Date: Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:29:27 -0700 From: David Johnson Subject: Impossible Love This story is about love (and eventually sex) between a heterosexual man and an enticing young boy. If this theme doesn't appeal to you or it's illegal to view such material in your state--you've been warned. Please remember to donate to Nifty. Fantasy is an important component of the human experience, and being able to share fantasies with other like-minded people is a miracle facilitated by the (unpaid) staff at the site. You are not alone. Impossible Love My son Dominic is quite a jock. He's a football player at his middle school. I've always been so proud of him. He also isn't afraid to stand up for what's right, and that's where this story begins. I don't have full custody of Dominic. My ex-wife and I share the responsibility. I mostly have him every other weekend and half the summer unless something comes up, in which case I have to shift things around to accommodate him. When he's with me I try to give him my full attention. For a while after I got divorced I was dating a little, but it ended up being really frustrating, spending so much time, energy and money on women that I never did fall in love with. After two years of this I gave up and decided to make my son my priority. My ex-wife fared better than I did and eventually her new boyfriend moved in with her, which bothered me, at least at first. But that's just how life is, I guess. Nothing is ever perfect. Well almost nothing.... Even though Dominic is very bright, athletic, and a good kid in almost every way, when he was 13 he started having some trouble focusing on his school work, so after a few conferences with my ex, the school principal, the counselor and his teacher we decided it would be best for him to repeat seventh grade. We knew it would be a little humiliating for him, but we thought in the long run it would be in his best interests, and he didn't resist us about it. I think his greatest worry was that I would be disappointed in him, and I assured him that was not the case. The result of this was that he ended up being almost sixteen before going on to high school. The middle school he attended included fifth through eighth grade, which is really unusual, but it was because the nearest elementary school was severely overcrowded. It was this situation which led my son into making friends with a boy much younger than he was, and eventually led to me becoming very close to this boy myself. It started something like this. I would often pick my son up after school on Fridays, and sometimes drop him off at school when things came up. Amy and I live near each other, which made it easy for us to share the responsibility. It was on one of these occasions that I became aware of a boy at his school who seemed to be new there and stood out from the other children, even among the crowds of middle schoolers. For one thing he was extremely attractive, with soft dark hair and eyes that seemed sad, but really luminous and blue also. When his eyes met mine, which happened more than a few times, I felt some sort of connection to him. His body was graceful, perfectly proportioned with that unfinished look of pre-adolescence. His skin was smooth, delicate and flawless--he had a golden-ness about him, an almost angelic appearance. He dressed in a stylish skater-boy fashion and he always wore something around his neck, a thong or choker which gave him a slightly androgynous look. But whenever I saw him he was always alone and had a serious expression on his face. To me he seemed like a kid who had suffered a lot. He must have been about eleven when I first saw him, and I searched for him repeatedly whenever I ended up being at my son's school. The times when I didn't catch a glimpse of him I felt almost hollow and unsatisfied. You might think it's strange for a fully grown man to be so obsessed with an eleven year old boy, but there was something about this kid that was just beguiling. His face was so beautiful that I felt as if I could fall in love with him. Anyway this went on for a few months. I was actually starting to feel pretty frustrated, because I wanted so badly to know this boy and to hear his story, but there aren't very many circumstances that bring men and boys together in that sort of way, so I had to be content with just running into him at school and making eye contact with him. But after a while I even began to have dreams about him. It really wasn't a sexual thing at all, not at first. Don't get me wrong-- I've never had an attraction to kids his age. I'm definitely not a predator. But this feeling I had for this boy whose name I didn't even know seemed to transcend right and wrong, somehow. Anyway at the peak of my frustration something incredible happened that made our paths finally cross in a real way. It's really impossible for me to believe that it wasn't fate. I know that if the rest of society knew about what we ended up doing together I would be locked up as a criminal and despised by almost everyone. But this circumstance that brought us together was just too unbelievable to be a coincidence. One day my son called me and told me that he'd made a new friend. `Really,' I asked `How did that happen?' `Well you always told me that I should stand up for a kid if he's being pushed around by someone bigger than him. So that's what I did. See there's this boy at our school who everyone thinks is gay. The football players started to harass him about it, especially Marcus, and finally I couldn't stand it anymore so I threatened to beat him up if he kept doing it. They all stopped teasing him then and walked away, so we started talking and became close friends.' `That's really good to hear, son,' I said, my heart welling up with pride. I had taught him well. `Dad,' he continued-- `What is it, son?' `I guess I was wondering if I could bring him with me this weekend when I come stay with you. See, he doesn't have a dad and his mom works long hours and he's really lonely. It would mean so much to him to get to spend the weekend with us.' At this point it didn't even occur to me that the boy he was talking about might be the boy. I was picturing someone more my son's age...so I hesitated at first. But after Dominic did a little pleading I told him that it would be okay. I said I'd pick them up at the usual time in the usual place and to make sure his new friend was prepared to spend the weekend. The next day was Friday, and I left work early so I could get my son and his friend, whose name was Connor. When I pulled into the parking lot I spotted Dominic and the boy. It was really him. He was leaning against the wall with his head down looking serious, like he always did, but it was unmistakably him. I got out of the car and walked over to them. When I walk I always project an air of selfconfidence. I have good reason to be self-assured. I'm a successful man--tall, goodlooking, well-built and highly skilled at my work. I've done very well for myself and done well raising my son. The only area in my life where I'd failed was keeping my marriage together. I approached them with my usual composure, but on the inside I felt almost dizzy with the realization that this boy that I'd been watching and fantasizing about for a few months was actually going to be spending two nights at my house. All of a sudden my heart was beating hard and my hands seemed to be trembling, although it wasn't visible. `Hi son,' I said when I got close enough. `Why don't you introduce me to your friend?' `Sure dad--this is Connor, he's in sixth grade. Connor this is my dad, Michael.' `It's nice to meet you,' I said smoothly, smiling down at him and holding out my hand. Connor put his hand in mine and looked up at me. I swear I felt like I'd been hit with a bolt of lightning. The combination of looking into his eyes and touching his hand at the same time was positively electrifying. I didn't know for sure at the time, but I thought that he felt it, too. And I could have sworn that the look he was giving me was one of longing. We shook hands briefly and then I helped Connor carry his bag to the car. It was a relief to turn my back to him, because I felt like I had to control every movement so as to seem unaffected by his presence. We got into the car together. My son sat in front with me and Connor got into the back seat. Every so often I would sneak a glimpse of him in the rearview mirror. Most of the time I caught him gazing out the window, but a few times his eyes met mine and I felt it again--that shock of seeing something in his eyes-some kind of recognition that I was meant to be someone important to him. When we arrived at my house I had the boys take their bags up to the bedroom where they would be sleeping. I actually had two spare bedrooms, but they both wanted to stay in Dominic's room. There's only one bed in there, but they didn't seem to mind. I decided to start the barbecue and the boys wanted to swim, so we all went out in the backyard. I couldn't believe how beautiful Connor was in a swimsuit. I tried really hard not to stare, but it seemed almost impossible. The two boys were playing in the water, Dominic chasing after Connor and pinning him against the side wall of the pool. He was so close to Connor it almost seemed like he was about to kiss him. Then Connor splashed water at him and they separated, but not before the boy glanced over at me to see if I'd been watching them. I looked away quickly, trying to hide the fact that I was slightly turned on by seeing my son playing with a younger boy that way. The contrast between my son's muscular, athletic physique and Connor's delicate boyish figure was pretty hard not to notice. They looked beautiful together partly because they were so different from each other. After they were done swimming, they laid out in the sun. Connor was on his belly with his head turned to the side. I watched him lying there, mesmerized by the sloping incline of his lower back and the soft hill of his bottom. He couldn't see me, so I observed him longer than I otherwise might have. I wanted to memorize every curve of his body. After a little while, when he'd dried off a bit he got up and came over to me, watching me coaxing the coals on the barbecue grill. He didn't say anything, but the way he was watching me sent chills up and down my spine. It was a curious, intimate sort of gaze, as if he wanted me to teach him things. It was all I could do not to drop anything. I started putting the steaks on the grill and suggested that Connor go take a shower and change his clothes if he was done swimming for the day. Really I said it to make him go away because his very presence was making me so damned nervous that I was really afraid I would do something stupid. He said `Okay,' and went into the house. At that point Dominic came over to me and said `Don't mind him...he has a thing about fathers.' `What do you mean?' I asked. `Well you know...he doesn't have a dad. He told me he thinks about dads all the time. That he fantasizes about a man holding him and saying that he loves him and wants to take care of him...' `Really?' I said, swallowing hard, `He told you that?' `Yeah, I said we talked a lot, remember? He tells me all kinds of personal stuff...' `Like what?' I asked even though I knew it wasn't really appropriate. `Like about how he ended up here.' `Would he mind if you told me?' I asked. By this point we had seated ourselves on the edges of two lawn chairs, facing each other. `Probably not,' he responded, `Actually I bet he'd like it if I told you stuff about him.' He had a mischievous gleam in his eye. `Go ahead then,' I pressed, hoping that Connor wouldn't come back downstairs anytime soon. `He told me it was because of his mom's last boyfriend. I think he molested him.' Dominic said. My mouth went dry. `Why do you think that?' `He didn't say it, exactly but he said that when his mom found out what her boyfriend had been doing with him she wanted to get as far away from the guy as possible. That's why they suddenly moved here. They can't afford to live here though. They rent a small apartment on the eastside, where all the poor people live.' `That's too bad,' I said, wishing I could know all about whatever had happened with his mother's boyfriend. And I was having clear mental images of myself holding Connor in my arms, telling him that I loved him and wanted to take care of him, now that I knew about his secret desire. Soon Connor came down and Dominic went up to shower and change, leaving the two of us alone together. I offered him a drink and we went inside to prepare the rest of the meal while the steaks cooked. Again he didn't talk much. I asked a few questions, like how he liked school and who his teacher was and he gave me simple meaningless answers, but I got the distinct feeling that he wished he could really open up to me about deeper things. It was just the way he looked at me, as if he really desperately wanted me to love him. Once my son came back down we set up the table outside and ate together. It was pleasant and I couldn't help but notice the way my son flirted with Connor. It was subtle, but I could tell he wanted Connor's attention. I know my son really well and I've always thought he was totally straight. He's already had three or four girlfriends and never showed the slightest interest in boys. But Connor is just so pretty that even Dominic couldn't help but be attracted to him. The way he moves, the shy way he tilts his head and looks up at you.... His eyelashes are so long they cast shadows on his cheeks when he lowers his gaze. He's literally a living breathing work of art, music, poetry.... I've never seen a boy as incredibly beautiful as he is. The fact that he had this deep yearning to be held and loved by a man was just so compelling to me that I could hardly think about anything else. After cleaning up from our meal the boys went into the living room to play on the PlayStation and I went up to my room. I didn't mean to do it, but I felt intensely horny after spending so much time with Connor, so I jacked myself off. My mind at that point was filled with images of him sitting in my lap, kissing my neck and mouth and rubbing against me. As I got close to a climax I saw myself stroking his soft skin, pulling him close to me, kissing him passionately and running my hands over his underwear-clad backside. Mind you I had never in my life had thoughts such as these--before when I fantasized about him I didn't masturbate and my thoughts had never been sexual. I felt a little guilty about it, but I simply couldn't stop them. They just seemed to overtake me. I heard my voice whispering `I love you' to Connor and him saying `I love you too,' to me. Eventually I came hard, into a hand towel which I used to wipe myself clean afterward. I decided not to torment myself with guilt. It wouldn't do any good anyway. It certainly wasn't going to stop me from pursuing what had started to seem inevitable to me. As it got later in the evening I realized I was going to have to make the boys go to bed or else they would end up staying up all night, so I went down and told them to go upstairs. Then I went back into my room. After a little while I heard soft giggling sounds coming from the bedroom. My curiosity was just out of control at this point so I crept out of my room and got closer to Dominic's room so I could hear what was going on. I could hear Connor's voice saying `No...stop....Dominic....come on, your dad wanted us to go to sleep.' And then Dominic's grudging reply.....'Oh all right....' Eventually the talking subsided and I heard the sound of deep, slow breathing which told me that at least one of them was sleeping. I went back to my room and tried to sleep too, but it was useless. I couldn't stop thinking about Connor and how much I wanted him. I'd had a few beers earlier after we were done eating, and I admit I wasn't quite myself. I looked at the clock. It was after midnight. Then I heard the sound of a door opening and closing and soft footsteps in the hall. My heart skipped a beat. I expected to hear one of them going into the bathroom, but there was just a long silence instead. After about ten minutes I decided to investigate. I got out of bed and threw my robe on over my pajamas. Dominic's bedroom door was closed and I didn't hear any sound upstairs. But I hadn't heard whichever one it was going back into the bedroom either. I went downstairs. A light was on in the den. I went in, my heart pounding with anticipation and sure enough Connor was in there curled up in a chair, waiting for me it seemed. I entered the room, poured myself a drink and turned to face him. `What are you doing up so late?' I asked him as casually as I could manage. `I dunno, I couldn't sleep...' he answered. I sat down in a chair adjacent to him. I didn't know what to say. `You seem like you need someone to talk to,' I said finally. `Am I right?' `Yeah...' he said in a voice so soft it was practically a whisper. `I have a lot on my mind all the time...' `You're awfully young to have a lot on your mind. What's bothering you? You can tell me anything,' I coaxed. `I'm a very understanding person.' He looked at me with such a vulnerable expression. He started to speak, but didn't know how to begin. `My son told me your mother's boyfriend was abusing you,' I said, figuring it would be easier for him if I just brought it up myself. `Would you like to tell me about it?' He looked up at me and I could see him beginning to blush. Then he suddenly said, `That's what she called it.' `I don't understand...' `I liked what he did with me. It was what I wanted. Yeah, I know it was wrong....I mean he was her boyfriend and all....but really I was the one who started it `cause I just couldn't control myself around him. He was so hot....When we were alone I teased him constantly until finally he gave in to me and we started fooling around. But then when she caught us she blamed it all on him....' This definitely wasn't what I had expected to hear. I'd assumed that he had been traumatized by the experience. `How did she find out, then?' `She walked in on us. We thought she'd be at work all day but I guess she felt sick and came home all of a sudden. I'm sure it looked like he was raping me, `cause he could be kind of rough sometimes, but really I was enjoying it as much as he was. I loved him so much....' My hand shook as I lifted my brandy glass to my mouth. I couldn't help but picture the two of them together in my mind's eye. `Go on,' I said. `I cried so hard when I realized that I was never gonna see him again. She thought I was crying over what he did, but it wasn't that at all...' `So was he actually...I mean...did he...penetrate you?' `Yeah...' he sighed. `I know.....everyone who knows about it thinks it was some terrible experience. They feel sorry for me and all. But now that he's gone I just keep thinking about how much I want to have a relationship like that again. But it's not easy to find a man who will love me the way I want.' As he said this he looked up at me, searching my eyes for some kind of connection. `They're all just so afraid of getting in trouble.' `Well it is considered a very serious crime. I mean legally you're nowhere near old enough to consent to sex with an adult...' I said, but at the same time I was thinking about how incredibly attractive he was at this age. I wondered why god would create someone so beautiful and then say `don't touch'. Was it only to torment me? `I know and that's what's so frustrating for me. I didn't just consent to it I practically begged him for it. I hate it that the rest of the world doesn't understand that I know what I want and I don't like being told that I can't have it. I can see why it would be illegal for a man to pursue me, but why is it wrong for me to go after a man? It's kind of insulting, really, that people think I need to somehow be protected from myself...' As I considered where this was ultimately leading I suddenly felt uneasy. It was easy to fantasize about being with him, but realizing that he was most likely going to start pursuing me the way he did with his mother's boyfriend scared me to death.... Would I have the strength of will to resist him? Did I even want to? But was I willing to cross that boundary and face the potential consequences of doing so? This was not the sort of love that society would embrace, and that meant it would need to be concealed, like a shameful secret, no matter how the two of us felt about it. At some point I would have to make a decision about whether or not I should allow him to do what he was obviously contemplating, but now was not the time. `I do see your point,' I answered, `but things are the way they are and unfortunately no amount of protesting is really going to change that...You're definitely in the minority here. I mean most boys who have similar experiences are completely ruined by them.' `Yeah....' he agreed. `Anyway you've told me a lot tonight...I think we should take a break and go to sleep, don't you?' `Yeah....' he said again. As we went up the stairs I put my hand on his shoulder. Yes, I know in that situation it was probably inappropriate as it might encourage what was already working in him, but I really just wanted to communicate to him that I accepted him, regardless of how unacceptable his feelings might be to the rest of the world. And he seemed to relax a little bit. When we reached the hallway he mouthed `Good night' to me and I squeezed his shoulder as we parted. I was finally able to sleep. The next morning we all woke up late and got ourselves cleaned up. The three of us ended up in the kitchen together, all fumbling for food and coffee, and bumping into each other groggily. Connor and I mostly didn't talk to each other, but exchanged a few knowing glances when Dominic wasn't looking. Later that day my son got a call from his girlfriend and they ended up talking on the phone for over an hour, leaving Connor and I to ourselves. I wanted to be as warm and accepting of him as possible without actually volunteering to be his next lover. And I had a single question for him. `Connor, this may sound condescending to you, but I'm just wondering....does this relationship you're seeking have to be sexual? Couldn't you settle for just a father figure who loves you like a son? ...Because if that's what you need, I can offer that to you. I'd be willing to spend time with you, take you places, give you the attention you want....' Connor appeared agitated and pensive, as if he was both considering and rejecting the idea at the same moment. `I would like that,' he began, `but I'm not sure I'd be able to keep it that way. I mean...I actually have a sex drive, you know. I like it a lot, and eventually I just know I'd end up being totally frustrated. I'd probably just start looking for random guys who would be willing to have sex with me....there are older guys like that in my neighborhood. They act all gangster and stuff, but I see the way they look at me and I know they would do it if the moment was right. They don't care about the law.' The thought of him offering himself to random `gangsters' in his neighborhood chilled me to the bone. I almost felt like taking him up to my bedroom right then and there just to prevent something like that from happening in the future. But then it hit me that that was probably exactly the response he was hoping for. `Listen,' I told him `why don't we just start slow, okay? I'll tell my son that you're looking for a man to spend time with and that I volunteered to do that for you. Then we'll see where it takes us from there. No pressure one way or the other, all right?' I couldn't believe I was even saying this to him. I mean I was practically opening the door to a sexual relationship with a boy who probably wasn't even twelve years old, yet... I realized that I really didn't know exactly how old he was so I asked him. He told me that his twelfth birthday was coming up in four months, which was a little bit of a relief to me. There's a big difference between a boy who has just turned eleven and one who's closer to twelve, although in the eyes of society and the law he was extremely illegal either way. But I had to admit I was excited by the idea of having a boy his age following me around, idolizing me, wanting me to teach him things, even if there was no sex involved. I remembered how it had been when my son was eleven going on twelve. I was just recently divorced then and having my son around saved my life in some ways. There's just a certain specialness about that age....he was finally old enough to start understanding a lot of what I was telling him, but still childlike enough to not challenge or criticize me. He had also been really understanding of my moods and the anger and frustration I was feeling about my disintegrating marriage. In a certain way I did feel `in love' with him during that time, but since he was my son I didn't acknowledge it as such. At some point I knew I was going to have to talk to Dominic about my idea, to get his opinion on it....leaving out Connor's insinuation that he would attempt to seduce me. I also needed to find out about his mother and what her take on this would be. I wondered if she would feel threatened by the idea or just relieved that I was keeping her son out of trouble. The next night passed uneventfully. The three of us slept and there were no more latenight conversations. But before bringing my son home I took him aside and explained to him that Connor really needed a father figure in his life and that I had offered to spend time with him in order to help fill that need. Dominic's reaction was surprising to me. `I'm so glad you decided to do that, dad,' he gushed, `That's really what I was hoping for when I pushed you to let him come for the weekend. I knew what he was looking for and I wanted you to be the one to help him. I mean it's really not fair that I get to have an awesome dad and he doesn't. I really want to share you with him....' As he looked into my eyes I got the feeling he understood that there may be more to it than just being a father figure, but that he was okay with that... `Dominic...' I began. `Yes, dad?'' `Are you.....are you attracted to him?' Dominic looked down and blushed a little. `Fuck, is it that obvious?' `Watch your language, son...' `Sorry....but yeah I do think he's really cute...for a boy. But I know he needs you more. I can resist the temptation if that's what you're worried about...' `What if I can't?' I responded. This was the most frank thing I had spoken to my son, ever. But he just said `Look dad, I know you...I trust that you won't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. I know you'll have everything he needs and if that means some sort of sexual connection then I have nothing against it. He really wants a man....I mean he really wants to be with a man. If you say no to him he'll end up feeling rejected and unloved. You'll be able to figure out what the balance should be in this situation....the best way to meet all of his needs, and mine. I `m sure you'll find a way.' How in the world did my son become so open-minded, I wondered.... `It's touching that you have so much faith in me, but I hope you also understand how risky this could get for me. You may understand, but most other people surely will not. I hope you'll be very discreet about anything that transpires between us.' `Don't worry about me, Dad. I won't tell anyone.' If that seemed like a blanket approval for anything that might happen between myself and Connor, I suppose it was a good thing.... I knew the next step had to be contacting Connor's mother. I felt that it would be wrong to bypass her in this, even though it would be much simpler that way. Before he left I told him to tell her about me and to give her my phone number so that we could discuss the matter. My own plan was to start picking Connor up from school on the Fridays when I didn't have my son with me and to spend a few hours with him, not necessarily at my house but out somewhere `safe' like the movies or shopping or a park. As strong as my desires were, I really wanted to establish a relationship that was based on love and trust.... His mother didn't call right away and I started to wonder if she even would. I thought I might have to call her instead, but then I got a voicemail from her saying that she wanted to meet me. Needless to say this made me very nervous. After what had happened with her boyfriend I could only imagine how suspicious she might be about a man taking an interest in her son. I told her I'd like to come to the apartment if that was all right, because I wanted to know more about the environment Connor was living in. She thought that would be okay, so we made a `date' for the following Saturday. I honestly wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say to her. I kept going over the conversation in my mind...assuring her that my intentions towards Connor were totally benevolent. The one thing I had going for me was that my son was Connor's friend. In preparation for the visit I tried hard not to allow myself to have any thoughts about Connor that would make me feel that my motives were impure, but I couldn't resist thinking about holding him in my arms and telling him that I loved him. On Saturday I drove to the eastside of town where they lived. I had hardly ever been to this part of town before, never having any real need to go there. It was a pretty rough area, complete with trash-strewn alleys, seedy shops, abandoned cars on the side of the road and run-down houses with mostly dark-skinned people loitering around on the sidewalks. It was hard not to feel unsafe here. My car was much newer and more expensive than most of the vehicles I saw. I pulled up to the apartment and found a parking space, making sure to lock the car doors and stash the GPS in the glove compartment. They lived on the third floor of the building and there was no elevator so I climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. Connor's mother answered the door, but I could see Connor behind her. His face lit up when he saw me, which made me happy, though I concealed my emotions. `Hi, I'm Elsie,' she said holding out her hand. I studied her appearance. She was thin and pretty, but nowhere near as beautiful as Connor. She was maybe thirty if that but had a sort of careworn appearance, as if she'd been under constant stress for years, and maybe she had been.... `I'm Michael,' I responded, grasping her hand. `Come in,' she said, moving aside so that I could enter. It was about 11:00 in the morning. I had deliberately arranged the meeting away from a mealtime so she wouldn't feel as if she had to prepare something, but she did offer me a drink. As she came in with a glass of water, the three of us positioned ourselves around the coffee table, Elsie and Connor on the sofa, and myself in a nearby recliner. `I don't want to take up too much of your time', I began, `so I'll get straight to the point. My son and Connor have become close friends and Connor seems to be seeking some kind of male role model, or mentor in his life. I understand that you're probably doing all you can to provide for him, but I wonder how you would feel about him spending time with me? I can help him with his homework and take him out to museums, events or other places he might not otherwise be able to experience. I can teach him about business, investments, woodworking, sailing, and mountain biking.... those sorts of things. I have more than I need, even with having to pay alimony and child support, so it would put no financial burden on you. I simply want to help, however I can.' `Connor seems to be a very bright boy with a lot of potential, but life has put you both in a difficult situation', I went on, hoping that I was being tactful. `It would bring me a lot of satisfaction knowing that I can make a difference in his life, especially since my son considers him to be a very good friend.' I stopped, allowing Elsie to absorb this information. She sighed wearily, her brow ceased with worry. `I know you're right about him needing some kind of a man in his life, she said, `but I have to know....I mean the last time I trusted him with my ex-boyfriend there was a whole lot of trouble....' `That's exactly why I wanted to meet with you personally. I'm aware of what happened...how you ended up here, and I want to assure you that I have no intention of molesting your son. I've never been attracted to boys in that way, and even though I'm divorced, it isn't because I have perverted tastes....' I knew these were half-truths. No, I wouldn't molest her son, but if he came onto me, I didn't think I'd be able to resist him. And no I'd never been attracted to boys, until I set eyes on Connor, that is. And I also didn't think my taste for him was a perversion, just something most people would never understand. I turned to Connor and said `I want you to promise that you'll tell your mother if I ever do anything to make you uncomfortable or violate your trust in any way. Can you do that?' Connor was trying hard not to blush and stammer around me, I could tell that's why he wasn't saying much. `I promise', he answered in a soft voice. `As a man of means, I feel that I should do what I can to share the knowledge and wealth I've been given, to give back to those who are less fortunate. I can even help you financially, if you need it. But I'm not looking at either of you as charity cases, simply as unrealized potential. I hope you understand that.' The offer of money was enough to sway her completely. It was obvious how hard she'd been struggling to make ends meet, and any relief would be welcome. `How?' she asked timidly. `I mean are you offering to help me pay the bills? Because we're drowning in debt right now, even though I'm working my ass off, pulling night shifts sometimes, but it's just never enough to cover everything....' I pulled out my wallet, then and asked what she needed to get through a typical month. `About three hundred more than what I'm bringing in', she answered. Three hundred dollars a month...I wouldn't even notice it. I wrote her a check and told her that when she trusted me enough to give me her bank account number I'd set up an automatic transfer. Until then I'd try to remember to pay her each month. `So, we have a deal then, Elsie?' I asked. `Yes I guess so...' `Good. Then I'd like to pick up Connor from school on Friday, like I did before. I can either take him out, possibly to the see my sailboat, then bring him back in the evening or he could spend the weekend again. My son will be with me this weekend. It's up to you.' `Go ahead and keep him over the weekend. I'll be working on Saturday and then sleeping in on Sunday...plus I hate him hanging out with the neighborhood kids. They're a terrible influence.' `The weekend it is then.' I shook her hand firmly, amazed at my ability to maintain my composure, while my mind wildly imagined what kinds of things might transpire over the next few days. `Thank you so much, she practically whispered, her voice filled with weakness and gratitude. `It's my pleasure.' I answered, and then left. The whole time I'd made an effort to conceal my eagerness and pointedly didn't let my gaze linger on Connor for more than a second or two. But as I made my way back to my car my heart was singing with happiness and anticipation. The next few days felt agonizing, trying to keep my mind focused on work, while my thoughts continually drifted to Connor. And at night I tossed and turned, restless and horny from thinking about him. I really wanted to tread carefully, to maintain control over myself, and to do as I'd said I would...take it slow. But pent up desire for the boy made me feel almost obsessed. Technically my son was with me this weekend, but when he heard Connor was coming to visit, he arranged to spend Friday and Saturday night with his girlfriend. He would be gone most of the weekend, leaving us plenty of time to get to know each other better. I could hardly wait. On Friday Connor greeted me with a huge smile. I hadn't seen him smile like that, ever and it was a beautiful sight. As we got to the parking lot where no one was watching, he slid his hand into mine, but I pulled away quickly. `No, don't do that here...it's too risky. There will be times and places where we can hold hands in public, but not on school grounds.' `Sorry...'he said, but at least he was still sweetly smiling. This time he was in the passenger seat, next to me, just like my son had been all those years. I turned to him and placed my hand on his leg, stroking his soft bare skin for the briefest moment, then I turned on the ignition and began to drive. I had planned a trip to the boat dock, to show him my sailboat. Out here there was no one else around, so I allowed him to put his hand in mine again. He practically skipped next to me. I gave him a little tour of my boat. It was an expensive toy of mine with large rooms below the deck, complete with a wet bar, a kitchen and bedroom. I fed him a little; we had drinks and then I showed him the bedroom. I put my arm around his shoulder and his body practically melted into mine. But I went no further than that. He went over and sat on the bed, legs dangling and I asked him why he wasn't interested in boys his own age. He shrugged nonchalantly. `I dunno,' he said. `Ever since I was little I dreamed of having a dad....' `What happened to your real father?' I asked. `All my mom ever tells me is that she went to a party one night, got drunk and a month later found out she was pregnant. She doesn't even remember his name.' his voice was wistful, his eyes full of sorrow. `Anyway at first it was just a fantasy I had... I grew up always feeling alone and unprotected. I know my Mom tries hard, but she's always working and stressed out over money....other boys are too much like me to do anything for me. When I got older and started having dreams...you know what I mean, right?' He was blushing, now...'the dreams were always about men, not boys. I would wake up in the night with cum on the sheets and I remember dreaming of a faceless, strong, handsome man who wanted to take care of me and protect me. I can almost hear his voice, deep and low, like yours, saying "I love you", to me. The older I got the more vivid the dreams were. I could feel his strong arms around me, feel his hard cock pressed against my thigh, his chest hair on my cheek...and the next thing I knew I was having an orgasm.' `Then when my mom's boyfriend was there I realized that I could make the dream real, if I acted a certain way around him. Somehow I knew exactly what to do to tempt him...it just came as naturally to me as learning how to ride my bike....' `Were there any others, besides him? Did some other man molest you or something to make you like that?' `No, never. He was my first and only love. All I had before him were just dreams.' He looked intently into my eyes. `What about you? Have you ever been with a boy?' I cleared my throat.' No, I never even thought about it until....' `What?' he insisted. `Until I saw you.' `What about dreams?' `Once I kept coming in contact with your eyes at the school, I started to dream of you, but it wasn't sexual. It was only when you came into my house and my son told me about your fantasies that I started to think about you that way.' I could see his smile growing secretive, as if he completely understood his power to sway a totally straight man into wanting sex with a boy. `Let's get going', I said abruptly, starting to feel uncomfortable again with his intense interest in me. We drove to my house, mostly in silence. I fed him dinner and we made small talk, about his school, my work, his mother, our likes and dislikes. After dinner we washed the dishes and then it seemed only logical to find a good movie to watch. I scrolled through the Netflix streaming offerings and chose something random. It was mainly just a distraction. Out of nervousness I drank, and started letting my guard down as he began to work his magic on me. I put my feet up on the coffee table, relaxing and realized that he was inching closer to me, until his head was against my chest. Then his hand was on my leg, slowly working its way towards my cock. When it got there he hesitated and then began stroking it, through my suit pants. I went from half-mast to a raging hard on within ten of his expert strokes. `I thought we were going to take this slow...' I said. `This is already way too slow for me,' he answered and the next thing I knew he was straddling me, wrapping his arms around my neck, pushing his own hard little rod against my throbbing meat. I could feel his hips moving back and forth against me, writhing, rubbing, driving me crazy. `Can I sleep in your bed tonight?' he begged, `Please?' He had all the wiles of an innocent child, combined with the seductiveness of a woman. It was intoxicating. I was confused by the intensity of my feelings for him. `I'll think about it', I said noncommittally, but my body was responding to him with a force of its own. `Will you hold me, then?' he pleaded. I remembered his fantasy, and did exactly what my son had said he wanted. I held him close, stroking his, hair, back and arms, saying `I love you...I want to take care of you...' My voice came out sounding deep and hoarse, but I meant the words, completely. Breathing in his clean, but boyish scent made me feel giddy. He responded by kissing me on the lips, parting them with his tongue, until we were French kissing without even a little bit of resistance from me. My breath was coming in hard, ragged gasps as he continued grinding his groin against mine. I couldn't take it anymore....I picked him up and carried him up the stairs, laying him gently on the bed. But honestly I didn't know exactly what to do with a boy. I stripped off his t shirt and shorts, then began unbuttoning my shirt, tossing it aside. This couldn't be too much different than making love to a woman, I thought. You strip, you kiss, you slide your hands over smooth, bare flesh, and let nature take over. Looking down at him lying prone and submissive excited me beyond measure. Pretty soon he assumed a crawling position and his face was quickly coming towards my crotch, his hands fumbling with the zipper as I stood at the edge of the bed. I helped him get to what he wanted so badly...my pants dropped, and my boxers fell to the floor as his tongue greedily began to lick and then suck on my rigid cock, while his incredible blue eyes gazed up at me. I smiled down at him, running my hands through his hair in appreciation of his efforts. My cock at this stage must have been a lot to handle, but he managed to get it down his throat a little ways. The pleasure was like nothing I'd ever experienced. He seemed to know instinctively how to give the perfect blow job. But just as I was on the verge of blowing the biggest load of my life he pulled his mouth off with a soft `pop', and then turned over and allowed me to gaze at his perfect, round ass clad only in a pair of threadbare briefs. I couldn't believe he wanted this from me so soon, but the sight of him on his hands and knees in front of me clouded all reason. I stripped off his thin little briefs and began to stroke his firm bare ass. I opened the cheeks, to reveal his small pink rosebud. Almost as if hypnotized by the sight, my dripping cock moved towards him on the bed, connecting instantly with the tiny little hole. I slid it up and down, letting my voluminous pre-cum lubricate him. I wondered if that would be enough, though....I didn't want to hurt him, so I pulled away momentarily to get to the bottle of lube from the drawer in the nightstand. I covered my cock with it until it was perfectly slick, and then slid two fingers inside of him, wetting him on the inside. Then I began my slow intrusion into his most private place. I realized immediately that there was a big difference between a young boy's ass and a woman's pussy....he was extremely tight, so much so that I seriously wondered if I'd be able to fit inside of him. But after several slow thrusts, I managed to sink my cock in as far as it would go. I could see him biting his lips, trying to take the pain...even though he wasn't a virgin I could only imagine how it must feel to be penetrated by a man as wellendowed as I am. Once inside, I could feel his muscles clamping down on my cock, driving me wild again. At first, out of fear of hurting him, I tried to be gentle, but soon I could tell he wanted roughness. `Do it harder,' he cried out, lifting his bottom up higher to allow deeper penetration and laying his chest flat on the bed, grasping one of my pillows. Then he gasped `Pull my hair!' and I obliged him, tugging his head back forcefully as I started to thrust harder and faster. Finally he begged `Spank me, daddy!' and I did, giving him a few hard slaps on the ass, making his cheeks jiggle. That was it for him...he suddenly convulsed in a prolonged climax, spilling a teaspoon or so of clear liquid on the bedspread. I wasn't finished yet, but seeing him come had brought me pretty close. I leaned over him and turned his head to the side, delivering a crushing kiss to his tender mouth, probing with my tongue, while simultaneously thrusting fast and hard until my balls were smacking against him. Within seconds I was hit with the longest, most intense climax of my entire life. I couldn't believe how quickly he had caused me to cross every boundary; doing things to him I'd never imagined doing to a boy his age. When I was finally finished seeding him, I pulled my cock out, gradually, relishing the sight of my semen dripping down the inside of his thigh. So much for taking it slow... I was amazed that I felt no guilt after what I'd just done. I'd underestimated the extent of his sexual need, as well as my own. As we cleaned ourselves up and got ready to go to bed for real, I went over exactly what had happened on this first night alone with him. It's my nature to analyze everything and this was no different. I had imagined that we wouldn't have sex for at least a few weeks....what had gone wrong? I realized that we'd both been deprived of sex for a long time. Besides my regular jackoff sessions, I hadn't been with a real person in almost two years. Likewise for him it had been six or seven months, I guessed, and he seemed to have a voracious sexual appetite. Then there was the way he made me feel, whenever I got close to him...weak-kneed, trembling, almost as if there was a tangible electric current running between us. And he'd been so aggressive in pursuing sex, urging me on, yet with the appearance of complete guilelessness....I thought about that little trick he'd played, of sucking me almost to the point of orgasm and then quickly presenting his ass to me instead. Had that been a calculated game, to entice me to fuck him? I'm pretty sure he knew what he was doing. I would have been completely satisfied with just a blow job, but he wanted more.... Then I thought of how he'd begged me to pull his hair, ride him harder and spank him. Each time he pushed me further, my temperature seemed to spike. I'd never been quite so dominating with women, and to be honest, it made me feel very masculine. As I watched his face drifting off into peaceful sleep, I tried to analyze his motives as well. He was confused and conflicted for sure, but I didn't see any way of curing his itch for sex with a father figure, except to indulge him and let him be the one to initiate it. In his childish mind he'd created an idol for himself-a stern, yet loving `daddy' who was dominant, protective and disciplinarian, hence the desire for spanking and forcefulness. And yet our sex had been an act of love, above all, even as rough as it was. In one hour he'd begun to make up for a lifetime of growing up with no father. As exciting and titillating as it had been to have sex with a beautiful young boy, I really wanted to not get too caught up in the fantasy. Erotic feelings were intoxicating, but I knew that I couldn't meet all of his needs between the sheets. I wanted to show him what it was really like to have a father who would love and protect him at all costs, and teach him the things he'd need to grow into a mature man himself someday. I imagined what would happen if our whole relationship were centered on the thrill of sexual conquest and submission....he'd be like one of those `twinks' at gay bars, forever seeking a much older man to entice. His life would revolve around sexual pleasure and middle age would probably come as a complete shock. No, I wouldn't have that for him. We'd had a lot of fun and the release had been exquisite, but I was going to need to steel myself against his beguiling nature, for his own good. I already wanted to fuck him again, but I also wanted to make sure and take him somewhere tomorrow, and talk to him as much as possible. This relationship would hopefully be therapeutic, but one day I wanted to see him find love with someone closer to his own age.