The warm summer in the winter cold

After lunch, I was starting to feel drowsy. I asked Jim if he was feeling tired too, and he too took a long yawn and said that he was ready to sleep. It was decided.

"Umm... Will you sleep with me?" Jim asked shyly, "... I don't wanna sleep alone"

I came near him and kneeled down, "Of course Jimmy, I will... do you want me to read you a story?"

"You will?"

"Of course.. Just like the old times" I told him patting his head. I used to read him stories when I lived with them, it had been a long time and I felt strangely nostalgic. I probably hadn't realized that so much time had passed since then, and how so many things had changed since then. And now I was with Jimmy, looking at me expectantly. It felt that I had one more goal in life, which was to keep Jim happy and safe. I smiled and held his soft warm hands in mine and for the first time, I saw him smiling. I held his hand tighter and we went to his bedroom. Jim went in his bed and pulled the covers while I turned on a heater. It was cold in here. I removed Jim's socks and saw his lovely feet squirming and hiding in the covers. He looked at me and I looked back and smiled and he smiled back. I came near him and slid his hair from his forehead caressing him gently while I read him a story. Before soon he was asleep. I saw some tears at the corner of his eyes but he had a content look. I kissed him gently on his forehead and left. He needed some space and sleep was best for now.

I made some hot coffee for myself and gazed outside the window. The sun was looking weak, snow will probably start in a month from now. I needed to gather things for my work so I went to my study. The afternoon was much less exciting, not that I had too much excitement going on anyway. Having come thus far, I probably think it is time I tell you more about myself. I am Kevin. And while I totally know I am bi, I still can't decide whether I want a guy or a girl in my life. I currently have a thing with Beth, my co-employee but I am not sure what she feels. It hasn't been that long since we started seeing each other, mind you. There had been many hookups here and there but nothing came out of anyone. Yes, one time I did fell for this guy named Kan. It went on for about a year which is the longest so far before I discovered that he was already hooking up with another girl. I told him off the next morning and he said that it was just one-night thing. I asked why he didn't tell me about it.

"I knew you would go mad at that"

"And so? Was I supposed to not be upset?"

"No it isn't that but..."

"But what Kan? Look it is simple, just decide one and go on... And please if you decide one, stick to it all the way okay?"

"Look Kevin.. I do feel strongly for you, but..."

"It is okay, don't speak no more. I understand completely,.. but never come back to me again"

With that, I hung the phone. It has been two years since then. I decided it was best to leave it at that. He still kept messaging me and always posted a message on my birthday. His last message said 'Sorry'. And he didn't really need to be that upset about it, everyone has to make choices. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a sting of pain when he broke like that, but I was over that now. I tried one time to ignite it back but I knew better than that. From there I just decided to take things slowly and wait for the 'right person'.

I took a sip of my coffee. Damn it had gone cold quickly. I finished it and went back to my work and wrapped some unfinished businesses here and there, A few phone calls and I was done. I dozed off in my chair and woke up an hour later. Sun had gone down and I looked in my phone, it was half past seven. I walked down to the hall and saw Jim reading something. I was happy.

"Looks like someone is busy.."

"It is just you who are busy," Jim said turning page, clearly he was upset with me spending so much time in work and forgetting about him which was true but not completely.

"Let us make up for that lost time," I said as I grabbed him and started to tickle him. He was a rolling ball of laughter and soon begged to be released.

"I am sorry... sorry Kevin.. please..." I stopped as I let him take a breather.

"You sure got me there"

"Hmmm.. Tom Sawyer huh?" I said looking at the cover title.

"Yeah.. have been reading it since my last school. I have already reached this far see"

"That is great... do you like Tom?"

"Yeah, he is fun and cool to hang out with I guess. And he is really smart too"

"Don't worry.. You will make many cool friends soon... And till that time you have me"

He came closer and seated in my lap. I reached across his shoulder and gently caressed him. He laid his head on my chest. He smelt of the shampoo he had had in the morning. I wrapped my hands around his small torso and he whimpered and moaned. I bought my face down his ears.

"Should we get up and have dinner?"

"Not yet... It feels really good."

"Is that so?"

He nodded, so I bought my face nearer and kissed his cheeks.

"You like that?" I asked

"Yes, please do it again," he said slowly

Who was I to say no to such an innocent request? I gave him quick small pecs and we just sat there for a long time enjoying each other. It was remarkable, surreal if I might go on and say. I had a newfound purpose now and I was looking forward to what might come next.