Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2012 20:55:56 +0100 (BST)
From: Andy Email <email_andy@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Exploring Chapter 4 - GM Adult  youth

Disclaimers and warnings.

The important characters and place names in this story have been changed to
protect the not so innocent.  The story itself is fictional.  Nothing like
this happened that I know about.

If it's illegal to read this stuff where you live, move.

If you're not old enough to read this stuff, hurry up and grow up.

If you don't like stories about sex between men and boys, and boys and
boys, why are you here???

As always thanks to Liam for editting and spotting the mistakes that I
don't.

Big thanks to everyone who has emailed me their comments and thoughts.  I
really appreciate them.

Special love goes to my best bud Billy for being so strong at the time when
he needed to be.  Love you mate. xxx

Exploring

Chapter Four

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccckkkkkkk" I exclaimed
as my boy body reacted in the only way it knew how as I reached the point
of no return and I felt myself shoot inside my briefs.  My body shuddered
as I climaxed and I clung to the older boy lying on top of me.  My mouth
found his neck and I kissed him, moving my lips to his cheek and trying to
find his lips but he turned his face away from me, leaving me to suck his
earlobe.

I slumped back onto the bed, basking in the glow of orgasm and looked up at
the boy I had already fallen head over heels for.  Ian looked back down at
me.  I didn't like the look in his eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Ian hissed at me.  "Are you gay?"

Fear ran through my body as Ian pushed himself up and off me. Oh fuck!
What did my dad just tell me not to do???

"Um, no, course not!" I stammered out.  "Well the spreading wetspot in your
shorts begs to differ!" Ian said, motioning to the ever growing stain on my
shorts.  "Look, you just caught me in the wrong place ok," I argued, trying
again to diffuse the situation.  "Any guy will spunk if he's rubbed like
that."

I saw Ian do a double take at my words, and I wondered what I'd said wrong.

"Hold on, you're accusing me of rubbing you up?" he spat at me.  "What do
you think I am?  I didn't come round here to cop a feel of you or
anything!"  "No, I didn't mean it like that, Ian, I'm sorry," I apologised.
"What I meant was..."  "Look Andy, you tried to kiss me," Ian continued to
argue.  "Deny that!"

I couldn't so I hung my head to my chest, and I felt a tears start to leak
from the corner of my eyes.  I've really fucked up on the first day we're
here.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry," I coughed out, my body started to shudder as I tried to
hold back the sobs.  "If you want to go, just go ok."

I motioned him to the bedroom door and slumped back onto my bed, turning my
body so I could put my head into my pillow.  I felt his weight lift from
the bed, and then return but closer to the head of the bed.  Hands rubbed
my back.

"Look Andy, sorry I freaked at you, but I'm not gay," I heard him say
softly.  "It's okay if you are, but I'm not ok."

I turned to my head to look at him to see if he was leading me on so he
could punch me or something.  I only saw compassion in his face.  He pulled
me up into a sitting position and using a thumb, wiped one of the many
tears rolling down my cheek.

"You're not gonna beat me up or anything?" I asked, almost begging.
"Course not, I have nothing against you guys ok," he replied, pulling me
into a hug.  "Just cos you're gay, doesn't make you a murderer or anything.
You just happen to like guys rather than girls, which is great for me."

I pulled away slightly, looking at him confused.  He giggled.

"Means there is less competition for Jessica Parker!" he said.  "I've been
trying to get the guts up to ask her out for the last six months."

I smiled slightly at his comments, which brought another smile onto his
face.  He tried to wipe my face again with his hand, but decided he needed
something else and dug into his pocket.  My tears were wiped with the
smiley face of Spongebob!!

"I'm deffo keeping these now!" he stated, getting me to finally giggle back
at him.  "So you're not gonna out me or anything?" I asked him.  "Why would
I?" he replied.  "It's your business if you're gay or straight, no-one
else's."  "Thanks," I said.  "Sorry bout trying to kiss you and stuff."
"Hey, it's understandable," Ian countered.  I threw him a confused look.
"Well I AM fucking hot!!"

I grabbed my pillow and whacked him over the head with it.  This led to
another mock wrestle, which was a little uncomfortable as I still had my
load squelching around in my briefs.  Finally we called it quits and lay
back on my bed, side by side, listening to the music and staring up at the
ceiling.

"So you are actually gay and not just messing around?" Ian asked suddenly,
breaking the silence.  "Um, yea, I'm gay," I answered.  "So you done
anything with anyone yet?" he queried.

I turned my head to look at him, wondering where he was going with this.

"No, not yet," I said truthfully.  "I only came out to my Dad like less
than a year ago."  "So you've never had a boyfriend?"  "Have you had a
girlfriend?" I countered.  "Yeah, but I'll tell you about her in a bit if
you want," Ian said.  "Well, no, I've never had a boyfriend.  There was
this lad, Mike, where we lived in Leeds that I really fancied and thought
he was gay, or at least curious," I told him.  "But he wasn't huh?" Ian
said, guessing the story.  "No, he punched me in the face and told me to
never talk to him again.  Then he outed me to the school."  Tears welled up
again as the memories flashed back through my mind.

Ian sensed a change in my body attitude and turned slightly and slipped an
arm underneath me and hugged me to him.

"Look, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said.

I looked into his eyes and again saw compassion shining back at me so I
took the gamble and told him what happened to me.  How I turned one of the
friendly hugs that Mike and I used to share into a kiss, and the immediate
rejection of the kiss.  How the ten months of friendship vanished in an
instant as soon as the words "Fuck off you fag" were followed by his right
fist.  How he spent the next morning outing me to everyone we knew.  How
every day for the next three months were spent with name calling, the
shoves into the lockers and walls, the punches into my sides and back in
the crowded corridors, the beatings in the toilets when no teachers were
around to help.  How my life became so miserable that I thought about
ending it all.  How my brother belied his slender frame and broke open the
locked bathroom door to find me crying in the shower, Dad's spare razor
blades in hand.  How both Dad and Jack have shown me the unconditional love
that a
 suicidal gay teen boy desperately needs to survive the worst of his
classmates.  I felt Ian's arms pull me tighter into him.

"Andy, you will never have to worry about a lot of that here okay," he
promised me gently, stroking my back with his strong hands, calming me
down, reassuring me.  "Look there are people around here who don't like
gays, there are people who don't give a shit either way, but there are a
lot of people who have friends, or relatives, who are gay so you will have
people to back you up."  "You're one of them?" I asked, hopeful.  "Course I
am," he replied, hugging me again.  "After all, I've got a couple of gay
mates already."

I sat upright, well bolted upright really.

"Who??  Is it Dylan?" I asked, trying to keep my tongue in my mouth.  "Oh,
over me already are you?" Ian teased, with a glint of amusement and
mischief in his eyes.  "Ah well, you said you're not interested, so I've
got to look for new options I guess," I hit back.

I think this set Ian back slightly, as I basically admitted to him that I
had fancied him.

"Well I never said I wasn't interested, just that, um, well I really fancy
Jess," Ian stuttered out.

For the first time, I saw an uncertain side to him, and sensing an opening,
I leaned forwards.

"So if I were to kiss you, you wouldn't hate it?" I whispered, blowing
slightly into his ear.  Hey I read that this was supposed to turn guys on.
"Stop!" Ian said, playfully pushing me away.  "God, you guys all have a one
track mind!"  "Well can you blame me?" I countered.  "I mean, I have a
blonde demi-god sat on my bed, who I bested at wrestling!"  "Demi-god??" he
complained.  "Why not full godhood?"

He got up and flexed his arms showing me his extremely nice biceps.

"Well you lost godhood status when you wouldn't kiss me!" I teased.  "God
if you're gonna let a little thing like that get between me and divinity,
then I guess I'll have to do this."

Before I could react, Ian grabbed me and pulled me to him.  He looked into
my face, my eyes met his, and he lowered his face to mine.  I ran my tongue
over my lips to wet them slightly in anticipation.  Oh my god he really is
going to kiss me.  He held my face between his hands and continued to bring
his face towards mine, his lips now moist from his own lick.  I closed my
eyes and parted my lips slightly to allow his tongue access when it
arrived.  His lips connected with my forehead.

HOLD ON!!!

My forehead???

My eyes shot open, and I pulled back from him.  I could see his trademark
upturned mouth pulled into a smirk.

"Does that get my godhood status back?" he chuckled.
"AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!" I groaned at him.  "Soz Andy, I couldn't resist,"
he giggled out.  "You're just so adorable and cute, and believe me, there
are gonna be gay guys who will fall over themselves to be your boyfriend."

I punched him in the arm, grinned at his mock pained expression, and said
that we ought to get back to emptying the boxes.

"Don't you think you may wanna change?" he said, grinning and motioning
towards my still very wet spot.  "Oh yeah, guess I should."  I walked to my
drawers and pulled out a fresh pair of shorts.  Fuck it, may as well go
commando as it's not long until bed I bet.  I glanced at the clock and saw
it was already gone nine.

I pulled my shorts down, and was there in my cum soaked briefs in front of
the guy that until a few moments ago, I thought was going to turn into my
boyfriend.

"You gonna look away?" I asked.  "Nah," he said, deliberately turning
further into my direction.  "You're gonna have to get used to being naked
in front of me, and the others, cos one of the rules of the rugby club is
that you HAVE to shower at the end of the game.  It's all open and communal
so you're gonna get lots of eye candy!"

I chucked my shorts at him, and thought, fuck him, let's give him an eyeful
then!  I walked slowly towards him, stopping a couple of feet away.  I
slipped my hands inside the waists of my briefs and slowly pulled them
down, pausing when they showed my very sparse bush of pubes.  I turned my
back to him, and pulled them down, bending over to give him a full moon of
my butt.  Now no-one has actually ever commented on it, but I think I've
got a very nice butt.  It's not flabby or anything and is well formed and
gives a nice shape, relaxed or tensed.  I slipped my feet through the holes
of my shorts and started to pull them up.  I glanced backwards for a
moment, and could see Ian very interested in my body.  Should I give him
the whole show or not??  Sod it, why not, he did say he may be interested
at a later time so let him see what he's missing.

I turned around as I pulled my shorts up, giving Ian a few seconds to look
at my now flaccid cock.  Fortunately I've got one of those cocks that
doesn't lose too much size when it's not hard so it still measures around
the four and a half inches when it's asleep.  I coughed and Ian's eyes shot
up, leaving my crutch and met mine, and his hand quickly rearranged his
crotch area.  I smirked as I finally gained revenge.

"So you see anything you like??" I said and ducked as my shorts were thrown
back in my direction.  I grabbed them and my soiled briefs and put them in
my hamper.

We spent the next three quarters of an hour putting books and dvds onto
shelves and clothes into closets and drawers.  We were interrupted once by
Jack who came in to say goodnight.  I gave him and hug and apologised for
throwing his box at him, which he shrugged off, probably knowing he
deserved it.  Finally Dad knocked on my door to say it was getting late and
that Ian should be heading home.  We both agreed and we walked downstairs.
As we reached the door, Ian turned to me.

"So you still up for tomorrow morning?" he asked.  "Course I am, after all,
I've gotta show you Worcester fans how proper rugby is played!"

That earned me a shot on my arm, which stung, but I kept myself from
flinching.  I could see Ian grin as he knew I had fought from showing it
hurt.  He raised his arm with a closed fist and we bumped them in a way of
goodbye and I closed the door behind him.  I leaned against it and slid to
the floor, thinking how lucky I had been it hadn't gone completely tits up.

I heard my Dad wander into the hallway to see where I was and he saw me on
the floor.  Concerned he pulled me up and led me onto the lounge.  He sat
down on his chair and pulled me into his lap.

Yeah yeah okay okay....sometimes I still like being babied okay!  To me,
there is no safer spot in the whole world than being on your Dad's lap,
with his arms around you and him making sure everything is under control
and that nothing out there is going to hurt you.  This is a position that
has become very familiar over the last couple of months after Jack found me
about to do something hugely stupid with the razors.

"Wanna talk champ?" Dad simply said.

I nodded and told him most of what had happened tonight.  I left out some
of the more sordid thoughts that I had had, but all in all, truthfully told
him everything.  I could sense Dad getting uptight at times but at the end
he seemed happy that Ian was going to turn into a friend, hopefully a good
one.  Not exactly the type of friend I want him to be, but I'll take him as
a friend and ally if that is all I am allowed to.

I got up and gave my Dad a hug and headed upstairs to go to bed.

To be continued!!

I have been through a period in my life of around 12 months where I was
self-harming and whilst I never got to the stage where I thought about
taking my life, I am sure there are many who do.

If you are ever in the situation where you are thinking that the only way
out is to take your own life, please stop and think for a moment about
everyone who does care about you.

In America, they have an organisation called The Trevor Project.  Please
visit http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

In The UK, the best one I can find is the Prevention of Young Suicide
(Papyrus).  Please visit http://www.papyrus-uk.org/

For the rest of the world, I'm sorry I don't know who you can contact but
I'm sure a google search will point you in the right direction.

This is my first attempt at writing.  Hope you enjoyed it. Andy.

Please be aware that this story is in the Adult Youth section for a reason.
It just may take Andy some time to get there!!

All comments, reviews and suggestions would be greatly welcomed at
email_andy@rocketmail.com

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