The following story contains graphic sexual scenes between an older male and a young male. If material of this nature offends you, then you should not read this story. Additionally, if the law where you live forbids you to read such stories you should not read this story.
This story is purely a work of fiction. Any
resemblance to persons living or dead, or to events that may have occurred, is
purely coincidental. Additionally, the actions of the characters in this story
are in no way intended to show approval of, or give sanction to, their
activities. The author claims all copyrights to this story and no duplication or
publication of this story is allowed, except by The Nifty Archive, without the
express written consent of the author.
This is my first story published on Nifty Archives. I hope that you will enjoy it. If you like the story and want me to post the next instalment, please email me at JamiePope@live.co.uk all emails will be replied to.
Jake Saves Me
Chapter Nine: The Week (Part 1 Dan's POV)
This chapter contains descriptions of self harm. If this is something that could adversely effect you please skip this chapter and continue from the next one.
I didn't know where I was going. I just drove not knowing or caring about the direction I was heading in.
After nearly hitting another car I decided I needed to stop. I stopped in the car park of an empty park. I got out of the car and went to sit on a bench.
The park was dark and it had started to rain. There wasn't anyone else there and I could feel the hot tears mixing with the cold rain as they fell down my face. I didn't wipe them away, there was no point. I let them fall.
I sat on the bench or over an hour or maybe it was two or three. I couldn't tell. I just sat staring at a point in the grass a few feet from me feeling numb.
Every time I closed my eyes I could see Jake with the young girl astride him as if the image was burnt into the backs of my retinas.
I don't know how long I sat there but when an old lady walking her dog stopped to ask if I was ok I noticed that the sun had started to come up.
"Are you ok dear? You're soaked through to the skin. You really should dry off otherwise you'll catch a cold." She said as her little terrier sniffed around my feet.
I didn't answer her. I couldn't have found my voice even if I wanted to. I just stood up and walked back to the car.
I got in and started driving aimlessly. I must have been driving really slowly as people kept horning and over taking me.
I must have been driving on auto-pilot because I realised I had driven home. I pulled into the drive way and got out of the car not bothering to lock it.
I opened the door and Jake was sitting on the couch waiting for me. He ran up to me and tried to hug me but I quickly moved my body and stopped him touching me. Jake had flinched as if I was raising my hand to him.
Jake didn't try it again.
"Dan I'm sor..."Jake started.
I just walked past him and sat on the armchair in the living room. The house was empty and Jake had clearly spent the whole night cleaning because it looked just like it had before I left for America.
Jake came into the living room and sat on the couch opposite me just looking at me not daring to talk.
I could still smell the smoke in the air. Jake had tried to disguise it with an air freshener but I could still smell it.
"Give me a cigarette." I said gruffly not even looking at him.
Jake got up and went to the drawer then came over and left a half a pack and lighter in front of me before retreating back to the couch.
I picked up a fag and lit it. The heavy smoke filled my lungs and I almost gagged at the taste. It was a strange sensation, the smoke going in and out of my mouth again. I was aware of the smoke's movements within me. It was like I had forgotten how to smoke.
I flicked the ash straight on to the carpet. Jake made a little involuntary sound and I glared at him daring him to say some thing to me.
I couldn't tear my eyes from him. This boy who I once
thought of as beautiful. This boy who I was ready to devote my life to. He sat
there not looking at me. He looked sweaty and had bags under his eyes. He was
ugly to me.
I still couldn't stop looking. I just sat glaring at him. The only sound was the tick of the clock in the kitchen.
I stubbed the cigarette out on the oak table in front of
me. I continued to stare.
Jake looked and saw what I was doing. He moved and leaned forward. For the first time since I had come in he made eye contact with me.
"Dan, look I'm sorry." He said.
"Sorry?" I said in barely more than a whisper.
Jake seemed shocked and almost scared that I had responded. He leaned back on the couch and drew his knees up to his body.
"Your sorry? For what? For having a party while Lee's mother is dying? For breaking the trust I put in you? For betraying me?" I said my voice rising.
"Betraying?" Jake said sitting up suddenly, his voice raising as well.
I glared at him refusing to answer. I expected him to look away but the look seemed to get him angry.
"What are you upset about? I know it's not Lee's mother.
Was it the party or was it just I was in bed with someone else?" Jake threw at
"How Dare YOU." I spat back at him. "How fucking dare you... You...you little fucking shit."
"Touched a nerve have I?" Jake said in his voice rising with mocking in it. "No that can't be it. Otherwise you would have acted the same when you found out about me and Zack. No it was the fact it was a girl right?" Jake said looking mean and cocky.
"FUCK YOU JAKE!" I screamed. "Fuck... YOU" I shouted picking up the coffee table and throwing it with all my strength at the television.
Both the TV and the table came smashing to the floor with a deafening crash. Jake looked really scared now. He was bunched up on the couch with his hand covering his face as if I was about to hit him.
I sat back down panting. Not from the excursion of throwing the table but from the pure furry running through my veins.
"Dan..." Jake said timidly. "Dan, I really am sorry."
I just looked at him and became even more angry.
"I bought you a present." Jake said getting up and running upstairs.
I was still angry. The images from the party ran through my mind as if I was looking at them in a photo album. The image of the dinner plate with all the cigarette butts on it came into my mind and I let out a roar.
I went into the kitchen flung open the cabinet grabbed the full stack of plate threw them to the floor with all my force.
I was still heaving when Jake walked into the room timidly and handed me a small package.
I just looked at it in my hand and threw it at the wall before walking out of the room. Jake followed me out keeping his distance.
"What's wrong with you? Yes I know I have done wrong but why are you acting like this?" Jake shouted.
"Fuck you Jake." I said quietly.
"Fuck me? No fuck you Dan. You're the fucking nutter here."
"You ungrateful little fuck." I spat at him the venom rising in my throat.
"If that's how you feel fine. I'll leave." Jake said.
"No you stay." I said taking a step towards him.
Jake flinched as if I was going to hit him, and then moved out of the way when he saw me heading towards the kitchen.
I walked to the kitchen, ripped open a draw then riffled through it looking for Cam's keys. I grabbed them then without a backwards glance walked out.
As I left the house I picked up one of my bags and threw it in the back seat before driving off.
I drove to Cam's flat letting myself in with his key. I had never been here before, it was small and cramped. The whole flat could have fitted into my entrance hall. On one side there was a desk with lots of computer equipment on it, the other side of the room had enough space for the small double bed and a night stand. Clearly Cam hadn't gotten round to buying a wardrobe yet. Most of his clothes were still in the bags we had brought them from his house in. His suites and shirts were on hangers hanging from the picture rail on the wall.
I looked for somewhere to sit. The only couch in the place was a blow up and had what looked like his dirty clothes on it. I sat on the small desk chair in front of his desk.
As I sat down I noticed a framed picture behind his keyboard. It was the only photo in the small flat.
It one of the photos taken when we had gone to Thorpe Park. I picked up the photo and looked at it in its silver frame. Jake was sitting next to me with his eyes closed screaming as we came down the rollercoaster. I took a closer look and could see Jake was squeezing my hand.
I put the photo down. The tears were welling up in my eyes again. I had to get out of the flat.
I got back in my car and started driving aimlessly again. Before I knew it I was on the M1 heading north.
My phone started to ring; I extracted it from my pocket and looked on the caller id. It was Jake. I rolled down the window and threw the phone out.
I blinked and could see the photo in my mind again. My mind was working overtime working the image in to something contorted. I could see in my minds eye the image of the photo turning into the image of Jake in bed with the girl. I started to get angry again the tears falling into my lap.
I started to put my foot down. One hundred miles an hour, a hundred and twenty then a hundred and forty, then fifty. The car beeped at me to reduce my speed. I ignored it.
A car driving ahead of me only just saw me in time and swerved out of the way. I didn't look back to see if it was ok. I carried on driving not caring if I died or was arrested.
I saw the big blue sign as if it was in slow motion. Luton airport. I quickly put my foot on the break slowing down to fifty then changed lanes and turned off the motorway.
I drove to the airport and parked in the car park. I walked into the terminal and walked up to the first sales desk I could see.
"Good morning sir. How may I help you?" The middle aged lady said to me.
"What is the next flight you have that you have a spare seat on?" I asked shortly.
"Where would you like to go sir?"
"Don't you get it? I don't care, anywhere." I snapped.
She started typing on her computer and after a moment looked at me again as if scared to say what she was going to.
"The next flight I can get you on to is Ireland. Do you have any bags to check because we have already closed check in for this flight."
"No just this as hand luggage." I said not looking at her.
"That will be £73.40 for the flight sir. I will also need to see a passport."
I just handed her my passport and credit card. She took a few minutes checking my passport and card. She then said she had a problem with her computer and took my card and passport to a back room.
She returned about ten minutes later handing them back to me. She typed a few more things on to her computer then printed my ticket.
"Thank you, if you could make your way through to gate eight as soon as possible sir the flight will be boarding in the next twenty minutes."
I grabbed the ticket from her not pausing to thank her and walked the familiar path to the security check in.
An hour later I was touching down in Dublin. I got out of the airport and got in the first taxi I saw.
"Where can I take ya?" The old driver said turning to me.
"Anywhere." I replied moodily.
"Ya gunna have to give me more to go on then that."
"Anywhere quite, the country. Somewhere I can get a drink."
"They country you say? That's a long way from here. I'm gunna need paying upfront my young fella."
I pulled out my wallet and looked through it. I had $100 is US and £10 in English money.
"Hold on." I said.
I got out of the taxi and went to the cash point. I withdrew €300 then walked back to the taxi. There was a lady talking to the driver through the open front window. I just dropped all the notes through the window and got in the back.
"Sorry love. He was here first." The driver said to the women then drove off.
After an hour it the driver pulled up outside of a small country pub.
"This is my brother Mick's pub. Tell him John sent you. That comes to €43.60" John said as I got out of the car.
"Hold on there fella your change." He said out of the window.
"Keep it." I said as I walked towards the pub.
I walked to the bar and stood waiting. After a minute a young blond girl came up to me.
"What can I be doing you for?" She said in a thick accent.
"Double whiskey and keep them coming." I said handing her my card.
After a minute I saw John the driver enter the pub. He looked over to me then walked up to the bar and started talking to a man with a beard. I noticed him pointing at me. I ignored them and drank the second glass the bar girl had placed in front of me.
After a few minutes John walked over to me.
"Hey there fella. You look like your are having a rough day. Let me get you a drink, least I can do for my best paying customer." He said sitting down next to me.
He ordered a couple of beers and I sat quickly drinking mine as he took a sip of his.
"Your drinking a bit heavy aren't you? Anything you want to talk about?" He said taking another small sip from his beer.
I didn't respond. I just looked at him with a `are you kidding me' look.
"I understand. Although if you ask me I already know." John said.
I looked over at him again and cocked an eyebrow.
"It's a girl right? Only girl trouble could ever make a man drink like this."
I looked at him and actually chuckled. I stopped trying to down my drinks and started to drink them a bit slower.
We sat not talking for around twenty minutes. The man who John was talking to when he entered the pub walked up to us with two plates.
"There you go John...and one for your friend." He said placing the plates in front of us.
"Thanks Mick." John said as he left us.
I looked down at my plate, John had ordered me fish and chips. I was hungry, the last time I had eaten was in Seattle Airport which seemed a life time ago. I picked up my fork and pushed my fish with it.
"Come on, you have to eat something. It will make you feel better and you wouldn't want to hurt ol' Mick's feelings would you?" John said.
I picked up my knife and started to eat. This man, a complete stranger was being nice to me for no reason. Sure I had given him over €250 as a tip but he could have just pocketed it and driven off.
I finished my food slowly. I noticed that John kept looking at me out of the corners of his eyes. He was right. When I had finished I did feel a bit better.
John finished his drink then got up.
"I have to get back to work now. You've met my brother Mick. He'll keep an eye out for you. I don't think you have sorted out anywhere to stay tonight so I have had a word and he has a spare room for you." John said putting a hand on my shoulder.
I looked up a bit alarmed. I wasn't about to stay with some stranger I had never met before.
"Don't look at me like that. This is a guest house as well as a pub. He has booked you a room for the night. Anyways if you want taking anywhere else just let Mick know and I'll come and take you. See you around fella." He said patting me gently on the back.
He waved at Mick and walked out of the pub.
I ordered another drink and sat at the bar drinking it. The pub filled with people then emptied again. The whole time I sat at the bar drinking.
At eleven Mick walked over and looked me up and down.
"Hey there, we need a name for your room. That is if you want it." He said.
I didn't answer him, I just pulled out my wallet and handed him one of my credit cards.
"How can I be sure this is yours?" He asked looking at the card.
I pulled my passport out of my pocket and handed it to him. He looked at it and handed both the card and passport back. He walked off and came back a few moments later with a key with a big heavy brass key fob.
"You're in room two. Just up those stairs and to the right. The bar is closing now, shall we settle your tab?"
I just nodded. He walked off again and returned with my other card and a final drink for me.
I signed the slip he handed me then sat finishing the drink. When I had finished it I got off my stool and was surprised how unsteady I was on my feet. I hadn't felt drunk at all when I had been sitting down.
I walked over to the toilets and started to piss in at the urinal. I lent my head on the cool tiled wall to steady myself. After the flow had stopped I remained there dick in hand just letting the cool wall hold me.
"Come on now laddie, I think you're done. Come with me and I'll give you a hand to your room." Mick said standing at the door to the toilet with my duffle bag in hand.
I just nodded, shook off and zipped up. I walked towards him and followed him to the other side of the bar.
He led me up some steep steps. I almost lost my footing but Mick was keeping an eye on me as promised and held on to my arm stopping me from falling. I grabbed the hand rail and regained my footing. I followed him to a small neat double bedroom with its own en-suite bathroom.
I walked in and lay back on the bed. I closed my eyes then heard Mick sigh and put down my bag. I felt him take one of my feet in his hands then remove my shoe. He did the same for the other foot before letting them hang off the end of the bed.
"Now that's all I'm taking off for you. If you get up in time for breakfast it is served between seven and ten. Night there laddie." He said walking out of the room and closing the door.
I woke the next morning. As I lifted my head to look out of the window it have a horrible throb. I groaned rolled out of bed then sat back down on the bed to put my shoes back on.
I looked at my watch, it was half eleven. I wanted another drink so walked back downstairs to the bar. The bar was full of happy people who I didn't want to face.
I headed straight for the door. Mick saw me and just nodded. I nodded back and walked out of the pub.
I was in a small village. Across the road were fields as far I could see. In the distance a few cows stood in the field grazing in the warm morning sun. If this was any other day I would have stopped to stare at the beauty of the landscape in front of me. Today however it just felt like the earth and sun were just there to mock me.
I turned and walked to a local shop. I bought a packet of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey. I took a short walk to the top of a hill and sat staring out at the land trying to drown the feelings within me.
Jakes words kept circling my mind.
Why was I so upset?
Was this just about the party? About Lee's mum? Or was he right was it about the girl?
How could he have done this to me, to Lee? How could he have been so callous to have a party while this women was dying.
As I drank I realised I was deceiving myself. This wasn't about Lee or his mum. When he had called to let me know that there was a problem I was relived when I heard it was with his mum and not with Jake.
Was it me? Was I the one being selfish?
I sat on that hill top drinking until all the drink had gone. I lay on the grass and closed my eyes.
I woke with a sharp pain in my chest. I could hear laughing. Boys laughing. It reminded me of Jake.
I felt another shape pain in my leg as something heavy hit me. I sat up and looked around wearily.
"Quick run! He's woken up." A lad shouted as a group of four or five boys ran.
I felt around on the ground and picked up the fags and lit one. My throat was sore, I had already smoked most of the pack.
I walked back to the village and bought another drink and more cigarettes. I walked around the small village, occasionally stopping at a bench or a low wall to sit and drink.
When it was dark I walked back to the pub and headed up to my room. I collapsed on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.
I woke the next afternoon and walked down the stairs. I went to the bar and ordered a double whiskey. Mick brought it over to me.
"Drink that my friend and then I think you need to have a bath. You have been wearing the same clothes now for at least three days and you smell less than fresh." Mick said placing the drink in front of me.
He was right of course. I had been wearing the same clothes since Thursday morning which was the last time I had had a shower. I had slept in my clothes and must have reeked.
I finished my drink and headed back to my room. I took off my clothes and entered the bathroom.
I looked into the mirror and barely recognised the man staring back at me. The face was drawn and haggard, the fashionable stubble had turned into a scruffy brown beard. The eyes were dark and sunken with large bags below.
I took a long hot shower then wrapped a towel around my waist. I went back to the room and sat on the end of the bed.
My life felt so empty. I couldn't see anything to look forward to.
Where am I going? What was the point in it all?
I got up and brought my bag to the bed. I opened it and looked in. The sight made my eyes swell with tears again.
When I was in Seattle I had packed all of my clothes and belongings into one bag and bought another one for all the things I had bought for Jake. In my haste to leave the house I had picked up the wrong bag.
I zipped the duffle bag back up and put my dirty clothes back on. I walked down to the bar and found Mick.
"Is there a charity shop round here?" I asked quietly.
"Ohh, now your asking. There was one in the village but I think it closed down about six months ago."
"Here you can have this." I said handing him the bag.
"What do you want me to do with it?" Mick asked confused.
"Keep it or sell it. Burn it for all I care." I said.
I walked out of the pub and went to the off licence. I bought another bottle of whiskey and some more fags then went back up to the small hill. I laid on the soft grass and drank a quarter of the bottle down in one.
I carried on drinking and had drunk most of the bottle before passing out.
I dreamt that I could hear Jake next to me. I rolled over and opened my eyes. I could see bleary figures and could hear muffled whispers. I blinked and cleared my eyes in time to see the boys that had thrown stones at me running off with my cigarettes in hand.
I sat up and had a strange taste in my mouth. I picked up the bottle and took a swig trying to clear the taste.
As soon as I tried to swallow I retched and threw up on the grass next to me. I looked down at my self and could see that I had vomited while I was passed out. I had only eaten the one meal in the last three days so it mainly consisted of liquid but it stank all the same.
I sat staring at a patch of grass a few feet ahead of me. As I started to sober up I realised that I could have died. Drowned in my own sick and died. No one even knew I was here.
What did it matter? No one would really miss me. The only one I really loved didn't really love me.
I looked down at the bottle in my hand and became angry again. I raised my arm and smashed the bottle on the ground.
My finger was bleeding. I looked down at it.
What did I care? I deserved the pain. Every thing I touched became tainted and wrong.
I would be better off not here.
I picked up a shard of the broken bottle and raised it to my eye. It was sharp, a single drop of the spilt whiskey dangled from its point.
No one would miss me.
I looked at my left forearm and at the shard of glass in my hand.
I pushed the glass into my arm and felt the sharp pain as it punched my skin. I drew it down my arm towards my hand and watched the crimson liquid start to appear in the line I was drawing with the shard.
I sat watching as my white arm and hand became covered in blood.
The pain was exquisite. My arm throbbed. I could feel every beat of my heart like a large drum within my damaged limb. I could feel the hot blood seeping from the wound dripping on to the grass
It needs to be faster. It barely hurts. I deserve more pain.
I brought the shard of glass back to my arm and placed it above the artery I could see pulsing.
I was about to press down then stopped.
I haven't written a will. I want Jake to have it all.
Jake would blame himself. He would think this is all his fault. It would ruin his life.
How could I do this to him? None of this is his fault. I was fucked up before I ever met him.
My beautiful boy.
I threw the shard of glass away from me and tried to stand up. I felt dizzy and fell back down. I crawled down the hill to a small wall and used it to get up.
I walked unsteadily back down to the village. People were stopping to stare at me. I must have looked a state. I had already been dirty and haggard now I had sick down my shirt.
I walked into the pub and everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me. My vision was starting to get hazy. The room was spinning.
"Kathy! Quick he's bleeding." I heard Mick shout as he ran over to me.
I looked down at my arm. I had almost forgotten about that. I watched as if it was in slow motion. The crimson blood was still leaking in a small stream. My hand was completely wet with the red liquid. There was a small puddle appearing on the floor below my arm. I watched as a red drop fell from the end of my finger and joined the pool at my feet.
I felt suddenly sick. The room started spinning. I needed to sit down. I tried to sit on a stool and everything went black.
I could hear voices taking above me. Someone was shouting. The voices became muffled again then disappeared completely.
I could hear more voices above me. These voices were calmer. Someone was touching my face. They started fading again. I could feel a warm feeling filling my body.
I could hear more voices. They sounded distant. They were talking about me. The voices were getting nearer.
"Thank you doctor." I heard Mick say.
I opened my eyes. The light hurt, it was so bright. I shut them quickly. I tried to open them again slowly this time. The images came into focus.
Mick was standing next to a middle aged women clutching at coat. She had one arm around Mick and was resting her head on his chest.
"Wh..." I tried to speak but my throat was sore and my mouth was dry.
Mick must have heard me though. He walked over to me and poured me a glass of water from the night stand.
"Kathy, can you get us some coffee's please?" Mick said turning to his wife.
She just nodded and walked down the ward.
"That's quite a scare you gave us there young man." Mick said.
I finished my water and handed it back to him.
"Where am I?" I asked.
I barely recognised my own voice. It was hoarse and scratchy.
"Where do you think? Do that to your arm and your gunna end up in hospital." Mick said sitting on the chair next to me.
I tried to lift my arm and look at it. There was a sharp pain all across my forearm.
"Don't do that! They had to put in a hundred and seventy stitches to repair it." Mick said sharply.
I looked down at my arm. It was heavily bandaged and was throbbing painfully.
"Your just lucky you managed to get back to the bar and that Kathy was quick enough to slow the bleeding until the ambulance got there." Mick said quietly.
I looked around the bed. I was sitting up in a bed with a drip in one of my arms. They had clearly put a catheter into my bladder. I could see the yellow liquid flowing into out of a small tube coming from blow my blankets.
"What made you do it?" Mick said suddenly sounding angry.
I looked over at him. I didn't have any words for him.
I need Jake here with me.
Tears welled up in my eyes. Mick's face suddenly fell.
"I'm sorry there. I didn't mean to get angry. I know we all have problems, but none of them are worth this." He said becoming softer.
He patted my leg then got up and walked to the end of the bed.
After a few moments his wife rejoined his side. She didn't have any coffee with her though.
"The doctor would like to speak to him." She said in a soft Irish accent.
Mick just nodded. Kathy turned and nodded down the hall. After a minute a young doctor walked in wearing light blue scrubs.
"Are you coming in Mrs Brennen?" The doctor said turning to Kathy.
She looked up at Mick who nodded. They both walked into the curtained area before the doctor closed them shielding us all from view.
"That was a lucky escape you had there Mr. Wood. You have managed to miss the tendons and the arteries in the forearm. You did cut into a few veins though which is why you lost so much blood. Your luckily your sister here was quick witted enough to slow the bleeding or we may have lost you." The doctor said.
I looked quizzically at Mick and his wife but they were watching the doctor.
"The surgeons have repaired the damage to the blood vessels and have stitched the skin above. The wound looks like it has been inflicted with a jagged blade of some kind so it is likely you will have a scar for life." He continued.
I just looked at him and nodded.
"What concerns me most is the reason why you have done this."
"Accident." I said gruffly.
"No. I can see this is no accident. This is self inflicted. I can see from the fingers on your other hand that you have cut them gripping something sharp. I can tell from the wound on your forearm that you started near the elbow and slowly cut away from you.
You had an extremely high alcohol level when you were admitted so I will understand if you can't remember all the details. Do you remember doing this to yourself?"
I nodded again.
"What did you do it with?"
"Were you trying to kill yourself?"
I shook my head.
"Have you ever had suicidal thoughts or tried to hurt yourself before?"
I nodded not looking at any of them. I stared past them to the curtains.
"Do you speak to someone about your problems?"
I nodded again.
"Your sister tells me you're here visiting from London. Are they there?"
"Wallet" I said turning to Mick.
He picked up a clear bag from the floor and pulled out my wallet and placed it on my lap.
I used my right hand to open it and pulled out Dr. Charlton's card with difficulty.
The doctor looked at the card. After a moment he said "I'll be right back." and left the curtained area.
Kathy sat down and Mick squeezed her shoulder.
I don't know how long I was lying there waiting for the doctor to return. It felt like a lifetime.
The doctor walked back in and closed the curtains behind him.
"OK, I have spoken to Dr. Charlton. Have you taken any of your medication yesterday?" he said.
I shook my head.
"When was the last time you took it?"
"Thursday." I said the end of the word getting lost in my dry throat.
Kathy poured me some water and handed me the glass.
"OK well you are going to need to stay in tonight. Some one from Psychiatrics is going to want to speak to you as well. When they have we should be able to get you back on your medication." He said turning to leave.
He opened the curtains and Mick and Kathy followed him out. After a few minutes Mick returned.
"OK lad. You try and get some sleep now. We'll see you in the morning." He said patting my foot.
I was alone again. My body was aching all over. My head felt like I had just bashed it against a wall. My arm was burning and itching. I didn't feel tired at all. I sat staring out of the window across the ward. I could see a tree swaying gently in the breeze.
When I woke the lights on the ward had been dimmed. The window was now completely dark. My head felt a bit better but my body still ached. The pain in my arm was getting worse.
The burning and itching were still there but I was becoming aware of an acute throb. I stopped feeling the rest of my body. All I could feel was the escalating pain in my arm.
I looked around the room. On the wall was a small dongle hanging from a white wire with the words `Call Nurse' above it. I reached over and pressed the button.
After a minute a short black nurse came to my bed.
"What's wrong dear?" She asked.
"Arm... Pain..." I said clutching my bandage.
She looked at my chart then ran off. She came back a few minutes later with a small tray.
She placed the tray on the small table then removed the clear plastic wrapper. She pushed up the blankets then moved my gown exposing my thigh.
She rubbed my thigh with a wet wipe she took out of a packet. She then plunged a small needle into me.
"The doctor would like to speak to you now. He will be up to see you in a few minutes." She said putting the needle into a yellow box and walking out.
I sat up staring at the patients asleep in the beds opposite me.
I need to fix this. I need to get back home and talk to Jake.
After another twenty minutes an older man walked in and closed the curtains.
He introduced himself as Dr. Palmer. He sat talking to me for nearly an hour. He seemed tired and not at all interested in any of my problems. I had the distinct impression that he just wanted me off his service so he could get back to whatever it was he was doing before he came up.
After he finished talking. He picked up my chart and wrote something on it. He thanked me and left my cubical.
After another five minutes or so the nurse came back. She had a small cup in her hand. She handed it to me and I looked into it. There were two pills inside it.
"The doctor has given you some medication and something to help you sleep." She said.
I took the medication and rolled over. I lay in the bed and drifted into a dreamless sleep.
When I woke I felt warm. I could feel a sun beam on me from the window opposite.
I sat up and poured myself a drink. I sat watching people coming and going from the busy ward.
After an hour I heard a familiar voice. Mick and Kathy walked up to my bed and sat down.
"Hey there laddie. The nurse says you can get out of here today." He said.
The nurse then walked in and closed the curtains.
"Mr. Wood the doctor would like you to eat something before you leave. You are going to need some one to look after you for at least a couple of days."
"That's fine, we'll look after him." Mick said.
She nodded and returned a short time later with a tray of food. It was bland and tasteless but I ate it with Mick and Kathy watching me closely.
The nurse came back after I had eaten and asked Mick and Kathy to wait outside. She removed the drip from my arm and the catheter.
"I'll just go and get you some medicine to take away with you before you leave." She said leaving the cubicle.
Mick came in with a plastic bag leaving the curtains closed.
"I brought you some clean clothes. They had to cut your shirt off you and your trousers were covered in blood. Here I'll give you a hand." He said.
I sat on the end of the bed as he helped me put on some old jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. They were far too big for me and I must have looked silly but they were warm and comfortable. Mick bent down and put some clean socks and my trainers on me.
After I was dressed the nurse came back with some medication and explained that I would need to keep my arm clean and dry for at least a few weeks and would need to go to the doctors to have to dressings changed in a few days.
I was still feeling week but Mick kept me steady as we walked out of the hospital and towards his car. I sat in the back while Mick drove us back to the pub.
He helped me slowly up the stairs and down the corridor. I started to head for my room but he lead me to another room.
"No not in there. You're staying in our room tonight. Kathy is going to take yours." Mick said leading me into a small flat.
"Why are you doing this for me? You don't even know me." I said as he helped me into his comfortable bed.
"If we can't count on the kindness of strangers in our weakest times, who else can we turn to?" He said gently tucking me in.
Even though I had been in bed all day the short trip had exhausted me. Mick drew the curtains and left me in the room to sleep.
I woke some time later to the sound of Mick coming into the room. He had a tray in his arms and I sat up. He placed the tray on my lap.
There was a steaming bowl of green soup and some bread. There was also a glass of juice and a spoon on a napkin.
"I dare say that is a bit better than the food in the hospital. Kathy made it her self, split pea and spinach." He said opening in the curtains.
The sun outside the window was setting and the sky was tinged with pink.
I slowly ate the soup while Mick sat on the couch watching me. He switched on the TV and I felt better as the hot soup filled me up.
Mick left me with the remote after I had finished eating and took the tray back downstairs.
I woke and the whole room was dark. Mick was asleep on the couch snoring deeply. I got out of bed quietly and went to find the toilet. I as I started to pee my dick stung.
I flushed the toilet and quietly got back into bed. I hugged the pillows which had a light flowery smell.
I woke the next morning. The room was empty, Mick must have been downstairs.
I need to get home.
I got out of the bed and walked downstairs to the bar. Mick was standing polishing a glass and talking to the young barmaid.
I sat at on a stool and Mick looked round.
"You look a lot better today." He said.
"I need to get home. Could you call me a cab?" I said.
"You're not going anywhere today." He said putting the glass away.
I looked at him dubiously while the young barmaid walked away.
"Don't look at me like that. You lost a lot of blood the other day and haven't eaten properly all week. You need to regain your strength first. Kathy is making you breakfast now. Eat that and we'll talk later."
Kathy came out ten minutes later with a plate filled with food. I ate slowly at the bar. Mick poured me a glass of orange juice which I drank with relish.
It took a long time before I gave up eating. The food was already getting cold and I was full. There was still a lot on the plate.
I was feeling tired again so I headed back upstairs and watched TV in the bed. I wasn't at all sleepy but my body still ached
I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. At mid day Mick came up with some sandwiches for lunch. At around five o'clock Kathy came in with some shepherds pie. She sat and talked with me while I ate. She was friendly and warm. She stuck to safe subject like what it was like to live in London and what I did for work.
I fell asleep early that night. When I woke it must have been close to dawn. The sun was just rising, its warm beams shooting through the gaps in the trees.
I got up and peed. Then headed down to the bar. I made myself a cup of coffee then went to sit in a comfortable armchair to watch the sun rise. The sight was truly marvellous. I the only sounds I could hear were the happy chirping of the birds outside.
When the sun had come up fully it made myself another coffee then looked around the pub. It was a small pub with lots of interesting things hung all around the walls. I hadn't even noticed them when I first came in. I looked around some more. On one wall was a shelf filled with books above a bench seat.
I looked down the spines. They were mainly old books, most of which were ripped or damaged in some way. I selected an old looking book and took it back to the armchair and started reading.
"Ah there you are." Mick said coming down the stairs a few hours later.
"Yeah, I woke up and came down to watch the sun rise. I made my self a coffee, I hope you don't mind." I replied putting down the book.
"No it's fine. I just woke up and you were gone. Wasn't sure where you got to that's all. Can I make you another?" He said going behind the bar.
He brought over two coffees and sat opposite me in his worn pyjamas.
"You haven't read all that this morning have you?" He asked looking at the book in my hand.
"Yeah I was always a fast reader but it helps if it is a good book." I replied.
"Do tell. What's it about?" He asked.
"Haven't you read these books then?"
"God no. They were here when I bought the pub!" He said with a chuckle. "Not much time for reading when you work sixteen hours a day and live in your office." He said sitting back and taking a sip of the coffee.
"It's a story about a man who loves a woman. He loves her so much but they can't be together. It's breaking his heart. I haven't finished it yet so I'm not sure what happens." I said.
"I think one of hardest things in this world is to love someone who can't love you back."
I just nodded.
"But you realise that what is even more difficult is loving them enough to let them go. If your love is pure and you truly care about that person then you will sacrifice your love and let them live happily." Mick said looking at a cow out of the window.
There's that phrase again. `If your love is pure'. Can I love Jake enough to let him go?
His happiness is the most important thing to me. I would sacrifice myself and everything I had to make him happy.
I need to go home.
If Jake would be happier with someone else I will stand by him. I will continue to love him and care for him and do everything in my power to let him live happily.
"I need to get back to London. I have things I need to sort out."
"If you're feeling strong enough. I'll call John. He'll know when the flights are and can take you to the airport. He won't be awake for a couple of hours mind.
Well time to get to work. You stay there and I'll get us some breakfast." Mick said draining his coffee and standing up.
He came back after a half an hour having washed and dressed carrying a tray of three plates of food. He placed them on a table in front of the bar and went and made some coffees.
Kathy came down the stairs yawning wearing a pink flowery robe.
"Morning. I thought I smelt breakfast." She said taking a seat at the table.
We ate breakfast then Kathy went off to get dressed. Mick cleared away the plates and started getting the pub ready for opening. I went back to my armchair and continued to read the book.
Kathy came down an hour later washed and dressed smelling of delicate flowers.
"I have run a bath for you. Do you want me to get Mick to give you a hand?" She said placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Thank you. No I think I can manage." I said.
"There are fresh towels in the airing cupboard and I have washed your jeans for you. You can help yourself to one of Mick's shirts and anything else you need." She said wandering off to find Mick.
I went upstairs and got undressed in the bathroom. I got in the bath and washed. It was difficult being able to only use the one arm but the water was hot and comforting.
When I finished I got out and dried myself. I looked in the mirror. I looked rougher and my beard was longer and scraggly but I had lost the haggard and haunting look in my eyes.
I ran my hand through my wet hair and rubbed my over grown beard. I couldn't wrap the towel around myself properly so I unlocked the door and stuck my head out.
The room was empty so I quickly walked across the room and closed the door. I found my washed jeans and underwear on the bed. I laid my boxers on the floor and stepped into them. I pulled them on with difficulty. I then tried to do the same with my jeans. It wasn't as easy and I managed to get them up to my thighs before giving up.
I went to the wardrobe and looked inside. I pulled out an old looking t-shirt and pulled it off the hanger. I put it over my head and managed to get my working arm through the right hole. I was having difficulty getting my head through the hole when I heard a knock on the door.
"You ok in there?" I heard Mick say through the door.
"Um... yeah." I said my voice muffled through the t-shirt over my head.
I heard the door open and Mick walk in. He pulled the t-shirt down so my head was exposed.
"You really have to ask for help sometimes you know." Mick said helping me put my damaged arm into the shirt.
He looked at me in the eye before pulling up my jeans and zipping them up.
"Come on sit on the bed and we can get your socks on." He said.
I sat on the edge of the bed as he kneeled down and put my socks and shoes on. I felt so helpless sitting there like a child having to be helped to dress by this man I barely knew.
"I've spoken to John. The first flight back to London is at five o'clock. He'll be here at one to pick you up."
I nodded and followed him down the stairs. I took my seat at the armchair and finished the book.
I put the book down and looked out of the window. I watched an old lady walking her dog across the field.
"Hello there young fella." A voice said and put a hand on my shoulder.
I looked up and saw the smiling face of John. I smiled back as he took a seat opposite me.
"Let me buy you lunch, it's the least I can do to thank you." I said.
"Don't worry about it. I always eat for free here." John said.
"I know but I feel I owe you and Mick so much."
We went to the bar and ordered some drinks and some food. When Mick brought them out he sat with us and ate.
After lunch. Mick took away the dishes and I went upstairs to pack up the few things I had.
I came back down and waited at the bar.
"Can I pay my bill please?" I asked Mick.
"You don't have to worry about it. John has covered it." Mick said.
"No I have to. You guys have already done so much for me. I have been nothing but problems to you and you helped me without needing to. It really does mean a lot to me."
"If you insist but it won't be easy to get John to take the money back."
"Just give it to him after I have left." I said as he handed me the card machine.
I paid the bill, thanked Mick and Kathy and went back to John.
He finished his drink and we left the pub. The drive to the airport was quite. John pulled up into the car park and parked. He followed me into the terminal as I went buy my ticket.
While I was waiting for my flight I bought John a drink and we sat in the bar chatting. We exchanged address and telephone numbers before I had to leave to board my flight.
I arrived back at Luton airport at around five in the evening. I picked up my car and drove home.
When I entered the house I was a bit shocked to see Cam walking towards me.
"The wonder returns!" Cam said.
"Hey, what you doing here?" I asked baffled.
"You took off with the keys to my flat, I've been staying here for last few of days, I hope you don't mind."
"No sorry. I completely forgot I had them. How have you been?"
"Not bad, just about to head out for the night. I managed the McMillan meeting yesterday, I think they should be ok but I arranged for us to sign next week so you would have a chance to check over the proposal first. Where have you been anyway? You look terrible and the house is a wreak." Cam replied.
"Oh, no where just had to clear my head for a few days."
"Is Jake with you?"
"Jake? Isn't he here?" I asked suddenly scared.
"No, hasn't been here since I've been here. I assumed you must have been somewhere together. I tried to ring Lee to find out where you were but his phone has been off yours too."
I just shook my head and entered the house. I handed Cam his keys and sat down on the couch.
"Did you want me to stay for awhile? You look like you could do with the company." Cam said.
"No I'll be fine. You head off. Sorry about stealing your keys."
Cam took the keys and headed upstairs. He returned with his suitcase.
"Just give me a call if you want me to come round. I don't mind." Cam said sounding concerned.
"No, really I'm fine." I said.
"OK, I'll see you next week I guess."
Cam left the house and I looked around surveying the damage. The room was exactly as it had been the morning I had left it. The TV and table were still on the floor. My thoughts turned to Jake. I had been too angry and had scared him.
I looked in the kitchen. The plates were still smashed on the floor but had been pushed to one side. Cam must have cleared a path to the fridge.
I headed upstairs to Jake's bedroom. Laying on the bed was all the things I had ever bought for Jake. The watch and the wallet were carefully placed next to his phone.
Tears filled my eyes.
What have I done? I need to find him and say sorry.
What if I can't find him. What if something has happened to him?
I wiped my eyes and went back downstairs. I took the numbers off the fridge and tried to call Lee's mobile. It was off. I didn't know who else to try. I didn't have his mother's number written down or his brother's number. I thought of calling Jason but I only had his number on my mobile.
I went to the study and looked through some of my papers. I found the proposal for Lee's medical policy which had his home number written on it. I called the number and waited. After a few rings a voice I recognised answered.
"Hello?" Jason said.
"Jas, it's me Dan. Have you seen Jake around?"
"Not since Monday. He told me what happened but left here in the night. I think I might have made things worse. When I called him in the morning he told me he was back at your place." Jason said quietly.
"No he's not here. I don't know where else to look."
"I'll try to give him a call if you like." Jason said.
"No he left his mobile here. Is everything ok with you? You sound...well different."
"Um... well Lee's mum died."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Is Lee ok?"
"Yeah he was expecting it but I think it is still hitting him harder than he thought."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"No, I think he just wants to be left alone. I have tried to comfort him but he has been a bit funny recently."
"Let me know if there is anything you need. I'll send some flowers or something."
"Don't send flowers. He doesn't like them. I think that it reminds him too much of something."
"OK, I'll let you get back to him then. If you hear from Jake can you let me know?" I said.
"Of course. I'll talk to you soon."
I hung up the phone and went back into the lounge. I was feeling tired. I curled up on the couch covering myself with a blanket and fell asleep.
I woke early the next morning. The sun was still low in the sky. I walked into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I sat at the breakfast bar drinking it and thinking.
I need to clear this up. If I have any chance of convincing Jake to come back I need to get rid of it all.
I finished my coffee and put the empty cup in the dishwasher. I started to clear the broken plates from the floor then wiped down the surfaces. I went back to the living room and used my good arm to drag the table back to the middle of the room. I couldn't pick up the TV so I just stood it up on the floor. Hovered the house and looked around. It looked almost back to normal. The phone started to ring and I ran to the kitchen to answer it.
"Hello?" I asked desperately.
"Dan, its Clive Charlton."
The disappointment flooded through me.
"Hi Doc." I said.
I heard a key turn in the lock. I dropped the phone and ran to the entrance hall.
To be continued...
Notes from the Author:
I hope you liked the story! If so please email me at JamiePope@live.co.uk if not please let me know why. I will reply to all emails. If you just want to chat add me on msn!
Thanks to all the guys who have emailed me and let me know that they are enjoying the story. Sorry I haven't had time to reply to your emails. I am reading them and they really help. I will try and reply to all email when I have a bit more time.
Sorry again for taking such a long time to get these chapters written. I am trying to get them done as quickly as possible!
And again thanks for reading!!!!