Date: Tue, 07 Mar 2017 18:41:35 +0000
From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com>
Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 26

Chapter 26

I embrace the closest tree that I can find and simultaneously roar as loud
as a lion and expel the churned coffee that I drank earlier. The sound of
thunder that accompanies my projecting vomit as it splatters against the
bark in all directions like shotgun pellets. Onlookers and bystanders
desperately dodge the regurgitated contents of my stomach and once more for
good measure and this time with more feeling after a quick glance at the
concerned public, I spew more. What once happily languished inside of me is
finally liberated from my sore body and is left to eat away at the innocent
tree with impunity.

At first unable to comprehend both the assurances afforded and the
platitudes of people behind me, I am patted like a dog where unidentified
voices offer meaningless words of comfort. I finally exclaim, "leave me
alone!" before dry heaving and using the familiar tree I previously
attacked to prop my sore body up against. Deep and controlled breathing
finally gives me the clarity to focus on what is playing out around me and
I return to some sort of fucked-up reality. Without pausing to consider my
actions, I wipe at the tears, mucous, vomit and spittle that have oozed out
of the various cavities from face on the arm of my school suit jacket.

After taking a step back, I first see the mess of fluids that I left on the
tree which drips onto the green grass below. I quickly turn around and find
my friends staring at me with looks of grave concern. I wipe at my face
again with the the clean arm of my suit jacket and shield my face as I walk
quickly toward both Austin and Malcolm. My body doesn't stop as I make
physical contact with each of them, breaking past not only their bodies but
others watching the drama unfold on St Kilda Road. I continue to push past
gawkers who express their surprise and consternation at being pushed aside
and I continue to do so until I am at the back of the nosey pack of
onlookers.

Emergency services and members of the public alike work to bring the
ambulance upright whilst an even larger group of police personnel
congregate around not only the devastated tram stop but the vehicle that
caused the carnage. From my vantage point I can make out that blood has
been spilled on the concrete and it is the first time I wonder where in the
hell Jayden really is. My heart races faster as I quickly turn around and
once again push people out of my way but this time more violently as I
scramble back towards where Malcolm and Austin are standing. "Where the
hell is Jayden?" I shout over the noise of the white Channel Seven news
helicopter that continues to hover overhead.

"What!" Both Austin and Malcolm scream at my face. Christopher takes it as
a cue to get into a huddle with us. "What?" Malcolm repeats and shoves his
ear next to my mouth. I can smell is sweat and body odour as he invades my
personal space.

"Where the fuck is Jayden!" I shout what should be a question as loud as I
can into Malcolm's ear.

Malcolm points toward the Alfred Hospital and my favourite Nandos and
shouts back. "An ambulance took him away before you turned up. It was
chaos." I grab Austin by the shirt and drag him forcefully toward to me and
then back up and begin my way back past the crowd that has formed. I turn
around briefly to see Malcolm and Christopher follow however I still give a
hand motion this time requesting them to follow me through the crowd.

If Jayden is deceased I am confident that I would be looking at a sheet
covering a body or even be watching a tent being erected around his corpse
if what I have seen happen on TV police dramas can be assumed to be true
that are set in Australia procedural wise at least. He certainly wouldn't
have been rushed to the hospital if he was found dead, so a feeling of
relief quickly overcomes me as one of the constabulary begins to shout over
a bullhorn. "Get back! Disperse now!" The constable demands and with a
sense of frustration in his voice continues to repeat the directive. I
first think the professionals may be concerned that the car that smashed
into the tram stop may be about to explode as fluids are pouring out of it
and after a cursory glance I can see fluids pouring out of the overturned
ambulance which is in the process of being righted. An overhead electrical
line that powers the tram which has fallen to the ground may be about to
bring the local power grid to its knees and blow us all to hell as far as I
know. "Let's get the fuck out of here!" I shout as loud as I can over my
shoulder once I collect my breath towards Malcolm, Christopher and Austin
who are all following me with dazed and confused looks on their faces.

The crowd begins to become sparser a block away from ground zero and it is
then when I feel that we can communicate without shouting and gesticulating
wildly. We continue to walk past the sea of gridlocked automobiles that are
still occasionally beeping their car horns. I peel off my soiled jacket
that is now saturated with sweat and roll it into a ball. "Let's get back
to Mel!" I shout and continue to walk without looking back.

"Who is Mel?" I hear Malcolm say from close behind me. Christopher jogs up
next to me and matches my gait and we walk along the footpath. "Where are
we going? Shouldn't we go to school?" The last place I want to be is school
and it is the first time that I even considered the prospect of attending
today.

Malcolm's query make me suddenly halt and gyrate my body around to face
him. Malcolm nearly headbutts me and I resort to raising my hands along my
filthy suit jacket up as barrier to stop his advance. "Really? It looks
like a drone just bombed Baghdad and you want to go to fucking class?" I
yell incredulously and raise my arms demonstrating my shock. "You can do
what you want, but our stuff is in my car stuck in this fucking traffic and
I am sure as shit not going to fucking school today." I glance at Austin
who is shaking his head before I wipe at my face again with my soft cotton
suit jacket. Without warning or saying anything I turn around and quickly
hobble along the footpath once again.

Speculation and fear tightens the muscles in my stomach as I am left alone
with my thoughts and imagination. I grip my stomach with some force and
slow to a slow shuffle as I continue my march past gridlocked vehicles and
seconds later I stop suddenly and dry heave on the side of another innocent
tree. I listen to my lungs fill with air and then blow it out of my
mouth. When someone puts their hand on my back, I swat at it. "Leave me
alone!" I hiss and return to focusing on the soundtrack of my existence as
I feel the cramps in my stomach side and briefly pause to consider what is
next if this is indeed the last breath I take.

I gain my composure yet again and after pushing myself away from the tree,
my attention is drawn to the repeated honking of a horn being tooted and
then seeing Mel waving her arm out of the window of the Cayenne. I look
over my shoulder and shout and point. "There she is!" Without paying any
attention to my friends and what they are doing, I run toward the SUV, open
the passenger door as quickly as I can and literally throw my body into the
vehicle. I throw my suit jacket on the floor and put the soles of my shoes
on it and then lunge toward Mel. I embrace her, planting my head into her
shoulder and I begin to weep again ignoring the pain that the centre
console and its controls are inflicting on my groin and thigh.

When one of the rear passenger doors opens, I lift my head from Mel's
shoulder and see Austin climbing into the car and decide it is time to turn
off the water works and regain my composure once and for all. "What the
hell happened?" Mel first asks in my ear before rephrasing like you would
expect a barrister to do. "What the hell going on?"

I wipe my eyes, nose and face on Mel's shoulder and clear my
throat. Malcolm and Christopher patiently wait outside of the open car
door. "Just get in!" I yell at the boys and accompany my words with a come
hither hand motion and they heed my demand. I once again turn to Mel who
has a quizzical and concerned look on her face. "Can we just get the hell
out of here? It is just fucked down that way. No class for us today."

"What the hell is happening?" Mel demands with a increased sense of
authority in her voice. "The radio said there was a massive accident down
there."

Austin begins to speak robotically after sliding to the right side of the
back seat to make room for Malcolm and Christopher. "There was an accident
up there. An ambulance overturned." Austin pauses and sighs before
continuing. "Some people were hit at the tram stop. One of them was
Jayden." Austin offers his summary without any emotion and I sniff back
mucous. "It is chaos down there."

"Fuck." Mel succinctly says. She puts her hand on my knee and squeezes it
and her eyes meet mine. "Take a deep breath and think of good times. Well,
anything besides this for the time being. I will get us out of here. Shit!"
She presses the ignition button and Austin taps my shoulder and reaches
forward and hands me my phone and a bottle of water. I remember that I
dropped the phone earlier and I take both the phone and the bottle of water
from him and express my thanks. Mel sticks her head out the window and
begins to shout at the car both in front of us and then at the one behind
us as she manoeuvres the Cayenne around. After what seems like a thousand
back and forth jerks, she forces the car up the kerb and drives over the
grass that provides a boundary between St Kilda Road and the footpath. She
begins driving up the walkway, blowing the horn at pedestrians who shout
obscenities and flail their arms as they quickly dart out of the way. It
isn't long before the car makes a loud thud down after dropping off of the
kerb and onto a cul-de-sac which terminated before St Kilda Road. Liberated
from traffic hell, Mel accelerates along the residential street. "I assume
to know the reason there is no school today. What do you know about Jayden?
She quickly glances at me and turns off the radio.

"After what we saw, believe me, nobody is in the mood to go." I massage the
side of my head after taking a drink of water. Austin begins to speak to
his mother on the phone as I form at first the words and then the sentences
in my head that I can use to educate Mel, but then I resign to the fact I
don't know the answer. "Nobody knows how Jayden is. I assume he is alive
though." Working my way backwards from the worst possible outcome gives me
strength to take on the next second of my life and then I quickly turn
around. "Hey, what did you two idiots see? Can you please tell us the
details please?"

Christopher turns to look at Malcolm while Austin ends a tense call with
his mother. Malcolm stops sorting through his backpack and begins to speak
measuredly. "I really don't know much. I had gotten off the tram and was
waiting to meet Chris. I never dawdle on the tram platform and was waiting
across the street for him. I vaguely remember being annoyed that I could
hear the ambulance siren blaring over the music playing in my headset and I
turned the volume up on my phone as loud as it could go. I heard some loud
crashing sounds and when I looked up, the first thing I saw was the
ambulance sliding on its side down the street and then what just sounded
like-" Malcolm pauses. "Just a loud smash. I saw that blue car flipping up
and over and onto the tram platform and the most disturbing sounds that I
have ever heard in my life." Malcolm looks out the window before
continuing. "The sounds of people screaming, but not out of shock but in
pain and anguish."

Austin is the first to ask the obvious question. "Did you see what happened
to Jayden? Did you see what happened to anyone else for that matter?" Mel
pulls over and joins us patiently waiting for Malcolm to continue and
watches him in the rear-view mirror.

Malcolm begins to weep and puts his arm over his eyes and we wait for him
to calm down which seems to take a century. He finally continues but does
not make eye contact with anyone. "With all of this playing out, I froze. I
didn't know what the hell to do. To me it seemed like a bunch of people
were advancing toward the accident scene, replacing those that fled. There
were so many people helping out, I just stood on the outside of it all
watching, stunned, not knowing whether I should help or run. I was in
shock. I didn't know what to do."

"But what about Jayden? Did you see him?" I raise my voice and swat at
Malcolm's leg, which brings him out of his self-inflicted trance.

"It was only a few minutes before another ambulance turned up. Then the
fire department. It was then I first saw Jayden and paramedics were putting
him on a gurney and he was screaming his arse off. Screaming at such a high
pitch that it sounded shrill." Malcolm begins to chew on his lip and
Christopher looks towards Austin and then out the window and wipes his
eyes.

Austin reaches over and puts his hand on Malcolm's knee. "It is okay
mate. There is nothing that you could have done."

"Bullshit!" I shout.

"Chez, just calm down." Mel puts her hand on my shoulder and then raises
her voice. "Chezdon!" I turn around and look at the road and cross my
arms. Mel turns around to face Malcolm. "What else did you see Malcolm?"

I take a deep breath that coincides with Malcolm continues his tale. "The
fire department broke the woman out of the car that hit the tram stop and
the paramedics worked on some others that were in the area. I was just
stunned. This is when I called you. It was just chaos. People were
screaming and crying, but what will haunt me for the rest of my life is the
shrill scream that I heard Jayden make as he was put into the ambulance."

I lower my head and tap both of my feed repeatedly on the floor. I feel a
piercing hate for Malcolm for not running to help Jayden but then reality
sets in and it hits me like a ton of bricks. He couldn't have done anything
for Jayden or anyone for that matter. Who really knows how to act during a
disaster when they have never trained for one or experienced one. Some
people fight and others flee. Malcolm just watched it like a movie. "There
was blood everywhere." Malcolm finally offers and then begins to cry
again. Austin again pats Malcolm on the knee repeatedly and offers
assurances whilst Christopher makes eye contact with me. He shrugs his
shoulders and looks at me in an apologetic way even though he has nothing
to apologise for. Nobody has anything to apologise for.

"This is shocking. I really don't know what to say, but whatever I can do
to help, I will." Mel looks at me and smiles as she accelerates once again
down the residential street. "I am sorry I need to go to court, I am really
sorry. Court is not forgiving as your school, but I will not be long. Can I
drop you near home? Will you be okay? I promise to be back as soon as I
can." Mel gives me a concerned glance every second or so as she tries to
focus on the road ahead.

"Yeah, that is cool. We will be fine." I find Jayden's contact card and
ring his phone. I place the device next to my ear and listen to it ring and
then divert to his voice mail and then hang up. I turn around again to
glare at Austin and pause to consider the tint of his cow-like brown
eyes. They are so calming and they suck a certain amount of anxiety from my
being before setting my gaze on Christopher and finally Malcolm. "Hey, this
is Mel, by the way." I slap Malcolm's knee a few times and smile at him.

Mel looks into the rear-view mirror and offers a quick, "hello" and offers
a nod of her head before quickly braking for a red light and allowing an
elderly woman on a walking frame to cross the street.

After enjoying a few seconds of much needed silence, Austin offers a morbid
fact to everyone in the car. "Just to add to the horrible day, the bloke
that Chezdon's mother is seeing is dead." After a few additional seconds of
silence after the revelation about Shaun, he continues. "Just sayin'."

"Wait, what?" Mel blurts out as she accelerates when the traffic light
turns green. I clench my lips together after being invited to focus on my
sore arsehole. It is at the forefront of my physical misery and supersedes
anything the rest of my body, including the pain my foot can currently
offer up.

"We need to ring the hospital or something, don't you think?" Malcolm says
meekly.

I start to massage my head hoping to relieve the throbbing pain and
consider asking Austin for one of the pills that I handed to him
earlier. "This isn't an episode of fucking Grey's Anatomy mate. We will
hear about Jayden when we do." I need to stay strong. My best friend was
hit by a car. The professionals at The Alfred will take care of him and
whatever outcome will not be bettered by us hassling the hospital. "Mel
summed it up. We need to think of good times."

Mel accelerates and runs a traffic light that had turned from yellow to
red. She pulls the Cayman into a bicycle lane near the St Kilda bridge that
spans the Yarra river. "What is this about Shaun O'Connor? He is dead?
Austin, what do you mean?" Mel puts the SUV in park and turns her body to
face Austin. "Austin?"

Austin shrugs his shoulders. "It was on the news this morning. He hit a
kangaroo whilst driving out in the middle of nowhere it seems. He is dead."

"Oh fuck." Mel looks at me. "You know who he is right?"

Having experienced my emotional limit for the day already, I take a deep
breath and consider an appropriate answer. "A cunt." A genuine smile forms
on my face and Mel looks mortified.

"Chezdon, Jesus!" Mel looks at her watch. "Can I leave you here? I will be
late for court if I don't go there soon." We are near the tram stop where I
disembarked yesterday with Brody. I consider calling him and telling him
about what happened to his lover. Maybe later when I actually know what is
going on.

"Yeah sure." I throw open the car door and am startled when a bicycle rider
suddenly evades it, screams an obscenity and then turns around and raises
his middle finger towards me. I quickly hop out of the Cayenne and on to
the foot that does not feel like knives are being inserted into
it. "Arsehole! Fuck you!" I shout as loudly as I can and raise my middle
finger toward the lycra-clad road warrior. Mel says something to me, but my
focus is on the cyclist who has stopped in front of us in the nominated
bicycle lane ahead of just before the bridge. I repeat my shout of
indignation, screaming the words so they can barely be understood. "Fuck
you!" and outstretch my arms and begin to hobble towards the cyclist. I
hear my name being called repeatedly and then the slamming of the car
doors. For a mere moment, my death stare moves to my friends who have
gotten out of the SUV.

It is then that I realise that Mel is screaming my name with a heightened
sense of authority. "Chezdon!" I turn around to see her standing next to
the SUV with her arms crossed glaring at me. Her eyes are as wide and
bright as the sun and at first looks as if lasers are going to fire at
me. "Get your shit together! Get your arse over here now!" My friends watch
me first spit in the direction of the cyclist, who either feels outnumbered
or just doesn't want to take on a feral teenager and rides off.

I walk around the Cayenne and towards Mel who doesn't take her eyes away
from mine. When I am close to her, I am surprised when she quickly reaches
out and grabs me by my forearm. She forcefully leads me down the bicycle
path away from the vehicle and far enough away from the passengers that all
have concerned looks on their faces. "Ouch!" I squeal and shake Mel's hand
off my arm and begin to rub it.

Mel places her hands on my shoulders gently and begins what I assume to be
a lecture. "Mate, you need to get your shit together. I am really concerned
about you and how you are dealing with everything that is happening."
Suddenly I lose interest in the few leaves and the spent cigarette butt in
the gutter and look up and once again see Mel intently staring at me. Our
eyes meet and she then continues. "I am not here to judge you, punish you,
berate you or make you feel like shit. I want to help you, just let me help
you." I briefly return my eyes to examining what is in the gutter however
Mel gently shakes me and gets my undivided attention once again. "You may
be sixteen but you have some really big adult problems on your plate right
now. I get it. I am not going to claim to know everything that is going on
with you and this situation with Jayden I suspect is only the tip of the
iceberg, but you really need to focus. Focus on what is good in your life
right now and devise a plan to resolve these issues that you have going on
or else the drama and angst is going to destroy everything good that you
have built in the last three years. Can you acknowledge that you understand
me?" Mel shakes me back and forth again.

I take a deep breath and expel is slowly, feeling my lungs deflate, like it
is the first time that I have ever paid attention to the act of
breathing. "I heard you. I understand."

Mel shakes me by the shoulders again. "I don't need to humiliate you by
having a talk about drugs or even sex do I?"

I meekly say, "no" and continue to look Mel in her eyes. She has noticeably
calmed down.

"Look, what I want you to do is go home. I really need to go to court. One
of our honourable members of the state government found himself in jail
last night and I need to be at this hearing. I will be back at Eureka as
soon as I can. We can talk more if you want when I get back. If you don't
want to, that is fine. Just remember I am much older and uglier than you
and I have plenty of life experience dealing with shit and shitty
people. You can trust me as a friend above anything else Chezdon. Just
treat me as one and let me in from time to time." Mel gently shakes me
again and I smile genuinely for the first time since leaving home earlier
today.

"I might take Austin and those other boys with me if that is okay with
you. It would be good to just hang out whilst we wait for news about
Jayden." I bite at my lower lip after asking the question, hoping she
doesn't care if I take my friends and lover home with me to bide the time.

"Yeah that is fine." Mel looks over at her shoulder and sees Austin,
Christopher and Malcolm quickly turn their heads and take a sudden interest
in the buildings not far from us. "I will be back as soon as possible, but
as you can see, we all have our crosses to bear. This bloke that I am
representing will be carrying his own cross to his crucifixion, but just
remember you have me, Daniel and of course your friends. You are not alone
to deal with your angst and issues, just remember that." Mel slowly takes
her hands off my shoulders and briefly looks at her phone. "Shit, I really
need to go. Are you okay, really?"

I nod. "Yeah, I will be fine. We all will be fine."

Mel quickly starts walking back towards the Cayenne and I follow her. "When
I am finished with court, I will ring the hospital and try to find out what
is going on with Jayden. Can you ring his mother? She might not even know
what happened." I watch my friends and lover quickly scramble and begin to
get into the car and Mel shouts, not giving me an opportunity to answer
her. "Guys, I need to leave you here sadly and go to court. Go back to our
place and relax."

Bags are quickly removed from the Cayenne and whilst doors are slammed
shut, I simply say, "no, I don't."

"No, you don't what?" Mel looks at me before she closes the car door.

"I don't have the number for Jayden's mother." I feel foolish at first but
in this era of mobile communications, who rings people on a fixed landline
and why would I ever have asked for her number anyway. "Or his father."

"Oh. Interesting. I will see what I can do. I love you Chez. Ciao." The
driver's door slams shut and Mel quickly drives over the St Kilda bridge
towards the centre of Melbourne where the buildings tower over us
ominously.

Austin hands me my bag and I again focus on what it feels like to fill my
lungs with air and expel it slowly. "Thanks. Let's go to my place." It is
more of a statement rather than a question. Austin nods and adjusts his
backpack. "Do you blokes want to come over to mine?" Christopher replies in
the affirmative which is followed by the same response by Malcolm after he
finishes yawning.

Walking across St Kilda Road once again reminds me that my foot hurts like
hell. That pain evolves into a feeling of dread as we cross the tram stop
that I alighted from yesterday with Brody in tow. Thoughts of Jayden and
Brody quickly envelop my mind. I wipe the sweat off the back of my neck
with my hand and rub it gently. Daydreaming of the recent past is
interrupted by a question from Christopher in the present. "Was that your
mum?"

I smile and outstretch my arms and continue walking towards the Southgate
shopping centre. "Soon to be stepmum actually."

"She looks familiar." Christopher mutters.

Malcolm offers up the obvious. "She looks like the red lady from Game of
Thrones. No offense man."

I chuckle. "I call her that too, she doesn't mind."

"She is pretty intense." Christopher follows as Austin walks next to
me. "Where was she off to?"

Austin answers his phone and falls back behind our group. "She is a
barrister and is going to court. Some drama with one of the government
ministers getting arrested or something."

"Where is your pad?" Malcolm asks.

I look back at Austin who is walking behind us with a finger pushed into
one year and his phone up against his other ear before answering. "Eureka
Tower" and point up towards the building.

"Sweet. I need to hang a piss bad." Malcolm calmly replies. "Do you think
we should ring the hospital when we get to your place and see what is going
on with Jayden?"

"No, Mel said she would handle that. We just need to chill out-" I am
interrupted by Austin saying my name repeatedly.

"Chezdon, hold on. I need to talk to you." Austin is no longer speaking on
his phone. I stop and wait for Austin to catch up to me whilst Malcolm and
Christopher walk into the Southgate shopping plaza leaving us behind to
chat. "I was just talking with Fergus- "

I interrupt Austin by asking, "is this about Jayden?" My eyes go wide in
anticipation of some news.

Austin begins to chew on the side of his mouth and scrunches up his nose
and takes a beat before answering. "No." Another pause before he
continues. "Fergus was just saying nudes have been posted of you online
along with the Melbourne Grammar hashtag- "

"Oh, Jesus Christ? what the fuck!" I shout incredulously. I quickly pull my
phone from my pocket and launch Twitter and search for the hashtag and find
nothing that has to do with me in the last few days. I then swipe
frantically and launch Instagram. "This has to be a joke. I have never sent
nudes to anyone."

"I haven't looked." Austin admits without expressing any emotion. "I just
thought you should know since they are getting around the school."

I sign and then gyrate my head, hearing and feeling my neck crack a few
times. I search for the hashtag and before I can even think that I will
need to scroll to find the photos in question, the first thumbnails I see
are of me asleep on a bed with my shirt open, skinny jeans pulled down and
my flaccid cock on display. "Oh fuck!" I start walking, but this time in
high dudgeon. It is then I realise that Shaun is haunting me from the
grave. These revealing photos were taken of me when I was passed out the
other night at my mother's house before he decided to have his wayward way
with me. Bad memories once again cause me to feel outrage and I feel my
back tingle as I walk into the Southbank shopping centre. Malcolm and
Christopher are sitting on a communal lounge and are typing something on
their phones. I quickly walk past them and Austin jogs up next to me,
matching my gait and not long after I hear the footfalls of the other boys
behind me.

"There is enough going on right now." Austin offers and quickly removes his
blond fringe that is covering his eye. "Don't worry about it."

I suddenly stop and Malcolm runs into the back of me, jolting me
forward. He was paying attention to his phone and not to where he was
walking. "Yes, I will worry about this now." I say calmly which shocks
Austin judging by the look on his face. "Look, someone took these when I
was passed out. Isn't it obvious?" I give my phone to Austin and he begins
tapping and swiping.

"What is going on?" Malcolm asks and then looks over Austin's shoulder. At
first I want to insist that he minds his own business but these are out for
the whole world to see so I had better make my position clear now. "Oh
shit. These are you mate. I have seen enough." Christopher then has a quick
look over Austin's shoulder and briefly locks eyes with mine.

"Someone posted these when I was passed out." I say with authority and
conviction. "I have never sent nudes in my life, I know better."

"I just reported them to Instragram." Austin claims before swiping and
tapping some more and then shows me the screen of my phone. "Any idea who
this is?"

"That won't stop people from downloading the photos and sharing them on
Snapchat." Christopher is quick to offer.

"Thanks mate. You made me feel so much better." I say wryly.

The account that shared the revealing photos of me is called
`sockittomebaby' which I assume to be Shaun's as the first three letters
coincide with his initials and it is obvious that he took them. These are
the only photos that he posted using this account which really confuses me
as to why he would bother. If he was alive, this would have caused a
shit-storm for him as I could have reported him. I turn my attention back
to Austin. "I dunno mate. Who cares really, it is just my soft cock and
chest." I try to forget the unsavoury position that I saw myself in and
again start walking through the shopping plaza in silence and quickly out
the rear entrance which offers a shortcut to Eureka Tower.

We walk in silence to my dwelling and it isn't until we pass through the
foyer inside my apartment that words are spoken and fortunately they are
pleasant this time with Malcolm and Christopher collectively making
comments about the view. I drop my bag in the living room next to one of
the windows and the others follow my lead. "Hey Austin, can you help me for
a minute? Gents, make yourself at home. Get whatever you want from the
kitchen." I point in the general direction the kitchen is located and then
limp to the guest bathroom and Austin follows me.

"Just make sure I don't fall over." I grab my injured foot and pull it up
so my leg rests on the basin and my shoe dangles over the drain. I untie
the black leather shoe at the same time Austin puts his hands on my
thighs. I pull the shoe off and hand it to Austin and then slowly peel the
sock off my foot. It is saturated in blood. I shove it in my shoe that
Austin conveniently holds out after gasping and I begin to unwrap the
blood-soaked elastic bandage slowly.

"Fuck me." Austin simply says.

"Do we have time?" Austin sees me smile in the reflection of the mirror,
which makes him smile. It is quickly turned upside down though when I wince
in pain as the bandage and the dried blood begins to pull at the bottom of
my foot as I get closer to exposing the wound. "Goddamn, I will always
remember my first time with you."

Austin smiles and I turn on the tap and warm water begins to quickly flow
into the basin. "Give me that." Austin tries to take the blood-soaked
elastic bandage from me and I jerk it away quickly.

"Just hand me the shoe again mate." Austin heeds my request and I shove the
elastic bandage into my shoe, pushing my sock further up into the cavity in
the process. The warm water begins to cleanse the wound. I hand the shoe to
Austin and he places it on top of the toilet seat.

Malcolm appears in the doorway. "Mind if we have some of this?" He holds up
a bottle of vodka. "I think we all need a shot after what has happened
today. Where can I piss?"

"Jesus mate, what is wrong with you?" Austin squeals. "It isn't even 9:00
AM."

"Well, it is night time somewhere in the world." Malcolm smiles. "Is it
cool Chez?"

"Hand me the bottle." Malcolm complies. I open it and poor some of the
vodka on my foot and when mixed with the flowing warm water at first causes
excruciating pain which makes me yelp, but the discomfort quickly
subsides. I take a swig of vodka from the bottle and after my throat stops
burning I make a toast and hold up the bottle. "To Jayden." I hand the
bottle back to Malcolm. "Just keep following the hall, you will find my
room. Use the toilet in there."

"What the hell happened to you?" Malcolm finally asks as I open the cabinet
door above the sink and start to examine its contents. "To Jayden." Malcolm
then proclaims and sighs loudly after he takes a drink from the bottle. I
grab the remaining elastic bandage from the cabinet and close the door just
in time to see Austin take the bottle of vodka from Malcolm.

"To Jayden." Austin contributes and is the third to down a mouthful of
vodka at the early hour. He hands the bottle back to Malcolm again and
places his hands on my thighs as I begin to wrap my foot up again.

"Stepped on glass. It is a long and uninteresting story really."

"Fuck, it looks like it hurt." Malcolm takes another drink from the bottle
of vodka. Christopher appears in the doorway next to Malcolm and is handed
the bottle.

"Oh, no thanks mate." Christopher pushes the bottle back towards Malcolm
and I finish wrapping my foot. Malcolm decides that Christopher's loss is
his gain so takes another drink from the bottle and after swallowing the
vodka, sighs loudly, licks his lips and then walks towards my room.

I pull my foot out of the basin and Austin lets go of me. I place my toes
on the tiles, this time being careful not to walk on the bandaged
wound. Running on it earlier obviously did not assist it healing. I swat
the shoe and its bloody contents onto the floor next to the wall and sit on
the toilet seat. I begin to untie my other shoe when I ask an apt
question. "Why are you hanging out here and watching me? Go out to the
lounge and relax for Christ's sake." Christopher gest the hint and walks
off leaving Austin staring at me with his arms crossed.

"Should we talk about those nudes now or later? Any idea who took them?" I
drop my shoe in between the toilet and the wall and peel off my sock. "You
don't have much luck on your side right now Chez."

I toss my sock on the floor next to my footwear. "At least I wasn't hit by
a car today. I consider myself very lucky." I quickly stand up and peck
Austin on the lips and then wrap my arms around him. I bury my nose into
his neck, filling my lungs slowly with his scent as I pull him close and
squeeze him tight.

Austin quickly breaks my embrace. "That is enough, not now." He walks back
into the living room and I follow, walking daintily on my toes feeling a
bit perturbed that Austin wouldn't allow me to give him a few seconds of
affection and bask a moment reflecting on our good fortune in life. Only
seconds later Malcolm returns.

As soon as Malcolm sees me enter the living room he raises the bottle of
vodka in my direction. "Want some more Chezzy?" I roll my eyes before
picking up the integrated Logitech remote control and activate all the
electronics at the same time. Sky News quickly starts broadcasting however
with no sound. Mel must have this on in the background whilst she drank
coffee and read the newspaper earlier.

"Chezzy?" I chuckle. "Nobody has called me that for years. In fact, it was
my nickname when I was living in Sydney. It never stuck here though." I
take the bottle from Malcolm at the same time Austin returns with his bag,
drops it next to the lounge and then walks presumably to my room. I take
the bottle and place it carefully on top of the newspaper. Christopher
points at the television and I turn around to see what is happening. Sky is
broadcasting footage from the helicopter that was taken earlier. I unmute
the sound.

"...we still have no word on the condition of the victims..." I have heard
enough and quickly swipe at the remote control and randomly choose a
different channel. Someone driving a golf ball on Donald Trump's resort in
Scotland appears.

"Awesome!" Christopher shouts. "Leave it here!" I am happy to comply as I
have seen enough reality play out for the day and after looking at the time
displayed on the remote control, I am shocked that even the news outlet
does not have an update on the so-called victims yet.

Assuming Austin went to the toilet, I begin to scavenge through his
bag. Malcolm and Christopher continue to watch the golf and it takes
seconds for me to find the box of Oxycontin that I passed to him earlier. I
quickly liberate two of the pills from their enclosed foil cells and shove
the box back into Austin's bag. "Hand me that." I point at the bottle of
vodka. Malcolm reaches over, grabs the bottle and hands it to me. With one
deft movement, the pills enter my mouth and at some point, as my head moves
back the lip of the bottle finds my mouth and I take a swig of the awful
tasting alcohol that was distilled from potatoes. I nearly cough and spit
the pills back out.

"Have a headache, do we?" Malcolm says wryly before taking the bottle back
from me.

"You could say that. My foot hurts like hell too." I look out the window
and watch a helicopter pass by the building before noticing Austin move
into the periphery of the room. "Do you want some wine Austin?"

"You have to be kidding me. It is barely 9:00 AM." Austin begins to rummage
through his bag and removes a charger for his phone.

"Well I am going to have some wine. We should have some fun since Jayden
can't." I walk on my toes quickly to the kitchen and then take requests by
raising my voice. "Chris, what are you drinking?"

"Beer would be great!" Chris shouts and then seconds later appears in the
kitchen and watches me look in the refrigerator. A can of Tecate beer is
then opened before I liberate a bottle of red wine and unscrew the
cap. Austin appears in the kitchen and proclaims that I am crazy before
getting glasses out of the cupboard. I follow him to the living room and
start pouring wine into the glasses.

"I have only had wine once before." Malcolm admits before sipping at the
contents in his glass.

"Can I have another one?" Chris has drank the can of beer in a matter of
seconds, long before the first drop of wine from my glass has even entered
my mouth.

"Sure mate, help yourself." I happily share the spoils of my family's stash
of alcohol and the mood in the flat quickly turns from a sullen one to
certainly one more lively. The party atmosphere is especially felt when
someone changes the ongoing coverage of the golf to a channel that plays
music videos whilst I am in the kitchen pouring more wine. The volume is
turned up, Austin and I drink even more wine. Chris continues to annihilate
one can after another of Mexican beer in quick succession. Malcolm returns
to making out with his old friend, the bottle of vodka.

"Holy shit!" Austin shouts after reading a message on his phone and quickly
unplugs it from the charger. "Fuck." The colour disappears from his face.

"What is it?" Christopher queries. "Chezzy's nudes?"

"Shut up. Chezdon, put on Channel Seven. Hurry!" Austin demands and quickly
passes the integrated remote control to me. I take a drink and swallow
before swiping at the remote and issuing the command to change the
television station. When it does, a ticker announcing `Breaking News'
appears at the bottom of the screen and continues with aerial coverage of
the accident scene on St Kilda Road. It is being broadcast live from the
Channel Seven helicopter. Words then appear at the bottom of the television
screen.

Pedestrian Killed, Man was waiting for a tram when hit.

"Jesus!" I am at a loss for words as footage is broadcast live of the
damaged ambulance, the blue car that hit the tram stop, a fire engine and
two ambulances. Feeling faint, I sit down and drop my head and
mutter. "Malcolm, it said a man has died. It can't be Jayden. You must have
seen some bloke get hit, didn't you?"

"I really don't remember." I look up at Malcolm and he looks stunned. "I
honestly don't remember. I remember Jayden and two women."

Austin is quick to interject. "You said a girl was hit, try to remember."

"Goddamn it Malcolm!" I yell and then shake my head. "If you weren't such a
coward and actually went to the scene to help these people you would
fucking know."

Christopher places the can of beer gently down on the glass table. "Just
calm down Chezdon, no reason to get nasty."

"Well, fuck." I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes again and quickly
wipe at them with my hand. "I don't know if my best mate is alive or dead
and you don't want me to say hurtful things? Jesus Christ!" I reach for the
glass of wine and quickly drink what remains in the glass.

Austin stops chewing on his fingernail. "It certainly had to be an adult
who died. You know the news, they sensationalise it when a kid is
killed. Jayden certain doesn't look like an adult and they would have
either got the information from the hospital, or even someone has died at
the scene that never got to the hospital." Austin slides over and wraps his
arm around me. "It can't be Jayden. Just think positively. Malcolm saw him
being taken to the hospital."

"Yeah, I suppose. Still this is fucking unnerving." I look over to Malcolm
who looks mortified. "Sorry mate. I didn't mean to abuse you."

Malcolm picks up the bottle of vodka and takes a drink of it, winces, and
then takes another slurp from the bottle. "It is fine mate. You didn't say
anything that isn't true. Let's just not talk about it."

"I will get some more wine." Austin takes both his glass and mine and walks
into the kitchen. I command the television to begin to play the music
videos again and attempt to forget what I just saw play out on Channel
Seven. Austin quickly returns and hands me the crystal wine glass and I
drink from it greedily and put my feet up on the table.

The front door slams and I quickly take my feet off the table and look
around. "Oh shit. Mel is back. Shit." I didn't expect her to be done at
court so quickly and panic knowing that when she sees us drinking at such
an early hour that it will not bode well for any of us, especially me.

With my friends and lover essentially frozen at a point in time and not
moving a muscle, my father quickly walks into the living room and begins
shouting at a volume that I haven't heard him achieve in over three years
since my mother fled this same apartment. "What the fuck Chezdon! What the
absolute fuck!" I can barely manage to open my mouth before he continues to
shout. "How fucked up is this? You decide to party instead of going to
school?" He takes five steps closer to me and smacks the wine glass that I
am holding with the back of his hand, which shatters the glass and wine
splatters in all directions. "What the fuck Chezdon!" He yells again.

Malcolm slowly stands up and places the bottle of vodka on the table
however my father quickly points at him. "You sit the fuck down." Then
points at Chris. "Put that fucking beer down." Austin quickly sets his
glass of wine on the table and my father turns his attention to him. "No,
you can drink up Austin. Be my guest!"

Confused and frightened as my father hovers in my personal space, I notice
the back of his hand bleeding, lacerated from the glass that he smacked
from my hand. "Dad, you are bleeding."

Daniel looks at the back of his hand, raises it up to look at it and simply
utters the word "fuck" before bringing the back of his bleeding hand
quickly and forcefully back against the side of my face, which causes me to
shuffle in terror into the side of Austin. Again, Malcolm stands up. "Sit
the fuck down!" My father shouts at him again. As I watch Malcolm comply, I
feel the side of my face which is stinging and am shocked to find blood on
my own hand that I wipe from my face. I don't know if it is mine or my
father's but remain on high alert expecting him to try to hit me again.

"Dad- "Is the only word I can say before he tries to hit my face again, but
I block his trust and he ends up hitting my wrist. "Shit!" I yell and
quickly stand up and push Daniel back. "So, this is what it has come to?" I
rub the side of my face that he previously hit. "Beating up your soon to be
wife and now your son. You are pathetic."

Malcolm once again stands up and this time doesn't abide by my father's
command to sit down. I will be forever grateful knowing that he got in the
way of him advancing toward me again with his hand clenched and pushes
Daniel back before he can attempt to hit me again. I begin to tremble not
knowing what to say or do, I have no idea how to diffuse this situation and
my father's violent outburst. "You know what is fucking pathetic?" My
father lowers his voice. "I really don't care that the bitch next door rang
me to say you were here having a party. Why should I give a fuck?" He
begins to massage the back of his bleeding hand. "I really don't care that
you are not in school. It isn't like I am poor and last I saw, money grows
on trees, so I will keep paying. Who cares?" Austin stands up and
Christopher follows his lead. The four teenagers in the room all hang on my
father's every word as he continues his rant as he takes a step forward and
eyeballs Malcolm. "What I do care about is that my only fucking son is so
cuntstruck that he gives away my money." My confusion of the ranting
lunatic adding a suffix to one of the obscenest words in the dictionary,
not only distracts me but the other teenagers as we look at one another in
shock. "That is right, I talked to the bitch that gave birth to you and she
told me what you did." Perhaps he has run out of steam or is just pausing
for dramatic effect before saying his next words, he slowly walks around
the glass table and grabs the neck of the vodka bottle and holds it at his
side. "You gave all her assets to the McGuire's hey? Well, Mel will no
doubt sort that out when she hears about it." I once again feel the side of
my face and Austin puts his hand on my shoulder. "That is right Austin!"
Daniel once again starts yelling. "You can have whatever you want. Drink my
fucking wine, take my ex-wife's house. You must be fucking amazing in bed
to make my son so cuntstruck." Again, he utters the bizarre word and it
sounds sickening.

Not knowing how to respond or even what to do, I keep my mouth
shut. Everyone follows suit including my father which is unnerving. I
assume he is waiting for me to say something and we collectively watch him
gently swing the bottle of vodka by its neck by his side. It is then I
realise that the bandage on his neck has a spot of blood on it. Whether it
is splatter from the cut on his hand or from where he had the skin cancer
removed is unknown however briefly contemplating his mortality, that of my
mother's and even Jayden's in a matter of seconds in turn sets me off and I
begin to calmly speak whilst my phone vibrates in my back pocket. "You want
to know why I gave Kevin McGuire that power of attorney document?" I look
at Austin and then back at my father who has his head cocked to the side
but inclined down, which makes him appear more menacing as he looks up at
me without moving his head. "It wasn't some kind gesture because I am
cuntstuck, whatever that means. It was because I know that you are behind
their home invasion and I am ashamed of you."

Daniel quickly swings the bottle of vodka across his body and in
anticipation of him throwing it, Malcolm sprints forward and shoves
him. Daniel falls onto the ground. Malcolm isn't such a coward after
all. After quickly getting back on his feet Daniel points at Malcolm and
simply says, "stay away from me" and continues to retreat. He cocks his
head once again slightly to the right and down and this time looks up
menacing up at Austin. "You are goddamned right I did and don't you fucking
forget it." Feeling lightheaded, half-drunk and numb, I watch my father
wipe his bloodied hand on his shirt, turn around and walk from the living
room. Seconds later the front door slams shut.

Everyone starts talking at the same time like it was choreographed. We
collectively collapse on the lounge simultaneously. "This is too intense
for me mate. I am out of here. Sorry." Christopher grabs the can of beer
and I can see his arm and hand shaking as he quickly consumes the last of
the alcoholic beverage and sets the empty can gently on the coffee
table. "Sorry, mate." He walks toward where he dropped his bag near the
window earlier, grabs it and then walks toward the front door. The three of
us sit in silence for many minutes looking at our feet before we hear Chris
open the door and leave, shutting it behind him gently. It is obvious he
did not want another encounter with Daniel Morrison and wanted to make sure
he didn't meet his acquaintance yet again at the elevator.

I remember to breath and for the first time see the broken glass on both
the table and the carpet. The carpet is stained by what little wine was
left in my glass when the maniac hit the vessel out of my hand. As quickly
as I sat, I stand up and walk toward the bathroom and inspect my
face. Austin and Malcolm start mumbling as I walk away and out of sight and
for one of the first times in my life I really don't care what anyone is
saying about me or even my dysfunctional family.

In the guest bathroom, I use a towel to first wipe the blood that my father
left on my cheek and then scrub the remaining drops on my shirt but they do
not disappear. What do I now? What do I say to Austin? Feeling lightheaded,
hot, itchy and parched, I toss the towel on the floor on top of my shoes
and briefly think about giving Jayden a blowjob in this same room earlier
in the week. I begin to choke up and tears once again start pouring from my
eyes. I pick up the towel from the floor and hold it against my eyes, take
two deep breaths and then blow my nose into it. I will myself regain my
composure and extract my phone from my rear pocket. I begin to read
messages, ignoring most sent by my peers from school and find one from Mel,
including a notification of a missed call from her. She was the one ringing
me whilst my father was going berserk and I quickly revert to her text
message.

Mel: You may want to get out of the apartment, your father is coming back
and he is pissed off. He knows you are there. Something about a power of
attorney and the McGuire's. Speak later. X

Out of habit, I ring my voice mail box as I want to hear what Mel had to
say after sending the text message. I only wish I was paying attention to
my phone earlier as the drama could have been averted at least until later
today. As soon as I hold the phone to my ear, the robotic voice announces
that I have two new messages. My legs turn to jelly when I first hear
Jayden's familiar voice speaking. "Chez, I am hoping we can talk and we can
put all of this shit behind us. I assume you will be taking the tram to
school today, so I will meet you at the usual tram stop by school. Let me
know if you driving in. Cya."

*********** A/N - It has been a long time between drinks for Chez hasn't
it? I have been travelling and stuff, but rest assured, Chapter 27 is being
written right now. Only a few more chapters to go until this is finished
and then I can start on my next one!

Check out my blog/site for the latest updates on Innocence Waning. If you
want a discount code for the latest digital download so you can read the
whole thing on your phone, tablet, etc. just e-mail me and I will send you
a code so you can get it FREE. It is the least I can do to say thanks to
all of my Nifty followers that have been with me for two years. (of course
if you want to pay for it, I wouldn't complain, that or contribute to the
GoFundMe campaign)

http://innocence-waning.blogspot.com
chezdon1997@gmail.com