Date: Thu, 04 Aug 2016 12:36:43 +0000 From: Chezdon Subject: Innocence Waning, Chapters 21 Chapter 21 In a delirium I walk, and it is only when a fire truck with its siren blaring speeds past me that I can comprehend the mediocrity of my surroundings. All of the houses look the same, all of the cars parked on the street are German and even the trees are planted at measured intervals apart from one another. How I yearn for a predictable and what some people would call a normal teenage life right about now where my only concern is acne. I remove my phone from my pocket and sit on the footpath and lean against a brick wall. I bring my knees close to my head. After placing the cache of folded papers next to me, I take a deep breath and lightly tap the back of my head against the wall. Looking up into a tree gives me perspective as I watch a bird sing its song, cock its head and then fly away. A black Mercedes Benz drives past me however an old woman is at the wheel and not Shaun. The elderly lady looks like the owner of the mobility scooter that I borrowed last year and the thought makes me chuckle. Unlocking my phone reveals missed calls from Austin, Brody and Mel, along with messages from Austin and Mel, both of them conveying hope that everything went smoothly with Kelly. After a protracted audible sigh, I ring Austin. "Hey, how are you?" Austin answers on the second ring and sounds as chirpy as the bird that just flew from the tree. "How did it go with Voldemort?" I sniff and a tear rolls down my cheek and on to my neck. I take another deep breath. "Hello?" I wipe at my eyes with my forearm and sniff again. "Yeah, I am here. It went as I expected. More drama and hysterics and I will not bore you with the blow-by-blow. I did my duty though." I place my arm over my eyes with the hope of stopping them leaking as I tap the back of my head against the wall a few more times. Austin is chewing on some food and he swallows before speaking. "So you two are besties now?" I take another deep breath. "No." I wipe my eyes with my arm and then use my shirt sleeve to absorb any additional moisture and sniff. "Where are you? Are you coming over to Club McGuire now?" Austin begins chewing on something again. "Yeah, I am walking there now. I am about, um, twenty minutes away from your place." The suburb of Malvern shares a border with the suburb of Toorak and I assume it will take me that long to walk to Austin's. "See you soon, do you want me to bring you anything?" Austin continues to chew on some food and then swallows. "Can you stop at the shop on the corner of my street and buy me a can of Dr. Pepper? I am feeling lazy and don't want to put on my shoes." He starts the process of chewing on food again. "Yeah sure. Whatever you want." Knowing that Austin is smiling on the other side of the phone makes me smile. "I will see you soon." I end the call before Austin has a chance to swallow and say anything else. A man walking a familiar bulldog turns the corner and walks it down the footpath towards me. I take that as a cue to grab the folded pieces of paper next to me and stand up. I consult Google Maps again and I learn that I am in fact exactly twenty minutes away from Austin's house by foot, so before the dog walker can overtake me, I jog across the street and begin to walk briskly towards Toorak. Oddly I start to think about Mr Mackay and the fly in Kafka's Metamorphiosis. Have I have devolved into filthy vermin which is simply a receptacle for cock and the lurid desires of empty men and my shallow peers? I ask myself quietly but I do not know the answer. My heart starts to beat faster and I pick up my pace. Sweat beads start to form on my forehead and upper lip and after quickly wiping them away with my hand, I abruptly stop and say to the world in general, "fuck this!" Reconciling all of the issues and risks in my mind and prioritising them as how I can best take control of my life, I take out my phone and call Jayden. Whilst tapping my foot willing Jayden to answer, my call is diverted to voice mail. I hang up and repeat the process, however Jayden quickly answers this time in a gruff voice. "Yeh?" "Hi." I pause knowing that I never planned on what to say before calling him in haste. "I probably will not be going to school tomorrow so I just wanted to ring and see what you want to talk about." I continue to tap my foot on the pavement. "Can't we do this in person? It is hard to talk about over the phone." Jayden sounds hollow but that probably has to do with the bad connection. "Maybe we can meet up tomorrow then?" "Jayden, I don't want to sound like a dick, but I just need to get on with things and resolve things one way or another. Just tell me what you have to say. I am busy with Austin tomorrow anyway." I don't lie as technically our much anticipated first date is scheduled for tomorrow night. I clear my throat and sniff hard. "Just tell me what is on your mind." "Chezdon, don't do this. Please. It is hard enough to say it and admit it to myself." Jayden's voice is changing pitch and he sounds very uncomfortable. I know what is coming, so I wish he would just say it so we can deal with it and move on. It would be nice to have my best friend back, but I know after he makes his proclamation of love, that may not be possible. I know the boy likes taking cock up his arse so why is it so difficult for him just to say a few sentences and let the cat out of the bag. "Jayden, I need to be somewhere so can you just say what you need to say?" I continue to tap my foot on the ground and watch a woman clip red roses from her garden as the sun completely sets in the background. "Oh yeah, you are seeing your mother tonight aren't you?" Jayden attempts to change the topic. "I am sure you are excited about that." "Jayden, just tell me what you have to say. Don't worry, I will not get mad or ridicule you. I pretty much know what you are going to say anyway, so just spit it out." A fleeting thought that my mother is counting down minutes until she goes toes up in a grave gives me added motivation to move Jayden along. Shit or get off the pot or so they say. The phrase sounds like something Bryce would come up with after flushing his shit down the toilet twice. I need to start flushing my personal shit down the dunny more often. "Come on." I insist. "If you are expecting me to say that I want your hot body and that I love you more than just a friend, you are deluded mate. You are so self-absorbed. The planets and the stars do not revolve around Chezdon fucking Morrison." Jayden once again sounds very confident and I am both speechless and shocked by his sudden aggression. "You really want to know, fine. I need to tell anyone that I have had sexual relations with that I am HIV positive. Suck on that arsehole." Jayden ends the call. I scream at the top of my lungs. "Fuck!" I frighten the woman cutting her roses from the bush and she collects her things and scrambles into her house slamming the door hard. "Goddamnit!" I kick the tree not once, but twice for good measure. Surely, he has to be making this up. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths and then wipe the sweat off the back of my neck and pat my forehead with my hand. I start swiping on the screen of my phone as frantically as Brody did earlier, find his missed call in my log and then ring him. He answers the phone quickly. "So did your boyfriend ring you? Were you the one that gave him the high five?" "What?" I ask incredulously. Brody shouts so loud, I could probably hear him from Richmond. "He got the HIV from someone arsehole and it wasn't from me as he was my first." "Oh Jesus Christ!" My mouth drops open and I start tapping my foot on the footpath again. I feel three beads of sweat run down my back. "He isn't lying." "If he is, it is a fucking evil prank you prick. So do you have it?" Brody asks. "The only thing I ever did with Jayden is give him head once." Brody would be able to easily detect the anger in my voice. "I do feel bad for you mate. Sorry." "Yeah, I am going to get tested tomorrow. Not like you would care, but I will let you know when I get the results." Brody now sounds like a scared boy that is afraid to go get a filling at the dentist. "Sorry Chezdon." He hangs up. I immediately ask Google what my chances are for contracting HIV during oral sex and I am assured the risk is very low unless I have cold sores or abrasions in my mouth, which I did not have at the time, or even now that I know of. My stress levels go down a bit, but this is certainly not what I was expecting to be told by my estranged best mate on what has officially become the most miserable day of my young life.