From: an166744@anon.penet.fi Reply-To: an166744@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 13 Apr 1995 01:59:58 UTC Subject: DRAWING DONNIE (m/b) [1/2] DRAWING DONNIE (man/boy) Standard disclaimer, bla bla bla, if you are not an adult according to the law, the government doesn't want you to have erotic titillation and your mind shall remain virgin even though you've been cumming for the last six years. Do not read this. Furthermore, people who are easily offended, people who are not interested in sex stories involving young boys and people on a crusade to cleanse the world should NOT read this. Whoever is left should be able to understand that this is only fantasy. I did not write this. I'm posting it for somebody else. Hope you like it. Send comments to an166744@anon.penet.fi written by BASE. (04/95) DRAWING DONNIE To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow Part 1 "Hey look, there's a pond behind those trees!" My hand released it's death grip on the tenacious dandelion root. The young voice had taken my concentration away from the muddy chore and lifted my attention several feet. Flashings of color danced behind the needely green veils of hemlock. I st od up and all movement in the branches ceased. The boys were suddenly aware of me. For an instant, the only sound was the bubbling fountain in the center of the pond. A startled gold fish slapped the surface and a splash of water sailed through the air. "Whats up boys" I called. I really couldn't see them clearly, but the kids had ventured well passed my property line and now had to give some account of themselves. "We heard water..." said the voice "....we were just checking it out" It was a soft, raspy voice, pleasant but uncertain. My head bobbed from side to side as I peered through the branches. I thought I could just make out 4 young boys, perhaps 8 or 10 years old. "Well, c'mon in and check it out then" I said proudly. I adore children, especially young boys, and I'm very proud of my garden. The boys pushed through the living fence and lined up on the opposite side of the small pond so that I got my first good look at them. I always get a kick out of the way little kids dress nowadays and these boys were really affected. The oldest oy, obviously the leader of the clique, was dressed in a pair of black shorts that reached down to his knees and a loosely fitting polo shirt with wide orange and white strips. The cottony fabric hung just below his slender waste. His straight black hair was cut short, shaved really, on the sides, but long on top. His chocolate eyes and little nose were part of an angelic face. Thick eyebrows and an olive complexion betrayed his mediterranean blood....truly a breathtakingly beautiful child. His young friends were plain in comparison, but still attractive children, dressed similarly and with identical hair-cuts. Two of the boys were blond, about the same height and age, though obviously related to each other somehow... cousins perhaps. The youngest boy was a brown haired child and seemed to hide behind the oldest boy. All of the youngsters wore earrings, which I think is really a hoot. When I was a kid in the seventies, you'd have gotten the shit beat out you if you turned up in school with an earring. Now, in the nineties, its coolness! Go figure. "Wow, this is awesome" said the dark haired boy, looking around at the garden. It was the first week of May. Tulips and iris were up together in their beds, the roses were in their virgin bloom and the lilacs hung heavy, all purple and white. Peony and bleeding heart were just opening in the glad sunshine. Lily of the valley, pansies, star of Bethlehem and hosta bordered the stone path that encircled the garden. It had been a wonderful spring, blessed with cool sunshine and delicious rain in perfect measure. The foliage was deeply green and lush, sweet aromas filled the air, honey bees buzzed and birds sang joyously from the tree tops. Both nature and I had done a great deal of work and the kid was right, the garden was awesome. "Yeah" said one of the blond boys "My mom would love it here. She'd think she died and went to heaven." Okay, at this point these kids could have gotten anything they wanted outta me. I was beaming! I love it when folks appreciate my garden, kids are especially welcome and I told them so. Of course, I asked their names first. "I'm Donnie" said the beautiful dark haired boy. "Steven" said one of the blond kids. "Paul" said the other. "and I'm Ricky!" said the youngest boy. They all smiled widely at me. "Well fellahs, I'm pleased to meet y'all! I'm Jack, and you can walk around the whole property if you like, just don't step anywhere except on grass." The boys walked carefully, respectfully in the garden and "oooo"-ed and "ahhhhh"-ed appropriately at all the biggest blossoms. They asked me all sorts of questions. They wanted to know the names of all the flowers, where they came from and how big they got. They asked how old the goldfish were, how long they could live and if they stayed out all winter. I could answer most, but always it was Donnie who asked the hardest and most insightful questions. He wanted to know how the goldfish breathed when the pond froze over in the winter. With stunning good looks and a sharp mind, this was obviously someone's pride and joy! It turned out that all these kids were new to the neighborhood, not that I would have noticed. They could have been born and raised on the block and I'd never have known it. I've lived in the same house for 20 years and still couldn't tell you my next door neighbor's first name. There weren't many children in those parts and hadn't been since I was little, so these kids didn't really have any other friends in the area, it was just the four of them. I fixed them tall glasses of pop and enjoyed their questions and boyish small talk for about an hour before they decided that a game of catch was more interesting than me or my garden! I couldn't blame them! They ran out as swiftly as they appeared, but the little guys had made my afternoon. Especially Donnie. All the rest of that evening, I couldn't get Donnie out of my head. What a fascinating boy! He had really charmed the pants off me. Now, I'm a fair artist, in fact, professional. I've made good money in graphic art and a pencil sings if I've a mind. Well, Donnie had inspired me. That night, as I lay in bed naked, I began to draw. My mind was turbulent with images of the beautiful boy. I made a few rough sketches of his face, practicing his slightly turned up, triangular nose, with it's thin bridge that sunk rapidly between wide brown eyes. With those thick distinctive brows, it was easy to convey the shape of his eyes, but impossible to communicate their intoxicating chocolate color or penetrating glance. I did my best though. I moved my pencil to form his little mouth, with thick lips parted in an impish smile. I started to see Donnie on the white paper, but the feel, the air, the essence of the boy still eluded me. I began to shade in his straight dark hair. I took a little liberty and added some extra length and brought the razored sides down a bit, closer to his ears. These changes gave him a wider, fuller face, more boyish and natural. I filled in his square jaw, dimpled chin and rounded his cheeks. By now, my cock was rock hard, its head engorged with blood as I gazed at the boy's captivating features. After about an hour and a half of practice, I though I had his face down pretty good. I drew him smiling, giggling, laughing out loud, from every angle until I could draw Donnie in any pose, at will. I fell fast asleep with the boy's exquisite features embedded firmly in my mind. I woke early that morning, before the sun. The obsession persisted, unabated by a dreamless slumber. I started drawing the boy's body. I could make reasonable guesses as to general shapes, but had no basis in fact with regard to specific structures. Happily, I have a good imagination! I made the curves of his boyish chest fall from narrow shoulders and a slim neck. I put tiny nipples far to the side of barely discernable pecs. I hinted at ribs, covered by taut young flesh, just above tiny, but well defined abdominal muscles. I gave him an outie belly button. And then, in my minds eye, I conceived his penis. I drew it erect and on scale, about three inches long, with a circumcised head and thin shaft, bent slightly downward at the pons. I made his scrotum hang low between thin legs. I was sure Donnie had no hair at all on his body. I saw him lying on my bed with his legs spread wide, giggling while he displayed, no boasted, his puerile manhood. The vision drove me wild. I could almost smell him now. How I longed to fondle his little dick and play with his hairless balls, rolling them between my fingers while he giggled and moaned in ecstasy. I wanted to teach him all the joys of cock- sucking and watch his little face light up while I lapped at his genitals and plunged my tongue into his steamy asshole like some hungry animal. I wanted to caress and explore every nook and cranny of his body and literally worship at this temple of youth. I swear I never touched myself, but I creamed my shorts. As I showered, I could only think how bad I had it for this kid. Part 2 "Hey Jack" I had kept my eyes peeled for the next couple of days, but hadn't seen hide nor hair of little Donnie. Once again, I was enjoying the garden, not pulling weeds but doodling at the side of the pond, early in the afternoon when I heard his soft raspy voice again. "Hey Jack, remember me? Its Donnie" Remember him? Was he kidding? He was nearly all I could think about. I raised my head and thrilled to his slim frame hopping through the hemlocks. The first thing I noticed was his naked chest. The boy had his shirt off, tucked into the side of his blue jeans. I couldn't help but be stunned, caught off guard by this sudden apparition of the young adonis. I saw immediately that my imagination had not done the boy justice. I had gotten all the proportions about right, but the very shine of his flesh far surpassed all my expectations. His complexion was flawless. His chest was slightly more developed than I had given him credit for and his nipples were larger and more toward the center of his chest. His abs were more developed too and his arms were already beginning to acquire muscle tone. As he raised his arms in a `high five' greeting. I noticed he had no hair at all under them. Happily, I was right about that! Not a hair on his body! Not yet. Then he flashed a lethal smile. He looked at me, held my eyes, and all of a sudden I felt naked! He was looking at me like he could read my thoughts. "'Course I remember you kid, I ain't that old! Not yet!" I dove for the closest refuge at hand. I returned my attention to doodling and tried to act uninterested. Donnie stepped over and looked at the note pad I was scribbling in. His lips were dyed lightly purple from some sort of grape candy and its sweetness mixed with his own essence created an inebriating fragrance. It made me dizzy! "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "Oh, just drawing" I said. "Nice way to relax" "Yeah?" he asked, almost incredulously, "You any good?" "I think so!" I answered, a bit sharply "damn good as a matter of fact" "Lemme see!" He looked at my drawing, obviously unimpressed. "I can do better!" he said confidently. "Oh you can hu?...well go to it big talker" I handed the kid my pencil and immediately his hand set to work. the impertinent little squirt quickly produced an elegant rendition of the same flower that I had been drawing. Once again I was stunned. The image even hinted at interpretation. I immediately wondered about his aptitude for color. "Who taught you how to draw?" "pretty good hu?" he giggled. "Yeah, who taught you?" "No one, I just picked it up." He handed the pencil and paper back to me in triumph. I could hardly believe it. The kid had yet another precious gift. Lord knows what he would become. What a boy! Brilliant and talented. What gifts he had! For but a moment, I had forgotten how beautiful he was, but then his attention became fixed on the fish in the pond and he bent down to touch the water. As he did, his little butt pushed against the seat of his pants. The shape of his buns reminded me of his physical beauty like a sweet rain that wakes a blissful sleeper into a bright morning. I could see the white elastic of his underwear disappear into that forbidden Elysium. I followed his bony spine up to the back of his neck and smiled at the peachy fuzz at its base. "Have ya got any fish food for 'em?" "Uhuh, in the garage. You wanna feed them?" "Yeah!" I walked the few paces and brought the boy a large can of flakes. His little hands dropped morsels into the ripply green water and the yellow fish greedily gulped at the offering. He turned and smiled at me. "They like me!" "It's hard not to!" I said The boy just blushed and giggled a little. "Wanna play catch?" he asked "Sure!" We tossed a hard ball to each other for about an hour or so. I think I missed more throws than he did, but something very special was happening; Donnie and I were becoming friends. That afternoon, I went back to my board. I had saved the studies of the boy from the night before and they came in handy now. I started to draw Donnie in poses and acts that gave release to my fantasies. First, I drew him in the garden, as Narcissus, gazing into the goldfish pond. In this work, Donnie is lying on his side. His head, adorned with peonies, is resting on his lean biceps. I tried to convey an innocent essence of erotic longing in his young eyes, trapped forever by his own magnificent reflection. His chest was true to life, now that I had gotten a good look at it, but his immature genitals were still figments of my vivid imagination. Nevertheless, I gave special detail to them. I drew his little cock erect and placed his free hand high up on his inner thigh, with his index and middle finger tips brushing his own scrotum. His skinny legs were bent at the knees and his feet were lost in a bed of forrest ferns. It took me several hours to complete the drawing and I had to jerk off as soon as I was done. I shot my load on one of the expendable studies of the beautiful boy's face. I also did some less detailed sketches of Donnie getting his little cock sucked. I used his friends as partners. Especially the little dark haired boy, who seemed to hide behind him on that first day we met. I drew the little boy with Donnie's hairless cock in his mouth. I tried a few different expressions of delight on Donnie's face before finally deciding that a look of surprise, almost fright, was hottest. I made the little boy seem unsure and a little grossed out to have another boy's dick in his mouth and that combination really turned me on. Next, I drew Donnie with his dick up the little kid's ass, as it would be seen from someone standing under them, but slightly to one side. It was really a challenging angle to draw from out of my head, especially since I wanted to get both boy's faces in the picture. When I finally got it right, the little boy had a strained, but determined expression on his face, while Donnie's was simply one of sheer ecstasy. The last picture was a self portrait. I drew myself sucking on Donnie's little cock. I had the child's entire dick in my mouth, his tiny balls separated on my chin. His hands were on his cheeks and his mouth was wide open, his eyes, saying they couldn't believe how good the blow job felt. Of course, I thought this was the hottest picture I had drawn. It's still one of my favorites. "Drawing Donnie" written by BASE. (04/95) Part 3 By the summer, I had done about a hundred sketches of the boys. By then, they had started coming over fairly often, every third day or so. Donnie would come at least as much by himself and even helped out with the gardening. I was teaching him how to improve his drawing too. It all started very informally. He'd see a bug or special flower that he wanted to try and I'd help him with some of the technical details. I really wanted to teach the boy how to draw out of his head, which is the stage every artist wants to get to, so he can draw what he sees in his mind. How I loved those afternoons!. Donnie would sit, nearly in my lap, with his pad and pencil in hand. I'd guide him, correcting strokes, or pressures, pointing out shadings, and so forth. Those moments made it obvious that Donnie had become very special to me. I soon realized that I loved this young boy and as his work improved, I felt more and more like a father to him in some way. Not that my sexual fantasies had abated in the slightest. Quite the contrary. I almost always thought of Donnie now when I jerked off. I'd pull out one of the sketches I'd done and blow my load onto it. I had plenty by then, kept under lock and key of course, since Donnie was in and out of the house so often. One afternoon, just about midsummer, I came home from work early, unexpectedly. There were more than a few things I had to get done in the yard and I needed some tools out of the garage. Unsuspectingly, I strolled to the cinderblock structure an eased open the side door. Light streamed into the cool, dark room. In that instant, time itself seemed to slow, like during car wrecks, when seconds expand into hours. I was instantly aware of the two boys, standing stiffly in the bright light. Like deer staring into oncoming headlights, the children were frozen in place. I recognized them at once. It was Donnie and Ricky. The boys had their pants pulled down around their ankles and their shirts were pulled up almost to their chins. My eyes soaked in all of Donnie's naked body. Once again, I found my imagination had done no justice to the boy. His hard dick was a full five inches long and thicker than I ever dreamed. It looked about 2 sizes too big for his slender body. The head, sticking straight up into the air was perfectly shaped and perfectly cut. His little balls indeed hung low between his legs and he didn't have a single hair anywhere. Ricky's dick was tiny in comparison, erect though it was, it couldn't have been more than two inches long, with a small circumcised head. I don't recall much more of Ricky, because my eyes were fairly glued to Donnie's body. I had finally seen him in his glory. My own dick nearly exploded. But before I could say a word, little Ricky pulled his pants up and bolted, almost under my legs, out of the garage. Donnie just stood there, naked before me, staring into my eyes. I was totally shocked.... shocked as in surprised, of course, but not angry or upset. Not at all! Donnie totally misread me. His eyes began to tear up and his expression changed from simple surprise to horror. "oooooohhhhnnooooo......oh not again! Not again!" he started to wail. The words echoed in my head. The terrified child backed away, and only slowly pulled his pants up as he fell back against the far wall. I had never seen, never dreamed of seeing, such a look of fearsome pain distort his adorable face. As he buckle his pants, he began to cry. My daze broken, I reacted automatically. I rushed in, scooped up the sobbing boy into my arms and rushed him to my chest. I hugged him tightly. He shivered and quaked like it was 5 degrees outside and tried to bury his head under his armpit. But I wanted to look the kid in the eye now. I held his chin up and made him look at me. "Listen kiddo, you did nothing wrong, do you understand me?" I said firmly. "Its okay" He hiccuped and only rocked his head back and forth, slightly. Then, he sniffled again and his eyes started to flood with fresh tears. "Jack, am I a homo?" he asked as he sobbed softly. I hugged the child again tightly. "Oh, Donnie...." I was starting to mist up myself at this point "you're only a ten-year-old boy, and lots of ten-year-old boys play with each other like that. I did when I was 10..... Look at me, kid." His magic eyes were staring straight into my soul now. "I did it when I was ten too.... and yes Donnie, I became a homo. And I'm learned to be proud of that! On the other hand, a lot of the same kids I played with didn't become homos. Too bad for them. The point is that when you're a ten-year-old boy, ya don't know what you are or what you're gonna become." His sticky red face changed into a quizzical look. "When will I know?" he asked "I can't even tell you that. I was sure when I was about 13, so that means ya got at least three years before ya hafta worry!" "I dunno, Jake, I think I'm pretty sure already" he whined "Oh, Donnie, you're are too smart for your own good sometimes. Look, why don't we go inside, and you can tell me how come you're so sure. I gotta put you down anyway, you're too big for me to hold up for so long". We sat in the kitchen and Donnie wiped the salty tear streaks from his face. Of course, this hadn't been the first time Donnie had played with Ricky. As it turned out, Donnie, Steve, Paul and Ricky had formed a sex club, with regular meetings right in my garage! The boys would count to three and then pull their pants down. They would inspect each other's genitals for the slightest signs of puberty. As yet, they didn't have a single pubic hair between them. If they were really horny they did "feelzies". Each boy would grab hold of another child's cock and balls and then rub them lightly, sending goose bumps up and down each other's backs. By far Donnie had the biggest dick and the other three boys took turns playing with it and pulling on it. But what had got poor Donnie so upset was the idea of being caught `again'. It seems Donnie had a certain uncle Tommy, his mom's bother. Donnie said he was very handsome. He was little more than a kid himself really, only 23 years old. Whenever they were alone Donnie and his uncle used to play-wrestle. Invariably, the boy's pants would come down in the struggle and Donnie's uncle would begin fondling his dick. At first Donnie pretended to fight back, but the sensations were so thrilling that the boy just laid back and let his uncle play with him. Donnie loved it when his uncle would tickle him under his tiny balls with one had and pull up and down on his peter with the other. But his favorite thing was when his uncle would take both his testicles into his hot mouth and rinse them clean with his tongue. That sent indescribable shutters of pure pleasure surging though every cell in the boy's body. Finally, his uncle would take Donnie's cock into his mouth and suck him to orgasm. And Uncle Tommy would let his nephew play with his big hairy cock and balls too. Donnie felt like the luckiest kid in the world when his uncle would take out his mansized cock and let him play with it. The child's little hand barely fit around the shaft and it seemed the boy could look right into the piss slit and see far into the dark tunnel. After a deal of pushing and pulling, white gooey stuff would shoot out of that hole and sometimes land all over the boy's face and hair. Once he even tasted it. It was salty and he found it unpleasant, so he never tried it again. The boy made it perfectly clear that he had totally enjoyed every experience and really loved his uncle Tommy. But one dreadful day, Donnie and his uncle were caught by his father. Vicious fighting and horrible screaming followed. Donnie never saw his uncle Tommy again. His family moved away almost immediately after the incident. So that was why the poor boy was so terrified. His whole life had been turned upside down. "Listen champ" I reassured him, I won't ever tell anyone ever, okay? Certainly not your dad." His little face lit up in an unforgettable smile. "Thanks Jack. You're my best friend!" "Ditto, kiddo..Ditto!" I scooted him out, stuffed with iced cream and cookies, none the worse for his fright. For myself, I had to hurry and get to my board before the beautiful vision faded from my memory. From that day on, all my drawing of Donnie were anatomically correct. Part 4 "How come you don't plant pumpkins?" Donnie asked one afternoon. I explained to the boy that pumpkins, as nice as they would be for halloween, would be all out of proportion in the garden. Oh, if I had more land, maybe a small farm, a pumpkin patch would have been charming. In fact, I had wanted a pumpkin patch ever since I was a child. I told Donnie that the art of planting a really special garden was knowing what was appropriate and what wasn't. The boy smiled at me as I finished my explaining and he seemed to understand. I promised I'd buy him a big pumpkin next month and we'd find a place for it in the yard. But for now, it was a cool september afternoon, at that very special hour of the day just before dusk, when the skies burn red as the angry sun is slowly extinguished behind the walls of night. Donnie and I were putting the fall flowers to bed for the evening. The last bloom of roses had just open, black-eyed susans, Montauk daisies and cosmos endured bravely the coming of night. The hostas were in bloom again, and mums fought with the sedum and impatiens for space along the stony path. A mourning dove cooed sadly. Donnie and I had accomplished much together and we were proud of our work. We had become very close since that fateful day in midsummer. Donnie would tell me all about his sexual activities with his friends, in glorious detail. I knew the kid was getting off telling me about how he'd suck Paul's little hairless cock until the boy quivered and shook in prepubescent orgasm. Steve and Paul were cousins and had been playing with each other's dicks ever since they could remember. They were bathed together when they were real little and that's probably how it started. Now, whenever they slept over each others houses, which was often, they had a field day under the blankets, rubbing their little dicks together until they were sore. Little Ricky was the new comer to the joys of sex. The three boys had just broken him in that spring. They convinced him that if his own hands felt good `down there', their hands would feel even better. Ricky was suspicious, but eventually, after some convincing, agreed to let them try. The four boys were up in Paul's room, ostensibly building a model racing car. Ricky laid on Paul's bed and Donnie started to unbuckle the child's pants. Steve kept a look out, just in case Paul's mom came up the stairs. The danger of getting caught made it even more exciting. Their little hearts were pounding a mile a minute as Donnie lowered the small boys pants. Donnie told me he laughed when he saw that Ricky had on a pair of superman underoos. Paul covered his eyes with his hands, but peaked out between his fingers while Donnie slowly peeled down the thin fabric of the child's underpants and revealed his tiny dick. Ricky was already breathing hard, probably hyperventilating, when Donnie started to masturbate him. Despite the boys nervousness, he got a boner almost as soon as Donnie touched his penis. Donnie said his uncle had taught him how to give good handjobs and stroke the sensitive areas under the dick head and at the base of the shaft. Donnie's experienced hand sent waves of giggly delight through the boy, magnified by an delectable atmosphere of naughtiness that filled the room. Then, it was Paul's turn. The blonde boy's warm hand stroked the young boy's shaft and examined his tiny testicles one by one. Ricky threw his head back as the surges of tickly fun rushed over his young body. Donnie tried to coax Paul into licking the small dick. Paul was reluctant, but plainly curious and Ricky had become simply greedy for more pleasure. After much cajoling, only tip of the blonde boy's tongue touched Ricky's cock and the little boy only giggled. Donnie grew impatient. He fairly pushed Paul out of the way and showed him how it was done. He took Ricky's boner all the way in his mouth at one gulp and began to swish it on his hot tongue. The little boy nearly fainted. His whole body erupted into torrents of spasmic bliss. As Donnie worked on the little kid's cock, the sensations soon became intolerable. The boy started to moan and pound the bed too loudly. Donnie stopped, realizing the noise would soon draw unwanted attention. It was Steve's turn anyway. Donnie guarded the door. Paul watched as his cousin started amusing himself with Ricky's immature genitals. Stevie was definitely the most playful, mischievous of the group. He rolled the tiny dick in between his fingers and then rubbed it into the boy's own belly with the palm of his hand. Ricky moaned slightly and rolled his face from side to side on the soft pillow. At the same time, Stevie explored under Ricky's balls and around his little asshole with his other hand. He even pushed at the kid's anus with the tip of his index finger. Finally, he began to masturbate the child. Up and down, just like he jerked himself off, just like Donnie had taught him. Ricky had his first orgasm that day. His friends hadn't lied. Their hands definitely felt much better than his own. I was really hot and bothered by the story and I could tell that Donnie had enjoyed telling it as much as I loved hearing it; even in the dying light, the unmistakable tents that our crotches had become made that much clear to both of us. In fact, this awkward situation had occurred several times before, whenever Donnie told me of his adventures with his young friends. But somehow, I knew that this time was going to be different. Maybe I lead the kid on in some way that evening, without intending to. I had always kept my fantasies strictly to myself. I never talked about sex with any of the other children. But, if it made Donnie feel better telling me about his sex life, I was happy to listen. I never repaid him in kind though. I never shared any intimate details about what I did in bed. In any event, we stood very near each other as darkness descended over the garden. We drifted ever closer together, so that our arms touched. The blood froze in my veins. I felt his shivering hand lightly graze my leg, slowly making its way toward the bulge in my pants. The boy had made his move. I still can't believe what I did that evening, or what I didn't do. As soon as I felt his little hand pass over my raging hard on, I dropped to my knees. Donnie gasped in surprise. We were nearly eye to eye. "Oh, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie....oh god, please help me...Donnie, ya gotta try and understand this...." I held the boy's shoulders as his wide eyes stared at me, filling with disappointment and hurt. "Donnie, please believe me, every nerve in my body wants what you want right now...wants to share with you things you can't even imagine... But Donnie, if we share those things, then we wouldn't be able to share other things...things which are much more important...things that you need much more right now." I could tell by his eyes he hadn't a clue as to what I was talking about. "Don't you think I'm cute?" he squeaked His face made a sad look that nearly tore my heart out. "Cute? Donnie, you're the most adorable little boy I've ever laid eyes on, and boy you had me pegged from the first day didn't you...? Well, you were right kiddo! I love little boys....but only in my dreams. Look, you'll understand when you get older. Right now you're just gonna have to trust me on this one. I can't play with you like Paul or Ricky can. It would mean things to me, do things to us, that you can't understand." "Don't you love me Jack?" he persisted. I nearly died on the spot. "I do love you kiddo, I really, really do. More than you know. And that's exactly why I can't do what you want me to do. Your just gonna hafta trust me..... Now, what I'm saying goes only for me, you understand". I added that last part quickly, thinking of his uncle Tommy. "Maybe some grownups can play like that with you and still feel alright about it, but I can't Donnie, I just can't. Do you understand even a little?" "Maybe a little" he lied. But he smiled as he did. "Donnie, I promise, it's the right thing." "Okay" he said. "I guess you're pretty smart". "Why thank you!" I said. The star light shown off his face like angels were dancing on his cheeks. His lips became an impish grin as we turned for the house. "Too bad though" the boy said "I bet you got a big hairy one!" "Your right again! I do...." I laughed "Why don't you try and draw it when you get home tonight." THE END