Jaume exercised a careful control over his sentiments. In the beginning this was not too easy, because he was inclined to feel attracted to more than one of his clients, as soon as he felt some tenderness, some affection. And then he instinctively fancied he might have found his Prince Charming. But he had resolutely decided he could no longer believe in that.
Love, admittedly it existed, was a luxury that he couldn't afford. It was an illusion he couldn't try to face. It was a fairy tale in which he had to stop believing.
So, as soon as he felt that some of his encounters could change into something more than simple paid physical intercourse, he kept it under control. He limited it, at times he even interrupted it. Frequently, his choice made him feel tense, bitter, unhappy. But more often he felt free, master of the situation, safe.
He began again to take care of his body, his appearance, his culture. He wanted to be the best in the Sitges' market, and he was. All the other boys who hustled, little by little recognized that, and so Jaume was more and more admired and respected by them. And this was also because of his character. Often, he helped the other boys when they were in difficulty. And he did so, not only because he knew that he did not have to fear any competition, but also, and mainly, because Jaume had a good and generous heart.
Sometimes Jaume made love with some of his colleagues, especially with some of the new boys that, each year, appeared on the colorful and lively scene of Sitges. And to the newcomers, he willingly lavished precious advice. About his clients, it was always and only him who chose them, and his price could be really high or absurdly low, following the way he valued the client. But normally it was rather high.
Over the years, because of his character, his attention to details, and his experience, he began to understand instinctively what his clients expected from him, beyond their verbal communication, and he gave that to his clients. Everybody, even the first time they had sex with him, was enthusiast about him. The only things he refused were S-and-M intercourse, fist fucking, water sports and bondage, be it in the active or passive role. All that revolted him, both physically and psychologically, because after all, in spite of everything he tried to have a relationship, not cynical but at least detached with his clients. He was and remained basically a romantic. In sexual intercourse he always looked, at least, for a background of sweetness. But above all of mutual respect.
1984 came and with it his twenty-fourth birthday. He held a party at his home, where he invited Miguel, Juan and Pablito, one of his hustler friends. A boy of seventeen, just arrived in Sitges, that he helped to take the first steps and to settle in.
He met Pablito the very first evening the boy arrived in Sitges. That evening Jaume was strolling, a little after midnight, along the beach. He didn't feel like looking for a client. It was only a short time since Patrick left him, and he was still feeling sad. His hands in his pockets, he walked barely touching the water line, his eyes lost in the darkness of the sea. That velvety blackness from where came faint warm gusts and a rhythmic, muffled sound, like a deep breathing, which fascinated Jaume. The eternal breath of the sea... he thought, enchanted. He felt a great peace descending upon him that little by little soothed the dull pain nestled in the bottom of his heart.
He stopped.
And at that point he saw a shadow coming towards him. The silhouette, the gait, made Jaume think that it had to be a boy, young and well shaped. Remaining still, he looked at the boy drawing nearer. Little by little he caught the details of his figure.
When the boy approached him, their eyes met, and the boy, rather ashamedly, asked: "Do you have a cigarette?"
Jaume answered with a smile and offered him one. Then he lit it and the boy put his hand lightly on Jaume's hand, almost as if he wanted to guide the lighter in the right direction. Jaume felt that the boy's hand trembling slightly. They looked at each other again, and Jaume smiled.
Then the boy said: "I am Pablo. And you?"
"Jaume."
"Jaume? Then a Catalan."
"Yes. And you are a Castilian, instead."
"Yes. You Catalans hate us Castilians, right?"
"At times. But I feel it would be difficult to hate you."
"Do you think? And why?"
"Because you are handsome, but above all, because you have a nice smile."
"Thank you. You really are beautiful. But, not always someone who is beautiful is also a respectable guy."
"You aren't?"
"I hope I am. So you live here? What is your job?"
"Yes, I live here. In the daytime I work as a waiter, and at night I hustle."
"A hustler? And you admit it?"
"Sure. Are you scandalized?"
"No... no, no! I too at times hustle... I came here to Sitges because I've heard that here it is easy, there are many tourists full of desire and money... is it like that?"
"Just arrived?"
"Yes, this afternoon."
"Did you find some johns, today?"
"Not yet. I hoped you could be my first john, but..."
"Here on the beach you can pick up little or nothing. You have to go to the clubs. Do you know them?"
"No, and then, I have no money. I'm really flat broke."
"Just come with me, okay? It's all on me, of course."
"Really? All right, thank you."
Jaume made Pablito tour the Sitges' clubs and introduced him to the owners, managers and to the personnel as his friend. It was one in the morning when Jaume decided to go back home.
So, he asked Pablito: "I bet you still don't have a place to sleep."
"Right..."
"Well, tonight you can sleep at my place. Tomorrow I will take you to a very cheap boarding house, where all the boarders are hustlers. So you'll make friends, and it will be easier for you to enter the circle. Are you coming?"
"Thank you. Do you live far from here?"
"No, just two blocks."
"Alone?"
"Sure."
"Do you have two beds, or..."
"Yes, I have two beds, both very wide. If you like, you can sleep alone."
"Or?"
"With me, if you prefer."
"But you? What would you like?"
"With you, possibly. I like you, in spite of you being Castilian." Jaume said jokingly.
The boy cheerfully answered: "I too like you, in spite of you being Catalan. I think it will be better to sleep in the same bed, then."
At home, Pablito asked if he could shower. Then joined Jaume in his bed. They made love until about 3 a.m. Jaume liked the boy's freshness and made love to him with pleasurable abandon, taking his small firm ass, and making Pablito take him. Jaume, little by little took the boy to the maximum pleasure. Pablito was overwhelmed by the emotion, after the long, sweeping intercourse.
"Fucking goodness! If you are that way also with your johns, they would all come back to you, after the first time. You are a bomb! I never made love so good, until now!"
Jaume smiled at him and ruffled his hair: "No, I'm only that way with those I want to see again."
"So, do you want to see me again?"
"We will both be too busy with our clients, I'm afraid... and I hope. It is rather rare we hustlers make love among ourselves, did you know?"
"Yes, I see. But... any time you feel like it, just whistle, and I'll drop everything and everybody and rush here! I like you really a lot, you know that?"
"I like you too. We can possibly meet again... in bed, I mean. But you have to get settled in first. You can earn a lot of money, but it also very fast. Let's sleep, now, at 9 I have to wake up to go to work."
In the afternoon Jaume took Pablito to Mama Pata's boarding house, and the woman put the boy in one room with three other boys about his age. Jaume lent him the money to pay one week in advance. After that day they met several times. Pablito gave him back his money and wanted also to give him a gift, to express his gratitude. Jaume was lavishing advice on the boy, and Pablito blindly followed everything. A couple of times, they also made love.
During the party, Miguel seemed to have eyes only for Pablito - he was evidently entranced by the boy. Pablito reacted to the young man's courting with a coquettish attitude - it was clear that he appreciated it.
After a while, Jaume called the boy into the kitchen under the pretext that he needed help, and told him: "If you want, you can take Miguel into the room of mirrors."
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"Not at all. You both are my friends, and if you'd like to share intimacy for a while... But, don't ask money from Miguel, he is a dear friend."
Pablito seemed hurt: "Of course not, who do you think I am?"
"OK, sorry. It is just that Miguel is important to me."
"You did it with him?"
"Sure, many times."
"What does he like to do? If you tell me, I'll try to make him happy..."
"Discover it by yourself. It is more pleasing that way, don't you think?"
They went in the foyer with the ice creams. After the four of them had finished eating, Pablito stood up and went to whisper something in Miguel's ear. The young man looked at Jaume with interrogative eyes and Jaume made a light assenting nod and smiled. Then Miguel stood up and, in silence, surrounded Pablito's waist with his arm and took him into the room of mirrors. They heard the lock click.
Juan looked at Jaume, smiled, then whispered: "All evening, Miguel undressed your friend with his eyes. And finally he is undressing him for real."
Jaume nodded with a smile, then said: "Is it OK if I put on some symphonic music?"
"Certainly, it's all right. Are you thinking of a musical background for them?"
"Yes, the soundtrack. Even if, knowing them both, rock and roll would probably be better."
"And... for us, what would be suitable?" Juan asked, with a warm voice.
Jaume smiled: "Symphonic music, precisely. Do you want to come with me?"
"Yes. I was about to ask you. You are the one and only man with whom I can make love, do you know? Or rather, with whom I desire to make love. And you are the only one with whom I have done it."
"Yes, I know. And yet I cannot understand why. You like girls, and I'm not at all girlish..."
"True, on the contrary, you are very manly, gentle and virile at the same time."
"Other men are also. Miguel, for instance, and Pablito."
"Sure, and yet I don't think I could, with them. I mean... I am sure they could make me enjoy.... but I wouldn't feel at ease, I am not attracted to them, the thought of making love with them doesn't arouse me. On the contrary you... I desire. When you penetrate me, nowadays, it feels... right. If I did the same thing with another male I would feel... like I'd turned gay. But not with you. Isn't it weird? Funny? I must have some screws loose..."
"Yes, indeed! But, when you fuck with a girl, do you ever fancy a male?"
"Of course not. I enjoy that girl."
"And when you do it with me?"
"Well, then I think about you and enjoy you. And now I want you. Feel here how hard it is!"
"When you do it with me, you never think about a girl?"
"How could I, with your tool pistoning between my buttocks?"
"Well, but when it is you taking me?"
"Not then either. I like touching, looking and feeling you're so manly! It is a different thing, do you see? I like making you enjoy, and watching you enjoy. And I like the way you make me enjoy. With you, it feels right."
"Yes, I know, and yet I'm not able to understand. If you were a bisexual, you would feel the same with other males..."
"No, I would be terribly ashamed. With you it is different. We know each other so deeply. You have been the first and only male in my life. In front of you, I like to undress, I like the way you look at me, the way you touch me. I like to look at you, to touch you. With another male I would really be ashamed."
They went to Jaume's bedroom and they started to make love. Juan in bed was more and more uninhibited and more and more skilled. He had for Jaume a sweet tenderness.
In the morning they were woken up by Pablito who brought them coffee in bed. After showering and dressing, the four friends met in the kitchen for breakfast. Then Miguel and Juan said goodbye and left to go back to Barcelona. Pablito went out with Jaume and accompanied him to La Brasa.
"I like your friend Miguel. He is an alright guy."
"All my friends are great guys."
"Me too?"
"Of course. You are my friend, therefore..."
"It's great being your friend. The boys, at the clubs, only have good words to say about you. Even the most venomous or gossipy ones, I never heard them make a bad remark about you. I think you are the most esteemed boy in all Sitges."
"So much the better. I am lucky."
"No, I don't think it's luck. The fact is that you are kind with everybody, you have a good word for anybody, you are ready for whoever needs help, advice, support. You are a good man."
"But no, I'm just... me. I can also fight with someone who makes me mad."
"Yes, Xavier told me that once you gave him a good thrashing."
"Did he also tell you the reason?"
"Yes. And I told him that you were right to beat him. And he agreed."
"Poor Xavier... But I think it was good for him..."
"I think so too. Here in Sitges, you are a kind of leader, I discovered."
"Me? Go on! I never give orders to anybody, do I?"
"No, it's true. But when you say something, you're right. Everybody listens to you. Marcel says that you are the King of Sitges."
Jaume smiled and shook his head. They were now in front of La Brasa, they said goodbye. Pablito went to make some purchases, then to the Reflejos to see if any colleagues were there, in spite of the fact it was early. Here he met Carlos and Jorge. Sat at their table and chatted with them.
Carlos was saying that he had found an empty flat behind the station: "It's nice. If four of us rent, we can afford it. There are two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and a bathroom. We can sleep all four in one room and keep the other bedroom and the living room to receive our clients who don't have their own place. We can take turns sharing the house chores. What do you think?"
"I would like it, you know that. And you, Pablito?"
"Well, yes... but who would be the fourth?"
"We can ask Marcel, he is a good boy." Jorge said.
"Yes, but he is not too clean... I wouldn't like to have to clean up after him..." Carlos objected.
"Esteban, then?"
"No, not him. I never could get on well with him. Or him with me." Pablito said.
"Then it's up to you, Pablito. Who can we ask ?"
"Tony?"
"Tony? Well, could be OK..."
"No, not Tony, I don't trust him. I am not sure, but they say that when he can get his hands..."
"What's up, Jorge, are you afraid he might try to take you?"
"No, not me, I wish he would! But the clients wallet. I don't want to risk having the police searching our home." Jorge objected.
The other two boys laughed but nodded in agreement. They continued to talk. While they were still discussing the fourth boy, the door opened and a boy entered. The three friends stopped talking at once and looked at him, fascinated. And not just them, but several other clients of the Reflejos.
He looked around 18, slender, tall, his body wrapped in a lilac T-shirt and jeans of the same color, tight, emphasizing an athletic and well proportioned body. His head was surrounded by an aureole made of a thick helmet of blond curls, with the warm nuance of ancient gold. His eyes, a light blue-violet, like a sky in late Spring, scanned the club. Noticing the many eyes staring at him, he looked away and charmingly blushed. He went to the counter and with a low warm voice, asked for a beer.
"Fucking heavens! So, angels really do exist." Carlos whispered, expressing everybody's thoughts.
"It seems so. Even if the basket filling his fly doesn't seem so spiritual. He must have a good 8 inches at least, I bet!" Jorge exclaimed.
"Do you think only about that?" Carlos asked giggling.
"Why, don't you? Wouldn't you like to fuck with that angel?" Pablito asked.
"No, he is my age! You know that I only like mature men, don't you? From 35 on." Jorge answered.
"Well, me too, from 25 on... But with him I would be ready to do it immediately, right here. He really seems like the Prince Charming of fairy tales!" Pablito said, then added, "You know what I'm trying to say?"
"But possibly he is not gay, and even if he is, perhaps he doesn't like hustlers. He really doesn't need to pay, not someone like him..." Carlos said.
Pablito stood up: "Anyway, I'll try, and I'll even do it for free, if he wants to. Bye, handsomes !" He stood up and went over to the counter, sitting on the stool next to the newcomer. "Hello, I am Pablo. Are you foreign?" he said with his best smile to the boy, holding out his hand.
The boy looked at him, at first hesitant, then returning the smile, shook hands with Pablito and, in broken Spanish said: "Good morning. I am Kiril. I am Ukrainian. Do you speak English?"
"No, and neither Ukrainish. But you speak Spanish, don't you?"
"Little little. Can I offer you drink?"
"Thank you, beer for me too."