nuts up there are edible, ya think?" I proposed. "Wait, I'll get some of them!" he said, rising quickly on his feet, ready to go. "Wil!! You won't be able to get up there! There's no way we..." "There's plenty of them on the ground, they just fall from the trees. We'll have to be careful that we don't get knocked out by when they fall!" "You sure there's some on the ground?" "Yeah, I saw them when I went in the forest to pee. There some big ones that I think are coconut. Then some of the others are of a totally different kind. They had spikes on them and they come in red, orange and green colors, but there's none of them on the ground.... but it's easy to climb on the tree to get them!" he said happily. "OK, go get some, but be cautious and stay in view, OK? I'll go to the raft to get the axe and the knife that's in the emergency kit." Then I giggled, "Hey! Be careful to not take those you peed on!" "You're nuts and your're going to get nuttier after you eat a few of them!" Wil chuckled. I was laughing as I went near the raft. I gave a quick look to Matt who was still sleeping. Hopefully, the raft was protected by the shade provided by the big rocky pier. I carefully opened the emergency pouch to avoid waking Matt and I took the axe and a knife. I got back to where we'd start our meager beginning of a campsite just as Wil was coming back with a bunch of nuts. We started with what seemed to be a coconut. We found a small flat stone that should be used as a cutting board. I put the coconut on it and gave a firm hit with the back of the axe to break it open. With the smell once it was opened, it was obviously a coconut! We drank the waterery milk in it and ate all the nut meat inside. Then we went to the other kinds of fruit, the spiky ones. We started with the green ones, but they turned out to be inedible. It had a bad sour taste. Maybe they weren't ripe yet. The orange one wasn't better, so we tried the red ones. The texture of the flesh inside the fruit was somewhat uninviting, but the taste was very good. Not too sour, too salty or sweet. It was just OK. At least we had some food so we wouldn't starve anymore. Although it was anything but a balanced diet, we had another problem solved. "Greg, I think we should wake up Matt. I'll bet he's going to be pretty darn hungry too." Wil suggested. "Yeah, and we all have to talk about our stay in this place... about him, Jake..." I said with a neutral tone. "It'll be ok Greg. He still likes you, but he's just upset about everything..." "Yeah I know kiddo..." Then I added "OK, I'll go get him... Would you mind to preparing him some food and water?" "Sure!" he said. I went to the raft and climbed aboard. Matt was still in the same fetal position. I shook him gently by his shoulder then whispered, "Matt... Matt..." "Wh... what..." he replied with a big yawn. "Wake up buddy... We've arrived!" Another big yawn "Huh?" "Open your eyes and have a look around!" I said gently, brushing his hair back with my hand. Matt opened his eyes, unaware that the raft wasn't moving. "Where's Wil?" "He's out there." I replied with a grin. "Hmm, oh... OK..." he said without thinking. Then as his brain started to clear a few of the cob webs, the expression on his face was priceless. "Out there? Where out there?" he asked in a state of startled excitement, now being more and more conscious that he was missing something. I tried to play a little with him, just to put him in a good mood. "Hmm... you know, out there like he is out... there..." I said pointing toward the wood. Matt sat like if something had bit him. I turned his head in the direction where I'd pointed. "F U C K I N' S H I T!" he exclaimed with a surprising look. "We've landed Greg, look!!!" "I already know that, I woke you up because it's time to eat!" I chuckled. "Not those stupid cookies again, is it?" he complained. "No no! Wil's preparing some new food to eat, come on, you'll see!" I added. "Ok... " Matt replied in a neutral tone. Then he became a little troubled. "I wish Jake was here, God it makes me feel so bad..." He added with some tears starting to run down his cheeks. I took him in my arms and rested my head over his. "Matt... I don't know what to tell you. You're always happy normally, and I'm not used to see you like you are right now. I know that you're upset and you're tired of all that shit we've been through, but we all do. It doesn't solve anything to kill yourself like you tried before, and it won't bring Jake back to us... and it won't be of any use if you yell at everyone. Wil and I'd give our life if it was ever possible to get Jake back, but you know that's not how things work. We have to stay strong and give Jake our energy, maybe there's some hope that he's been able to make it. Maybe he's been rescued by another boat. We don't know... " "Sorry Greg... I know I hurt your feelings... I didn't mean to... I just went crazy and I don't know why... I just wanted to join him in death, but you pulled me out. When we were still on the water, I awoke and had a long time to think. I knew that Wil was paddling, so I didn't move because I wanted to be alone. I started to think about something Mr. Jackson said to me just after he... he... you know?" "Yeah, just after he'd unhooked you, you mean?" "Hmm hmm..." he replied sadly. "Then after what you said about suicide is the denial of love, II thought it wouldn't be of any use for Jake if I tried to kill myself again. Like you said, maybe he's still alive. I dunno.... but I wish...." "I understand Matt. Do you know that I'm proud of you little boy? I wouldn't have been able to stand your death if..." "Yeah, I know... It's part of what Mr. Jackson talked me about..." "God, I'm so proud of you," I said, kissing him on his blond hair. "I love you d... dad..." he added "I love you too son!" "You're not mad at me for what I've said to you before?" he asked. "No I'm not. I did get over my anger, but it would be a big lie to say that I hadn't been hurt." I said seriously. Matt started to bawl. "I'm so sorry dad! It wasn't on purpose... I just... I just went crazy without knowing it." "Shhhh.... It's OK son..." I said, trying to sooth him. "Maybe, but I called you a.... a fucking asshole..." he added, trying to recompose himself more than anything. "It's OK. I understand that you were in a kind of trance... But don't ever think to talk me like that again Mr. Morris, is it that clear?" I interjected as if I was mad at him, trying to do my best to keep a poker face. Matt was destabilized by my answer. He seemed to melt in my arms, trying to be as little as possible. Hearing nothing more from me, he turned his head to see how upset I was. I tried to do my best to stay serious, but his expression was so innocently cute that I started to laugh aloud. "Daaad!!! You're really mean!!" he said, seeing that he'd been caught. I continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Daaaad!! Stop it!!" he said, trying to not laugh himself. Then, unable to stand it anymore, he joined me and we had a good laugh together, snorting with some tears of joy in our eyes. I took him in my arms and almost crushed him to death. God, I love this boy. Without having to explain everything to Matt, I was relieved to see that he was feeling better and that our relation was stronger than ever. Without having to talk too much about it, we both solved the problem caused by Jake's loss. Matt did a lot of thinking about himself, about Jake, about life in general. I should tell that he is a very mature lad for his age. Yeah, I was really proud of him. After a couple of minute enjoying being in that embrace, we got up and went back to where Wil and I had set up camp. Wil hadn't wasted any time while I was talking to Matt. He'd filled six bottles full of water and put them in the sand so they'd stay cool. He'd prepared Matt's lunch and sat down on the sand to wait for us. As soon as we arrived, Wil looked at Matt, then at me with a questioning look. Seeing my approbation, he stood up and took Matt in his arms. Surprisingly to me, he gave a quick peck on Matt's cheek and said, "You gotta know that we love you Matt". Matt looked Wil's face and, with some water in his eyes, he returned the hug to his friend, stroking Wil's back. Soon after, we all sat down in silence. Matt ate slowly, but was unsure about the water. Slowly, he tried it and little by little he drank the entire bottle. When Matt finished eating, we cleaned up the area, put everything back near the raft. Wil had made up quite a good-sized stock of coconuts and fruit. As the boys were chatting a little bit, I thought it would be a good idea to solve our lodging problem. I told the boys I'd be near by, trying to construct a little shelter for all of us. They wanted to help me, but it was the first time in more than, wow, four days that I'd be able to be all alone. Not that I'm that selfish, but I needed some peace, and some space to concentrate without a boys' face in mine. Some time, some space to reflect and maybe gain some more of that invisible inner strength. I really was only about six yards away from them, so it wasn't difficult to overhear their conversation in case they became upset with each other. The boy installed themselves comfortably, digging a hole and using the sand to form two easy chairs. It looked like the only things missing were the TV set and a remote control! It wasn't long before the boys resumed their chat. "I'm sorry Wil, I was so stupid. I acted like a jerk..." "It's ok, it's all but forgotten. Just remind me to not make you mad!" Wil chuckled. "Ok!" Matt joined with some laughter of his own. "Hmm... Matt..." "Yeah, what?" "Hmm, I... I... don't, do you... no... Is it... Shit!! I can't..." "What the hell are you talking about? Did you learn to talk on another planet?" Matt laughed. "Mattttt! It's just that I'm very uncomfortable talking about something right now... Don't laugh, it's serious!" "OK, pfffffffffff He! He! Hee!" Matt giggled, trying to stay serious, but just couldn't do it. "Mattt Geeze!!!" "OK, OK. I'll stop" "Matt, it's just that I heard you saying something..." "What is it dude?" "Hmm... I can't... sorry... forget it..." "Hey, it's OK Wil, I won't get mad, I promise!" Wil hesitated for a moment, then he let it out all. "OK... It's just... It's just you said that Jake loved you..." "Yeah, and what's the point? I love you too. You love me, we love Greg, so....?" "No, that's not what I mean. It's just the way you're together... You're like... and you said that you guys liked to be nude sometimes... Matt, is there's something special between you two?" Wil finally asked. "Uh... Wil... I don't wanna ..." Matt started to say. "Sorry Matt... I don't want to rag on you, but...hmm.... you know?" Wil gave Matt a quick look. Matt thought better, but said rather unwillingly, "Yeah, there's something a little special... but maybe more though." "He's your lover right?" Wil said. "Hmm yeah... How'd you know?" Matt said is head looking down. "It's as clear as the nose on your face!" Wil chuckled. "Then why did you say all those mean gay things to us if you knew?" He replied. "I dunno... I think I just didn't know how to make you guys come out to me. I didn't really want it to sound as if I was accusing you..." Wil said. "I just wasn't sure about you two and I tried everything to make you mad by bad mouthing gays... I told myself that if ever you were both gays, you'd have wanted to beat the crap out of me!! I was so dumb! I tried anytime anywhere, but you guys did nothing...." "I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me anymore if I'd told you about Jake and me! I really thought you hated gays for real. I didn't tell you on purpose because I didn't want to lose your friendship. Without being selfish, that was more important to me." Matt said. "That's OK... Now, I understand. You've been going out together for almost one year, right?" "Yeah, how did you find out?" "Because you both changed at the same time. Always smiling to each other, almost slipping by nearly holding hands, but avoiding it at the last second..." "What, you saw it!?!?! Everyone would know it by now at school!!" "No... There's no way they could find out. Only Jason Mitchell and me had suspected it. It's just because we know both of you very well." "Oh, you and Jason had a talk about that?" "Often! We tried to figure out how to ask you, or how to make either of you come out to us. It wasn't easy because we don't have any classes together since Jason's a year older than all of us. We kept trying, but nothing worked. You're can really be a stubborn little prick sometimes!" Wil said with a big smile. "No, I'm not stubborn!?!" Matt grinned. "Hmm, Matt?" "What, William Paterson?" "Oh, stop it! Will ya?" "Ok, I'm serious now... What?" "Does it hurt?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, when he shove... when he shoves it up in your ass?" "Hey, that's kinda personal man!" "Oh, OK sorry. I was just wondering... anyway..." Wil was uncomfortable with the silence that followed. Not by what's Matt answered, but more because he thought he had pushed his luck too far and his friend wouldn't give him any confidences again. "You... you should try it!" grinned Matt sheepishly. "Huh?" Wil said, a little surprised by his friend's comment. "It's like... WOW! It's a hundred times the feeling you have when you jack off!" "Really?" "Hell yeah!! OK, it hurt like hell the first time, even if Jake's toy is small, but a few times, I got used to him. And the more we did it, the more we liked it." "Oh... Thanks Matt. I never thought you'd tell me. It's just, it's..." "It just that you wanted to try it?" Matt asked. "Y... yeah..." "And who was the lucky one?" "Jason, dumbass. He's the only other one in our gang!" "I knew. I just wanted you to say it!" Matt chuckled. "You're really mean" Wil grinned. "Hmm Matt, I know it's difficult... but if ever Jake... you know... would you mind to try it with me?" "Wil... I can't promise something like that... You know it. I'm not a whore you know. I only love one man at a time. I don't fuck, I make love. It's not the same thing. It would look like I was betraying Jake if I made a promise like that or if I ever tried something with you. Let's give him his chance... Maybe someday... If he doesn't get back, I... I..." then Matt started again to cry. When I heard that, I was at the ready to intervene, but Wil interceded my thought. Wil, took his friend in his arms. "Sorry, I was a stupid asshole to ask you that. The wound caused by Jake's loss isn't even closed on surface and there's dumb me asking you to..." "No it's OK. It just proves that we're closer than we ever thought before. I think we both need that at this moment. Just no sex OK?" Matt replied. "OK, Matt... I ain't no gay you know... I just wanted to try." "That doesn't make you gay, but it's just that I would betray..." "It's OK Matt, I understand." "Thanks, Wil. You're a real friend." "You too Matt. The best one of all." "Thanks... Hmm Wil?" "What?" "Would you mind to tell little Willy to go to sleep, 'cause, if it continues, I'll rape you right here. I haven't jacked off for two weeks man!!" Matt said pointing to Wil's private. "Hmm, sure... but the only way I can do it is to..." "Hey, go far-far away, jack off and then come back. I don't want Greg to find us with you jacking beside me, and me looking at you with drools dripping off my chin." Matt said chuckling. "OK, OK! I'll go! Anyway, I want to take a walk along the shore. You comin'?" "No, I'll stay here, enjoying the place... Maybe tomorrow OK?" "Sweet! See ya later!" "See ya!" Wil came to me, saying he'd talk to Matt about him and Jake and everything. I knew from what I'd overheard that they'd talked a little more than what he really said, his pecker pointing to his belly telling me otherwise. Wil asked me if he could go for a walk. I didn't want to agree to let him go alone, but he reassured me he'd stay on the shore. So I let him go, to give him some space too. I hope I hadn't made a mistake! As I watched him going for his walk, his outline became smaller and smaller as he went further down the beach. Soon, he disappeared from our sight. Being unable to attach some leaves to make a roof, and before swearing like a fisherman, I stopped my work and went to Matt. I sat beside him in Wil's kind of chair and we started to make small talk. The dusk was decending upon us and it was just starting to get dark. So I started a small fire to keep us warm. Fortunately, they put a lot of matches in the survival kit, so it was easy to light it. The fire would be able to tell Wil where we were. I think it was almost two hours before I saw him appearing on the horizon. I couldn't see clearly, but I was sure he was walking in the water. As he trudgingly splashed toward us, the more Matt and I thought that he was dragging something behind him. Now it was completely dark and we couldn't see clearly. Wil would be able to see us because of the light provided by the fire. About fifteen minutes later, we heard a big thump and something heavy being dragged on the sand. "Hey guys, quick... com'ere!" We heard Jake yell in a near panic. "OK, we're coming!" we both replied. We extricated ourselves from our seats and went toward where we heard Wil. I grabbed a flaming log from the fire and carried it with me. As we closer, we both saw why he was near a conniption fit as we both exclaimed, "THE OTHER RAFT!!!!" "Yep! I found it over there," Wil said pointing toward the direction he was coming from. "Kewl!!! We'll have a tent to sleep in tonight." Matt said. "Yeah! BUT that's not all! Hurry and get over here. Matt, I've something special. "Not your boner again? We all have seen it twice and..." Matt started to say jokingly. "Stop it dumbass!!! I'm serious, this is urgent, I need your help! Hop in!" Wil said firmly. I started over to the raft with my makeshift torch, so we could see better. "Ok, but it will cost you three coconuts and you'll have to... to... Jake? JAAAAAKE!!! JAAAAKE! OH MY GOD! JAKE IS HERE!! HE'S IN THE BOAT!!! JAKE!" I looked over the raft wall. Jake was there, in a miserable condition, draped in Matt's embrace. He seemed barely alive, but able to speak a little with a weak voice. "Man, how the fuck did you make it... It's so impossible, I can believe it!" Matt happily exclaimed as he bent down and kissed Jake's forehead and each cheek. "Oh God my love, I thought I'd lost you forever!" "Can someone bring water, I'm thirsty." "Yeah, wait I have some." Wil replied coming out of nowhere already with a bottle. "Hmm... Matt, would you mind to holding it, I'm too worn out to move..." "Sure, love, here... open your mouth." Again, while he held the bottle to Jake's lips, Matt bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "Hey, don't do that.... it's gay... it's..." Then Jake was interrupted by Wil saying seriously, "It's OK, Jake... Stop the gay thing!? That's my line isn't it? It's OK buddy, we all know about you and Matt..." "Fuckin Christ Matt! You'd told 'em?" "Calm down baby," Matt said quietly. "They'd already figured out. I just confirmed what they were already sure of. Everyone's OK with us being together and they're all happy for us. So stop being stupid and kiss me back!" Jake, waited for a moment, then too happy to be back to his lover, he started to kiss him right in front of us. They broke after a long passionate kiss. God, those one are really in love! "Give me another sip Matty?" "Yeah, sure. Open up." "Ahhhhh, that's a relief!" Jake added after drinking some more water. I knew how he felt because I'd felt very much the same way when I awoke from my little coma four days ago. I climbed in the raft to have a closer look at Jake's condition. Although the torch didn't shed a lot of light, I was able to see that he had some cuts and bruises and so far, he could barely move. He was shivering a little, so I knew I had to get him warm. "OK boys, we have to get Jake up to the fire. Wil, you hold the torch and lead the way up to the fire. Stoke it up with some more wood when we get there. Matt, once I've got Jake out of the raft, I need you to pull it up further onto the shore. See if you can find a rock or two to anchor it to." Immediately both boys noted my concern for Jake's condition and went into action. I gingerly lifted Jake up onto my back and brought him near the blazing fire. While I made Jake as comfortable as I could in order to examine him more closely, Matt joined us. >From the view I had with the help of the light from the fire, I saw that he had A LOT of bruises and scars, at that he was bleeding from a bad cut on his left thigh. Wil went back to get the first aid kit after he saw how serious it was. Matt still hung onto Jake's hand while I managed to take care of the young boy's cuts. He was getting a bit warmer from the fire, so hopefully, his symptom of hypothermia would ease. With a medium massage of his limbs, which was somewhat painful for Jake, I was thankful that I couldn't find any broken bones. When Wil brought back the first aid kit, he dragged the raft up closer to the fire and opened the stowed tent cover, then erected the tent over the raft. While I was attending his wounds, Jake told us about his misadventure. He said that he'd fallen in the water when our boat jumped up at the top of the huge wave during the storm and that he wasn't able to see us after that. He heard us yelling to him, but he couldn't tell which direction we were going. So he started to crawl toward the direction he thought he would find us, but finally gave up. He was exhausted after swimming for almost an hour, so when the storm stopped, he looked around in all directions and wasn't able to see us. He stayed there for a long time, just moving with the water current. He was really frightened when he was dragged into the water suddenly by an unknown force. He told us that he'd been attacked by some kind of fish, for sure it wasn't a shark, otherwise he wouldn't be alive to tell the tale. He fought with the fish while he was still under water. As his lungs were screaming for air, the fish snapped his torso between his jaw, sending a sharp pain into his body. Jake tried to remove himself from this predicament, but the fish was holding onto his flotation vest, so Jake quickly removed it and swam up to the surface of the ocean. Then he started to swim in a panic, trying to lose his opponent in the vastness of the sea. Surprisingly, he saw the orange raft just in view. He thought at first it was the one he'd been tossed out of, so he tried to call us, but he didn't get an answer, and he panicked a bit, wondering if we'd all been drowned in the storm. It wasn't until he got inside it, he knew it was the other one. During the storm, the boat had turned over so it was on the right side. So, he swam to the boat and climbed aboard and fell unconscious until Wil found him. To say I was overwhelmed by Jake's ability to survive such an ordeal, all alone, with little to hope for, is the biggest understatement my mind had ever witnessed. Thinking ahead, Wil brought some of the nuts and fruit that we still had lying there. I cracked another coconut and watched with a grin as Jake slurped at the milk. While I carved the coconut pulp, Matt and Jake tediously hand-fed Jake the other fruits. I could tell that Jake and Matt were really happy to be together again as were Jake and I. Once Jake was feeling a bit better with some food in him, I went and gathered some more wood to stoke the fire for the night. I wasn't sure what nocturnal wildlife might be lurking on this island, but I couldn't take any chances. We all climbed into the tented raft and called it a night. Jake was surrounded by his two friends; Wil in front of him, Matt behind, and me, behind Matt. We were stuck skin to skin in an expression of love and to share body heat. We all drifted into a profound sleep - this being the first one that would be less stressful since the crash. The calm, the heat, the serenity we had that night prepared us for another great day together - one that we could all share tomorrow. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To be continued... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah! Jake had made it! Feel free to give your feedback, but let me know where you're from and how old you are! ;-) I give all of you my best wishes for the holidays! As usual, Drake drakanian32@yahoo.ca