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Jimmy the Love-Virus.
By John T. S. Teller.
At ten in the morning, after we've waved goodbye to mum (but not before he's borrowed a travel rug so he can `take a nap' on the way home), Jimmy orders me to make the detour. The old oak tree is waiting for us, but this time, with both of us naked, under its splendid branches, we make love on the travel rug. Once for me, and twice for Jimmy, and then, because of the appointment, I insist we go. Jimmy's not too pleased, but he dresses when I insist. On the way back, he's got a grin on his face, and I ask him what he's grinning at.
"I'm thinking about when we go to bed tonight."
I laugh. "You should get a job in a porn film. You could do a double shift every day. Mind you, they'd run out of partners after a few days."
"Not if I selected them, I wouldn't. I'd start with David; move on to Gorgeous George, and then Donkey Dick, and then you."
I shake my head at him. "You really are the most perverted little sod I've ever known."
He smirks at me. "I know I am, and that's why you like sex with me."
"And why am I last on that list?"
Jimmy puts his hands behind his head, yawns, and smacks his lips. "Because I like to save the best for last, and I know that if I starve you for a while, I can get four times out of you."
"It's a pity you made us stop in Baby Wood then. After we'd abstained at mum's, you might have had a chance to repeat it tonight."
"I'm not too bothered. I'm like a cat; I've got seven lives left." (I shake my head, and laugh.) Jimmy stares at me. "What are you laughing at?"
"I'm just trying to come to terms with the metamorphosis of the shy young man who was playing cricket, and the ultra pervert who's sitting with me now. Never in a million years would I have suspected you were anything other than an innocent. And there was me considering that I was a child abuser when I went to see you play. Did you notice that I got dolled up for you that day? I made sure I was looking my best."
My hand is on the gear lever, and Jimmy places his hand on mine. "Yes, of course I noticed. I notice everything about you. My legs were trembling because I was so nervous that day. When I saw you arrive, I nearly pissed myself."
"That surprises me. I thought you were super confident that day, and when you knocked Ginger for six, I was really proud of you. And then when you and Sam knocked all those runs off, I could have kissed you both. You were brilliant."
Jimmy looks pleased at my compliments, and then he places his hand on my thigh. "Tell me again when you first fell in love with me, Rob."
I sigh. "It was instant. You walked across my lawn, and I just looked into your eyes, and that was it. Bump... hook, line and sinker. Robert Spencer was a lost soul. I was hoping you liked me, but I didn't dare go any further than that."
"Did you want to fuck me then?"
"No, it was the Wednesday after the Monday you walked across the lawn. After I'd read the second note you left for me. I was dead tired after writing all the previous day, and I went back to bed. Just before I went to sleep, I had a good time making love to you."
"You were dead slow. Once you'd looked me in the eyes, and I knew you liked me, I went to bed that night, and did it eight times with you. I deliberately didn't touch myself all day so I could have you properly when I went to bed. You wouldn't believe the perversions I got up to that night."
I grin. "I can imagine."
Jimmy grins. "Tell me about those boys you fancied when you were little."
I look at him, and I can see his eyes sparkling in anticipation of what I might say. "Mum only knew one half of it. When I was fourteen, I had two on the go at one time, and a girlfriend. I was madly in love with an eleven-year-old who had just started in the seniors. He was gorgeous, and you remind me of him, because he had blond hair and blue eyes like you."
"Did you have sex with him?"
"Yes. Well, sort of. We did it secretly, and never talked about it."
Jimmy's warming to the conversation. "Sounds kinky. And I like it. Tell me more."
"Well, the first time I felt something towards him was when we were on the school bus. It used to get packed, and by the time we got to school, it was always overcrowded... and it was unruly. So, they sent a teacher to organise it, because some of the seats were getting damaged, and stuff like that. I was always self-assured, and could look after myself, but I wasn't a bully. Anyway, Matthew Richardson was a gentle little boy, and he got on the bus when it was overcrowded and we were about half an hour away from the school. So, Mrs Waddington decided he would be safe sitting on my knee."
Jimmy's beaming. "This sounds really good."
I laugh. "At first, we were both dead shy, and I used to get wolf whistles, which made me sort of offish towards him. I'd give two fingers to the lads, and pretend he was a necessary evil forced on me by the dreaded Mrs Waddington. After a few days of this shit, it settled down, and then he began to look on me as his protector when we were at school. At playtime and lunchtime, he'd seek me out, and we'd chat about stuff. So I began looking forward to him sitting on my knee on the bus in the morning and at night, and instead of putting my school bag in my lap to keep him sitting right on the end of my knees, I put it on the floor so he could be more comfortable, and he began sitting further back, until he ended up sitting right in my lap."
"On Eccles? Wow, this is giving me a hard on. Did it give you one?"
"Of course it did, but I used to try and hide it, because he was only eleven."
Jimmy's gurgling now. "You fool, Spencer. Go on."
(I grab Willie, and squeeze him. Sure enough, he's excited. I take my hand away, and continue the tale, but Jimmy's hand settles on Eccles, and he doesn't take it away... and it's nice, so I don't remove it.) "Where was I? Oh yes, he's now settling back on my lap twice a day, and he used to lean on the seat in front, and if we hit a bump in the road, he'd push himself onto me. After about a month, we didn't need to go over a bump for him to do it, and he made an art of wriggling, with Eccles nestling nicely up his bum. I'm surprised you haven't asked where my hands were during all this hanky-panky."
"Let me guess. I reckon it was getting towards winter by now, and little Matthew would be wearing an overcoat of some sort, which he would take off when he got on the bus, and it would be folded on his knees, and one of your hands, the one nearest the window that nobody could see, would be on the top of his thigh?"
"Ten out of ten, Turner!"
Jimmy grins. "And then the bumps would dislodge your hand so, eventually, it was resting on his Willie, and then your fingers would, somehow, miraculously, start knocking him off - over the bumps of course?"
"Correct! But it gets better. One day, I put my hand on him, and Matty pushed it into his trouser pocket."
Jimmy laughs. "Aha, the old wank-in-the-pocket routine, and I'll bet you double sex tonight that he'd ripped a hole in it on purpose."
"Indeed he had, James. So, morning and night, he got off the bus with a big grin on his face. And that's about it."
"Didn't he ever do you?"
"Oh yes, but I'm not going to tell you about that now."
"I'll tell you in bed tonight."
"Dead right you will. In fact, tonight, Robert Spencer, I am a going to be Matthew Wotsisname. Now tell me about the other lad you were knocking off at the time."
"Oh him... Boris. He was the same age as me, and lived a few doors away, and he was almost as bad as you. He liked it like you do, and he was the first, ever, to have Eccles snuggled where he likes to be. (Jimmy removes his hand, and goes into a sulk.) What's up with you?"
"I'm jealous. I hate that Boris, and you're never to mention him again. Just drive on."
I laugh. "You haven't asked me about the girl I was going with."
"I'm not interested. Just drive on."
I have difficulty stifling my giggles during the rest of the drive home, and Jimmy remains sullen. When we reach the house, I activate the garage doors, drive in, close them, and switch off the engine. Jimmy's about to get out of the car, but I stop him. He looks at me, puzzled. Roughly, I push him back in his seat, kiss him passionately, undo his belt and jeans, and slip my hand inside them. Willie is soft. I'm amazed, and pull back, and stare at Jimmy. He growls at me. Undeterred, I grin, and wrestle his jeans and pants down, and continue fondling Willie, who, by now, can't resist my gentle touches, and even though Jimmy is still growling at me, begins to expand. When I'm sure I've won, I go down on him, finish the job, and get out of the car, leaving his pants around his knees. I'm in the lounge booting up the PC, when Jimmy comes in and thumps me in the back... and it's not a soft punch, either.
"What was that for?"
"You've just had sex without my consent. That's rape."
"Take me to court then."
"I'll do better than that; I'm going to give you a good hiding."
And Jimmy is on me like a mad dog. Now I understand why you should never mess with a Turner, because it takes all my strength to match him, and we end up wresting on the floor with me on top of him, holding his arms above his head. Even now, he's snarling and spitting and struggling, so I just lie on him and smother his temper as best I can. "Calm down, Jimmy... calm down. This isn't because of what I did in the car, is it?" Underneath me, I hear him sobbing, and, eventually, he relaxes. When I'm sure his tantrum is over, I ease myself away, and wipe his face. I won't kiss him until I'm sure he's ok.
He looks up at me through his tearful eyes. "Sorry, Rob. I'm really sorry."
"It's ok. I've upset you talking about Boris, haven't I? (He nods.) You've no need to be jealous of him, or anybody else. He was nothing compared to you; he was just sex. I'm having difficulty understanding why you're angry with me when I wasn't your first lover." Jimmy shrugs, and turns his head away, so I roll off him, find his hand, hold it, and lie back on the floor beside him. Jimmy needs to come out of this himself. I look at the back of his head, and want to stroke away his hurt, but I refrain from doing so. Eventually, he turns to me, and we stare into each other's eyes. I'm really puzzled at his overreaction, and I sense there's something much deeper than my revelation that's upset him, and my gaze is questioning. He realises that I'm not fooled by the simple matter of him not being my first proper lover, and he drops his eyes.
"Rob, I'm angry, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you, because I'm angry with myself more than anything."
"What are you angry about?"
"I've told you a lie. Chris wasn't my first time."
I let go his hand, and stroke his cheek with the back of my fingers. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
He nods, and, through his tears, tells me all about his affair with Uncle Pete. Usually, he boasts about how young he was when he was first sexually aware, but now, it's matter of fact, and regretful and conciliatory, and with even a certain amount of shame at what he did. I've no doubt that, on the couch, this would be the defining moment for whatever psychiatrist was treating him, because now there was cause and effect: a point at which Jimmy became a homosexual. It's piffle, of course, because it's far more complex than that. In argument, I would question why it is that Jimmy's sexual gratification comes from within him, and not exclusively via his penis, although that also likes to be pleasured. No, I'm quite sure that the Uncle Pete affair was not causal, but an aid to finding himself. I won't tell him my thoughts now, because this is not the time, but I will need to talk about it later. The fact that he's withheld it from me up to now, demonstrates that he needed to out it. But how do I deal with it?
There's only one way - lots of loving, so I smile at him, pull his head to me, and kiss him softly. "I'm sorry, too, Jimmy. I shouldn't have done that to you in the car. I should have known that you were hurting more than you let on. It was insensitive of me. Am I forgiven? (He smiles a sad smile, and nods.) We have discovered one thing, though."
"Willie loves me, even when you don't, and do you know how I know that? (Jimmy giggles, and shakes his head.) Because his love is in my tummy. Shall we ask him if he wants to give me some more?"
"No. You can ask him tonight. You've got an appointment."
I look at my watch, undo his jeans, slip my hand inside, and fondle him until he's erect. "I've got about an hour before the appointment. Besides, I need to apologise big style to Willie for raping him."
Jimmy laughs, pushes his jeans down below his knees, pulls his upper clothes to his shoulders, and lies back. "You'd better get on with it then, or you'll be late."
I kiss him. "Willie's more important than appointments." And then I go to work.
When I'm ready to leave, Jimmy is still lying on his back on the floor, with no jeans and no pants on. I kneel beside him, open his mouth with my fingers, place my lips on his, seek out his tongue, and suck every vestige of saliva from it, and then I get up to go.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're the most beautiful man ever?"
"Just one person. And he's the only one that matters to me. Will you be ok? (He nods) Are you going to see Sam? (He shakes his head.) What are you going to do then?"
"I'm going to bed and have a good cry, because I love you so much."
I nod and smile. "Ok. But don't overdo it. Just remember that I love you more than anything in the world, and, because I love you so much, I often shed a tear when you're not with me. I'll only be a couple of hours, and then I'll come to you."
He smiles, and I leave.
On the drive to the solicitors, I can't stop thinking about what has just happened, and also that I've left Jimmy lying on the floor. Something is just not quite right. It's worrying me, and I think about turning round and going back to him. But I don't. Nevertheless, something is nagging at me, and I'm worried.
To be continued...
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