Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:54:55 -0400 From: Chris Johns Subject: Cruelty to ChildrenPart 3 See Chapter 1 for restrictions and synopsis. Chapter 3 Matt mark 2 Another two weeks were to pass before the day it rained coincided with Matt's sport afternoon. I got a call late afternoon to go to the school. As I entered the headmaster's study I took in the scene. A pile of clothes on a chair with a very frightened boy stood alongside it. The boy looked younger than his fourteen years and was wrapped in a towel, my heart strings tightened, at the time I didn't fully understand why. The sports coach sat in a chair to one side and the headmaster sat at his desk. "Come in Doctor Daniels. I wanted you to see this before we allow the boy to dress." I looked at an underdeveloped, undernourished fourteen year old who looked frightened half to death. I also looked into a pair of the biggest puppy dog eyes I had seen since Matt died. He wasn't Matt's double but I could see how Kevin thought he was. It was the eyes, huge, speckled green and brown with long curling lashes and so sad. The body, from neck to waist was covered with bruises. After I had looked and then looked at the headmaster he spoke. "Matthew, turn round and drop the towel." The boy looked even more terrified if that was possible but he dropped the towel and before he turned round I could see that his belly and genitals were all bruised as well. The back view made me gasp. From neck to waist he was a mass of whip marks, judging by the bruising I would guess they had been administered with him strung up because they curled round the sides of his torso. From waist to mid thigh it was difficult to tell what had caused the bruising because there was a uniform blue black over the whole area. The headmaster's jaw was set in a hard line and if I could have seen it, mine probably was as well and my eyes no doubt registered shock. I had not seen bruising damage like this since Matt died. "You might like to use this digital camera Doctor Daniels before we let this young man get dressed and then we can decide our next step." I walked up to the boy and touched his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin.Very softly I spoke to him. "No one is going to hurt you here Matt. I'm Jason Daniels, my friends call me Jase. I'd like to be your friend." Two big soulful eyes looked at me but no sound came from the mouth. "Will you stand in the centre of the room for me with your hands behind your head and your legs spread about three feet apart." He did without any sound and I took about forty photos of him. "Ok Matt you can get dressed now." I turned to the headmaster and said. "If I get my laptop from my car I can download these images straight away." Sneaky bastard, it gave me time to compose myself. I was so shocked at the state this boy was in. I got my laptop and by the time I had finished Matt was dressed and sat in a chair opposite the coach. "I would like to have a chat with Matt before we decide our next course of action if I could headmaster." He and the coach said they would be outside when I was finished. "Matt, would you tell me how you got such extensive bruising?" He looked at me and shook his head before dropping his eyes again. "With the level and depth of your injuries I would be surprised if you have escaped internal injury. I would like to do what is best for you and as a fourteen year old I should let your wishes influence what I do, but, you are going to hospital to have a thorough medical, including x-rays first. After that, well we'll have to see." He looked at me again, terrified. "I can't, I have to go home, I mustn't be any later I'll be in so much trouble." "Why Matt, and in trouble with who?" "I can't tell you, I just will be." "Matt, I want to help you and I want to be your friend so let me tell you what I think is happening and what the result can be if we don't stop it." He looked at me again with those huge eyes and I wanted to fly across the room and cuddle him. "I think you are being severely abused, probably at home. I think the abuse is so severe that there is a very good chance you will suffer serious internal damage if it isn't stopped. That damage may already have started. My best friend died at nineteen years old because his father systematically beat him to death over a long period. I won't let that happen to you." "I have to go home; I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't want to go into care." "You won't have to go into care Matt. I work at a centre. It's residential and there are quite a few boys like you there, they live like a family, you can stay there until we can work out a long term solution for you." "I want to go home; I don't want to leave my Mum." "Does she get beaten as well Matt?" He looked at me with those huge eyes as though I had dropped from the sky. "Oh no he never hits Mum, but he shouts at her all the time." "Have you any siblings Matt?" "No, there's just Mum and me." "And your father?" "Yes and him." "I'm sorry Matt but let's see what the medics turn up and then we can talk again. I'm going to take you to hospital now ok." He looked defeated. "He'll scream at her all night if I don't go home please let me go." The appeal was almost heartbreaking in its intensity. "No Matt, not yet anyway." I told the headmaster what I was planning and that I would keep him informed. He gave me his cell number and we were on our way. I took him to the children's unit at our local hospital where I was well known. I always seemed to be bringing in bruised and battered kids. Could have been depressing if I wasn't able to help them and watch their rehabilitation. I nearly lived at the centre with the boys, I suppose that was why I had no girl friends, or male friends come to that. My work colleagues were the only people I communicated with, no time for anything else. I knew the doctor on duty vaguely, older than most of them in the children's unit, he only worked part time but he was good. "Please Doctor Daniels, will you stay with me?" I suppose one stranger per day was enough for this boy so I sat quietly in a corner watching as Sam Fitzgerald carried out his examination. "Ok Matthew, I'd like you to slip behind that screen and take all your clothes off then come and sit up on this table." Sam was patting his examination table as he spoke. While Matt undressed I told Sam everything I knew and what I guessed. When Matt came out from behind the screen Sam gasped looked at me and I saw the anger. "Turn round Matthew." He did and Sam's anger turned to anguish. He walked across to me and whispered. "Who could do that to such a beautiful child Jase, he ought to be horse whipped, and I'd happily do it." The examination was a nightmare it had both of us so angry; at the end Sam was almost spitting fire. Matt had whimpered at almost every touch. I was dreading seeing the x-rays when they were done. His body was a mass of tender places, unfortunately all surrounding vital organs. His genitals were so damaged that every touch elicited a scream of pain. We were in the hospital for so long that I had to telephone the parents. The father was abusive until I told him I was going to call the police because there was no way his son was coming home. "Keep him then, I don't want the little faggot in this house." A couple of hours later a very frightened little woman came in to the room where Matt and I were relaxing waiting for blood and x-ray results. I could see immediately who she was. Care worn but quite obviously she had once been a pretty little thing. I wanted to cry this was my Matt and his Mum all over again. I stood up to greet her. "Hello Mrs. Owens, I'm Dr. Daniels I instigated this procedure after the school saw the state of Matthew's body. We are waiting for x-ray results and blood tests before we know the full extent of the damage but I think you should be prepared for some bad news." Bad news there was, Matt had extensive bruising to his major organs, his beatings had obviously been incredibly severe. Liver damage was the worst and the specialist thought he would be lucky to see them heal. "What on earth did his father use on him to do this amount of damage Mrs. Owens?" She was crying as she told me. "He usually used his belt, but it has a heavy metal buckle and it was that end that used to connect with Matt, and he had whips which he used as well. He used to drag him out to the outhouse and string him up naked to beat him. `I'm going to beat this evil out of him so that he is fit to face his maker or I'll send him to hell. He used to say that to me every night when he dragged Matthew out." My parents had taught me unconditional love. `We will love you Jason whatever you do and whoever you are because you are our son. I am sure we will also be proud of you because you will be your own man.' My father had said that to me one night after I had tried to tell them how I felt about Matt. I can still remember the conversation. I was old enough to know what faggots were and I knew that I loved Matt, but I never wanted to touch him in those private places, I didn't want any carnal knowledge of him, I just loved him. I guess I was confused. "Do you love me son?" "Of course I do Dad." "Do you like me to cuddle you and kiss you even though you are a young man now?" "Of course I do Dad." "Well the love you have for Matt is on the same level. You don't want sex with me and you don't want sex with Matt, but you do want to feel the closeness. You want to kiss him and cuddle him the same as I do to you. I guess we are a pretty touchy feely bunch in this family." I knew Dad had added the last bit to try and lighten things up for me. "Other people may interpret that the wrong way so you need to be careful where you do it. In this house we understand and if you want to kiss Matt or cuddle him to show how much you love him you can, there is nothing for you to be ashamed of." I guess that was a defining moment in my life, I realised I could love another man without it being sexual. In fact my sexual libido must have been very low because I seldom beat off and never thought of anything in particular when I did. The hospital was going to keep Matt under observation for several days before they would consider releasing him. I spent that time talking to Matt's mum and getting legal documents prepared and signed that would effectively give me custody of him. That was standard practice as I was head of medical and psychiatric services at the centre. Matt's mother came into see him every day but she looked increasingly frail. We moved him to the centre when he was released but he didn't settle. His mother came every day there as well which I realised was detrimental to Matt's well being. She looked so ill and each day it was worse. Two weeks into his time with us Matt's mother didn't show. She didn't show the next day either so I sent an investigator to find out why. "Jase, I'm sorry, you have got a monster on your hands. Matt's father beat his wife to death a couple of nights ago. He's on the run." The investigator looked worried because he knew how I bled for these boys. I appreciated it. I guess we were lucky. So many of the child care agencies employed people that just wanted a job, we on the other hand had 100% carers. I had to tell Matt, he would hear it at school if I didn't tell him and that could be devastating. I don't know how I didn't cry as I told him but somehow I kept it all together. Physically he was heeling well but this was going to be a massive psychological and emotional setback for me to deal with. "What's going to happen to me now Jase?" This came through his sobs and I didn't have an answer. He would now become a ward of court and as soon as I released him from the centre he would become available for adoption or a foster home. At fourteen adoption was not a reasonable possibility and again because of his age a foster home where they cared rather than just fostered for the money would be a rarity. I was beginning to love this beautiful damaged boy and that was not going to help either of us. I went to see Mum and Dad. "I don't know where to go with this one Dad. He is such a gentle boy, he is beautiful, sensitive and intelligent, I'm lost, and I don't want to give him up. He's Matt Dad, I fucked up the first time. I can't screw this one up. I have a second chance to get it right, but I don't know how." Dad was obviously thinking at a low level as he said. "Adopt him yourself then." As soon as he said it he realised how stupid that was. "I'm sorry Jason that was a knee jerk reaction. I don't know son, give me a little time to think." "You don't have to Dad, that's the answer. I have to find some way for the Child Support Agency to accept me as a viable parent." Crazy huh! Single man under thirty wants to adopt a fourteen year old abused child. I could almost hear the screams of Paedophile already. Was I, did I have carnal desires for this beautiful abused child? Or, was he the Matt I had failed years before? I didn't get an erection looking at him I had no conscious thought that I wanted sex with him. What I did want to do was cuddle him and kiss him and tell him he was safe, that I loved him and I wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. I am sure the CIA or the FBI wouldn't have done a more in depth investigation of me if I wanted to join them. The outcome though was that I was put on the register of acceptable foster parents. I didn't want that. If the miracle happened and someone wanted to adopt a fourteen or fifteen year old I would lose him. More importantly the change could be devastating on this sensitive boy. I tried to get them to see it but even taking into account my position the laymen that made the decision had no idea of the implications for Matt. Take what was given or lose him. Of course I took the former. "Matt you are now considered well enough to go into the system and be available for fostering or adoption." The fear was back in those beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry Matt. The chances of an adoption are low but I know someone who will foster you immediately so you don't have to go into an orphanage." "I don't want to go anywhere Jase, foster parents won't love me." "Matt the foster parent I want you to go to will love you and cherish you." "I don't believe you, you just want to get rid of me now that I am well." I pulled him into my arms and despite him fighting me I held him. "I don't want to get rid of you Matt, that's why I'm going to foster you. I love you Matt, I want to look after you." I felt him relax and then he pushed me away gently. "What do you mean, you want to look after me?" "I've registered as a foster carer so that you can come and live with me." "I don't believe you, you are just saying that so that you don't have any problems with me." "I'm sorry to hear you say that. I thought you had come to trust me and like me." He looked confused. "I do like you Jase but you have so many broken boys to deal with, now that I'm well you have to move on." "No Matt, you don't understand. I want you to come and live with me forever." "Why?" The one word was both interrogative and accusing. "Because I love you Matt and I want to take care of you." "Ah, now I get it. Sex, I'm gay so sex." I winced that was like a slap in the face, so as gently as I could I told him. "No Matt. Many years ago I had a friend like you. I let him down because I wouldn't tell anyone about his bruises. His father beat him to death, the same as your father would have done to you. I think God has given me a second chance to get it right so in some ways I am being selfish. I didn't think I would ever love another boy but now I've found you and I love you. Please let me look after you." He looked confused but he moved in close to me and gave me a hug. "Ok, what do I have to do?" "Go to school every day, do all your homework, get good grades." I was grinning as I said it and he noticed as he pulled away from me. That earned me a punch in the ribs. "No, I mean what do I have to do to be able to live with you?" "Oh, I guess when the papers are all prepared we'll have to go see a judge to make it all legal." We did, the Judge asked him if he wanted to come and live with me and that was about it, I now had a permanent guest in my second bedroom. He unpacked his clothes and personal stuff before joining me in the lounge. "Ok youngster, here are your keys. They are on this ribbon so you can hang them round your neck and you won't lose them." The key ribbon was a gift as part of the package when I bought my Porsche so as Matt said, "That's cool man, a Porsche key ring." He beamed and I melted. "Ok, house rules." He now looked resigned, ready for a long list of don'ts. "Please respect my home and make it yours. We share house chores. No curfew but I would like you to tell me if you are going to be late home. Not an option on school nights. I don't know what allowance a fourteen year old gets so will you canvas your classmates and we'll settle on a high-end average. Fair enough?" "Yeah I guess. Are you really doing this because of the other Matt, Jase?" "Honest Matt, I don't know. That is probably part of it but I did fall in love with you the first time I saw you in the headmaster's study." "But you aren't gay, how can you love me?" So I told him about my conversation with my dad when I couldn't sort my feelings for my first Matt. "So you want us to kiss and cuddle sometimes to show your love for me but you don't want to fuck me or suck my cock." I winced, that was pretty blunt. "That about sums it up, yeah." "Wow, that's weird." I laughed. "Come here you klutz let's try the cuddling." He snuggled in to me on the sofa and I stroked him. He looked up at me and I kissed him on the nose. "I'm so pleased you've come to live with me Matt. I hope you'll be happy here." It worked, I watched this beautiful boy learn to relax, he started to fill out with all the good food we were eating and I got him to join me in the gym so he put on muscle. The bruising disappeared and a beautiful fawn emerged. My love for this boy grew deeper every day and I realised I would die to protect him, I would never see him bruised and beaten again if I could possibly prevent it. I came home early one day and heard the noise before I put my key in the door. It was Matt, squealing. I rushed in ready to do battle and pulled up sharply in the doorway to the lounge. Matt was on the floor, pinned down by a bigger boy who had his hand inside Matt's shirt and was tickling him. When they saw me they stopped. They both looked guilty but I couldn't see anything wrong. They were just two boys having a bit of fun. "Hi Kevin, hi Matt, I must remember that. You're ticklish, you play up and I'll punish you by tickling you half to death," and I grinned. Tension gone in a minute. Matt climbed off the floor and I walked across to give him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. He blushed and squirmed, "Jase." I knew, and I had done it deliberately. "Sorry, you think Kevin might feel left out?" Before Matt could say anything I took Kevin in my arms and gave him a quick hug as well. "How are you youngster, I haven't seen you for ages." "I'm fine Doctor Daniels thank you." "How do you know Kevin Jase?" Matt was obviously surprised. "Ah, good question. I won't answer that now but I promise I will one day. Are you staying for supper Kevin?" "I'd like to Doc. if that's ok." "Yeah, love you to and why don't you call me Jase?" "Ok Jase." He grinned and I liked him even more than the first time he walked into my office the day he effectively saved Matt. I might have guessed Matt wouldn't allow that little mystery to last long. I had just turned my bedside light out that night when I heard footsteps padding across the room and in the moonlight I saw Matt coming towards my bed, stark naked. "Can I sleep with you Jase?" Hmm, a first, no hesitation though, my present sentiment was that I would refuse this boy nothing. "Sure hop in. What's up?" He snuggled in close to me and said, "Kev and you, that's something to do with me isn't it?" "Yes Matt. Is he your friend now?" "Yeah, he sort of acts like my protector at school and he's really nice, he keeps trying to say something to me but gets tongue-tied. I don't think he's gay but I just get this feeling sometimes." "Matt, I hope you will take this ok. Perhaps you ought to know. Kevin saved your life." Matt shot up in bed and turned the light on. Looking me in the eyes he said. "What do you mean he saved my life?" "If the abuse from your dad had gone on for much longer he would have killed you. Kevin suspected you were in trouble and approached me because I told his class the story of my other Matt. In the event we got to you just about in time. There is still a lot of heeling to do inside you, but you should be as good as new in another few months if I look after you and you stay out of fights." "Does Kev know that?" "I think he has a pretty good idea." He turned the light off again and snuggled in close to me. I could feel his erection against my thigh but it didn't worry me. I cuddled him and whispered "Goodnight Baby," in his ear. "Goodnight Jase. I love you." Nice feeling having someone to cuddle, I slept like a baby. I may have been good for Matt but that was as nothing compared to what he was doing for me. I loved him so much it shone through in my work. I had always been dedicated but now I had love to spare that Matt had unlocked, Matt had released it all for me, and I felt comfortable. When I felt a youngster needed a cuddle he got it. May be not politically correct but I was rehabilitating damaged kids successfully, like Damien, nine years old, devoid of a loving relationship all his young life. I roped Matt in on this one and at weekends I signed him out of the centre and he would stay with us. Matt started to treat him like a little brother lavishing love on him like I did with Matt. I wondered what the possibility was that I would be allowed a second child, particularly one as young as Damien. In the event we didn't need it. We were in the park one Sunday. Damien had been with us for about six months. He and Matt were playing and Damien fell over quite hard. I rushed over and scooped him up in my arms, carried him to the bench and just cuddled him while he calmed down. "I'm sorry Jase, I couldn't stop him" Matt was quite upset so I pulled him to me and cuddled him as well. "It's ok Matt, he's not hurt just a little shaken," and I tickled Damien saying to him, "like a good cocktail," and he giggled. I now had my two happy boys back. I looked up just then and saw the couple stood near us watching our every move. Damien saw them about the same time. "Hello" he said looking very shy. They moved in closer and the lady stooped and took one of his hands. "Hello" she said, "Are you alright now?" "Yes thank you," he replied, very grown up. "Doctor Daniels never lets me get hurt, he loves me lots." My turn to blush. "You aren't the boy's parent then?" the man said. "No, Matt is my foster son, I hope he will be with me until college. Damien was damaged but now he's fine, aren't you tiger?" He giggled and buried his face in my neck. "Both of these boys obviously love you but what is going to happen to the little one if he is not yours?" "I am hoping the authority I work for will let me foster him as well but because of his age I expect him to go into the pool for adoption. The best I can do for him is vet potential parents incredibly carefully. He doesn't ask for much nor need much, just someone to love him. Matt and I do and he knows it." "We would like to talk to you professionally if we may." "Matt, will you go and play with Damien again while I talk to these people?" "Sure Jase, no problem." The couple sat down either side of me and the man passed me a card. He was a senior executive in one of the local manufacturing plants. "Who exactly are you Doctor Daniels?" "I'm the resident Medical officer and Child Psychiatrist at the abused boy's home in town. Matt was one of them and is now my foster son. Damien is just about ok now and he stays with us at weekends sometimes, as I said I would like to adopt him but I'm a single man so I doubt that will happen. I got Matt because he was so severely damaged internally that when he attached himself to me it was considered unsafe for his well being to take him away. Besides I love him very much." "Having the boys at weekends is beyond the requirements of the job isn't it Doctor?" "Mmm, probably but if you could have seen the little boy that came to the centre six months ago and compare him with that little ball of fun you would know why I do it. He is good for Matt as well, you have no idea what good therapy it is to give love." We watched the boys for a few minutes during which Damien got plenty of hugs. "I see what you mean." The woman said. "Doctor Daniels, how would we go about it if we wanted to adopt Damien?" I was shocked, I really did want to keep that little mite close to me but I told them and after a little more small talk and proper introductions I asked them if they would join us for our afternoon snack. They were with us for a couple of hours and I watched how Damien interacted with them. I realised he was young enough to need the cuddles of a woman more than he needed mine. I teared up a little and Geoff noticed. "You really do love him Jason don't you?" "Yes, I'm afraid so. I worry about all the boys but in just two cases, you see them here, I've gone beyond that." "We don't live far away, you could stay in touch if we are successful. I think you would make a very fine Uncle for him." I smiled. I was beginning to like these two people. "It will take a few months Geoff even if we get the ball rolling tomorrow, but I can have Damien every weekend if I want to. You and Joan could be my guests as often as you like. I devote my weekends to Matt and now Damien so as long as you are ok playing happy families that is ok with me." "Thank you, I know Joan will clear our diary for every weekend until he becomes our son. I promise you he will receive more love than you can imagine. You see my wife can't have children but loves them. She does a lot of voluntary work with kids as a substitute." It did take months but by the time the adoption went through, with heavy support from me, Damien was already a part of his new family. I would part with him reluctantly but he so obviously loved Joan's attention I was glad. We made the handover at the centre on a Friday, I told Damien that he could call me Uncle Jase now and Joan and Geoff would be his new Mummy and Daddy, but only if he wanted them to be. He looked between the three adults and Matt before completely surprising me and smacking a great big wet kiss on my lips. "Thank you Uncle Jase for loving me." And he was in Joan's arms before I recovered. Everybody laughed, particularly when they all saw how deep I was blushing. Matron whispered to me. "I love happy endings Doctor Daniels. " Matt piled into the Porsche with me and looked sad. "I'm going to miss the little guy Jase." "Yeah, me too Matt, he's pretty special. How would you like to see him on Sunday." Matt saw the grin on my face. "Really." "Yeah we're invited for the afternoon." We probably got to see Damien about once a month, I was after all Uncle Jase and I always got a big sloppy kiss. That caused an enormous change in my life as well. After one visit Matt was very quiet on the way home. Once we were in the apartment he stood in front of me and looking me straight in the eyes said. "Do you love me more than Damien Jase?" "You know I do." "Ok so I can do this then?" With that he held my face between his hands and kissed me on the lips, nothing fierce, just a gentle brush of the lips. I had to make an instant decision. Push him away or pull him in close to hug him. I chose the latter. "I guess, but please don't do it as publicly as Damien will you." He moved back and saw the twinkle in my eyes. He grinned as well. "Depends on whether I get enough kisses in here." "Are you trying to seduce me young man?" I said it in my most school masterly voice and Matt just shrugged and said very quietly, "What do you think?" I grabbed him, held him at arms length and looked into those eyes. I had my answer before I asked the question. My life was about to take a course I had never considered. Very gently I said to him, "Why now Matt, you've been here almost a year." Next Chapter Jason and Matt get physical, but how will this affect their relationship?