It Happened So ...
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Chapter 69
On the way home Hennie questioned Lionel further for more detail on what his prefect was doing to and with him and some of the stories that came out were worse than what he had already told me. In fact as I sit here writing this account all those years on from the time he told us this, I still get tears in my eyes for him. The poor guy was suffering terribly at the hands of his senior and he was powerless to do anything about it without risking further and worse treatment than he was already getting. As Lionel spoke I could see Hennie's grip on the steering wheel getting stronger and stronger as his anger made him tense up. The language that he was using also got worse the angrier he became as he learned just how much his son had suffered. I think the prefect concerned could be really glad that he was not around at this very moment because I think Hennie might have taken great pleasure in dismembering his body joint by joint starting with the fingers and toes while he was still alive.
When we arrived back at the homestead, Hennie went
straight to see ma to ask for some time off so that he could go to the school
and speak to the headmaster. Moira saw the expression on her husband's face and
came over to us to ask what the problem was. Lionel told his ma that he was being
bullied at school and that his pa was very angry about it and that he was
worried his pa was going to make trouble at the school and this would cause
more problems for him. Moira told Lionel not to worry because she knew Hennie
and she would make sure that he was calm and thought his actions through before
he did anything more. Lionel was not that reassured by his mother and so
continued to worry and I tried to comfort him as much as I could. When Hennie
came out from speaking with ma, Moira went straight to him and he pulled her
into a hug and said something to her which I could not hear then with his arm
around her shoulders he came over to talk to Lionel. "Son, I am going to ask
you something now and before you even know what it is I want you to know that
whatever your answer is, we will respect that and not ask anything more of you
in this matter unless it is necessary. This boy who is bullying you needs to be
stopped but I know that if we go in there on the first day back at school it
will be obvious to everyone that you have talked about what is happening and
you will be seen as a grass. So what I want to propose and this is where you
can say yes or no and whatever your answer is, that is what we will settle for.
What I want to suggest is that when you go back to school you carry on with
this prefect as if there has been nothing said and I am going to ask the
headmaster to put out spies to catch him in the act and make it look like that
is how they have found out about the bullying. It does mean that you might have
to suffer for at least a few days more, possibly a bit longer, but then after
that the boy should be expelled and you will be released from it without losing
face amongst your friends. What do you think?"
"I think I need to think. Can I go and get a shower and let you know after we
have eaten please?" Lionel answered.
"Of course, that is a very wise way to approach it. You make me very proud."
Hennie answered and I took Lionel's hand and led him away to the house and to a
joint shower.
Once we were in the shower and the water was helping to
muffle our voices I said, "Your pa is very clever. He thought that up so
quickly and I think it is the best way to get rid of that bastard who is being
so fucking mean to you."
"I know, but I am still a bit scared that somehow it will get out that I talked
to my pa." Lionel said.
"The only way it can get out is if you tell someone or if the headmaster tells
someone. No one else will know that you have talked. And if anyone suggests
that you did you can ask them that if it were true how come nothing was done
before the start of the term. Why did you have to suffer more if they knew?" I
reasoned with him. "Lionel, I really think you should trust your pa with this
one."
Lionel pulled me into a hug under the spray of water and kissed me on the lips.
"Thank you PP, you really are a cool guy for a honkie." And he kissed me some
more before I could retort. At least it got a smile back on his face which had
been missing since he began telling me while we lay there naked in the back of
the backie. When we got out of the shower we dried and dressed and then Lionel
said, "You know this is the first shower we have had where we did not at least
get hard and play with each other."
I was quite shocked as I took that truth in and then said, "But there was
something more important that needed our attention this time. We are friends
first and sex buddies second. That is how we started and that is how we will go
on."
Little did I know just how true that would prove to be.
When ma and I were sitting at the table for our evening
meal ma asked me about the problem and I just said that I did not feel that I
could share details but Lionel was being very poorly treated by his senior at
school and Hennie was very cross about it. Ma realised that it would be unfair
for her to probe any further and she just said, "Having it come out will make
it hard for Lionel for a little while and he will need your support to help him
get through it."
"And he will have it because that is what friends do." I answered.
"Are you sure you are just friends?" Ma asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked in return.
"I mean are you his friend or his boyfriend?" Ma expanded.
"Ah ... um ... I ... I'm not sure." I stammered out. Ma had taken me by surprise. I
had not thought of us being boyfriends in the sense ma was asking but now that
the idea had been planted in my head it was rapidly taking root and growing.
"Pieter, listen to me now, I know that you and Willem did some stuff together
and that you had a special feeling for him, but I believe that was because of
the circumstances that brought you two together so suddenly. Willem was very
good to you when pa was killed it was only natural that you should have special
feelings towards one who helped you through some of the worst parts of it. But
when Lionel arrived with his parents that very first day I saw something
between the two of you that I have never seen in my life before. I can't really
describe it, but there was something there right from the very first moment. It
happened so naturally that I now know there was nothing I could ever have done
to stop it. Not that I would have anyway. Pieter, I believe that you are in
love with Lionel and he is in love with you just like a husband and wife love
each other. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that at all. But it is
something that needs to be taken care of. It might have happened so naturally,
but the long term longevity of it requires more than nature. I can only advise
you and I want you to know that if ever you need to talk about something I am
here to listen. I can't say I will understand all that is happening in your
life, but I can listen and tell you what I think."
"Thanks ma. Do you really think we are in love like a boyfriend and
girlfriend?" I asked.
"In a sense yes, but also no. I think you are in love
like a boyfriend and a boyfriend. That might be similar to a boy girl love; but
not the same." Ma said.
Lionel interrupted our conversation by barging in. "Pa
says I have to go with him tomorrow in case the head wants to ask me something
and so that he can see that I am telling the truth. So you will have to do the
work on the farm alone tomorrow."
This told me that I was not invited to go along with them and ma could see the
disappointment that I had not expressed.
"Pieter, it would look very strange if a coloured man arrived at a coloured
school with a white boy in the car. The headmaster might think that the
coloured man is just a trouble maker and not take him seriously so it is best
that Hennie and Lionel go alone." Ma displayed her wisdom that taught me that I
could look to her for help when I needed it.
"We are leaving very early tomorrow morning so pa has said I need to get to bed
early tonight and no hankie-pankie." And Lionel burst
out laughing. I think we were both coming to realise that it was a relief to be
out to our parents and have their acceptance of us as we were.
Ma also chuckled over Lionel's little statement and then asked what time he needed
to be ready for his father the following morning. I knew she would make sure
that he was ready for his father at the appointed hour.
So it was that we went to bed without doing anything more than giving each
other a kiss and a cuddle and then we lay side by side in the beds holding
hands.
"Ma says she thinks we are more than just friends. She thinks we are
boyfriends." I whispered in the darkness of the room.
"What do you think?" Lionel asked back.
"I don't know. I've never had a boyfriend like that before. But I like us like
this. What do you think?" I responded.
"Ma asked me if there was a funny feeling in my tummy when I see you. And when
I said yes, she just said, well that is either fear or love. I know you are not
afraid of him so it must be love. And that is all she said." Lionel said and
then added, "So I guess they are right."
"I guess they are." I concurred. "I do love you Lionel." There I had said it
and it had not reared a big ugly head to bite my own head off.
"If this is love, then I love you and don't want it to end." Lionel said.
With that we both fell into a pleasant silence from which we drifted off to
sleep until the next morning.
We were prevented from alleviating each other's sexual needs because we did not
wake up early enough as Hennie wanted to leave the farm before six in the
morning to give them enough time to travel to the school, carry out what needed
to be done there, and return before nightfall. We got woken up as the sun was
rising and Lionel had to get on and do his ablutions and dress in his school
uniform, which he hated, in fairly quick time. As a result I too got up and got
dressed in my signature shorts and t shirt which made Lionel even more upset
that he had to wear his uniform, but I encouraged him that at least it would
show good form to the headmaster.
Ma was also up and we all breakfasted together on cereal and hot coffee before
Hennie and Lionel set off. Hennie at
least looked a lot more in control of himself than he had the previous day and
I hoped for Lionel's sake that he would be able to keep control of himself at
the school.
The day seemed to go a lot slower without Lionel to
accompany me as I did the chores ma set me to do on the farm. Ma appointed Dingaan to work with me as Oom Jakob and Willie were busy elsewhere and Stephan was not
going to get to us until after lunch for some reason. I think Stephan was
really just coming to pick Willie up and if that had not been a reason to come
he would not have as his other business meant that he arrived too late to do any
meaningful work on the farm for the day.
When I went outside after breakfast to see Lionel and Hennie off, Dingaan was already waiting for me and we headed off to the
tractor shed as the first chore was to take the trailer to where the workers
were cutting thatching grass and get it filled again as the women doing the
combing had nearly finished the grass they had. This would ensure they had
enough work for the next few days and the thatchers would not run out of the
little bundles the women were making up. This time it was Dingaan
who drove the tractor and I was sitting up on the mudguard next to him so there
were no bare feet making little forays into anyone's shorts. Most of the
thatching grass was being harvested from the vleis[i] that got flooded each year
when the river broke its banks in the rainy season. Because the river deposited
a layer of rich silt and the clay held the water in, the grass grew tall and
thick and provided a good quality for thatching. The road ran alongside the
edge of the vlei on slightly higher ground and the
workers had piled bundles of cut thatch at intervals along the side of the road
so we pulled the trailer up beside each pile and then Dingaan
and I would transfer the bundles onto the trailer. At first this was quite
easy, but when the pile got higher and I could not reach the top to put my
bundle on, Dingaan suggested that I get on top of the
pile and take the bundles from him to stack them properly so that they would
not fall off on the trip back to the homesteads. This was hot work and I was
glad when we had got the trailer loaded and could head for home again. The
women off loaded the trailer under the watchful eye of Dingaan
and I made a bee line for our kitchen to get a glass of water. Filling a second
glass I took it out to Dingaan who looked shocked. It
was not common for a white person to offer a black employee a glass of water
and especially not using a glass from the white person's own home. But I don't
see colour and Dingaan had been a great help to us
following pa's death and I respected him for that. I did not realise it at the
time but my offering Dingaan a drink from my house
increased his standing and authority over the other staff and so I had done him
more than just a favour.
When we went out for the second and last load for the day I thought and took
some water with me in canvas cool bags and again I allowed Dingaan
to drink from the same cool bag as me. Some would call me innocent, others
foolish for this, but I really couldn't care a less. Being considerate towards
others seemed to happen so naturally to me that I did not have to think about
it. I was also given something of a reprieve because where we collected the
second trailer load of grass from was near to where the workers were still
cutting grass and so Dingaan called them to help load
and I was able to just stay on the trailer the whole time and make sure it got
stacked safely and securely. This did not involve a lot of strenuous work but I
did do some lifting and swinging of the bundles. Although I was not fluent in
Zulu yet I was able to understand most of what Dingaan
was telling the others and it basically came down to him telling them they were
weak and slow and when I "the Baasie" had been
loading the last load by myself the trailer had been loaded much faster. This
of course was not true, but it was Dingaan's way of
telling the workers that I had worked alongside of him as well as any of them
could. I was to find out as time went along that Dingaan
was always singing my praises to the labourers and when they saw that he was
not exaggerating any more than was expected in their custom this built in the
workforce a great respect for "the Baasie" (the
little boss). Later on as I took over more control of the farm management this
was to stand me in good stead and especially when there was no wife, but
another male clearly keeping me company at night. But more of
that later in the story.
For the rest of the day my chores were more of a supervisory type and I went
around the various parts of the farms where there was work being carried out,
chauffeured in my little tractor by Dingaan who would
interpret what I had to say into the correct vernacular language for the
workers at each place. Dingaan was also very good as
he would make suggestions to me if he thought I might need to consider some
other aspect which I might have overlooked. I was also very pleased to find
that my understanding of the main languages spoken on the farm by the labourers
had not diminished while I was not practicing them at school and now during the
holidays I was getting the opportunity to strengthen them more. I had grown up
speaking two languages and it wasn't until I was about four that I was able to
start separating the two languages into their different groups, but the
vernacular languages did not really start coming into my learning until I was
about nine and had started to accompany pa on some days as he went about doing
the farm work. At least at that age I was able to understand and pick up on the
differences in the three main languages our work force spoke and so could learn
bits of each of them at the same time. However, at thirteen I still was not
fluent in any of them and Zulu was the one I was strongest at.
I had got home from my last chore and was sitting on the veranda with ma and Moira, enjoying my one beer for the day when Hennie and Lionel got back. Moira immediately got up and went to speak with Hennie to find out how it had gone and Lionel came to me and said he was going to change out of his uniform. Ma told me to go with him. I am sure she did it because I was busting to know what was decided and ma knew that and so she was also giving me permission to leave her alone. I left my beer on the table and followed Lionel to the room.
[i] Vleis – pronounced "flay" a flat land alongside a river course that was easily flooded in the wet season.