Dylan's Journal – Part One
This is a companion story to The Pervert And The Virgin. There will be very little and most likely no steamy sex scenes in this journal. I wanted an opportunity to explain things and focus on the relationships between the characters in my other story. A reader of The Pervert And The Virgin wrote with a lot of questions and raised some very interesting questions. This is my way of answering these questions and showing him what he inspired.
Please be aware this is an entirely fictional story. Everything here has only taken place in my imagination and the lives of my fictional characters. Also keep in mind this story is about the relationship between a young boy and his older lover. I'd strongly suggest reading another story if you find this discomforting or if reading it breaks any laws in your place of residence.
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Before I get around to discussing specific events and experiences I shared with my pet pervert, Rohan, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm your average looking twelve-year-old American kid. Although I always suspected I was gay I also have an attraction to girls. My main love will most likely be for another guy but nothing is ever certain when Rohan's energy is filling your world. Add to this the wisdom and energy of his friends and it is hard to find a label to describe yourself. I guess that's the point but more on this later.
This journal began in response to a request from a friend of Rohan's. A very mysterious friend who insists now is not the time for him to reveal more about himself. I've never met him in person since he began helping me almost a year ago. We have video calls so I know what he looks like. He's physically intimidating but this is overshadowed by the depth of his presence. You can feel the wisdom he radiates and if for some reason you cannot feel it take one look at his eyes. They will make you pay attention to him. Gods how I'd love to lose myself in those eyes while we make love but that's unlikely to happen for a long while if ever. Still a boy can dream and fantasize and hope. This man is my mentor, spiritual teacher, martial arts adviser, confidant and the reason behind my journal. I owe him only slightly less than I owe Rohan.
Sir Alexis Thaddeus Padmore has done as much to shape my life as my pet pervert.
Shortly after I met Rohan, we were out on a walk when my perceptive pervert noticed I was feeling a little tense. He asked me if I would like to share the cause of my discomfort. Instead of being upset he threw back his head and laughed when I admitted he or rather his energy was the cause of my discomfort. By this time there was no doubting our commitment to each other and Rohan took my hands in his, locked his gaze with me and in a very solemn tone asked me if I believed I could keep a relationship secret. Only his housekeeper and one other person in his life knew what he was about to share. Even his housekeeper only knew Alexis as Rohan's imaginary friend. She'd never spoken to him nor seen him. This was he believed his most closely guarded secret. The tone of his voice and the look in his eyes spoke volumes. I knew this was not something to take lightly and quickly set aside the temptation to say yes just to learn this secret. I admit it wasn't easy. How special it would have made me feel to know something only his housekeeper and one other person knew. This was a huge secret.
Rohan explained if I built this relationship my life and my world would be forever altered. He told me it had taken him decades filled with lots of discomfort and traveling around the world before he was ready and open to allow this wonderful man to play a pivotal role in his life. Breathing deeply I thought of my commitment to my pet pervert. Was I ready to take on another relationship this intense now? In the end it was the knowledge I needed help understanding Rohan that made me agree to keeping this secret. The fear of messing up what I had with Rohan was too great. The moment I told him I would keep this secret and only share it with his permission our walk came to an end.
Things moved quickly. Rohan bundled me into a cab and made a phone call. I heard him mention he needed an unbreakable connection to a corporate internet. He wanted a laptop waiting in his office with crystal clear sound. Things got even more mysterious when Rohan told his guy, William, this visit never took place. A second quick call to confirm it was okay to call in a few minutes followed. This call took less than thirty-seconds. I was rushed upstairs and barely had time to get my breath back before I was sitting in a spacious office looking out through a glass wall upon an amazing garden. Rohan told me I'd get a closer look at the garden one day but it might be a while. A distinctly British voice interrupted before I could ask questions.
“Breathe deeply Rohan.” the voice said. “You're more nervous than a gay teen about to suck his first cock.”
I've never forgotten those words and always thought they were the perfect introduction to this amazing man. When Rohan introduced us using our full names it was a reminder not to take this lightly. Sir Alexis Thaddeus Padmore told my pet to go pray for a while. My pet gave me a quick kiss before hurrying from the room. Our chat lasted over an hour but felt like five-minutes to me. He asked me to call him Alexis when we were alone or with Rohan. I found his questions about weapons training and a secret religious society strange but agreed to wait until Rohan shared this information with me before asking questions. Alexis promised to help me by working solely with what I knew about Rohan and what Rohan shared at his own pace. He was glad to hear I had already sensed there was a lot more to my pet than he was sharing about himself now. My willingness to wait, to learn when Rohan or events decided seemed to surprise him a little. I felt surprised when he admitted to looking forward to discovering how Rohan would surprise us over the next year or two.
Alexis showed me he had a sense of humor when he ended our chat by asking me to go open the door so Rohan could stop his pacing and join us for a few minutes. The relief and gratitude Rohan expressed hearing I would be working with Alexis moved me to tears as did the reward spanking and sex over his desk after our call. That is something I will keep private for my entire life. Rohan insisted on a celebratory milkshake before we returned to the apartment.
Words simply cannot express the impact Alexis has had on my life. Rohan on his own will totally transform your world and life but Alexis will transform your Universe and soul. Trying to make these two guys proud of me and living up to their standards meant growing up very quickly. They were wise enough to understand my childhood and teenage years would not be anything like the conventional lives teens around the world live. I'll explain more as events unfold.
Allowing me the freedom to have this relationship with Alexis and his trust in us to make the right decisions for me is a gift from Rohan second only to his love for me. Looking back I can see how easy it would have been for some of my choices to have hurt him. My mom, Sophie, worried at times about this but Rohan chatted with her a couple of months after he introduced me to Alexis. What was said over tea was never shared with me but after a second tea with Rohan's housekeeper Mom suggested I buy my pet pervert some flowers.
When I met my pet pervert I had lived alone with my mom for about a year. My dad had a drinking problem. He never beat us but living under the constant threat of wondering if this time would be the first beating was proving too much for mom. She worried it might happen while she was away and unable to defend me. The day dad put his fist through the wall in anger was the day mom packed our bags and took me to a shelter. She had hoped dad would get help but after a month he had quit his program and gone back to drinking. The staff at the shelter helped mom get some money for a deposit and helped us get the utilities connected. I lost touch with dad for a while and missed him for the first few months. Three months later I realized I was feeling much more relaxed. Once my grades got me an “A” average I was able to ask for more schoolwork. This proved the distraction I needed and life settled down.
(the following journal entry concerns the events in The Pervert and The Virgin Parts 1 - 5)
Then came that fateful day in the park. This was a rare day when I felt the need get outdoors. Maybe it was cabin fever or maybe a part of me knew I had to meet Rohan. I'll never know and it doesn't matter. The important thing is I met him. I also insulted him. You guessed right. I called him a pervert.
I'd just joined a group of random guys playing on the court in the park. While I played I noticed an older guy sitting on the bench watching us. Despite the pretty girls walking past I never once saw him turn to look at them. That's when I knew he was one of those perverts who liked sex with young boys. I was a young and in fair shape. No doubt he was watching me. Ever since I learned about gay relationships during sex education at school I wondered if I was gay. Honestly I hoped I wasn't because gay guys at school seemed to have it rough. I didn't have a role model out of school to show me it could be okay. How was I to know some people didn't care if you were straight or gay? All I saw was the bullying of gay kids at school. Whenever I saw this something inside of me tightened. My stomach knotted because I knew it was wrong but a part of me was glad they weren't bullying me.
Who would have imagined calling a stranger a pervert would lead to me being more honest and taking a stand against the school bully? I knew I didn't expect Rohan to agree with me when I called him a pervert. He was so open I didn't know how to respond. When he described the feelings and fantasies I'd tried to bury under lots of schoolwork I thought I must have a sign hanging on my neck for him to read. Later he shared how he learned this by volunteering at a shelter for gay teens. After chatting to a lot of the guys he learned this was a pretty common experience for all of them. He'd known at least some of what he shared would be true for me.
Rohan helped me feel better that day. I thought about what he said as I made my way home. What helped the most was his suggestion to embrace radical honesty. I admitted to myself I worried about coming out. I accepted I didn't want to stand up for the gays in case they called me gay. Being honest I realized I was living a lie. Along with honesty Rohan told me to accept things without judging them. I was a kid with lots of growing ahead of me. Getting beaten up now wouldn't help any gay kid. Learning to defend myself before taking on the bully was the sensible approach. The discomfort I felt could be my desire to take a self-defense class or learn more about being a gay school kid. A visit to the gay shelter might help me learn more about my feelings and how to express them in a safe environment. They had people who could talk to me on how to share this with my mom. I called a stranger a pervert and he helped me a lot.
The other thing he did was grope my ass in the elevator. I didn't mind because he kept his hand outside my pants. This was what gays did. I knew if I enjoyed it I was most likely gay. Rohan was right saying I couldn't ask one of the guys at school to grope my ass. A good thing I had baggy shorts and a long vest on. I couldn't believe he groped me with other people in the elevator. While we were in the apartment he never touched me. I liked the groping and the goodbye kiss on my cheek.
Now I laugh when I think of my first reaction to the toys in the playroom. I have learned a lot about the different toys in my time with Rohan. I've also experienced a lot of them. Lots has happened in such a short time. The people around us were amazing. I don't think I'd be talking openly about my sex life if they weren't very open and casual about it. Adam helped me a lot. I'll share more about Adam later. Now I need to write about stuff as it happened or else I'll forget,
Getting through school that day was very challenging. That day being the day of my first lesson from the pervert. A lot of the challenge was caused by him allowing me to decide what to include in our first lesson. I was still undecided until my pervert shared he'd had sex with Adam, alias 1201, at the dumpster after I left and spanked Adam regularly. Once I learned that I knew I could trust 1201. We knew each other from school. Up until that day I had never done anything sexual with anybody else. I hadn't even jerked off with a friend. Thanks to Adam I can say my first sex act with another person was getting fucked. Although Rohan took so long with it I think I'll have to call it making love.
My lover brought humor and tenderness to the event. I'd like to write about all the emotions I felt but they got buried under the pleasure. When he slipped the first few inches of his cock inside me I couldn't believe it was happening. I had a cock or part of one inside my ass. Yes it had hurt a little but not as much as I thought it would. Rohan loves to drive us crazy by taking his sweet time. I've learned he does this because he knows how crazy it makes us. He also kept it fun. There was no doubt how much he treasured the gift. I knew he really meant it when he said how honored he was being my first lover. Showing me it could be playful helped me relax more. What I remember most is the pleasure and the relief of being committed. A lot of tension I didn't know I was holding around being gay or not gay dissolved. Yes they were the best orgasms of my life but feeling free and relaxed afterward was the best part. I was gay and fucking an older man. Accepting this was fucking mind-blowing. Fucking freeing.
There was a lot of love for me from a stranger that day. Rohan's housekeeper insisted on making the bed with his finest bed linens. The ones he'd used on his wedding night. She intended to help transform the memories Rohan held of that night by replacing them with happier memories of our time together. She'd also made certain he set a lovely table for us. The sodas in the wine bucket was her brilliant idea. I made a point of letting her know how much I appreciated her kindness the next day.
Other people have expressed surprise at how quickly Rohan gets a business started or a home decorated but he wasted no time with me that weekend. A lot of it was of my own making and left me shaken. Some of it I did subconsciously and it is still a habit of mine now. The difference is I am aware of it today. I can choose to change it if I wish because I know when I am doing it. Alexis pointed it out to me and explained why I was doing it. The bond I formed with Rohan's housekeeper was different. This I did with full awareness. How could a young boy like me not be drawn to a lady who showed such kindness to a stranger? Her blessing of my time with Rohan was an equally amazing gift. She has helped me as much as Rohan in walking my own path. Her guidance in how to approach Rohan has given me the courage to approach him to discuss doing things my way. We've even kept secrets from the rest of the gang.
The biggest challenge was the spanking play we indulged in. While Rohan slept after our first fuck I texted Adam. He'd told me he gets regular maintenance spankings from Rohan. I thought it would be good to see what this sort of play entails. I knew about the post spanking sex. What I was most curious about was how these scenes unfolded. I was pretty certain Rohan would use the stocks but would it be a paddle or a hairbrush. Instead of focusing on implements I could have given thought to how a kind man like Rohan finds it within himself to spank somebody. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have guessed it would mean tapping into his shadow-side. The well of darkness within us. I watched Rohan reach the point where he left us. Whoever it was striking Adam's cute ass may have looked like Rohan but it wasn't the Rohan I was falling in love with.
Alexis tells me I didn't make a mistake that weekend. He says there are no right or wrong choices only different experiences. The moment I learned Rohan wanted our first experience of something to be with him I leapt at the chance. This was my moment to experience what Rohan tapped into spanking Adam. Now as I think back I am reminded why people say “fools rush in where angels fear to tread”. Unknown to me was the depth of my pet pervert's dedication to our growth and his ability to take a very good beating. He promised he'd keep an eye on me. I'm certain he kept a close watch although how he did it I've yet to fully understand. All I have is the certain knowledge my pet pervert would never lie to me.
I wept. Me it was, not Rohan, who shed tears even though his ass got blistered. What I hadn't expected was how much I enjoyed the power of having Rohan helpless in the stocks. I could have submerged myself in this emotion alone and been able to hold myself together. Only two days after meeting him I knew I cared for him. I knew he would be a huge part of my life. The part of me who loved the old coot wept for him. I think some of those tears were for me as well. Throughout it all and especially at the end when I was falling apart this scoundrel kept encouraging me. He told me how proud he was of me. This was an example of love I'd expect from my father. The love I never got from him I was getting from a man who freely labeled himself a pervert. Then the sweet man did his best to keep me from seeing the damage I'd done to his ass.
We missed church the next morning because we needed to nurse the old guy. I managed to face the sight of his ass only because of my chat with his housekeeper. She told me I would have to trust Rohan to keep an eye on me and her to keep an eye on Rohan. Even after four years she didn't fully understand his method but the results had all been very positive. I was very young she reminded me. I'd only lost my virginity the night before dishing out a sound spanking. Maybe I needed to ease up a little she suggested. There was plenty of time she assured me. Rohan was never going to leave me. I had already sensed this much.
The pace was scary but I was riding the wave of pent up energy held back as I denied the biggest part of me. Alexis later told me this was why I asked Adam to join us. I instinctively knew there was no holding back this energy from within me or Rohan. The best I could do was to dilute it by allowing others to join our play. This was a common tactic of mine early on in our relationship. Thankfully the people I tossed into the mix were all people I was glad to have in my life later as I matured. Things somehow worked out very nicely for me. Once again it was Alexis who told me this success wasn't surprising because I'd been acting without thought from the deepest part of my being. A part of us that never messes up Alexis called it. Neither of us knew it but this comment would set me on a path that would enrich my life beyond measure.
Writing about my first few days I spent with Rohan has caused the emotions to resurface. I'll end this journal entry here and gather myself. Thank goodness my pet pervert only keeps the best Scotch on hand. I'm also blessed to have the trust of his housekeeper who will assume if I'm making myself a Scotch and soda in the afternoon it's for a very good reason. Cheers guys!