Date: Thu, 10 Dec 2015 01:38:27 +0000
From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com>
Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The marble dining room table is being used for what it was originally
designed for. The cold medium rare lamb is as tender as Austin's lips and
as my father aptly points out shares the same colour on the outside as that
of Barrack Obama. A meal at our formal table cannot be completed without
some sort of discussion about politics, which ultimately turns into a game
that involves the calling of various leaders, both domestically and
internationally, bad names which is always good for a laugh, however
sometimes it becomes quite frustrating for guests to overhear. In between
Austin complimenting Mel on the meal and nodding his head as we all try to
solve the worlds tricky problems with a knife and fork in hand, at times I
notice Austin biting his tongue in fear that if he dares to conflict with
my father or Mel on their right-wing conservative ideology that he will be
tarred and feathered. Multiple slices are carved off of the leg of Dolly
the lamb that sacrificed her life to fulfil our dietary requirements and
when matched with the hearty rich gravy, which assists in re-heating the
lamb, which languished on the counter resting for an extended period thanks
to the unexpected visit of the local constabulary and their questions, a
bit too long so rather than resting our dinner went to sleep. After a few
glasses of Bailey's Shiraz, I feel that we have resurrected the ghost of
Ned Kelly and his spirit is now dancing on the table as the conversation
starts to come to its inevitable end about politics. To get my father off
of his soap box, Austin asks a question which was earlier suggested by his
mother when he earlier called to check that he can stay over for dinner and
hopefully the evening.

"Daniel, my mother wants to know if you are going to Tanya's wedding."
Austin knows that I do not speak with my mother, and I find it shocking at
first that he would ask my father such a bizarre question but my shock
quickly morphs into curiously and also sense of amusement as I pick up my
wine glass and wait for a commentary that will no doubt be much more
colourful then any sort of comparison of the colour between Obama and the
leg of lamb. I wonder if Austin has indeed been affected by the spirit of
Ned Kelly, who stops dancing on the table long enough to take an interest
in the question also.

Everyone goes silent for a noticeable period and I chew on a portion of
lamb for much longer than I need to. My father takes a drink of his wine
and puts the glass down. "Austin, please don't take this the wrong way as I
am happy to discuss anything and everything with you, and I sincerely hope
that you will forgive me for saying this, but you need to tell your mother
that she needs to stop stirring shit up. Her life seems to be a daily
audition for The Real Housewives of Melbourne and just feeds on conflict
and drama. Honestly, I don't know how your father puts up with her." My
father takes a drink and I hope with it, his honest assessment of Julie
McGuire has concluded. Mel continues to eat her twice baked potatoes with
lamb reduction and looks to be very amused. "What I find fascinating about
your mother is that she could have rang me, sent me a text, e-mail or all
of the above which I know she can do, and frequently does, as she is always
trying to guilt people into donating for whatever cause she is championing
every other day, but instead she uses you as her pawn to try to stir some
shit up. She knows goddamned well that I am not going to Tanya's
wedding. Hell, I only found out about it today when Chezdon sent me a text
about it. Do you think either one of us are counting the damn days down
with giddy anticipation?" My father is on fire and takes another drink. I
feel like I need to say something or else the soliloquy will continue all
night.

Interrupting my father is always a risk and seeing how much Mel is
entertained by his speech, that and how mortified Austin looks, calls me to
arms. "Austin, that sums it up really. Voldemort is not loved too much
around this house, so I guess you can tell Julie, no." I reach over to grab
the wine bottle and extend my arm as far as I can to refill my father's
glass and strategically try to distract him. "So dad, are you going to
China anytime soon?" I hope by mentioning China, he will start providing
expert commentary on what he thinks of his associates there.

My father takes another drink and I close my eyes as I listen to him start
to speak again as the first word that he says indicates that I was not
successful. "Tanya and your mother should both keep auditioning for The
Real housewives of Melbourne as they will have something to do with their
lives instead of trying to fuck around with me." My father was friends with
Austin's dad until a year ago, but then they had some sort of falling out
and I was never told why. Obviously my mother and Julie McGuire have stayed
in touch and remain close, probably just to irritate my father if you ask
him his opinion. The families were best friends of sorts when my parents
were married, before I was even friends with Austin, which developed
independently of our respective parents and our families squabbling.

"My mother is a bit of a drama queen, I know." Austin looks frustrated,
like he can't let the topic go and is quite aware that if he continues,
that he is going to get another free verbal assessment of the life and
times of Tanya Morrisson and Julie McGuire. "Sorry, but my mother told me
that I need to tell you something as this information should come from
someone that you actually like, and not via e-mail or anything like that."
I think that my father likes Austin after his positive reaction to my
revelation that he is my one-day old boyfriend.

My father looks intrigued and picks up his wine glass and starts smelling
the contents. This is a habit that I have also recently picked up, which
makes me think that I would look rather sinister doing it as my father
looks menacing at the moment as his mouth looks distorted when looking at
it through the oddly shaped glass. "Okay, I will bite. What important
information do I need to know?" My father takes another drink. His
curiosity got the best of him, much like the fabled cat.

Austin places his fork on the dish and then wipes his lips with the black
cloth serviette that was resting in his lap. "Your ex-wife has M.S." Austin
is interrupted with his mouth still open, who looks like he has more to
say.

"What the!" Mel exclaims. Mel rarely says anything about my mother as it
just leads to unnecessary tension and because she handled my parents'
divorce proceedings feels that she should just not get involved in any
discussions involving her. "Whether it is true or not, oh Jesus. Christ."
Mel is lost for words and for as a Barrister, I make a mental note of this
moment so that I can give her a hard time later and remind her that she was
so shocked that she could not speak.

Austin picks up his fork again, and is about to poke a morsel of lamb with
it before he finds an opportunity to finish his message from Julie. "My
mother says that she is marrying some bloke and it is rushed just because
she is expected to be in a wheel chair soon and she doesn't want to be
pushed down the aisle. That is all I know, so don't shoot the messenger!"

My father looks exasperated and continues to sniff what remains in his wine
glass. "Sorry Austin, I hope I didn't come across like a dickhead. My anger
and frustration with those women has nothing to do with you, and it doesn't
do much good for me to talk rubbish about your mother, so I
apologise. Please tell Julie that you passed on the message and that we are
giving it attention that it deserves."

Feeling confused, I feel that I need more information. "Isn't M.S. what
Michael J. Fox has?" I think about his character in The Good Wife which I
watch with Mel every week.

"No Chez, he has Parkinson's. M.S. is short for Multiple Sclerosis and it
is a disease of the nervous system. It really doesn't end well so I wish
her luck." Mel starts to swirl the wine in her glass as vigorously as when
I last masturbated, and I think that I am going to have a good session
tonight in the shower if Austin doesn't succumb to my wants and needs. My
thirst for wine intensifies, so I pour another glass and raise it to the
ghost of Ned Kelly who once again starts to dance on the table near my
father.

"Wow that it is a bit tragic." I mimic my father and start smelling the
wine and think about getting Austin off. The tragic news about my mother
doesn't bother me and in fact it is distracting me from enjoying the meal.

My father puts an end to the topic and fortunately does not provide any
parting commentary about any of the maternal figures in our young
lives. "What do they have you reading this term? Have you been told yet?"

Austin and I are in the same English Literature class and seems very
pleased that the topic has changed so I let him answer whilst I first look
at the deep hues of the wine and then shortly after enjoy a taste. "I think
it is called The Metamorphis by a bloke called Kafka I believe."

My father starts laughing hysterically and I think that he is going to
first fall off of his chair and more alarmingly spill his wine on the floor
as he buckles over not bothering to try to control himself. When most of
the amusement passes, which takes a few minutes and gives me the
opportunity to enjoy a few mouthfuls of the twice cooked potatoes and
pungent yet aromatic gravy, I pause to stare out the window at the
Melbourne skyline and imagine what it would feel like putting my cock
inside Austin's arsehole. The daydreaming gets me hard so I hope that the
new and no doubt spirited conversation which will start up soon will
distract the table enough so I can adjust my painful boner.

"The irony is killing me Austin. This is why I pay good after-tax dollars
for Chezdon to go to a private school. Jesus Christ! I can sum this up
quickly boys, so make sure to make some mental notes and you will be
guaranteed a high distinction for anything you write about bloody
Kafka. The main character in that novella is really a caricature of your
father, Austin. The Metamorphosis is about a depressed salesman who
undergoes what some people think is a horrifying yet surreal
transformation." I don't think anyone notices me rolling my eyes as my
father steps back on his soapbox which gives me the opportunity to adjust
my boner under the table without Austin noticing.

As my father managed to associate the main character of this book with
Austin's father, I really want to read it now strangely. My father has
another drink of wine before providing additional words. "Kafka is from
Prague, which I had the displeasure of visiting not long ago after I had to
go to Budapest to get the dodgy Hungarians in line. Prague is gloomy and
claustrophobic and the Czechs celebrate Kafka like he is some sort of
national hero that repelled the invading armies, when in actuality all he
was, is a famous social outcast that spent his days brunching, just like
your father Austin."

Half-way through my father making his assessment of Kafka and having a go
at Austin's father, Mel puts down her glass of wine, covers her mouth and
starts laughing. She continues long past my father's rant about Kevin
McGuire, the teachings of Melbourne Grammar and poor old Frank Kafka who I
assume is dead and buried. My father takes another drink of wine and
snickers. "The Czechs even built a museum to honour old Kafka. What is in
it that would be interesting? Who would know though as I would think it
would be as boring as the man himself. What I found fascinating though is
outside of the museum is a piece of art by another Czech sculptor that
features two men urinating into a pond in the shape of the Czech
Republic. If you send a text message to a number that is advertised near
it, the two statues will move their bronze penises and spell out the number
with their urine. That about sums up the Czech republic." I feel the need
to relieve my bladder after that sublime description of a country that I
doubt I will ever visit.

Mel keeps laughing, which is steady consistent cackle which interrupts her
drinking. Even I find the humour in all of the nonsense. "Austin, welcome
to the Morrisson family." I reach for my wine glass and then make the
standing offer. "Join us for dinner more often, it is never dull." My
father returns to eating his meal. "You said earlier that you should do
some reading tonight. Are you going to get stuck into the Kafka now? I know
I am intrigued about this assignment." I now want to read about this tragic
yet depressed salesman and see what sort of transformation he
undergoes. Perhaps what my father said is a clue as to why he is feuding
with Kevin McGuire.

"No, I don't think I have much desire to read tonight now. You are a funny
guy Daniel. You should open for Josh Thomas at the Melbourne Comedy
Festival." Austin decides he wants some more wine and grabbing an empty
bottle, Mel is quick to stand up and source a new vintage whilst still
giggling. I am not sure if Austin is being serious especially after my dad
had a go about both of his parents in different contexts however the
representations he made are pretty spot-on, a depressed salesman and a
woman that belongs on the Real Housewives. I am surprised that he didn't
insinuate that his mother made his father depressed and this is the reason
why Austin is gay. These thoughts make me chuckle. Austin looks at me
curiously, no doubt wishing that he could read my mind. "What a great meal
and it was certainly a lively conversation. This sort of thing never
happens in my house, in fact we rarely ever sit down and eat together, so I
really appreciate this."

Mel has opened a new bottle of Baileys Shiraz and starts to refresh
Austin's glass and then hers. She still has a smile on her face. "There is
never a dull moment here, believe me." She raises her glass. "A toast. To
Austin. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to give some shit to the
cops. That woman copper was just a bitch. She wouldn't even look at me when
we were outside on the street. Don't worry Austin, we will not be telling
your parents about what happened earlier. I am sure after everything you
heard, it probably comes as no surprise as we aren't exactly on friendly
terms." Glasses are brought together in the air, multiple chinking sounds
are created.

"Really? I never would have thought." Austin takes a drink and rolls his
eyes. This amuses my father so he starts laughing once again. Not as
ridiculously loud as when he heard about Kafka being taught to our
impressionable minds, but he seems very amused. He wipes his mouth and then
slaps Austin on his back. "You are a good kid Austin. I am glad you put up
with my son. You are certainly quality compared to those parents of yours."
I believe the wine has gotten to my father as even the look on his face
changes and it appears he may have realised that he crossed the invisible
line, which is rare. "Do me this favour. Take that cricket bat you beat up
that bloke with home with you as a souvenir of this momentous day. Not only
can it be a symbol of lessons learned, but also can serve as an icon of a
positive and happy way forward with Chezdon. Every time you see it, know
that you have a family in Southbank that you can always depend on. Is that
okay with you Chez? I will get you another bat signed by Clarke. Hell, I
will get you one signed by the whole team."

"Yeah, that is cool. Will you take it Austin?" Even though I am buzzed, I
know what my father is doing. Earlier Austin commented that I can play mind
games with people but my father is the master manipulator. By sending the
bat home with Austin, he is effectively sending a message to his parents
that he has essentially has won and will always be one-up on them.

"Yeah sure. I don't even like cricket but I am sure it will be valuable
some day since Clarke signed it." Austin looks pleased.

"Spoken like a true capitalist. Kafka will be turning in his grave." My
father pats Austin on the shoulder once again and then wipes his mouth for
the last time with his black serviette before standing up. "That was
amazing Mel, thank you." He walks over and puts his hands on Mel's
shoulders and leans down and kisses her on the cheek. The adults never
engage in any sort of display of affection in front of me so I know this is
all a show for Austin, who will no doubt report back all of the
intelligence he has learned at our residence after his mother ultimately
asks him one thousand questions. I hope that he shares the comparison of
the colour of Obama to the lamb, as that jibe will enrage Julie McGuire as
she is about as left wing as you can get. Even if ten percent of what my
father said is communicated it will cause outrage and the feuding will
carry on.

"That was so good Mel. Thank you!" I follow my father's lead, wipe my mouth
with the serviette and leave it behind before walking around the table so I
can give Mel a kiss on the cheek. Mel will not mind being used as a pawn,
so I ham it up a bit, which pleases my father. I then excuse myself to go
to the restroom, leaving Austin and Mel alone at the table so they can talk
about what I assume will be James and everything else that I am sure she
wants to ask. The wine and full stomach has given me courage and I am not
too concerned what is said as after confessing that I am gay earlier to my
father. Nothing else that is said would even come close to the magnitude of
that revelation.

After urinating, I am conscious to wipe my arse and rub some of my Nivea
sports anti-perspirant deodorant around the holiest of holes and also roll
some of the chemical under my ball sack, as I want to feel clean, fresh and
confident, especially if I get to enjoy the night of my life with
Austin. With all of the walking around today, I realise that I should
change my underwear also since they have absorbed some sweat and should I
get into a vulnerable position later, I don't want the horrible smells of
my private areas to deter Austin should he get motivated to get into the
mood. I consider taking a few minutes to beat off, but instead reserve my
hot load as I am hopeful that I can deposit it inside Austin later. The
wine has given me courage and when I change my underwear I reason with
myself that if I can't score tonight, there is a serious problem.

After getting dressed, I abandon my shoes and then notice my phone on
resting on the bed. I have been away from it for what seems to be an
eternity and with one of the most dramatic days of my life nearly over, I
casually grab it, wondering what has been happening outside of Southbank
and Melbourne Grammar. Ten missed calls and forty new text messages greet
me. Most of the text messages are from Jayden who is concerned that I have
gone missing, not only on social media but from my phone. There are a few
missed calls from the dreaded private number and my frustration level
increases immediately as I remember that someone keeps ringing and hanging
up on me. I send a message to Jayden and ask him to calm down and then
write that I left my phone in my room whilst I was dealing with some family
stuff, which is true and leave it at that. I explain that Voldemort
announced that she is getting married and it caused a stir in the usually
happy Morrison household and that my father has been on his soapbox. Jayden
will certainly understand the comments about my father, since he is my one
friend that actually goads him on, and he thinks Daniel is hilarious. I
toss my phone back on the bed next to Austin's, where I hope we will be
interchanging places with our respective phones later. Thoughts of what I
want to do to him followed by what I want him to do to me flood my
imagination and I lose track of time staring at my bed, only to have my
lurid thoughts interrupted by Austin as he walks into my bedroom. I look at
him and smile. "Hey, hottie." I don't know why I chose that term of
endearment, but it seems to please him.

Austin puts his arms around me and kisses my cheek. After releasing me from
his clutches, he walks towards my bathroom and slides the doors
closed. "What a day!" I hear him but I can't see him. After I hear the
toilet flush, he slides the two mirrored doors open and before leaving
spots my small bottle of Nivea anti-perspirant deodorant that I recently
used near the sink. He grabs it, takes the cap off and then pulls up the
left side of the shirt that he earlier borrowed and applies the
chemical. He repeats the process on his right armpit. At no point did I
feel like saying that just minutes ago applied the same product around my
arsehole and under my ball sack. I really don't think he would react well
knowing that information.

"So what are you doing mate? Are you going to hang out here, go home or
what?" I sit on the bed and then quickly realise that may be too suggestive
so I get up and sit on the chair at my desk and then cross my legs and
attempt to look relaxed.

"Probably just stay here if that is okay. Mel said she will make up the
spare room." In my mind I curse the bitch for thwarting my evil and
romantic plans. I will have to have a hard word with her, and I predict
that she is expecting it, which will entertain her to no end. Everyone is
playing a game and I hope to win Austin as the prize.

"That is cool." I casually say and then focus my attention on my laptop. I
feign some interest at the Windows 8 login screen, but I never type my
password. "We can watch a movie in here if you want. You can sleep in here
also, that would be pretty cool. Like you did on Saturday. It was nice
waking up next to you. Nothing has to happen."

Austin walks over to the bed and lays down on it. He reaches out to grab
his phone, makes some swiping gestures and then looks at it intently for a
few seconds, which results in me turning my attention back to my laptop, so
I login and appear disinterested looking through my e-mail. I spend a few
minutes deleting junk messages whilst Austin re-connects digitally. Finally
I hear an ominous sigh and a light thud and turn around. Austin has tossed
his phone onto the bed, which is out of reach and has his arms back behind
his head. He looks relaxed for the first time all day. "I just messaged my
mother and said I am staying here tonight."

My heart starts beating faster. I press the Windows Key and the `L' key
which locks my laptop and after closing the bedroom door, I join him on the
bed. I reach for the remote control and power on the Samsung television and
we both get an idea of what is playing by looking at the Smart Hub summary
screen. "Do you want to watch a movie? Looks like rubbish on free-to-air."

"Sure."

I press the `source' button which allows me to wirelessly connect to the
media centre in the living room which gives me access to the collection of
movies, recorded television and music. I place the remote control on
Austin's chest. "Happy one day anniversary. Your choice."

He begins to scroll through the `Movies' folder, and whilst he considers
various titles I decide it is time to reveal something about myself. "Not
to bring up a bad memory, but I am happy that you shared the tale of the
home invasion with me. Thanks for trusting me."

"No worries." Austin continues to scroll through the list of cinematic
masterpieces.

"I have a scar also that has a story, and I am really confident that you
haven't seen it." This piques Austin's interest so he stops pressing on the
`down arrow' and turns his head to look at me. "Really, where is it?"

"Well, first the story." Austin looks very interested in what I have to
say. As my mouth is dry, I first get off the bed and walk to the bathroom
and drink some water out of the sink tap before taking my place back next
to Austin for story time. "Do you remember last year at school when Jayden
and I were mucking around; when I picked him up and injured my back and
missed a week of school?"

Austin looks confused again, no doubt trying to associate my back being
pulled out with a scar. The story I told last year was a lie. "Nothing
happened to my back. At first I thought there was something wrong with it,
but it was something more sinister. It seemed my ball rotated in my ball
sack and twisted up after that physical exertion. As it didn't untwist
quickly, I ended up in the emergency room the following night and the
doctors at the Alfred Hospital removed my left nut as it had
died. Strangled to death if you can believe it. So I was out of action for
the next week as I couldn't walk and had to recover. Nobody obviously
knows, as it is a bit embarrassing. I was in so much pain and doped up on
codeine that I wasn't even in the mood for Nandos."

"Jesus man. Why didn't you go to the hospital after it happened?" Austin
looks concerned and is hanging on every word.

"It had happened before, but after I took some pain killers in the past, it
always sorted itself out naturally after a few hours of pain. I just
thought this was normal, but the next day when I couldn't walk, and after a
fair amount of pain killers stopped working, I told Mel and she took me to
the hospital. They told me if I waited much longer I would have ended up
with blood poisoning and probably died. That was freaky."

"So would you be able to conceive, if you wanted to knock up a chick?"
Austin is really interested in the specifics.

"Of course, I still have one working ball. I just have fifty percent less
sperm when I blow and make less of a mess. My father was happy I remained
fertile and thought that my voice would change after the surgery. I think
he was surprised when it didn't." Austin laughs. I feel like I am
manipulating Austin in a way, and decide to see how far I can go with
it. "Want to see the scar?"

"Um... sure." Austin looks nervous and his eye brows disappear behind his
fringe again as I first unbutton my skinny jeans and then unzip them. I
carefully pull them off of me, being careful not to pull off my clean
underwear in the process. Once the jeans are clear of my feet, I toss the
skinnies on the floor. Austin props himself up and rests on his elbow on
his left side and looks captivated.

"I just figured I would tell you this now as if we ever have an intimate
moment." I pause. "Which I hope that we do, and you notice that I am
missing a ball, or that I have a scar on the sack, I don't want the
intimacy postponed for a question and answer period."

"Fair enough." Austin is captivated by my own tale of woe.

I first consider just pulling my blue Bonds underwear down exposing my junk
and closing my eyes so Austin can have a look at the whole box and dice. I
think back to the painful recovery period after the surgery and also the
pain that I experienced walking, which quashes any hope for my cock to
become engorged and really embarrass myself during this vulnerable
time. Instead, I roll onto my right side and face Austin and rest my head
on my pillow. I strategically grab at the cotton fabric of my underwear
that is between my legs and pull it out then to the right, liberating my
slightly hairy testicle. Austin moves his head very close to the prize and
touches the fine scar tissue. I wonder if he can smell the Nivea that I
previously applied in the area. "Jesus, that must of hurt." Feeling
self-conscious, I send the remaining part of my manhood into exile back
behind the safety of the cotton briefs.

"It was a bitch. The first day after the surgery was horrible. My father
literally had to drag me to the toilet when I needed to use it and put me
in a bath. Strangely, I didn't feel self-conscious at all after that as I
guess the pain and immobility was far more important to me, unlike now." I
roll back onto my back and put my hands behind my head. "After that near
death experience, I realised that you have to live every day without having
any regrets." I then roll back to the right and grab Austin and try to sit
on him, but he pushes me away. I make another attempt to break his defences
by first kissing his ear and then biting his earlobe before I try to insert
my tongue into his mouth however he thwarts my passionate efforts again and
pushes me away, this time with more force.

"Can't we just chill out here? You can hold me or my hand if you want, but
I am not in the mood for anything else. It would be really nice to be with
you and not have you just try to molest me every third minute. It has been
a long and ridiculous day and I am really tired. I told you before I am not
going to have sex with you on our first date, if you can even consider
today a date. God, we only got together this afternoon and look at
everything that has happened, you must be drunk if you think you are going
to fuck me right now." Austin starts to pull back the sheets and gets under
them still clothed. He makes a fair point and I really don't think that if
I was questioned by the police for assault that I would be up for sex. I
follow Austin's lead and get under the sheets and then slither over next to
him. I push my arm under his pillow and put my other arm around his
chest. After a few seconds, I start to put my hand in between his shirt and
navel and then start to pull his shirt off.

"Jesus Christ, can you please calm down and just lay next to me." I can
feel Austin pulling his shirt down.

"What is the big deal? I thought you just slept in your underwear. At least
you did the other night."

"Just stop Chezdon. I promise I will not ask you for much, but just this
one time, do this for me. Just relax and chill out." Austin looks upset and
I feel buzzed from the wine so I oblige and reason with myself that
patience is indeed a virtue and I will get what I want in time. I sit up
and pull my shirt off and toss it on the floor next to my discarded skinny
jeans. Ignoring Austin who is staring at me intently, I find my phone and
then sit back and start to read text messages. First I ignore the ones sent
by Jayden and focus my eyes to read the ones from Bryce. After a minute of
scrolling through epic sized texts, I start to laugh. Austin looks at
me. "What?"

"Do you remember Bryce telling us about his father shaking his mother and
her getting pissed off and going to their holiday home?" I shouldn't be
laughing as this is rather tragic. Tragically funny though.

"No, I don't."

"Oh yeah, you weren't with us at the time. He told us about this over lunch
on Saturday. Well, his father likes to hold his mother when they sleep and
she has a habit of farting on him and waking him up. He got pissed off the
other night and shook her after it happened, so she got pissed off, packed
a bag and went to their house in Sorrento. Anyway, it seems she came back
earlier and now wants a divorce. Bryce is devastated." I re-tell the story
and by judging by the frown on Austin's face, he doesn't look very amused.

"That is sad and really sucks, and you laughed? You are a monster without a
heart." I didn't think Austin would react in such a way so I have to
backpedal.

"I only laughed because I thought of the original story and how he told
it. I think it is really cool that a married couple sleep like that. I
really hope that years from now that I am holding you all night and I won't
care if you fart on me and wake me up. It does suck that she is leaving
though. I feel bad for Bryce." I smile and raise my eyebrows, but that
doesn't placate Austin.

"Violence against women isn't a laughing matter." I realise I need to put
an end to this conversation soon as this isn't very positive pillow talk.

"I totally agree. Absolutely. One hundred percent. Violence against boys
isn't a laughing matter either, and I would never do that to you."
Hopefully that statement placates Austin however he still looks annoyed.

"Good conversation to have in bed, Chez, only hours I beat up some
bloke. Open mouth. Insert foot. Anything else you want to say?" I realise
that now is the time to say nothing.

"Sorry." I turn my attention back to my phone and send Bryce a text message
expressing my manufactured outrage and also ask if he wants to catch up on
Saturday for lunch, which is turning into a weekly habit. Austin locates
the remote control again and resumes the task of scrolling through movies
available on the media centre. I then start responding to Jayden's messages
and detail some of the highlights of the day. Instead of providing a
one-line update about altering the relationship status between Austin and
I, I instead activate the camera, extend my arm and take a photo of us
seemingly happy next to each other in bed. Austin holding the remote and me
in a state of undress, however under the sheets. I send the photo to Jayden
knowing his reaction will be as timeless as the wind.

"What are you doing?" Austin seems more interested in what I am up to and
has stopped scrolling through the selection of movies all of the sudden.

"Just texting Jayden, I sent him a photo of us. Look." I click the photo
that is part of our messaging dialogue and show it to Austin.

"Well, I guess people were going to find out about us eventually. So much
for keeping my sexuality under wraps." Austin seems both defeated and
deflated.

My phone starts vibrating in my hand. "It is Jayden. He rarely rings."

"I really don't think he is ringing to ask you if you read any of the Kafka
tonight." Austin must be settling down and feeling more comfortable as he
is back to making witty observations. "Just answer it or he will hassle you
all night."

"Hola amigo." This is the first time that I have answered the phone with a
Spanish greeting. Jayden immediately begins speaking and doesn't stop for
at least a minute. Besides for periodically using some blasphemy and
expressing his shocked indignation as reading into the meaning of getting a
photo of Austin and I in bed on a Monday night like some `old married
couple' where questions are intermixed with commentary and the overuse of
the word `shocking' I decide that it would be funny to just say "can you
repeat that? You broke up for most of that conversation." Austin starts to
laugh as he is aware that I heard every word that Jayden said as he was
shouting so loud over the phone that his neighbours and his father who
lives 3000km away would have heard him. Jayden proceeds to use more
colourful language, repeat most of what he originally said verbatim and
just before he runs out of breath and is at a loss for words ends his
commentary by saying "I was only joking the other day when I said that the
two of you would be hot if you hooked up. How did this happen? I am so
confused. I just saw you last night and now you in bed with Austin? What
happened to James?"

Finally getting a chance to say something, I provide Jayden with the
highlights of my date with James, the subsequent rendezvous at his dirty
abode, Austin's confessional at Nandos, James making his unplanned visit to
shake me down for thirty dollars and how Austin eventually knocked him down
with the cricket bat and finally the courtroom drama that played out in my
apartment with the coppers and Mel. "Did I catch you up mate? Now you see
why I have been a bit distracted and not paying attention to my phone since
leaving school today. Oh yeah, my mother is getting married and has
M.S. too"

"Jesus Christ mate. So much drama, this is so fucked up that it has to be
true. You should write it all down and sell it as a book. You would make a
fortune." I ponder that statement for a few seconds as I do believe it
would make for a good book, but then realise that my writing skills are not
my strongest asset. "I have heard enough. I think I am going to go steal
one of my mother's Valium's so I can chill out after hearing all of this."

"You do that mate. We got stuck into the wine with the parentals earlier,
so maybe you should too. Oh, Bryce's mother is asking for a divorce. I
forgot to mention that to you."

"Jesus. It is all happening. Well, I am going to go now and read some more
of this Kafka bullshit. What a loser." Holding in my laugh is futile and I
erupt into hysterics. Tears form in my eyes and I attempt to convey some of
the random facts in between breaths that my father said about Frank
Kafka. Even Austin starts to laugh. "I think you need my mother's Valium
mate, I don't know what you are on about."

My laughter subsides to the point that I can speak coherently. "When you
rang, Austin said you certainly weren't calling to talk about bloody
Kafka. He was sure fucking wrong."

"Go do whatever you are going to do with Austin. Go see if your father has
a drawer of valiums and have one, you need it mate. Talk to you tomorrow at
lunch. Later." Jayden doesn't give me the chance to fare him well before
ending the call.

"Are we going to watch a movie, or are you going to gossip all night?"
Austin has stopped scrolling and is seems to be ready to play one of the
Harry Potter movies. I immediately think of the face of Voldemort and feel
bad that my mother is going to exit this life in pain. Within minutes, the
stressors of the day and the wine catch up to me and I fall into a deep
sleep.

******

(A/N)-- If you are enjoying this or have any thoughts, suggestions or
feedback, please send me an e-mail. I love e-mails about this book (which I
reckon has 5 chapters left if I follow my plan) - chezdon1997@gmail.com