Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 16:43:57 -0800 (PST) From: No Label Subject: Donny - Chapter 24 This story contains descriptions of homosexual acts and may be illegal where you live. Download and possess at your own risk. This particular chapter also deals with teenage suicide, so if that is not your cup of tea then don't read this chapter. This story is completely fictional. But if you do want to make your feelings known, or just need to talk with someone drop me a line at zero78245d@sbcglobal.net. Please do not reproduce this story without my permission. Donny - Chapter 24 Tuesday morning I woke up sore from all the swimming the night before. But one thing hadn't changed, delicious smells were coming from the kitchen. Damn, wonder if they have anything on Deke yet? Better get up and check. Before Dad comes after me. "Hey, Dad. Any word on Deke yet?" "No, son. Breakfast is almost ready, will be done by the time you get dressed." "Okay, okay. I can take a hint. Ah, Dad? Love you." "I love you too, son." A quick shower and clothes, and I was ready for school. But not before breakfast. Remember, they say a good breakfast is most important for proper learning, and of course, I'm all for proper learning, har har. After a quick discussion of home work, and a bite or several, I was off to the bus. Climbing on brought Deke back to the forefront, since that back bench was empty. Damn it Deke, where are you? Needless to say, it was a very boring ride that day. Classes weren't much better. Every time the teach would start one of their patented methods of inducing sleep, my thoughts would go to wondering about Deke. Where? And why? Oh fuck! I know why. I scared him off. Why did I have to go so far with him? Maybe he isn't like me. Shit, that's it! I made him do something that he didn't want, and now he's gone. Fuck! How could I do that? Shit, if anything happens to him, it's all my fault. Seems like I fuck up everything I touch. Damn, wish these classes would hurry up and end. I need to hit that pool before I screw everything up. It sure made me feel better last night. This sucks. My name of the PA. I am wanted at the office. Now what? I dump my books in my locker and walk into the office. Shit, Dad! At the dor to the principal's office. Either I am in big trouble, or something about Deke. "Dad! What are you doing here? Did they find Deke?" "Come on in here, son. Sit." "I'll leave you two alone for a minute." The principal, Mr Addison, walked out and shut the door. "What is it Dad? Is it Deke?" "Yes, son. They found Deke." "Great. When will he be home? Can we go now and see him?" Why isn't Dad happy? "Donny, I don't know how to say this except straight out. Deke's dead." "What? Nooo." Dad grabbed me as I started for the door. "Stop, Donny." We wrapped up in each others arms, clinging to each other as if seperated, we would fall. My tears soaked the front of Dad's shirt, and his wet my hair. How could this have happened? Please, Dad, tell me it was an accident. Not that some sick pervert, like my father, got hold of him. And that he didn't hurt. Shit, dead. Please tell me it was an accident. Oh, God, why? Why Deke? I never got to tell him I loved him. I never got to kiss his soft lips. Oh, Deke. "D-D-Dad?" Sniff. "H-H-How? How did he?" "Oh, Donny. I love you son, so much. I don't know too much, Buddy wouldn't say much. He just said that Deke was dead, and that he would come by tonight." "But why, Dad? What happened?" "I don't know, son. We will just have to wait until later. But one thing I do know." "What's that, Dad?" "I love you very, very much." "I love you too, Dad." "Come on, let's go home." We walked out of Mr Addison's office still clinging to each other. "I'm taking Donny home now. And he will be home tomorrow, too." "That's fine. I understand. Just so you are aware of what is going on, we will have a general assembly tomorrow morning to announce to the school. Then another Friday afternoon for a memorial service. I will call with details, but it would be nice if both of you could be there." "We will have to see. But thanks for the information, and invitation." "Not a problem, Mr Parker. Take care, Donny." "Yes, Mr Addison." The ride home was very quiet. I just kept remembering Deke's laugh, and the cute little grunt he made when he came. And that I would never hear them again. When we got home, we went straight to the comfort place, Dad's recliner, and assumed our usual positions. "I'm gonna miss him, Dad." "Me too, son. He really grows on you fast, huh?" "Yeah. He was a good guy." We didn't even bother to turn on a light as the sun went down. We just continued to sit, hold, comfort each other, and remember Deke. The jangle of the phone cut harshly through us. Dad grabbed it first. "Hello?" "Oh, hi Buddy....yeah, we're home....oh, guess we better turn on a light...okay, see you shortly...bye." "Buddy's on his way. I didn't notice the time. You getting hungry?" "Not really." "Well, we need to eat something anyway. Let me get something together." I didn't want to be very far from Dad, so I followed him into the kitchen, following him from fridge to cupboard to sink to stove, always touching him. Finally he turned around and hugged me. "Sorry son. But if you don't watch out I'll end up cooking you. Sit. I'm not going anywhere." "Oh, yeah. Sorry." "Nothing to be sorry about." Dad started a pot of coffee for Buddy. Then he fried up some eggs and potatoes for us to eat. We had just started eating when we heard Buddy's car pull in. A knock, hallo, and Buddy entered the kitchen. "Oh, sorry to interrupt your dinner." "Sit, Buddy. Coffee's on. We kind of lost track of time this afternoon so we are eating late." "Understand. How you doing, Donny?" "Uh, okay, I guess. So what kind of accident was it?" "Maybe I should talk to Tom first." "No, Buddy. Whatever you have to say, Donny deserves to hear also." "Okay. I trust your judgement. Donny, it wasn't an accident." "Oh, shit. He was murdered? Do you know who did it?" Buddy looked very uncomfortable. "Donny, it wasn't an accident, and he wasn't murdered." "Then how did he die, Buddy? You can't get sick and die that fast." "No, Donny, you can't. He took his own life." "Nooo." Again Dad had to stop my panicked urge to run. But before I buried my face in his chest, I saw the total look of devastation on his face. Dad's voice sounded like gravel. "H-How? Why?" "He took a gun from his father's case before he left his house yesterday morning. A couple of the men from the ranch found his body this morning a couple miles back in the brush." Each word pounded into my ears. No, not Deke. He wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that. Why? Finally Dad could speak again. "How did he get the gun? Was it his or his father's?" "His father's. You know how people are around here, and how they grow up around firearms. Normally they never think of locking them up, or what could happen if a child gets a hold of it. I have answered more of those kinds of calls than I have ever wanted to." "But why? Does anyone know why he did it?" Glad Dad could talk, because I wanted to know too, but I couldn't speak. "Yeah, he left a letter for you, Donny. Sorry, but I had to read it. Evidence, you know. Anyway, here it is." Buddy laid a creased and dirty envelope on the table. I stared at it like it was a snake. "I'm sorry, Donny, Tom. I wish there was more I could do. Sorry. I'll leave you two now, but don't be afraid to call if you need anything." "Yeah, Buddy. Donny and I both appreciate all you have done. Thanks." "No sweat. See you later." We both stood there arm in arm, staring at the envelope. I didn't even hear the door close when Buddy left. Finally I found my voice. "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "What do I do? Do I have to read it? Can we read it together?" "Whatever you want, son. But if we are going to read it now, can you wait a little bit?" "Sure. Why?" "I'd like Bob to be here when we read it." "Why?" "Because I don't know what's in there, or how it will affect either one of us. He can be our safety net." Suddenly I wanted to know what was in that letter, like now. "Call him, Dad. Please? Now?" "Sure, son." Dad went and called Doctor Bob's answering service. Soon Doctor Bob called and said he was on his way. I just kept staring at that envelope. About a half hour later Doctor Bob came in the back door. He found us again wrapped within each other, Dad and I, still standing in the middle of the kitchen and looking at the envelope. He walked over and hugged both of us, then sat down at the table, watching us closely. Dad spoke first. "Whenever your ready, son." I slowly reached out and took the envelope. It had been very cleanly and precisely slit so the letter came out easily. I smoothed the crinkled paper out on the table, then grabbed Dad and pulled him close so we could read together. --- Dear Donny, If you are reading this then you know what happened. You are my only friend. Nobody else wants me. Mom and Dad kicked me out, said I would cause more trouble. I don't want to cause any more trouble. I love them. I know now that they don't love me. And I can't go back to your house, not after running away like I did. This is the only way. I hope you will miss me so there is at least one who does. But I am sorry if I hurt you. Thanks for the fun. Thanks for being my only friend. Your friend, Deke ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- If any of you feel the same way as Deke, know that there are people who love you and want you. I want you and love you. Talk to me, I am always ready to listen. It would hurt me more than you can imagine if you don't at least give me a chance to try and help. My addys are zero78245d@sbcglobal.net (primary) and zero78245@yahoo.com (checked less often), and I am also on Yahoo Messenger. And if you can't get to a computer to write to me, then call your local hot line. They will help. But don't take that final step, it leaves too much pain and guilt behind. You probably can't see that right now with all the negative thoughts in your head, but it is true. Now is not the time to make such a big decision. We all want you and love you.