Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. It does not and will not exist outside the fantasy world.
© Matt Caper
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Matt-Caper/122147427866557
Chapter 6
Maybe I was being overly sensitive about Ryan's little tryst. I mean, it wasn't as if he and I were supposed to be committed to each other. Be that as it may, I still felt foolish for making myself vulnerable to him, and I showed it by being rather cold toward him. Sensitive or not, this was the second time I felt screwed over by Ryan Jennings. I didn't intend to allow a third.
He tried to talk to me the rest of the week, but I ignored him. I wasn't really mad at Corey, but he avoided me anyway. He was probably too embarrassed to face me. Suited me just fine. That way I didn't have to confront my own feelings about the whole thing. I just went on with my work and buried it all somewhere inside me.
I had Landon to think about anyway. Though Mrs. Stout, his foster mother, had signed him out of the hospital and taken him home, he was left on his own shortly thereafter. Not that he needed anyone to wait on him; he was able to get around, even if slowly because of the bruises. But Noah and Nicholas gladly accepted the job. I picked Landon up from the "house of chaos" as I liked to call it and planned for him to stay with us for a while.
"Mr. Stout's not gonna let me have another car," he told me. We had just gotten him home on Wednesday evening and were setting him up in the recliner, so he didn't have to move for a while.
I frowned. "Why not?"
"He says it doesn't make much sense to get me another one when I'm never home anymore. Before, I used to cart all the little kids everywhere. But now Emily just got her license, so they're getting a car for her. They say she's more responsible."
I exhaled slowly. Of course life would get harder for us. Nothing can be easy, right? "Tell you what. When you get better, you can start taking me to work and picking me up. Then you can have my car during the day. Would you go for that? That means I would trust you to show up when I needed you, every single time, no exceptions. And you'd have to cart those two around everywhere. If you don't think you can do that, you don't have to. But you won't go anywhere, and you might get stuck at your house for long periods of time."
"You would trust me with your car? Every day?" he asked in amazement.
"Landon, you haven't let me down yet. And maybe you could use some more responsibility to teach you how to better perceive others' needs. I would trust you."
"I'll do it, then," he said confidently.
"When school starts again, I'll have to take it over again. Good thing we live close to the high school so you and Noah can walk. But who knows, maybe we can find you a car of your own by then."
He gaped at me, disbelieving. "You'd really buy me a car? For real?"
"Yeah, if I could find one cheap enough. I'm still kinda hoping this foster thing works out so you can live here permanently. There's no way they'd wanna move you again since you'll be eighteen in a couple of years."
He appeared not to know how to respond. "No one's ever actually wanted me to move in with them. No one asks to house older kids, especially boys."
"Yeah? Well get used to being wanted, dude. Now that you're here, we couldn't do without you."
Landon sat still and silent in the chair, looking a little shocked, but also fairly beaming. I thought maybe I'd ask my dad that weekend if he could help me look around for a good, cheap car. He was better at that sort of thing than I was.
When I did ask him, he was surprised I would do such a thing for a kid that wasn't mine. But then I told him about the foster parent training I was going to take. Sheila Henderson had set it up for me, and I was scheduled for the upcoming class.
"Good grief!" Dad said. "Those boys done turned you into a parent!"
I laughed. "Well you gotta get grandchildren somehow, right?" As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back. What the hell was I thinking?
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"Nothin'. I just don't see myself getting married, that's all."
"Aren't you too young to be saying that? You talk like you have your whole life planned out."
"No, I don't have everything planned out. But not everyone has to get married, you know."
Dad looked at me funny but didn't respond. I thought he seemed a little troubled by my words, but I couldn't really tell. I couldn't believe I had blurted that out without thinking. But he said he'd look around and let me know if he saw something.
When Monday rolled around again, I was starting my second and final week of lifeguard classes. It was awful uncomfortable being there and not speaking to Ryan, but I wasn't going to quit just because of his sorry ass. Nicholas, as always, joined me and watched from the sidelines. Him simply being there gave me courage; courage just to get through the class, as well as not cave in to Ryan's charms. Though that day he didn't make the effort to talk to me. Sure made my life easier.
Tuesday, however, was a different matter. I had all three boys with me that morning. Landon was feeling much better, so he would be driving my car and taking me to work. I brought my work clothes with me so I could shower at the pool after class and go straight to work. I'd already made sack lunches for me and the boys. Our new routine was planned and ready for action.
Landon and Noah were hardly awake when we left for the city pool. Therefore, they opted to sleep in the car during my class. Nicholas, of course, stuck with me. Most of the class went smoothly, except when Ryan decided to try his charms one more time. He was addressing the class while standing directly next to me in the water. His hand surreptitiously rested on my ass and remained there. I was appalled. Did he really think I was going to allow that? I bounced away from him casually and stood out of his reach.
Nothing else of consequence happened until after class. He followed me into the shower instead of chatting it up with the ladies. I shed my speedo and ignored him as always, starting a spray and darting under it. He undressed as well, but instead of using his own shower, he joined me at mine. Ignoring him now was virtually impossible.
"Please talk to me," he said softly.
I pushed him away. "Fuck off."
Next thing I knew, he had me pinned against the wall. His entire body covered mine, and he was suddenly making out with me. It took me a few seconds to regain my senses. I placed my palms on his shoulders and pushed. Hard. Ryan stumbled backward while I remained against the wall, reeling.
"What the hell, man?" I spat. "You can't just make out with me whenever you feel like it. I'm not even attracted to you."
"Oh yeah?" he said smugly, approaching me again, but slowly. "Then why are you boning up right now?"
I looked down to find my cock half hard, and hardening. "Fuck," I cursed under my breath.
"How many times do I have to apologize to make you speak to me again?" He reached out and cupped my balls, and his other hand massaged my wet nipples. "I could make it up to you in a way you'd really like."
I could hardly breathe. My cock stood at full attention, and my head felt like it was floating. "Come on, Ryan," I rasped. "You're gonna make us late for work. Besides, Nicholas is right outside."
"Last week was murder when you ignored me," he moaned, stroking my shaft.
Breathing heavily, my own hand moved of its own volition to Ryan's cock. "Fine. I won't ignore you."
"You forgive me, then?"
"Yeah, I forgive you. Just forget about it, okay?" Once again he closed the gap between our lips, and I let myself fall into the kiss, until a sound off to the side made me break away. Nicholas was at the entrance to the showers, merely staring with unblinking eyes. I pushed Ryan away and nodded toward the boy.
Ryan grinned and began using his own shower, though he eyed my hard-on the entire time. I had to dry and dress while still hard, which frustrated the hell out of me. I left without another word, grabbed Nicholas, and left for work.
"Sorry I made you stop," Nicholas said on the way to the car.
"I have to get to work anyway." I woke up the other two and drove to the Center. "Landon? Drive carefully," I said like always, just before he drove off with my car. They were going to Granny's today, which meant I wouldn't see them before the end of my shift.
As soon as I walked in the door, I was practically accosted by Gloria. At least that's how it felt. A church youth group was coming in about an hour, which meant Ryan and I had a busy day ahead of us. They'd only be there for three or four hours; I figured it wouldn't take much to lead their activities. I was definitely wrong.
There were only two main activities they would participate in: basketball and swimming. Their basketball playing would consist of a tournament, while the swimming was just to relax and cool down after playing on the court. Most of the girls were disinterested in basketball, and most of the boys cared nothing about following the rules. Kids were everywhere, getting into things, getting in the way, and generally listening to nothing we said. Before we even reached swimming time, Ryan and I were ready to line them all up and hire a firing squad.
At the pool, the kids continued to ignore us and our rules. They all wanted to run, and Ryan blew his whistle probably a thousand times. Not to mention I was getting hoarse from yelling at them. It's amazing none of them hurt themselves, but that's really only because we stayed on them like hawks. That was the worst day I'd had thus far at the YCC.
When they were all gone, we had a huge mess to clean up. It was definitely going to take the rest of my shift to finish. But even with all the work left to do, Ryan still decided we needed a "break". We were working silently in that fateful pool equipment room, when Corey suddenly appeared. Ryan grinned and urged Corey inside. He closed the door and turned to address us.
"I think it's time for a break. We should all kiss and make up, and kiss a little more."
"But..." began Corey. "I thought it was just you and me..."
"I wanted to surprise you. Both of you. What do you say we have a little thing real quick?" Ryan leaned into Corey and kissed him on the lips. Corey responded but seemed very uncomfortable.
"Come 'ere, Grey," Ryan said sultrily. "I'll take care of that hard-on problem you had earlier, while Corey's hot mouth sucks on mine."
"Are you fucking kidding me, Jennings?" I gaped. "You've gone too far."
"What? I know you'd enjoy it. I'm trying to make friends with you again."
"You've got a fucked up way of doing that. I don't do threesomes. You two have fun." I stormed past them and yanked open the door.
"Sorry, I can't get into it, either," Corey said quietly and followed me out. I worked silently through the rest of my shift.
Strangely enough, I wasn't angry this time. But it was very clear to me that Ryan didn't like me, he only wanted my body. Not that that wouldn't have been nice, to fool around a little. But lately I'd been set on actually connecting with someone on a deeper level than sex. Of course, I knew I might regret it later when I was jacking off in front of the computer.
When I was done with work for the day, I went outside to wait on Landon rather than swim. I didn't want to afford Ryan another opportunity to hit on me. Landon didn't show, however, and soon I was getting a call from his phone. As soon as it started ringing, I began to panic. I couldn't handle another wreck!
"Grey?" It was Landon's voice. Maybe I was developing a parent's intuition, I don't know. But merely with his first word I knew something was wrong, but not anything tragic. In fact, he sounded embarrassed and guilty.
"Okay, what happened?" I asked.
"We came home after Granny's, so we could have a snack and play on the computer for a while. But now the car won't start. Um... I think it's out of gas."
"Awww, man," I whined.
"I'm really sorry," he offered.
"It's my fault, buddy. I should have been watching it. I guess I should've left you some money to put gas in it. Okay, never mind. I'll get a ride home with someone, and we'll take care of it."
"Okay, see you soon. Love you."
I blinked, taken by surprise by his expression of affection. "Love you too. Bye." I smiled as I hung up, but then promptly cursed. Ryan was the only damn person I knew I could ask for help. This was the consequence of being anti-social. I headed toward the building, taking each step with dread. I was searching my inner self for the humility I would need to ask Ryan for a ride.
Before I reached the door, it opened and Corey stepped out, followed by a younger boy, an absolute Adonis. He had glorious blond hair, straight and long unlike Corey's buzzed head. It was practically golden, and his skin was like porcelain. Immediately I felt like I was looking at an older version of Nicholas.
"Hey man." Corey stopped and ducked his head, kicking a rock on the pavement. "Sorry about, you know, Ryan and all. I wasn't... I mean, I didn't mean to..."
"Don't worry about it," I said quickly, saving him from himself. "It's not your fault. I was stupid enough to believe he actually liked me." I shrugged and smiled, causing him to smile back.
I turned to the other boy and introduced myself. "I'm Grey Taylor. You're obviously Corey's brother."
"Sorry," said Corey. "I forgot to introduce you."
The boy shook my hand a little longer than I expected. "I'm Jordan Kendall. It's nice to meet you."
I was absolutely lost in his gorgeous eyes. "Likewise." He finally dropped my hand, but we continued to stare at each other.
"Do you need a ride somewhere?" Jordan's voice was smooth like an angel's. At least that's how I imagined an angel's voice to sound.
"Yeah, actually. I was gonna ask Ryan, but..." I explained the situation I was in, having to explain some of the details about the boys as well. I felt like I was giving my life story.
"I'll be glad to help. I'll see you at home, Corey." We bid Corey adieu, and I followed Jordan to his own car.
"I appreciate this, Jordan. You don't even know me."
"No problem. Corey's mentioned you before. He didn't say you were so good-looking."
I felt myself blush darkly. "Thanks."
"I wouldn't say so, but Corey told me you're gay."
I wondered if Ryan had told Corey I was gay, or if Corey could tell already. "And you're gay, too?"
Jordan nodded. "Gay as a lark." We were driving out of the parking lot and headed toward a gas station.
"Do you mind if I ask how old you are?" I asked.
"Sixteen, nearly seventeen. I'll be a Senior this year."
"Damn. You're too gorgeous to be that young."
Jordan turned his head toward me and grinned. "You think I'm gorgeous?"
"Yeah. Who wouldn't?"
"You think we could go out sometime? I'm not a jerk like that fucker Ryan Jennings."
"Corey told you about that, huh?"
"Corey tells me a lot of things. We're pretty close. He felt bad about what Ryan did to you. He didn't even know about you when he was blowing Ryan."
"Man, he tells you just about everything, doesn't he?" I laughed.
"He's more than three years older than me, but we've always shared a lot. He's my best friend."
"I think that's pretty cool. I'm pretty close to my brothers, too."
"So you never answered my question." He was pulling next to a gas pump at the station. "Will you go out with me sometime?"
"Um, let me think about it while I go get a gas can."
"I've got one in my trunk." He retrieved it and then stuck his debit card into the machine.
"Dude! I don't want you paying for it."
He smiled, and his teeth sparkled. "Too late."
His voice was soft and musical with everything he said, like a brook on a mountain. I felt very serene just listening to him. "Yeah, okay, let's go out sometime. We can get to know each other, at least. We might not even like each other."
"True enough." He shut off the pump and placed the full can in his trunk. Once we were back in the car, I directed him to my house. I kept stealing glances, too, trying to soak up more of his beauty.
When we pulled up in my driveway, all of my boys came bouncing down the stairs to greet us. Jordan got to work funneling gasoline into my tank. "Aren't you Jordan Kendall?" Landon asked.
"That's me," Jordan answered. "Who're you?"
"I'm Landon Emerson. I'm a grade behind you. I've watched you play tennis before. You're really good."
"Thanks, Landon." He offered the same sweet, bright smile as before. "I've already heard a lot about you guys. Grey speaks highly of you."
Nicholas came to me and clung to me, and I put my arm around him. "I feel bad watching you do all the work, Jordan. You're kind to help me out."
"I don't mind. I'll even follow you to the gas station to make sure you make it." When he put everything away, I got behind my wheel and started the car. Eventually. It took several turns before firing up. The boys climbed in with me, and it was off to where I'd just come from.
Jordan didn't let me leave the gas station, however, before getting my number. We put each other's numbers in our cells and planned to meet again the next day. He would be at the YCC to play racquetball again, he said, and was invited by my boys to join them in swimming afterward. He graciously accepted, and I immediately started picturing how he would look in a bathing suit.
"You're going out with Jordan Kendall?" Landon gushed as we drove home. "That is so cool! Everybody likes him at school."
"That makes me wonder why he's asking me out when he could have anyone he wanted."
"'Cause you're better than everyone else," Nicholas answered.
"Yeah," Noah echoed. "You're hot and nice."
"You guys are awesome," I beamed.
"You know what?" Noah said thoughtfully. "Jordan looks like Nicholas. Don't you think he does? Or the other way around. They could be brothers. Maybe we're not related after all, Nicky. Maybe you're a Kendall instead."
"I'm not a Kendall," Nicholas said defiantly. "I'm a Taylor. I decided to change my name from Nicholas David Warren to Nicholas David Taylor."
"What a cool idea!" Noah said. "I could be Noah Christopher Taylor!"
"And I could be Landon Jacob Taylor!" Landon joined in. "Can I change my name for real when I move in with you?"
I pulled into our driveway and shut off the engine. "Don't know, Landon. I think I'd have to adopt you first. Or you could change it when you're eighteen."
"Will you adopt me, then?"
"I'm only three years older than you!"
"So?" Landon shrugged. "It don't matter to me. You're my only real family."
I was touched by his vulnerability and willingness to be mine permanently. "I'll give it some thought." Regardless of the legalities, I expected all three boys to be in my life from now on.
♂
The next morning, I was ridiculously excited about the possibilities of the day. I tried not to let on to the boys how much I was looking forward to seeing Jordan. If it all went to shit, I didn't want to look like a fool for hoping. Again.
But first I had to deal with Ryan. I decided not to ignore him this time when I arrived at the class. I smiled and politely greeted him, and he seemed relieved about that. Afterward, however, I had to have a talk with him. Ironically, it was while we were showering.
"I'm not mad about yesterday," I told him. "It's all good. I'm not real interested in fooling around, just so you know. I was kinda hoping for a boyfriend."
"Right on," he said, even while ravaging my body with his eyes. "I was just looking for a summer fling, that's all. I got a girlfriend waiting for me at school."
I laughed. "You're really a piece of work, Jennings. Maybe you should think about going one way or the other. That way you don't end up hurting anybody."
He shrugged. "Ain't nothing wrong with getting my game on while I'm still young. I ain't married yet."
"Okay, dude. I mean, it's not like I haven't messed around before. I like it as much as the next guy."
"Yeah man, I get it. Sometimes you just want something more. It's cool. But hey, let me know if you feel like gettin' it on," he grinned.
I nodded with a smile. I was keenly aware that things could come to that. But as Landon drove me to work, I became more and more excited - and nervous - about the upcoming events. That faded after a while, though. I had to go through nearly my entire day before even getting to see Jordan, let alone talk to him. In fact, by the time I saw him, I'd pretty much convinced myself it wouldn't work out between us.
Nevertheless, I found myself unable to keep from searching him out. The boys had already arrived and were playing together in the pool. I was nearly through with my shift and hadn't even caught a glimpse of Jordan yet, so I snuck into the racquetball area to find him. My heart skipped a beat when he came into my sight. I was viewing his backside as he furiously played, sweat cascading off of him. His shorts clung to his ass, and the sweat created a clear view of his form; I could see the outline of his boxers, as well as the curves of his hips and butt cheeks. I watched him for a few minutes, but then had to leave when I began to imagine all the things I could do to his body and what he could do to mine.
When I finished up with work, I headed straight into the locker room for a quick shower and change. I was just suiting up in my speedo when Jordan floated in. I imagined he had invisible angel wings, so smooth was his stride.
"Hiya," he smiled and began to undress. His entire body glistened with musky, wonderful moisture. I suddenly had the urge to lick it off every inch of him.
"Hi. See you out there." I felt awkward and was sure I sounded like a dumbass, even with those few words. I chastised myself for being so inarticulate as I dashed out of there. What was on my mind the most was avoiding seeming clingy and desperate. The incredible urge to follow him around like a puppy, with my tongue hanging out, was pounding in my chest. That drove me to act in the opposite manner, perhaps to an extreme, which amounted more toward ignoring him.
I chatted with the boys a little, but then I fell into my laps routine, which I continued even when Jordan entered the pool area. I was dying to see what kind of swim trunks he had on, but I plowed on like a bulldozer through the chlorine infested water. I hardly came up for air for the next fifteen minutes or so.
When I finally stopped and took note of my surroundings, I witnessed an interesting scene. Once again I was looking at Jordan's backside - and what a view! I was immensely pleased that he also wore a speedo. The interesting part, though, was the way my brood was attached to him, as it were. He spoke, and they hung on every word. He moved, and they followed. Currently he seemed to be giving the boys pointers on diving. And after a few moments, he climbed up on the diving board and demonstrated his expertise. So graceful, I thought. Definitely an angel.
I sauntered over to the group and stood at the edge while Jordan clung to the wall and gazed up at me from the water. "It seems you have fans," I jerked my thumb toward the boys. "Is there nothing you can't do well?"
He shrugged and pulled himself up, forcing me to step backward. The cheeky fellow's gaze remained fixed on my body until our eyes met when he stood fully before me. "Dunno. Lots of things, probably."
"Right," I drawled.
"We invited Jordan to dinner," Noah said behind me.
Jordan and I continued to face each other, standing dangerously close to one another. "I hear you're the world's best cook," he said.
"No, that title belongs to my mom. But I guess I have to think of something to impress you with tonight, huh?"
He smirked. "You want to impress me, do you? I guess that means you're attracted to me."
I heard giggling behind me. I was amused, too, but I didn't let on. Instead I pursed my lips, raised my hand and pushed. Jordan went tumbling backward into the pool. Instantly the boys erupted into laughter, and I looked up as I heard the lifeguard's whistle. Ryan was shaking his finger at me as a reprimand. I grinned and bashfully waved at him. Turning around and ignoring the surfacing Jordan, I addressed the boys. "I think I'll shower off. You guys take your time if you wanna stay longer. I'm in no hurry." I walked off, throwing a smirk behind me toward the blond angel.
What I'd hoped would happen, did. I hadn't been under the shower spray but a minute when Jordan appeared. He gave me a playful push, and I giggled. "Are you impressed yet?" I asked.
He laughed. "The view certainly got better." He eyed my naked body up and down.
I blushed, which made him laugh more. I shot him the bird and continued with my shower in silence. I didn't miss my chance, however, to see what he'd been hiding in that speedo. Front and back alike were hot enough to create steam in the room without the aid of hot water. This guy was surely going to be my undoing, one way or another.
When I finished, I loitered in the locker room, which produced the expected result. Jordan joined me soon after, and we watched each other dry off in silence. I was soon aware that I needed to dress quickly, lest my body react in an embarrassing manner.
"I still think it's weird you're still in high school. I shouldn't be as attracted to you as I am."
Weren't you in high school last year? We're not that far apart in age."
"I know," I shrugged. "I guess it's just a psychological thing. You're barely older than Landon, and he wants me to adopt him."
"Wow, really? Adopt him? That's wild."
"Tell me about it. It feels kinda weird. But all the same I wanna do it. He's already like family to me, you know? All the boys are."
"I bet you'd be an awesome dad. Maybe you just need someone to help out. You know, like a boyfriend or something. Someone who'll be around for a while."
I peered through wet bangs at Jordan. "So what are you saying?"
"Nothing," he said quickly. "I'm not suggesting anything. You just seem like good relationship material, that's all."
"Thanks," I murmured. I was fully dressed by then. "You feel like walking around outside until the boys come out? They probably won't be long. Hunger will get the best of them."
"Sure. That would be nice."
Outside it was easier to concentrate, seeing as how we were dressed and all. We meandered about aimlessly, shooting the shit, learning more about each other. I couldn't really figure out why, but he just seemed so much older than the other boys, even Landon. It was like he had everything figured out and was comfortable with who he was. I didn't know any other teenagers like that, not even myself.
"You're not human, are you?" I blurted suddenly in the middle of our conversation.
Jordan stopped walking and looked at me with surprise. "I must not be making a good impression on you like I thought," he murmured.
"Nah, I don't mean that in a bad way. You're just...not like any other boy I know. You're, like, sane and emotionally stable. And way mature for your age. Seriously, where did you come from? I keep expecting you to sprout angel wings or something."
"Ha!" he snorted. "Now that's a new one. Only my momma's ever called me an angel."
I shrugged. "I just can't figure out why you like me. It sounds like you're pretty popular and could have any guy you wanted. Like someone better than me."
"What's so wrong with you?"
"I dunno. My family doesn't have money like yours apparently does. I don't have a hot bod or anything. I'm just average."
"I think you're being too negative about yourself. You can't love someone else until you love yourself."
I stared at him for a moment, letting his words sink in. I couldn't deny he was right.
"Besides," he added. "We're not getting married tonight. Just having dinner."
I smiled. "I still think you have wings." He smiled back, and we shared a brief special moment in silence, until the noise of hungry boys' voices burst out the door near us. We took our leave so I could get started on dinner, while Jordan agreed to arrive when he was ready.
At home, Nicholas and I took residence in the kitchen, as usual. The other two picked up clutter around the place. "Get a wet rag and dust the place too," I told them. They happily obliged, which I marveled at. I was never too fond of helping my mom with housework. I didn't think any kid did housework without grumbling. I was betting I was pretty lucky having these kids.
"Grey?" Nicholas asked in a small voice, as we worked side by side. "Is Jordan gonna sleep over tonight?"
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "It's too soon for that."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."
"Good? Why good?"
"'Cause," he stated, keeping his eyes on his work. "I'm not ready to give you up yet."
"What makes you think you have to give me up?" I asked, concerned.
He offered a half shrug, blushing a little. "If you get a boyfriend, you're not gonna want me hanging around anymore."
"That's not true."
He turned and looked at me with his big, adorable eyes. "Yeah it is. I won't get to sleep with you anymore 'cause you'll sleep with him. And you'll cuddle with him when you watch TV. I won't even get to sit in the front seat of the car anymore if he's with us. I mean, it's okay, 'cause I know it's gonna happen sometime." His eyes became moist, and he looked away. "But I still don't like it very much."
The pain I felt in my chest right then was, I'm sure, comparable to a heart attack. It hurt. I left the hamburger meat that was cooking on the stove and took Nicholas in my arms, forcing him to put down his vegetable-cutting knife and concede to my embrace. "I guess I can't do much about the boyfriend thing, except not get one. But realistically, I'll probably have one someday." I bent down close to his ear, so the others wouldn't hear. They were in the bedroom, but this was still between me and Nicholas.
"Do you even know how much I love you?" I whispered. "You three boys are all so different, I can't have a favorite. I love you all so much. But just between you and me? You have a special place in my heart that they don't have. I don't know why, and I can't really explain it. I just know I couldn't possibly live the rest of my life without you." At this point, I pulled away and turned his tear-stained face toward mine. "And another thing. If any guy around here can't deal with you being a part of my life, well then, they can fuck off. Any boyfriend of mine will already know that you'll be in bed with us if you damn well want to be. He can sleep on the couch if he doesn't like it. It's not like we'll be fucking with you guys around, anyway."
"Really?" he sniffed. "I can still sleep with you?"
"Damn straight. And if you decide to, you can sit between us in the front seat when we're driving. I won't take that away from you. Besides, I like being with you as much as you like being with me. Don't forget that. You're always gonna be my number one priority. If I had to choose between you and a boyfriend, I would definitely choose you."
Nicholas grinned so brightly, I knew my words had affected him the way I'd hoped. He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "I love you so much!" he gushed.
"I love you too, more than anything in this world," I said honestly. "Now get back to slicing cucumbers." Though I meant everything I said, I was glad he had brought it up, so when Jordan came over, I could be careful not to inadvertently ignore Nicholas even a little.
Like when Ryan had dined with us, we ate in the livingroom with Jordan. I had a small kitchen table and only four chairs. However, I didn't sit as far as possible from Jordan, as I had done Ryan. While Noah and Landon cuddled in the recliner, I sat close to Jordan on the couch, with Nicholas on my other side. And it was very comfortable. I interacted with Nicholas more than anyone else, but Jordan seemed so relaxed and content, nothing felt awkward.
I had turned the couch to face the TV again, but I still expected Nicholas would cuddle up with me at movie time. He did something that surprised me instead. When he and I finished taking everyone's plates and depositing them in the sink, we returned to the couch. I sat near Jordan, but not too close, while Nicholas popped a DVD into the player. Then, before sitting, he began pushing Jordan in my direction.
"Sit closer," he said. Jordan scooted over with a small laugh. "No, closer. Keep going." He urged Jordan over until he and I were hip to hip. I grinned at Jordan and shrugged, and neither one of us said anything. Nicholas then stretched out on the other side of me, putting his head in my lap. I, of course, caressed Nicholas's head like I knew he wanted. But I also took the opportunity to put my other arm around Jordan, who leaned into my embrace comfortably.
I didn't make any other moves on Jordan the rest of the night. We all seemed content with what we had; I know I was. Anything more might have ruined the perfect night. But everything was so wonderful. And in the end, when we said goodnight to Jordan, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, then did the same to Nicholas. And that was probably the best thing he could've done. Nicholas ate it up, and so did I. Jordan seemed to have genuine affection for Nicholas, and that absolutely thrilled me.
"Okay," said Nicholas when Jordan had gone. "He can be your boyfriend if you want."
"Oh, so I have your permission, do I?" I teased.
"Yep." And he gave me the biggest shit-eating grin ever.