Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:53:59 -0400 From: Chris Johns Subject: Cruelty to Children Part 8 Standard rules apply guys, and honest, I'm not a mcp so if there are girls reading this as well, thank you. Chapter 8 How do I handle Matt? As soon as the light went on I knew it was going to be a difficult night. Matt was in my bed, well our bed really. He was wide-awake eyes looking straight at me and scared. "I'm sorry Jase." He was ready to say more but I couldn't talk to him about it now. "I don't want to hear it Matt. I want you to go to your own room and we will talk in the morning." "But I " "Go to your own room now Matt. I don't want to hear another word out of you until I have had my breakfast. NOW." I almost screamed it at him. He was out of the bed and scampering towards the door in a milli-second. I cleaned my teeth, used the ointment on my bottom which I could see in the mirror was bruising up quite heavily and turned in. I cried myself to sleep, the first time since my first Matt died. I was up early Sunday. I guess the situation made that a certainty, but I still wasn't first. Matt was at the kitchen table with a coffee and I could smell the fresh filter ready for mine. I poured it, got myself a bowl of cereal and sat opposite him. I didn't look at him but I could feel his eyes boring into me. When I finished I cleared my cup and bowl away and went back to my room. I stripped my bed and gathered the bedding up along with my dirty clothes and went through to the utility room to do the laundry. Matt followed me everywhere. I went back to the kitchen and made up a shopping list, thank heavens for seven day opening. When I put my coat on and grabbed my wallet and keys Matt did the same and followed me out. We completed the shopping and I still hadn't said a word to him. Shopping unpacked and I went into the lounge taking a beer with me. I sat and stared into space. Matt sat opposite me looking seriously worried. Eventually I looked at him and said, "I don't know where I have gone wrong. I have spent the last two years lavishing every ounce of my love on you. I realised last night, even neglecting my parents who I love dearly. I thought I had taken a very abused and sick young man and turned him into someone I would love and be proud of for the remainder of my life. The boy that I saw yesterday was none of that, he was something evil. Even his best friend balked at the final degradation he was prepared to visit on me. I would laugh if I weren't so sad. I'm a psychologist and I haven't got a clue where I have gone wrong apart from possibly allowing our relationship to become sexual, but even that doesn't explain yesterday. I don't know if I will ever understand how you could do what you did. What I do know is that I have to re-evaluate my whole life. I don't know where I am going with this Matt but I think the best thing you can do is stay out of my way as much as possible. I don't feel that I want you to touch me even. I will continue to look after you but for now please spend as much time as you can with your friends or in your room. A good place to start may well be Kevin if you want to regain his love and friendship." I got up then, dumped my beer can and went out to fetch the papers. When I came back I could hear the sobbing coming from Matt's room but I didn't know what to do. I know I wanted to go in and take him in my arms to comfort him but I couldn't. My brain was in turmoil so I took the cowards way and went out to a bar to read my papers and have some more beer. I wished I could go and talk to Dad about it but I was so ashamed. I should have stopped it but I guess I wanted to see how far Matt would go to prove my love. I wondered if I would have taken his piss had he decided on that last act. God I was a mess. Home for lunch, which I cooked, covered Matt's with foil and left a note on it telling him to nuke it for three minutes and then I went out again. I couldn't hear any sobbing so I had no idea whether he was in or not. I drove around not having a clue where I was going and ended up, not by intent at Geoff and Joan's. I was made welcome and fielded the question of where Matt was. I apologised for arriving uninvited but I was nursing a problem and had just gravitated here naturally. I eventually told Geoff I had a serious problem with Matt. Serious enough to be testing my love. "Jason, children are renowned for disappointing their parents. Some of them do it all the time, the lucky parents only see it once or twice. You're a child psychologist on top of being a father. Try to work the logic. You have had Matt for two years, during that time you have loved him and seen it returned in full. How many times has he disappointed you in that time, and for how long?" "Hmm, a couple I guess over a period of a week in total I would estimate." "Ok, 7 days in 700, 1%. The remaining 99% he has brought you love and joy and pride in your achievements with a bruised and abused child. I think you have blown this out of proportion don't you?" I looked at him and thought of dad when he pulled me back from the brink over Matt. I smiled, "Are you sure you aren't a psychologist as well Geoff?" He laughed, "You sometimes just need to stand back from a problem a little ways." My usual sloppy kiss from Damien and, "Goodbye uncle Jase, I love you." Equilibrium almost achieved now to sort Matt. Early evening by the time I arrived home, no lights on, Matt's lunch still sat by the microwave. I walked along to my bedroom and the bed was made and my laundry was all ironed and laid on it. I walked round the rest of the apartment and noted it was sparkling. Matt had used my absence to clean and complete the laundry. I walked along to his room and opened the door. He was curled up in bed, no sound other than his regular breathing. Very quietly I closed the door and went back to the lounge. I sat thinking for ages before I realised Matt was stood near my chair. He was naked and holding the cane in one hand. I looked up at his face. He looked terrible, he had obviously spent a lot of time crying. His eyes were sunken and hooded so that they looked about a quarter the size of normal. "Come round here so that I can see you better." I pointed to a spot about six feet away from me so that I could lay back comfortably in my chair and still see his eyes. "What do you want?" I didn't say it harshly but he still recoiled as though I had struck him. I could see the tears forming but he held on to them. "I'm sorry Sir, I got carried away, I think it just became a power trip for me. I didn't know I could be that evil until I had time to think about it." He then offered me the cane. "Please accept my apology Sir and use this cane to thrash me unconscious. I am already packed, as soon as I regain consciousness I will leave and never bother you again. Thank you for loving me I will never forget your kindness." Then I got the tears. Quietly. He just let them roll down his cheeks. I hadn't moved so he did. He placed the cane in my lap, turned round and spread his legs and then bent over to grip his ankles. "Stand up Matt." He did and I took the cane with me as I went through to his room. He had a knapsack packed and ready by the door. Everything else was stacked tidily on the far wall so that it only had to be moved into a storage place, including the new computer I had bought for him. That was in the original box, which we had kept in case we ever had to pack it up again. The bed was stripped, everything was polished I opened cupboards and drawers, they were all empty and clean. I went back to the lounge. "What am I supposed to do with all the stuff you have stacked by the far wall?" "I don't know Sir, but it's not mine to take." "Turn round Matt." Now he was facing me eye to eye. I searched them to see if he was serious. "Let me understand this. You want me to thrash you into unconsciousness and then let you leave and be out of my life forever." "Yes Sir." "And where do you intend to go?" "I don't know Sir, but it has to be away from you doesn't it?" "Why?" He looked bemused. "Well you can't possibly want me to remain here after what I did to you yesterday." "What did I tell you about my love for you?" Not bemused now, confused. "But you can't possibly still mean that." "You are wrong Matt. You see the failure that brought about yesterday has to be mine. I don't know why or how but somehow I have failed you. You will not be leaving here. Now go back to your room, unpack and stow all your things, get your computer up and running and get all your things ready for school in the morning. While we work our way through this I will remind you of the answer I gave you two years ago to the question `what do I have to do?' I told you, go to school every day, work hard and get good grades, which still applies. Clear your mind of this problem at school and continue to make me proud of your achievements." He fell to his knees then and went further forward so that he could kiss my feet. "Get up Matt, don't you dare do that. You aren't in servitude, you're my son and my lover, we'll work this out." I couldn't make out the look in his eyes, surprise, sadness, love. They were all there. I had a large brandy after he had gone and thought about his action. I was lost, he fully intended to leave but needed the expiation of his sins, or he was sure enough of my love that he did it all for show. No, I couldn't believe that, whatever else Matt was, devious he wasn't. I was a wreck Monday morning and in all honesty Matt didn't look a lot better. We had our normal breakfast, did what we always did and I told him I would take him to school so he could leave later. He grabbed another coffee and sat down opposite me. "You look like I feel, try to get some fresh air in between classes to day and before we leave go and soak your face in cold water for a few minutes, try to bring down that puffiness." "Thank you Sir." "And stop calling me Sir Matt, it just sounds silly coming from you." "I'm sorry Jase." I guess that was just a little too much for him then, the tears came in a flood. He threw himself into my arms and sobbing his heart out blubbered at me, "I'm sorry Jase, I'm so sorry. I'm evil and I don't deserve your love but I love you so much." I hugged him until he calmed down. "Now you really do have to go and soak your face." I tried to smile as I said it but I'm sure it was a bit strained. Not an easy day for either of us I guessed. Supper was a strained affair. "Have you done all your homework Matt?" Yes Jase." "Have you talked to Kevin today?" "Just a hello but he patently didn't want to talk." "I'm sorry but I suggest you think about what you are going to say to him if you get the chance." Big doleful eyes looked back at me. "I've really screwed up big time Jase haven't I?" "Mmm, I think you can say that. Be careful how you explain it to Kevin, remember he loves you as well. He will be looking for ways to forgive you, don't give him the chance to make the break permanent." "How can you still love me Jase and be so nice to me?" "Good question Matt. I guess the answer is that my love for you runs so deep that there is probably nothing you could do to make me stop loving you." "I will work so hard for the rest of my life to make you proud of me and I will try to understand myself better so that I never do anything bad again either." "I'm pleased to hear that Matt, it's quite possible that good can come from this evil act then." He blushed. "I have some more reading I would like to do Jase, I think I'll turn in early and do it in bed." "Alright Matt, goodnight." He looked at me with that longing in his eyes. I knew he wanted a goodnight kiss but I wasn't ready for that yet. It was lonely in bed by myself, the ripples from the weekend were going to take some time to settle I thought. One month on and the ripples had grown wider. I had been to see Damien twice more without Matt, he knew where I had been on both occasions and was patently sad. I realised much later that in fact starving him of his little brother was the worst punishment I ever gave him. The situation with Kevin didn't improve much either, they were talking again but apparently only when it was almost impossible to avoid it. I hadn't allowed Matt to sleep with me and the cuddles after dinner had not resumed. I was still gutted by his actions and the little boy in me had become resentful. I avoided contact with him as much as possible. Once again it was dad that sorted me out. Eighteen the first time now thirty-one. "Jason, this has to stop. We love seeing so much of you but whatever the trouble with Matt you must either sort it or return him for further fostering. You are an adult and should be able to work through the problem. Matt is still a child and you will damage him emotionally if you don't pull yourself together." I broke down then and cried for a new Matt. "I love him so much Dad but he has done something so evil I don't know if I can forgive him." "Well in that case return him to the centre and get him fostered by someone else. If you love him but can't forgive him you must let him go. You took in a physically and emotionally damaged boy two years ago Jason, don't you dare now be the cause of emotional damage to him." I guess that came at just the right time because I had Kevin's class for a psychology introduction the next day. Kevin sat at the back and kept a very low profile but at the end of the lesson I caught him and told him to stay. "I have another class Dr. Daniels I have to go." "I know, I just want a quick word. I know what Matt instigated with me was pretty evil. I am still shocked but I let it go on because he thought I was falling in love with you and out of love with him. That was my way of proving I would do anything for him. I told him I do love you as well but that didn't affect my love for him. That is how it stands. I am sorry not to have seen you for ages I miss you. Matt misses you as well, a great chunk of loving is floating around unattached at the moment. I have to start bringing some of that chunk into use between Matt and I again and I am hoping you really want to as well. Try to forget that day and just leave Matt and I to sort it between ourselves." Kevin looked stricken, not quite in tears he replied, "I'm sorry Jase, you see the reason I have kept away from you both is that until the piss thing came up I was almost spaced out on what we were doing to you. It was so erotic my orgasms were mind blowing. I guess I feel ashamed." I smiled, "Yes it was pretty raunchy wasn't it. You know I was turned on a lot of the time as well, orgies are a lot of fun aren't they. Matt just went over the top with the punishment but most of the sex was great." Kevin looked stunned. "Gosh, would you like to do it again then?" "Possibly, but we have a long walk back to the relationship that would allow the three of us to get together again like that." "Thanks Jase, I'll try with Matt." A couple of days later Matt was smiling when I came home. "I've done all my homework if you want to check it Jase, and I've done all the preparation for dinner. It just needs your magic touch to turn it into supper." "Thank you Matt, you sound very chipper tonight. Did something good happen to you today?" "Yeah, Kev and I got in a long talk today. He told me he was worried about what we did to you and how evil I had been but you straightened him out. Thanks Jase, I owe you my best friend now alongside everything else." He dropped his eyes then. I knew why of course, he didn't want me to see the sadness and the longing. "When are we likely to see him come over here again then?" "If it's ok with you he would like to come over tomorrow, we both have the same chemistry test so we can work together on it." "Good, I will use his visit to give you ten witnessed strokes of the cane on your bare bottom as the first part of your punishment." The shock on Matt's face had me gripping the side of the table to stop me falling over I was laughing so hard. "Well that is certainly different from the hang dog look we have had for the last month." "You don't mean it then Jase?" "No you Klutz, why would I want to punish you now?" "I don't know maybe to embarrass me and humiliate me in front of my friend." "Jeez, you do have a low opinion of me don't you?" "No Jase, but I know I deserve punishing like that." Nothing more was said on the subject but I could see Matt was very thoughtful for the remainder of the evening. He sat next to me on the settee that night but not too close and not obviously looking for a cuddle so I didn't. The next evening was a shock. Kevin was in the lounge but no Matt. "Hi Kev, good to see you here, where's Matt?" "When he saw your car pull up he told me to stay and he went to his bedroom." I put my briefcase down and was just going to head for the kitchen and a well needed beer when Matt walked in. He was stark naked and carrying the dreaded cane. He looked beautiful. I had missed looking at and touching that body. I wanted him so much this was just too much. He came up to me and stood in front of me looking me straight in the eyes. "You joked about witnessed punishment last night Sir, but you were right I should be punished in front of my best friend and lover because you both know I was evil. Please cane me, I beg you to beat the evil out of me. I know I won't deserve either of you again until I feel that cane on my bottom. Ten you said, please give them to me, make them very hard so that I will know how evil I was." I took the cane from him and told him to go and get dressed. "Don't be silly Matt, I'm not going to cane you." I turned to go to the kitchen. "I'm serious this time Jase. If you don't punish me to allow me to forgive myself I will leave here. I love you so much but I can't live with my shame any longer, you have to punish me. I have to be punished for my evil." "No Matt, I nearly died giving you two hard slaps once I can't cane you." He sagged a little and said, "I'm sorry then Jase." He went back to his room and I got my beer. I sat making small talk with Kevin until I finished it and then got up to go and change before making dinner. I walked into the hall as Matt came out of his room, dressed and carrying his rucksack. "Where on earth are you going?" "I told you Jase, I'm leaving." "Don't be silly, go and put your things away and come and entertain Kevin while I sort supper." "No, no, no. Not this time Jase." I held him and looked at the determination in his eyes. I didn't know how I would ever find him if he ran away. I knew how many thousands of kids just disappeared every year, I would die without him but if I did what he asked I would die a little with him. "Alright, go and get naked. Kitchen in five minutes. Kevin, kitchen in five minutes to witness punishment." As instructed both boys came out to the kitchen together. "Now understand this. I am going to punish you Matt but I want your promise, and yours Kevin that this will close the affair completely. Do you agree Kevin?" "Yes Jase." "Do you agree Matt?" "Yes Jase provided you put plenty of effort into my ten strokes. If you just pussy around it won't count. Kevin you have to give me ten as well." "Now that's enough Matt, ten hard ones from me will be more than enough." "No Jase, ten each." "You will be unconscious long before you have received twenty Matt." "Ok, up to twenty but you can stop if I lose consciousness." Jesus he wasn't going to let this go. "Alright Matt, bend over the table." I went to my room and got all my belts. I buckled a couple together and strapped Matt to the table at his waist. I took two more and strapped his ankles, one to each leg. "That is to ensure you don't move Matt. You can count them as I administer them and continue counting when Kevin takes over. Anytime you can't take more you stop counting and we stop caning." His butt looked so cute and I knew it would be a real mess when we finished. I was crying as I started. I made them hard but not too hard. I started high and tried to space them close but not touching. I wasn't very good, he was screaming after one and by six just whimpering but still counting. Kevin took over at ten and laid the next ten. Matt was screaming again so Kevin eased off a bit. Matt counted to the full twenty but his bottom looked awful. I left him strapped down and went for the first aid kit. I was as gentle as possible but he screamed as soon as I touched him. It was punishment all over again as I gently rubbed the salve into his bottom. He would be blue for weeks. We carried him to bed and returned to the lounge. "As close as possible Kev we have to follow his wishes. Do you still love him?" "Oh God yes Jase, but I couldn't understand what he did to you. I know he loves you so much but to do that to you to prove your love for him was unbelievable. I didn't know how to handle it." I laughed. "That makes two of us, I have been falling apart trying to understand it. I'm still not sure I do fully but I guess we have to let it go now and get Matt back to normal." "Yeah, I guess." It was a very quiet and sober supper before I showed Kevin out and went back to Matt to apply another lot of salve. He was asleep so I covered him and left him for the night. My bedside clock said one o clock when he crawled into my bed with me keeping his ass off the bed he wrapped himself round me and crying softly he said. "I'm sorry Jase. I hurt so much, please cuddle me." Not a problem, it felt wonderful to have him snuggled up to me again. I woke refreshed and almost lightheaded. The trauma was over. We would take a few weeks to get Matt's bottom pink again instead of blue and purple which it was at the moment, but for the rest we were on the way up. Kevin started coming round again and sleeping over, but only in Matt's bed. He also kept me informed of their progress towards normality. I had to stifle my laughter a few times. Matt was screwing Kevin because his bottom was still too sore for Kevin to resume normal service. It sounded as though he was enjoying it so much that they would be going turn and turn about as the bottom boy. I was as horny as hell but didn't touch either of them sexually. Lots of cuddles though. Not a huge amount more sex in the story so leave here if sex is the only thing you are looking for.