Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2000 09:17:16 EST
From: VicHowel@aol.com
Subject: growing up sexual - chapter XII

My thanks to the Gadfly especially for some thoughts that led to this
chapter.  I'd like to hear from more of you as to the plot twists and other
things you'd like to see happen in this story.  If I can work it in, I
will.  So, write me at Vichowel@aol.com.

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Growing Up Sexual, Chapter XII, by Dave MacMillan


My butt was sore by the time we got back to Soul Sunday afternoon.  It had
had enough dicks shooting cum in it to satisfy me for a month of Sundays.
I just wanted to get away from Rev. Robertson and my memories of the
Thanksgiving holiday.  That meant getting away from Billy and Richard
too. Just too many people had seen me naked and put their dicks in me for
me to be comfortable with it.

But I needed to talk with them too.  I figured we were going to have to
have a real serious pow-wow - if we weren't going to get more calls like
the one Bobby had made to me.  That took precedence over getting away from
everybody and pretending things hadn't happened.  I figured the three of us
had been bullied into going to Jimmy Robertson's Thanksgiving retreat.
Nobody had threatened to beat us up or anything.  There'd just been the
clear implication that we'd be told on.  And Howard's good buddy from
Atlanta, the good Rev. Robertson had set the whole thing up.  He'd do it
again - if we didn't stop him.

I waited until the next morning.  I sat down next to Richard in home room
and didn't like it that he cringed when he realized who'd sat down beside
him.  "You , Billy, and me have to talk," I told him.

"What's there to talk about, Vic?" he groaned.

"You want to make another movie?" I hissed.  He shook his head slowly, his
face almost crimson.  "Then we get together and figure out how to stop it.
This afternoon, Richard - someplace quiet with no-one to see us or hear
us."  He nodded and I moved back to my desk.

I spent the rest of the day trying to figure how to stop the grown-up who
knew about me and was willing to use his bullies on me - on all three of
us.  And I kept getting madder.

I liked dick.  I liked sucking it, and I liked having one in my butt.  I
figured that made me queer.  A faggot.  A homo.  I didn't like it.  At
least, I didn't like the dirty names or the kind of treatment I figured I'd
get if just anybody knew about me.  What I wanted was control of my body -
at least, I wanted to participate fully in any decisions that involved me.
Who got to use it and what they did with it.  I wanted it to be my decision
to - two boys having fun.

I figured Billy was pretty much like me.  He was queer like me.  But he
didn't want the whole world knowing about it.  I knew for a fact that he
got real involved when he was having sex; he sure kept giving me all sorts
of instructions when I was doing him.

I was still surprised about Richard.  It was still hard to imagine him
bending over and taking it up the butt.  To me, Richard Lee was still his
dick first and any sex I had with him had him in me.  That was Richard in
his natural state.  What had happened to him over the holiday was
unnatural.

Rev. Robertson and the three boys he's used to trap us at camp had made
Richard Lee do things he wasn't supposed to do.  And they'd put it all on
film - a movie with all three of us taking dick up the butt and down the
throat.  People were going to buy that movie and see us like that.  They'd
know that we were queer, and there wasn't anything we could do about it.

That afternoon we sat out on the patio of my house.  I faced Richard and
asked: "Did you know what was going to happen when we left home?"

He looked down at his feet.  "I didn't know about the movie."

"But you figured it was going to non-stop sex, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"So, why did you go?  Why did you let Billy go?"

He looked at me, his face red and tears in his eyes.  "James got me at
camp.  He said he'd let it be known around-"

"Those boys live in Atlanta and Macon.  Who were they going to tell that
would get back to us?"  At that moment, I wish I'd have thought of that
question when the preacher started setting up his camera in the bathroom.

"He said it'd get back to the church, that it'd filter down so that people
in Soul would hear about it."  He looked back at his feet.  "He said Billy
and I both had to go - one just wouldn't be good enough.  That they were
planning on all three of us to be there."  He pushed himself to his feet.
"If it'd been just me, I'd have called his bluff."  He looked at Billy.

I did too.  Billy sobbed.  "I sorry, Richard.  I really, really am.  At
camp, I liked Bobby and Tom-"

"Me too," I admitted.

"I like having sex with you, Richard.  You're real good, but I like it with
Vic and - at camp - I liked it with them, too."

Richard put his hand on his brother's arm.  "It's okay, Billy.  I don't
mind Vic; he shares.  It's almost like he's one of us.  And I just figured
you'd screwed up and got in over your head with those two.  Until they
called.  We were all up shit creek then."

He turned to me.  "Billy's my brother, Vic.  Nobody is going to hurt him,
not if I can help it.  I'll even do things I wouldn't do for myself if it
protects him."

I nodded.  I wished I had someone who loved me like Richard did Billy.  I
pulled my thoughts back to our situation.  "How do we make sure there isn't
a next time?" I asked.

"There is no way!" Billy wailed.  "They've got us in that damned movie now.
We've got to go if they call us again.  We've got to do it again."

"No!" I growled.

"How we stop them?" Richard asked.

"We can tell-"

"Oh yeah, Howell, that's real smart!  Then everybody will know - including
the kids in school.  Why don't we just make up signs with homo in giant
letters on them and wear them around school?"

I chewed on my lower lip.  Telling the cops would be like that.  Telling
Howard would too - if he didn't believe Rev. Robertson instead.  I smiled
suddenly.  "Mom would keep it quiet-"

"Oh God!" they both groaned.

"Can you imagine telling mom, Richard?" Billy asked his brother.  "She'd
start screaming and throwing things.  When she could say five words
together, she'd call the cops."  He turned to me and said: "You do that and
all three of us are dead meat."

"Hang on a minute," I told them.  "How would your dad take it?"

Richard went white and shuddered.  "He'd be one angry bastard.  I sure
wouldn't want to be there when he got told."

"Would he call in the cops?"

"Hell no!  After he accepted that we'd been pulled down into this shit,
he'd take after that preacher with a shotgun."

"That sounds like mom," I told them.  "She'd get that Robertson good but
she'd do it in a way so my name didn't get dragged through the dirt."

"I'll bet she'd get rid of Howard too because he went along with it and
delivered us right to that man."

I grinned.  "Yeah, she just might," I admitted and tried hard not to think
of the possibilities of that.  "She could talk with your dad too - you
know, make sure he sees that it's not your fault.  We don't get labeled
queers around town, and there's nobody holding shit over our heads."

Richard was silent and Billy and I waited for him to think it through.  My
goal had been to get out of any more dealings with the preacher in Atlanta,
to reclaim control of my life.  I had to admit that if this worked, it'd
free me of what I thought of as one of the sickest relations around - me
and Howard.  I liked the idea of gaining both goals with the same move.  I
started trying to figure how to work mom so she'd believe me and see me as
some sicko.

"Does your mom have that kind of balls, Vic?" Richard asked finally.  "Most
women just go to pieces.  Call she work her way through this and get us off
without anyone knowing?"

"She's head of nursing at the hospital - and the acting administrator.
She's good at keeping her head about her."

"We'd all have to talk to her," Billy said and I stared at him.

"Yeah," Richard seconded.  "Together, the three of us.  That way, we aren't
separated to find out if our stories stay the same."  He smiled.  "Okay,
guys, let's get our stories straight - for both camp and this past
weekend."  He glanced at Billy.  "We aren't going to be doing anything
sexual for a very long time," he told him.  "You don't either, Vic.  We've
got to stay squeeky clean with this shit.  You two are just going to have
to make yourselves think pussy instead of dick for us to make this work and
not have it blow up in our faces."  Billy was nodding his agreement; I did
too.

* * *

We met mom at the hospital the next day after school.  That was my idea -
catch her unprepared and tell her our tale of woe.  It'd worked in the 4th
grade when the class bully told me he was going to beat my butt into the
ground.  She had a talk with his father and I heard she'd reminded him that
he still had an unpaid bill at the hospital from when his last kid was
born.

We were skating on thin ice.  I hadn't slept most of the night realizing
that.  But anything else meant going along with the preacher or getting our
names smeared.  I was betting on my mom.

Mom took one look at the three of us boys, told her secretary not to
disturb her, and closed the door.  "What's up?" she asked looking directly
at me.

I gulped.  I'd forgotten just how direct mom could be.  If you were trying
to bullshit her, you had to be especially good - because she normally saw
through it quick.  "We've got a problem," I told her in a hushed tone.  The
Lee boys stayed behind me and kept their mouths shut.  I felt so alone.

"All of you?" she said, fixing her gaze on the Lees.  I think Richard was
the one who nodded.  "Did you boys do something at school?"

"No, mom," I mumbled.  "It was this retreat thing - and camp before it.  It
only involves the three of us, nobody else in Soul-"

She leaned against her desk, her gaze searching each one of us.  That was
something else I'd forgot yesterday - how she could see right into you.
She said: "Tell me."

All three of us started at once.  Billy and me shut up and Richard suddenly
found himself in the spotlight.  I looked down at my feet and didn't look
up.  "We - they ..."  He took a deep breath.  "Mrs. Howell, we got caught
up in something we know is wrong but don't know how to get out of it."  I
hid my smile; this kid was good.

I felt her gaze on me, making me lift my head up to face her.  Making my
vocal chords work even before our eyes met.  "There were these older boys
at camp, mom.  They helped up put up our tent.  They-"

"Was it sexual?"  The tone of her voice was flatter than I'd ever heard it.
Almost like it hadn't come from a human.  Like one of Isaac Asimov's robots
was speaking.  I nodded.  "And these same boys were involved again this
past weekend?"  I nodded again.  "How far did it go?"

"Everything," Richard answered quietly.

"Rev. Robertson made us do it in a movie," Billy squeaked.

I looked at mom then, just out of the corner of my eye.  Her face was red.
Her hands gripped the desk so hard they were bone white.  "Do your parents
know, Richard?" she asked, her voice still calm and far-away, and inhuman.

"Mom would go all to pieces.  Dad would get all mad and do something stupid
- probably to Billy and me-"

"I'll talk to your daddy, Richard and Billy.  He's the most reasonable man
on the board here at the hospital."  She seemed to force a smile to her
lips.  "Okay, boys, you're going to promise me that you won't ever do those
kinds of things again.  Vic's going to have our doctor check him out
thoroughly, and I imagine your daddy's going to want the same thing.  We'll
take care of this so nobody's going to ever know."  She pushed off the desk
and hugged the three of us.  "It took a lot of guts to do what you boys did
just now.  It was the right thing to do too.  Now, go on and play.  Be 12
year olds and try to forget what's happened, okay?"

I nodded, tears in my eyes.  I think Billy and Richard did too.  "We'll
talk tonight, Vic," mom told me as she ushered us out of her office.

It was like a great big ball of lead had been lifted off my chest.
Everything was going to be right with the world after all.  Richard and
Billy felt like me.  We laughed and whooped all the way into town.

* * *

Of course that wasn't the end of it, not even for the three of us.  Mom
didn't really talk to me when she came home.  She just hugged me and told
me things were going to be all right.

The next day, Howard moved out of the house.  He moved into the small house
the church maintained, and I never really saw him again.  He didn't bother
with Sunday school and I didn't go to church; he didn't try to talk to me,
either.

That afternoon after school, mom drove me to the doctor's.  I had to strip
with them both in the examining room.  I sprang a bone when he sent a
gloved finger up my butt and carefully felt the sides of my hole.  He said
something about me being distended down there but that it'd go back to
being normal.  He patted my butt then and told me everything looked normal.
I never so embarrassed in my life as I pulled my briefs up over my hard-on
in front of mom.

Two days after the three of us had talked to mom, we had a housekeeper
living with us.  She was an older lady I was prepared to dislike - until I
came home four days after talking to mom to find the best chocolate cake in
the world waiting for me.  I was in heaven with the first mouthful and
decided I liked Mrs. Yokum after all.

Billy and Richard were pretty well restricted to their house the rest of
the school year.  And guests were frowned on.  They told me that the day
after mom talked to their daddy.  They weren't happy about it but were more
surprised than anything at how their daddy had cried and hugged them.  They
didn't think their mother knew what had happened, just that it was
something bad.

There was a note in the church bulletin that Rev. Robertson had been called
on a mission to save souls deep in the jungles of Kenya in Africa and that
all the churches of Georgia were sorry to see him leave the youth ministry.

I saw Billy and Richard at school and at Sunday School but the sex we'd
shared was a thing of the past.  Most nights I beat off imagining us as we
had been.

I had friends at school as well as the boys in the neighborhood who still
played ball on the vacant lot near Julian's house.  I build a cocoon around
myself, however - around the sexual side of me.  I'd got myself into a
tight spot in the summer, and mom had got me out of it.

I was queer; I liked boys and what they had between their legs.  But I
wasn't about to put myself in the same position I'd been in during the
summer and autumn of my 13th year.  I couldn't do that to mom, and I sure
wasn't going to give anyone the kind of control over me that I'd given
Rev. Robertson through Bobby and Tom.  Maybe, when I was grown-up and
living in a big city, I could explore that side of myself again; but I was
willing, for the time being, to be a kid who didn't have everybody hating
him just because he was different.
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I hope you've enjoyed this installment of GROWING UP SEXUAL.  Vic's only
13, there's a lot more to come - and most of it will definitely have a
sexual aspect to it.  If you've enjoyed my writing so far, you'll love my
anthology of erotic stories.  I only have 3 stories in it, but I edited it.
That means the other 14 had to match my ideas of what makes a good story.
So, every one of them is hot and horny - and good.  You can order CASTING
COUCH CONFESSIONS through Nifty's link to Amazon - Nifty gets a little of
the money, so you're supporting Nifty when you order my book.