Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 20:14:35 EDT
From: Double A
Subject: Fabien's Puppy Part 5

	Fabien's father explained the situation to his wife, who agreed with the
plan wholeheartedly and softened her attitude somewhat toward Fabien's
situation. The three of them had a light dinner, without much in the way of
conversation, and afterwards, Jean-Paul took his son up to Westmount to see
a Doctor Aultman, who he had booked an appointment with for that evening.
Fabien's father had dropped him off at the man's house and then left and
said he would be back to pick him up in an hour.

	The doctor had converted a corner of his living room into a makeshift
office, complete with a filing cabinet, a fish-tank, a chair, a couch and a
coffee table with a clock and a box of tissue. Fabien sat uncomfortably on
the couch and stared at the fish-tank, while the man attended to other
things, apparently, in another room. Despite the earth-tone colours of the
room and the attempted business atmosphere, Fabien couldn't shake the fact
that he was sitting in the living room of a stranger's home.

	After several minutes, the doctor entered and sat down on the chair, beside
Fabien. He was a older looking man, who wore glasses and had a somewhat
stern look. Fabien didn't like him, already.

	"Hello there, Fabien." the man started, "My name is Doctor Gordon Aultman,
but you may call me Gord. Just make yourself comfortable."

	Fabien nodded and asked, "Should I be lying down?"

	"Only if you want to." Gord replied.

	Fabien looked at the couch for a few seconds, before replying, "I think
I'll sit."

	Gord nodded and said, "Okay then. First of all, is it okay if I took notes
during our meeting tonight, or would you prefer that we did this off the
record?"

	Fabien shrugged and replied, "It's okay if you take notes, I guess."

	Gord nodded and continued, "Well, your father explained why we're meeting
tonight, but I'd like you to tell me about it."

	Fabien keeled over slightly, putting his elbows on his legs and his hands
on his head, "I guess he wants me to tell you about Tommy."

	"It doesn't matter what he wants you to tell me about, Fabien." Gord
replied, "It's about what you want to talk about. If you would like to talk
about Tommy, we can talk about Tommy."

	"Okay." Fabien replied, still looking down.

	Gord waited a few seconds, and when it became apparent that Fabien wasn't
going to say anymore, he said, "Very well. Why don't you start by telling me
about Tommy?"

	Fabien looked up slightly and said, "Okay, umm...He's this kid that lives
down the street. I used to babysit for him. He sort of looks up to me, I
guess, and sees me as a sort of friend, I guess. I dunno."

	Gord nodded and took a few notes, then said, "And how do you feel about
Tommy?"

	Fabien took a deep breath and looked down again, then said, "Well,
I...ummm...I...I like him, I guess."

	"You like him?" Gord responded, "Okay, well what kinds of things do you two
do together?"

	Fabien shrugged, "Well, during the summer we go swimming sometimes, and he
comes over and we watch TV together and play video games and sometimes he
sleeps over."

	Gord continued to take notes as he asked, "Very well. Have you ever thought
about him in a way that was...hmmm...more than a friend?"

	Fabien looked up, an angry look on his face, and said, "Look, you obviously
know everything already, so why are you bothering to ask stupid questions?"

	Gord looked at Fabien and replied, "I just want to get your take on it, is
all. What I know or don't know is irrelevant."

	Fabien sighed, "Fine! I love him, all right? We have sex together and it's
because I love him!"

	Gord nodded and took some more notes. Fabien actually felt somewhat good,
telling somebody else that he loved Tommy. He had told his parents and Tommy
himself, but this was some guy who he had only just met. It was a nice
feeling.

	"What do you define as `sex', Fabien?" Gord asked, looking up again

	"What do you mean?" Fabien asked.

	"I mean," said Gord, clarifying, "what kinds of things do you do with
Tommy, which you would define as `sex'?"


	Fabien looked at the ground again and felt his face begin to get hot,
"Umm...We do stuff with...like...ummm...like with our mouths, I guess."

	Gord shrugged, "You mean like oral sex?"

	Fabien nodded, "Uh huh...I guess."

	"Anything else?"

	Fabien shrugged, really not feeling comfortable talking about it, "We
also...um...geez...I...I don't know if I can really talk about it. Sorry."

	Gord nodded, "It's okay. That's all right. I was just wondering, is all.
Have you two ever had anal sex, though?"

	Fabien looked up, "No! No way! I don't...I mean...I dunno..."

	"What?" Gord probed

	Fabien shrugged, "I just...I guess I don't...I dunno. I never really
thought about doing it with him. I don't think either of us would like it,
though."

	Gord nodded, "Very well. Has he performed oral sex on you?"

	Fabien looked down and nodded.

	"Is that a yes?"

	Fabien nodded again and said softly, "I taught him. I sat there and made
sure he got it just right."

	Gord smiled slightly, "Okay. Umm, Fabien, just for the record, how old is
Tommy?"

	Fabien sighed, still not looking up, "I'm sure my father already told you."

	The man nodded, "Like I said, it doesn't matter what he told me. This is
about you talking to me. Pretend like I don't know anything about this."

	Fabien looked at the ground and softly replied, "Tommy's eight."

	Gord leaned closer, "Pardon?"

	Fabien looked up, tears streaming down his face, and said, "He's only
eight."

	"What's the matter?"

	Fabien shrugged and wiped his eyes with his wrist, then sniffled and
replied, "I don't know. I guess I just had a really bad day today and
talking to you like this is making me feel sort of weird."

	"Weird?"

	Fabien shrugged, "Yeah, I guess sort of...well...bad."

	"Bad? In what way?"

	Fabien sniffled and said, "I think I'd like to lie down after all."

	Gord motioned with his hand and repeated, "In what way bad, Fabien?"

	Fabien lay down on the couch and, looking up at the stucco ceiling,
replied, "I dunno...I mean, I love Tommy and all, but lately I've been
wondering if what I'm doing with him is...I guess, sick."

	"Do you think it's sick?"

	Fabien shook his head, "I don't think I do. I mean, I think about him all
the time and I don't know what I'd do without him. He's, basically, my whole
life. I love having sex with him, but I also just love holding him and
talking to him and kissing him."

	"Have you ever felt this way about anybody else?"

	Fabien shook his head, "No. I don't like guys my own age, anyway."

	"Why not?"

	"I don't know! I've always sort of wondered about that. I mean, I know that
I'm gay, because I just feel nothing when I look at girls, but I can't
imagine doing anything with a seventeen-year-old guy either."

	"Why not?" Gord asked again.

	Fabien smiled slightly, "They all have stubble on their face and these punk
looks, and they probably have hair on their bodies too. I just think it's so
gross."

	"Okay," Gord said, "well how do you feel about boys that are Tommy's age?"

	Fabien shrugged, "I dunno, I think that they're, I guess, cute. Some of
them are, anyway."

	"Well, do you ever think about doing anything with any of them, like what
you do with Tommy?"

	Fabien shrugged, "Yeah, sometimes when I go past the elementary school, I
see some of them playing and I...I guess...I wonder what they look
like...You know...like, without their clothes? It makes me feel bad,
though."

	"Why does it make you feel bad?"

	Fabien sat up again, "Because I don't want to be a pedophile! I mean, I
love Tommy, but I can't help not loving him or having feelings about other
boys. I just...I just wish I were normal."

	"Normal, how?" Gord asked.

	Fabien shrugged, "Normal. I mean, I don't mind being gay and stuff, but I
wish I didn't want to have sex with little boys so much. I'd still want to
be with Tommy, I think, but sometimes after I...I suck him or jack him
off...I feel really, really bad, but I can't help myself from doing it."

	Gord nodded, but looked at the clock, "Well, Fabien, it sounds like you
have some issues with that, but we're running out of time, so we'll continue
that topic in another session."

	"Another session?" Fabien asked.

	Gord nodded and put down his pad, "Yeah, your father arranged this to be an
ongoing thing, once a week."

	Fabien lay back down on the couch and shook his head, "Terrific. What a
great day this has been."

	Gord nodded, "Well, that's actually the next thing I wanted to talk to you
about. Tell me, Fabien, about school."

	Fabien sighed, "I don't think we have time. It's sort of a long story."

	Gord shrugged, "You're my last patient of the evening. We can go over the
hour a bit, if need be."

	Fabien shrugged, "Okay...Whatever..."

TO BE CONTINUED....