Date: Wed, 31 May 2006 17:19:23 +0200 (CEST) From: Nathan Me Subject: James Chapter 15 'James' by Nathan New email address nathan7new@yahoo.co.uk Please note that email addresses listed previously are no longer active and I no longer use the groups mentioned there. My stories are now archived at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nathansstories/. This story contains material of a sexual nature and describes sexual acts between adults and children. If you find this kind of material offensive, if you are under the legal age to read such material or if it is illegal in your country, please do not read any further. My stories may contain some factual or autobiographical elements, but they are works of fiction and any apparent similarities of my characters to real people are not intended. This story is protected by copyright. It may not be downloaded, copied, printed or otherwise reproduced in any way other than for your private enjoyment and may not be changed in any way without express written consent of the author, me! I hope you enjoy this story. James: Chapter 15 James sat and watched the jugglers in Covent Garden, then the magician. He was fantastic and James had no idea where all the ribbons and stuff came from. Candles, walking canes, silk hankies and finally a white dove. It flapped its wings, proving on queue that it was a real bird and not a fake. It was a risk, coming back to Covent Garden, but it was within easy walking distance and it felt right, somewhere familiar. He noted how expensive everything was here though. It seemed to him like everything was aimed at the tourists and so more expensive. James had spent most of the morning watching the street entertainers, but now he was getting hungry. He thought about going back to McDonald's, feeling the money in his pocket, but then he remembered what he had done to get that money and decided that he probably wouldn't go back there for a while. He wandered around the west end for a couple of hours, looking in shop windows, avoiding the stares he felt he was getting from a host of different men. Each time a man caught his eye, it made him feel like he had felt in the cubicle at McDonald's, cheap, used and somehow less than he was before. He was still struggling with all the things he had done over he last few days. He was a runaway and that meant that nobody would believe anything he said. His mum was dead and so he was alone without anyone to be on his side. He had done sex stuff with men, not just with tom, but the other man too, in a toilet. How disgusting was that? He was quickly sinking into a deep state of despair. Tears welled at the corner of his eyes, but stayed there, not enough to fall down his cheeks. He felt alone and increasingly frightened. He realised that he was a child in a world of grown-ups and he was so very alone and powerless. It was almost two o'clock by the time he found himself in Leicester Square. On the corner was a pizza takeaway that opened right onto the walkway. He bought a huge slice of pizza for £1.00. It was ham and pineapple. It was lovely and hot. Looking around he saw that the centre of the square was like a mini park, with grass and benches. He wandered over to a park bench and sat down to east his pizza. Beside him was a statue of a man with a bendy cane. He thought he recognised the man, but couldn't remember his name. Across from him were several cinemas, all advertising the latest films. He fiddled with the remaining five pound note in his pocket and wondered whether it was worth it. Some of the buildings were modern, with glass fronts, but many were old with fancy arches and windows and little spire like things on the roofs. Some of them were natural stone colours; some were painted white of cream. He licked the grease of the pizza of his fingers and thrust his hand back into his pocket to finger the money. He made his decision and got up. He walked, decisively, straight across to a cinema showing a "Re-mastered" version of ET. He'd seen that on TV and wondered what "Re-mastered" version meant? He paid £3.50 of his five pounds to get in and another £1.20 for a small coke and wet up the steps into the cinema. There was almost no-one else there so he chose a seat right in the middle of an empty row about half way back. He sat and waited for almost twenty minutes until the programme started with adverts and trailers for new films he knew he probably wouldn't have the money to come and see. This was stupid! He needed the money for food and here he was wasting it on an old film he had already seen on TV. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Eventually the film started and soon he was engrossed in the story of a little boy who found a very special friend. Tom wandered down the road. He was afraid. Terrified in fact. The longer he waited the more it was eating away at him. He could die! How stupid he had been. He had seen sex as a game and got as much of it as he could. He had dozens of partners and, yes, he did like it rough, but he still couldn't believe that Sara actually thought he had raped her. He hadn't, really, had he? Could he have gotten carried away? Been too forceful? Ignored what she wanted? Was he really like that? NO! Well, yes. No... maybe, sometimes. Oh, shit! What a bastard. No wonder he had scared the boy away. He had been using people. Why? He knew why. Ever since his family had died he had felt betrayed, left alone and he was angry. He was very angry and was taking that anger out on everyone else. Work colleagues, girlfriends, even the boy. He wanted to be in control, safe because he was in control. He was so scared that someone would leave him, that he would push them away first, use them and then throw them away. He had become a monster. He used people and now he was going to be punished for it. He was going to die. He didn't really like himself very much. He thought back over his recent relationships, seeing how he had used people to satisfy his own needs without thought for theirs or how it would make them feel. He was selfish. He was a monster who had abused a vulnerable little boy. He was feeling sorry for himself and suddenly realised that while ever he felt for himself first, even if he recognised how hard he had been on others, while ever he felt sorry for himself and not what he had actually done to others, nothing would change. Something in his ego rebelled against this line of thought, trying justify, explain and excuse his behaviour, but he had now crossed a line in his self-awareness, made a discovery that could not be undiscovered and he had to choose, knowing fully who he was, how he would treat others from now on. Could he change? Was he able to be less selfish? His ego tried to reassert itself again, but met the new reality, a reality born from fear, fear of his own mortality and loneliness. He didn't know what it would mean for his future, only that he had choices to make. About halfway through the film, James heard people moving around behind him. He turned, but could see little in the gloom. During quiet moments he thought he could hear rustling and heavy breathing, but he had no idea what was going on around him. He became engrossed in the film again and forgot all about the noises around him until he heard some giggling behind him. He gazed round and the half dozen rows in front and behind were completely empty except for an old man and two young boys, one about his age and one a little younger. They seemed to be jumping up and down from their seats, disappearing for a few minutes and then reappearing in turn. He tried to concentrate on the film, but found the giggling and rustling distracting. Occasionally he looked back and a couple of times the man caught his eye and winked at him, a broad smile spreading across his face. A few minutes later, the older of the two boys made him jump by suddenly leaning over the back of his seat and thrusting a tub of popcorn in front of him. "What some?" the boy shook the tub of popcorn slightly and it released the warm sweet smell into James' nostrils. "Err, thanks." James took a small handful, still looking at the boy. "I'm Chris. What's your name?" The boy jumped over the back of the cinema seat and landed right next to him. "James." "Want some more?" He held out the tub again and James took another small handful of popcorn. "It's a great film isn't it?" "Yeah. I saw it on TV but it's better on a big screen." "Yeah. We came with John, a friend of my dad's. You by yourself?" He stuffed a huge handful of popcorn into his mouth, managing to drop a few corns in the process, which rolled down his t-shirt and came to rest on his shorts. They were carki with oversized pockets on each thigh. His t-shirt was cream with a silhouette of a skateboarder doing an Ollie. He chomped noisily on his popcorn, seemingly replenishing the contents of his mouth even before he had finished the previous load. James smiled. Chris' movements were robotic, but totally unself-conscious. Chris must have caught the smile, because he turn to James and returned it, complete with a wink, just like the man, john, had done earlier. They watched the rest of the film, occasionally passing comments to each other in hushed tones, although only John and the other child were close enough to have heard. James thought that the other boy couldn't have seen too much of the film as he was constantly in and out of his seat. James couldn't actually see what he was doing, but once or twice he thought he heard noisy slurping over the film soundtrack and that set his imagination going, based on his own recent experience. He checked himself and couldn't believe how much of a pervert he was turning into, thinking about blow jobs all the time. Still... He fondled the remaining few coins in his pocket and wondered what he would do for food tomorrow. The boys on the screen were cycling high over the cars that had been chasing them and ET was wrapped in a blanket in the basket on the front of Elliot's bike. If only he could soar above his problems so easily. Life wasn't as easy as a Hollywood film. He hadn't noticed before and didn't know when it had started, but he now felt the gentle pressure from Chris' hand, resting on his thigh. The boy was slumped in his own chair, so that his upper body was leaned over the arm, just like it had been when he was whispering to James, but the forearm was draped down his side of the armrest, and his hand just flopped on James' thigh. Chris saw James looking at it, turned it over so it was palm down and squeezed his thigh, but didn't make any attempt to remove it. James felt slightly self-conscious, but did nothing. As the tension built up on screen so the occasional squeezes grew stronger and more frequent and, James thought, higher up his leg. Shit! Chris was almost touching his dick now. And then he was, with a wicked smile, Chris moved his hand over James' crotch and squeezed again. By now, James actually had a hardon and when Chris felt it he squeezed again, this time deliberately grasping his new friends rigid pole. James swallowed hard and tried to keep watching ET say goodbye. Chris fondled him and James wondered if all men and boys were really gay? As the film credits rolled, Chris turned round in his seat and beamed at John. "This is James. Can he come back with us?" "That depends on what his parents say. Are they here with you James?" John's eyes burned into James and seemed to be asking a lot more than his mouth had. "No. I'm by myself today." "Well do you think they would mind if you came for tea? Would you have to phone them to ask or anything?" The man stared at this very attractive, but slightly dishevelled looking boy. Something was askew: it was a weekday in the middle of London, so this child should have been at school, or at the very least have been with some adult, parent or guardian. Odds were that this was either a child playing hooky from school, or possibly a runaway. Either way, John was very interested. "No. I don't need to ask anyone. I'm not expected back for ages." James couldn't believe how easily the lies slipped from his tongue. The man smiled back at him, picking up his coat and taking the younger boy by the hand. "Well, then, let's get going and perhaps we can stop off and get pizza for tea on the way home. Do you like pizza, James?" "Love it." "Excellent. So do Chris and Danny here. Ok. Let's go and see if we can find where we parked the car." They walked together out of the cinema and for about fifteen minutes until they entered a multi-storey car park and found their car. They piled in and they two boys argued over who was going to sit up front, so John settled it by telling James to sit in the front seat. John drove to the barrier, paid and drove out into the brightness of the late afternoon sun. James was lost before they had turned two corners. He felt vulnerable now that he was no longer in the territory that had so quickly become familiar, his. They chatted about football, the film, films in general and school. James found it amazingly easy to deflect questions that came too close to revealing that he was homeless and all alone in the world. For a little while, at least, he felt normal again, bantering with Chris and Danny and John intervening when things became too raucous. They stopped outside a Pizza Hut and ordered two large pizzas and garlic bread. Twenty minutes later they were travelling again, James in the back this time with Chris. As they drove Chris once again laid his hand in James' lap and began playing with his crotch. James let his headrest back and closed his eyes. He didn't want to upset Chris. He was enjoying being with a normal family again and he was not going to do anything to upset that. More to come...