Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000 11:43:30 EST From: VicHowel@aol.com Subject: Growing Up Sexual - XL Growing Up Sexual My website is finally operational. Three long months! I may even make enough money from it to pay for all the charges I've incurred as well as the monthly ones to keep it going. http://www.macmillanbooks.com is now a working site. It has all of my novels and collections that you can order. I understand the gate company and credit card company want your 1st born, last born, and your mother's virginity; but maybe you'll be willing to cut me some slack and use it. I promise that there won't be any manual recounts or legal delaying manoeuvres to prevent you from ordering . On another note entirely - how many of you (of legal age, of course) would be interested in buying and reading a novel derived from this story? I know - why buy something you've already got for free, right? Well, it would be re-written. The characters and the setting would remain the same ... The story has written - piecemeal and plotless - is just too long at 150K to 175K words. But I can see putting in a definite plot, keeping the characters and setting, and holding the story down to 75K to 100K words. I'd also centre the story in the period from 1961 to 1963 - when most of the schools in GA were being desegregated. That would become an underlying story line to the novel itself. I would also raise the age of the boys to high school. The novel would remain erotic, of course - I can't imagine Vic and friends getting through high school w/o nookie. Let me know what you think, please. Write me at vichowel@aol.com. Enjoy. I hope you like the slam-bang ending that I'm leading the story into. Dave Chapter 40 "So, what do we do?" I asked Billy Lee. We sat across from each other on the bunks in the bedroom he and Richard shared. "Shit if I know-" He shook his head slowly as if he were trying to clear it. "Jesus! Little Cary and that fat brother of his!" "We've got to do something, Billy," I growled, feeling as useless as I'd ever felt. "They've got that film. We're on it." I shuddered. "What they're doing to Richard they can do to us. We're just as fucked as he is. We're dead meat." "Everybody in this damned town will know we're queer - if either of them talks. Ever." "That's what I just said, Billy. We're dead meat." "Why did it have to be somebody like Clem?" he groaned. "Why couldn't it be somebody with a nice body at least?" I looked over at him in disgust. "Is that all you ever think about?" I growled. "Your brother's being blackmailed to give them sex. We can be blackmailed any time they want some strange nooky. And you want it to be packaged pretty-" He studied me innocently. "Richard's stuck. We can be stuck. At least, until we can get out of Soul and go to college. Why shouldn't I wish for a nice body to go along with the dick?" "You're just going to give up?" I stood up and started to pace the room. "Just give up and wait until one or the other of them are ready to look at you?" "You have a better idea?" "Yeah. How about turning the tables on those two bastards so that we're holding some aces too." "You're talking about blackmailing them. What've we got, Vic? They've got that film." I don't know what we've got or what we can do to them - yet." I started for the door. I had to get away from Billy. I never had been very good at just wringing my hands and waiting for whoever or whatever to come get me. "But I'm going to find a way. To protect me as well as your sorry ass." I pulled the door open. "And to save Richard too." I walked towards town. Behind me, Billy Lee was bemoaning his fate and Richard was taking his at both ends. I didn't want to do either. I accepted that I was queer. That much was a given. I'd had 3 years to get used to accepting myself. But I was only going to have sex with a boy I wanted to do it with, not somebody who threatened to tell everybody in town about me. I didn't want the whole town knowing about me. Billy was queer too, just like me that way. Only, I'd just got the impression that he'd drop his jeans and bend over, no matter who told him to. And I guessed that Richard had been pulled out of his hidey hole as well. Nobody took what I'd seen him taking that afternoon for a month without accepting himself for what he was. But I couldn't imagine him wanting to bury his nose in a tub of lard like Clem's belly or have a little kid behind him like Cary. I was pretty sure they'd go along with me - as long as what we did didn't expose them. The problem I had was that I didn't have even one idea of what to do about the Stokes brothers. My brain kept jumping around like a frog hooked up to a battery. What did I do? What was safe? I could talk to Henry and Jimmy Weeks. They were always on top of everything. They knew how to keep things quiet. Only, when it all got boiled down, they knew how to make themselves feel good. They had big dicks and knew how to use them. They got their partner off, but the main thing for them was getting themselves off. Before I even reached the edge of town, I figured that I knew why they'd become such a part of Auntie Clyde's group. It kept them with enough mouths and buttholes to keep them satisfied. It wasn't a strain to see that they wouldn't know better than me how to handle the Stokes boys. I could go to Broughton and Lindy Bennett. At least, they were like me and the Lee brothers. There was more there than just getting themselves off. But, like the Weekses, they were going to be at as much of a loss as I was in trying to figure out what to do with Clem and Cary. And I didn't want to put them at risk at being found out. By the time I'd reached the movie theatre, I'd realized I needed some ideas. Nothing fancy; just some ideas of how to keep the rattlesnakes the Stokeses were out of where I slept. I needed grown-up advice. I hoofed it through town and started out along the highway towards the hospital. I wasn't all that happy about going to see mom about this. There weren't many boys around who'd want their mothers to know the specifics of what they did in bed and how it happened. And I wasn't one of the few who got off on having dear old mom live her sex life through mine. Still, mom knew about the film. She knew that that both the Lees and I were in it, getting our butts filled that weekend. She'd done a smack up good job of getting Richard, Billy, and me off the hook when she did find out about that film. She knew that I was homosexual as well. Most important, she'd never make me feel like I was any less loved once she did know about me. "Hi, mom," I said as I stuck my head in her office. She looked up and smiled. I thought she looked tired. "I don't see you around the hospital usually. What's up?" "We need to talk-" I looked at the hall behind me. "Privately." She was immediately alert. "Come on in and shut the door behind you, Vic." I moved into her office and took a seat as she sat expectantly behind her desk. "You remember that film a few years ago?" I asked without preamble. "The one that was made that Thanksgiving?" She continued to watch me, her face telling me nothing. I started to wonder if this had been the best idea that I'd ever had. The silence grew. "Somebody in town has a copy of that?" she asked finally. I nodded. "Who?" she asked softly, her voice hard steel covered with soft velvet. "The Stokes boys - Clem and Cary." "Have they approached you?" "Just Richard so far, mom. Billy and I followed them over to their house. They were having sex with Richard." "Christ!" she hissed. "They were showing it while they were going to town on Richard-" "God!" She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know how to handle this, mom. They can come after me or Billy at any time. We'd have to do whatever they asked to keep it quiet here in Soul." She thought for a while longer, the silence in the room growing louder with every second. Finally, she sat back up and stood up. "We're going for a ride, Vic. Come on." "Where are we going?" I asked as she picked up her keys and purse. "Clyde Lee's." "Clyde?" "He knows about you, Vic. He knows this town. He knows his brother - Richard's and Billy's father. And he's homosexual like you. He's even helped me out a lot since I figured you out." She forced a smile and came over to where I was standing. "Like you, I need some advice here." She hugged me to her. It felt good. I hugged her back. For the moment, I even felt safe. * * * "Wondrous times, dad?" Joe Phillips asked suspiciously. Dr. Phillips was like a puppy ready to start jumping up and down, he looked so happy. Joe's heart sank. "That was little Charlie Howe's daddy who was here-" Joe watched his father, waiting for that wondrous stuff to start falling on him. He wondered if it'd smell like any other shit. He didn't dare say anything. "The county's going to integrate the high school starting next year, Joe-" Joe continued to wait in silence. He didn't see where this was heading. "But Mr. Howe and some of the other leaders in the Negro community realize that most of their kids aren't up to snuff with the white kids. They don't want those kids flunking out or getting discouraged." Joe still waited. He was starting to relax, though. Maybe there wasn't going to be another shoe that was going to drop. Integration at the school didn't sound like it had anything to do with First Baptist - not directly anyway. "Mr. Howe came over this afternoon to ask me about setting up a tutorial program for their children." "Tutorial-?" Joe wasn't sure what he was hearing. Dr. Phillips sat down across from Joe, his face beaming. "You and other boys and girls from the county high school have a chance to practice your Christianity, Joe." He jumped back up and began to pace the kitchen. "Isn't that wonderful? It'll be just like being one of the early Christians - it'll be an example of your faith in Christ Jesus, Joe! Your submission to His plan for the brotherhood of man." Joe couldn't see it. He could see himself sitting across from some colored kid trying to explain algebra all right. But he didn't see how that would be like being thrown in with all those lions in the Roman coliseum. "Mr. Howe and several of their preachers want to set up a tutorial program for their children, Joe. We'll need some of your smartest friends to help you out-" "Me?" Joe yelped, staring at his father. "I'm going to be doing this?" Dr. Phillips quickly crossed the room and stopped beside him. "We're each called to do God's will according to our abilities, Joe," the man told him. "First Baptist will have to lead this effort. Our hands are going to have to be the first ones to reach out to these people. And you're my son. Of course, you're going to have to lead our white youth to realize that it's our duty to help those we've held down for so long." "I haven't held anybody down!" "But white society has, and you're part of that, Joe. All the way through slavery and this Jim Crow stuff - hundreds of years. We've got to put that past behind us. Whites have to grow up and know their Savior. And Coloreds have to understand that white people are good people. The time has come for us to all be brothers and sisters." Speechless, Joe stared at his father, his mind blank. All that he could feel in himself was a gnawing fear that he couldn't see and didn't know. "When do these tutorials start?" he finally asked. Dr. Phillips smiled back at him. "Just as soon as you can line up your friends from school and church." * * * "There's sin in this school!" Ronnie Varnadore shouted down the row of lockers at the rest of the team. 29 boys, naked or getting there, looked up. They'd just run 100 yard sprints and they were tired. "There's sin everywhere, Ronnie," one boy called back and pulled off his briefs. He reached into his locker and grabbed his towel. "It's what makes the world go around." He started off for the showers. "There's abomination," Ronnie called at him, watching his naked backside. He felt his dick twitch and knew that Christ Jesus wouldn't like that. He was saved. He'd been pulled back from abomination and made whole. He looked back at his locker. Ronnie Varnadore wasn't about to backslide. He'd given himself to Jesus. He didn't want a place in hell saved for him. "What kind of abomination?" somebody else called, his voice bored. "There are queers in our school. Queers wanting your dicks. Wanting to suck them and take them in their butts. Abominations!" "Where?" One boy called out and grabbed his crotch. Another looked around himself. "Who?" he asked. "I've got some meat that's real tender-" "That's abomination!" Ronnie cried. "You send yourself straight to hell thinking like that!" "What a way to go!" the other boy called out and grabbed his towel. "You've got me all hard just thinking about it." "Yeah," another boy said. "Ever since that Julian Head stopped bending over, I've had a real problem right here-" He grabbed himself through his underwear. "I need somebody to take his place." He humped his hips forward and several of his friends laughed. Ronnie looked from boy to the next down the row of lockers. Why couldn't they understand? They had the chance to let Jesus into their lives and knowing the glory of God. But each one of them thought it was a joke. He felt a hand grasp his shoulder and turned. One of the Weeks twins was standing there, his brother right beside him. Ronnie still couldn't tell them apart, even though they'd fucked him all winter long. He'd glanced down to see if the twins were naked before he realized he'd done so. The twin in front of him grinned. "Thought so," he said softly. "It's a sin," Ronnie answered and forced his gaze back up to meet the twin's. "God didn't make Adam and Steve; he made Adam and Eve." "Ronnie, you need to shut up about this shit - around these guys especially," the other twin said, his voice low so it wouldn't carry. "I won't shut up. Jesus wants us to save the sinners. We've got to stop them before they get so deep into sin that they can't find their way back." "What're you going to do?" the one holding his shoulder asked. "You going to brand the boys who gave themselves to you?" "If it'll save just one soul - yeah, I'd do that." "You want to tell everybody where you're coming from first?" the other twin asked. "You should - that way everybody knows exactly where everybody stands." "What're you saying?" The twin holding him leaned closer. "You start naming names and everybody in this school will know about you, Ronnie." "You wouldn't. Besides, who'd believe you? You'd already be labeled as the sinners you are." "How about your name and phone number in every toilet in town - even the colored ones?" the other twin asked conversationally. "You know - Call me, I want a hard dick up my butt, signed Ronnie Varnadore. How long would you last in this town then, Ronnie?" "You wouldn't!" He stared at both boys in disbelief. "Don't find out," the one holding him hissed. "There are some good kids out there who trusted you when you were diddling them. Don't fuck them over, okay?" Ronnie pulled his shoulder away from the hand. "You're as bad as those others are. Both of you," he said. "You're abominations too." "Just don't forget how much you liked us pounding your butt for you, Ronnie. Don't forget that those boys trusted you either, just like you trusted us."