Date: Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:46:10 EDT From: Andichan@aol.com Subject: I just couldn't All the usual disclaimers apply however this story does not include any inappropriate sexual activity whatsoever. I hope that those who read will enjoy and any feedback, good, bad or otherwise will be responded to. andichan@aol.com 'I JUST COULDN'T' Two failed marriages. Thirty four years old. Successful business. No financial problems. Free and single again! Sounds like paradise doesn't it. I've four kids from my ex wives and I missed them desperately. Sure, I saw them and they do still love me but paradise it was not. I was desperately lonely. I made the decision to relocate my business away from the centre of Walsall, a shit place at the best of times, to the rural pastures of Herefordshire. Buying an industrial unit and with the 'thumbs up' from the twelve guys and two girls who worked for me, we basically started from scratch again, the main motivation was to go back to my roots and live a country existence again and try and get some order back into my life. I'm from farm stock and whilst life was ok for me in the sprawl of the west midlands of England when everything was ok, it was hell on earth when things went tits up. I needed space!! It was perfect! All of us, myself and my workforce just loved it! Looking out over the Malvern hills, the peaceful tranquillity of the country side acted like a tonic we all, especially me, needed. I bought a cottage in a nearby village. Nothing grand but quaint and rather rustic. (That means it needed work!) It also came with some two and a half acres of land and some out buildings, these big enough to store and maintain my rather large collection of old farm tractors and stuff, most of which I'd kept from my parent's farm when they retired. The village itself comprised sixteen houses and a pub. A nice pub and one that I ended up using probably more than I should have. Not that I was a drunk you understand but it was a social point of contact for me and probably my only way to get to know folk. ----------------- About me. My name is Graham George. I have history, which has blighted my life, all my life. When I was about seven years old, the foreman of my parent's farm took a bit of a shine to me. Well, rather more than a shine, actually! It started off innocently enough but graduated into the touchy feely stuff which I must say I enjoyed, rather surprised that an adult would take so much 'interest' in a boy of my age. He introduced me to his son. Adam was six years old and was from the day we met, my best friend ever! At that age, a difference of just one year is such a huge gap but Adam and I were mates from that first day. Looking back now, his father pushed us together, arranging sleep-overs, for the most times having to share the same double bed, never minding about the noise we made whilst playing. Inevitably Adam and I got to the 'sexy' bit. Show me yours etc. That progressed fairly quickly to a rather more elevated sexual level like mutual wanking, sucking and finally I fucked him. Looking back now it's clear that his father was using me to 'groom' him for his own use but how little do you know when you're so young. It just feels nice, doesn't it? It took its toll on me however. My life was changed and always bi-sexual, my fantasies were always about young boys and I hated myself for it. I even considered seeking counselling but concluded that I couldn't tell the truth. I was very afraid of my feelings and in any case who in hell do you turn to? Your doctor? "Hey doc. I'm a sicko who fancies young boys. Can you refer me please?" I don't think so. Instead I elected to bottle it all up and what ever the consequences of that might be. Probably the wrong choice because one fateful day, I was confronted with the chance to live out my long held fantasies. Samuri Yanuk. A young Japanese lad lived in the same village. His dad worked in Worcester for Yamazaki - Mazak as a senior manager and was in the UK for a five year 'tour of duty'. Sam was the 'number one son' and as such, had somewhat more freedom than his younger brothers and sisters. He was also drop - dead fucking beautiful! He came in at about 5' 00" tall. Not bad for a Japanese kid of ten years old. Proportionately built, the normal jet black eyes, slightly turned up at the edges of his face, jet black hair regular style cut. A ready smile and a passable command of English. Even better, he loved my collection of vintage tractors and would come around and help service / rebuild them every chance he had. To say I fancied him was an understatement. I believe I actually loved him. I couldn't find one single flaw in him. From his head to his little toes, he was fantastic! We really got on so well and I was starting to wonder if I should piss him off big time so he wouldn't come back, or maybe sell up and move again. That was the strength of my feelings for him. Coward that I am, I did neither. It was a Wednesday afternoon. October 21st. Cold but not too cold but the evenings were drawing in and didn't it get chilly when the sun went down!! Half term holiday for the kids and as normal, Sam came around, having heard the sound of the old 'Field Marshall' fire up. "Hey Gray! We drive Marshall today?" "Oh I don't think so mate. We've got to do a good service on it before that. I was just warming her up so the oil change will be easier. Then maybe. Ok?" "Arrr, ok! I don't mind! Can I drive something else?" "The E27N Fordson is ok. Keys are in it but please take care. Ok?" "Mondei-ni! Sorry Gray! No problem!!" Good as his word, Sam reversed the tractor out of the workshop without any trouble. This is a big machine for a ten year old to drive. I loved him even more! Shit. Some fifteen minutes later he was back. Now this was rather sooner than I'd expected but then I saw why. "Gray-san. The engine had oil leak. All over me!! I'm so sorry!!" Poor kid! Splattered with oil after one of the pressure relief valves failed! "It's ok. Don't worry about it Sam. We can fix that. No problem!" "Sure Gray but my clothes. Mother will kill me I think." "No she won't because she will never know. We will clean them. So you go into the bathroom at take all of your dirty clothes off. You throw them out to me and I will wash them. You have a bath or a shower or both and when you're done, you come into the lounge and I'll have a big fire alight so you can keep warm as your clothes dry. We've lots of time before you have to go. How does that sound? Just pick up a big bath towel once you're done and come through. Ok?" "Sure Gray. Thank you." Job done. Sam had kicked all his kit out of the bathroom door and I could hear the shower running. The oily stuff, which was mainly his top and his jeans, I put onto a speed wash and his socks and underwear I hand washed and stuck them straight into the dryer. By the time I was done, he was out and wrapped in a big bath towel and sitting cross legged by the open log fire. I sat down beside him giving the fire a poke before loading it up with more logs, sending a shower of sparks and embers up the chimney. "I'm still cold, Gray?" "Get out of town!! It's so hot in here. Look. I'm only wearing a tee shirt on top and there's you with a bloody great towel! How can you be cold?" "My feet. My toes! So cold! You feel!" At that he lay on his back and shoved hid feet under the hem of my tee shirt and on to my chest. In so doing, I got a glorious view of his 'bits'. Semi - hard little cock. Totally hairless. Now I'm in trouble. I don't know why but his feet have always been a subject of my feelings for him. Feet normally smell bad and never before have they had any sexual appeal for me but here I am, getting the biggest hard on of my life! Not only that but I've got a view of his most wonderful dick and it's obvious he's enjoying himself! "Oh my God, so they are! Damn they're so bloody cold! Take them off me, PLEASE!!" "Sorry but I knew you would not mind so much, Gray. I know you like me. I also like you. I see you watch me and I understand. I watch you too and understand also. You want me don't you? You want to touch me and feel me. I know this. I don't mind. You are a fine man. I want to be like you when I grow up." Gob smacked I was! He was offering himself to me! He knew how I felt about him! He was willing to give himself to me. No hesitation! Tears flooded down my face. How much I wanted this to happen to me. How much I needed it! How much I loved him. How much for that very reason I could not. I just couldn't. END.