The double life was taking its toll on Jaume. To tell the truth, since he met Kevin, he had only had a couple of clients in the first days, as he had already made the appointments before meeting Kevin. Then, he stopped. Not just because Kevin was taking almost all his free time, but above all because, even on the evenings when Kevin couldn't go to Sitges, Jaume didn't feel like having sexual intercourse with other people. Two weeks elapsed, then three and both became more and more attracted to each other, and felt an increasing joy just being together.
Jaume felt his money getting scarce and barely succeeded in paying the installment to the bank. But he didn't care, he had found love and he was happy. He was just more and more torn between whether or not he should tell Kevin about his double life. The man was not the nosy type, never asked Jaume about the room behind the corridor door, or behind the closed shutters of the veranda. He never asked the boy why that room was always closed, or what it contained. But in some way that room represented the "bad conscience" for Jaume. He felt it in some way represented an obstacle that still existed between them, preventing their love from being perfect.
In bed everything was getting better and better; but also out of bed, Kevin was showing him all his love in an increasingly explicit way, even if he never told Jaume of his love in so many words.
They celebrated the first month of their meeting. Jaume really had very little money, now that he had practically ceased to hustle. To pay the next installment, he had to sell the video deck and the giant screen TV set. Kevin sometimes spent the night at Jaume's place, especially on Saturdays, when he didn't have to work the next day. Kevin really enjoyed making love in the small roof garden on the veranda. Especially when they did it during the day, with the sun shining through the glass roof. Each time Jaume feared that Kevin would ask him what was behind the closed shutters, but it never happened. But as the boy was feeling his love for Kevin grow, keeping that secret, not being completely open with his lover, became a very heavy burden.
They celebrated their second month. They had just finished making love in the garden when Kevin, for the first time, told Jaume that he was in love with him.
Jaume felt happy, moved, but asked the man: "Why do you love me?"
"Why? Because I know that you love me too. And then because you are a smart, intelligent, good, simple, passionate boy. And then because you are beautiful. And then because I love how you make love..."
"But you still don't really know me..."
"In these two months, I've learned to know you, and to like you more and more."
"You know nothing about my past. I never told you anything about it. You never asked me about..."
"Isn't it better to talk about the future? About what we will do together? Because I have something to ask you - In a couple of months I have to go back to the States. But I don't want to lose you, to part from you. Will you come with me?"
"With you? To the U.S.A.?"
"Yes, certainly. You can live with me, at my place."
"But... and work?"
"I am wealthy enough, so that even if you couldn't find work, there will be no problem. Anyway, I think that you should easily find a good job. You're fluent in three languages... and having a job will get you the necessary visa to remain with me... Anyway, I don't want you to be a waiter any more, we will look for something better. So, do you accept? Will you come away with me?"
"Yes, I'd like to come. I'll willingly leave everything. But, first, before making such an important decision, you have to know everything about me. Afterwards, if you still want me to follow you, I'll come and live with you, wherever you decide."
So, Jaume started to tell him his story. He didn't feel like starting with his hustler life, so he started with his first experiences with Pedro Augusto. At the beginning Kevin was listening to him with a smile, nodding in understanding. But when Jaume got to the heart of his story, the man suddenly became serious, tense. Jaume, who was watching his reactions, understood what was happening. But, even while trembling inside continued, telling everything. The raw truth. Kevin now was listening to him, immobile, like a marble statue. When finally Jaume reached the point, to talk about their meeting, about what he had felt, Kevin interrupted him.
"I know the rest. You really succeeded in fooling me!" he said, standing up from the mattress and going back in the bedroom, where he started to get dressed.
Jaume followed him, standing in the doorway he asked him, rather sorrowfully: "What are you doing? Why are you dressing? You want to leave?"
Kevin didn't answer. Jaume approached him and gently took his arm, trying to make the man look at him, but Kevin brusquely pushed him away. The boy asked, begged him, to say something. Finally the man, now fully clothed, turned to face him, and his eyes scared Jaume. Kevin, his voice full of hate and contempt, told him that he wanted to have nothing more to do with him. Jaume felt his world falling apart. He tried to convince the man to stay, to talk, not to destroy everything so easily, just on an impulse. He begged him to try to understand. He swore his love, imploring him to wait... Kevin was now in the foyer. He stopped and sat at the table in front of the bookshelves.
Jaume felt his hope return and, conscious of his nakedness, said: "Just a moment, I'll be back immediately."
He went into his bedroom, slipped on his djellabah and quickly went back in the foyer. Kevin was writing something. When Jaume approached him, the man stood up and handed him a check.
"I calculated how many times we fucked. This sum should be enough. Take it!"
Jaume's eyes widened and he felt a sharp, deep pain. "No... you cannot do that to me. You cannot treat me like that. I came with you for love. Love, do you understand? Love! Love! Love!" he shouted with all his strength.
The man burst into laughter, then with a low, icy, whipping voice, started to insult him with a litany of ferocious epithets. Jaume was trembling violently, shaken by the vicious verbal assault. He took the check and tore it into small pieces. Then approached Kevin, handing him the pieces and grasped his arm. The man wriggled free and spat in Jaume's face.
Jaume felt a wave of rage rising inside himself. Letting it out, he beat Kevin with all his strength shouting: "Why? Why? Why?"
Kevin tried to open the entry door, dodging back while the boy continued to pull, jerk, and beat him in a wild fury. At last, Kevin managed to open the door and escape, throwing himself down the stairs. The man was bleeding, his face contorted with fear, Jaume suddenly felt completely drained of all his energy. He shut the door, leaned against it and slowly slipped to sit on the floor, sobbing and repeating with a low voice, endless times: "Why?"
Then he looked at his knuckles - they were covered with blood. He pressed his fists to his temples and, rocking back and forth, gave free vent to his tears.
He remained for a long time in that position, crouching against the entrance door, in utter despair. His body continued to tremble so much that his teeth were chattering. Jaume shut them tight. Then he slowly stood up. He felt weak, like a drunkard. He somehow managed to make it to his bedroom and threw himself on the bed. He felt drained, worn out. He immediately fell asleep.
The following morning he heard the alarm. He still felt terribly weak. He reached for the phone and called the restaurant, warning them that he couldn't go to work because he was ill. Then he fell back to sleep. He woke up again at 11 a.m. He took the telephone and called Miguel. Begged him to come to his place. His friend, hearing the tone of Jaume's voice, attempted to understand what had happened. Jaume didn't feel like explaining on the telephone and again abjectly begged him to come. Miguel, worried, immediately took his car and rushed to Sitges. Going up to Jaume's floor, he rang the doorbell. The boy, got out of bed and went to open the door. Miguel, when he saw Jaume and his distraught expression, entered, closed the door and hugged his friend.
"What's up, Jaume? What happened? What's the matter with you?"
Jaume almost grabbed at his friend's body and, shaking with violent sobs, unintelligibly tried to tell him what happened. Miguel took him to the sofa. He made him sit down with him and putting his arms around his shoulders pulled him to himself.
"Calm down, Jaume, I'm here... calm down..."
Slowly, Jaume regained control of himself and started to explain to his friend what happened. Miguel listened to him, holding him tight against his chest. At the end, trying to comfort him, he told him not to take it too hard and promised he would stay there as long as Jaume wanted. Then persuading him to take a tranquilizer and to try and get a little more sleep, Miguel accompanied him to his bedroom and made him lie down. Finally, Jaume fell asleep. Miguel tucked him in, then went back to the foyer to put things in order. Putting the chairs back in their place, he picked up the pieces of the torn check.
He recalled his friend's story and felt full of sympathy for him. He certainly never approved of Jaume's choice to become a hustler, but anyway he thought that his friend didn't deserve such treatment. That Kevin deserved the beating Jaume gave him. , A punch in the face, or in the stomach, hurts a lot less than a single hate word.
Around 3 p.m. he went to the kitchen to eat something. Occasionally, he went to the bedroom to check on his friend. Jaume was sleeping a restlessly. He was looking at him, when he heard the doorbell ring. He asked himself who it could be. Possibly Kevin, who understood the wrong he had done to Jaume? He looked through the peephole, wondering how he could recognize the American. Jaume often had told him about Kevin and described him, but they had never met. At the door was a policeman. Worried, he opened the door. The man gave him an envelope, made him sign a form and left. While he went to the bedroom, Miguel studied the envelope - the return address was the local Civil Court. He guessed it was a summons to appear for a hearing. Evidently Kevin had filed a complaint against Jaume.
Since Miguel was in his last year of law school at the university, he knew what that meant. If there was the faintest element of suspicion about the truth of the report, Jaume could be incriminated and there would have to be a trial. They could order a search of Jaume's apartment if Kevin wrote in the report that Jaume prostituted himself. While homosexuality between consenting adults was no longer a crime, prostitution was still punished by the law. Miguel knew he had to remove any compromising material as soon as possible. But he didn't know where to begin. He had to wake up his friend.
He approached the bed and started to gently shake Jaume, calling him by name. After several attempts, Jaume opened his eyes. He looked at his friend with an expression of deep sadness then sketched a tired smile.
"You are still here, Miguel?
"This envelope came. Open it. It must be a summons to appear for a deposition in Civil Court."
"Open it, please."
Miguel opened it and read it. He was right. "You have to attend for the deposition tomorrow morning at 8:30."
Jaume nodded yes, without saying anything. Then Miguel explained what he thought and told him that he would help him with his story, in any way possible. He persuaded Jaume to get out of bed and to give him anything that could possibly compromise him - all his clients addresses, the gay videotapes and magazines, correspondence with gay friends, gay books and so on. Also his calling cards inscribed with "Jaume of Sitges" and his telephone number and, in smaller characters "Call between 9 and 9:30 a.m., please" - these were not normal calling cards, that was evident.
Miguel told him that he would find him a good lawyer and made some telephone calls. He also called home and warned them that he was spending the night with a friend. He then called Juan. The friend promised that the following day he would come to Sitges early. With him he discussed the advice to give Jaume about the deposition the following day.
Then, after insisting his friend to eat something with him, he sent Jaume back to bed. When the boy was asleep, Miguel took all the material that Jaume had given him, put everything in plastic bags and took them to the parking lot, where he locked everything in the trunk of his car. Returning, he entered Jaume's bedroom, set the alarm clock, undressed and laid down next to his friend. It was the first time that Miguel was in the same bed with Jaume, not to make love. In this difficult situation, he didn't feel any sexual desire for Jaume; just a deep tenderness. He recalled the shock Jaume had because of Pedro Augusto and thought that the boy was really unlucky. He felt contempt for Kevin, but much more for Pedro Augusto. Besides, Miguel had immediately severed all relationships with Pedro Augusto by then.
When the alarm clock rang, Miguel jumped out of bed. He washed, dressed, prepared a coffee and went to wake up Jaume. He made him stand up, take a long shower and dress. Jaume had started to tremble again. Miguel gave him another tranquilizer, then reminded him how he had to behave at the deposition - to admit everything about his sexual relationship with Kevin and the beating, but absolutely deny any suggestions that he could be a hustler. He offered to accompany him to Civil Court, but Jaume absolutely refused.
"Wait for me here. You said Juan is coming, right?"
"Yes, sure."
"What time will he be here?"
"I think before 9:30."
"Then, it's better if you wait for him here. I don't feel too bad, don't worry. The tranquilizer is taking effect."
Jaume left. Miguel took a book of Garcia Lorca's poems. Sitting in an armchair in the foyer, he started to read, killing time. Around 9:15 Juan arrived. They talked about Jaume's problem. Juan had contacted a good lawyer in Barcelona, who was going to met them that afternoon. A little after 10 o'clock Jaume came back.
"I answered as you told me, Miguel. Now I need to sleep. Forgive me, Juan."
"At 5 p.m. the Barcelona lawyer will be waiting for us."
"I cannot leave Sitges. We'll talk about it later. Sorry..."
Jaume went to his bedroom. Juan called the lawyer and the man understood the situation. He said that he would come to Sitges, but later, after 7 p.m. Then Miguel told Juan that he was going to take all the material entrusted to him by Jaume to his home and that he would be back in about an hour. Juan, alone, entered his friend's bedroom. He emptied a chair from the clothes which were folded on it and sat near Jaume's bed. He looked at the boy - he was beautiful, even with the lightly contracted expression on his face. He recalled the three times they made love. The first for a bet, then the other two when he wanted to meet Jaume again. Jaume never asked for money.
"Clients, I have so many. I would like you to be my friend, Juan." Jaume told him.
Juan accepted - after all he too preferred to see Jaume more as a friend than as a sexual professional. On the other hand, Jaume never wanted to make love with him in the alcove with the mirrors.
"This is for the clients. I don't feel like making love here with you there, Juan." Jaume said.
He had also discovered the little ruse of Miguel, who at first didn't tell him that he was a friend of Jaume. That little lie didn't bother him. After all he had discovered a new dimension of his sexuality, thanks to that small deceit. And he liked Jaume. The second, and third time, he had to admit that, being penetrated by Jaume gave him a growing pleasure. Even if Juan preferred to be on top, he still wanted to continue to do "everything" with Jaume.
It was almost 1 o'clock. Juan started to feel hungry, but he decided to wait for Miguel. His friend was back around three o'clock. Jaume was still sleeping. Miguel went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Then setting the table, he went to call Juan and they woke up Jaume. They almost had to force him to eat. Then they started to chat, to distract him.
The lawyer arrived at 7:25 p.m. Jaume told him the entire story, answering all the lawyer's questions. While he was telling his story, his anxiety returned. Trembling, tears were again filling his eyes. Miguel and Juan often intervened. At the end, the lawyer said that the best tactic was to file a counter-libel suit. If Kevin would withdraw his suit for assault and his accusations of prostitution, they would withdraw their counter-libel suit. If not, there would have to be a trial. Jaume would surely be convicted of assault, but only with a fine. Since he had a clean record, he would receive a suspended sentence. But the American, would not be able to prove that Jaume was prostituting himself and so he would be convicted of defamation. And with that sentence, he would find it almost impossible to get another visa to enter Spain again.