Date: Sat, 28 Jun 2008 13:07:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: keener29@yahoo.ca
Subject: Johnny's-story Chapter 1 (AY)

The standard disclaimer applies.
Nobody or nothing was hurt during the creation of this
fantasy.
If you are too young to be here, then THEY want you to
leave,
so be a good kid. I am powerless to stop you though.
If you are not a human being, and have no compassion and are
incapable of loving someone unconditionally then what are
you doing here anyway?
If you just wanna fight, well then, shove your head up some
oriface
and fight for breath, otherwise constructive criticism is
welcome.
And as for the rest of you, enjoy the story and if you wanna
chat.
E. male, it's that simple
keener29@yahoo.ca

Johnny's story.  (Adult youth)
The miracle.
chapter 1

I am 16 and parked off in front of my computer, I have never
felt the need to write anything down before, no motivation
maybe, but today I have an urgent need to just let it all
out, so to speak he he.
K, how does one start?, dunno really, cept that I am
bursting to let everyone know how awesome I feel today.
I sit down, get comfortable, I place my long fingers on the
keyboard, and I smile when I notice how my pinkies are
lifted up, poised for a push, and my perfectly shaped thumbs
fold backwards before I start typing, it looks kinda cute,
almost sexy he he.

I have just turned 16, I have light brown straight hair that
I wear quite long, bangs over my forehead, I have extra
large appealing green eyes adorned with long eye lashes,
(Jenny is soooooo envious, he he.) I have a nice build,
there is the cutest, most lickable navel and  developing six
pack on my flat tummy , I am nicely tanned, cept for, well
you know where I have a tan line.
I wear a speedo when swimming, I look great in one, makes me
feel sexy... I know for sure you see.
I have beautifull hands and feet, long well shaped legs with
nice calves that make many people look twice, I walk tall,
my shoulders held back, my head held up proudly, my hair
bounces lightly and whifts in the slightest of breezes, I
can feel it as I walk with that slight bounce in my step,
see, I have so much self confidence.
I feel smart, I get good grades, I do well in swimming,
tennis and track sports, I am the perfect teen boy who has
many friends, and a girl friend Jenny. (She's a bit of a
tomboy actually and that's what I like about her, just
another good friend who understands me.)
I have another good quality that was making me very popular
at school, I had many friends now, especially among the
younger kids, a kinda hero thing I suppose.

Well, here's an account of only one of many such occasions.
See, I would always look around during lunch breaks, and
especially take notice if younger kids were being bullied,
then I would intervene, by force if necessary.
I would also seek out anyone who seemed to be alone.
You know the signs, head dropped forward, shoulders slumped,
looking up nervously now and again, then cautiously scanning
for something, anything or anyone who could alleviate some
of the loneliness, feelings of rejecting and worthlessness
that he has to bear from day to day ... but after a short
while his head drops and he crawls back into his shell
again, he has no self confidence, is so afraid of making eye
contact because he is so desperately shy and feels that
nobody would want him for a friend anyway, he has nothing to
offer afterall.
I would approach him, and stand in front of him, he
immediately feels his space being invaded, he would lift his
head just enough so that his eyes can look at me
momentarily, he blushes, starts fidgeting,  breaths faster
and almost shits himself, he feels trapped like some wild
animal.
I know exactly what it feels like, I was there only
recently.
He thinks to himself.

Here's this most incredible looking boy standing in front of
him, but why?, what's he want from a runt like him?

"Hi, my name is Johnny, what's your's?
He almost gasps, fidget's some more, his hands shaking
noticeably, sort of cocks his head sideways a little, his
black bangs move out of his eyes, he looks frightened and
apprehensive, like he could just up and dash off to
somewhere safer at any moment.
As our eyes meet, I smile my killer smile at him, he looks
up at me, his eyes boring into my very soul.
"W ... Wesley ... but why do you wanna know, do you feel
sorry for me or something? ... why do you even care
anyway...?
I notice the glistening in his light grey eyes, the onset of
tears, he looks hurt, flustered and listless, but very deep
inside of him, he feels a tiny little bit of hope, then he
just shakes his head lightly from side to side as he drops
it down again to stare at his feet.

I kinda expected this, it's almost always the same, I
realise that I've got one chance to get this right.
"Well, Wesley you have a nice name, ummmm ... may I sit with
you at lunch breaks please, I wanna get to know you ... you
know ... I think we could be friends and hang out and stuff,
how bout it hey? ... please say yes."
He looked up so cautiously, still in that cute sideways,
suspicious manner, his eyes met mine again momentarily, I
put on my best pout.
"C'mon Wesley, please."
Then he slowly lifted his head and managed to look me in the
eyes again, this time he looked serious and curious, maybe
checking for any sign of insincerity on my part.
He looked so sad and vulnerable, I wished I could give him a
life saving hug, but there were too many eyes, and it might
embarass him.
"Why though Johnny, I don't get it, you can get other
friends, why me out of all these kids around here, just tell
me why."
I had to think fast, my brain was in top gear and then it
struck me, just tell him the truth Johnny.
"Because Wesley, yeah, I do feel compassion for you, not
pity, and I am definitely not messing with you. You see, I
was right here where you are now, for years you know, it
hurt so bad, I longed for someone, something to just give me
the time of day, but I did not know what to do to make that
happen.
Just a friendly hi, how are you, would have helped me then,
but nothing ever happened, I felt so empty and worthless,
then one day on my 13 th birthday a miracle happened."
He suddenly looked me more directly in the eyes, he blushed
so sweetly, and seemed to muster up some courage, he
breathed in deeply, smiled so slightly.
Then he looked serious again, he bit his bottom lip, slowly
moving it from side to side under his white teeth, the
tension was killing me.
"K ... then, but only if you tell me all about the miracle."
Then he smiled, looking all goofy and apprehensive,
fidgeting again.
"Ok, I'll tell you about the day I stopped existing and
started to live ... if you want me to."
He suddenly looked relieved, almost excited, like a kid
waiting for a surprise, he reached for me and grabbed my
windbreaker.
"When, when Johnny, when will you tell me, I wanna know
please, please ... I am soooo curious, can you tel me now
... and you can sit with me every break, and we can hang out
and stuff, maybe we can visit and it will be cool ... and
whatever."
This was by far not the same guy that I saw a few minutes
ago, he was going at a hundred miles and hour, almost
jumping up and down, and I knew that now I could either help
him or totally destroy him, he suddenly let go of my
windjammer, patted it lightly and started fidgeting and
looked all goofy.
"Sor ... sorry Johnny, didn't mean to ... get all carried
away... grab jour jacket, I'm so sorry..."
I knew how he felt, the insecurity, the fear of messing
things up, of going back to where he was a couple of minutes
ago, he was bursting to bare his soul to, someone who would
care to listen to him and share a laugh with him for God
knows how long until now.
"No man, hey dude ... everything's so totally cool K. we
will get together and talk our hearts out, very soon, and
thanks for saying yes."
He looked relieved, smiled lopsided and his eyes sparkled
innocently. I looked past him and said in my mind, from
Wesley and me, thank you Peter.

Even my sister and younger brother Kyle, love me now, I am
always chasing, teasing and fooling around with them, they
love it.
Was I always this way, hell noooo ....
Yeah, you were almost thinking that I was so full of myself,
boasting and all that stuff, well, read this and decide for
yourself what to make of it all.

We found a quiet corner in the courtyard, I sat down in
front of him, and with
Wesley hanging on my lips, I started telling him about, 'the
miracle'.

"See Wes..ummm, may I call you Wes by the way?"
He looked at me, he smiled so warmly, blushed lightly and
nodded eagerly.
"Ok, Johnny, YOU may call me Wes."
Well...about three years ago it happened, I was almost 13
then, we rented a house, and next door lived a guy, his name
is Peter.
Well, ever since we moved in three years before that, I
noticed that a boy of about 14 or so visited them regularly
on weekends, sometimes two others were also there.
I could see into his garage from my room, I don't think he
was aware of this though, and many times when they got out
of the car, the boy would hug him tightly for a long time
and he would rub his back and smile, the boy always looked
so happy as they mock punched and teased each other and
laughed out loud.

I was so envious, no, jealous actually, of his friends,
because I had no one, so I attempted to befriend him, but my
mother said that I would only be a nuisance.
One day our garage door would not open, so my mom called him
over to help, he came over and had it working in no time, he
was so friendly, his voice so comforting, then he looked
down and saw me, he crouched and greeted me, said what
awesome eyes I had, I was only 11 then and very shy, but I
remember feeling so good.
"Thanks, mister, my name is Johnny." I managed to squeak.
"Nice eyes, nice name, nice hair and, wow, those long
eyelashes, mam he is gonna charm the girls silly one day."
I blushed something terrible as he said this to my mom,
while looking down at me, and yeah, it felt pretty damn
good.

Why did I feel so good? well, I always wanted to sit on my
dad's lap, watch TV,
and when I heard him run the shower, I was curious to be
with him, yearned for him to wash my hair, anything just to
feel him touch me, love me and show it.
I wanted him too shoot me off his shoulders in the pool,
splash and frolick around with me, carry me on his back and
put me into bed, tickle me and blow farties on my tummy,
maybe even lie by me as I drifted off into a blissfull
sleep.
I craved for his attention more and more as I grew older, I
was almost 13 by then, yes I craved and hoped and prayed for
years that he would rough house with me or just fucking
ANYTHING with me, to show me that he loved me just a little
bit.
All, boys need that in their developing years, otherwise
they would also become useless dads one day and their kids
will suffer like I did.
I never got a compliment from him ever, It just was not
fair.
I started becoming more obsessed with my neighbor when I
heard his friend laughing and splashing around in his pool,
they chased each other around outside and the boy squealed
with laughter as Peter played with him.
Their basement window was open most times and faced directly
towards our house and my bedroom window, I sat their many
times, crying silently as I heard them laugh and talk non
stop as they played computer games, and his friend made bets
with him and teased him. I heard his friend tell him how he
didn't wanna go home and just wanted to stay with him for
ever.
I was so jealous during all those years, I would have given
anything to be with him, but his friend was always there on
weekends, or we went out and I just never had the
opportunity to befriend him, I knew he would have liked me
though, I was cute as hell all my life.
I went over to get some game for our computer one Saturday.
My mom phoned and spoke to his wife, so he did not expect
me, she sent me straight down to the basement where he hung
out many times, I walked in the door and saw him and his
friend on the bed, watching 'Never ending story' together.
I was so envious, his friend lay against him, his arm across
his chest, head on his shoulder, his leg over his groin
area, and Peter was gently running his fingers through the
smiling boy's hair, they looked so good together, so
contented, I tore up inside but kept my composure, well I
thought so at the time.
He saw me.
"Oh,  hi Johnny ... this is Shawn, Shawn this is Johnny, he
is our neighbor."
Shawn seemed non plussed as he gave me his hand, he just
smiled coily then lay back down and hugged Peter, fuck that
looked sooo beautiful.
Then Peter said.
"Sit down Johnny, wow man, you have grown since I last saw
you, your'e almost a teen now, you really should come over
some time so we can play computer games, and you can give me
a hard time huh, what do you say?"
I did not answer, I just looked towards Shawn, then back at
him.
I saw Shawn look up at him momentarily, then give him a jab
in the tummy with his elbow, then he continued watching the
movie.
"Well what brings you over stranger?"
Peter asked.
"May I borrow your 'Star Craft' CD please, I have nothing to
do so I wanna try to play it."
"Hey dude, anything for you, just hold on a sec, I'll get it
for you."
"No ... I will get it for him."
Shawn suddenly said, and got off Peter and scooted over to
the CD rack.
I sneaked a look at where Shawn's thigh must have been
moments before, and it looked so full there, and I blushed,
when I thought of how good it would feel to be allowed to
have my arm and leg over him like that.
He found it quickly, walked over and handed it to me, almost
like he wanted to convey to me that Peter's place was his as
well, I saw his eyes narrow very slightly as he glared at me
for a second, then lay down by Peter again, hugged him
close, head on his shoulder and threw his leg over Peter's
groin again like nothing happened, what was that about, I
hope he did not catch me staring.
I sooo wished it was me, but, sigh ... oh well ... whatever.
"K, thanks again Peter, I will look after it for you, gotta
go...bye."
I said as I sauntered out of the room, my head was spinning,
I was crying inside and felt so worthless and unwanted at
that moment.
"K, Johnny, my pleasure hey? give my regards to your fam,
and give Kyle a hug from me please, remember to come over
any time if ya wanna, K?"
I wheeled round at the door just to see Shawn elbow Peter in
the tummy again. He wasn't gonna share him easily and I did
not blame him one bit, it just hurt all the more though, so
I went upstairs and with slumped shoulders I walked home,
with a craving in my heart eating me up inside.

I Saw Wesley wipe away a tear, then he squeezed my shoulder.

I was introverted, I was nasty to my siblings most of the
time, my grades were not good ever, I had no friends at
school, I don't think I wanted any anyway.
My mind was posessed by the beautiful picture of Peter and
Shawn, looking so  happy together.
Many times I heard the happy sounds of playing and laughing
from next door as he terrorised his son and daughter, them
screaming uninhibited as they enjoyed their quality time
together.

Wesley nodded, he knew exactly how I felt.

I was desperate so I attempted to approach my dad, but he
seemed so uncomfortable when I attempted to hug him, sit on
his lap, or when I asked if I could wash his back in the
shower.
"What for he snapped."
I shrugged my shoulders, I was craving for his attention,
even a little bit of  closeness from him.
"Never mind." I said softly.
I still loved him, even though he always shunned me, but I
was also afraid of him.
I never saw him naked, or he me naked, he always wore shoes
or slippers, he was never bare chested.
Their bedroom door was always closed, just like the door to
his heart.
We were never allowed in, even if we needed something.
I was reaching puberty, and that made things even worse, I
had questions, I could not ask my mom and when I asked my
dad if I may ask him about guy stuff, he looked embarassed
and said that he could not answer me.
"Don't  you have a friend you can trust?"
He asked,.
"Uncle Dave or Uncle Dan maybe, they talk to you sometimes."
"I will never ask them dad, I have nobody, won't you tell me
please dad?"
I begged.
"I said , NO Johnny, can't you just wait untill you are
grown up, you will find out about these things in time, I
just can't talk to you about it, so don't ask me again."
I did not answer, I knew someone who would talk to me, but I
was way too shy and he already had a happy friend around
him.
But one day I would muster up the guts, yeah, one day, yes,
I will ask him when the time is right, I smiled and walked
out, my dad had his chance to enjoy his son, I knew how cute
I am, his loss, so fuck him.

Time went by so painfully slowly, and my yearning became
more obsessive.
I wanted what Shawn had, I bet that he was purring the whole
time, he looked so happy, so did Peter, what they shared was
so beautiful to me.
I knew for sure that I needed that kind of friendship
desperately, I wished so hard that my dad could be just a
little bit like him, then he would be proud of me, I know,
he would hug me every day when I felt sad, and talk to me
about stuff.

Wesley just sat there, looking sad when I said something
that hurt me, and smiling coyly when I mentioned Peter.

"Johnny...ummmmm...I would love to meet Peter... you know
what I mean." He looked down all embarassed like, then up at
me again, almost like he expected me to be mad at him or
something.
"Yeah, I'll invite you over some time, then we can go over
there so you can meet him, ok?"
Wesley blushed, the cutest goofy smile playing on his lips,
he seemed so  excited.
"When...when Johnny, this weekend maybe, please, I so can't
wait already."

I knew how he felt and my heart went out to him and I just
could not wait to experience the meeting of Wesley and
Peter, I was gonna have so much fun, you know, Wesley being
at a loss for words and blushing and getting embarassed and
stuff he he.
Then I continued, Wesley was glued to my lips.

My 13 th birthday came up and my mom asked if I wanted a
party, I was becoming a teen offically after all.
I said, no, what for I had no friends and I would just make
a jerk of myself anyway.
My mom looked so sad, I felt bad, and just then I hit on
this idea, yeah, just maybe it could work,  mmmmm, scheeeem
Johnny, this might just be your chance.
From being totally listless and down, I suddenly felt a
surge of energy and hope enveloping me.
"Ok mom, lets have a birthday bash for me, we'll make the
best of it."
She asked who I thought of inviting and I said that maybe,
Jenny and a few class mates, they might not come though, but
that I would like it if the neighbors could come over.
She said she would invite them for sure and that she would
leave the other invites over to me.

Little did I know that Peter might not be there, see, he
felt broken hearted about Shawn moving to another city far
away.
But fate had other plans and was setting him up for me.
Peter eventually caved in, his wife saying that it will do
him good just to be amongst friends for a while and that the
food will be good, she would make her grit pie that
everybody loved and there would be lotsa desert, he loved
desert.

Well I was so excited about him coming over, I did not know
then how close it was though that he wouldn't show.
I couldn't care less about anyone else being there, I was on
my "I'm so gonna get Peter" mission he he, and...stuff Shawn
by the way, he will just have to get used to sharing him.
I would not have thought that if I knew about him leaving.
Funny how when one is young and naive, things will just
always work out, oooooh, if I only knew, I think I would
have had a happy attack.

Wesley was checking me out, eager for me to continue.

People started arriving, I was nervous, I couldn't keep
still, Jenny gave me a kiss on the cheek and a nice card, a
few class mates arrived and gave me high fives, well wishes
and little gifts, music CD's and stuff mostly, my dad gave
me some money and a half hearted hug.
My mom kissed me on the mouth in front of almost everyone,
oh man, was I ever so embarassed.

Wesley smiled, feeling my  embarassment, I was starting to
like him.

I got a panic attack, Peter and them weren't here yet, what
was wrong?  Then just as I was about to go into sulk mode,
they rang the bell, I literally flew to the door and yanked
it open, his wife and kids wished me all the best, and gave
me sweets and cards, then walked in to join the guests, we
were suddenly alone together, my heart had never beaten so
wildly, I was nervous as hell.

See, this is what happens when one scheems and plan too
much...what am I gonna do? I just don't wanna fuck this
opportunity up.

He grabbed my hand, I shuddered, I looked up and saw that
his eyes were a little red and puffed, he looked me in the
eyes.
"Sorry, hope it's not too obvious... we are late because I
was on the phone with Shawn, you remember him, well, he's
moving far away and was not taking it to well, I feel so
sorry for him, we are gonna miss each other something bad
you know, anyway, happy birthday young man, I wish you too
much happiness in the years to come and good health, here I
got you a little something, hope you like it."
He handed me a wrapped up box, I shook it, what a duh thing
to do.
I was nervous ok, so I had he right to act stupid, not so?
I heard something moving inside, and he suddenly smiled and
laughed at me, I was so happy, I just could not care any
more, I jumped him an hugged him, holding the box behind
him, he slowly put his arms around me and hugged me so
gently that my legs felt weak, I inhaled the fragrance of
his cologne while he rubbed my back lightly, I was holding
on for dear life.
"I't's ok, it's ok Johnny, it's just something small, I
think we better join the guests now, don't you think big
boy?"
I felt him release me, and I teared up, he said, 'big boy'
it sounded so good, this was way too much for a hurting
young boy to handle.
I looked down shyly, he wiped my tears away so gently, the
look on his handsome face was one of pure compassion, caring
and something else that calmed me immediately.
I let go if him and smiled weakly.
"Th ... thanks Peter, f .. for the the present, you know and
... and. "
"And the hug ... it was from my heart Johnny, how else, I
have always had a soft spot for you in here."
Then he put his hand on his chest and I melted completely.

Wesley wiped away another tear, he did not even try to hide
it any more.

"K, th ... thanks again, s ... see you later." I stammered
and scooted out of there before I made a total dufus of
myself.
I went to my room to put my present away and checked in the
mirror to make sure that my eyes were dry, they were so huge
anyway, anybody can see my soul through them easily.
I looked presentable, walked back to my guests, and they
clapped and sung for me, I just stood there looking all
goofy untill they were done, man, how embarassing.
Everybody went about their business feeding their faces, and
I had a panic attack when I did not see him immediately,
then my heart felt warm as I spotted him sitting near my dad
and the other men.
I mingled a bit,chatting briefly to everyone and munching on
the nice spread, after a while I noticed that everyone was
chatting to somebody, Jenny was with my sister, giggling and
talking ... girls, oh well.
The boys were all chatting together and stuffing their
faces, the men were drinking beer and talking crap, and my
mom and the women were gossipping about whatever, or whoever
more likely.

Then it hit me, I was on my own again, nothing had changed,
the sad after effects of my dad's uninvolvement with me.
I am the only one who is suffering and to some extent my
siblings.
My dad would allow Lillian to sit on his lap sometimes, but
not me or Kyle, I feel so sorry for Kyle actually, he's so
lovable and needs attention and I shun him sometimes,
because, how can I show affection if I don't get any myself?

Anyway everybody was involved, so I moved closer and closer
to Peter who was not actually joining the other men, as I
found out later, he does not drink, smoke or like talking
shit about politics, rugby and all the usual rubbish that
most men talk about.

While I stood there, one of the men said something about his
son and friend being too close and that he was gonna beat
the crap out of him if he catches them fooling around, then
all the men there agreed and added their hate 'queers' and
'fags' comments, my dad included.
I felt a pang of fear, I was so hurt, because I cannot hate
anyone, even those queer and fags, whatever that meant, I
had no idea, I just felt sorry for them, they were human
beings afterall. I felt digusted and walked away towards
Peter where I could not hear them any more.

Kyle was also by himself, but having a ball with all the
eats and stuff, he he.
He stuffed his plate so full and with a tin of Fanta in one
hand and a paper plate in the other he walked towards me,

 Kyle was very accident prone actually.

He was very near Peter and was looking at him while walking.

I think he was gonna speak to him about the game we loaned
from him, he mentioned something to me earlier.

Then it happened, his foot caught the stupid fold out table
leg, his eats landed all over Peter's trousers, his fanta
landed on the concrete and sprayed everywhere, and he landed
right in front of Peter's feet.
He jumped up, tried to wipe some of the cream and stuff off
Peter's pants, making it worse.

Wesley giggled, his voice sounded full of mischief.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please I'm sorry, I'll go get a
cloth, just wait, I'm sorry, didn't mean to, don't be angry
please, wasn't on purpose."
Then my dad's voice thundered.
"Kyle, you clumsy stupid little boy, how many times have I
not told you that you must look where you are going,
dammit."
He walked over menacingly, and looked over at me, as if to
apologise for his son's behaviour.
Peter stood up and moved in between my dad and Kyle, who was
about to piss his pants.
"Hey, Jeff, never mind man, it's ok really, just an
accident, he's just a kid with too many limbs and over sized
feet, just let it go, I'm fine, let's just enjoy the party
for Johnny here, and he turned and looked me in the eye, I
blushed and looked down,"
"Well ok then, but if you mess up again little man then it's
me and you and my belt, UNDERSTAND."
Kyle just nodded, then I saw the wet patch in his pants,
Peter saw it too.
He crouched down before the trembling Kyle, tears running
down kyle's cheeks.
"I'm so sorry ... your nice pants, ohhh I'm such dork,
sniff."
I couldn't believe what happened next, Peter gently pulled
Kyle into his arms, he hugged him so softly, I move closer
to see it, then he said softly, his mouth close to Kyles ear
and in front of everyone who was enjoying the spectacle.
"Kyle, you did nothing wrong young man, accidents happen lil
dude, so don't worry, ok."
I could see my brother's face from my postion, he smiled
then nodded his head, Peter patted him on the back very
gently and let him go, wiped away the tears, and said.
"Right Kyle, get us a scoop and I'll help you clean up and
then we can have fun again,  ok?"
I watched in awe, as they cleaned up, I started helping, we
laughed at the whole thing as Peter smeared cream on Kyles
nose, he giggled, he was so cute when he giggled so freely.
We were almost done.
Then Kyle stood in front of Peter who was still kneeling
down, his face almost splitting in half with his huge smile,
his missing tooth making him look so adorable, then he
hissed like a snake and suddenly dabbed cream onto Peter's
nose, his wife laughed, the kids nearby had fits of
laughter.
Then something magical happened.
Kyle suddenly panicked and attempted to escape, but Peter
caught him easily, he started tickling him, Kyle squirmed,
squealed with laughter, the tears were running over his
blushing cheeks.
"Stop,  stoooooopp... " He squealed, and Peter let him down.
"Tell you what Kyle, go put on some clean shorts, while I
try to de-cake my pants, then you come back and we'll get
some food for both of us, ok"
Kyle beamed with happiness, the only one whe looked serious
still was my dad.

Well  fuck him, he went too far this time, spoiling my
party.

Everyone settled down, my mom thanked Peter for the way he
handled it all, and I decided there and then that this
wonderfull man was going to be answering ALL my 'questions'

Afterall, what did my dad say? 'someone I trusted' fine
then.

After that incident, Peter, kyle and I walked around, we
talked about computer games, fishing, skiing and lotsa fun
stuff, some of my friends actually joined us, we laughed at
his silly jokes and loved listening to his stories.
I was a little jealous because Kyle was sitting on Peter's
lap almost the entire time.
Peter would chat to us all and when Kyle looked up at him
and wrinkled his nose, Peter would tap it gently, Kyle just
smiled, he looked so in love with this awesome man, and I
could do nothing but approve whole heartedly.

I saw how much a child would offer to someone, if he was
given just a little love, Kyle could be a boy for the first
time, he felt free to express himself, awwww, it was so
adorable, I was gonna make sure to rope this man in for the
both of us, and soon.

"Yes, Johnny, just do it, make friends with him, you won't
be sorry... ok, tell me more please Johnny, everything
please, don't leave anything out please." Wesley chirped
excitedly, his enthusiasm motivating me to continue.

For years now I prayed and prayed that God would help me, I
prayed for a Peter in my life, just like Shawn had, so that
I can feel cared for and my fragile and vulnerable spirit
could start healing.
My life was like this thousand piece jigsaw puzzle up until
then, not one single piece fitted into another one, but on
this wonderfull day, I found that the blue sky and bright
sunshine pieces just started to fall into place, it felt
awesome.
Looking back now, the timing of it all, my birthday, us
moving in next door, me seeing them so happy together, the
way he was with Kyle, and Shawn leaving at that exact time
seemed like a signal to me.
I turned away from the group gathered around Peter, walked
until I was away from everyone, I looked up, closed my large
eyes.

"Dear Lord, I have prayed for so long now, please lend Peter
to Kyle and me for a while, you know how much two very
desperate boys need him now, please Lord, we need him so
much, and I promise I won't hurt him eve... amen."

I opened my eyes, turned around, it was very quiet all of a
sudden, then I saw it, there was Peter with Kyle next to
him, the others had left, they were smiling at me, I stood
for a long while, just staring and felt warm and
gratefull...
Peter sort-of flicked his head, then held out his hand.
C'mon Johnny, lets get dessert ... "
And I knew that it was gonna happen, dessert was about to be
served.
The awfull broccoli and pea soup was something of the past.

The rest of the party went quite well, Kyle didn't destroy
anything again he he, an my dad remained calm, I just hope
that he noticed how Peter treated us and maybe he would open
up to us, but sadly it never happened.
Kyle and I helped mom tidy up, then I went to my room,
closed the door and opened my presents, the cards and CDs
were nice, then as I was about to open Peter's gift, I
froze, I could not do it, what was going on wih me, it's
just a present for crying out... but was it?
I sat for minutes on end trying to muster up enough courage
to just do it, I inhaled deeply, then slowly I took the nice
paper, with kittens playing, off, not wanting to tear it, I
removed it eventually.
Oh my goodness, the deluxe chest version of the game that I
always wanted, my hands trembled, I opened the beautiful lid
slowly, took out the booklets, opened them absently, then
closed them again, then I folded open the four CD box, I was
so excited, I unclipped each one, looked at both sides, and
carefully put it back, I felt so happy.
I was about to put it back when I saw it, a peice of paper
sticking out of the plastic wrapper of the warranty, I was
shaking as I pulled it out, my eyes teared up instantly.
Happy birthday Johnny, in the fanciest 3D writing I have
ever seen, the colors blended in beautifully, the shadows
perfect, it must have taken hours of loving care to produce
it.
I folded it open and through my tears I read it out loud to
myself,  my voice breaking up and all squeaky.

"Johnny, I have wanted to write you and give you this ever
since that day that you came over and saw Shawn and me, see
I am not insensitive, I saw how sad you looked, I sensed
your discomfort and felt your loneliness.
Yes I wanted to hold you close to me to comfort you, after
Shawn gave you that look and your face just dropped, I was
heartbroken because with him there I felt helpless to lessen
your pain. I did not want to upset either of you, that's
just how I am see.
Anyway, hope you enjoy your present, and, by the way, I have
one more for you, you can reject or accept it, I will
understand, I want you to listen to your heart Johnny.
I am giving you my friendship, just like I did to Shawn, to
talk to me if you feel the need, a shoulder to cry on for
you and Kyle if you need me, a place to hang out whenever
you want to, so feel free to pester me as much as you want,
I like you both very much, now go enjoy the rest of your day
champ.
Happy birthday big boy,
Your'e so totally awsome,
Lotsa love,
Your Peter."
The tears ran freely down Wesley's cheeks, I also felt
overcome with the emotion of the moment and teared up as
well.
We looked at each other and smiled weakly.
"Sniff...that was so incredible Johnny...a miracle hey?"
Wesley managed to say in a broken up voice.

So I continued, I was bubbling over to tell someone how I
was feeling.

I have never felt like this before, my tummy felt all
cramped, I felt giddy, I just wanted to giggle the whole
time, but I was crying like a baby, I jumped up and looked
in the mirror, man I will have to do something about the
goofy grin all over my face, my eyes looked bright and
mischievious, oh man, just how am I gonna be able to hide
how I feel.

"Yess...go on, go on aleady." An impatient Wesley chirped.

I never would ever have believed people like him even
existed, he brightened our day, Kyle's eyes oozed unashamed
love every time he looked at him.
Do I even deserve someone like him in my life?

"Yes, yes, oh yesssss, you do." Wesley interrupted again.
I looked at him and smiled, he blushed, his eyes wide with
boyish eagerness for me to continue, so I started narrating
again.

His written words were there though, I read them over and
over, not believing that it was real.
Every time I read them I felt more and more loved, and I
needed to see him soon, I was desperate, I had a million
questions, he is gonna be so totally sorry that he even
dared offer me his friendship, oh wowwwwww, I was so happy,
I could just scream it out to the whole world, he he.

When Kyle stormed int the room in later, he tripped over the
carpet and crashed down onto my bed
I jumped up, yanked him up nad then I hugged him, I ruffled
his hair, I kissed him on his head like Peter did, then I
threw him onto my bed and I tickled him and hugged him, he
squealed with laughter, he attempted to say something, but I
did not give him a chance as I completely lost it.
We started laughing and giggling like silly little girls,
tears running down our cheeks, then we became quiet and just
lay there, our tummies heaving up and down as we panted.
"What the heck was that all about Johnny, you've never
played with me like that ever?" Kyle asked, the sweetest
frown playing on his boy face.
I handed him my card, he read it slowly, then a smile
started growing on his face, then he tossed it into the box,
launched himself at me and knocked me off the bed, we landed
on the floor with a thud, then we started laughing again, we
were in heaven.
That night as Kyle and I went to bed, he begged to lie by me
for a little while, I opened my blanket and he almost
knocked me out the other side as he jumped in with his
boyish energy.
With his voice all hissy whipery, he could not stop telling
me in detail about everything that happened, and how Peter
must like him, how safe and happy he felt around him, he
just yapped and yapped non stop at a hundred miles an hour,
I just listened and smiled and smiled, and for the first
time, I did not even get irritated with him, no I actually
tickled him a bit while he was giggling.
He seemed dead scared that I would not let him finish
telling me about the most happy and eventfull day in his
young life so far.
He eventually finished and sighed, I did not chase him to
bed that night, it was MY birthday, I rolled onto my side, I
pulled Kyle closer, he snickered softly as I wrapped my arm
around him, I felt his soft little hand on top of mine as I
slowly rubbed his soft tummy.
Kyle turned his face towards mine, and in an almost
whispring voice said to me.
"I was so happy today, I love Peter Johnny, he's so nice you
know, and now you are also nice to me for the first time, I
love you Johnny, nite Johnny."
I gave him a reassuring hug, and kissed his soft cheek, and
he turned away to sleep.
"Yeah, Kyle...I love Peter as well, and he showed us how to
love each other..I love you Kyle"
He squeezed my hand tightly, then soon it went limp as he
fell asleep blissfully.
I lay awake for a while longer and heard Kyle giggle in his
sleep then go quiet again and breathe gently.(Hey! Kyle what
are you and Peter up to now.)
I thought as he giggled softly again, he was happy, I was
happy, I reached under my pillow, and placed MY birthday
card at my heart between Kyle and me.
An almost holy calm came over me as I looked forward to the
future, and I fell asleep as well.

"Awwww, that was so beautifull." Wesley chirped again.

The next day I jumped out of bed early, I showered, then I
blushed at my thoughts.
Will he let me, you know, maybe shower with him? noooo, I
don't hink so, but then again...
I felt so guilty, little Johnny was thinking for me, I
looked down and wondered if he would like, well you know,
all of me, I looked again at my agressive woody and the few
dark hairs at it's base, it looked so nice all wet like
that, oh well, here's hoping, anyway it looks nice enough,
my flat tummy, cute navel and lil sixpack looked cute too,
so did my little nipples on my developing boy chest, I
blushed again, why am I thinking these things, I never
noticed before, he he.
I let the warm water wash away any doubts about what I was
gonna do next, and
my heart felt more and more drawn to the house next door,
and to the wonderfull unknown, promising to be full of
wonderfull surprises, with someone like him, it could not
possibly be any otherwise.
See, I needed to complete that thousand pice puzzle, and I
knew who was gonna help me.
I walked back into the room with my towel wrapped around my
narrow waist, Kyle lay there in my bed, his head propped up
on one hand, he smiled mischieviously.
"I had a good time yesterday Johnny." Then he looked a
little sad.
"Johnny, can I go with you sometimes when you visit Peter...
please."
He looked so cute when he was serious, biting down on his
lip, his eyes so appealing.
I let him suffer for a little while, and when I thought he
might break out in tears.
"Of course lil bro, you must help me to steal his heart, you
know two against one, no contest hey, I think he already
likes you a lot anyway?"
You should have seen his face change, his adorable smile,
that missing tooth, then he suddenly jumped up, launched
himself on me and knocked me off my feet onto his bed, and
just hugged me for dear life, it felt awesome.

Oh, yeah Peter, you have no chance already.

I went to school today, I had a spring in my step, it was a
fine day, nothing was gonna spoil it for me, I felt so
excited that I wanted to tell everybody, Well not really,
actually, I just felt like ten tons of shit was taken off my
shoulders.
As I walked into the courtyard, I heard a commotion to my
right, I ran over their and heard. "Please don't hurt me, I
never did anything to upset you, please."
then I heard a slap, I broke through the ring of kids, and
on the paving lay a scrawny kid, he was crying. A big boy
stood over him,
"Get up and fight you little squirt, come on I dare you, you
little coward."
The Kid looked up at him, his lip bleeding, his eyes full of
tears.
"Why do you do this to me, what have I ever done to you?"
The big kid just stood there towering over him, then he
kicked him in the ribs, causing a cry of pain from the small
boy.
I dropped my bag and walked over to them and stood in front
of the big bully.
'What is going on here." I asked angrily.
"I'm teaching this runt a lesson, what business is it of
yours anyway?" he sneered at me.
"What did he do to you?" I asked.
"Nothing, he is just a little nerd and I don't like him, he
didn't stay out of my sight,
so he has to feel the consquences." he sneered again, his
eyes full of hate.
I bent down and held my hand out to the small kid, he
grabbed it and I helped him up.
"Why don't you just stay out of my business you little
queer." he snapped at me, the little kid was cowering behind
me.
"Oh, so I am a queer? now it IS my business, prove to all
these kids that I am a queer, you are good at beating up a
kid a quarter of your size, now prove that I am a queer."
"Well you must be, you helped him, and he is a little fag."
He stammered, not sounding so sure of himself any more.
"Well now is your chance, prove to these kids all around you
that we are queers, come on, I am waiting." I sad in my
cockiest voice and stood right in his face.
"Well, well you just look like queers." He attempted to
unnerve me.
"Ok then, if I am a queer , why don't you try beating me up
then, come on see if you are so brave now slime head," I
said and made a sudden move towards him, catching him off
guard.
He was startled, and swung at me but missed by a mile,
sending him off balance, I side stepped him and tripped him
at the same time, and he landed hard on the paving hitting
his head with a thud.
I knelt beside him, grabbed his shirt and balled my fist
menacingly above his face.
"Do you want me to finish you off in front of the whole
school, or are you gonna apologise to..."
I called the small kid over to me.
"What's your name." I asked him.
"W ... Will." he answered nervously, obviously still scared
to death.
"Well you heard his name and, if you apologise, I will not
beat the living shit out of you." I shouted at him,
unnerving him some more.
"I am sorry Will," he mumbled.
"I did not hear you, LOUDER asshole." I shouted again, my
face right above his.
"I am very sorry Will, I was a jerk, I am sorry ok?" Then he
started crying, and I actually felt sorry for him.
I stood up and offered him my hand, he looked puzzled but he
accepted, and I pulled him up.
"Will, please shake hands with." I motioned my head to him.
"Oh sorry, Danny" he answered.
"Ok with Danny." I affirmed, and they shook hands
cautiously.
"Thanks guys, that felt a whole lot better now, didn't it?"
They both nodded.
I looked at the crowd of kids still standing around, some
looking very surprised.
"Right, now all of you saw what happened here, and you did
nothing to help Will, your'e all guilty of beating him up,
it could have been any of you, so next time you will stop
any bullying or have to deal with me.
They all dispersed slowly, and I apologised to Danny for
being rough on him, and asked Will to forgive him.
Danny was dumbfounded at what I said, then he put his arm
around Will's scrawny shoulders an walked off with him.
"I'm eally sorry Will, can we at least be friends please."
I watched as Will nodded his head meekly, I quietly thanked
Peter, because if I did not feel so on top of the world, I
would never have had the courage to do what I did today.
Oh man I felt so alive all day, I popped a woody almost in
every class I was so happy, it felt awesome and I could not
wait to have my first chat with my hero.

Later on at lunch break, Will walked over to me, he seemed
very shy, he was actually very good looking, if one took the
time to notice.
"Hi ... I ... I, oh man I feel so dorky, I don't even know
your name, I'm sorry."
He avoided my eyes, and seemed to shiver like he was cold,
then I noticed just how scrawny he was, and I really felt
compassion for him.
"It's ok Will, please look at me ... that's better, my name
is Johnny, you have a nice name, is it Will or William?.
"Uuuh, Will, just Will, and thanks for everything, you
know." he answered meekly.
"Like in Will wheaton, from, the movie 'Stand by me', did
you see it by the way?"
I asked, to break the tension.
"Oh yes, one of my favorites, and Will looked so cute ...
Ummm, sorry, that sounded wierd I suppose." he looked down
and moved a pebble around with his foot.
"You must think I am such a jerk." As he looked up with just
his eyes and blushing slightly.
"No, not at all, I quite like you actually, and you were
gonna say about Will Wheaton?" and I looked him in the eyes
to show him I was not jerking him around.
He smiled slightly and looked me in the eyes still with his
head down a little.
"Well ... you know, when he pulls his top lip upwards, when
he speaks, I thought that looked kinda cute, that's all."
I said nothing, I just looked at him as he squirmed a
little, his facial expressions were priceless.
"Whaaaaat already, say something, please Johnny just say
something, c'mon."
He said as he became more nervous by the minute.
"Sorry Will, I just think that you do it pretty nicely as
well, did you practice for a long time?"
"Ummm, yeah, wel not for too long actually, then it seemed
to happen more automatically, but don't you think it's
silly, please tell me Johnny."
"No Will, it looks very cute when you do it, so don't let it
go K?"
He blushed and looked down again.
"Johnny... uuuumm, do you think, that maybe we can sorta
hang out sometimes, you know ... if you want to of course, I
won't mind if you don't wanna, really."
"Thought you were never gonna ask, of course Will, I will
like that, then you can do the lip thingy for me, I think
it's so cool."
He jumped up and down, his thin arms in the air, his fists
balled.
"Yes, yessss yesssssss, awesome." he shouted, the bell rang,
Will was happier now, mission accomplished, and I smiled.
The day was becoming even more fantastic, I made a new
friend, I helped a hurting boy realise how he can be nice to
other hurting kids, I was on cloud nine, I just cannot wait
to tell Peter all about everything and what he has done for
me already.

The rest of the week went fine, I made a  couple of friends
who actually want to hang out with me, Jenny told me that I
look and sound different and that she was so happy for me, I
told her about my feelings for Peter and she just said.
"Way to go Johnny, go get him, if this is what he has done
for you and Kyle already, then you would be a fool to let
him go."

This morning, I was beside myself with excitement, it's
Friday, I am going to go and visit him today, or maybe
tomorrow, I really don't know how I am going to get through
this day, I feel so hyper, I want him to like me so badly, I
want to be where Shawn was, I have been waiting for sooo
long, and now that it was within my grasp, I was terrified
of something going wrong. I will not survive a
disappointment of that magnitude, this was my lifeline, my
last chance to find myself and some happiness.

Everything went well, Will was so cute today, he is so funny
when he gets over excited, and he does that lip thingy all
the time, I find it so attractive.
What I love the most though, is that he is so happy and I
really enjoy his company, I have not let him down, it feels
so good.
Will told me that he befriended a geeky kid yesterday, his
name is Conner, and he is cool, and that he did it the same
way that I did it for him, he sounded so proud of himself,
especially when I gave him a big hug in front of everybody,
with his face close to my ear, he said in a trembling voice.
"I think I love you Johnny."
I whispered in his ear.
"Your'e welcome Will, very welcome." I felt him tremble.
We let go of each other, and he smiled coyly, he had a tear
running down his cheek, I wiped it away gently.
Thanks Johnny...thanks for everything."
I slapped him on the butt as he walked away, he whirled
round and the expression of surprise, combined with his
awesome smile was just priceless.
My chest inflated with shaeer pride, oh what a day, the sun
was shining so bright.

I also heard that Danny protected some poor boy from a
beating, and that he messed the other guy up pretty bad, I
felt proud of him, and he smiled broadly when I praised him
for it.
He also told me that he had two very nice friends, and that
he was happy at last,
then he grabbed me roughly and gave me a bear hug, he let me
go and shook my hand.
"Thanks, Johnny, your'e cool dude."

When I got home, I had something to eat, did my homework
happily, printed out my task for Monday, and then played my
favorite game, the time flew, then I heard Peter's car go
down his driveway and my heart skipped a beat. no... a
couple.
My parents were going out to a staff party later on, so I
asked my mon if Kyle and Icould go visit next door for a
while.
She said, she will phone and ask first.
I stood by the door and overheard my mom, I was almost
crapping myself.
"Are you sure? ok then, but please chase them if they become
a nusance, right, we will be back after midnight, it's nice
of you to offer, thanks, bye."
My mom came over to us and said that we could go, and that
we could sleep over, there was a spare room with beds in for
guests, and that we must behave ourselves.
We both hugged her fiercely, while jumping up and down.
"An Johnny, thank him again for everything from me, you and
Kyle seem so happy lately, so be good to him ok?"
Kyle and I rushed to our room and packed our overnight
stuff, then we picked our best clothes. I picked my nice
track suit, the soft material one, it was a white one with
blue stripes running from top to bottom at one side, I
thought that I looked nice in them, I also wore my fav
briefs, the fitted so comfortably, they were yellow in front
and black at the rear with a black stripe down the left
side, I felt good. I combed my hair at least four times and
brushed ny teeth twice.
Kyle looked cute in his green and white track suit.
"Hey, Johnny, do you think I need these." I looked over to
him and he was swinging his micky mouse briefs around on his
finger.
"Nah, I don't think so, there's not much to hide down there
anyway, he he."
"Thanks, I don't like wearing them anyway, feels nicer this
way, and I HAVE got something to hide you know." He pouted,
but sort of smiled as well.

He is becoming my really cute little brother and I was glad
that he was going to help me win Peter's heart, he he."

End of Chapter 1

PS.
Remember not to attempt any of this at home.
Peace, hap penis always, love and be loved.