Date: Mon, 24 Dec 2018 00:43:46 +0000 From: smokinghenry Subject: Dad, I'm Gay (youth-adult) Please support Nifty to keep these stories coming. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html This is my first time I put pen to paper, and I do hope that you enjoy it. This story is fiction and all characters are a figment of my imagination. I would love to get feedback from you smokinghenry@protonmail.com Dad, I'm gay CHAPTER 1 Dad Standing there,with my faithful glass of whiskey in my hand, I was looking out over at the farm fields. I could not see anything as it was way past midnight, but it didn't matter as I was registering nothing. All I could think of was my son John, the look in his eyes of complete hate while he for the first time ever in his young life swore at me. That words that felt like a knife right in my hart, so painful cold. " Dad! I fucking hate you! You do not know me." My son, my John. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, how can those beautiful eyes look at me with so much hate. I have notice over the past two years that my John is changing. I'm not talking about how his body has change into now this beautiful bronze body, His muscles developing in perfect harmony or his super white hair changing to a a light dirty blond color or even the moods swings as young boys get when hormones start kicking in. No, I'm talking in his behavior. He grew distant from the rest of the family. In my stupidity I thought it was part of the hormone thing. He never wanted to go with us anywhere, never want to play board games, altho we made him it was with such effort like he did not want to be with us. Ooo and I must say I just hate cellphones, he is glued to his. The past 4 months it just grew to levels that it meant me and him always arguing and tonight was the worse it ever been See today I haven't seen him since launch time, he said he is going to the little farm dam. He took his fishing rod and off he went like so many times before, but being a growing boy he was always in time when there is food on the table. But not today. He missed supper and I went looking for him. I found his fishing rod at the dam but no John, the rod was still in its casing. I looked everywhere , went back home and started phoning the neighbors and soon everyone was out in full force looking for him. Me and the wife and his brother was hysterical, and at 11pm he walks into the kitchen as nothing has happened. My wife and youngest son just grabbed him and hugging him,crying and he was looking at them like what in the world are they doing. I must admit I was crying as well. After the hugging and everything and sending neighbors home I took him to the room and asked where he was. All he could say the whole time that its got nothing to do with me and anyone else. So the arguing started and the next thing he was standing there, fist ready to fight while he uttered those hurtful word son "What is he looking at? There is nothing outside just plain darkness?! He thinks he knows everything but he knows nothing of me." I thought to myself watching my dad standing on the dark porch with his drink in hand. I could see that I have upset his so much today and when I told him how much I hate him I could see how deeply I did hurt him. GOOD! I was so ready to punch him. I knew he would have done nothing as in all my live he never did once gave me and my brother any form of corporal punishment ever. He is a huge man 6.4 in his socks, build like a brick shit house. I have never seen him cry ever in my life but now as he standing there I could see he was crying silently. It felt good but it did hurt me as well . My mother knows for some reason when he goes outside like that, staring at nothing, just to leave him alone. She always told us when he is like that to go to our rooms and take a nap. Now I understand why, he is silently crying. He usually goes and stand at the windmill but tonight he did just stands on the dark porch. Yes I know what I'm doing to him and my mom is wrong and yes after tonight I knew that I'm hurting them and they really do not deserve it, but how must I tell them that I am in love with a man. How must I tell them I am gay and in love with their neighbor that my dad grew up with and trusted with his life. "HOW?!!!!!!" I screamed out load and saw my dad turning and looking at my bedrooms window. I was hoping he would come and hold me but he turned around and walked of to the windmill CHAPER 2 son My little brother woke me up the next morning. He was just 12 years old but in so many ways he was just 10 still. He asked me why I'm still dressed in yesterdays clothes . I just never answered him. He told me that mom asked if I'm going to church with them and if I know where dad is. I told him no and no and as he was leaving the room he looked around and with love streaming out of his blue eyes just said "if you ever do that again what you did last night, I will kill you" all I could say is sorry when I heard them leaving I stood up and took a shower. With the warm water flowing over me I thought of yesterday. It played over and over in my head and I loved every minute of it up to the time I came home then my thoughts sadden. Mark is a sexy beast of a man and lives on the farm right next to ours. He is shorter than my dad and defiantly not as muscular as him as well. He has dark brown hair and is clean shaven, witch is so different from the rest of the folks around. Every man I know does have these huge beards even if it does not fit their outer look. And his eyes, those green eyes that I cant help staring at. I have known Mark since I was a baby and my whole life I used to call him uncle Mark. About a year ago uncle Mark asked me if I would like to join his angling club he belonged to. My dad was there when he asked me and he did approve. So every month we went out angling on competitions and started talking with each other not only about fishing but about life in general. At one point I did let it fall that I might like boys when he asked me about if I had a girlfriend. He just looked at me and started to laugh saying its normal with hormones ruling my life now. We never did talk about that again and we grew closer to each other, he was my second dad. I always wondered why uncle Mark never did remarry after his wife was murdered on their honeymoon, but I never did dare to ask. As my dad says, "somethings you just leave alone as they will tell you when the time is right" About 4 months ago I slept over at his place, we where leaving for a competition very early in the morning and was a distance to travel. So we could not take a change to be late. That night was the best night of my life. We had supper and went for late night swimming, o yes it was skinny dipping and it was my first time skinny dipping with a adult. We played games in the pool till we where so exhausted that we barely made it back to the house. We dried off and and just sat there on the porch in all our glory. It felt so good sitting here, looking at this man and he looked at me. "i love you uncle Mark" I said and he answered back. "Wish you knew how much I really love you John?" Nothing much more happened that night. We showered and went to bed. But ever since then me and Mark started talking more and more about our feelings. We talked more about being gay and to be honest it felt good talking to someone about the feelings I have had for the past few years. All we did was talk , never did we talk about the feelings we had for each other. I never dared tell him that I have fallen in love with him, that was till yesterday. When he sms me asking to join him at our farm dam for a bit of practice fishing I was so excited . When I came there and he never brought his fishing gear with I knew something was odd. He took me by the hand and let me sit right next to him.,placing my fishing gear on the bank of the dam "John, we really need to talk" Mark said with a tear in his green eyes.. I immediately went cold , though that he is going to tell me we can never fish or see each other again. I started cry and he just looked at me, holding my hand a bit tighter. "John I don't know how to say this...." I looked at him and just couldn't hold back as I saw how scared he was, I was crying so much I could hardly see his green eyes anymore. "John I love you very much, but not in the way I should be, I love you in the same way a man should only love a women" and then he started crying and crying. It took a bit before I realized what was just said and my feeling of complete sadness disappeared . All I could do is hold him and hug him and and and then I started kissing him. First on the forehead, as my dad always do when I'm sad, then on the cheeks and out of the blue I started kissing him on the lips. He did not resist but stopped crying and kissed me back. First as how a mom kisses a child with just the lips but then I could feel his lips partnering and I felt his tong waiting at my lips, I open my lips and could feel how his tong explore my mouth. It really felt so good I didn't want to stop. As we kissed I could not only taste the toothpaste but I could taste the saltiness of tears entering my mouth, mine or his I didn't care . I LOVE THIS MAN. After we broke our kiss we just sat there for seems like for ever just looking at each other before he spoke "God your dad is going to kill me" and the ice was broken. We did talk and talk and eventually decided to go to his place . There we could not stop talking and declaring our love for each other. He told me how he fell in love with me and how he was fighting against it. He told me even the date he did fall in love , it was on our second competition together. I told him when I did fall in love with him and how I never dare said anything. We laugh and talk, even about his wife till the phone rang, it was my dad asking if Mark can come help look cause I'm gone. He wanted to say but he is here but I showed him NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I told him I would walk back to our farm as it was not that far, about two miles and he must go help look and to please not tell anyone I was here. He was not happy bout it but he understand me, I know he knew that I wanted to use that time alone to digest everything that happened to me. Think he had a hard time acting like he does not know where I am while everyone was out looking for me. Needless to say I couldn't find my phone today as I knew my dad would have locked it in the safe as punishment or as part of punishment for last night. Then it occurred to me, dad did not go to church, my brother did not even knew where he was. It was in the safe, he placed my phone there, did he read my sms's to Mark .. has he gone to Mark I was so scared and wanted to run to Marks place but decided against it. I just had to sit and wait for dad , even if I am scared shitless CHAPTER 3 DAD I was standing at the farm gate, I really did not know what to do. I went to my father this morning for advise. After I have told him everything he looked at me and just gave me the biggest hug ever. "son" he said " your child needs a father now to lead him and show him he cares and loves him. He doesn't need a shouting match now, he needs you. Just remember he will always love you." then he started a soft laugh reminding me that he had more or less the same problems with me and that we used to fight allot as well then a light went up. Its time for just a father and son get away, where John cant go anywhere or hide. We will be together till we have talk this out. With that I drove straight to the house, went in and saw John sitting at the kitchen table. I could see the absolute fear in his blue eyes, the same eyes that had so much hate in it a few hours ago. I just walked to him and hugged him. He did not hug back "Ok" I said "pack your camping bags and have enough warm and summer clothing for at least a week. Me and you and the road in 10 minutes. We taking a dad and son week. And don't worry about school, that will still be there when we get back I let him go and I phoned my wife telling her about what is going on, that me and john will be back in a week or so. Told her that we leaving the phones here and that I will phone her where ever we end up the day. She still argued about school and and and.. you know how women can nag, I just told her "Our son needs me now" I phoned Mark and asked him to keep a eye on the farm and my wife as I will be away for a bit. He asked me where I was going but I just told him away with my son I went packing, loaded up the SUV and waited for him. John only appeared 20 minutes later with blood red swollen eyes of crying son I saw my dad driving up to the house like he meant it, as he walked into the kitchen I could see in his eyes that he has plans for me.. I was so scared. I was wondering if Mark told him or did he find out ... then he hugged me. A real big hug and told me I must go get my stuff we leaving. I was so scared that he was chasing me away, but then it came to me, only me and him are going away and will be back in a week and that I will go to the same school when I come back. I cried the whole time as I was packing, or rather stuffing things into two bags. On my way to the SUV I saw that dad already packed my tent and sleeping bags . I cant stop crying I'm so scared In the car he gave me a hanky and told me. "You will leave your tears here today as you have nothing to be scared of" and that he is my father and he loves me and will never hurt or do anything that will hurt me. I just looked at him, knowing that I'm the one that will hurt him so much if the truth ever comes out. We drove of to the main road where he asked me, left or right? I looked at him." dad where we going?" he just replied "to where ever the road takes us and till we can make peace with each other" I just looked at him and thought he will a cold day in hell before we can make peace with me being in love with Mark, I just pointed to the left. We turned left and carried on for miles and miles, not saying a word. It was only when we stopped to refuel at the second little town that we spoke. He asked me what I want for launch... take away or sitting in the dinner. I did not answer. So he took it on himself to get a take away burger and fries. As we drove further he tried his best to talk with me. I did not answer him, not even a yes or a no, then he did the most evil thing ever a dad can do to a son. He put on his kind of music.... OPERA ... but I showed him. I never said a word till we stopped to get supper, refuel and he phoned mom. I was thinking about a old movie that my brother loved while he was phoning. I kept saying in my head "ET phone home" while I'm looking at him. And was smiling at myself while doing it. We had some steak and fries and afterward s we went to the motel just down the street. I was happy cause I couldn't stand his music and he knows it. The sleeping arrangement was bad, apparently they have only one room with a double bed in it. We had to share the bed as there was nothing else in the room, not even a chair, just a broken TV. The shower and toilet was open, just a wall as high as my hips divided the bathroom from the rest of the room. I was not happy at all dad The child is saying nothing to me, I'm trying and trying and nothing. Not even questions about his biggest fish , witch he always brag about could make him talk. I bought us burgers and coke and drove further. Then I decided to put on some opera to see if he will at least tell me to turn it of. He never did but I could see how he hates it... when we drove up to a town just before 6pm I decided to let us have dinner and sleep at the motel. We order some steaks or rather I did order as he refused to speak, and while waiting for the food to arrived I phoned home telling my wife of our day so far.. then I saw it, out the corner of my eye I saw him saying something to himself and then smiling, now I know he likes me suffering and is enjoying it, well two can play that game I went to the motel asking for a room with only 1 bed in it. I explained to the night manager that I am trying to sort things with my son. He looked at me and smiled like "I know what you up to" smile and gave me the key for room nr. 3. I was so surprised to see the room. Just a double bed . A shower, basin and a toilet with a wall that is is so low dividing the bathroom from the room that I almost decided to go ask for two rooms, but I did stick to my plan. I could see he hated it as well but said nothing. We didn't even shower at all just went to bed, sleeping in our sleeping bags on top of the bed covers. Just before I fell asleep I turned around , looked at him and said "night son and I love you." He did not turn around but I could hear his say "love you back, night" and then as if suddenly remembers that he is not talking to me , he covered his head with the pillow. CHAPTER 4 Dad I struggled to sleep the rest of the night, my thoughts wouldn't allow me at all. I was thinking on what am I doing wrong, what am I missing. Is my son on drugs or belong to some cult..... then I heard john standing up. I tried to make if I was still sleeping, but I knew he knew that I was awake. I listened as he went to have his morning pee, a strong flow so he must have his morning glory in full swing. I turned around just as he was getting in to the shower. I was shocked. I have not seen my son naked since he was about 11, he stopped walking nude when the first little black hair appeared above the base of his then little penis with the longest foreskin I have ever seen. Now here he stand in his full glory, his dick was entering the shower first. I would guess about 5 ½ inches and still with the longest foreskin I have ever seen, but I could see why he steals one of my razors from time to time. It was in no way for his beard as he is as smooth as a babies bottom still, he shaves his pubes... I was proud of my not a boy anymore bout my son the 15 yo man standing there, I could not take my eyes of him. "Morning" I said when he saw that I was looking at him, "when we finish showering, me and you need to talk." I saw the look of what the hell now about in his face then he rolled his eyes... nothing abnormal for him to this,what child don't ,i still do sometimes when my wife looks at me with the we need to talk look in her eyes. Son God I need to piss and he is not snoring so he is awake, but yea I must go,boner or not. I tried for him not to see my boner as I went to the toilet,good he was pretending to sleep. Its not easy peeing with a boner but yea it was done now,why did it sound like a waterfall. I undress behind the low wall and got in the shower before he can see, I hope this thing will go down as I can't take a morning wank now, I will die if he see me wanking. Then I saw him watching me up and down and actually staring at my boner, I'm dieing a few deaths, and now he knows I shave down there.... o God, o God Now he wants to talk, what about? Does he want to give me lip because I shave my ball's. Its 4 am, the sun is not even up and now he wants to talk about my pubes, or the lack there of. Lucky for me my boner went down and I could get out the shower. I'm not going to hide my dick as he saw me with my boner. He took his pee and got in the shower, wait, am I seeing right, he has a boner as well and he is huge. Its about 7 inches but thick as a coke can. I could not help but to stare. He cant say anything about me shaving, his dick is hairless as well. I had a boner again he came out the shower and dried himself. "Ok John,lets make some ground rules for the rest of the trip" he said while sitting down naked on the bed, my eyes followed his now softening dick as he did so "Son? You have seen me naked before, and you know all men have a morning glory when they wake up." my eyes looked up and met his eyes. I could see he was calm and relaxed, so I'm not in trouble. We made some ground rules that both agreed on. The first rule was about the opera music, no opera as long as we chatted, no matter what about but we needed just to chat. He asked me if I smoke and if I do I can smoke in front of him, but lucky I don't smoke. I agreed that I will speak to mom when he phones her, but he had to promise that we will never ever sleep in a motel room like this again. He got dressed, and yes I could not help to stare. I was comparing his with Mark's and Mark came up a little bit shy of my dads. We decided to pack the car now and drive of and eat breakfast in the next town. We packed the car, dropped the key in a drop box and of we went. We drove about about a two hours I think. I fell asleep and dad woke me up. "look to the right son" he said and as I looked. I saw the biggest dam I ever in my life. No this is no dam, this is the ocean, I have never seen the ocean before and this was awesome especially with the sun rising like a big ball of fire behind it. I was totally spell bound. We haven't driven far before a little town popped up and we stopped at a small shop. We had to wait a full hour for the restaurant to open. It opens only at 9 and it was only 8am now. So we drove of to go park next to the beach and had a stroll while we waited. The waves sounded like a small gun shot before the sea pushes its wave up onto the beach, was so calming. Dad It was a bit awkward looking and trying to speak to your son if you don't know what is giving him such rebellious actions. I don't want to start a verbal fight now. And it still bothering me that he stare so much at my nudity this morning. I didn't know what to make of that., just decided that all boys look at their dads erections. I did. "So son this is your first time at the ocean, what you think?." all he could say its awesome, how I hate that word. A few steps further I tried again,"what you think we find the camping ground here and stay here till the morning? Maybe we can take a swim in it" he stopped and look at me and then back to the waves breaking on the nearby rocks. "I would love that very much but I didn't pack any swimwear?" I looked at him and thought since when did he bother about swimming gear. Pt shorts was the norm after skinny dipping as I remember. "We will get you a pair if you like?" I answered him back. After that I tried a few times speaking to him, but other than yes, no and maybe, no meaningful conversation happened. I decided its time for breakfast. We left the SUV in the parking lot and walk to the restaurant . Was not even a two minute walk. We had a full English breakfast. Afterward we sit back and enjoyed a cup of coffee. The best cup I had in a long time. I started talking with waiter/cook/owner to found out where the camping grounds was located and where I could get a shop to buy swimwear. He started laughing saying that this is a small fishing village and there is no shops other than his that sell some basic stuff. If we want we can go to the next town about 200 kilometers further up and assured me they have everything we needed, he also said they don't have camping grounds here but directed me to a special spot where he sometimes goes to do some camping and fishing with his son. I did decide just there and then we staying over night at that spot. I phoned the wife and she was a bit worried that we are going to stay at a place where there is nothing at all. John spoke to her as well. I don't know what was said but he had a good laugh, I was happy After I bought some stuff that we will need. I did not had a big choose to choose from so basic it was sodas, meat, wood, smokes, two cooler boxes and some ice we went back to the SUV. As we got in the man of the restaurant came up to me and told me he sells some beers as well but I may never tell anyone about it. Yea like the rest of this little town don't know where to get their drinks from. I bought a 12 pack and the man offered to go show us the special spot. We drove behind him and after a bit we went off road between the sand dunes. I never felt so happy that this SUV was a all wheel drive. We came to a stop in between two massive rocks to the left and right side of us, and the big wide open ocean just a few meters away from us. It was like a scene out a real romantic movie. Even John said its perfect and then looked at me. "Now if I had my cellphone I could have taken a few pictures and send it to mom and Mark." I thought nothing about the Mark bit as they are fishing buddies and I knew Mark would have enjoyed to do some fishing here. Me and the man did talk a bit and he told me he will send his son over later with some real fishing gear as ours is for fresh water and the fish here will break it. And he gave us a shovel to be used when mother nature calls. Of he went and me and john where all alone in this picture perfect place. I really need to bring the rest of the family here I promised my self. CHAPTER 5 dad It was about 12pm when we finished setting up camp. The tent was up and the shade cover was pulled between the SUV and the rock on the left side. We did forget to put in some fold up chairs but the cool boxes did the trick even thou it was not very comfy, but at least it wasn't on the ground. John wanted to use the toilet for a nr2 and I gave him the shovel and pointed to the other side of the rock. He took it with out a word and of he went to the the opposite side I showed him. "Hey!! I showed that way?!" he laughed at me and said " You really want me to go up wind from you!" I looked at him and started laughing as well only to realize that he can think for himself now, he is no longer my little baby boy. Son I love it, I love it. This place is awesome. Our camping site is perfect and I really hope that guys son will bring some fishing rods. I really want catch a fish here. When I spoke to mom this morning I told her about the crappy motel room with the low wall. That we could see everything while we did our business when we got up.. she replied with a "o my dear" I could hear her blushing "i just hope that you didn't get a fright when you saw him using the toilet, he tents to be very hmmmmm happy in the morning" I just started laughing and could not stop. Then I told her I was happy as well but blamed it on a man curse that was bestowed on us men. All she did was shout out my name and put down the phone . And now we here, looks like a camping site made only by Gods hands. It was not long after we finished setting up the camp site my tummy wanted to go. I told dad where I'm going and before I could take the shovel he handed to me and pointed me to where he thinks I must go. I sooooooo wanted to go his way but decided rather to go the other way. I really did not want the smell flouting into our campsite. Uncool. My dad stated to me that he wanted me that way and I just had to tell him that this way is far better. I could see he smiled after my bit of logic. Was fun being one in front of my dad for once. After I done my thing, I did cover the hole up again and left two rocks staged on top of each other to pin point the hole. I really didn't want a nasty surprise if I had to dig again. I walked back to the site and saw dad started to make a fire for launch and then I was shocked to see him do something I never thought he does. He was smoking. "DAD?!" is all I could say or rather shouted. He looked at me and started laughing. "so we all have secrets, and if you tell your mom there will be blood on your hands. She will kill me" I couldn't believe what I'm seeing but decided to play it cool. I went and sit down next to him but couldn't stop staring at him doing this BIG sin of smoking. Now its my turn to get him back. "Care to inlight me where this comes from?!' looking him straight in the eyes and trying my best to put on the most serious face I have had. Would love him now to feel how he is making me feel dad While he was on the other side of the rock I decided to light a fire. Time to make some food as I was getting thin here. Then it strike me, maybe I must shock him so he can see I have secrets as well. As he came around the rock I could see his face. SUCCESS. His look was priceless. I brushed him off by telling him that he must keep it a secret from my wife, ha then the little shit wanted me to tell him why I am smoking..... just as I thought he would. "Well son, I don't need to tell you anything, but why do a dad need to have a secret from his son" I told him as I look him in the eye. "I smoke and have been for many years, your mom hates it and gets crazy mad if I smoke,so I would appreciate it if this stays between just the two of us?" I tried to sound if I really know he wouldn't say a word. He came and sit next to me and took the soda I handed to him. It was a bit quiet before I suggested that we go for a swim till we wait for the coals to cool down a bit before we put the meat on.. He complained that we never did get some swimming trunks. I looked at him, stood up and strip stark naked, and ran to the water. "Well just you and me around" I shouted while running. Fuck the water was cold but I didn't dare to retreat . I will never hear the end of that. I waited a few minutes in the water, but he was just looking at me, didn't move a inch. Next moment this old beat up beetle appears and a young lad of about 19 appeared out of it. A thin blond boy came closer to the camp site and was talking to John. Now what?I'm naked and got this boy in camp that I don't know. So I guess I stay just here. The next moment the boy undress and joined me in the ocean. What the fuck . He came to me and introduced himself as Steven and his dad send him with some fishing gear for us. He informed me that he and his dad comes here a lot, and yea skinny dipping and fishing is the normal thing to do here. Sounds like everyone that comes here does it I couldn't help noticing that he had a deep golden brown tan on him and there where no tan lines either. A real bubble butt guy this. His flaccid 4 inch cut cock was floating just under the water. We talked about this and that and he gave tips on the fishing. I think John heard we where talking about fishing because he was there in the water next to us with his undies on. Steven looked at him and said "dude, keeping your undies on while the rest is naked means you want to be noticed" and then he carried on talking to me. John just gave him a look and it must have made sense to him as he took the undies of and trowed it on the beach. We all swam a bit before he said lets get some fish. We didn't bother to put on clothes and Steven and John did some fishing while I was getting the meat cooked. When the meat was done I called them over and then I saw what I have been missing the whole time. As they where walking back I could see that both of them had semi hardons. John tried hiding his but Steven could not care less. When they arrived Steven made excuse as he needs to get home and got dressed. I told him I will drop of the gear at his father in the morning. As he drove of John was starting to dress and I told him, why bother,we going nude the whole day. The rest of the day after launch we just did some fish, even if we could only manage a few seaweeds being pulled out and we swam allot. The whole time I was asking myself how am I going to talk about what I think is going on with out upsetting him son My dad lost it, naked in the ocean and he wants me to join. Is he nuts or was he actually smoking weed. Then I heard this little ugly car pull up and out came this sexy looking man out the car. He was not much older than me, but a slim sexy blond. He came up to me and introduced him as Steven and he brought some fishing gear for us to use. He look at my father and started laughing asking if he was naked as he is not coming out the water. I told him yea he was . The next moment he undresses and run to the water. I could not take my eyes from him. His golden brown deep tan, his rounded ass as he was running with no tan lines, I was hard . I decided to join them, but in my undies, and when I came up to them Steven said "dude, keeping your undies on while the rest is naked means you want to be noticed" . It made sense yes, I am the one here that is different from the rest. I took my undies of and threw it on the beach. We swam and played some games before my dad went to go and cook the meat while we did some nude fishing. This is fun. Being nude with a person that I don't know from a bar of soap made me feel like I have known him for years. We sat down on the one big rock over hanging a bit over the water and we started chatting "John, why where you shy? With a cock like yours at your age I would have been proud!" I just looked at him and he continued telling me how beautiful I was." do you have a girlfriend?" he asked me and before I even thought his question over I told him " no! I have a boyfriend that I really love very much" I could not believe what I just said. He looked at me and asked "does your dad know?" I told him no and that I think my dad will catch a fit if he must found out. Then I start telling him about Mark . Everything. He just listened and when I described Marks body I saw he was getting a semi. I asked him about it and he just looked at me. "dude you have a full hardon, I cant help it when I look at that" I blushed as we heard my dad calling. We stood up and I tried hiding my now semi hard dick. Steven did nothing to hide . When we came to my dad Steven got dress and said he had to go. I walked with him to his car and as he said goodbye he gave me a small kiss on the cheek and said. "just tell your dad, don't live a lie, you will only be unhappy" as he drove of I was thinking to myself that others don't have my dad. CHAPTER 6 son The rest of the day we did some fishing, but caught nothing. As the sun was setting my dad asked me to start a fire. We did not bother to get dress as it was still very warm. I was thinking about Stevens words and how good it felt just to be myself with someone else. No need to hide my gay thing from him. Talk freely about my love and I was not judged. It was awesome . My dad hold out a beer to me "What the fuck dad?" I said dad I have asked John to start the fire. We are just going to warm up the left over meat, sadly there was no bread or salads to go with it, just steaks. As I was wondering how to start talking to him I handed him a beer. He is 15 I think he can handle a beer. He was shocked to say the lease "Take it son. You old enough to have a beer with your dad " he took it but I could see the disbelieve in his eyes. As we started sipping from our beers I could see that he had beer before. Mark has obvious given him beer before on those angling trips "John, this shit ends today." I said while looking at him. I could see he wanted to say something, but I just showed him to be silent as I carry on. "you are my oldest son, the apple of my eye and I can see that you hurting inside and that is hurting me so much I cant bare it any more" tears started slowly building up behind my eyelids. "i don't care what it is, I just want you to tell me what it is as I cant help you if I don't know" now the tears started slowly running down my cheek and I could see that his tears is close as well "what ever it is. If I like it or not, it is your life and you must live it. I just cant stand to see you unhappy like this. If you happy I am happy. We are sitting across each other naked as the day we where born, we don't have anything to hide from each other. For fuck sake I am your dad and love you so deeply it hurts when I see you hurting" then I did the full on silent cry thing and he was crying as well. He stood up and gave me a hug and a kiss, but said nothing. Son. We started to drink the beer, I have not had one months now. I only drink a beer when we do over night competitions and only 1 as Mark say, "you dad will hang me by the balls." Then he started talking, I wanted to say stop dad I will tell you but I couldn't as I knew what he was saying came from deep inside him and I must not interfere now. My God, he is crying in front of me, no he is crying for me. My God I am crying and I could not stop. Even when he finished I kept crying, yes crying with my dad, this big man, all I could do is hug and kiss him, but no words could escape from my mouth. I sat down I tried to compose myself while he was looking at me, his eyes asking me to please just give him something. "Dad" I started with a little tremble in my voice "Dad..... I am....... g..g..gay" is all I could say. I just sat down and started crying like a small baby, he stood up and put out his hand to me. I ducked thinking he is going to smack me now.. but no he just stood there with his hand out to me till I took it. He lifted me up and looked me straight in the eyes. "you are my son, and I love you and are so very proud. You are a man now" he hugged me . Dad "Dad I am gay" he told me. I could not help but I wanted to hug him and tell him I don't care. I pulled him closer and did just that. It felt like the weight of the world was taken from me. My son has shared his pain with me, is it a pain? No, he shared his deepest secret with me and I feel so happy bout it. He is free now to be himself We ended up the evening just talking about everything that came to mind, we never ate anything, just had 6 beers each and he was a bit tipsy, I didn't care. I had my son back. He spoke about how he founded out he is gay and how hard it was. And that he only now feel that he is ok with that. I made a joke asking about grand kids, he just laughed and asked me if I missed biology classes in school. It was well after midnight when we went to our tents to sleep. It was not long and I felt him sliding in next to me. We said night and fall asleep. I hugged him as we slept. The next morning the sun made the tent feel like a oven in no time. "Dad wake up, your coke can is pushing up my crack" I just laughed and stood up. I hate morning glories, but I was not alone. We stood just out the camp site and let it rip. Both of peeing into the air. After we finished he went around the rock and I knew why as I was going around the other one. There is nothing like a good-morning wank. As I was about to shoot my load he came around the corner and I shot my load in front of his feet. "geez dad sorry, thought you where having a crap and I just came for the shovel" I felt so embarrassed and he could see I was well lit red . He just laughed and said . "Don't worry dad I just did the same on the other side" After we packed up we went for a last swim. I told him we can go back home or go ahead for a few more days. He asked me if we could rather go back. I knew why. I told him all cool but we have to take a detour on our way back as I really want to show him something. We agreed. We got dressed and went back to restaurant, I could not thank the man enough and John gave him a letter that he must give to Steven. We ate breakfast and told him that we will be back soon. I have decided that this place, this special spot was only for me and John. Our little special place juts for the two of us. I would make a point of it for the rest of my life that while my sons live under my roof I will make time for them and take each one alone on a father and son trip. The amount of bonding that happened in the past 24 hours I could never have done while at home with every one around. We drove back and stopped at many little towns in between. We got gifts for those at home. When night fall came we where still about four hour out and we decided to spend the night at a motel. Nooooooo never again THAT motel. I first asked for two rooms and my son looked at me why. "dad we can share a room again" OK one room it was. We ate dinner in the room and he asked if we could have a beer. I said no. I couldn't believe the amount of talking we where doing. He shared so many things with my, sometimes over sharing, but it was good. We showered and went to bed, each in our own single bed and nudity was no issue anymore. He got up in the middle of the night, went to the toilet and climb in next to me. The is no better feeling in this word of having your son in your arms when you go sleep. I did forget to phone home son After we started back home we stopped at restaurant, I asked the guy for a piece of paper and wrote Steven a thank you letter dear Steven I just want to thank you for the amassing time yesterday. You made me feel good about myself. For the first time in my life I was just me. Thank you. I have listen to what you said and decided to tell my dad everything, and no he was not mad at me. We hugged and cried and even slept together . Nooo we didn't do anything as he is my dad, I love only Mark in that way my nr, is 555 555 1982 please call me when you want as I would love to have you as a friend love John I gave it to his father and of we went. In the SUV me and dad started talking like never before, the road flew past. We stopped in 3 towns to have launch and bought gifts for mom and my brother. Yes I didn't forget, a neck-less for Mark in the shape of a hart. My dad only asked last night if I had someone special in my life. I said no but could see he didn't believe me but never asked about it again. As we where talking in the car I told him that I could not believe the amount of cum he shot today. He just went blood red and asked me please to tell no one ever. He asked me when did I start shaving my pubes and I told him since the day I could cum, I hated the cum sticking to my hair. He just went red again. Think he don't like it that much to hear is son talk about sex stuff. We stopped at a motel to overnight. It was a decent motel this time or I would have slept in the SUV. He did ask for two rooms but I let him know one is enough. I didn't want to tell him how safe I felt when sleeping next to him and his arms around me. We had supper in the room and I ask for a beer. He said no. I had to ask, one never know ones luck We slept in our own beds. I was dreaming of Mark and it was a naughty dream. I woke up as I shot my load. If I could remember correctly Mark was sucking me then. I went to the bath room to clean up and couldn't go back to my bed.. it was sticky now.. so I went lay next to dad. I felt safe and knew everything was going to be alright. In the back of my mind it kept coming up, where is he going to take me, what do I need to see, when is he going to find out bout Mark. I drift of to sleep as I really did care at that moment. I was in my dads arms, and he loves me. Even if I have a coke can sticking me in the back at the moment CHAPTER 7 son I woke first the following morning, yes the coke can was still there in my back. How can mom take that thing, poor women. I got up and a silent as possible I went to have my morning shower,with this hardon I'm going to pee in the shower. As I started wanking my dad walk in " sorry bud, but I need to pee" and he went to the toilet. When he finished he climbed in the shower with me. He was just as hard as me. "Mind if I join you" he said while climbing in. like I had a choice in it. He took the soap and my sponge and started washing me. Just a normal dad washing his son type of thing. "dad? I'm hard still" I said to him as I felt a bit embarrassed. He washed me everywhere and I must say it felt good . When he finished he said he is not going to was me there as I must relieve myself first. Then he washed himself. When he was done he got out and was all soft. Me not, I was rock hard. " come on boy, we don't have all day, take a wank so we can go. Tonight I want to sleep in my own bed" he dried him off and went to dress. I decided soon he left to take that wank now. And as I was shooting my load I heard. "nice load, now we are even." and he laughed dad I woke up as my son stood out of bed. I heard the shower going on .. no stuff this I need to pee. I walked in as he started wanking himself. bad luck my boy but I really need to pee. Afterward I joined him in the shower and thought to myself, payback is a bitch. I washed him good and lingered a bit at his lower parts just to keep him fully erect, not touching it at all. I could see he was enjoying it. When I finished I told him I won't wash there as he must relieve himself first. I finished up showering and went to get dress but told him he must hurry up and get the wanking over as I want to go home now. He did like I asked . I was looking at him beating down on that poor stick as if his life depended on it. As he shoots hos load I came in and told him that we even now. He was blood red We ate while we where driving back home. We didn't talk as much like yesterday but he told me I'm a bastard for getting back at him. Hey fair is fair I told him. I drove past my farm "dad you drove past our farm" he said like I'm lost my way. " I told you I'm going to take you some place first" We drove into town and saw Mark there. I could see that Mark was very happy to see us. Asked him where he was going and that we wanted to stop at his place in a bit. He said he going back home now as a matter of fact, but I saw as well a bit of discomfort in both him and Johns faces. We drove into the towns little cemetery and John could not understand what in the world we doing here. I stopped and took him to a grave, a very special grave. Son I was blushing red the whole morning but after a but I saw the funny side to what my dad did, weird but still funny. We didn't talk that much on our way back. I was wonder much about where we going and what will life be now with my dad and obviously my mom now soon as he tells her that I am gay. What will my brother say. Where are we going. When we drove past the farm I tried reminding my dad where we lived. He reminded me about our little detour In town we saw Mark. I was so happy to see him I could barely control myself, I wanted to jump out and go give him a kiss but I knew I couldn't. When dad told him we will first go to his house before we went home I was scared, does my father know, will he kill Mark now. I could see Mark was worried as well. We drove into the cemetery and I was like dad where you taking me but I knew better than to ask now. He drove up to a grave and we got out. As we stood next to the grave of a Ryan Smith my dad took my hand and look me in the eyes "John, son" he started " I want to introduce you to a very special person to me. Meet uncle Ryan" he stated . My mind was going wild here. Is my dad going bananas here, has he lost it. This man is dead why do I need to meet his bones. Is he going to kill me now "Son, I met this man when I was 12, he was a very good man and a wonderful friend" he continued, "When I was 13 this man became more than just a friend, he became my lover." I was shocked, my dad gay. This was to much for me and I just sat down on the grass. "I loved him with all my hart and he loved me. He died just before I met your mother." I could see tears in his eyes but I was confused so much now. My dad and a other man was lovers, my dad and a much older man was lovers, I looked at my dad and was asking him with my eyes to explain and he did "Son, this man, this wonderful man, was my Mark when I was a child" I couldn't believe my ears, my dad knows about me and Mark and he is not mad at me or Mark. I stood up and gave my dad the biggest hug ever. I was crying and knew my dad understood me now. He was where I am now, God thank you for this man I can call my dad Dad I took my son to the grave of my lover when I was a child. I was 13 when he became my lover, he was 60. the best years of my life was with him and yes we had sex but not every day. We spend everyday together yes, but we enjoyed each other company. He took me places, learn me about life but as I say sex was good but our life together was much better. My farm now was once his farm, he left it to me I told my son all bout him and I could see the shock and disbelieve in him, what son want to hear that his dad had a man as a lover. When I told him that the man was my Mark in my young days I could see he understood. And he gave me a hug of pure love As we drove back to Marks place I could see he had so many questions son I got back in the SUV and had a million questions. But I did not know where to start asking. As we drove to Marks place I just looked at my dad and as he read my mind he started with " I knew you where in love with Mark since the night you told me you where gay. You don't have any real friends visiting you so it just left Mark. Does he feel the same way?" I didn't know what to say but "Yes he does dad" and he took my hand into his while stopping next to the road . "Son your kind of love is a forbidden love so please for you and Marks sake, please never tell anyone about it, he is a good man and I trust you with him, but if he ever hurts you please promise me you tell me?" My dad is actually given permission for me and Mark relationship. I was dumb stuck. I understood as well what he said , that this is a life secret just for me, Mark and now my dad "Son you know about my secret now and I know yours, we must take it to our graves I beg you" he told me and I did understand He gave me a kiss on my forehead before driving again. It felt to me like I can trust my dad with anything now, the weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders. I love my dad. We drove to Marks house. And my dad said " you and Mark got lots to talk about, please be home by suppertime tomorrow and tell Mark he must join us for supper." Who is this man, why did I hate him so much just a week ago?, I love him with all my heart . I thought to myself as I got my bag and run towards Mark where he was standing in front of his house. I jumped up and gave him the biggest kiss ever while my dad was still looking on. Mark was in a state dad I stopped the car and told my son how careful he must be now and this is a huge secret , I knew he understood. I know as well if he decides to tell his mom about Ryan that she will tell him that she knows and I have told her everything about Ryan, witch I did When I dropped him of at Mark I decided not to go in. Think Mark was shitting himself by now, let John tell him. I will see him tomorrow with supper and then lay down the rules . As I saw john kiss him I could see how Mark was trying to stop it, but when I gave a wave and drive of I could see that he dropped to his knees and the pure love that followed. As I got home my wife ran out shouting , crying and waving hands in the air. I forgotten to phone her and she was stressed out her mind. Apparently she phoned every police station and morgue between here and the north pole. She asked where John was and I told her I will tell her inside. How in this world am I going to tell her, she will hate me. My youngest was at grannies for the day, they did come fetch him because my wife was beyond stressed out She made me a cup of coffee and as we sat down I told her " Honey, we need to talk" she looked at me with question marks all over her face "Love our son is gay" I told her. She looked at me and said "bout time you find out, I knew he was for years now, and I know he is in love with Mark . Have you never gone true your sons phone yet?" What ? She knows ? Why she never told me and she does not even look mad that he is with Mark now. " No Honey I never did, but please explain what you actually want to tell me?" I asked her as I was a bit confused " Love" she started "i knew our son was gay since the age of 10, I could see how he looks at other boys. And when you took his phone the other day I went thru it and saw the sms's between him and Mark. At first I was mad then I remember your uncle Ryan. I decided that he is 15 and that it is his life I am not in any way going to tell him who to love and who not" "God women,i love you so much now" CHAPTER 8 son "Mark its ok my love, my dad knows and he is cool with it" I told mark as my dad drove of. He was so scared he had a cold sweat. He started crying and I just hold him as he sank to his knees We went inside after awhile before he could start talking. "What you mean your dad cool with it?, he is going to kill me?" I took him into my arms and started telling him that my dad had a Mark is his life as well but I refrained from saying who. I could see that it calmed him a bit and then he just kissed me like I have never been kissed before. He asked me if I was hungry and I said yes as it was late and we only had breakfast on the go this morning. He made us a very nice launch and I really enjoyed it. While eating I told him everything about the past few days, from that shitty motel room up to how my dad got his revenge and he had a good laugh. I told him about what my dad said about our love and how we must keep it a secret and he answered "Well your dad do have a point there" Then he dropped the bombshell on me "Your mom did come see me last nite" "What about?" I asked "She told me that she knows about us, she saw our sms's on your phone. I thought she was going to have me arrested" I looked at him and I was thinking to myself.. o fuck I'm going to lose Mark now "She said" he continued "she will not stop us as you are old enough to decide who you want to love. But she also told me that if I just want to use and abuse you she will kill me with her bare hands" I was shocked at the least. My mom knows as well. And she has basic give her permission We just started kissing and hugging and not before long I could fell that everything will be just fine. I asked him if I could just have a quick change of clothes and get the other washed as I don't have clean ones anymore. He said yes and showed me to his bedrooms on-suit. He asked me if I want to shower first and I was to happy bout it. As I got into the shower he took all my clothes from my bag and put it into the washing machine. He came back and asked if he can join me in the shower, well I basic pulled him inside We kissed and made out there in the shower, I could feel him getting rock hard against my tummy. It felt so good. Then he started kissing me all over, working his way downwards. When he started kissing and sucking my nipples I shot my first load. I could not help it, this is my first time. He continued sucking my nipples then back to my mouth and as soon as he felt me getting hard again he went down on me. I could feel his warm lips against my dick, slowly kissing and licking it , I could feel how my precum was leaking in the bucket loads and how he licked up every drop of it. Then he put his warm mouth over my head and my knees almost gave way as he done so. He came back up and turned the water of, picked me up and carried me into his room with out breaking the best kiss ever, I could taste my own precum on his tongue. He started drying me but still kissing me all over as he was doing so. He laid me on his bed and kissed me . He worked his way down to my nipples , sucking them and then lover licking up every drop of precum. As he took me in his mouth I started moaning to please not to stop. He played with my foreskin between his lips and entering his tongue into it. He pulled back my foreskin and started playing at the bottom of my head with his tongue. I was in heaven and I shot my second load and he drank every drop. He kept sucking it till my dick fell out of his mouth. As he started kissing me I tasted my own cum and I loved it. Then I started kissing his body working my way down to his pulsating dick as fast as I could. I went down on him , sorry I did not know about fore play and teasing , I just wanted his dick in my mouth. And I started sucking trying to do with my tongue what he have done to me. His precum tasted so sweet and I could not stop, the next moment I felt his dick getting even more swollen and I felt a salty load shoot the back of my throat. I almost gagged, no I did gagged , but I drank every drop he gave me. I went back up and started kissing him. We kissed and kissed till my mouth felt sore. We both collapsed on the bed. "Mark I love you and want you to be inside me" I said to him he looked at me before saying "My love, I so want to be inside you, but not to day, as you are not ready for that yet, it will hurt to much if we do it today" As we laid there in each other arms I could not help to start crying again, but a happy cry "Mark I love you more than life, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life"