Date: Wed, 04 Oct 2006 04:01:31 -0700
From: fritz@nehalemtel.net
Subject: I Love Corey, Chapter 86

	I just finished one of these dreaded warning and disclaimers a few
days ago, and here it is time for another.  Am I being punished for
something I did?  Are you being punished for reading this story?  (Long
sigh) Alas, I suppose I'd better get started on it so we can share the
misery.

	You know, I don't care if minors read this story or not, yet I'm
supposed to tell them they shouldn't.  Okay, minors shouldn't be reading
this story.  I hope that makes someone happy, but it sure seems like a
waste of perfectly good words to me.  After all, any minors lurking around
this site probably won't pay any attention to this warning anyway.  In
fact, in the time of my youth such warnings would have only caused me to
stay and I doubt that young people of today are very much different from
the young people of my day.

	Limping along, this story occasionally contains descriptions of sex
acts of a gay nature.  Depending on your definition of the word "gay," I
could say that most sex acts are of a gay nature.  After all, such acts
normally make people happy and according to M-W, the definition of gay is,
"Happily excited: keenly alive and exuberant."  I could go on, but you get
the picture. Anyhow, after pondering upon that for a while I came to the
conclusion that those people who get upset when reading such descriptions
must be jealous of other people being happy.  So if reading about it will
make you unhappy and send you into fits of jealous rage, leave now while
there is yet time to escape such upsetting things.  Let the rest of us be
gay, or something along those lines.

	Sadly there are those who don't want anyone to be gay and happy.
They have passed draconian laws to make the reading of this and similar
stories illegal.  Well I'm not going to tell you to break the law, but I
will tell you to be careful should you decide to do so.

	Since the story is fiction, anyone who believes it really happened
is even nuttier than I am.  Enough said on that subject.

	Please be kind and properly attribute any quotes from the story.
That isn't asking a lot and it will make me feel better.  What will make me
feel really good is if you share some of the great wealth you make from a
commercial use of this story.  How one would make great wealth from the use
of this story is beyond me, but most of you are probably smarter than I am
so put your minds to work.  I will gratefully accept every penny you choose
to share with me.

	Don never complains, but sometimes I do feel sorry for him.  I send
him pages of gibberish and he is expected to make sense of it.  That he
manages to do so is to be marveled at.  My thanks go to him.

	Send your complaints, suggestions, questions, or comments to
"fritz@nehalemtel.net" and be sure to include "I Love Corey" in the subject
line.  I might even get around to answering you someday.  In the meantime I
hope you enjoy the following chapter.  Fritz
****************************************************************

			I Love Corey, Chapter Eighty-six

	Boy it was nice to make it to the bedroom where I didn't have to
listen to Kath.  I mean really, a house is something you live in, not a
fashion or decorating statement.  I must have sighed because Corey was
grinning at me.

	"Had enough?" he asked.

	"More than enough," I replied.  That set him to giggling.  He
finally quit long enough to ask.

	"Don't you want to decorate her house?

	"Good Lord no!  I didn't decorate this one and I'm not starting
now," I told him.  Corey got a surprised look on his face.

	"You didn't decorate this house?" he asked with a note of
incredulity in his voice.

	"No, Aunt Sandy did.  I tried to keep completely away from her when
she did it, but Uncle Matt kept telling her where I was hiding."

	That brought about more giggles from Corey.  Before he could think
of anything to say I continued.

	"I've been getting even ever since by spoiling Kevin and Kristen
rotten."  That brought about even more giggles from him when I said that.
I finished undressing and headed for the bathroom to brush my teeth.

	When I finished with that and finally got into bed, Corey cuddled
up and relaxed in his usual position.  It was time for our nightly
conversation.

	"Do you think the house deal will go through?  I heard you telling
Mrs. Graves not to get ahead of herself."

	I chuckled.  "Yeah, it'll go through.  I was just trying to get out
of decorating.  I wish she would calm down a little.  There's something
about women and decorating.  Aunt Sandy is the same way.  She was worrying
about what color and material the drapes should be and all I wanted was
something to cover the windows."

	Corey was quiet for a little bit and then asked the question I had
put out of my mind.
	"Do you think Mrs. Graves is going to foster Andrea?"
	"I don't know.  That's for her and Judy to decide, not me.  I'm
going to keep my nose out of it and I think you boys should do the same.
Why all the interest in Andrea?"

	"I don't know.  She just seems sad."

	Corey was right.  Andrea's behavior had been much more subdued than
normal.  I could see it every day when she was in class, and if that wasn't
enough, it also was affecting her grades.  The last few papers she had
turned in were not up to her usual standards.  As I was thinking about that
Corey interrupted my thoughts.

	"I wish she had some place to live like I do."  When he said that,
he had a plaintive tone in his voice.

	"Judy will find her a good home," I told him. Even as I said that I
was thinking about some of the things she had told me about the shortage of
good foster homes.  Judy had told me she alone needed at least twenty more
good foster homes and that it was the same all over.  There were simply
more children in need of care than there were good homes to place them in.
Ideally I would not have four boys because one person doesn't have the time
to take care of that many, but by carefully selecting the ones she assigned
me she hoped I could do a reasonably good job with that many.  I hoped she
was right.  Sometimes it seemed like I didn't have enough time to devote to
each boy and that I was failing them through lack of attention.  Yet so far
they seemed to be adjusting about as well as could be expected.  The fact
that both LT and Mark had such sunny and optimistic dispositions had really
helped as it gave me a little more time to work on JJ and Kyle.  So far I
wasn't making much progress with Kyle and I worried about his apparent lack
of friends and wondered what I could do to help.  JJ was coming around and
it looked like both Corey and LT had been responsible for that as I didn't
see that I had managed to do much for him.  In fact the last few weeks had
shown a side of him I'd never seen before.  He was much more open and
cheerful than he had ever been to my knowledge.

	Of course Corey had come a long way from the sad boy I had first
seen last fall.  He had kept gaining in confidence and as he did so his
whole demeanor improved.  He was much more willing to take on
responsibilities and his grades were now up to about "B" level and were
still climbing.

	I knew that there must be things I could do for all the boys that
would help them, but so far most of what I had been able to do was supply
them with a place where they felt safe and accepted.  A lot of things they
would have to work out on their own, but at least they now had a safe place
to do that.  Anytime I got a chance I kept reminding them that they were
just the same as anyone else and had no reason to feel ashamed of
themselves and it looked like it was working.

	About then I noticed that Corey had dozed off and that sounded like
such a good idea I soon joined him in sleep.

	Jeez, a night's sleep had only recharged Kath.  Normally she at
least gave me time to drink some coffee before trying to talk to me, but
not so this morning.  She wanted to know if I had any painting stuff like
brushes and rollers and I had to tell her I didn't, but that they didn't
cost much.  I swear that I had no more than told her that and I was getting
a bunch more information on just what cleaning supplies she was going to
get and use to scrub walls and so on.  Not only that, I had to put up with
more of it than usual because I couldn't even dash off to school.  I could
only wish that courts took up as early as school did.  The boys caught the
bus for school and I was still getting my ear worn out with all the plans
she had.  My suggestion that she hire some cleaners and painters sailed so
far over her head she wouldn't have even heard a sonic boom if it had been
traveling faster than the speed of sound.  I was most thankful when I could
finally make my escape and head for the courthouse.

	That didn't go like I had expected either.  The lawyers and the
judge were in conference and I proceeded to sit there and twiddle my thumbs
for over two hours.  By the time court was back in session, it was almost
eleven-thirty.

	The judge explained that all the defendants, except for
Rev. Langston, had changed their pleas.  The trial would continue with only
Rev. Langston as a defendant and I was again seated in the witness box.
Once again it was time for cross-examination.

	I'll have to say this for Rev. Langston.  He didn't let a little
thing like being held in contempt last Friday slow him down in the least.
His first question was on the same old subject, namely wasn't I worried
about my soul and of course that question produced much gavel pounding from
the judge.

	"Mr. Lofton, you needn't answer that question," was the first thing
the judge said.  He followed it up with, "Reverend Langston, I warned you
about bringing religion up."

	"But your honor, how can I defend myself when you won't allow me to
present my defense?" Rev. Langston asked.

	That was the way it went, and went, and went.  Reverend Langston
would start a series of questions, and then he would start getting into
religion and the judge would stop him.  He was doing better than he had
last Friday and his questioning kept starting from things the DA had asked
me about, but it soon kept going off on the religious angle.  We broke for
lunch, and it was the same after lunch.  He wasn't even very original in
his line of questioning and must have asked me why I wasn't afraid of
having JJ and LT in the house a couple dozen times, to which I continually
answered that I saw no reason to be afraid of two boys, and that they had
never done anything which would make me fear them.  Just like clockwork he
would then start in with his `I should fear for my life since they were
evil personified and the children of the devil' rant.  Of course that
always brought about the judge's warnings about proper cross-examination
and that we were in a court of law and not a theological court.  Finally
the judge seemed to have had about all of it he could stand and told
Reverend Langston if he brought up religion one more time he would find
himself in jail for contempt.  I figured my part would soon be over and
slightly relaxed while waiting for Reverend Langston's next question.

	"Well, since you've repeatedly told me you don't fear them, what
services do they have to do for you to earn their keep?" he asked.  The way
he managed to say services left no doubt in anyone's mind just what it was
he meant.

	You talk about excitement.  The Judge was rapping his gavel, in
fact so hard he broke it and the head of it went flying and landed in the
middle of the floor about ten feet in front of him, and the DA was shouting
objections.  As for me, I was so mad I was ready to kill him and was
shouting that I didn't demand any services of them and that only a sick
whacko would think such a thing.  Reverend Langston was shouting back such
things as I had to be some kind of queer to let the boys stay in my house,
and that all God-fearing people should shun us and have nothing to do with
us, and that he was sorry they hadn't managed to kill me and the boys, and
that it was only bad luck that their bomb hadn't succeeded.  He even used
the words, "My bomb."  The judge added to the shouting when his gavel
broke, but soon Reverend Langston was the only one shouting, and he kept
going on about how I had to be queer because only a queer would take in two
other queers, and what was I doing, trying to turn the other boys into
queers also.  He was still shouting things like that as the bailiff
forcibly removed him from the courtroom at the judge's order.  The last
thing we heard, as the bailiff took him away, was that I had better watch
out because he was going to get me and next time "his" bomb wouldn't miss.

	I think we were all in shock.  I know I was.  Anyhow, the judge
declared a recess and tried to rap his gavel, glared at the headless gavel
handle in his hand, and stormed from the courtroom.  He was halfway out the
door before anyone could rise.

	I didn't know what to do.  Apparently, neither did anyone else as
everyone was just looking at each other.  Finally, the lady who led the
jury in and out of the courtroom took the jury away.  A couple of minutes
later the bailiff came back in and announced that the recess would last for
thirty minutes and advised us to take a break.

	I started to leave the courtroom and just as I was walking out the
door, it hit me.  Reverend Langston had outed me.  I'd been so shocked and
angry at what he said that the full effects of it hadn't crossed my mind,
and now they did.  It was like I'd been punched in the guts, and I could
just see everything I'd been working for going up in smoke.  The school
wouldn't want a gay teacher, the courts wouldn't let me have the boys, and
my friends would shun me.  I might even end up in jail.  Worst of all, they
would take Corey away.

	There were some chairs just outside the courtroom and off to the
left in a little alcove where witnesses could sit before they were called
to testify, and I collapsed in one.  I just couldn't make it any further.
My whole world was ending.  I put my knees on my elbows and my head in my
hands and silently wept.

	"Sam, are you all right?"  It was Russ, and he had joined me in the
witness area. I shook my head no, never lifting my face from my hands.

	"I guess it can be quite a shock when you find someone wants to
kill you.  I know it was for me," Russ continued.

	"That isn't it," I mumbled into my hands.

	Russ didn't say anything for a few moments as I sat there trying to
come to terms with the loss of everything I had worked for or wanted.

	"Well if it isn't that, what is the problem?  He pretty well
convicted himself and I don't think you'll have to worry about him for a
long time?"

	I could see that Russ just didn't understand as he sounded puzzled.
I was so tired that I wondered if I should make the effort to try to
explain just how Reverend Langston had ruined my life.  Russ had always
been helpful, so with a sigh I attempted to answer him.

	"He ruined my life."  That pretty well summed it up so I didn't
bother to say anything more.  Instead I went back to thinking about how I
might cope with the loss of Corey.  Somehow I just couldn't imagine that or
how I would deal with it.  He was such a part of my life that I wondered if
life was worth living without him.  While I'd survived before meeting him,
now I realized just how empty my life had been.  I wasn't sure I could go
back to that after having someone to love and share my life with.  I just
wished I had never heard of Reverend Langston.

	"I don't understand," Russ said.  "If you aren't afraid of Reverend
Langston, what's the problem?  How has he ruined your life?"

	Russ was being obtuse. Either that or he wanted me to come right
out and admit to being gay.  I thought about that for a few seconds and
decided if that would make him happy, it was a small price to pay for all
the courtesies he had shown me.  It really didn't make any difference now
anyway.

	"He told everyone I'm gay."  With that I went back to feeling sorry
for myself.

	"What difference does that make?  The last time I checked it wasn't
against the law to be gay."

	Russ just wouldn't leave me alone and let me try to come to terms
with what had happened.  While I'd always known it could happen, still it
was a shock when it had.  I didn't know just what would happen or how long
it would take, but I knew it would be bad.

	"Sam, talk to me.  Tell me what's wrong."

	I knew I should answer Russ, but I was too depressed to do so and
just continued to sit there with my head in my hands.  I wanted to turn the
clock back and not have today ever happen.  Since that wasn't going to
happen, I needed to figure out what to tell the boys, more especially what
to tell Corey.  When I thought about him there was an ache inside me.  It
hurt so bad I just wanted to die.

	"God Damnit Sam, talk to me.  It isn't like your being gay is some
big secret.  Hell, half the town knows."

	When Russ said that he got my undivided attention.

	"What do you mean half the town knows?" For the first time my head
was out of my hands and I was starring right at Russ.

	"I don't know what you're all shook up about.  When Mathers set up
the appointment last fall he told me you were gay, but very self-conscious
about it.  The school board that hired you also knew since one of the Profs
who recommended you added that information and said he was sure that it
would never interfere with your work.  By the way, that was quite a
recommendation Professor Martin gave you."

	I was flabbergasted.  I couldn't think of what to say and my mind
was spinning so fast I thought I'd pass out.  I knew my mouth was open, but
I couldn't figure out how to close it and I just sat there speechless.
Russ was obviously expecting some kind of response and I had no idea what
to say.  I didn't even know what to think.  I continued to stare at Russ
and his expression changed to one of surprise.

	"You mean you didn't know that Mathers and the school board all
know you're gay?" he asked.

	All I could do was shake my head.  I could no more have gotten my
mouth to work than I could fly.  I was frozen in place with my mind
whirling around while it tried to digest the thought that people knew about
me.  Some thoughts finally started to form in that whirling mass of
confusion known as my head.  It was apparent that half the town did not
know, but it was also surprising that so many people did.  I thought I'd
covered it up well, but learning about Prof. Martin's letter of
recommendation told me that I had lost that battle before I started.
Professor Martin and I had gotten along well, and I really respected him,
but I hadn't known he knew about me.  In fact, he had invited me to dinner
quite a few times and he and his wife were gracious hosts and his kids a
delight to be around.  Right after my folks had been killed, my grades had
taken a nosedive and he had taken it upon himself, with the help of his
family, to try to get me back on the right track.  If it hadn't been for
him and his family, I don't know if I would have been able to make it
through college.  He took an interest in me and I couldn't bear to let him
down.

	About then the thought flashed through my mind that I needed to
call and visit with him.  Our last phone conversation had been before
Christmas, and with all the boys now needing attention I just never seemed
to find the time to call and visit with him.  I also needed to find out
what day Brittany's graduation would be.  She was his oldest and would be
graduating from high school this year and if at all possible I wanted to be
there.  Chris and Tony were younger.  In fact, Tony was about Corey's age.
He had crawled all over me, much like Kevin and Kristen.  It was hard to
believe that had been almost six years ago.  I was so lucky to have many
friends who watched over me and helped me.

	"Sam, are you there?" Russ interrupted my thinking.

	"Uh, yeah."

	"Are you all right?" he asked.

	"Uh, I don't know."  That was a strange answer and I knew it, but I
still hadn't come to grips with the thought that Jerry and the Downies and
a whole bunch of people knew I was gay.  My mind was still trying to
process that information.  Maybe it meant that my life wasn't over, and I
would still have a job.  Maybe Corey wouldn't be taken away from me.  The
job I could manage without, but I wasn't sure I could survive the loss of
Corey.  I didn't need the money from teaching and taught because I loved
it.  There was just something so wonderful about working with a student and
seeing them succeed.  When I explained something and I could see that look
of sudden understanding on their faces, it gave me a high that I couldn't
explain.  It made my life worthwhile.

	Russ looked at his watch and told me we better get back inside as
the break was about over.  I was still a little shaky, but managed to
follow him back into the courtroom.

	Looking around I noticed that most of Reverend Langston's followers
were no longer present, and those that were would not look at me.  They
didn't even give me any hostile looks, but instead seemed to be ashamed to
be there.  The Bailiff came in and announced that there would be a delay,
so there we were with nothing happening.

	Forty-five minutes later Reverend Langston came back into the
courtroom, closely followed by the Judge who asked Reverend Langston if he
wished to change his plea.  He did and the trial was over with the judge
thanking us all for our time.

	As I was walking out I could see the Deputy Sheriff putting
handcuffs on Reverend Langston.  The Reverend looked like he had aged
twenty years in about an hour.  His shoulders were sagging and all the
spirit had left him.  Once outside I was trying to decide if I could make
it to school in time to help with the last part of baseball practice, but
Russ suggested we needed to have a cup of coffee.  I was tired and the
thought of some coffee sounded good, so I agreed to go with him.  I would
have only had about ten minutes with the team before practice was over
anyway, and I probably wasn't in any condition to help the way my mind was
still whirling around.

	As we were walking down the courthouse steps a lady came up to me
and apologized.  It took me a few seconds to realize she was one of the
members of Reverend Langston's congregation, and she was apologizing for
not seeing how evil he was.

	Normally I would have tried to make her feel better, but I was
still upset and hadn't come to terms with learning my superiors knew about
my orientation, so I thanked her and we went on.

	"I can't believe you didn't know that your sexuality wasn't a
secret," Russ said after the waitress had poured our coffee and left. "Did
you ever plan on telling anyone?"

	"Well yes, I guess, that is if I had a reason," I mumbled.  "It
really isn't something they need to know.  If I thought they did, I'd tell
them."

	"Sam, look at me."  When I raised my eyes and looked at him, Russ
continued.  "It's all right to be gay.  The school isn't going to fire you.
If they tried, I'd sue their asses off for you and we'd win.  So lighten
up.  How many of the boys are gay?"
	"Four," I answered.

	"How are you going to help them if you can't even let your friends
know about yourself?  What kind of example is that?" he continued.  "What
are you, ashamed of yourself?"

	"No!  I'm not ashamed of myself!  It's just that I've seen how some
people act and it's easier not to give them the opportunity.  When
confronted I've never denied it, but I never volunteer the information."

	There was a pause while Russ appeared to think about what I'd said.
"You're right, I remember hearing how my cousin was treated before he
committed suicide.  That was over twenty years ago and while things have
improved, they still aren't perfect.  Maybe you're better off keeping it
low key."

	With that we went back to sipping our coffee.  My mind was still
trying to figure out what effect all this might have on me and how to deal
with it.  At least it didn't appear as bad as I'd first thought.  Still, if
people started trying to make trouble it could create problems for Judy
along with me and the boys.  I didn't have any answers and was still too
upset to think of any.  Russ and I talked a little more, but both of us
were thinking of other things and so it was rather disjointed and not much
was said.  When we finished our coffee Russ told me to hang in there and
with that he headed home.  So did I.

	It's a good thing the traffic was light, and I knew the road well,
because my mind certainly wasn't on my driving.  Fortunately, the Gator
seemed to know where it needed to go and before long I was driving up my
driveway.  The boys stopped shooting hoops long enough to allow me access
to the garage, and as soon as I was parked they swarmed around wanting to
know how the trial had gone.  Since there was a bunch of neighborhood kids
there with them, I sort of brushed it off by telling them that it was over
and Reverend Langston had changed his plea to guilty.  Then I had to
explain that I had no idea what the judge would give him for a sentence
because I didn't even know how many of the charges he had pled to.  It was
possible, even likely, that some had been dropped or dismissed.  They had
ranged from attempted murder through destruction of property with reckless
endangerment thrown in.  It still boggled my mind that one crime could
result in so many charges, and that only covered the criminal aspect of it.
I knew my insurance company was suing to recover the money they paid out
from the loss of my first Gator and the cost of repairing the driveway and
garage door.  The really sad part of the whole thing was that it was all
the result of unreasoned hatred.  The old saying that hatred destroys the
one who hates was certainly true.*
	Kath looked terrible.  She was just starting dinner and looked like
she could hardly walk.

	"I'm sorry, I lost track of the time and dinner will be a little
late," she told me.

	She had some hamburger out and was just starting to form it into
patties.  There were some potatoes on the counter and that was it.  I
wasn't up to cooking, and it didn't look like she was either.

	"Hard day?" I asked.

	"Yeah, I've been cleaning my house."

	"Why don't we go out to dinner?  You look beat," I suggested.
	"Oh we couldn't," she told me.  "I've already told Billy and Larry
they were welcome to stay.  I know they've eaten here a lot."

	"They've also gone out with us before, so it wouldn't be anything
all that different.  Go clean up a little and I'll put this stuff away.
We'll go to Italian Surprise and you can watch them try to get around a
pizza."

	I could see the indecision on her face and gently pushed her aside
as I put the hamburger back in the package and packed it over to the
refrigerator.  When I turned around she was limping towards the bathroom,
apparently accepting my suggestion.  I called Jerry to fill him in on how
things had gone at court and let him know I would be back to school
tomorrow while Kath was in the bathroom.

	When Kath finished cleaning up I stuck my head out and yelled at
the boys, telling them it was time to wash up and get ready for dinner.
Larry and Billy came trooping in with the rest and sort of froze when they
could see that there was nothing being cooked, but I just pointed towards
the bathroom and told them to get ready, we were going out.  Then there was
the problem of how to get everyone in the Gator.  I'd thought it would be
plenty big when I bought it, but it now looked like I was going to have to
buy a small bus or something.  I felt like I was stuffed in a sardine can,
but we made it.  I wasn't so sure we would all fit after dinner, but I'd
worry about that later.  Fortunately, it was only a little over a mile to
Italian Surprise, so we made it without anyone being crushed.

	The boys were all chattering away as they looked over the menu,
which was just as well since I still wasn't ready for much conversation.
My mind was still upset and I needed time to think.  When dinner was
served, about all I had to do was comment on the food so that also rescued
me.  Periodically, Corey would look at me and I could tell he was curious
about what had happened, and knew that something had, but he kept quiet and
didn't force me to try to deal with anything.

	I had to laugh at the boys.  Kyle and Mark had decided to share a
family sized pizza since they knew they couldn't each eat one of the
personal sized ones they normally ordered, and since the family sized was
only two-thirds again as much as the personal sized, they thought that the
two of them could come closer to eating it all.  Billy and Larry also
thought that sounded like a good idea so they did the same.  The only
problem with that was that I had seen the family sized pizza and knew it
was more than twice as big as the personal sized ones, but I didn't say
anything.  I figured they could learn the hard way, and besides, boys and
cold pizza seem to have some sort of affinity for each other.  I knew any
leftover pizza wouldn't last long.  The look of shock on those four faces
when their pizzas were served made the whole thing worth it.

	The meal went well with the boys chattering amongst themselves
while I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that my sexuality
was known to far more people than I had realized.  It just didn't seem
possible that the subject had never come up, yet no one I worked with or
had made friends with over the years had ever mentioned it except for those
I was trying to strike up a relationship with.  I kept kicking that thought
around and about the time the boys were finished eating a thought occurred
to me.  I couldn't recall anyone ever asking another person about his or
her sexuality.  I'd heard slurs like fag and homo even in high school, but
in almost all of them it had been more of a ritual slur and not because
they really thought the other person might be gay, more on the order of
calling someone a "son of a bitch," or a "motherfucker," when the person
doing the name calling knew full well that the term they were using was not
accurate.  To most people that would merely be insulting, but the thought
occurred to me that it would be even more so if there were any truth to the
slur.  It had hurt me even when those types of words were directed at other
people, but for some reason they had never been directed at me.  Somewhere
in the back of my mind the old saying about the truth hurting was running
around.  I suppose it only hurts when you are ashamed of it, and the more I
thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't altogether comfortable with
being gay.  I knew I shouldn't be ashamed, but deep down it did bother me.

	We headed home with me still saying little, but thinking much.
Kath looked exhausted, but the boys were all busily jabbering away and
didn't appear to notice that neither she nor I was saying much.  I did pick
out that the reason Billy and Larry had showed up was a meeting of the
hospital staff and that Mrs. Mason had to attend it.  She was still working
days and Billy didn't think the meeting would change that, so it was
unlikely they would show up for dinner again soon.  I also heard them
talking about who they were going to take to a dance and a question that
had been in my mind was somewhat answered when they were both talking about
the girls they were going to ask.  I had wondered if they were gay and a
couple, but the subject had never come up.  Now, at least from the
enthusiasm they were showing when they talked about possible dates, they
appeared straight.

	Out of the blue Larry asked Kyle if he was going to the dance and
whom he was taking.  Kyle stammered and stuttered and finally said he
wasn't a good enough friend with any of the girls at high school to ask one
of them.  Immediately, Larry and Billy started talking about several he
should ask, but the conversation didn't get anywhere as we were just
turning into the driveway.

	Billy said he had homework, so he and Larry headed home.  The rest
of us went in the house and I collapsed.  I was totally beat.  The shock of
this afternoon had sapped all my energy.  The boys headed off to do
homework and Kath and I were just sprawled in the family room.  Dog had
come over to me and I had managed to get up enough energy to pick him up
and was rubbing his belly when I could hear the fire sirens go off.  Nobody
paid much attention to them and soon they could no longer be heard.  I
finished rubbing Dog's belly and he got down and went over to see if he
could wheedle a little more attention out of Kath.  She groaned, but
obliged him and they were on the sofa when the phone rang.

	It was Jerry and the reason he was calling was there was a fire at
the school.  He didn't know much yet and said he would call back in a few
minutes.

	"Hey guys," I shouted, "The schools on fire!"  Needless to say that
was the end of homework as boys poured out of their bedrooms to find out
what was going on.  It didn't take them long to convince me we needed to
drive over and see what was going on and how bad it was.  Kath was totally
beat and decided she would stay and take care of Dog.

	There really wasn't much going on when we got there.  There were a
couple of fire trucks and crews, but everyone was standing around except
for some people from the power company who were busy.  I saw Jerry off to
one side and walked over.

	"Well Sam, no school tomorrow.  The main wiring panels shorted out.
It doesn't look like there is much damage, but the wiring needs to be fixed
and things checked out before we can open up again."

	"How long do you think that'll take?" I asked him.

	"I don't know yet.  At least a couple of days, maybe longer.  I
better go get on the phone and let people know."

	"Need some help?" I asked.

	That was either the right thing to do, or the wrong thing depending
on how you looked at it.  Jerry, myself, and the boys were soon at the high
school calling all the parents of middle schoolers and telling them that
there would be no school tomorrow and maybe longer.  There were plenty of
phone lines and Jerry handed each of us part of the list to call.  The boys
seemed to get through their calls faster than either Jerry or I did.  I
wasn't sure what his problem was, but it seemed that anyone I knew wanted
to ask a few questions and that slowed me down.  Still, it only took us
about forty-five minutes to call everyone we could make contact with.
There were only three names who we could not contact.

	By the time we were done with that, a whole bunch of people, like
most of the teachers and the school board, and some parents and others had
shown up and that took us more time as they wanted to talk and hear all
about it.  Some of the school board members were talking about what might
be done to get the school open quicker, but no one had any answers yet.  I
was beat and so we said our goodbyes and headed home.  For once in my life
something bad had worked in my favor.  I figured I could use the day off to
pull myself back together.

	Kath was right where we had left her except she was asleep.  Not
only that, Dog was on the sofa with his head in her lap.  He looked a
little guilty when I glared at him, but made no effort to get down.
Instead he just thumped the sofa with his tail, leaving his head still in
Kath's lap.

	The rest of the boys were teasing Kyle about having to go to school
while they got to stay home, but I put an end to that when I told them that
we could help Kath with her cleaning.  Suddenly, I had groans from them and
Kyle was grinning and rubbing it in that he felt so sorry for them and
would think of them while he was in school.  He made some other cracks
about them slaving away before he headed back to his bedroom to finish his
homework.  He was smirking as he left the family room and it occurred to me
that this was about the first time he had ever entered into teasing the
rest of the boys.

	I'd just finished checking Kyle's homework when the boys decided
some dessert would be good so there went almost gallon of ice cream.  By
the time Dog had done his best to save us from having to use the dishwasher
on the ice cream bowls, it was time for bed.  I was more than ready.

	Corey had been giving me strange looks all evening and I knew he
had figured something had happened today and it would be the topic of
conversation as soon as I got in bed.  He didn't disappoint me.  As I was
telling him about Rev. Langston I could feel him tense up, but when I
finally worked through the story to where Russ told me half the town knew,
his exclamation of "Shit," summed it up perfectly in my opinion.  When I
finished telling him all about it, he was quite for a minute or so.

	"Are you going to tell everyone now?" he asked.

	"Don't know.  I haven't thought it through yet," I replied.  "I'm
still trying to come to terms with people knowing."

	"Do you think anyone will say anything?"

	"Well, I doubt that those who knew will, but maybe some people who
didn't will say something.  I wish I knew," was my response.

	After that we were both quiet while we thought about it.  I was
just about to say more when I realized that he had gone to sleep.  When I
glanced at the clock I could see why.  I had been thinking for forty-five
minutes.  After that it still took me another hour to get to sleep even
though I was tired.  I knew I needed to talk to Jerry at the very least,
and how many more I hadn't decided.  I owed it to him.  There were also the
Downies and Vern, among others, I should probably tell.  I fell asleep
wondering just how many had figured it out and who I needed to tell and how
to do it.

	I was still tired when the alarm went off.  I managed to drag
myself from bed and headed for the bathroom and the shower.  Apparently
Corey felt me move because he was right behind me.  Still, the shower was
only that, a shower.  Sure, we washed each other's backs, but that was
about it.

	Kyle was even worse than normal.  Not only was he harder to get
moving, he was on the grumpy side.  We finally got him out the door before
the bus drove off without him, but just barely.  With Kyle off to classes,
it didn't take long to get the house slicked up and the dishes in the
dishwasher.  It was time to start cleaning.

	Kath wasn't walking very well so I sent her off to rent a carpet
cleaning machine.  As soon as she was gone, the boys and I started in on
her house.

	It is surprising what boy power can accomplish, especially when
they have goals.  I told them that lunch would come after we had
accomplished a certain amount of work and not before then.  I tried to
figure out what would be reasonable, but goofed in my assessment.  What I
thought would take until almost noon was done at 10:30.  Since we had spare
time, down to the lumberyard we went to pick out some paint and the means
to apply it.

	I should have known better, but the paint buying was a total
disaster.  I might not know much about many household maintenance projects,
but Mom and Dad had taught me about painting.  Lord knows Mom liked to
change the color of the rooms every couple of years, so I had done plenty
of painting when I was growing up.  It started with the paint itself.

	Paint comes in many prices, but Kath looked at nothing except
price.  That was our first disagreement.  We finally worked our way through
that and she grudgingly accepted that I was not going to tolerate cheap
paint.  Mom had tried that one year and it took more of it to cover making
the price as much as the more expensive paints and if you figured in any
labor costs, it actually cost more.  When Mom bought that cheap paint, then
she had to buy more and we had to apply an extra coat.  Finally we agreed
on the paint, and then came the color.

	I don't know why I got dragged into the discussion on color,
because I wasn't going to live there.  None-the-less, I kept getting
handfuls of color chips stuck in my face and asked which I liked best.  I
don't know where Danny and the rest of those cowardly boys disappeared to,
but I was left in the focus of Kath's decorating ideas.  My God, how many
shades of white ceiling paint are there?  Let me tell you, many more than
there needs to be.  I won't even begin to discuss the various shades for
the walls except to say I thought beige was a color and I quickly learned
that beige was an army of colors.  I swear that some of those patches
appeared the same, but they all had different names and numbers on them.
What a disaster.

	Of course there were also problems with rollers and brushes, but I
got through to her I wanted decent ones as I might need them again someday.
By the time we finally got everything, the boys were like hungry sharks and
it was almost 1:00 P.M.  Silly me, I'd thought we would just run down and
grab some paint and things and be home in less than an hour, where we were
now in almost two and a half hours.  I decided that Flo's would be a good
answer since we were only about three blocks from it and I was afraid the
boys would die before we could get home, at least they seemed to be saying
so with all their complaining and whining over how hungry they were.  Lunch
was pretty good and at least it shut the boys up.

	We were almost back to the pickup when my cell phone rang.  It was
Jerry and school would be out the rest of the week while the main wiring
panels were replaced and the system checked.  Not only that, it seemed that
the contractor who had built it had tried to substitute cheaper products on
the wiring and that was the reason it had failed.  I knew that Jerry had
never been happy with the contractor and if he was right, I could see why.
Both he and Vern had bitched about some of the problems that had shown up,
and the Downies wouldn't even talk about it.  Ellen would just clench her
teeth and glare when the subject came up.  So far everyone was much happier
with the way the new high school was going, but it wasn't completed so no
one knew for sure just how it would turn out.  At least this contractor had
a much better reputation.

	The afternoon went well.  I got stuck with the carpet cleaning
machine and managed to get all of it done by the time I had to go pick Kyle
up from his driver training class.  That allowed me to return the rental
machine on the way home.  I also swung past Downie's and picked up some
broiled chickens and various salads and stuff for dinner.  That sounded
better than cooking.

	Kyle was in a good mood since he had passed his written exam and
now had a learner's permit.  When I told him he would have to drive home
from Downie's, his eyes lighted up and his grin stretched from ear to ear.
That was until he actually got behind the wheel.  Then he was panicked.  It
took lots of talking on my part, telling him he could do it, but finally he
started the pickup.  It was a good thing there was no one in front as I'm
not sure he could have backed out, but with lots of wheel twitching, and
much use of the brakes he finally made it out onto the street and headed in
the right direction.  I was very impressed with the quality of the steering
wheel as Kyle didn't manage to crush it even though he had it in a death
grip.  Fortunately, the streets were wide and there wasn't all that much
traffic, so we made it home with no accidents.  Kyle got clear up to twenty
miles an hour a couple of times.  When he shut the engine off, the air went
out of him like a flat tire.  There was a long whoosh while he relaxed.  It
was a sort of jerky ride, but I survived.  For a while I wasn't sure my
nerves would stand it, but I managed to keep my cool and when I told him
not bad, Kyle's face exploded into a smile.  We gathered up the chickens
and the rest of the dinner and walked into the kitchen.  I'm not sure
Kyle's feet touched the floor.  He was still just floating along when we
got down to Kath's house and started in helping.

	Kath was once again about all in.  She was limping badly, but not
yet willing to quit for the night.  Corey and JJ finished up painting the
ceiling in the third bedroom shortly after I got back and I called a halt
to the project.  By the time we managed to get the rollers and trays
washed, and the rest of the stuff put away or picked up, the boys were
ready for dinner.  I left the furnace cranked way up and a couple of
windows open hoping that would hurry the drying process on the carpets.  I
still thought they should have been replaced, but they did look much better
now that they were clean.  The brown actually had a slight warm reddish
cast which I had not realized.

	I was amazed at the progress we had made.  I knew part of it was
because there was no furniture to move, but the rest was because the boys
had worked hard.  We had over two-thirds of the scrubbing done and would
finish that easily tomorrow.  The painting was just getting started, but at
the rate the boys went at things it wouldn't take long to complete that,
although it might take a while to clean up after them.

	Kyle was as excited as I'd ever seen him.  For the first time he
seemed almost happy, and was busy telling the boys, bragging actually, that
he had only missed one question on his written test for his learner's
permit.  He got the usual flack about he should have done better and got it
right, but he understood the rest of the boys were happy and proud of him,
and even a little jealous.  All the time this was going on, in fact all day
my mind had been mulling over just what to do about telling people about
myself, or even if I should.  You know how it is, sometimes there is
something you keep thinking about in the back of your mind and it just
won't go away.  The problem I kept coming up with is that I had never seen
anyone just walk up and say, "I'm gay."  I didn't think that was the way I
ought to handle it and couldn't figure out a better way.  Still, there were
a few people I really needed to tell and I was trying to figure out a plan
that might make the subject come up to where it seemed a little more
natural rather than just dump it on them cold turkey.

	About the time dinner was over a plan hit me.  When anyone I wanted
to tell brought up Reverend Langston's trial I could work it into the
conversation.  It seemed like the perfect plan.  With that in mind I
realized that I was much more relaxed and comfortable than I had been for
quite a while.

	Kath wanted to go back to her house and work some more, but I
finally convinced her that slow but steady wins the race.  She was dragging
and I knew her leg was bothering her, but she was so eager to get moved
into her own house I started to wonder if she was uncomfortable with our
present arrangements.  I didn't bother to ask, because there seemed little
likelihood of getting an honest answer and I didn't want to make her feel
uncomfortable.

	Kyle said he didn't have any homework, so I decided to take him out
on another test drive.  Needless to say, that met with his approval, but I
won't say the same for the rest of the boys.

	This time we took the Gator and after he got things adjusted to fit
him, away we went.  Perhaps a better way of putting it is away we lurched.

	I don't know how people who teach driver's ed. manage to keep from
getting severe cases of ulcers.  Kyle was so nervous that he couldn't relax
and still thought he needed to keep an iron grip on the wheel.  Of course
he over-corrected and that meant he kept jerking the steering wheel back
and forth.  I managed to keep from panicking, but just barely.  Thank God
by the time we got back to the house he was either so tired he was starting
to calm down, or he had gotten a little more confident.  I was hoping for
the latter.  My light-hearted joke about it being just a big riding mower
didn't seem to help him even though he had quickly mastered operating it
and charged around like he was driving a go-cart or a bumper car when it
was his turn to use the mower.  Hopefully he would do better next time and
I wouldn't have to dent the floorboards from stomping on the brake pedal
that wasn't there.  I will admit I was impressed with the Gator, as I
couldn't see a sign of any dents in the floorboards, however my legs were
tired.  In the meantime I was in need of a beer to settle my frazzled
nerves.  As far as that went, Kyle looked about like I felt.  It had been
so hard not to yell and warn him to watch various things, but I'd managed
to keep my mouth shut somehow.

	When I plopped down in my recliner, Dog was right there and he
didn't care that I thought I needed something to calm myself, he thought I
needed to scratch and rub him.  Overall I think Dog did a better job of
calming me than the beer did because I only drank about half of it.

	Jerry called and reported that the baseball game would be
postponed, likely cancelled.  The only way it would be played is if it was
necessary in deciding the league championship and who would go to state.
Since there seemed little chance of us or our opponent going, I put it out
of my mind.  Jerry had tried to arrange for us to travel there owing to our
lack of hot water for the showers and such, but due to scheduling conflicts
it was not possible.  He was still growling about the contractor and
reported that there would likely be a lawsuit over it.  There were also
some investigations going on with the inspector who had approved the wiring
and allowed the cheap panels to be used.  Jerry was convinced there was
probably some kind of payoff involved and that when it was all done there
would likely be at least a loss of license and perhaps jail for him.  At
least I wouldn't be involved in it, so I didn't have to worry about it.

	Apparently all the physical labor had taken its toll because I
could hear showers starting without having to say a word to the boys.  That
sounded good to me and the day ended pretty well that is if you count what
happened after the shower.  In fact, the day ended very well, at least in
my opinion.  I think Corey felt the same way.

	For some reason I woke up about a half hour early.  For the first
time in a long time I was really relaxed and rested and amazingly I didn't
have to dash off to the bathroom.  Instead I just quietly watched Corey
sleep.  He looked so innocent and peaceful lying there flat on his back.
The house was warm and most of the blankets were kicked off so only a sheet
covered him and there was a definite tent in that sheet.  I thought about
the bulge a little and I couldn't resist.  I moved the sheet aside and
there it was, my favorite part of Corey.  It had been a long time since I'd
done it to him while he was asleep, but it looked so inviting that I just
leaned over and started gently licking on it.  Of course that led to other
things and I finally just gobbled him up and started enjoying my morning
snack.  I don't know what he was dreaming about, but judging by the sounds
he was enjoying it as I continued sucking.  There were a few little soft
gasps, and even some small thrusts, but they were nothing like when he was
awake.  All of a sudden I felt hands on the top of my head and heard the
words, "Oh God."

	I raised my head and turned to him with a grin.  "Nope, it's just
me."  Then I went back to work.

	The fact it had been several hours since his shower meant that he
smelled a little stronger of my favorite scent, that of Corey.  I just kept
lazily tonguing him and he was now making much more noise than he had while
asleep.  His hands were busy running through my hair and he was starting to
writhe around on the bed, but I was in no hurry and was just enjoying
myself, well that and Corey.  As I lay there sucking on him the thought
went through my mind that it couldn't get much better than this.  All I
wanted to do was spend the rest of my life loving Corey and teaching
school.

	Corey couldn't last and soon I was rewarded with what I had been
after.  When it was over he flopped back and panted for a short while, then
bolted from the bed saying, "Gotta pee," as he dashed towards the bathroom.
Seeing his cute little behind bouncing towards the bathroom was a great way
to start the day.

			To be continued...


* Actually, the full quotation is, "Hatred, which could destroy so much,
never failed to destroy the man who hated, and this was an immutable law,"
by James Baldwin.  He also wrote the following, "I imagine one of the
reasons people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they sense,
once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain."  Both statements
strike me as very true.  Deep down people know that hatred is wrong, but
they cannot face the pain which accompanies the loss of hate, and so they
continue on, destroying themselves in the process.  It is so much easier to
hate and blame others than it is to accept the pain of recognizing our own
failures.