Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:38:14 -0700 (PDT) From: crispin emrys Subject: Crispin-and-Zephyr/Part-1-Crispin/Chapter-4-revised This series of fictional stories are the product of my imagination. However, nothing happens in a vacuum. Like most fiction, it is based on real people I have met, places and events I have seen. The Prologue and Chapters 1-13 appeared on Nifty this winter. They have been extensively revised (especially Prologue and Chapter 13) and Chapter 13 has been completed. I will post two per week then continue with Chapter 14. It may be against the law to read where you are because of its content or your age. Or you may feel uncomfortable reading it because of the belief systems you have accepted. Follow the dictates of your heart. If you do read this series, I hope you enjoy it. When this five part story is completed, it will have told the tale of one boy and one man and how their intimate relationship and love for each other led to the creation of a modern day legion of boy knights. These knights errant became young champions of human and social rights and defenders of the weak and the downtrodden. These Boy Knights of the Green Republic reveal the true meaning, purpose and power of boyhood. You may be aware of the etymology of the word knight, that it is derived from the Old English cniht, meaning page boy, or servant, or simply boy. Knighthood, as in the Old English cnihthad, had the meaning of adolescence, that most intriguing period between childhood and manhood. In this sense every boy is a knight, and in my estimation a potential knight errant. Copyright 2007 Crispin Emrys. All Rights Reserved. This series may be displayed on any website so long as no money is charged for access and attribution is retained. Just ask permission first. Thanks. This project is dedicated to Guy Davenport, a gentle genius and unsurpassed writer of short stories who died in 2005, to every Crispin and Zephyr in this or any other world, and to you the reader that you may be encouraged by it. I am Crispin Emrys at crispinemrys@yahoo.com. Feel free to contact me. I always enjoy hearing from my readers. Crispin and Zephyr Part 1 - Crispin Chapter 4 - Revised February, 1999 San Francisco Cris phoned Gwen the following week with the news that he would come for a ten day visit. The way his client schedule was shaped it would have to be during the third week of March, about a month away. Gwen, who was not the least surprised, was nevertheless ecstatic. She pointed out that it would be an excellent time for two reasons. The Colorado schools would still be in session, so he could see the Boulder schools first hand. It was also when Texas schools took their spring vacation break, resulting in a huge flood of Texas tourists into Denver and the ski resorts. It seemed that the locals enjoyed the Texas money but not the Texans themselves, and preferred not to mix. So the locals took their break the week after, once the Texans had cleared out, and they could have the slopes all to themselves. Cris was grateful that he would be able to see the Boulder schools in action, as he had heard many good things about them, and was frankly curious to see how much of it was true. And, of course, there was the added perk of being in town when so many vacationing youngsters would be in residence. Gwen teased Cris saying it appeared that this would be the best of both worlds, fully aware of his interest in boys. In order to free himself for almost two weeks, actually twelve days if counting the weekends, he had to rearrange his calendar and move appointments and commitments to other times. This proved easy to accomplish, as it was well in advance. His colleagues from the old Radical Alternative Counseling Collective agreed to serve as the emergency back up with his more high risk patients. Having worked intimately with these fellow counselors for a number of years, he trusted them implicitly. Chipper readily agreed to take him to the airport, commenting that going on a trip was just the medicine he needed right now. He also asked Robbie to come by and check up on the house and water the plants, which he was eager to do, because he could also play video games and use one of Cris's computers. Cris had been an adolescent counselor and relational therapist for more than twenty years. He purposely chose a relational approach in working with kids, as opposed to the more emotionally distant stereotypical Freudian psychodynamic method wherein the therapist took on an uninvolved and supposedly neutral observer role. He believed strongly that good counseling was anything but a neutral engagement with a client. He was good at this, enjoyed it, and experienced much success working with some very challenging clients. But this also meant that he chose to redefine his relationship with these clients, consciously crossing the "professional" boundary lines between counselor and client. In many cases he became emotionally very close to his clients, friends, and on occasions much more than that. And because of his especially close relationship with Robbie, he was very concerned about how he would respond to Cris's trip to Boulder, the ten day separation, and the possibility that Cris might go to Colorado. So on late Friday afternoon when Robbie came for his weekly visit, Cris told him about plans to visit Colorado and the reason behind it. Cris could tell that Robbie was very unsettled by the idea that he might move to Boulder, so they began to talk it through. It took time and concerted effort on both of their parts, but they were able to discuss it not only from each of their own individual perspectives, but because of the synergy that grew out of their relationship, they were also able to tackle these matters as it affected them together. Although their session lasted longer than usual, they had reached a satisfactory end point for both of them, one they had co-authored. Cris had explained that for one thing, this was only a visit. And even if, and this was a most remote "if" at this juncture, even if Cris decided to move to Colorado, Robbie would be more than welcome to come and stay with him whenever and however long they both felt it was right. He could visit or even live with him there, if that worked out to be best. Cris did not want Robbie to be faced with the abandonment of yet another close friend so soon after losing Tanner. As Robbie understood that at the very least he would be able to visit and maybe even to live with Cris, if that could be worked out, his anxiety decreased. And because they were both approaching the situation in an open and collaborative manner, they were able to talk about other aspects of the possible change. So they ended up having a productive session. Actually, it had helped that Robbie had had a very good week, probably his best so far. He was beginning to come out of his self imposed shell, spending more time with his other friends, friends mutual to both he and Tanner. After the session was officially over, Cris asked Robbie if he could take him out to for dinner and Robbie jumped at the chance. They usually did this once a month, though less often on the spur of the moment like this, but Cris felt it would be good for both of them. Robbie ran out and brought his mom up so Cris could get her permission. Summer and Cris talked while Robbie went into Cris's media center in an adjoining room and began to play some video games. Summer was a very understanding and loving mother, just a bit over thirty. She had been raised on a commune north of the Bay Area, had never married and did not live with Robbie's father, although they were in much agreement regarding Robbie and shared much of the parenting responsibility between them. Summer had been very supportive of the relationship Robbie and Tanner shared over the years, even when it became overtly physical and sexual, as she had always understood that Robbie was sexually independent in his orientation. She loved him in large part because of this, not in spite of it. She was especially proud that Robbie was willing to be himself at a time when this made the difference between him and the other boys his age most apparent. From late elementary school Robbie was willing to stand against the pressure of masculine conformity that seems to be a given in our society, and be quite honest about his sexuality, which is such a hot button issue for early adolescent boys. It was not an issue of being a sissy or feminine, because Robbie was nothing of the sort, being both an outstanding athlete and a gifted swimmer. When Robbie was twelve Tanner joined the same competitive swim team. They quickly became inseparable friends, although this raised some eyebrows among the other swimmers as well as their own circles of friends. During this critical time Summer helped them to work through many awkward and challenging situations that was a product of other kids learned cultural homophobic prejudices. And together they were able to move beyond them. She continued to be a strong and wise source of support for both Robbie and Tanner, whose parents were somewhat less directly involved, although loving and supportive throughout their entire relationship, even through the tragic end. "Robbie seems to be doing so much better. We owe you so much, Cris," she said as they relaxed upstairs in Cris's great room, which was on the third floor of his home/office. "You seem to forget the importance of your own part in all of that, Summer," said Cris as he handed her a very dry martini he had just mixed, fully equipped with three olives. "OK. Let's both admit our love for Robbie has been a source of strength for him. Robbie says you want to take him out to eat. You are so caring and gentle with him. I really don't know how to thank you enough, Cris." Cris gently swirled his martini, and grinning said, "Robbie's smile usually is sufficient payment." Cris paused. "Summer, I received a call from Gwen this weekend She has asked me to come to Boulder and help her to develop a youth program like the one we worked on together here." Summer looked startled. Cris went on in a calm voice, "But I have only agreed to go for a visit. In about a month" He paused for a minute, gauging Summer's reaction to all of this. Summer finally nodded slowly, and looking into her the drink in her hand, said, "I see." Cris continued. "Umm, I just wanted to say that Robbie means so much to me, that if I do end up moving to Colorado, although that is not the plan right now, he is more than welcome to visit whenever he can. I have also told him that if things work out, and you approve, he can live with me there. I hope that I did not overstep my friendship by not talking with you first." Summer smiled. "Cris, you know how I feel. I trust you completely with Robbie." She began to say something and stopped, took a sip of her drink and looked out the windows opposite the couch. Cris gave her time to collect her thoughts so she could continue. "I guess you know how much Robbie loves you." Crispin smiled, raised his left eyebrow slightly and nodded his head. "I just don't mean as a friend, Cris, but it's pretty clear that he has fallen in love with you. I am sure I am not telling you anything you don't already know." Again Crispin nodded his head slowly in affirmation. "Cris, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the deferential way that you have worked with him, how you have been so kind and have done everything in your power not to hurt him. He worships you and wants to be your lover." In spite of the fact that Summer was very open and frank in all her dealings, talking about this with Cris made her a little nervous and she looked away from Cris's intense but very loving eyes. Cris smiled. "Summer, I love Robbie, and you know that. I think he is incredibly intelligent, compassionate, wise beyond his fifteen years, and a very, very cute and sexy boy, if you will allow me be so blunt." Cris paused and looked out the windows toward the hills across the Bay. "But, neither he nor I are ready for anything that goes beyond a solid friendship, at least right now. You need to know that I find him very attractive. But I want to work this through as delicately as is humanly possible. He is still recovering from Tanner's death. And then there is my own personal baggage. I still have not fully recovered from losing Misha. You already know about that part of my life. I don't want to love Robbie in a way he thinks he needs right now, only to regret it later. So, in some ways, this trip to Colorado, the physical space between Robbie and me, may be a good thing, a necessary thing for both of us to figure out how we really should express the way we feel toward each other. As to how our relationship plays out before I leave, I just don't know. But the bottom line is this: I will never do anything to hurt Robbie. And if I ever do leave California, I want you to know that Robbie is always welcome to visit or live with me anytime, for as long as he needs or wants to. "With your permission, of course," Cris quickly added. smiling. They both laughed quietly which helped to ease the tension. "Thanks, Cris." Summer set down her glass and leaned over and kissed him on the check, just as Robbie walked into the room. "Whoohoo," he exclaimed in typical teenage fashion. "I guess Cris and I can go out to dinner, huh mom?" "Smart ass," Summer quipped with a smile. Cris smiled as well. "Actually, we had not even discussed that yet. Summer, is it alright with you if I take your very handsome son on a date to a really fabulous Italian restaurant down the coast? I promise to not do anything too naughty" Cris said as he looked directly at Robbie and smiled. "And I promise to make every effort to have him home no later than one, unless, he wants to spend the night here, of course." Summer laughed, "I think I can trust you Cris, but I am not so sure about my son. Robbie? Do you promise to behave yourself and not be a pest." Robbie began to grimace. "Aw, mom," he said, but with a smile now. "You know you can trust me, too." "I know, honey. I was only teasing a boy who is so easy to tease even I can get away with it. Have a great time, boys. See you tonight or tomorrow, Robbie. I am sure I will be asleep when you get back if you come home tonight. You have your key, sweetheart?" Robbie patted the spot on his chest where the key sat on the rawhide necklace. "Yep, got it right here safe and sound." With that Summer finished her drink, ate the triple olives that were Cris's martini signature, and headed out the door and down the stairs. Robbie naturally just fell into Cris's arms and rested his head on Cris's chest. "Thanks for being my friend, Cris."