Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2000 09:25:04 EDT
From: VicHowel@aol.com
Subject: GROWING UP SEXUAL - chapter XXVIII

GROWING UP SEXUAL - Chapter XXVIII - by Dave MacMillan

'Lo all,

Before we continue on with another episode in the Soul sagas, let me
explore an idea with you, one that won't let go of me.

Firstly, I've been used to writing for pay over the past 10 years.
Unfortunately, Nifty and the other story boards on the net don't pay.
While I started Growing Up Sexual as a thank you to Nifty for providing a
link to Amazon for my first anthology Casting Couch Confessions, it's taken
on a life of its own now.  Our friendly Archivist was willing to permit me
to "plug" that book with each new installment of Growing Up Sexual.  As I
added 4 other novels, our Archivist continued to be friendly and allowed me
to advertise (not as blatantly, of course) both my anthologies and,
finally, the weight loss programme I'm following (45 lbs in a month and a
half!!!).  In addition, as these other 4 novels are already completed, they
don't require me to do more than convert a chapter a month into a .txt
file.  Still, I'm not getting paid for my intellectual labour and that
leaves me with a sense that there's something wrong in this set-up.

Then, there's the fact that gay erotica is not being published much any
more.  Small publishers have money problems, and there are only 3 large gay
publishers in the English-language - Alyson in the US which only accepts
erotica from its own editors, Idol in the UK which only accepts mushy
Harlequin-type romances with strong British characterisation (and my
anthology due out in January), and Prowler in the UK that has the
reputation of not paying its American writers.  There's just not an
identifiable, reputable print market for gay erotica in novel length any
more.

With that as a background to my thinking, imagine my envy when I read that
Stephen King is going to put his next "short novel" (read novella - about
13,000 words) on the net and charge his fans $1.00 to download it.  Add to
that the fact that more than 400,000 people downloaded his last "short
novel".  Do you hear the wheels turning?

Now, I'm egotistic, but I'm not daft.  I know I'm not Stephen King; I'd
count myself lucky if 500 readers wanted to read me enough to pay to do so.
But this idea of "self-publishing" on the net does catch my attention.  At
this point, it's not so much a matter of money but of growing curiosity.

So, here's the question.  Would you pay to read the entirety of Learning To
Fly (college folder) or Gut Feelings (beginnings folder) at your leisure -
rather than wait another 12-14 months to have the final chapter posted?  I
would charge enough that Nifty would also receive about 40% of the total -
that's fair as they're probably the best story archive on the net.

At this point, I'm just asking - I need your in-put to help me make a
decision.  I'll ask anyone under 18 NOT to answer this question because
there is no way I'm going to sell to you (I DO NOT want to see the insides
of a jail cell, and peddling pornographic matter to a minor is a criminal
offense in the USA where I live.  I hope you're not sick enough to want to
do that to one of Nifty's writers).

Please let me know your thoughts on this.  I really need as many of you as
possible to give me your thinking.  Write me at vichowel@aol.com
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I hadn't seen or heard from Ronnie Varnadore in three days - not since
Richard Lee's Thanksgiving party where most of the boys I knew got their
first fuck off of Glenda Faye Woods.  And I had renewed my acquaintance
with Billy Lee's butt and Broughton Bennett's dick.

I was slightly pissed off that I had to walk to and from school both Monday
and Tuesday.  But, other than experiencing the inconvenience of being 14
and car-less again for the first time in two months, I didn't feel
anything.  No mushy sense of loss, no tears, no hurt.  Nothing.

Well - there was something ... I was going without again, and, if I were
honest, I did miss it - already.

Ronnie Varnadore and I had had nothing in common that bound us together -
except for our sex.  I realized that finally - as I walked home from school
that Monday.  Ronnie was football, football practice, and his car.  His
grades were already average and, from a couple of things he'd said, they
were given to him because he was a football star.  I guess going to work
for his daddy came into play somewhere in there too.

I figured that I was nothing more than a sexual release to him - like that
Glenda Faye Woods had been at Richard's party.  Her taking him in her pussy
had broken any spell that I might have had over him.

I smiled as I turned onto Main Street and walked the two blocks down to
Church.  Billy and Broughton had managed to break any spell that Ronnie had
had over me.  I guessed we were even on that score.  Billy had even
reminded me that it felt really good to give instead of always receiving.
Only, Ronnie still had a car and I had to walk.

I was wondering if Broughton and Lindy might want a regular third now that
they'd had a chance to get used to each other when I decided to turn into
Madge's Grill, an old trolley car type eatery right next to the movie
house.  I took a stool close to the door and Madge, turned sideways, came
up behind the counter to take my order.  Madge was friendly, of an
indeterminant age, and 5 X 5 X 5.  She could be your older sister or your
mom, if any woman had ever been born so plain.  And she had the best
homemade cakes and pies in Soul. She stayed busy - grown-ups from the shops
in town during the day, kids on the way home from school in the afternoon,
and movie-goers in the evening. Her diner and the movie house were the only
two places in town that were air conditioned too.  I ordered a piece of
chocolate cake to go with my coke.

As the first bite of Madge's homemade chocolate cake melted in my mouth and
woke my taste buds from the coma that the high school cafeteria put them
in, the door opened behind me.  I didn't look up but felt somebody sit on
the stool next to me.

"Hi, Glenda Faye," Madge called out from the cash register.  "Already tired
of popcorn and candy bars?"

Glenda Faye Woods laughed, sort of deep in her throat.  "Zeros and Mars
bars don't hold a candle to what you dish out.  Give me a piece of
chocolate cake like this one Vic's eating - and a cup of coffee."

I continued to nibble at my cake and let it work my taste buds to a fever
pitch while the two women chatted.  Madge served Glenda Faye and looked
from her to me and back.  "If you two are set for now, I've got a sink-ful
of dishes calling me-"

Glenda Faye gave that throaty laugh again and told her to go on.  I
realized suddenly that the two of us were alone in the front of the diner.

"Why didn't you go for a piece of me Friday night, Vic?  I thought that
everybody knew it was a gang-bang going in."

I turned to face her and found her studying me over the rim of her coffee
mug.  "I guess I just didn't feel like it."  I was definitely
uncomfortable.  The bite of chocolate cake was forgotten in my mouth.

"I thought that was why all you boys went to the party."

"I thought you knew Soul," I answered, managing a grin.  "There's never
anything to do here - so, even a gang-bang sounds interesting."

She chuckled and nodded.  "That's why I went - even knowing I was to be the
bangee."  She studied me in silence as she sipped coffee.  "Ronnie saw you
go outside with Broughton-"

My eyes felt like they were bulging, but I didn't say anything.  I guess
that's why he told me you were a faggot."

They did bulge then.  And my throat felt drier than the Sahara Desert.  "He
told you that?" I croaked and found that I still hadn't swallowed the cake
in my mouth.  The muscles worked to get the stuff down and I swallowed two
or three times before I decided to try Coke to get it down.

She nodded.  "He took me home that night.  I asked why you were the only
one who didn't line up to fuck me."  She looked away.  "I may have caused
you trouble - I asked him where you and the other boys had gone."  She
looked at me.  "I've embarrassed you, Vic.  I'm sorry."

"I-"

"It's okay to be homosexual."  She grinned.  "I can certainly see why a
person would be attracted to boys.  They've got the nicest bodies-"

"You're saying it's okay to be queer?" I squeaked, my face flaming.  Madge
was still in the back washing her lunch dishes.

"Damned right.  I won't even tell you to stay away from my boyfriend, cause
I'm not going to have one - not in this town.  Far as I'm concerned, we can
share every dick in Soul."  She gave that throaty laugh again.  "We can
even get into a three-way with some of those boys from Clyde Lee's - that
is if you want to."

"Ronnie-?" I gurgled, unsure if I could still breathe.

"I figure you two have broke up.  I don't see what you ever saw in him."
She grinned.  "He does have a big dick, but there are at least half a dozen
boys in this town with bigger ones.  And I don't really know if he's any
good with it.  There were a lot of boys that night."

I drank some Coke, deciding that discretion was definitely the better part
of valor.

"Anyway, if some boy was porking me regular and, then, decided to let it
drop into a conversation with somebody else, that would be all he wrote as
far as I'm concerned."  She brought up another fork-ful of cake and chewed.
"Anyway, I thought you boys who go out to Clyde's are pretty closed-mouth
about what you do with each other."

She finished her cake and coffee, put a dollar and a dime down by the empty
mug, and got off her stool.  "Got to go to work, Vic.  Stop in some time
when it's not busy and we'll talk."

I watched her leave the diner, my chin lying on the floor beneath me.  I'd
just been out-ed to the town slut and she didn't think a thing about it.
Her shoulders were pulled back, and she held her head high.  She didn't act
like my idea of a slut.  Hell!  She was even sort of pretty.  I tried to
imagine a three-way with her and who would go where.

"You want another piece of cake, Vic?" Madge asked, pulling me back from my
thoughts about Glenda Faye Woods and how a three-way with her would work.

* * *

I walked down Church Street towards home and homework and the normality of
a comfortably upper class home life that wasn't going to include any sex.
My thoughts moved from trying to imagine what Glenda Faye and two boys
could do together at the same time to making sure I wasn't going to go
sexless tomorrow.

I was sitting at my desk and making up an imaginary conversation that my
Spanish teacher wanted turned in the next day when Mrs. Yokum called me to
the phone.

"Vic?" the voice at the other end of the line asked.  "This is Joe
Phillips," he continued after I acknowledged my name.

I thought of Joe as a friend.  At least, he was one of us and - most often
- was a part of whatever the rest of our group did.  But everybody also
knew he was something of a manipulator.  He made sure he came out of
whatever any of us did as a group smelling like roses - no matter what any
of the rest of us smelt like.  I only had to remember what had been
happening to Lindy Bennett to have a picture of Joe Phillips.  That stayed
in the back of my mind as we chit chatted for a few minutes.

"I noticed that you walked home today," he said from out of the blue.

Alarm bells started going off in my brain.  "Yeah-?"

I heard him take a deep breath.  "I was wondering if you'd maybe walk home
with me tomorrow . . . You know, stop over and us maybe do something before
you had to go home?"

Those alarm bells started clanging real loud in my brain.  Only, I couldn't
see where the danger was.  I wasn't even sure Joe's invitation had anything
to do with Ronnie's and my splitting up.  "What did you have in mind?" I
asked, buying time.

"I don't know.  I want us to talk - you know, to get to know each other
better.  Here we are, friends and all - and I hardly know you, Vic."

I sensed the trap.  I even sensed where it lay.  But I also knew that I
couldn't just turn Joe down.  We weren't especially close, but we were
still friends.  We were going to get together as he'd asked; there was no
trap inherent in that.  If there was one, it lay behind our getting
together.  I knew that I wasn't going to do anything that Joe Phillips
hadn't already done first.  "Meet me at my locker after 6th period," I told
him.

"Hey, Vic?"

"Yeah?"

"Ride your bike to school tomorrow."

"Okay."

"See you then."

I couldn't put Joe Phillips out of my mind the rest of the day.  With his
curly black hair and freckled face, he looked like an imp.  His big brown
eyes seemed to see right through to you.  He also had a body.  What a body!
He had a nice butt.  And his dick - it had to be bigger than mine.

Then there was the way he had Lindy Bennett bending over double anywhere
and everywhere, back before Auntie Clyde put an end to that and put Lindy
with his older brother at the same time.

What was Joe planning?

I beat off that night imagining the boy between my legs.  I could almost
feel his dick sliding in and out of my butt.

I usually didn't ride my bike to school and I was extra careful locking it
up at the rack before I went inside.  I had a 10-speed French racer Mum had
bought me the year before from a bike shop in Atlanta.  Most of the kids in
Soul had plain Jane Western Flyers from Western Auto or the cheaper stuff
that Sears sold from their catalogue.  I didn't want to lose my baby.  It
was easier to walk than to go 6 to 7 hours leaving it unguarded.

Joe was standing at my locker when I got there after 6th period, waiting
for me.  His freckles were spread across his face in an impish grin.  "Hi,"
he greeted me as I came up to him.  "Ready?"

I studied him for a couple of seconds, trying to read him.  He hadn't
exactly avoided me through the school day just past us, but we'd maybe
shared ten words the whole time.  I'd begun to think his call had been some
kind of set-up - or maybe a dream - and had resigned myself to riding my
bike home by myself.  "Ready for what?" I asked as I worked the combination
on my lock.

His face turned serious then.  "A serious talk - maybe more, depending on
how the talk goes."  He looked at the books in my hands.  "Get rid of those
things, Vic and let's boogey."

I rode beside Joe Phillips as we crossed the highway and started towards
First Baptist and the parsonage.  "Your folks at home?" I asked after we
were away from the high school.

"Dad's on the second week of preaching a revival," Joe called back.  "Mom's
cooking over at the church with a bunch of the old biddies from church -
the old people's group is having dinner there tonight."  He grinned over at
me.  "We're gonna have the house all to ourselves this afternoon."

I got a funny feeling in my stomach at that.  And a familiar itch began to
flare deep in my butt.  I didn't know which one to pay attention to as I
stayed up with Joe as we made it across town to his house.

We propped our bikes against the back of the parsonage and I followed him
into the kitchen.  "We've got tea and Dr. Pepper," he told me as he crossed
to the refrigerator, "which do you want?"

"Dr. Pepper."

He handed me a bottle and started for the living room.  I followed as he
took the stairs two at a time.  "This is your first time over here, isn't
it?" he asked as I reached the landing.  I nodded.  "I've got the end
room."  He nodded towards the side of the house.  "The parents are on the
other end."  He grinned.  "It makes for a lot of privacy."  He started down
the hall to his room.  The feeling in my gut flared, almost blocking out
the itch in my butt.

I was ready to bolt for the bathroom back down the hall when he opened the
door to his bedroom and ushered me in.  "Have a seat," he offered, pointing
his bottle of Dr. Pepper at the bed.

I was halfway across the room when I heard him lock the door.  "I saw
Ronnie Varnadore Sunday," he said.

I stopped.  It was like I'd hit an invisible barrier there in the middle of
his bedroom.  My stomach felt like it was about to throw everything I'd
ever eaten back up.  My feet were rooted to the floor.

Damn!!!!  I KNEW this had to be a set-up.

"Oh?" I asked, not turning around but managing to sound cool to my ears.

"Yeah.  He was at church Sunday night.  We talked for a while afterwards-"
I glanced back at Joe over my shoulder when the silence finally got to be
too much.

He grinned.  "He said you two had been seeing each other ever since
Broughton and Lindy decided to do each other."  I felt the blood drain from
my face.  My knees wobbled and my legs started to feel rubbery.  "Only, he
wasn't going to see you anymore because you couldn't keep your pants up."

"He didn't-" I whispered and grabbed the foot of the bed to hold myself up.
My butt dropped down to the mattress.  I could see it now - Joe dicking me
in the boy's room at school.  Joe dicking me at poolside at Clyde's.
Everybody in Soul was going to know about me.  I was about to become
another Julian Head.

Joe must have realized what was going through my head.  He crossed the room
and I saw concern in his face.  "Vic, I learnt my lesson with Lindy.  I was
messing with his head big-time - and I paid for it too."

I sat there staring at him, his image beginning to blur.  "I won't do that
with you, Vic.  I promise."

"Do you want a blowjob or do you want to butt fuck me too?" I asked, my
voice sounding lifeless in my ears.  I wasn't hearing Joe Phillips, I was
fighting against the fear washing over me.

I told myself that it wasn't like I was some virgin facing his first dick.
Over the past two years, I'd had ten dicks in me.  I'd got off on each one
of them.  I knew what one could do for me.

I remembered that Joe had looked to have a nice one when I'd seen him naked
out at Clyde's.  And he was one of Clyde's set, like I was.  He knew the
ropes and at least could guess that I'd sucked dick before, even without
Ronnie telling him that I'd let him between my legs regularly.  We could
have sex and nobody was going to know.  I didn't have to let him get me
into the more public stuff as he had Lindy.

Only, Ronnie was telling people about me - first Glenda Faye and now Joe.
I didn't know Joe like I knew most of the other boys I'd done anything
with.  And Joe liked to play with a boy's head.

"Sometime today I think we ought to bike out to Clyde's," Joe was saying.

I caught that and focused on him.  "Why?" I asked.

He chuckled.  "Clyde doesn't like his boys spreading tales about his other
boys.  I can also tell you that he doesn't like them putting others in
danger of being found out either."

"You're talking about what Ronnie told you?"  He nodded.  "Maybe we ought
to just forget it?"

"No fucking way.  I had my nose rubbed in it when Clyde found out about
Lindy and me - and Ronnie was part of the learning experience that Clyde
set up.  He knows better than to go around telling about anybody.  Clyde's
got to know.  Ronnie has to learn - just like I did."

I woke up then.  I was fully conscious for the first time since Joe brought
Ronnie Varnadore into the conversation.  I could even feel the air on my
earlobes I was so conscious.  I could sense there was something Joe was
saying, even while he wasn't.  "What did they do to you?" I asked.

"I was porking Lindy in the bathroom out at Clyde's when he walked in.
Clyde and Ronnie.  Soon, it was the three of them, Broughton, and me up in
Clyde's bedroom.  I sucked dick and had each one of them fuck me in the
ass."

I stared at him.  "They didn't!"

"Oh, but they did.  Good too.  I was so full of their jizz, that I made
little wet sounds every time I took a step the next two days."

"I wondered why you didn't go out there any more."

"You remember Angus MacGregor from last week?"

"The Australian who visited you here?"

"Yeah, he visited all right.  His dick stayed in my butt most of the time
he was here."

"Ewww!"

Joe looked down at his hands.  "It was where I wanted it to be."

"Are you saying-?"  I was looking at Joe Phillips with an entirely new
perception.

"I'm saying that I like dick, Vic.  Same as you apparently.  It was sort of
easy to let Ronnie talk me into shucking my trousers Sunday night-"

I stared at him.  "You didn't!"

He grinned.  "I did.  You've trained him good.  I shot all over my dress
shirt.  Now, he just needs to learn how to take it to be perfect."  He
studied me for a couple of minutes.  "Do you like to do the fucking or is
it just lie there and let the other guy do all the work with you?"

"Both," I answered carefully, unwilling to believe where this conversation
seemed to be going.

"Well, if I've got to like dick, I might as well have it when I want it.
Only, I don't want to become everybody's regular pincushion.  I want one
regular partner who likes both ends of the stick, just like I do.  You
think you'd mind fucking my butt for me?"

"And you doing mine?"  He grinned and grabbed his crotch.  I grinned back -
happy at being home safe with one of the cutest boys in Soul.  "Maybe we
ought to get naked?" I suggested as I pulled my tee-shirt out of my jeans
and stood up to face him.

Joe toed off his sneakers while he unbuttoned his jeans.  He didn't bother
with the zipper; he just shoved them and his briefs over his butt and bent
over to get them down his legs.  When he stood back up, he was hard, his
skin pulled back to expose a knob that looked just about as big as
Broughton's.  His dick was longer and thicker than Ronnie's.

I paused, studying what I was getting; and he pulled his shirt over his
head.  I still had my boxers on.  The itch up my butt flamed hot.

He grinned.  "You're slow, Vic.  I guess that means I get to go first."  I
didn't argue as I pulled down my pants and stepped out of them.

"That's nice," Joe mumbled and took a step closer.  His hand went around my
pole and made a fist.  "Real nice.  It looks real yummy."

"You can have it anytime," I offered and took his in my hand.  Stroking
him, I pulled his foreskin up over his knob before pushing it back onto the
shaft.  "Yours isn't bad."

"Just wait until you feel it in you, Vic Howell.  You'll be singing alto."

I grinned and pushed him away - but still held onto his meat so that he
didn't get too far away.  "Better get some Vaseline if you plan on getting
near me with that thing."

"In the bedside cabinet.  Now, get down on the bed."  I sat down and he sat
beside me.  I was still holding his dick.  I leant over and took its head
in my mouth and ran my tongue around it.  He groaned and lay back,
spreading his legs to give me easier access.

I took him all the way down to the pubes, my fingers cupping his balls.  I
wanted this.  All suspicion of Joe Phillips was gone.  My fingertips moved
slowly up along his flanks, relishing the touch of his smooth tight body,
until they were at his nipples.

He moaned softly as I began to tweak them.  I bobbed up and down on his fat
9 incher.  The itch flared hotter and brighter inside me.  The only thought
in my head was that I wanted to feel his thing sliding into my butt.  I
pulled off of him and looked up at him watching me.  "Get the Vaseline," I
growled.

"Eww, a hungry boy!" he chuckled as he twisted his body around so that he
could reach the cabinet beside his bed.  I raised one leg and placed it
outside his and then did the same with my other leg, pulling his together
under me.  I was straddling him as he handed me the jar of grease.

I tore the lid off the jar and scooped up a glob with my finger.  I stood
up on my knees and reached behind me.  Spreading my buttcheeks with one
hand, I lathered up the rim of my hole with the Vaseline with the other.

"How're we going to do this?" he asked as he watched me prepare myself.

"I'm going to sit down on it and ride you."

"Sounds like a plan to me."  He reached up and touched my chest, his
fingers spreading.  "I've wanted you since I met you the first time, Vic -
right after we moved to Soul," he said softly.  "I just didn't understand
what it was that I was feeling then.  I just told myself that I wanted to
fuck that bubble butt of yours."

I slid up to where my hips were straddling his waist, my knees in his
armpits and my dick riding the center of his chest.  He smiled up at me and
reached behind my fanny to hold his pole so I would be able to impale
myself on it.

I raised up on my knees and inched back down his body until I felt just the
tip of his dick touching my cheeks.  I grinned down at him and wiggled my
butt.  He guided his pole into my crack and moved it down to my pole.

Resting there in the well that bordered my back entrance, his knob felt
wider than I'd thought it was, wider even than Broughton's.  For the
briefest moment, I wondered if this was the smartest thing I'd ever done.

Joe raised his hips off the bed, pushing the tip of his meat just inside my
hole and my itch flared high.  Any doubts I'd had were gone.  I began to
lower myself down on him.

I was taking it slow.  Instinct dictated that I didn't rush this.  His dick
began to enter me.  His eyes held mine as his knob slipped into my chute.

He's so cute, I kept telling myself as more and more of him pushed into me.
I gasped as the head of his dick rubbed over my prostate and continued to
enter me.  I sighed when I felt his pubes tickling the backside of my
ballsac.

I hadn't lost my erection as I sat on his pole.  The head of my dick rested
on the rim of his bellybutton, oozing pre-come as I adjusted to his monster
being inside me.  I smiled down at him.

"Come down here and kiss me, Vic," he whispered.  "I've never kissed
another boy, not even Lindy.  But I want to with you."

I bent over him and he raised his head until our lips touched.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I didn't end this chapter with a cliffhanger; I just figured each of you
could imagine Vic's and Joe's bout of sex without my help at this
point. <G>

With July just around the corner, I'll break the news here.  Three of my
anthologies are being released this month - SKIN FLICKS II, RENTBOYS, and
FRESH MEN CLUB.  They're all from Companion Press and will make great
reading while you're baking at the beach.  Amazon and Barnes & Noble both
should have them by mid-July.  The American Amazon is discounting them.

That said, you Brits and Aussies don't need to order from the US Amazon.
For some strange reason, the Yanks got huffy about Nifty and pulled their
links - so, ordering from the American company doesn't help out your
favourite archive like it used to do.

It doesn't matter where you get these three books, just get them.  And stay
hard this summer - wanking helps to keep your body functioning healthily.

As always, please let me know what you think of Growing Up Sexual and my
other stories.  Feed back helps any writer write better.  I'm at
vichowel@aol.com.