Date: Thu, 28 Jul 2005 08:55:56 -0700
From: Phantasm
Subject: Jasons-Haven-39

Jason's Haven
by Phantasm

Warning

The following story is purely fictional. Any similarities to real persons or
events is strictly coincidental. This story contains graphic descriptions of
sexual acts between males of varying ages, including minors. If such
material offends you or is illegal in the location from which you are
reading it, please seek your reading enjoyment elsewhere.

This story is copyright protected under the pseudonym of "Phantasm". This
story may not be redistributed in whole, or in part, without the expressed
written consent of the author. This story may not be used by anyone in the
pursuit of monetary gain. The author of this story in no way condones the
physical, mental, or sexual abuse of anyone, particularly minors.

Author's Note

Comments, sent to phantasmic1@hotmail.com, about this story are welcomed.
You can also visit the Fiction By Phantasm discussion group at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/phantasm/ where the latest chapters are
available for download. A map of Jason's Haven can be viewed there as well.


Chapter Thirty Eight

Michael and I walked out to the back patio and took a seat at the table.
Mihai came out to inform us that all of the arrangements had been made.
There would be no viewing of the remains. A small memorial service would be
held after the remains were cremated. The memorial service would be held at
10:00am on Friday morning. I instructed Mihai to have the plane ready to
take off immediately after the service. I wanted to get the boys back to a
happier place as quickly as possible.

The remainder of the day Wednesday and all of Thursday was a blur. Everyone
walking around like zombies from "Night of the Living Dead". No matter what
Michael or I did, we could not get the boys to cheer up, even a little. We
got an early start on Friday morning. The boys were up and showered by
7:00am. We had a healthy breakfast and the boys did a little better at
eating. They still did not eat as much as they should have.

After breakfast, we all went upstairs to dress. The boys looked very nice in
their dark blue suits. We all walked downstairs and placed our bags in the
towncar. Mihai's SUV was right behind the towncar. Mihai and Franklin were
dressed in black suits just like Michael and I were. Little Nicholas had on
a very cute dress outfit and he looked adorable. We all climbed into our
vehicles and headed out for the church at 9:00am.

As we pulled in front of the church, the boys were shocked to see so many
people standing on the stairs. The boys from the half-way house were there,
along with all of the staff. There were about twenty people there that I did
not know. Finally, a couple of there faces registered and I realized that
they were folks from the Department of Children's Services. Apparently
Maggie had made quit and impression in her short time with the half-way
house. Marcus came around and opened the door for us. The boys got out first
and then Michael and I followed.

I took hold of James' left hand with my right, and Curtis' right hand with
my left. Michael was holding Curtis' left hand as we walked up the steps and
entered the church. As soon as the boys caught site of the urn sitting at
the front of the church on a pedestal, they both broke down into tears
again. I felt James' knees buckle a little and I released Curtis' hand in
order to support James' weight.

"Are you alright, James?" I asked with great concern.

"I will be fine, Tim. I just need to sit down." he replied weakly. I
supported James and got him to his seat quickly. I looked back at Michael
and he just shrugged his shoulders. I took a seat next to James, and Curtis
sat on my other side. Michael sat next to Curtis. Mihai, Nicholas, and
Franklin filled out the pew. Everyone else took a seat behind us and the
service began. The priest spoke of Maggie's kindness and her faith in God.
He spoke of her love for her boys and her love of life.

Then he spoke the words that drive me insane every time I hear them. "Oh
death, where is thy sting? Oh grave, where is thy victory?" he said. Kind
words, meant to sooth the heart of the grieving. But as usual, they brought
little comfort. "Oh death, where is thy sting?" I thought. "Right here in my
arms. That's where!"

The priest finished his remarks and then informed the crowd that I would be
speaking a few words of eulogy for Maggie. I took a deep breath and squeezed
my boys before standing up and walking to the dais. "We have come to say a
final farewell to a wonderful person. I have seen a lot of children, in my
line of work, that have never known the security and protection of a loving
mother. I have heard many stories of mothers who love themselves more than
they do their own children. Mothers that would throw a child away because
the child did not fit their idea of the perfect child."

"Maggie Simmons was not one of these. I feel fortunate to have known Maggie,
if only for a brief time. Maggie loved life, and she loved to laugh. But
more than anything else, Maggie loved her boys. When life dealt her a
crippling blow, she thought of the needs of her children before her own. She
faced her impending death with dignity, honor, and great courage. I watched
as Maggie bravely sacrificed all, for the sake of her boys. I have never
know a finer woman, or a finer person, than Maggie Simmons. May your soul
rest in peace Maggie. You are loved, and you will be sorely missed." I
concluded.

I walked back to my pew and took my seat. Curtis leaned over and kissed me
on the cheek. "That was beautiful Dad. Thank you." he sobbed. I wrapped my
arms around my boys and held on tight. I knew that what was coming next
would be hard for them. There are few things in life more difficult than
passing by and paying final respects to a departed loved one. The priest
asked everyone to pass and pay their respects beginning with the immediate
family. I stood up and helped the boys to their feet.

I took the boys by the hand and walked them up to the roped area in front of
the pedestal. It did not take long for all hell to break loose. Curtis fell
to his knees screaming "I love you mommy". Michael raced to him and held him
tightly. I turned to look at James and his eyes rolled up in his head. He
suddenly went limp and I barely caught him before he hit the floor.

"Michael! Help!" I screamed as I carried James over to the pew and laid him
down. Michael let go of Curtis and ran to James. "Someone call 911!" I
yelled. The priest bolted for his office and I ran to hold Curtis who was
still on his knees. I lifted him up and led him to the pew opposite of where
James was laying. I sat down with him and held him tight. All of the
commotion scared poor Nicholas nearly to death.

"What's going on Uncle, Tim?" Nicholas cried. "Is Uncle James going to
heaven now too?" he asked. His words cut through me like a knife. I squeezed
poor Curtis so tightly it is a wonder I did not cut off his blood flow.
Franklin ran over and grabbed Nicholas and ran  out of the church with him.
Mihai came over and sat beside me. The priest came running back out and
informed us that an ambulance was on its way.

By the time the ambulance arrived, James had regained consciousness and was
trying to sit up. The paramedics made him remain still while they checked
him out. Michael walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's
okay, Tim. James is going to be fine. He just passed out." Michael stated. I
stood up and started to walk over to James and Michael stopped me. "No, Tim.
Let the paramedics take care of him." Michael said softly.

"Are you okay now Curtis?" I asked, still in a panic.

"I am fine, Dad. I am just worried about my brother." he replied through his
tears.

"Me too, son. Me too." I said, as I stood Curtis up and hugged him. We
watched as the paramedics checked James out and then I saw the head
paramedic hand James a piece of paper to sign. "What's going on?" I asked as
I walked over to them.

"We advised him that he needs to go to the emergency room to be checked out.
But he is refusing to go. So I am having him sign a standard refusal form."
the head paramedic informed me.

"Are you sure about this James?" I asked.

"I am fine, Tim. I just want to go home." he replied.

The paramedics collected their things and left. I scooped James up in my
arms and started towards the door. "Michael, get Curtis. We're going home."
I said as I made my way out of the church. "Mihai, would you see that the
urn gets to the airport?"

"No problem, Tim." Mihai replied. I ushered James into the car and Michael
soon followed with Curtis. Michael reached into his bag and pulled out a
syringe. I asked what he was doing and he told me he was just giving James a
mild sedative to help calm him down a bit. James did not argue about
receiving the shot and he dropped his trousers right there in the car.
Michael gave him the shot and then we were ready to roll. Mihai had
retrieved the urn and was now in his SUV. Mihai pulled out to take the lead
and Marcus followed him.

Mihai was driving like a bat out of hell towards the airport. It was all
poor Marcus could do to keep up. We reached the airport in record time. I
carried James onboard the plane and strapped him in. Michael and Curtis
boarded next and took their seats. I got back off of the plane and said
goodbye to Franklin, Mihai and Nicholas. "Is Nicholas alright?" I asked.

"He's fine now, Tim. You just look after our boys." Franklin replied. I
hugged the three of them and thanked them for being there for us. I took the
urn from Mihai and carried it onboard the plane. I handed it to the pilot,
who secured it in a storage bin behind his seat. The ground crew closed the
door and we were on our way home. Curtis spent the flight with his head
resting on Michael's shoulder. Michael had his arm around Curtis. James
slept comfortably for the entire flight.

I called the pilot on the cabin phone and instructed him to have the
ambulance waiting for us at the airport. I also had him arrange for someone
to drive James' quad back to the house. I tried to sleep for the remainder
of the flight but it was not going to happen. I sat there thinking about all
of the sadness that the last three months had brought into all of our lives.
We had all dealt with far to much sadness. It was time for a change of pace.

The plane landed and we got James loaded into the ambulance. Michael wanted
him to be taken to the infirmary, but I overruled him. He could treat James
at the house, and the counselor could see James there as well. I wanted
James in comfortable and familiar surroundings. He's been through a lot
recently and needs to be with people who love him. Michael said he would
stop by the house shortly. Curtis and I made our way to the changing room to
shed our dress suits. Then we followed the ambulance to the house on our
quads.

As the nurses were carrying James to the house on a stretcher, Cory came
flying out the door. "What happened?" he asked with concern.

"James fainted, Cory. He's going to be fine." I stated as I walked along
side the stretcher. We got James settled into his bed, and undressed. "Don't
even think about getting out of this bed for anything more than using the
bathroom until the doctor tells you otherwise, angel boy." I said before
bending down to kiss him.

"I am sorry I caused all of this commotion, Tim." he said with a tear in his
eye.

"You did not cause anything, my love." I stated. "If anyone is to blame, it
is me. I should have been taking better care of you. But I assure you that I
will not repeat that mistake again." I said lovingly. Curtis poked his head
in the door and asked if he could stay with James awhile. "Of course you
can, son." I replied. I kissed him as he passed me, on his way to the bed.
"You boys have a good rest." I said, as I kissed each of them and then left
the room.

It was nearing dinner time so I instructed Cory to serve James and Curtis in
bed. I would eat dinner out on the deck. I took the cordless and walked out
to my usual table. I called the booking department for Paradise Cruise Lines
and asked them if the owners suite was available for two weeks from Sunday.
They informed me it was. I told them to book me in the suite and I would
email them the details on the passengers that would be with me. Then I ended
the call.

On top of feeling completely drained, I had a major headache. When Cory
brought out my meal, I asked him for some aspirin and he retrieved them
right away. I took the aspirin and then ate my dinner. Michael had stopped
by while the boys were eating, to check on James. He joined me a short time
later. "How is James doing Michael?" I asked.

"He seems to be doing fine now. But I don't want him out of bed before
Monday. If he feels up to it, he can attend school Monday. But it is really
up to how he feels." Michael answered.

"Given the fact that James loves school, I am sure he will go if he feels at
all up to it. Did you talk to him about the counselor schedule?" I asked.

"I have him set up to speak to the counselor tomorrow and then again on
Wednesday. I want him to have at least four sessions with the counselor
before we back off on it. He has a lot he is dealing with emotionally and he
is not going to let it go overnight, Tim. It's going to take a lot of time,
love, and understanding." Michael stated.

"Thanks for all your help Michael. I am glad you were there with us in
Miami." I said as I shook his hand. I escorted Michael out and then returned
to my table to finish my dessert. After finishing my meal, I walked upstairs
and went into the master bedroom. The boys were finished with their dinner.
They were just laying there talking with each other. "How are you feeling,
angel?" I asked.

"I'm feeling much better, Tim." James replied. "I think I am okay to get up
now."

"Not so fast, angel boy. The doctor said you had to stay in bed until
Monday." I replied. as James gave me frown. "How are you feeling little
man?" I asked, as I lifted Curtis' chin.

"I am feeling better too, Dad." He replied with a smile.

"I have some news for you boys. Things have been getting a little too
serious lately and I think we need a vacation. So I booked us on a cruise,
two weeks from Sunday. We are going to spend Thanksgiving onboard Caribbean
Angels. How does that sound?" I asked.

"Alright! I have never been on a cruise before. Is it fun?" Curtis asked.

"It is so awesome Curtis. You have to try the full body massage." James
replied.

"So I take it you are both in favor of the idea?" I asked.

"Yes!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Good. Then it is all settled. I am going downstairs to handle a little
business. Curtis, you are welcome to sleep with us tonight if you would
like." I stated.

"I would like that a lot, Dad." he replied with a broad smile. "Can I stay
in here with James until bedtime?" Curtis asked.

"That would be very nice of you to keep your brother company." I stated,
before kissing Curtis on the forehead. I leaned in and kissed James on the
lips, and then left the two boys to chat. I walked downstairs to my office
and called Allen. Allen asked about the boys and I told him that they were
doing much better. I asked Allen if he had secured the urn. He told me he
had it safely secured in the Administration building until we decided on a
final resting place for it. I thanked him and ended the call.

With the boys upstairs busily planning out their cruise vacation, I decided
to sit out on the deck and enjoy some quiet time. I grabbed a soda and then
headed for the hot tub. The bubbling water felt so refreshing that I nearly
fell asleep in the hot tub. After thirty minutes in the hot tub, I climbed
out and dried off. I walked over and had a seat in one of the lounge chairs.
A few minutes later, Curtis walked up beside me.

"Hi son. Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I am a little confused about something. Can we talk?" he asked.

"I am always here for you, Curtis." I said as I pulled him down onto the
lounge chair to cuddle beside me. "What's on your mind?" I asked.

"When I first came here, I really felt like this was home. Even though you
were just my foster dad, you treated me like a real son." he explained.

"You have never been a foster son to me Curtis. You are simply my son, and I
love you very much." I replied.

"I love you too, Dad. After a while, it stopped feeling like you were my
foster dad. Now it just feels like I have always been your son. But I am
afraid that I hurt you this week." he replied.

"Why on earth would you think that, son?" I asked, with a puzzled look on my
face.

"I was clinging to Michael most of the time in Miami. I was hurting really
bad and I just wanted to be near him. But I should have wanted to be near
you. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings." he said with a tear in his eye.


"My dear sweet boy, you did not hurt my feelings at all. You were just
experiencing one of lives great mysteries. The love that you feel for me is
called filial love. It is the love shared between a parent and a child. It
is a very beautiful and powerful thing. But there is another kind of love
and that is called erotic love. This is the love that is shared between
boyfriends. It is not necessarily better than filial love. But at times, it
is much stronger." I explained.

"The heart is a very complicated thing, son. When it hurts the most, it
cries out for those we are 'in love with' more than those 'we love'. Do you
understand?" I asked.

"I think so. Are you saying that I am in love with Michael?" he asked.

"Only you can know that for sure, Curtis. But it looks that way to me." I
said lovingly.

"Do you think Michael is in love with me?" he asked.

"I think the best way to know that son, is to ask him." I replied, before
giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"So I didn't hurt your feelings?" he asked.

"Curtis, I will always be your dad. You will always have a special place in
your heart for me, and I for you. My job is to fill very special needs in
your life. But these are not the only needs you have. A boyfriend can meet
other needs you have that I simply can not. It is the way God designed us,
son. And there is nothing wrong with it at all. No son, you did not hurt my
feelings." I replied.

"I love you, Dad." Curtis said, as he reached up and kissed me on the cheek.
"Thanks for the talk." he stated, as he got up and headed back to the house.

"Any time, little man." I replied, giving him a gentle pat on the butt. I
leaned back in my lounge chair and smiled. "Oh, the sweet confusion of
adolescence." I thought to myself. I stayed out on the deck for a long time
just watching the stars. Everything seemed so peaceful and serene. Bedtime
finally arrived and I made my way up to the bedroom. I crawled in between my
son, and my lover. Then I cuddled them both against me.

"I miss mom." Curtis said in a sad voice.

"I know you do, son." I replied before kissing him on the forehead. I kissed
James goodnight and he returned my kiss. Curtis kissed me on the cheek and
snuggled tighter to my side. "Sleep well my angels. Tomorrow will be a
better day." I said, as I closed me eyes and drifted off to sleep.

James rested well over the weekend and he did feel up to going to school
Monday morning. With each day that passed, and each session with his
counselor, I saw the old James slowly returning to me. I took over James'
duties with the cruise line so that he could relax and just focus on school.
The boys would have to miss another three days in order to go in the cruise,
but I felt the vacation was necessary for all of us. Three days before the
cruise, Curtis asked to speak with me. We took a walk on the beach so that
we could have some privacy.

"Can Michael come on the cruise with us, Dad?" Curtis asked.

"I am afraid there are no more rooms available Curtis. And the Owner's Suite
only has two bedrooms." I replied.

"Michael could sleep with me in my bedroom." Curtis stated boldly.

"Are you sure you are ready for that, Curtis?" I asked.

"Dad! We would just be sleeping!" Curtis exclaimed.

"And what if Michael wanted more than that?" I asked.

"Michael would never do anything I did not want him to do." he replied
stubbornly.

"I know that Curtis. If I thought any different, he would not be seeing you.
But sex will eventually become an issue for the two of you. When it does, I
hope that you don't rush into anything." I stated.

"Would you consider oral sex as rushing into anything?" he asked pensively.

"It's a big step. But if the two of you feel you are ready for that, I would
not be overly concerned about it. But I don't believe you or Michael are
ready for anything more than that right now. Your relationship needs time to
grow." I replied.

"You and James had intercourse when he was twelve. I am almost thirteen." he
stated.

"That was very different, Curtis. James was forced to have intercourse in
order to survive. I was not his first, and we still waited a long time
before having intercourse. You are not forced to do anything to survive. You
have choices, son. I just hope you make the right ones. When the time is
right, you will know." I responded.

"I promise we will go slow dad. Don't you trust me?" Curtis asked, flashing
his innocent puppy dog eyes.

"I trust you son. Just know that I am here to talk whenever you need to." I
replied.

To be continued...